Hosts:
Dr. Ashlee Gethner, LCSW – Child of a Police Officer
Jennifer Woosley Saylor, LPCC S – Child of a Police Officer
Guest:
Marian Cosgrove - Army Veteran and Law Enforcement Officer
Episode Overview:
In this deeply honest and powerful episode, hosts Jennifer and Ashlee sit down with Marian Cosgrove, an Army veteran, long-serving law enforcement officer, and survivor, to talk about substance abuse among first responders. Marian shares her personal journey from childhood trauma, through years of high-functioning alcoholism, to eventual recovery. She discusses the cultural normalization of substance use in law enforcement, the challenges of recognizing when coping has become addiction, and the importance of self-reflection and support.
Marian opens up about the root causes of her substance abuse, the process of self-honesty, hitting rock bottom, and the life-changing role of therapy and 12-step programs in her recovery. The conversation also touches on the impact of unresolved pain from childhood, why coping mechanisms develop, and how compartmentalization can be both protective and harmful.
Key Topics Covered
The Hidden Prevalence of Substance Use: Why substance abuse is so common among first responders and how drinking becomes normalized as a way to cope with trauma and emotional suppression.
Marian’s Story: From a significant childhood trauma (including her struggle to be heard and believed), to coping with discomfort through alcohol use, Marian details how her journey diverged into high-achievement while battling feelings of being an outsider and never quite fitting in.
Where is the Line?: We explore the blurry line between social drinking and alcoholism, and how it’s not always clear. Especially for high-functioning individuals. Self-reflection and honesty are critical.
Compartmentalization and Childhood Impact: The conversation emphasizes how early experiences and learned coping tactics can shape adult behaviors, especially in high-stress careers.
Functional Alcoholism & Progression: Marian describes how her drinking escalated slowly over decades, how she rationalized her habits, and how the "incremental elevator" of standards slides over time.
Reaching Out and Support: After her life spiraled, Marian sought help through a treatment program and AA, acknowledging the difficulty and necessity of vulnerability and community among those with lived experience.
Changing Coping Mechanisms: Using the concept of “neuro-bypasses” (habitual pathways in the brain), Marian explains how long-term coping with substances becomes deeply ingrained, and how therapy and group support helped her forge new habits.
Impact on Family & Children: The group discusses how first responder stress and substance use can affect families, particularly children who may internalize emotional disconnection at home.
Advice for Listeners: Marian encourages anyone struggling with substance abuse to reach out, listen to others’ stories, seek both peer and professional support, and understand that recovery is possible.
If this episode resonated with you or if you have stories to share about living with a first responder, reach out to Ashlee and Jennifer on their social media platforms!
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