May 17, 2025 • 36 mins
Are we overlooking what the brain is really telling us about ADHD, autism, and behaviour in kids? In this episode of the Where Parents Talk podcast, host Lianne Castelino speaks to Dr. Robert Melillo, a pioneer in childhood brain development who unpacks the science behind neurodevelopmental disorders—and challenges common assumptions.
Drawing on over 30 years of experience, Dr. Melillo explains how many of these challenges stem from functional brain imbalances rather than genetic factors. He shares non-medication-based strategies and early intervention insights that can help parents support their child’s development and emotional well-being.
A father of three, including a neurodiverse child, Dr. Melillo offers practical tools and renewed hope for families navigating neuro-developmental disorders.
Key Takeaways:
The sharp rise in childhood neuro-developmental disorders like ADHD and autism underscores the urgent need for deeper insight and more effective intervention strategies.
Dr. Melillo highlights how subtle brain imbalances—not just external behaviours—are often at the root of learning and behavioural challenges.
Addressing these issues requires more than medication; a holistic, brain-based approach can help uncover and treat underlying causes.
Recognizing delays in developmental milestones is crucial, as they may signal neurological imbalance and broader cognitive issues.
Hormonal shifts combined with increased screen exposure can significantly affect children's emotional well-being—calling for more intentional, tech-conscious parenting.
Equipping parents with science-backed tools fosters resilience and independence in children while helping them navigate bullying, peer pressure, and the digital world with confidence.
Companies mentioned in this episode:
- The Melillo Method
This podcast is for parents, guardians, teachers and caregivers to learn proven strategies and trusted tips on raising kids, teens and young adults based on science, evidenced and lived experience.
You’ll learn the latest on topics like managing bullying, consent, fostering healthy relationships, and the interconnectedness of mental, emotional and physical health.
Links referenced in this episode:
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Foreign welcome to the WhereParents Talk podcast. We help grow
better parents throughscience, evidence and the lived experience
of other parents. Learn how tobetter navigate the mental.
And physical health of yourtween teen.
Or young adult through provenexpert advice. Here's your host,
(00:23):
Leanne Castellino. Welcome toWhere Parents Talk. My name is Lianne
Castelino. Our guest today isa clinician, researcher and professor.
Dr. Robert Melillo is aninternationally recognized expert
in brain development andneurological disorders affecting
children and adults. He's alsoa best selling author and founder
(00:47):
of the Melillo Method, whichconnects brain function and behavior
and overall health withoutmedication. Dr. Mellillo has helped
children and familiesstruggling with ADHD, autism, OCD,
anxiety and otherdevelopmental challenges for over
30 years. And he's also afather of three adult children. Dr.
(01:10):
Melillo joins us today fromNew York City. Thank you so much
for taking the time.
Well, thank you. It's really apleasure to be here. Thank you.
This is a large topic. This isa topic that affects many families.
And I wonder if you wouldstart by setting the table for us
in terms of what are youseeing in your practice with respect
(01:31):
to the number of families whohave children with special needs.
Yeah, I think, and we've beenhearing a lot about this, I think
in the news of late, thatthere is actually this essentially
epidemic rise of childhoodneurodevelopmental disorders that
really started about 30 yearsago, around the early 80s is when
(01:53):
we started seeing a lot ofthese rises of these issues. And
it's only been reallyaccelerating. And it involves all
different types ofneurodevelopmental issues. And because
it's been going on for 30years, we kind of also see it on
the adult mental health sidethat it's really all interrelated.
But there's clearly anincrease in the number of individuals
(02:18):
and number of children thatare being born and that have a diagnosis
of a disability. It's not justbecause we're recognizing it earlier
or we're diagnosing it betteror because of diagnostic substitution.
All of those things are partof the increase and all of that is
happening. But really thestatistics show that only about 50%
(02:42):
of the increase that we'veseen, for instance, from 30 years
ago, autism was 1 in 10,000,where now it's 1 in 31 as of last
week. If you look at thatincrease, only about 50% of that
increase at most could beattributed to better recognition,
(03:02):
early diagnosis, diagnosticsubstitution, or any of those factors.
That means that 50% or more ofthat increase is unexplained by any
of that. And that means thatwe can. We have to assume that that
means that that's an actualincrease in the number of people.
And so, you know, we do seethis rise and it is increasing and
(03:26):
it's becoming more and moreand more each year.
Now you have been in thisspace over the course of that time.
We're talking about 30 yearsand a little bit more. Can you tell
us what first inspired you togo down the road of childhood neurodevelopment?
Yeah, initially I, you know,as a clinician, I was just very interested
(03:48):
in neurology and in the brainand in rehabilitation. So I wanted
to combine rehabilitation andneurology in a way to, you know,
kind of create like this wayof using almost like exercises to
help train the brain and to dothings to help people with those
(04:09):
types of issues. And I wasinitially working mostly with, you
know, teens or adults, but myown child was diagnosed with ADHD
at a certain point, my oldestson. And I was already teaching clinical
neurology because I had gottena subspecialty in neurology and rehabilitation,
and I was teaching it anddoing research in that area. And
(04:33):
so I knew a lot about thebrain, I knew a lot about neurology.
And when my son was diagnosed,my first class question in my head
was, well, what is that? Imean, what. I didn't know what ADHD
was, but my first thought,well, what's actually what's happening
in the brain? And I went outto people and tried to ask them that
(04:54):
I thought would know othercolleagues of mine that work with
children, and no one couldanswer that question. And so I realized
I needed to kind of look intoit myself. I felt that there had
to be an answer, but no onewas really clear onto what. What
that was. And so that's whereI spe spent, you know, the better
part of 10 years reallyresearching it continuously. Eventually
(05:16):
I put it into a textbookcalled Neurobehavioral Disorders
of Childhood and EvolutionaryPerspective, which is, you know,
it's still a best selling booktoday, and we're actually working
on the second edition of it 20years later. But that really, you
know, then from there it was,how do we change it? Like, what are
(05:37):
we now? Once understandingwhat the problem was, as I was doing
that, I was also looking atdifferent ways to intervene and help
my own son and other children.And along the way I developed, you
know, methods that were reallyvery, very effective. And I've just
been working on that andtrying to perfect that ever Since.
(05:58):
A lot of what you've done thenis really rooted in understanding
the imbalance in the brain,what causes that. So can you take
us through what a functionaldevelopmental imbalance in the brain
is, and how does that impact achild's daily behavior or their lear?
Yeah, well, when I, you know,first, when my son was. Had the issue
(06:21):
and when I started looking atit first, I wanted to understand
what it was like, where didthese symptoms come from? And, and
one of the things I cameacross early on in the research was
this concept of unevenness ofskills meant that kids with ADHD
or other neurodevelopmentaldisorders like autism or Tourette's
(06:42):
or, you know, dyslexia, thatthey weren't delayed or behind in
everything. In fact, they wereoften exceptional at certain things,
that they were really good atcertain things, and then struggled
with others. So right from thebeginning, with a rehab mentality,
right from the beginning, thatsounded like some sort of imbalance
(07:04):
to me. Right? That's kind ofhow I thought about it. And because
in rehab, a lot of what we'retrying to do in physical rehab is
establishing imbalance,imbalance in the body. And so I started
looking into it and reallyunderstood that basically in adhd,
everything that they struggledin was a right hemisphere function,
(07:27):
and everything that they wereexceptional or overactive in was
really a left hemispherefunction. So right from the beginning,
I started looking at that andsaying, wow, this seems to fit this
pattern. And then I startedlooking at everything and then once
I kind of figured out that waswhere a lot of the symptoms were
coming from, then I wanted toknow what. Well, what started it
(07:49):
all? Where did it come from?And it really went back to brain
development. And then a lot ofthis really has fueled me into doing
other degrees. I have a degreein neuropsychology and clinical rehabilitation.
Neuropsychology. I have a PhDin developmental cognitive neuroscience.
I wanted to really understanddevelopment of the brain at the highest
(08:09):
level, to understand whatcould go wrong and to understand
what can we do to change it.Right? Because if you really don't
know what the problem is, youcan't really say what causes it,
and you can't really say whatyou're going to do to change it.
So essentially, the humanbrain is unique in that our brain
is the largest brain per bodysize of any primate. But because
(08:32):
we stand upright, we have thesmallest birth canal. So our brain
has to be very restricted inthe womb. We have to not let it grow
too much. And so when ourbrain, when A human brain is born.
It's very immature. It's onlyabout 20%, 25% of the adult size.
(08:53):
Every other animal has most oftheir brain develop in the womb,
and they're much more furtheralong in their maturity than we are.
It means 75, 80% of our braindevelopment happens outside the womb.
And that's the most importantpart of our development. So anything
(09:13):
that alters that developmentaltrajectory, if we don't hit those
milestones that we're supposedto hit, if we're late or if they're
off or if we skip them, itreally signifies that something is
affecting the way our brain isgrowing and that when we go off in
one direction, in a way, it'swill continue. And the right hemisphere
(09:36):
takes the lead in developmentin the first three years, and then
the left brain comes on forthe next three years. And at the
end of six years, our brainshould be pretty balanced and integrated,
and then it should developfrom there. And the right and left
brain should be very differentfrom one another. So anything that
alters that growth anddevelopment can create this imbalance
(09:58):
where the left brain may comeonline too early and stop right brain
development, or the rightbrain may stay on too long and interfere
with left brain development.And that creates this imbalance,
this developmental imbalancein the brain. And we get overactivity
of certain networks on oneside and underdevelopment and under
(10:19):
activity of the other. Andthat's really where all the symptoms
end up coming from.
So how does a parent thendetect, how does it manifest a brain
imbalance in a child beforethey are formally diagnosed?
Yeah, well, one of the thingsis really paying attention to those
(10:40):
milestones today. It's reallycommon for pediatricians and people
to say, well, it doesn'tmatter. All children develop it their
own way. And crawling isn'teven a milestone anymore. It's completely
wrong. And it just clearlyshows that they don't really understand
(11:01):
how the human brain develops.But we know that looking at those
milestones even before birth,one of my main areas of research
is something called primitivereflexes or neonatal reflexes. These
are these motor reflexes thatwe're born with that are there even
before we're born. And becauseour brain is so immature at birth,
(11:25):
we need to be able to move, tobe able to engage the world around
us, to stimulate the sensesand stimulate the genes that will
build our brain. And we needto be able to move. But the part
of our brain that reallyallows us to move isn't really developed
yet. A horse will run in undertwo hours after being born. Humans
(11:49):
in the best case scenariowon't walk until around 12 months.
So there's a big delay in ourmotor development. But we need to
move. So we're born with thesethings called primitive reflexes
from our brainstem that allowus to move and do things like suck
and root so we can feedourselves. But also they allow us
in the womb to be able to getinto the right position. A baby at
(12:13):
the end of the third trimestershould get into the right position
upside down and backwards anddo it without the cord getting wrapped
around, around their neck. Andthey should be deep enough down in
the birth canal that itinduces the birth process. And if
that's not happening or ifthere's a delay or the child is breach
or the cord is wrapped aroundtheir neck, you have to have to question
(12:35):
why that's not the way it'ssupposed to be. And I believe that
that's because these reflexesaren't really there when they're
supposed to. They're delayedin their, in their appearance and
they're, and the movements arenot happening the way they should
at the time they should. Andthen baby should use these reflexes
to help themselves move downthe birth canal and get themselves
(12:58):
out. If there's a forcepsneeded, if vacuum extraction, if
the child needs extraassistance to get out again, it may
tell us this reflexes aren'tthere. If a baby, the first milestone
outside the womb is a childshould be able to latch on nice and
properly to breastfeed if themother chooses to do that. And you
(13:20):
know, we see 85, 90% of thekids, especially the non speaking
autistic kids, could not latchon. Why? Because usually that rooting
and sucking reflex isn't therewhen it's supposed to be. And then
if they miss that milestone,they usually miss other milestones
or skip them or do it in anunusual way, or drag one leg or don't
(13:44):
or scoot on their butt or doan unusual crawl or skip crawling.
They should go through allthese stages. And at right around
12 months, all children shouldbe able to say a few words. They
should be able to pointclearly and have eye contact and
they should be walking. And ifthey're not, then why? And what we've
(14:07):
been able to show with ourresearch is that if these reflexes
don't come on and they missthese milestones, then these reflexes
are supposed to go away atone, they lead us through that first
year, but then they need to goaway, otherwise they Keep the brain
in a more immature state andthen this can lead to these imbalances.
(14:28):
And so for me, looking atthose early milestones and looking
at even those pre birthmovements and looking at what's happening
at one, and, or, and even if achild is doing that, they should
never regress, right? So weknow that some children seem to be
meeting their milestones, eventhough they use, usually don't really,
but they might be able to walkor talk a bit or point. And then
(14:52):
in the next, you know, sixmonths or a year, they lose that
suddenly or it gradually justgoes away. This is again the emergence
of this imbalance where we seethat left brain comes online too
early and it pushes down thatright brain and that's where we see
a lot of that regressionhappening where a child will lose
a lot of those skills. Andagain we see that those reflexes
(15:15):
are still there. And that'sone of the, one of the root, root
issues.
So when you talk abouthemispheric brain imbalances, firstly,
how many of these conditionsthat we've kind of briefly alluded
to, ADHD, Autism, OCD, etc.Can be directly attributed to these
(15:36):
brain imbalances? And then thesecond part of the question is what
can be done to restore thebalance and is that even possible?
Yeah, all of them are due tothat. Basically everything we see
now, again, there are childrenthat have brain injuries, there are
children that have geneticdisorders like down syndrome, Fragile
(15:57):
X tuberous sclerosis, LandauKleffner syndrome, and then there
are what we call de novomutations that we don't really have
a name for that really show upin the child and aren't present in
the adults. Those are veryrare. When we look at autism, for
instance, we know that thereare some kids that are what we call
syndrome stomach. So thatmeans about 5, maybe 10% of kids
(16:21):
that are labeled with autismreally have a genetic mutation somewhere
like down syndrome or FragileX. And they also have features of
autism, but 95 or 90% don'thave any of those. So what we're
dealing with are children thatdon't have any clear cut genetic
(16:43):
mutation, they don't have anyinjury, and yet they have these pretty
severe developmental issues ordelays. They're not speaking or they're
not looking or they're notpointing or they may have a lot of
immune issues going on. So allof those are essentially a different
(17:04):
type of these imbalances. Thisroot cause is this imbalance, this
delay, this developmentaldelay. And depending on the natural
genetic traits of the child.Like, for instance, we know in autism,
Simon Baron Cohen, one of thetop researchers out of Cambridge
(17:24):
in the 90s, showed that in thefamilies of people with autism, there
were a lot more physicists andmathematicians and engineers. He
also showed that there was alot more people in the finance world
or professional doctors,lawyers, and then also showed that
anywhere where there was acluster of people that work in the
IT industry, like in SiliconValley, you have a very high rate
(17:49):
of autism in those areas. Sowhat does that all have to do? What
are those jobs all have incommon? They all have basically left
brain skills, right peoplethat are uniquely gifted in their
left brain abilities, whereassomething like bipolar or dyslexia,
we know that these are peoplethat have right brain skills, people
(18:11):
that are more gifted, let'ssay creatively or socially or athletically.
They're more likely to havechildren that have dyslexia or bipolar
or learning disabilities orprocessing disorders, things that
are left brain delays. So it'sall of these things are superimposed
(18:32):
on traits and other features,but essentially they're all part
of the same thing, thesefunctional disconnections between
networks. The way to change itis the good news is again, because
there is no genetic mutationand there's no brain injury, we can
change it. We can in manycases completely correct it. And
(18:53):
obviously, the earlier thebetter. But it's never really too
late to also. And the brainhas something called neuroplasticity,
which means it can changedramatically with the right type
of stimulation. So it startswith an evaluation and an assessment
to really identify the natureof the imbalance and where it is,
(19:13):
and whether it's more of righthemisphere networks or left hemisphere
deficit or. And then we puttogether a program that is really
comprehensive because thebrain controls everything. So we
do first, we want to addressthese primitive reflexes, because
that's what's, that's what endup holding the brain back. So we
need to kind of unleash thebrain and get rid of that. So there
(19:36):
are different ways ofstimulating the reflexes and bringing
them out and bringing them onso that they will go away. And then
there are also exercises thatwe do to allow the child to be able
to move their body in morecomplex ways and improve motor coordination
and balance and muscle tone.And this helps to literally help
(19:58):
them create maps in theirbrain of where their body is and
how to move their body and howto feel their body and how to control
their body. And then thatallows them to get more in touch
with their emotions and readthem all on other people so that
they can socialize in a morenormal and typical way. It may help
them to be able to speak or beable to understand or be able to
(20:19):
read better, but then we needto target specific cognitive skills
in one side or the other. Wealso look at diet and nutrition because
this is often impacted, eventhough it isn't the source of the
problem. Many people hearabout things like leaky gut or inflammation
or neuroinflammation, and allof that is a part, but it's not the
(20:42):
root cause. That's a secondarybyproduct of this developmental delay
and imbalance in the brain. Sothere's a lot of different things
that we can do to be able tocorrect this imbalance.
From what you just said, itsounds like a holistic approach in
terms of the treatment method,but it does not involve medication.
(21:03):
So what do you say to parentswho may be listening to or watching
this interview, who say, I'vegone far down a road where I was
prescribed A, B, C and D formy child. It has made things worse,
it's made things better,whatever that now they're hearing
you say that medication is notnecessary and that essentially the
(21:24):
root cause probably hasn'tbeen dealt with effectively if medication
is being used.
Yeah, and I think I'm not, youknow, again, we're not against medication.
Many of the children, if notmost of them, and adults that we
work with come in and they'reon medication and that medication
may be helpful to manage theirsymptoms. But I think everybody realizes
(21:46):
it. You know, nobody's outthere saying that, you know, medication
is the cure for ADHD or forOCD or it is helpful for managing
symptoms, but it's notaddressing the root problem. And
so I think what everybodywould, would want is the root solution.
And if we can deal with thateffectively, then the medication
(22:09):
doesn't become necessaryanymore. It. So it may be helpful.
And in some kids, like forinstance, kids with adhd, when they
have something like Ritalin,if they really significantly do better,
that is almost a clearindication that there's the right
hemisphere delay. Right. Sodiagnostically it has some benefit.
(22:31):
But even the largest studyever done on Ritalin and adhd, which
is one of the largest studiesever done on medication, was a 20
year study, showed that themedication was only effective really
within the first 14 months,and then after that the effectiveness
went down. And again, theylooked at a study with, you know,
(22:53):
hundreds of kids using Ritalinand not using, using ritalin, all
with ADHD, and it showed thatafter 20 years, that there was no
difference, that basicallythere was no benefit to the medication,
meaning those kids didn't dobetter in school, or, you know, function
better, or, you know, weren'temotionally better. There wasn't
any significant difference inthe symptoms. The only thing was
(23:16):
that medication, the kids thatwere medicated tended to be shorter
on average, and that was theonly difference. So it doesn't have
any long term change orbenefit. I mean, that's pretty clear.
And so it's not thatmedication is bad or anything like
that. It's just, it's notaddressing the core problem if it
(23:36):
helps manage symptoms. And itmight even help us, as we're working
with the child initially, tohelp us manage them better in the
treatment process so we canget them to do things that they may
not be able to do if they'reso hyperactive or so super ocd. But
the idea is that if we'readdressing the core issue, that they
(24:00):
may not need medication downthe road. And that's what we see
the majority of the time.
In the time that youdiscovered your son may have adhd,
in the time you've beenresearching and digging and pouring
over all this information overthe last three decades, the evolution
and advancements in brainscience have been quite profound.
(24:20):
What would you say has beenthe biggest advancement in terms
of how it relates to, to whatyou do and the treatment and the
patients that you treat?
Yeah, you know, in the 90s,Bill Clinton declared the 90s the
Decade of the brain. And allof this brain research really came
out in the, in the beginningof the 90s, and it really had started
(24:43):
in the late 80s and a lot ofnew technology to look at brain imaging
in real time. Before that,things like fmr, MRI and SPECT scans
and PET scans and reallysophisticated EEG or qeeg, it didn't
exist. And so we had to assumea lot of things about what was actually
happening in the brain. And alot of the assumption was that there
(25:06):
must be like an injurysomewhere in the brain or damage
or a lesion. Once we were ableto really look at the brain in real
time, it was apparent that inmost of these mental or developmental
issues, there wasn't actuallyany injury or damage in the brain.
And that there was a problemwith what we call functional connectivity,
that the way the braincommunicates and connects and the
(25:31):
development of networks andthe development of the way networks
build and the way that theyend up interacting and integrating
and what they do and thedevelopment of the technology from
there, even like in Our officenow we'll do what's called a qeeg,
where really it's verysophisticated, where we can look
(25:51):
at the brain in real time andmeasure brainwaves and actually look
at that from a 3D image. Andwe can do that right in our clinic,
where, you know, 20 years agoyou couldn't do something like that
in that way. And so with that,it's gained, we've gained a tremendous
understanding of the way thebrain works, the way it functions
and the nature of theseissues. The only problem is that,
(26:16):
you know, you have to have areally good understanding of neuroanatomy
and functional neuroanatomy,meaning the way the brain works and
the way it functions. And, andthere, there aren't a lot of people
out there that really spend alot of time studying that and that,
you know, some people thatreally do understand it may do research.
Clinicians typically don'tunderstand it that well. So, you
(26:39):
know, that's where I'vededicated my life over 30 years,
both as a really high levelresearcher, but also as a clinician,
to really merge those thingstogether. And now a lot of the information
that we're getting really isnew information on how the immune
system and the autonomicsystem and the brain work together.
(27:00):
And this kind ofneuroimmunology piece, which is a
really big, big thing,understanding that and understanding
the way it works. So I thinkthat's really the biggest advancements,
but being able to then turnthat into some sort of clinical program,
what does that mean for apatient? How do they present and
then what can we do to changeit and how can we measure it? What
(27:22):
we do and what I've taught anddeveloped is something called functional
neuroscience or functionalneurology, meaning that we want to
have measure, we want tomeasure these functions. We're not
just looking to managesymptoms, we're not just looking
to manage behaviors. We'relooking to address the core issue
and understanding the rootproblem. And I think right now, I
(27:46):
think our lab and what we do,I think we're at the forefront of
that, that we understand itbetter than I think almost anybody
and really have turned it intoclinical solutions to really impact
people. Now.
One of the things youmentioned, there certainly are the
patients that you see everyday and at a very granular level.
We're talking, talking aboutspecial needs and conditions that
(28:09):
can tear families apart, youknow, tear couples apart, completely
over undermine family lifebecause they're searching for answers
that they may not havereceived on their child. What would
you Say to a family in thatsituation who has maybe gone down
a road or maybe just startingon the road in terms of what should
(28:31):
be their first next step.
You know, you put that in away that I don't think anybody's
ever put it before, but itmade so much sense. You said that
they're being torn apartbecause they're searching for answers
that they're not getting. Andyou know, you're so right about that.
Actually, you know, that isreally a big issue about what's going
(28:52):
on. I'm sorry about that, butyou're right. Like, 85% of families
with a kid with autism end indivorce. And a lot of it is because,
you know, it's very difficultand the parents themselves really
go through a lot of trauma andit's. And really they're not getting
anybody explaining anything tothem. Then. I mean, the first question
(29:16):
I ask anybody, and we seepeople from all over the world on
any given day, like I had, myfirst three people today were from
Serbia, Italy and from Brazil,right? I mean, they come here from
all over the world. And thereason why they do that is they're
not getting any answers wherethey come from. And the first question
I asked them, has anybodytried to explain to you what's happening
(29:39):
in your child's brain? And theanswer is always no, they didn't
say anything about that. Andthen I usually ask them, why do you
think that is? And they'resmart enough to know that. They say,
well, they probably don't knowwhat the problem is. And I said,
that's right. So if you don'tknow what the problem is, you really
don't really know what to doabout it either. And so, you know,
(30:02):
I think that, that trying togive them real answers is really
important because when they'renot getting answers and it, it just
fuels frustration, it doesnothing to change it. Again, they're
just trying to manage thingsand it's difficult. And you know,
and it's expensive. Obviously,the, any treatment, especially the
(30:23):
most innovative treatments orare very expensive. And it puts a
lot of strain on the familyand on the marriage and it's very
difficult. So for me, that'swhy searching for the real answers
and being able to relate thatto people, that's why I've written
books. That's why DisconnectedKids. You know, my book is in its
third edition now and it's oneof the best selling books of all
(30:45):
time in this genre and hasbeen translated into 18 languages
because it's directed towardsexperience, explaining to the parent
what is happening and puttingthe tools of how to change it in
their hands. So you say to me,what's the first thing they should
do? They should get that book.And I don't want to sound like it's
self promotional, but I'm justsaying that it is really, I think,
(31:08):
the best book that's beenwritten that explains what's actually
happening in the child brain,gives the parent the ability to assess
their own child and actuallygives them tools to start to make
a change in their house rightaway in a comprehensive way. And
we get people, you know, thereason why the book is so popular
(31:28):
is because some people justuse the book alone and get great
results. So for me, reallyunderstanding what the problem is,
getting the answers thatthey're searching for and maybe diminishing
some of that frustration andanger and being able to focus it
on some hope and give peoplesome hope. Hope, because that's what,
you know, most people, it'sjust really taken away from them
(31:51):
right from the beginning.They're told there's nothing you're
going to be able to do aboutthis. Just start looking for an institution
or a home for your child,which is horrible.
We only have a couple ofminutes left. But I did want to ask
you if you could illustrate,paint a picture for us in terms of
the outcomes and theimprovements that you have seen with
(32:12):
your patients over the years,the children in particular, who have
completed your program.
Yeah, well, there's twosituations. One is we have the actual
research that we've published.So we have published that where we've
done experimental research. Ihave done basically the only really
large randomized age matchcontrol, double blind study looking
(32:36):
at retained reflexes inchildren, adolescents and adults
with autism. And we've beenable to show that in even 12 weeks
with the right type ofactivities, that we've been able
to show dramatic changes inbrain imaging and in neuropsychological
tests and in the reduction ofthe reflexes themselves. And that
(33:01):
translates into improvedbehavior, improved language, improved
immune function, digestion. Wealso have outcomes that we produced
from my practice and from mycenters where we've shown different
outcomes. Like for instance,one of the first studies we did many
years ago was looking at kidswith ADHD. And we were able to show
(33:24):
that in three months, 80% ofthe kids that were initially diagnosed
with behavioral scales ofhaving ADHD in 12 weeks, they no
longer really fit thatcriteria. So we have outcomes data
that's been published. But inmy individual practice here especially,
(33:45):
we work with really some ofthe most complicated issues. And
we work with all different agegroups and so statistically we're
compiling this data, but it'shard to give a general because there's
all different variations andthere's many different factors. You
know, how well the people areinstituting a lot of the home programs
(34:07):
or the activities and youknow, the level of the imbalance,
the age of the child, whatelse is going on? Is there any injury
in the brain? So there's manydifferent factors, but for the most
part in the vast majority ofkids that and people that we work
with, you know, within, let'ssay kids that are non speaking, usually
(34:27):
within the first year, 80% ofthose kids start to speak at some
level, if not some that werespeaking at a lower level, really
speak at a much more typicallevel, which is pretty remarkable.
You know, we're able to getmany of these kids that are not speaking
and that's really the bulk ofour patients right now is really
(34:49):
working with and understandingthe non speaking autistic individual.
I think it's the most checkchallenging. I think I understand
it as well as anybody and Iknow that the results we get are
better than anything else outthere. And you know, again, in most
of those kids there aredramatic changes even within the
first couple of weeks. I meanthey start feeling their body, they
(35:10):
start changing the way theyeat, they start, you know, reducing
their anger and theirfrustration and their stimming and
ticking behavior. But, but ittakes a while. This isn't going to
happen overnight. We'reworking with these kids for at least
a year to really get, youknow, some significant changes. But
we do get significant changeson almost all of them.
(35:30):
We only have about 30 seconds.But I did want to ask you, you set
down this path in large partto address what was happening with
your eldest son. How is he doing?
He's doing great. He'sactually, you know, again, all my
kids had different issues andall of them are uniquely gifted.
And that's what I want parentsto know, that if a child has an emot
balance, it almost alwaysstarts out because they have areas
(35:53):
of their brain are strongerthan most people. And you know, my
son is a builder and an artistand his spatial awareness is incredible.
His visual spatial skills. So,you know, that's that he's doing
great.
Dr. Robert Melillo, thank youso much for your time and for your
insight today, author ofDisconnected Kids, clinical clinician
(36:13):
and researcher. We reallyappreciate it.
Thank you. To learn more abouttoday's podcast, guest.
And topic as well as otherparenting themes, visit whereparentstalk.com.
Foreign welcome to the WhereParents Talk podcast. We help grow
better parents throughscience, evidence and the lived experience
of other parents. Learn how tobetter navigate the mental.
And physical health of yourtween teen.
Or young adult through provenexpert advice. Here's your host,
(00:23):
Leanne Castellino. Welcome toWhere Parents Talk. My name is Lianne
Castelino. Our guest today isa clinician, researcher and professor.
Dr. Robert Melillo is aninternationally recognized expert
in brain development andneurological disorders affecting
children and adults. He's alsoa best selling author and founder
(00:47):
of the Melillo Method, whichconnects brain function and behavior
and overall health withoutmedication. Dr. Mellillo has helped
children and familiesstruggling with ADHD, autism, OCD,
anxiety and otherdevelopmental challenges for over
30 years. And he's also afather of three adult children. Dr.
(01:10):
Melillo joins us today fromNew York City. Thank you so much
for taking the time.
Well, thank you. It's really apleasure to be here. Thank you.
This is a large topic. This isa topic that affects many families.
And I wonder if you wouldstart by setting the table for us
in terms of what are youseeing in your practice with respect
(01:31):
to the number of families whohave children with special needs.
Yeah, I think, and we've beenhearing a lot about this, I think
in the news of late, thatthere is actually this essentially
epidemic rise of childhoodneurodevelopmental disorders that
really started about 30 yearsago, around the early 80s is when
(01:53):
we started seeing a lot ofthese rises of these issues. And
it's only been reallyaccelerating. And it involves all
different types ofneurodevelopmental issues. And because
it's been going on for 30years, we kind of also see it on
the adult mental health sidethat it's really all interrelated.
But there's clearly anincrease in the number of individuals
(02:18):
and number of children thatare being born and that have a diagnosis
of a disability. It's not justbecause we're recognizing it earlier
or we're diagnosing it betteror because of diagnostic substitution.
All of those things are partof the increase and all of that is
happening. But really thestatistics show that only about 50%
(02:42):
of the increase that we'veseen, for instance, from 30 years
ago, autism was 1 in 10,000,where now it's 1 in 31 as of last
week. If you look at thatincrease, only about 50% of that
increase at most could beattributed to better recognition,
(03:02):
early diagnosis, diagnosticsubstitution, or any of those factors.
That means that 50% or more ofthat increase is unexplained by any
of that. And that means thatwe can. We have to assume that that
means that that's an actualincrease in the number of people.
And so, you know, we do seethis rise and it is increasing and
(03:26):
it's becoming more and moreand more each year.
Now you have been in thisspace over the course of that time.
We're talking about 30 yearsand a little bit more. Can you tell
us what first inspired you togo down the road of childhood neurodevelopment?
Yeah, initially I, you know,as a clinician, I was just very interested
(03:48):
in neurology and in the brainand in rehabilitation. So I wanted
to combine rehabilitation andneurology in a way to, you know,
kind of create like this wayof using almost like exercises to
help train the brain and to dothings to help people with those
(04:09):
types of issues. And I wasinitially working mostly with, you
know, teens or adults, but myown child was diagnosed with ADHD
at a certain point, my oldestson. And I was already teaching clinical
neurology because I had gottena subspecialty in neurology and rehabilitation,
and I was teaching it anddoing research in that area. And
(04:33):
so I knew a lot about thebrain, I knew a lot about neurology.
And when my son was diagnosed,my first class question in my head
was, well, what is that? Imean, what. I didn't know what ADHD
was, but my first thought,well, what's actually what's happening
in the brain? And I went outto people and tried to ask them that
(04:54):
I thought would know othercolleagues of mine that work with
children, and no one couldanswer that question. And so I realized
I needed to kind of look intoit myself. I felt that there had
to be an answer, but no onewas really clear onto what. What
that was. And so that's whereI spe spent, you know, the better
part of 10 years reallyresearching it continuously. Eventually
(05:16):
I put it into a textbookcalled Neurobehavioral Disorders
of Childhood and EvolutionaryPerspective, which is, you know,
it's still a best selling booktoday, and we're actually working
on the second edition of it 20years later. But that really, you
know, then from there it was,how do we change it? Like, what are
(05:37):
we now? Once understandingwhat the problem was, as I was doing
that, I was also looking atdifferent ways to intervene and help
my own son and other children.And along the way I developed, you
know, methods that were reallyvery, very effective. And I've just
been working on that andtrying to perfect that ever Since.
(05:58):
A lot of what you've done thenis really rooted in understanding
the imbalance in the brain,what causes that. So can you take
us through what a functionaldevelopmental imbalance in the brain
is, and how does that impact achild's daily behavior or their lear?
Yeah, well, when I, you know,first, when my son was. Had the issue
(06:21):
and when I started looking atit first, I wanted to understand
what it was like, where didthese symptoms come from? And, and
one of the things I cameacross early on in the research was
this concept of unevenness ofskills meant that kids with ADHD
or other neurodevelopmentaldisorders like autism or Tourette's
(06:42):
or, you know, dyslexia, thatthey weren't delayed or behind in
everything. In fact, they wereoften exceptional at certain things,
that they were really good atcertain things, and then struggled
with others. So right from thebeginning, with a rehab mentality,
right from the beginning, thatsounded like some sort of imbalance
(07:04):
to me. Right? That's kind ofhow I thought about it. And because
in rehab, a lot of what we'retrying to do in physical rehab is
establishing imbalance,imbalance in the body. And so I started
looking into it and reallyunderstood that basically in adhd,
everything that they struggledin was a right hemisphere function,
(07:27):
and everything that they wereexceptional or overactive in was
really a left hemispherefunction. So right from the beginning,
I started looking at that andsaying, wow, this seems to fit this
pattern. And then I startedlooking at everything and then once
I kind of figured out that waswhere a lot of the symptoms were
coming from, then I wanted toknow what. Well, what started it
(07:49):
all? Where did it come from?And it really went back to brain
development. And then a lot ofthis really has fueled me into doing
other degrees. I have a degreein neuropsychology and clinical rehabilitation.
Neuropsychology. I have a PhDin developmental cognitive neuroscience.
I wanted to really understanddevelopment of the brain at the highest
(08:09):
level, to understand whatcould go wrong and to understand
what can we do to change it.Right? Because if you really don't
know what the problem is, youcan't really say what causes it,
and you can't really say whatyou're going to do to change it.
So essentially, the humanbrain is unique in that our brain
is the largest brain per bodysize of any primate. But because
(08:32):
we stand upright, we have thesmallest birth canal. So our brain
has to be very restricted inthe womb. We have to not let it grow
too much. And so when ourbrain, when A human brain is born.
It's very immature. It's onlyabout 20%, 25% of the adult size.
(08:53):
Every other animal has most oftheir brain develop in the womb,
and they're much more furtheralong in their maturity than we are.
It means 75, 80% of our braindevelopment happens outside the womb.
And that's the most importantpart of our development. So anything
(09:13):
that alters that developmentaltrajectory, if we don't hit those
milestones that we're supposedto hit, if we're late or if they're
off or if we skip them, itreally signifies that something is
affecting the way our brain isgrowing and that when we go off in
one direction, in a way, it'swill continue. And the right hemisphere
(09:36):
takes the lead in developmentin the first three years, and then
the left brain comes on forthe next three years. And at the
end of six years, our brainshould be pretty balanced and integrated,
and then it should developfrom there. And the right and left
brain should be very differentfrom one another. So anything that
alters that growth anddevelopment can create this imbalance
(09:58):
where the left brain may comeonline too early and stop right brain
development, or the rightbrain may stay on too long and interfere
with left brain development.And that creates this imbalance,
this developmental imbalancein the brain. And we get overactivity
of certain networks on oneside and underdevelopment and under
(10:19):
activity of the other. Andthat's really where all the symptoms
end up coming from.
So how does a parent thendetect, how does it manifest a brain
imbalance in a child beforethey are formally diagnosed?
Yeah, well, one of the thingsis really paying attention to those
(10:40):
milestones today. It's reallycommon for pediatricians and people
to say, well, it doesn'tmatter. All children develop it their
own way. And crawling isn'teven a milestone anymore. It's completely
wrong. And it just clearlyshows that they don't really understand
(11:01):
how the human brain develops.But we know that looking at those
milestones even before birth,one of my main areas of research
is something called primitivereflexes or neonatal reflexes. These
are these motor reflexes thatwe're born with that are there even
before we're born. And becauseour brain is so immature at birth,
(11:25):
we need to be able to move, tobe able to engage the world around
us, to stimulate the sensesand stimulate the genes that will
build our brain. And we needto be able to move. But the part
of our brain that reallyallows us to move isn't really developed
yet. A horse will run in undertwo hours after being born. Humans
(11:49):
in the best case scenariowon't walk until around 12 months.
So there's a big delay in ourmotor development. But we need to
move. So we're born with thesethings called primitive reflexes
from our brainstem that allowus to move and do things like suck
and root so we can feedourselves. But also they allow us
in the womb to be able to getinto the right position. A baby at
(12:13):
the end of the third trimestershould get into the right position
upside down and backwards anddo it without the cord getting wrapped
around, around their neck. Andthey should be deep enough down in
the birth canal that itinduces the birth process. And if
that's not happening or ifthere's a delay or the child is breach
or the cord is wrapped aroundtheir neck, you have to have to question
(12:35):
why that's not the way it'ssupposed to be. And I believe that
that's because these reflexesaren't really there when they're
supposed to. They're delayedin their, in their appearance and
they're, and the movements arenot happening the way they should
at the time they should. Andthen baby should use these reflexes
to help themselves move downthe birth canal and get themselves
(12:58):
out. If there's a forcepsneeded, if vacuum extraction, if
the child needs extraassistance to get out again, it may
tell us this reflexes aren'tthere. If a baby, the first milestone
outside the womb is a childshould be able to latch on nice and
properly to breastfeed if themother chooses to do that. And you
(13:20):
know, we see 85, 90% of thekids, especially the non speaking
autistic kids, could not latchon. Why? Because usually that rooting
and sucking reflex isn't therewhen it's supposed to be. And then
if they miss that milestone,they usually miss other milestones
or skip them or do it in anunusual way, or drag one leg or don't
(13:44):
or scoot on their butt or doan unusual crawl or skip crawling.
They should go through allthese stages. And at right around
12 months, all children shouldbe able to say a few words. They
should be able to pointclearly and have eye contact and
they should be walking. And ifthey're not, then why? And what we've
(14:07):
been able to show with ourresearch is that if these reflexes
don't come on and they missthese milestones, then these reflexes
are supposed to go away atone, they lead us through that first
year, but then they need to goaway, otherwise they Keep the brain
in a more immature state andthen this can lead to these imbalances.
(14:28):
And so for me, looking atthose early milestones and looking
at even those pre birthmovements and looking at what's happening
at one, and, or, and even if achild is doing that, they should
never regress, right? So weknow that some children seem to be
meeting their milestones, eventhough they use, usually don't really,
but they might be able to walkor talk a bit or point. And then
(14:52):
in the next, you know, sixmonths or a year, they lose that
suddenly or it gradually justgoes away. This is again the emergence
of this imbalance where we seethat left brain comes online too
early and it pushes down thatright brain and that's where we see
a lot of that regressionhappening where a child will lose
a lot of those skills. Andagain we see that those reflexes
(15:15):
are still there. And that'sone of the, one of the root, root
issues.
So when you talk abouthemispheric brain imbalances, firstly,
how many of these conditionsthat we've kind of briefly alluded
to, ADHD, Autism, OCD, etc.Can be directly attributed to these
(15:36):
brain imbalances? And then thesecond part of the question is what
can be done to restore thebalance and is that even possible?
Yeah, all of them are due tothat. Basically everything we see
now, again, there are childrenthat have brain injuries, there are
children that have geneticdisorders like down syndrome, Fragile
(15:57):
X tuberous sclerosis, LandauKleffner syndrome, and then there
are what we call de novomutations that we don't really have
a name for that really show upin the child and aren't present in
the adults. Those are veryrare. When we look at autism, for
instance, we know that thereare some kids that are what we call
syndrome stomach. So thatmeans about 5, maybe 10% of kids
(16:21):
that are labeled with autismreally have a genetic mutation somewhere
like down syndrome or FragileX. And they also have features of
autism, but 95 or 90% don'thave any of those. So what we're
dealing with are children thatdon't have any clear cut genetic
(16:43):
mutation, they don't have anyinjury, and yet they have these pretty
severe developmental issues ordelays. They're not speaking or they're
not looking or they're notpointing or they may have a lot of
immune issues going on. So allof those are essentially a different
(17:04):
type of these imbalances. Thisroot cause is this imbalance, this
delay, this developmentaldelay. And depending on the natural
genetic traits of the child.Like, for instance, we know in autism,
Simon Baron Cohen, one of thetop researchers out of Cambridge
(17:24):
in the 90s, showed that in thefamilies of people with autism, there
were a lot more physicists andmathematicians and engineers. He
also showed that there was alot more people in the finance world
or professional doctors,lawyers, and then also showed that
anywhere where there was acluster of people that work in the
IT industry, like in SiliconValley, you have a very high rate
(17:49):
of autism in those areas. Sowhat does that all have to do? What
are those jobs all have incommon? They all have basically left
brain skills, right peoplethat are uniquely gifted in their
left brain abilities, whereassomething like bipolar or dyslexia,
we know that these are peoplethat have right brain skills, people
(18:11):
that are more gifted, let'ssay creatively or socially or athletically.
They're more likely to havechildren that have dyslexia or bipolar
or learning disabilities orprocessing disorders, things that
are left brain delays. So it'sall of these things are superimposed
(18:32):
on traits and other features,but essentially they're all part
of the same thing, thesefunctional disconnections between
networks. The way to change itis the good news is again, because
there is no genetic mutationand there's no brain injury, we can
change it. We can in manycases completely correct it. And
(18:53):
obviously, the earlier thebetter. But it's never really too
late to also. And the brainhas something called neuroplasticity,
which means it can changedramatically with the right type
of stimulation. So it startswith an evaluation and an assessment
to really identify the natureof the imbalance and where it is,
(19:13):
and whether it's more of righthemisphere networks or left hemisphere
deficit or. And then we puttogether a program that is really
comprehensive because thebrain controls everything. So we
do first, we want to addressthese primitive reflexes, because
that's what's, that's what endup holding the brain back. So we
need to kind of unleash thebrain and get rid of that. So there
(19:36):
are different ways ofstimulating the reflexes and bringing
them out and bringing them onso that they will go away. And then
there are also exercises thatwe do to allow the child to be able
to move their body in morecomplex ways and improve motor coordination
and balance and muscle tone.And this helps to literally help
(19:58):
them create maps in theirbrain of where their body is and
how to move their body and howto feel their body and how to control
their body. And then thatallows them to get more in touch
with their emotions and readthem all on other people so that
they can socialize in a morenormal and typical way. It may help
them to be able to speak or beable to understand or be able to
(20:19):
read better, but then we needto target specific cognitive skills
in one side or the other. Wealso look at diet and nutrition because
this is often impacted, eventhough it isn't the source of the
problem. Many people hearabout things like leaky gut or inflammation
or neuroinflammation, and allof that is a part, but it's not the
(20:42):
root cause. That's a secondarybyproduct of this developmental delay
and imbalance in the brain. Sothere's a lot of different things
that we can do to be able tocorrect this imbalance.
From what you just said, itsounds like a holistic approach in
terms of the treatment method,but it does not involve medication.
(21:03):
So what do you say to parentswho may be listening to or watching
this interview, who say, I'vegone far down a road where I was
prescribed A, B, C and D formy child. It has made things worse,
it's made things better,whatever that now they're hearing
you say that medication is notnecessary and that essentially the
(21:24):
root cause probably hasn'tbeen dealt with effectively if medication
is being used.
Yeah, and I think I'm not, youknow, again, we're not against medication.
Many of the children, if notmost of them, and adults that we
work with come in and they'reon medication and that medication
may be helpful to manage theirsymptoms. But I think everybody realizes
(21:46):
it. You know, nobody's outthere saying that, you know, medication
is the cure for ADHD or forOCD or it is helpful for managing
symptoms, but it's notaddressing the root problem. And
so I think what everybodywould, would want is the root solution.
And if we can deal with thateffectively, then the medication
(22:09):
doesn't become necessaryanymore. It. So it may be helpful.
And in some kids, like forinstance, kids with adhd, when they
have something like Ritalin,if they really significantly do better,
that is almost a clearindication that there's the right
hemisphere delay. Right. Sodiagnostically it has some benefit.
(22:31):
But even the largest studyever done on Ritalin and adhd, which
is one of the largest studiesever done on medication, was a 20
year study, showed that themedication was only effective really
within the first 14 months,and then after that the effectiveness
went down. And again, theylooked at a study with, you know,
(22:53):
hundreds of kids using Ritalinand not using, using ritalin, all
with ADHD, and it showed thatafter 20 years, that there was no
difference, that basicallythere was no benefit to the medication,
meaning those kids didn't dobetter in school, or, you know, function
better, or, you know, weren'temotionally better. There wasn't
any significant difference inthe symptoms. The only thing was
(23:16):
that medication, the kids thatwere medicated tended to be shorter
on average, and that was theonly difference. So it doesn't have
any long term change orbenefit. I mean, that's pretty clear.
And so it's not thatmedication is bad or anything like
that. It's just, it's notaddressing the core problem if it
(23:36):
helps manage symptoms. And itmight even help us, as we're working
with the child initially, tohelp us manage them better in the
treatment process so we canget them to do things that they may
not be able to do if they'reso hyperactive or so super ocd. But
the idea is that if we'readdressing the core issue, that they
(24:00):
may not need medication downthe road. And that's what we see
the majority of the time.
In the time that youdiscovered your son may have adhd,
in the time you've beenresearching and digging and pouring
over all this information overthe last three decades, the evolution
and advancements in brainscience have been quite profound.
(24:20):
What would you say has beenthe biggest advancement in terms
of how it relates to, to whatyou do and the treatment and the
patients that you treat?
Yeah, you know, in the 90s,Bill Clinton declared the 90s the
Decade of the brain. And allof this brain research really came
out in the, in the beginningof the 90s, and it really had started
(24:43):
in the late 80s and a lot ofnew technology to look at brain imaging
in real time. Before that,things like fmr, MRI and SPECT scans
and PET scans and reallysophisticated EEG or qeeg, it didn't
exist. And so we had to assumea lot of things about what was actually
happening in the brain. And alot of the assumption was that there
(25:06):
must be like an injurysomewhere in the brain or damage
or a lesion. Once we were ableto really look at the brain in real
time, it was apparent that inmost of these mental or developmental
issues, there wasn't actuallyany injury or damage in the brain.
And that there was a problemwith what we call functional connectivity,
that the way the braincommunicates and connects and the
(25:31):
development of networks andthe development of the way networks
build and the way that theyend up interacting and integrating
and what they do and thedevelopment of the technology from
there, even like in Our officenow we'll do what's called a qeeg,
where really it's verysophisticated, where we can look
(25:51):
at the brain in real time andmeasure brainwaves and actually look
at that from a 3D image. Andwe can do that right in our clinic,
where, you know, 20 years agoyou couldn't do something like that
in that way. And so with that,it's gained, we've gained a tremendous
understanding of the way thebrain works, the way it functions
and the nature of theseissues. The only problem is that,
(26:16):
you know, you have to have areally good understanding of neuroanatomy
and functional neuroanatomy,meaning the way the brain works and
the way it functions. And, andthere, there aren't a lot of people
out there that really spend alot of time studying that and that,
you know, some people thatreally do understand it may do research.
Clinicians typically don'tunderstand it that well. So, you
(26:39):
know, that's where I'vededicated my life over 30 years,
both as a really high levelresearcher, but also as a clinician,
to really merge those thingstogether. And now a lot of the information
that we're getting really isnew information on how the immune
system and the autonomicsystem and the brain work together.
(27:00):
And this kind ofneuroimmunology piece, which is a
really big, big thing,understanding that and understanding
the way it works. So I thinkthat's really the biggest advancements,
but being able to then turnthat into some sort of clinical program,
what does that mean for apatient? How do they present and
then what can we do to changeit and how can we measure it? What
(27:22):
we do and what I've taught anddeveloped is something called functional
neuroscience or functionalneurology, meaning that we want to
have measure, we want tomeasure these functions. We're not
just looking to managesymptoms, we're not just looking
to manage behaviors. We'relooking to address the core issue
and understanding the rootproblem. And I think right now, I
(27:46):
think our lab and what we do,I think we're at the forefront of
that, that we understand itbetter than I think almost anybody
and really have turned it intoclinical solutions to really impact
people. Now.
One of the things youmentioned, there certainly are the
patients that you see everyday and at a very granular level.
We're talking, talking aboutspecial needs and conditions that
(28:09):
can tear families apart, youknow, tear couples apart, completely
over undermine family lifebecause they're searching for answers
that they may not havereceived on their child. What would
you Say to a family in thatsituation who has maybe gone down
a road or maybe just startingon the road in terms of what should
(28:31):
be their first next step.
You know, you put that in away that I don't think anybody's
ever put it before, but itmade so much sense. You said that
they're being torn apartbecause they're searching for answers
that they're not getting. Andyou know, you're so right about that.
Actually, you know, that isreally a big issue about what's going
(28:52):
on. I'm sorry about that, butyou're right. Like, 85% of families
with a kid with autism end indivorce. And a lot of it is because,
you know, it's very difficultand the parents themselves really
go through a lot of trauma andit's. And really they're not getting
anybody explaining anything tothem. Then. I mean, the first question
(29:16):
I ask anybody, and we seepeople from all over the world on
any given day, like I had, myfirst three people today were from
Serbia, Italy and from Brazil,right? I mean, they come here from
all over the world. And thereason why they do that is they're
not getting any answers wherethey come from. And the first question
I asked them, has anybodytried to explain to you what's happening
(29:39):
in your child's brain? And theanswer is always no, they didn't
say anything about that. Andthen I usually ask them, why do you
think that is? And they'resmart enough to know that. They say,
well, they probably don't knowwhat the problem is. And I said,
that's right. So if you don'tknow what the problem is, you really
don't really know what to doabout it either. And so, you know,
(30:02):
I think that, that trying togive them real answers is really
important because when they'renot getting answers and it, it just
fuels frustration, it doesnothing to change it. Again, they're
just trying to manage thingsand it's difficult. And you know,
and it's expensive. Obviously,the, any treatment, especially the
(30:23):
most innovative treatments orare very expensive. And it puts a
lot of strain on the familyand on the marriage and it's very
difficult. So for me, that'swhy searching for the real answers
and being able to relate thatto people, that's why I've written
books. That's why DisconnectedKids. You know, my book is in its
third edition now and it's oneof the best selling books of all
(30:45):
time in this genre and hasbeen translated into 18 languages
because it's directed towardsexperience, explaining to the parent
what is happening and puttingthe tools of how to change it in
their hands. So you say to me,what's the first thing they should
do? They should get that book.And I don't want to sound like it's
self promotional, but I'm justsaying that it is really, I think,
(31:08):
the best book that's beenwritten that explains what's actually
happening in the child brain,gives the parent the ability to assess
their own child and actuallygives them tools to start to make
a change in their house rightaway in a comprehensive way. And
we get people, you know, thereason why the book is so popular
(31:28):
is because some people justuse the book alone and get great
results. So for me, reallyunderstanding what the problem is,
getting the answers thatthey're searching for and maybe diminishing
some of that frustration andanger and being able to focus it
on some hope and give peoplesome hope. Hope, because that's what,
you know, most people, it'sjust really taken away from them
(31:51):
right from the beginning.They're told there's nothing you're
going to be able to do aboutthis. Just start looking for an institution
or a home for your child,which is horrible.
We only have a couple ofminutes left. But I did want to ask
you if you could illustrate,paint a picture for us in terms of
the outcomes and theimprovements that you have seen with
(32:12):
your patients over the years,the children in particular, who have
completed your program.
Yeah, well, there's twosituations. One is we have the actual
research that we've published.So we have published that where we've
done experimental research. Ihave done basically the only really
large randomized age matchcontrol, double blind study looking
(32:36):
at retained reflexes inchildren, adolescents and adults
with autism. And we've beenable to show that in even 12 weeks
with the right type ofactivities, that we've been able
to show dramatic changes inbrain imaging and in neuropsychological
tests and in the reduction ofthe reflexes themselves. And that
(33:01):
translates into improvedbehavior, improved language, improved
immune function, digestion. Wealso have outcomes that we produced
from my practice and from mycenters where we've shown different
outcomes. Like for instance,one of the first studies we did many
years ago was looking at kidswith ADHD. And we were able to show
(33:24):
that in three months, 80% ofthe kids that were initially diagnosed
with behavioral scales ofhaving ADHD in 12 weeks, they no
longer really fit thatcriteria. So we have outcomes data
that's been published. But inmy individual practice here especially,
(33:45):
we work with really some ofthe most complicated issues. And
we work with all different agegroups and so statistically we're
compiling this data, but it'shard to give a general because there's
all different variations andthere's many different factors. You
know, how well the people areinstituting a lot of the home programs
(34:07):
or the activities and youknow, the level of the imbalance,
the age of the child, whatelse is going on? Is there any injury
in the brain? So there's manydifferent factors, but for the most
part in the vast majority ofkids that and people that we work
with, you know, within, let'ssay kids that are non speaking, usually
(34:27):
within the first year, 80% ofthose kids start to speak at some
level, if not some that werespeaking at a lower level, really
speak at a much more typicallevel, which is pretty remarkable.
You know, we're able to getmany of these kids that are not speaking
and that's really the bulk ofour patients right now is really
(34:49):
working with and understandingthe non speaking autistic individual.
I think it's the most checkchallenging. I think I understand
it as well as anybody and Iknow that the results we get are
better than anything else outthere. And you know, again, in most
of those kids there aredramatic changes even within the
first couple of weeks. I meanthey start feeling their body, they
(35:10):
start changing the way theyeat, they start, you know, reducing
their anger and theirfrustration and their stimming and
ticking behavior. But, but ittakes a while. This isn't going to
happen overnight. We'reworking with these kids for at least
a year to really get, youknow, some significant changes. But
we do get significant changeson almost all of them.
(35:30):
We only have about 30 seconds.But I did want to ask you, you set
down this path in large partto address what was happening with
your eldest son. How is he doing?
He's doing great. He'sactually, you know, again, all my
kids had different issues andall of them are uniquely gifted.
And that's what I want parentsto know, that if a child has an emot
balance, it almost alwaysstarts out because they have areas
(35:53):
of their brain are strongerthan most people. And you know, my
son is a builder and an artistand his spatial awareness is incredible.
His visual spatial skills. So,you know, that's that he's doing
great.
Dr. Robert Melillo, thank youso much for your time and for your
insight today, author ofDisconnected Kids, clinical clinician
(36:13):
and researcher. We reallyappreciate it.
Thank you. To learn more abouttoday's podcast, guest.
And topic as well as otherparenting themes, visit whereparentstalk.com.
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