Don't Let Life Happen To You

If you are anything like me, you can likely point to 3-5 decisions in your life that you are putting off for many reasons – one may include, what you think others will think about you and your decision.  This is a guide on how to beat that desire and make life happen – instead of letting life happen to you.

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Welcome to Where We've Gotten So Far – follow our progress real-time while we follow yours! All our thoughts and actions are real time and happening at a moments notice.

My name is Matt – I used to be fat, depressed, and addicted to porn. Now, I am 23, an associate at a premier venture capital firm, and avid runner, swimmer, and lifter. I am now a fit, porn-free, and incredibly results-driven entrepreneur who wants to help others do the same thing!

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Episode Transcript

Unknown (00:00):
I just got done having dinner with one of my good
friends who I met throughthrough business, and we're
talking about decisions,decisions we make every day,
about life changing situations.
All right, so many of us, wereach a place in our life where

(00:21):
we're not successful. We want tobe successful. We realize we're
not and some of us get defeated.
Some of us feel defeated,because the only way you can be
defeated is if you feel it, thechampions do not accept defeat.

(00:45):
Winners don't accept defeat. Imean, really the the act of
winning in business and in life,much like people like Alex
hormozi and others say, is thatwinning is staying in the game
isn't winning the game. So assoon as you quit, you lose. And
if, if you're in the game, ifyou stay in the game, if you

(01:06):
stay in life, then you arewinning. You have won until you
decide to quit, and that's whenyou lose. So a lot of people in
life, they let life happen tothem. And something I was
communicating to my friend was,very few people take life by the
reins. Very few people look attheir situation consciously

(01:32):
decide what they want to happenand make it happen. And I'd say
for the majority of people, theyare armchair decision makers,
right? And it's, it's attractivebecause, let's just say,
something happens during yourcareer. Well, it was the market.
I got laid off because of themarket. There's a there was a
recession. Well, that's, that'sletting life happen to you,

(01:55):
right? That's not taking life bythe reins. And one of the
attractive parts about doing soby by blaming life, is that
you're outsourcing guilt. You'resaying, life happened to me.
It's life's fault, and it'sbecause of life that this
happened. It's not my fault, youknow? It's the markets fault,
right? Life happened, not Ihappened. And I think the most

(02:19):
successful people in the worldand the happiest people in the
world, they take ownership, andthey change, they work to change
their lives, and that's takinglife by the reins. So I would
encourage you all to do that.
You're out. You're probablyplaying off decisions in your
life, and if you put off adecision, it's the same as
letting it happen to you, right?

(02:39):
And a lot of us make decisions,and decisions meaning we don't
make decisions even that's adecision, and the reason we do
so is that we fear otherpeople's opinion of us. We say,
what are they? What are theygoing to think when I'm making
500 bucks a day, and all myfriends are wearing Rolexes,

(03:02):
right, making 500k and theyalready have carried interest
and all this crazy stuff. Whatare they going to think when I'm
pulling up in a kind of a beatercar for a few years, until I get
things figured out? Because I'mtaking a bet on myself. So many
of us, we don't even know whatwe're affected by. This fear. We
put ourselves in this box, thisdecision making box is, well,

(03:26):
how do I please others, right?
And it's no wonder why we lookat our lives when we say we're
living in service of things.
We're living in service ofothers, right? A lot of us buy
quote, unquote, assets likehouses and cars and
relationships via things sofriends that only come when

(03:48):
there's something to do, right,friends that you can't rely on
to console you. But rather, hey,we're going to amakase. Oh, I'll
go to that. Right? So a lot ofus build these things detracting
from us, and ultimately, we'rein service. We're working 1015,

(04:08):
20 hours a day in service ofothers, instead of us and our
family, right? And there's agood form of selflessness. Hey,
I want to treat my friendsbecause they've they've been
amazing to me, and that theyhelped me when I was down. But
then there's another thing Iwant to impress these people,

(04:28):
and that's when selfless becomesselfish, that's living in
service of others. So so manytimes, we're making decisions
based off of what others thinkof us. But the catch is, we're
making decisions based of whatwe think others will think of
us. So there's us, and thenthere's other people. Those are

(04:50):
two entities, and then that,then there's what others think
of us and what we think that is.
So it's what we've. Think otherswill think of us. That's a third
entity. It's it's no one. No oneis that entity. That's a fake
thing. It's some nebulousconstruct of society that
you've, you know, erected inyour mind that you are in

(05:13):
service to. You're in serviceof, this ethereal being that is
the supposed thoughts of others,and we're living every day.
We're making decisions about ourfuture, for our children, for
ourselves, in service of thisthing. What is it? I don't know.
Can you define it? Is it thecollective effervescence? I live

(05:38):
for yourself, live for yourfamily, live in service of
others, and make sure it's thecorrect form of selflessness
which is out of desire to help,desire to encourage and not not
the desire to impress. And so Iencourage you to take life by

(06:05):
the reins. Don't let life happento you. Life is too short to
roll with the punches. You gottahit back, and you gotta plan
your hits. I'm gonna do this.
I'm gonna do these three things.
I know you're probably puttingoff three to five big decisions
in your life because you'refearful. I'm probably doing the

(06:27):
same thing, which is, I'm gonnado this right after the call and
make decisions, because nodecision is a decision. So make
the hard decision, make the hardchoice, complete what needs to
be done, because you'll thankyourself because you're making
life, you're making your life,you're constructing your life,

(06:49):
and not letting the pieces fallwhere they may, not letting life
happen to You. You happen tolife. Life forms around your
decisions, not the other wayaround. Don't be passive, be
proactive. And that goes forwork, that goes for family, that

(07:12):
goes for relationships,everything. Don't wait for your
significant other to return youraffection, right? Keep
showering, keep showering theaffection, the selflessness, the
acts of service, right? Don'twait for your business to

(07:32):
generate revenue. Go and get thesale, get the revenue, make it
happen. The keys are in yourhands. That's the, really, the
greatest gift. God gives us Hisautonomy. And a lot of us like
to eschew the autonomy becausewe can blame him. We're
ultimately blaming God when weblame our circumstance, and

(07:57):
that's one of the biggestdisrespects of his massive gift
that He's given us, which isautonomy and agency over our
lives, the ability to act, theability to do evil as the Same
as the ability to do good, theability to make decisions, and

(08:22):
also the ability to make thedecision not to choose, which is
in itself, another decision. Sothat's the thought for today.
Keep pushing. It's hard. Youknow every day is a push, and
there are some days where it'seasier than others, and some

(08:47):
days you feel fulfilled, othersyou don't. But I encourage you
to thank God for the littlethings. Thank you for the road
you're driving home. Thank youfor thank him for the gift of
autonomy, the gift that He'sgiven us, to be able to take

(09:09):
life by the reins and make alife that of our choosing, make
a life of his choosing. We'renot automatons, so think about
that this week and try to makethose decisions, make those
decisions that you're paying offand that's it. Thanks, guys bye.