December 23, 2024 • 38 mins
In this episode, Daniel welcomes Melodie, whose adventurous spirit led her from the UK to New Zealand. Melodie shares her story of moving to New Zealand on a working holiday visa and navigating life with a French and Swiss background. They discuss the ease of moving to New Zealand, the emotional ties that make a place feel like home, and the challenges of building a sense of community as an expat. Melodie also reflects on the different friendships she has formed and the emotional significance of her childhood home in Switzerland. Their conversation highlights the complexities of defining 'home' when living in multiple countries.
00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome
00:46 Melodie's Journey to New Zealand
04:03 Life in Switzerland and Becoming Swiss
10:49 University Life in the UK
16:06 Finding Home Across Continents
19:01 Nostalgia and Changing Perceptions of Home
20:07 The Emotional Connection to Home
21:12 Challenges of Moving Back to Switzerland
26:27 The Concept of Home Ownership
31:06 Building a New Family Network Abroad
36:59 Concluding Thoughts and Farewells
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Daniel Rock (00:05):
Welcome to
Melodie (00:06):
Okay.
Daniel Rock (00:23):
She has a lovely partner and two cats and she
tells me she would have more,but her landlord has two as a
maximum in her contract.
she loves traveling, reading,traveling.
Building Lego, watching TVshows, exploring the Auckland
region with walks and buyingmore quirky lamps and handbags
than she can store.
Welcome Melody.
And I hope I didn't butcher yourlast name too much.
(00:44):
My French is a little out ofdate.
Um, don't you tell us a littlebit about your journey and sort
of how you ended up in NewZealand?
Melodie (00:52):
Thanks, Daniel.
Um, yes.
Um, so I've literally, it was avery random way that I ended up
in New Zealand.
Um, when I started back in theUK, um, I had a good friend
called, um, Alvin and we sort ofkept in touch, like, Very
(01:12):
sporadically, like, you know,and it's part of those people
that you might not talk to themfor years but then you run into
them and it's like you've never,um, left each other.
And, um, I was sending him likea Happy New Year sort of message
and then he just sort of reachedout and was like, two months
later, like, Oh, Happy New Year!And I'm like, okay, and he was
like, Oh, I'm in New Zealand.
(01:33):
It's amazing.
Like, I'm doing a workingholiday visa.
Like, you should totally come.
And I was, I was going throughmy crisis of 25 of like, you
know, what am I doing with mylife?
This is not what I thought itwould be and all that.
And, um, pretty much justthought like, yeah, actually I
totally should, I should just goto New Zealand.
(01:55):
So I started like thinking aboutit and he was like, Oh, when you
want to, when you've got like aFrench passport, it's really
easy.
Like you can do it online.
And so I did that.
It took me like four days orsomething.
And then bam, I just had aworking holiday visit.
I was like, wow, this is crazy
Daniel Rock (02:12):
Yeah, I think New Zealand bureaucracy certainly a
few years ago is a littledifferent.
I remember when I did my workand all that visa and I sent the
application form in and forgotto put the passport in the
envelope.
And I can imagine if, like, theBritish or the American
embassies got that, they'd justbe, like, sending it back.
I got a phone call from the guyat the New Zealand embassy in
Haymarket or Consulate, as itwas, Hey, can you pop down and
(02:32):
bring your passport so I can putthe stamp in it?
I can't imagine many othercountries handling it that way.
Melodie (02:37):
goodness.
No, yeah, it was, um, it'spretty, yeah, pretty chill back
then.
And then, yeah, so I just sortof like decided, okay, let's do
this.
And I thought, okay, I'll.
I was doing like a lot of inter,I had like been doing internship
for two and a half years indifferent places.
It was just going nowhere.
Um, but the current bosses Ihave back then, they were really
(03:00):
cool.
And I've sort of tell them, thisis what I want to do.
And they're like, right.
And this sort of adapted like mycontract.
Um, they even told me like, Oh,you know, if you want to still
work remote for us to like helpyou settle, like that was very
lovely.
Um, I just tell my parents,obviously, I mean, I was, um, I
had moved to live back with themand.
(03:20):
I'd always remember because mymom said she was like, she's
like, oh, that's very exciting.
But like, she was a bit sad andI was like, oh, what's going on?
And she was like, well, you'regoing to meet a Kiwi.
You're going to get married.
You're going to have a baby.
I'm never going to see youagain.
I'm 25 thinking like, you know,just going on a holiday.
Daniel Rock (03:39):
Yeah.
Melodie (03:41):
I'll be back.
And here I am nine years later,still in New Zealand.
So I guess she's not, not toowrong.
Um,
Daniel Rock (03:50):
It
Melodie (03:50):
yeah.
Daniel Rock (03:51):
that way with people.
I've meant to go for a year andend up there for 20, nearly 23.
So yeah, I think
Melodie (03:57):
It definitely feels that way.
Daniel Rock (04:00):
So
Melodie (04:00):
A lot of friends.
That's what I heard.
Daniel Rock (04:03):
see you are French, but grew up in Switzerland.
Tell me a little bit sort ofabout your, that background as
well.
Melodie (04:09):
Yeah.
So, um, both my parents areFrench, so that just makes me
French.
Um, and then, um, but I was.
They both sort of lived, um, andworked close to Geneva and, um,
I was born there and, um, butSwitzerland is not a country
where if you're born there, youautomatically like, um, got the
(04:30):
nationality.
It's more, it's a bit morecomplex.
You either marry a Swiss or youhave to have, um, your parents
to be Swiss or to have been bornin Switzerland and back then it
might have changed but back thenit was like you had to when you
reached 13 years um of after youbeing born there and having
(04:51):
lived there this whole time youcould apply to become Swiss um
Which I didn't really know backthen, I didn't really care, to
be honest.
Um, because it didn't reallyaffect me in any way.
Um, but then like, when I was16, my mum was like, Oh, you
should probably do it.
Like, it'd be good, you know,for you to have like, the, the
Swiss passport.
And I, I already felt Swiss aswell.
(05:11):
Like, because I've been, that'sthe way I've always been.
Um, grew up.
So yeah, I had to do that, whichwas quite the adventure in
itself.
Um, back then they reallychecked, like, if you were, I
guess, integrated, like, youknow, did you have friends?
Like, did you, um, as a 16 yearold, I guess as an adult, it
would be a very different sortof approach, but that's what
(05:31):
they keyed.
And then they'd ask you aquestion.
I remember we had to go to likethe police station.
Um, and they had some questionsas well, which was so random.
And I remember the policemanwas, he was quite something.
And he was like, he asked melike, Oh, why is there like, um,
like a different part ofSwitzerland, like, why is there
(05:52):
like their flag or whatever onthis castle?
And I'm like, I have no ideabecause despite being like
living in Switzerland stuff,I've actually went to, um, a
French school.
So I was in the French schoolsystem.
Daniel Rock (06:05):
Okay,
Melodie (06:06):
so I wasn't learning about like, um, Switzerland's
like history or anything.
Cause I was doing the Frenchone, um, which they weren't a
fan of.
Daniel Rock (06:15):
so did you cross the border each day to go to
France to school or was
Melodie (06:19):
Oh, so it was a French school in, yeah, in, in Geneva.
Um, Geneva is quite like an, um,international city.
Like it's got like the UN andall those different things.
So it's actually got like a lotof, um, like a few international
schools and stuff, and there wasthis, yeah, the school that was
like, I said French school, butit was like, they were doing
(06:39):
the, the French school system.
So for you to get your Frenchbaccalaureate at the end, um,
But they also did like theequivalent in Switzerland, which
is the maturity.
So you could choose.
Um, but my parents were like,well, you, you're French.
Like you should learn, you know,French history.
And also back then, like havinga French baccalaureate would
open like doors to likeuniversity, cause it was sort of
(07:03):
recognized, whereas the Swissequivalent wasn't quite.
There yet or sometimes like, forexample, if I wanted to come to
New Zealand on my Swisspassport, it would have been a
whole lot more complicated.
Um, which I thought was quiteweird.
I was like, okay.
Daniel Rock (07:20):
because Switzerland's not generally part
of most kind of treaties oragreements because it's, it's so
independent.
So you wouldn't have thatreciprocal
Melodie (07:28):
Yes.
Daniel Rock (07:29):
that a lot of other countries would have.
Melodie (07:31):
Exactly.
Exactly.
So it was like, it wasinteresting.
So yeah, so that's sort of howI, um, Ended up becoming Swiss.
Then, um, yeah, moved to NewZealand.
And then, um, so my friend, Imoved in with my, my friend who
was, um, staying near, um, whichwas really cool for a bit.
And then he was also doing his,um, residency.
(07:53):
So he was telling me all aboutthat.
And then I think I did like, Ilike, I went to like a work visa
after the working holiday inthe, which was never a holiday.
It just was work.
It just turned into work.
Cause I also had the brilliantidea of coming here in the
middle of winter because my dumbass didn't think about the
(08:14):
difference.
Daniel Rock (08:15):
from winter to winter rather than from, yeah,
because
Melodie (08:19):
Yes.
I was like, Oh yeah, let's go ona holiday.
Daniel Rock (08:22):
or two winters in a row.
Melodie (08:25):
Yeah, I really didn't think that through.
I was like, Oh my God, like, Iwas like, well, I'm definitely
not going to go and explorestuff right now.
It's not the beast sort of time.
So I ended up into like, yeah,like a job and then a job and
stuff.
And then did some, yeah, workvisa.
And eventually I was like, let'sjust do like, yeah, like, uh, My
residency as well.
(08:45):
Cause I was like, I might aswell.
Right.
Cause it's just, I didn't likethe idea of like me being able
to stay in New Zealand wasrelated to my job because I was
like, if you know, anything goeswrong, like it's just, it's not
great.
So, and eventually I ended with,um, just going through the
whole, like, let's do incitizenship.
(09:05):
So here I am,
Daniel Rock (09:07):
So you have the three, so you've got
Melodie (09:09):
I've got three passports now.
Yeah.
I'm like, what is this?
I'm collecting them now.
I think that's enough.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Daniel Rock (09:20):
have rules around, and New Zealand doesn't care,
but so Switzerland and Francedon't care that you have other
passports either.
Melodie (09:30):
It's interesting.
That's something that comes up alot because, um, absolutely like
certain countries, they reallynot keen on you have like, they
don't let you.
It's like, you have to give upyour citizenship to take another
one.
Um, And I remember being reallyworried about that when I was
doing the whole like Swisspassport because I was like,
well, I don't want to lose theFrench one.
Like it's quite handy to haveboth, but like, no, they did not
(09:53):
care.
Um, it's like, it's fine.
And I've been using like,interestingly, depending where
I'd go, I'd choose a passport orthe other.
Cause it's like.
Yeah, depending where you go,sometimes one country has beef
with them and you're like, okay,I'm this nationality now, but
it's been like, um, they've beenquite similar, but like, um, I
(10:18):
guess because the French one waspart of the European union, so
it was quite good for certainthings though, to be fair,
Switzerland has like sort of,when you travel around Europe,
there's always like, you know,European union passport.
Plus Western, plus Norway, Soit's usually like, it's fine but
yeah.
Daniel Rock (10:37):
when the UK dropped out cause I've got a UK and New
Zealand
Melodie (10:40):
Oh yeah.
Daniel Rock (10:41):
lost that obviously when the UK dropped out of the
EU.
I don't get to go through thefast checks anymore.
Um, which is interesting.
you
Melodie (10:49):
Oh
Daniel Rock (10:49):
studied in the UK.
How did you make that decisionto go from doing the French
school system to go and study inthe UK?
And I'm assuming that was foryour university degree.
Melodie (11:00):
yes, absolutely.
I was, I was like, you know whenyou reach that age and you're
like, okay, so I'm gonna be 18,I'm gonna finish school, what am
I gonna do?
And I'm like, why do we have tochoose our entire life at this
age?
It feels so crazy because I'mlike, I know nothing.
Like, I don't know.
I know roughly what I like andwhat I don't like based off
(11:21):
likes.
stuff at school, like, okay, I'mreally not good at like
chemistry.
So definitely not going to godown that way.
Um, I like languages.
Okay.
But like, yeah.
And I remember being like, Idon't really know what I want to
do.
And I had a really, um.
Lovely English teacher and, um,she would, she would always
(11:43):
like, Oh, like, you know,they've got like really good
university in the UK.
Like, um, you should check itout and stuff.
And I guess I was looking aroundlike, um, I was looking at
France.
I was looking at like differentsort of countries around and
what's, what's new.
To offer, um, I look at the U Sbut I was like, I can't afford
that.
Um, I was like, it's just like,it's just not, not planned for
(12:05):
that.
And then, yeah, I looked at theUK and I was like, actually, I,
I always, um, I always reallyloved, I guess the culture and
everything.
And I was like, Oh, wouldn'tthat be nice to sort of continue
and do something.
And I thought, well, I'velearned English since I was
like, um, four.
(12:26):
Cause, um, my mom worked inthem.
In a job where it was like, um,bilingual.
And so she was always like, it'ssuper important for you to learn
English, which I'm like, sothankful for now because I'm
like, yeah, that just made it somuch easier.
And like, I remember thinkinglike, well, that would be a
really great way to really takeit to the next level and just
(12:46):
like, yeah, do all that stuff.
So I was like, okay.
I'll just go and I looked and Iremember there was like this
whole system.
It was like, Oh, you cast orsomething.
I can't remember like exactly,but it's like this whole system
you have to apply.
And I was like, Oh, this looksso complex.
But like this English teacherwas so amazing.
She really like helped me out.
And like, we went in, um, did wego and visit?
(13:10):
No, I think we just went andvisit like one of them or
something, but like, I had likefive in there and I was like,
okay, I'll just apply and stuff.
And it was really based on likethe courses they had, not really
the location.
Cause I really didn't care whereI was ending up.
It was more like, what do youhave to offer?
And I was looking at like doingcommunications cause, um.
(13:30):
It was wide enough that I feltlike I'll find something in
there that I'll like eventually.
And so I ended up going to, um,Oxford Brookes, um,
Daniel Rock (13:40):
Yep.
Melodie (13:41):
which was like such a fun university and, um, really
like, it was like a cool, it waslike, what is it called?
Like communication, media, andculture.
Anyway, it was a bit ofeverything.
It was just like, sort of, yeah,getting you into that.
So I was like, okay, I'll dolike a bachelor there.
And that was like three yearsthen I really, really loved it.
(14:01):
Like that was such a, such acool place.
Um, And then after that, I waslike, okay, I want to, um, I've
sort of touched a bit oneverything, but I really like,
um, advertising and I was like,I'd really like to, to go deeper
into this.
And so, um, I found like, um, amaster that was in, um,
(14:22):
Edinburgh and I was like, oh myGod, I mean.
I was really biased because Ireally liked Edinburgh, like,
already, so I was like, okay,I'm so keen to go.
Um, and they had like thismaster, it was like called
creative advertising, and it waspretty much teaching you around
like, um, to be like acopywriter or like a designer
(14:45):
and sort of like everything inbetween.
And that was like, that was justone year.
But it was so good and I reallyloved it.
I think what made it extraspecial is that you had people
from all over.
So you had like people fromobviously Edinburgh, um,
Glasgow, and then you had like,um, a few people from Greece.
(15:07):
We had some people from, um,Lithuania.
Um, Um, um, we had one girl fromAmerica and one from Germany.
Like it was a really like, sortof, um, like mixed group and it
just made it really, reallycool.
And it was like all sorts ofskills.
Cause we were all that sort ofdifferent level.
Like for me, I had, I knewnothing about like designing.
(15:27):
So I was like, what is indesign?
How do I do all this?
We had people who've been doingthis forever.
Um, but it was like, it was somuch fun.
So yeah, I would have totallystayed in the UK to be honest.
Like, I loved it so much there,but every sort of internship
that I found after was like nonpaid.
(15:47):
And I'm like, well, I don't havefamily here, so I can't really
just live at my parents and dothis job for free.
So yeah, so that's why I wentback to Switzerland after, but I
think I would have totally, if Ihad an opportunity, that
probably would have been a placeI would have ended up calling
home for a long time.
Daniel Rock (16:06):
So touching on that, obviously you grew up in
Switzerland, you spent threeyears in the UK now you've spent
nine in New Zealand.
Is there one place that feelsmore like home?
Is there a place that calls hometo you?
How does that kind of, I'malways interested to hear that
from people who lived inmultiple places and perhaps live
(16:27):
away from their family as well.
So kind of what I suppose thefirst question for that is kind
of feels the most home to you?
Melodie (16:36):
It's It's still like Switzerland, and like my parents
house, and being with themthere, I guess that's Because I
spend the most time there.
But also I guess it's like thechildhood home, like, cause we
moved into that house when I wasfour.
So I've literally like, andthey're still in the same house.
(16:57):
So it's like, it's always beenthat sort of like one place.
And I have like, I think also somany like memories and like good
times and all that.
Then it really feels like thisis home.
And like when people like, youknow, when I travel back to
visit or whatever, I'm alwayslike, I'm going home.
Like, it's like, you know, it's.
It's really like, it reallyfeels like the ultimate sort of,
(17:20):
um, home place.
Um, I think the UK was like, itdefinitely was my home for, for,
um, for quite a bit, but it'salways going to be like the one
that could have been, I know itsounds really weird, but it's
like, I connection to it.
(17:41):
Well, every time we've traveledback, um, because of my partner,
his brother lived in the UK fora bit, so we also went and
visited and stuff like that.
And I always, every time I goback, I'm like, ah, I could
totally live here.
Like this, there's always a partof it that feels like home, um,
in that way.
And then I think New Zealand forme is like, it's the, the new
(18:02):
home that I'm making for myself,um, with my, with my partner.
Um, but it feels like home in a,in a different way.
Um, it's like, this is where Iam right now.
And this is where I am.
Like, yeah, where I live, whereI work, and all that.
But it doesn't feel to the samesort of level of back home in
(18:24):
Switzerland.
I don't know how to explain it.
Daniel Rock (18:26):
No, I do get that.
Do you think that is somethingthat would change over time?
Or do you think that Switzerlandwill always have that poor?
Melodie (18:38):
I think it always gonna, it's always gonna have
that sort of like, yeah, thatsort of vibe.
To be fair though, like myparents were thinking of selling
the house, um, at one point andI was like, cause I was like, oh
my God, it's like, I don't know,I never imagined it sounds so
silly to say that, but I waslike, I never imagined they
would ever sell the house andmove away.
(18:59):
And I was like, wow, that istotally a possibility.
And it felt like I was like, ohmy God, no, like I can't.
I can't not like, I was like,it'd be so weird for me to go
back home and not be in thehouse because to me, I was like,
it is part of home.
So maybe when this happens, itwould feel different.
And I'll be like, Oh, it's notquite home anymore.
(19:19):
It's not the same vibe.
Yeah.
Daniel Rock (19:23):
can actually empathize with that because I
remember my parents have thesame house from when I was
probably about 10 years olduntil I left for New Zealand.
So I was 22 23 and then a fairfew years after I left.
And I remember the first time Iwent back to visit After they
sold that house and it does, itdid feel not in a negative way
(19:45):
in any way, but a little bitlike that safety net was removed
because your
Melodie (19:50):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Uh,
Daniel Rock (19:58):
in England.
They went from Freud and toDover or just outside of Dover
so totally different.
And so there was no familiarity.
When I went back there, it wasall new, like nothing was the
same.
So, and I think there is that,you know, home, you know, and
it's just something that's comeup in a few of these.
Now that home is as much it'speople, but it's also comfort,
(20:18):
you know, and familiarity, Ithink.
And I think that when thatfamiliarity goes.
And especially now my parentsdon't live in the UK.
The UK of all the places I livenow feels the least like home in
terms of where I'd want to be,but it will always be home
because that's where I was born.
That's where I grew up.
(20:38):
I still support, you know, I saythis on every episode is I still
support the English footballteam.
I still support Chelsea.
I support the English cricketteam.
I still have that feeling ofhome and I don't think that will
ever change.
But it doesn't have any pool forme anymore.
Like I can't imagine ever goingback to live there because my
parents aren't there.
(20:59):
My childhood home isn't there,you know, whole, and it's been a
really long time.
It's been 23, 24 years sinceI've lived there.
So that kind of familiar poolhas gone.
Could you see ever moving backto live in Switzerland or do you
feel like New Zealand is nowhome for the obviously home for
(21:21):
the foreseeable?
Is there that pool to go home?
Melodie (21:27):
Not, not really.
I've realized, I guess aftermoving here, I've realized
something.
I mean, I've always, I've beenvery lucky in that my parents
love traveling and we've alwaystraveled a lot.
And so, yeah.
And I loved like discovering newcountries, new culture and all
that.
Like it's really, it's so muchfun.
(21:47):
Um, but then obviously liketraveling and living somewhere
is quite different.
Daniel Rock (21:51):
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Melodie (22:05):
And I have friends who ask me, it's like, Oh, you know,
like, um, that friend, like, um,Albin who, Um, made me move here
eventually, he ended up leavingand going back, um, home.
Um, and he was, he's alwaysasking, he's like, Oh, like, do
you know, like, are you, are yougoing to stay?
And I'm like, well, for now I'mquite happy here.
So it kind of makes sense, butyeah, I don't know if I would go
(22:29):
back to Switzerland to be fair,like, um, I do love it and I
still have very good friends,um, that from, you know, Back at
school that I'm still in touchthat we have a little group chat
that we just talk every day.
And it's like, you know, we'restill like very close and stuff.
So I would love to be closer tothem so I could see them in
(22:51):
person and stuff.
But then I'm also like, I don'tknow if, I don't know if there
would be like jobs for me there.
Like, I remember reallystruggling back then because,
um, a big part of like being inSwitzerland and it's like four
languages in that country.
That just makes it really hard.
Is this sort of expect you toalways have German, which I did
(23:13):
at school.
So I was as a third language andI was like, yeah, but like I, I
left.
And I've never practiced my genmood since I was 18.
So I'm like, it is sort of longgone, right?
There's like little residuesomewhere in my brain, but I'm
like, let's be real.
It wouldn't be easy.
And I'm like, there's a bit ofpart of me that's like, Oh, I
don't even know if I could, youknow, go back into this.
(23:34):
And I don't know, there's a partof me as well.
When I go back home, I love itnow, but as a holiday place and
I'm like, I don't know if Iwould feel like I want to live
there.
Like, um, Yeah, it's hard.
I guess it's like, it's, I guessI see like both good sides on
(23:56):
here and there, and there'sdifferent things that sort of
appeal, like, um, I feel likepotentially, but I'm also like
now after living here, I've alsorealized that I quite like
moving around as well.
So I'm like, who knows?
Maybe I'll find another countrythat I'll end up living in.
(24:17):
It's like, I don't know.
Um, I'm not, I'm really notfussy.
Um, I guess the languageprobably would be a barrier for
me if, you know, if I'd have togo somewhere else, because now
I'm too lazy to learn a newlanguage.
Like, I'm like, my brain canbarely handle the two languages
that I'm asking.
Daniel Rock (24:36):
of most people.
The fact that you speak Englishand French is still a long way
ahead of most
Melodie (24:41):
Oh,
Daniel Rock (24:41):
Thank you.
Melodie (24:42):
don't even feel like I speak any of them like, well
anymore, you know, like it'slike, it's like a whole mumble
of both languages now and it'slike, what happened?
But yeah, it's um, so I thinkthere's that, but I, I, I
completely relate to what yousaid about like the, the, the,
the safety place, because Ithink that is definitely what's
(25:03):
happening with that.
Um, house and like being like,this is the place, this is like,
um, the memory, like even likeI've been, I found myself being
nostalgic recently because, um,when I was a kid, I used to go,
um, and stay with my great auntand great uncle.
And they had like a house in themiddle of nowhere in the
countryside in France.
(25:25):
And I spent some really lovelysummer there.
And it's like, it was reallylost, but I.
I also live back in a villageback home.
So I like being in the, um, inthe middle of nowhere.
That's like my thing.
I was like, I love it.
But it was like, I just thoughtabout it the other day and I
sent my mom a text and I waslike, can you like send me the
address of this place?
I want to go on Google map.
I was like, I want to have alook at it again.
(25:46):
Like, I was like, I'm startinglike feeling nostalgic because
it was like, again, it was thathome, like the, What they made
it to be that it was this verylike, um, tight, um, like no
care in the world, like everyonewalking around, like bare feet,
like, you know, we're playing inthe garden.
It had this really family vibe,like summer, like having like
(26:07):
laughters and stuff.
And I was like, I guess this iswhat is also making home for me.
It's that sort of like, um,yeah, those feelings attached to
the place.
Daniel Rock (26:17):
So would you say that's what makes something home
for you more?
It's the emotion and the feelingof it rather than the
physicality.
Melodie (26:25):
I think so.
Yes.
I think like right now, I'mlike, um, so we're renting where
we are cause, um, Paying a housein New Zealand is like,
Daniel Rock (26:35):
Auckland is for those people who aren't from New
Zealand listening to this.
Auckland prices are insane.
It's incredibly unaffordable.
Melodie (26:44):
ridiculous.
Or it's like, like so much moneyfor like a really shitty looking
house and you're like, I don'twant to spend that much on that.
Like what?
Yeah.
It's just, it's not something Ireally consider.
I'd love.
I mean, that would be the dreamis like, To find your own place,
to be able to afford your ownplace, to make it your home, to
be able to do what you want withit.
(27:06):
I'm very lucky that we have likeabsolutely adorable landlords,
which makes, um, makes iteasier.
And like, we've really made thishouse, cause now we've been in
this house for like, what, sevenyears or something.
Like it's been a while.
So we really like.
Daniel Rock (27:20):
for a rental, which is impressive for a rental.
Melodie (27:23):
it's, it's honestly, it's been great.
It's like, we have like nocomplaint, it's like really well
located and we've been, um,yeah, we've been really happy
with it.
We've made it like sort of tothe levels that we keen,
obviously when you're renting,but it's like, I guess that's
the thing I'm like, maybe whatwould make it even more home
would be that if I, it was myown home and I could really go
(27:45):
like, um, harder at making itthat way.
But yeah.
But, um, to be fair, it doesfeel really like home to me here
because I'm like, it's been somany years.
Like we've got a, like we went,we spent lockdown in here as
well.
So we were like, you know, it'slike, Oh my God, we spend so
much time stuck in this house,but I'm someone that also likes
(28:05):
to stay at home.
So for me, I was like, I don'tmind it.
This was great.
But yeah.
Yes.
Daniel Rock (28:14):
and there's a cultural thing.
I think Anglo countries, NewZealand, the UK, the U S home
ownership is a key.
Big thing, right?
That is what you do.
And I know speaking to peoplefrom France, people from
Germany, it's less of a thing.
People still own, but rentingfor life is much more for a
thing in other Europeancountries than it is here.
But I always kind of think of itas like a potted plant versus a
(28:35):
tree.
Like when you're renting, evenif it's a big pot, you're still
a potted plant.
You can't quite get your rootsinto the ground
Melodie (28:42):
Yes.
Daniel Rock (28:42):
can be moved at any time.
Whereas own, you have thatability to drive your roots in
and really kind of it your ownand feel at home, become one
with the place you're in.
And I think that does affectyour ability to be to feel at
home.
You know, we're in a similarsituation here.
Like I owned my place in NewZealand before I moved here, but
(29:03):
I owned that before I gottogether with my wife now.
So it was my place.
So she never felt completely athome there because that was
Melodie (29:10):
Yeah.
Daniel Rock (29:11):
always to her felt like my place here.
because of like having justmoved here and all the other
things.
And if you ever try and get acredit rating in America, you'll
understand how difficult thatprocess can be.
Um, we don't know we rent at themoment and that, you know, we
have a nice place to rent.
It's a good place.
Our daughter's here, but youdon't, you don't have that
(29:33):
connection with the placebecause you know, at some point,
you know, we have a lease thatruns till July of next year, we
know that at that point they canjust say, well, see you later.
You know, even if you've
Melodie (29:43):
Yes,
Daniel Rock (29:43):
time, you don't have that permanence.
And I think permanence.
And I'm just touching what yousaid about emotion.
Home is always going to be whereyou feel comfortable, where you
feel safe, where the peoplearound you make you feel
comfortable and at
Melodie (29:57):
yes.
Daniel Rock (29:58):
But there is also kind of in my belief, you need
to feel a little bit of sense ofpermanence.
You know that I can, I am themaster of my own destiny, right?
I get to choose where I live,where I go, what I do.
And I think when you're renting,sometimes that can, you can lose
that because you know,
Melodie (30:16):
Yeah,
Daniel Rock (30:17):
always
Melodie (30:17):
yeah.
Daniel Rock (30:18):
at the whim of someone else.
Melodie (30:20):
Absolutely.
Yes, I agree.
I don't think I've ever reallythought about it that way, but
it's so true.
Like, now that you say it, I'mlike, yeah, that's probably why
it doesn't feel as much as home.
Um, but it's like, yeah, it'sthat sort of sense of like, oh,
we could go any movement.
So one.
Part of it is freeing, becauseyou're like, I could go any
moment.
If I don't like it, I could justgo, whatever.
(30:43):
But another part is also like,yeah, but what if, what if
suddenly they changed their mindand they decided they want to
sell the house or like, what dowe leave?
You know, what do you do?
And there is a part like that.
And it's like, um, yeah, it'sdefinitely something that you
sort of have in the back ofyour, of your head, um, a
(31:05):
hundred percent.
Daniel Rock (31:07):
So the last kind of little topic I just wanted to
talk about a little bit, and Ilike to ask this from expats a
lot who move somewhere wherethere's no family.
Um, because I think there's, youknow, there's that, um, there's
an old adage, right?
That you can, you can chooseyour friends, but not your
family.
But I think that when you're anexpat somewhere, you kind of do
(31:28):
choose your family.
Because you, that, thosefriendships become family.
So really just to understandkind of how that's been for you.
And is that something you'vedone?
And this is really interestingone.
I like to ask Kiwis as well alittle bit.
Is that, have you found friendsthat are expats that are people
from similar place to you, ifyou kind of got lots of New
(31:49):
Zealand friends, how, how haveyou built that sort of family
network around yourself?
Melodie (31:55):
I guess when I started because I, I stayed with that
friend, um, he sort ofintroduced me to a lot of other
expats as well.
So initially it was a lot of,um, there's a lot of French
people, uh, which I was like, Idon't want to be around French
people.
I want to be like practicing myEnglish.
Like I was like.
(32:15):
Um, but like, yeah, it was greatthough, because, um, we would go
and do like, I guess like thefirst year we did a lot of, um,
exploring and stuff on theweekend and we were all like,
Oh, we knew to the country,let's go everywhere.
And it was great.
Um, After that, I guess you getlike friends at work.
(32:37):
Um, so that was also a way oflike meeting new people.
I always end up, and I don'tknow if it's because it's
Auckland and it's somulticultural, but like, I
always end up with a lot ofpeople from different countries.
Um,
Daniel Rock (32:48):
Yeah.
Melodie (32:58):
people and different sort of workplace.
Um, A lot of the people over theyears, what I've noticed is they
left.
So there's also that whole waveof like, people will stay for a
few years and eventually likethis sort of go, um, so suddenly
sort of lost touch with a fewpeople or like make it a bit
(33:20):
harder, but, um, Yeah, there'sthat.
And then, um, when I met mypartner, um, I met him at work
actually.
And it was like, um, I got tomeet all his friends and, um,
most of his friends, like he'dknow them since, um, like
school, like, like it's beenyears that they know each other.
(33:41):
And, um, they really becamelike, um, like a family because
they were, they're such a biggroup.
And, um, I remember like when wehad like, um, And things like
that, like, you know, we'd havelike Christmas together, which
for me, I was like, I've neverhad Christmas with my friends
back home.
That was just not a thing we do.
(34:01):
You just have Christmas withyour family.
So it was sort of a new thingfor me.
And I was like, Oh, I, I likethis.
This is nice.
And, um, so that was lovely.
And
Daniel Rock (34:10):
24
Melodie (34:11):
I met my partner and all that, when I had, um.
Daniel Rock (34:13):
24
Melodie (34:14):
flatmate, um, that I lived with for like a few years.
And she really made me feellike,
Daniel Rock (34:20):
do
Melodie (34:21):
welcome and like part of it because like same, like we
had like Christmas together,like with some of her other
friends, like we were alwayslike, yeah, like, uh,
Daniel Rock (34:31):
things that
Melodie (34:32):
like it felt like we were like, uh, like you said,
like a family, like, um, herparents came to visit.
I got to meet her parents.
Like when my parents came over,we also go and like, you know,
go for dinner and stuff, like itreally felt that way.
And, um, so I guess like,absolutely.
Like you end up having thepeople around you, like become
(34:52):
your family.
Um, but at the same time, it'slike, um, I still.
I don't have like a friendshipquite like the one that I have
back home.
Daniel Rock (35:07):
Okay.
Melodie (35:08):
like, it's a different type of friendship, like, and,
um, I guess we went through,through school and all the drama
and stuff, like with my friendsback home and it's like, we're
more, probably more open, um, oncertain things, but, um, I'd say
it's different type offriendship.
Daniel Rock (35:28):
be
Melodie (35:31):
we're doing things that, yeah, I wouldn't have done
with my friends back home aswell.
So it's like, yeah, I like itbecause I feel like it forced me
also to do
Daniel Rock (35:41):
the
Melodie (35:44):
try, um, new things and to sort of, um, Yeah.
To sort of appreciate evenpeople even more, I think, um,
because suddenly you're like,okay, I'm out there.
I have to, you know, you haveto, you're like, I'm going to
meet people.
I don't really know anyone.
So it was really great that Ihad that friend initially,
because let's be honest.
I think if I was here on my own,I didn't know anyone.
(36:06):
I probably would have been a bitshy and be like, Oh, I don't
know how to meet anyone.
Daniel Rock (36:11):
hard when you don't have that.
You know, I'm very lucky thatI've moved here with my wife and
she's got friends, family in NewZealand.
I moved with a partner whichmade that easier.
But it is a really difficulttransition when you don't know
many people and
Melodie (36:22):
Yes.
Daniel Rock (36:23):
I think as you get older because You
Melodie (36:25):
Oh my God, yes.
Daniel Rock (36:26):
as you get older, it becomes much, much harder to
make friends because we don't,you know, you don't go out of
bars that much anymore.
You don't play as
Melodie (36:33):
He's like, where do you go?
Daniel Rock (36:34):
yeah.
So like, you know, it's, it's,there isn't really that kind of
opportunity that you get whenyou're, you know, in your teens
or your early twenties, when youget to kind of do those things
that kind of.
Make new friends.
And I think that's why you,those friendships you make early
or in childhood become soimportant because they are
Melodie (36:52):
Yes.
Daniel Rock (36:53):
for a really long time.
yeah, I think that's a really,really good point.
Um, thank you so much for yourtime, Melody.
Melodie (37:01):
No, thank you.
Daniel Rock (37:02):
chat.
It was really good.
So you so much.
Um, it's really very muchappreciated.
And to everyone else, thank youso much for
Melodie (37:09):
Okay.
Daniel Rock (37:30):
podcast would be
Melodie (37:31):
Okay.
Daniel Rock (37:31):
if
Melodie (37:31):
Um, you
Daniel Rock (37:52):
lay my hat dot com is my email address.
So please reach out.
And if you'd like to be on theshow, we can have a
conversation.
So again, thank you forlistening and I'll speak to you
soon.
Welcome to
Melodie (00:06):
Okay.
Daniel Rock (00:23):
She has a lovely partner and two cats and she
tells me she would have more,but her landlord has two as a
maximum in her contract.
she loves traveling, reading,traveling.
Building Lego, watching TVshows, exploring the Auckland
region with walks and buyingmore quirky lamps and handbags
than she can store.
Welcome Melody.
And I hope I didn't butcher yourlast name too much.
(00:44):
My French is a little out ofdate.
Um, don't you tell us a littlebit about your journey and sort
of how you ended up in NewZealand?
Melodie (00:52):
Thanks, Daniel.
Um, yes.
Um, so I've literally, it was avery random way that I ended up
in New Zealand.
Um, when I started back in theUK, um, I had a good friend
called, um, Alvin and we sort ofkept in touch, like, Very
(01:12):
sporadically, like, you know,and it's part of those people
that you might not talk to themfor years but then you run into
them and it's like you've never,um, left each other.
And, um, I was sending him likea Happy New Year sort of message
and then he just sort of reachedout and was like, two months
later, like, Oh, Happy New Year!And I'm like, okay, and he was
like, Oh, I'm in New Zealand.
(01:33):
It's amazing.
Like, I'm doing a workingholiday visa.
Like, you should totally come.
And I was, I was going throughmy crisis of 25 of like, you
know, what am I doing with mylife?
This is not what I thought itwould be and all that.
And, um, pretty much justthought like, yeah, actually I
totally should, I should just goto New Zealand.
(01:55):
So I started like thinking aboutit and he was like, Oh, when you
want to, when you've got like aFrench passport, it's really
easy.
Like you can do it online.
And so I did that.
It took me like four days orsomething.
And then bam, I just had aworking holiday visit.
I was like, wow, this is crazy
Daniel Rock (02:12):
Yeah, I think New Zealand bureaucracy certainly a
few years ago is a littledifferent.
I remember when I did my workand all that visa and I sent the
application form in and forgotto put the passport in the
envelope.
And I can imagine if, like, theBritish or the American
embassies got that, they'd justbe, like, sending it back.
I got a phone call from the guyat the New Zealand embassy in
Haymarket or Consulate, as itwas, Hey, can you pop down and
(02:32):
bring your passport so I can putthe stamp in it?
I can't imagine many othercountries handling it that way.
Melodie (02:37):
goodness.
No, yeah, it was, um, it'spretty, yeah, pretty chill back
then.
And then, yeah, so I just sortof like decided, okay, let's do
this.
And I thought, okay, I'll.
I was doing like a lot of inter,I had like been doing internship
for two and a half years indifferent places.
It was just going nowhere.
Um, but the current bosses Ihave back then, they were really
(03:00):
cool.
And I've sort of tell them, thisis what I want to do.
And they're like, right.
And this sort of adapted like mycontract.
Um, they even told me like, Oh,you know, if you want to still
work remote for us to like helpyou settle, like that was very
lovely.
Um, I just tell my parents,obviously, I mean, I was, um, I
had moved to live back with themand.
(03:20):
I'd always remember because mymom said she was like, she's
like, oh, that's very exciting.
But like, she was a bit sad andI was like, oh, what's going on?
And she was like, well, you'regoing to meet a Kiwi.
You're going to get married.
You're going to have a baby.
I'm never going to see youagain.
I'm 25 thinking like, you know,just going on a holiday.
Daniel Rock (03:39):
Yeah.
Melodie (03:41):
I'll be back.
And here I am nine years later,still in New Zealand.
So I guess she's not, not toowrong.
Um,
Daniel Rock (03:50):
It
Melodie (03:50):
yeah.
Daniel Rock (03:51):
that way with people.
I've meant to go for a year andend up there for 20, nearly 23.
So yeah, I think
Melodie (03:57):
It definitely feels that way.
Daniel Rock (04:00):
So
Melodie (04:00):
A lot of friends.
That's what I heard.
Daniel Rock (04:03):
see you are French, but grew up in Switzerland.
Tell me a little bit sort ofabout your, that background as
well.
Melodie (04:09):
Yeah.
So, um, both my parents areFrench, so that just makes me
French.
Um, and then, um, but I was.
They both sort of lived, um, andworked close to Geneva and, um,
I was born there and, um, butSwitzerland is not a country
where if you're born there, youautomatically like, um, got the
(04:30):
nationality.
It's more, it's a bit morecomplex.
You either marry a Swiss or youhave to have, um, your parents
to be Swiss or to have been bornin Switzerland and back then it
might have changed but back thenit was like you had to when you
reached 13 years um of after youbeing born there and having
(04:51):
lived there this whole time youcould apply to become Swiss um
Which I didn't really know backthen, I didn't really care, to
be honest.
Um, because it didn't reallyaffect me in any way.
Um, but then like, when I was16, my mum was like, Oh, you
should probably do it.
Like, it'd be good, you know,for you to have like, the, the
Swiss passport.
And I, I already felt Swiss aswell.
(05:11):
Like, because I've been, that'sthe way I've always been.
Um, grew up.
So yeah, I had to do that, whichwas quite the adventure in
itself.
Um, back then they reallychecked, like, if you were, I
guess, integrated, like, youknow, did you have friends?
Like, did you, um, as a 16 yearold, I guess as an adult, it
would be a very different sortof approach, but that's what
(05:31):
they keyed.
And then they'd ask you aquestion.
I remember we had to go to likethe police station.
Um, and they had some questionsas well, which was so random.
And I remember the policemanwas, he was quite something.
And he was like, he asked melike, Oh, why is there like, um,
like a different part ofSwitzerland, like, why is there
(05:52):
like their flag or whatever onthis castle?
And I'm like, I have no ideabecause despite being like
living in Switzerland stuff,I've actually went to, um, a
French school.
So I was in the French schoolsystem.
Daniel Rock (06:05):
Okay,
Melodie (06:06):
so I wasn't learning about like, um, Switzerland's
like history or anything.
Cause I was doing the Frenchone, um, which they weren't a
fan of.
Daniel Rock (06:15):
so did you cross the border each day to go to
France to school or was
Melodie (06:19):
Oh, so it was a French school in, yeah, in, in Geneva.
Um, Geneva is quite like an, um,international city.
Like it's got like the UN andall those different things.
So it's actually got like a lotof, um, like a few international
schools and stuff, and there wasthis, yeah, the school that was
like, I said French school, butit was like, they were doing
(06:39):
the, the French school system.
So for you to get your Frenchbaccalaureate at the end, um,
But they also did like theequivalent in Switzerland, which
is the maturity.
So you could choose.
Um, but my parents were like,well, you, you're French.
Like you should learn, you know,French history.
And also back then, like havinga French baccalaureate would
open like doors to likeuniversity, cause it was sort of
(07:03):
recognized, whereas the Swissequivalent wasn't quite.
There yet or sometimes like, forexample, if I wanted to come to
New Zealand on my Swisspassport, it would have been a
whole lot more complicated.
Um, which I thought was quiteweird.
I was like, okay.
Daniel Rock (07:20):
because Switzerland's not generally part
of most kind of treaties oragreements because it's, it's so
independent.
So you wouldn't have thatreciprocal
Melodie (07:28):
Yes.
Daniel Rock (07:29):
that a lot of other countries would have.
Melodie (07:31):
Exactly.
Exactly.
So it was like, it wasinteresting.
So yeah, so that's sort of howI, um, Ended up becoming Swiss.
Then, um, yeah, moved to NewZealand.
And then, um, so my friend, Imoved in with my, my friend who
was, um, staying near, um, whichwas really cool for a bit.
And then he was also doing his,um, residency.
(07:53):
So he was telling me all aboutthat.
And then I think I did like, Ilike, I went to like a work visa
after the working holiday inthe, which was never a holiday.
It just was work.
It just turned into work.
Cause I also had the brilliantidea of coming here in the
middle of winter because my dumbass didn't think about the
(08:14):
difference.
Daniel Rock (08:15):
from winter to winter rather than from, yeah,
because
Melodie (08:19):
Yes.
I was like, Oh yeah, let's go ona holiday.
Daniel Rock (08:22):
or two winters in a row.
Melodie (08:25):
Yeah, I really didn't think that through.
I was like, Oh my God, like, Iwas like, well, I'm definitely
not going to go and explorestuff right now.
It's not the beast sort of time.
So I ended up into like, yeah,like a job and then a job and
stuff.
And then did some, yeah, workvisa.
And eventually I was like, let'sjust do like, yeah, like, uh, My
residency as well.
(08:45):
Cause I was like, I might aswell.
Right.
Cause it's just, I didn't likethe idea of like me being able
to stay in New Zealand wasrelated to my job because I was
like, if you know, anything goeswrong, like it's just, it's not
great.
So, and eventually I ended with,um, just going through the
whole, like, let's do incitizenship.
(09:05):
So here I am,
Daniel Rock (09:07):
So you have the three, so you've got
Melodie (09:09):
I've got three passports now.
Yeah.
I'm like, what is this?
I'm collecting them now.
I think that's enough.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Daniel Rock (09:20):
have rules around, and New Zealand doesn't care,
but so Switzerland and Francedon't care that you have other
passports either.
Melodie (09:30):
It's interesting.
That's something that comes up alot because, um, absolutely like
certain countries, they reallynot keen on you have like, they
don't let you.
It's like, you have to give upyour citizenship to take another
one.
Um, And I remember being reallyworried about that when I was
doing the whole like Swisspassport because I was like,
well, I don't want to lose theFrench one.
Like it's quite handy to haveboth, but like, no, they did not
(09:53):
care.
Um, it's like, it's fine.
And I've been using like,interestingly, depending where
I'd go, I'd choose a passport orthe other.
Cause it's like.
Yeah, depending where you go,sometimes one country has beef
with them and you're like, okay,I'm this nationality now, but
it's been like, um, they've beenquite similar, but like, um, I
(10:18):
guess because the French one waspart of the European union, so
it was quite good for certainthings though, to be fair,
Switzerland has like sort of,when you travel around Europe,
there's always like, you know,European union passport.
Plus Western, plus Norway, Soit's usually like, it's fine but
yeah.
Daniel Rock (10:37):
when the UK dropped out cause I've got a UK and New
Zealand
Melodie (10:40):
Oh yeah.
Daniel Rock (10:41):
lost that obviously when the UK dropped out of the
EU.
I don't get to go through thefast checks anymore.
Um, which is interesting.
you
Melodie (10:49):
Oh
Daniel Rock (10:49):
studied in the UK.
How did you make that decisionto go from doing the French
school system to go and study inthe UK?
And I'm assuming that was foryour university degree.
Melodie (11:00):
yes, absolutely.
I was, I was like, you know whenyou reach that age and you're
like, okay, so I'm gonna be 18,I'm gonna finish school, what am
I gonna do?
And I'm like, why do we have tochoose our entire life at this
age?
It feels so crazy because I'mlike, I know nothing.
Like, I don't know.
I know roughly what I like andwhat I don't like based off
(11:21):
likes.
stuff at school, like, okay, I'mreally not good at like
chemistry.
So definitely not going to godown that way.
Um, I like languages.
Okay.
But like, yeah.
And I remember being like, Idon't really know what I want to
do.
And I had a really, um.
Lovely English teacher and, um,she would, she would always
(11:43):
like, Oh, like, you know,they've got like really good
university in the UK.
Like, um, you should check itout and stuff.
And I guess I was looking aroundlike, um, I was looking at
France.
I was looking at like differentsort of countries around and
what's, what's new.
To offer, um, I look at the U Sbut I was like, I can't afford
that.
Um, I was like, it's just like,it's just not, not planned for
(12:05):
that.
And then, yeah, I looked at theUK and I was like, actually, I,
I always, um, I always reallyloved, I guess the culture and
everything.
And I was like, Oh, wouldn'tthat be nice to sort of continue
and do something.
And I thought, well, I'velearned English since I was
like, um, four.
(12:26):
Cause, um, my mom worked inthem.
In a job where it was like, um,bilingual.
And so she was always like, it'ssuper important for you to learn
English, which I'm like, sothankful for now because I'm
like, yeah, that just made it somuch easier.
And like, I remember thinkinglike, well, that would be a
really great way to really takeit to the next level and just
(12:46):
like, yeah, do all that stuff.
So I was like, okay.
I'll just go and I looked and Iremember there was like this
whole system.
It was like, Oh, you cast orsomething.
I can't remember like exactly,but it's like this whole system
you have to apply.
And I was like, Oh, this looksso complex.
But like this English teacherwas so amazing.
She really like helped me out.
And like, we went in, um, did wego and visit?
(13:10):
No, I think we just went andvisit like one of them or
something, but like, I had likefive in there and I was like,
okay, I'll just apply and stuff.
And it was really based on likethe courses they had, not really
the location.
Cause I really didn't care whereI was ending up.
It was more like, what do youhave to offer?
And I was looking at like doingcommunications cause, um.
(13:30):
It was wide enough that I feltlike I'll find something in
there that I'll like eventually.
And so I ended up going to, um,Oxford Brookes, um,
Daniel Rock (13:40):
Yep.
Melodie (13:41):
which was like such a fun university and, um, really
like, it was like a cool, it waslike, what is it called?
Like communication, media, andculture.
Anyway, it was a bit ofeverything.
It was just like, sort of, yeah,getting you into that.
So I was like, okay, I'll dolike a bachelor there.
And that was like three yearsthen I really, really loved it.
(14:01):
Like that was such a, such acool place.
Um, And then after that, I waslike, okay, I want to, um, I've
sort of touched a bit oneverything, but I really like,
um, advertising and I was like,I'd really like to, to go deeper
into this.
And so, um, I found like, um, amaster that was in, um,
(14:22):
Edinburgh and I was like, oh myGod, I mean.
I was really biased because Ireally liked Edinburgh, like,
already, so I was like, okay,I'm so keen to go.
Um, and they had like thismaster, it was like called
creative advertising, and it waspretty much teaching you around
like, um, to be like acopywriter or like a designer
(14:45):
and sort of like everything inbetween.
And that was like, that was justone year.
But it was so good and I reallyloved it.
I think what made it extraspecial is that you had people
from all over.
So you had like people fromobviously Edinburgh, um,
Glasgow, and then you had like,um, a few people from Greece.
(15:07):
We had some people from, um,Lithuania.
Um, Um, um, we had one girl fromAmerica and one from Germany.
Like it was a really like, sortof, um, like mixed group and it
just made it really, reallycool.
And it was like all sorts ofskills.
Cause we were all that sort ofdifferent level.
Like for me, I had, I knewnothing about like designing.
(15:27):
So I was like, what is indesign?
How do I do all this?
We had people who've been doingthis forever.
Um, but it was like, it was somuch fun.
So yeah, I would have totallystayed in the UK to be honest.
Like, I loved it so much there,but every sort of internship
that I found after was like nonpaid.
(15:47):
And I'm like, well, I don't havefamily here, so I can't really
just live at my parents and dothis job for free.
So yeah, so that's why I wentback to Switzerland after, but I
think I would have totally, if Ihad an opportunity, that
probably would have been a placeI would have ended up calling
home for a long time.
Daniel Rock (16:06):
So touching on that, obviously you grew up in
Switzerland, you spent threeyears in the UK now you've spent
nine in New Zealand.
Is there one place that feelsmore like home?
Is there a place that calls hometo you?
How does that kind of, I'malways interested to hear that
from people who lived inmultiple places and perhaps live
(16:27):
away from their family as well.
So kind of what I suppose thefirst question for that is kind
of feels the most home to you?
Melodie (16:36):
It's It's still like Switzerland, and like my parents
house, and being with themthere, I guess that's Because I
spend the most time there.
But also I guess it's like thechildhood home, like, cause we
moved into that house when I wasfour.
So I've literally like, andthey're still in the same house.
(16:57):
So it's like, it's always beenthat sort of like one place.
And I have like, I think also somany like memories and like good
times and all that.
Then it really feels like thisis home.
And like when people like, youknow, when I travel back to
visit or whatever, I'm alwayslike, I'm going home.
Like, it's like, you know, it's.
It's really like, it reallyfeels like the ultimate sort of,
(17:20):
um, home place.
Um, I think the UK was like, itdefinitely was my home for, for,
um, for quite a bit, but it'salways going to be like the one
that could have been, I know itsounds really weird, but it's
like, I connection to it.
(17:41):
Well, every time we've traveledback, um, because of my partner,
his brother lived in the UK fora bit, so we also went and
visited and stuff like that.
And I always, every time I goback, I'm like, ah, I could
totally live here.
Like this, there's always a partof it that feels like home, um,
in that way.
And then I think New Zealand forme is like, it's the, the new
(18:02):
home that I'm making for myself,um, with my, with my partner.
Um, but it feels like home in a,in a different way.
Um, it's like, this is where Iam right now.
And this is where I am.
Like, yeah, where I live, whereI work, and all that.
But it doesn't feel to the samesort of level of back home in
(18:24):
Switzerland.
I don't know how to explain it.
Daniel Rock (18:26):
No, I do get that.
Do you think that is somethingthat would change over time?
Or do you think that Switzerlandwill always have that poor?
Melodie (18:38):
I think it always gonna, it's always gonna have
that sort of like, yeah, thatsort of vibe.
To be fair though, like myparents were thinking of selling
the house, um, at one point andI was like, cause I was like, oh
my God, it's like, I don't know,I never imagined it sounds so
silly to say that, but I waslike, I never imagined they
would ever sell the house andmove away.
(18:59):
And I was like, wow, that istotally a possibility.
And it felt like I was like, ohmy God, no, like I can't.
I can't not like, I was like,it'd be so weird for me to go
back home and not be in thehouse because to me, I was like,
it is part of home.
So maybe when this happens, itwould feel different.
And I'll be like, Oh, it's notquite home anymore.
(19:19):
It's not the same vibe.
Yeah.
Daniel Rock (19:23):
can actually empathize with that because I
remember my parents have thesame house from when I was
probably about 10 years olduntil I left for New Zealand.
So I was 22 23 and then a fairfew years after I left.
And I remember the first time Iwent back to visit After they
sold that house and it does, itdid feel not in a negative way
(19:45):
in any way, but a little bitlike that safety net was removed
because your
Melodie (19:50):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Uh,
Daniel Rock (19:58):
in England.
They went from Freud and toDover or just outside of Dover
so totally different.
And so there was no familiarity.
When I went back there, it wasall new, like nothing was the
same.
So, and I think there is that,you know, home, you know, and
it's just something that's comeup in a few of these.
Now that home is as much it'speople, but it's also comfort,
(20:18):
you know, and familiarity, Ithink.
And I think that when thatfamiliarity goes.
And especially now my parentsdon't live in the UK.
The UK of all the places I livenow feels the least like home in
terms of where I'd want to be,but it will always be home
because that's where I was born.
That's where I grew up.
(20:38):
I still support, you know, I saythis on every episode is I still
support the English footballteam.
I still support Chelsea.
I support the English cricketteam.
I still have that feeling ofhome and I don't think that will
ever change.
But it doesn't have any pool forme anymore.
Like I can't imagine ever goingback to live there because my
parents aren't there.
(20:59):
My childhood home isn't there,you know, whole, and it's been a
really long time.
It's been 23, 24 years sinceI've lived there.
So that kind of familiar poolhas gone.
Could you see ever moving backto live in Switzerland or do you
feel like New Zealand is nowhome for the obviously home for
(21:21):
the foreseeable?
Is there that pool to go home?
Melodie (21:27):
Not, not really.
I've realized, I guess aftermoving here, I've realized
something.
I mean, I've always, I've beenvery lucky in that my parents
love traveling and we've alwaystraveled a lot.
And so, yeah.
And I loved like discovering newcountries, new culture and all
that.
Like it's really, it's so muchfun.
(21:47):
Um, but then obviously liketraveling and living somewhere
is quite different.
Daniel Rock (21:51):
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Melodie (22:05):
And I have friends who ask me, it's like, Oh, you know,
like, um, that friend, like, um,Albin who, Um, made me move here
eventually, he ended up leavingand going back, um, home.
Um, and he was, he's alwaysasking, he's like, Oh, like, do
you know, like, are you, are yougoing to stay?
And I'm like, well, for now I'mquite happy here.
So it kind of makes sense, butyeah, I don't know if I would go
(22:29):
back to Switzerland to be fair,like, um, I do love it and I
still have very good friends,um, that from, you know, Back at
school that I'm still in touchthat we have a little group chat
that we just talk every day.
And it's like, you know, we'restill like very close and stuff.
So I would love to be closer tothem so I could see them in
(22:51):
person and stuff.
But then I'm also like, I don'tknow if, I don't know if there
would be like jobs for me there.
Like, I remember reallystruggling back then because,
um, a big part of like being inSwitzerland and it's like four
languages in that country.
That just makes it really hard.
Is this sort of expect you toalways have German, which I did
(23:13):
at school.
So I was as a third language andI was like, yeah, but like I, I
left.
And I've never practiced my genmood since I was 18.
So I'm like, it is sort of longgone, right?
There's like little residuesomewhere in my brain, but I'm
like, let's be real.
It wouldn't be easy.
And I'm like, there's a bit ofpart of me that's like, Oh, I
don't even know if I could, youknow, go back into this.
(23:34):
And I don't know, there's a partof me as well.
When I go back home, I love itnow, but as a holiday place and
I'm like, I don't know if Iwould feel like I want to live
there.
Like, um, Yeah, it's hard.
I guess it's like, it's, I guessI see like both good sides on
(23:56):
here and there, and there'sdifferent things that sort of
appeal, like, um, I feel likepotentially, but I'm also like
now after living here, I've alsorealized that I quite like
moving around as well.
So I'm like, who knows?
Maybe I'll find another countrythat I'll end up living in.
(24:17):
It's like, I don't know.
Um, I'm not, I'm really notfussy.
Um, I guess the languageprobably would be a barrier for
me if, you know, if I'd have togo somewhere else, because now
I'm too lazy to learn a newlanguage.
Like, I'm like, my brain canbarely handle the two languages
that I'm asking.
Daniel Rock (24:36):
of most people.
The fact that you speak Englishand French is still a long way
ahead of most
Melodie (24:41):
Oh,
Daniel Rock (24:41):
Thank you.
Melodie (24:42):
don't even feel like I speak any of them like, well
anymore, you know, like it'slike, it's like a whole mumble
of both languages now and it'slike, what happened?
But yeah, it's um, so I thinkthere's that, but I, I, I
completely relate to what yousaid about like the, the, the,
the safety place, because Ithink that is definitely what's
(25:03):
happening with that.
Um, house and like being like,this is the place, this is like,
um, the memory, like even likeI've been, I found myself being
nostalgic recently because, um,when I was a kid, I used to go,
um, and stay with my great auntand great uncle.
And they had like a house in themiddle of nowhere in the
countryside in France.
(25:25):
And I spent some really lovelysummer there.
And it's like, it was reallylost, but I.
I also live back in a villageback home.
So I like being in the, um, inthe middle of nowhere.
That's like my thing.
I was like, I love it.
But it was like, I just thoughtabout it the other day and I
sent my mom a text and I waslike, can you like send me the
address of this place?
I want to go on Google map.
I was like, I want to have alook at it again.
(25:46):
Like, I was like, I'm startinglike feeling nostalgic because
it was like, again, it was thathome, like the, What they made
it to be that it was this verylike, um, tight, um, like no
care in the world, like everyonewalking around, like bare feet,
like, you know, we're playing inthe garden.
It had this really family vibe,like summer, like having like
(26:07):
laughters and stuff.
And I was like, I guess this iswhat is also making home for me.
It's that sort of like, um,yeah, those feelings attached to
the place.
Daniel Rock (26:17):
So would you say that's what makes something home
for you more?
It's the emotion and the feelingof it rather than the
physicality.
Melodie (26:25):
I think so.
Yes.
I think like right now, I'mlike, um, so we're renting where
we are cause, um, Paying a housein New Zealand is like,
Daniel Rock (26:35):
Auckland is for those people who aren't from New
Zealand listening to this.
Auckland prices are insane.
It's incredibly unaffordable.
Melodie (26:44):
ridiculous.
Or it's like, like so much moneyfor like a really shitty looking
house and you're like, I don'twant to spend that much on that.
Like what?
Yeah.
It's just, it's not something Ireally consider.
I'd love.
I mean, that would be the dreamis like, To find your own place,
to be able to afford your ownplace, to make it your home, to
be able to do what you want withit.
(27:06):
I'm very lucky that we have likeabsolutely adorable landlords,
which makes, um, makes iteasier.
And like, we've really made thishouse, cause now we've been in
this house for like, what, sevenyears or something.
Like it's been a while.
So we really like.
Daniel Rock (27:20):
for a rental, which is impressive for a rental.
Melodie (27:23):
it's, it's honestly, it's been great.
It's like, we have like nocomplaint, it's like really well
located and we've been, um,yeah, we've been really happy
with it.
We've made it like sort of tothe levels that we keen,
obviously when you're renting,but it's like, I guess that's
the thing I'm like, maybe whatwould make it even more home
would be that if I, it was myown home and I could really go
(27:45):
like, um, harder at making itthat way.
But yeah.
But, um, to be fair, it doesfeel really like home to me here
because I'm like, it's been somany years.
Like we've got a, like we went,we spent lockdown in here as
well.
So we were like, you know, it'slike, Oh my God, we spend so
much time stuck in this house,but I'm someone that also likes
(28:05):
to stay at home.
So for me, I was like, I don'tmind it.
This was great.
But yeah.
Yes.
Daniel Rock (28:14):
and there's a cultural thing.
I think Anglo countries, NewZealand, the UK, the U S home
ownership is a key.
Big thing, right?
That is what you do.
And I know speaking to peoplefrom France, people from
Germany, it's less of a thing.
People still own, but rentingfor life is much more for a
thing in other Europeancountries than it is here.
But I always kind of think of itas like a potted plant versus a
(28:35):
tree.
Like when you're renting, evenif it's a big pot, you're still
a potted plant.
You can't quite get your rootsinto the ground
Melodie (28:42):
Yes.
Daniel Rock (28:42):
can be moved at any time.
Whereas own, you have thatability to drive your roots in
and really kind of it your ownand feel at home, become one
with the place you're in.
And I think that does affectyour ability to be to feel at
home.
You know, we're in a similarsituation here.
Like I owned my place in NewZealand before I moved here, but
(29:03):
I owned that before I gottogether with my wife now.
So it was my place.
So she never felt completely athome there because that was
Melodie (29:10):
Yeah.
Daniel Rock (29:11):
always to her felt like my place here.
because of like having justmoved here and all the other
things.
And if you ever try and get acredit rating in America, you'll
understand how difficult thatprocess can be.
Um, we don't know we rent at themoment and that, you know, we
have a nice place to rent.
It's a good place.
Our daughter's here, but youdon't, you don't have that
(29:33):
connection with the placebecause you know, at some point,
you know, we have a lease thatruns till July of next year, we
know that at that point they canjust say, well, see you later.
You know, even if you've
Melodie (29:43):
Yes,
Daniel Rock (29:43):
time, you don't have that permanence.
And I think permanence.
And I'm just touching what yousaid about emotion.
Home is always going to be whereyou feel comfortable, where you
feel safe, where the peoplearound you make you feel
comfortable and at
Melodie (29:57):
yes.
Daniel Rock (29:58):
But there is also kind of in my belief, you need
to feel a little bit of sense ofpermanence.
You know that I can, I am themaster of my own destiny, right?
I get to choose where I live,where I go, what I do.
And I think when you're renting,sometimes that can, you can lose
that because you know,
Melodie (30:16):
Yeah,
Daniel Rock (30:17):
always
Melodie (30:17):
yeah.
Daniel Rock (30:18):
at the whim of someone else.
Melodie (30:20):
Absolutely.
Yes, I agree.
I don't think I've ever reallythought about it that way, but
it's so true.
Like, now that you say it, I'mlike, yeah, that's probably why
it doesn't feel as much as home.
Um, but it's like, yeah, it'sthat sort of sense of like, oh,
we could go any movement.
So one.
Part of it is freeing, becauseyou're like, I could go any
moment.
If I don't like it, I could justgo, whatever.
(30:43):
But another part is also like,yeah, but what if, what if
suddenly they changed their mindand they decided they want to
sell the house or like, what dowe leave?
You know, what do you do?
And there is a part like that.
And it's like, um, yeah, it'sdefinitely something that you
sort of have in the back ofyour, of your head, um, a
(31:05):
hundred percent.
Daniel Rock (31:07):
So the last kind of little topic I just wanted to
talk about a little bit, and Ilike to ask this from expats a
lot who move somewhere wherethere's no family.
Um, because I think there's, youknow, there's that, um, there's
an old adage, right?
That you can, you can chooseyour friends, but not your
family.
But I think that when you're anexpat somewhere, you kind of do
(31:28):
choose your family.
Because you, that, thosefriendships become family.
So really just to understandkind of how that's been for you.
And is that something you'vedone?
And this is really interestingone.
I like to ask Kiwis as well alittle bit.
Is that, have you found friendsthat are expats that are people
from similar place to you, ifyou kind of got lots of New
(31:49):
Zealand friends, how, how haveyou built that sort of family
network around yourself?
Melodie (31:55):
I guess when I started because I, I stayed with that
friend, um, he sort ofintroduced me to a lot of other
expats as well.
So initially it was a lot of,um, there's a lot of French
people, uh, which I was like, Idon't want to be around French
people.
I want to be like practicing myEnglish.
Like I was like.
(32:15):
Um, but like, yeah, it was greatthough, because, um, we would go
and do like, I guess like thefirst year we did a lot of, um,
exploring and stuff on theweekend and we were all like,
Oh, we knew to the country,let's go everywhere.
And it was great.
Um, After that, I guess you getlike friends at work.
(32:37):
Um, so that was also a way oflike meeting new people.
I always end up, and I don'tknow if it's because it's
Auckland and it's somulticultural, but like, I
always end up with a lot ofpeople from different countries.
Um,
Daniel Rock (32:48):
Yeah.
Melodie (32:58):
people and different sort of workplace.
Um, A lot of the people over theyears, what I've noticed is they
left.
So there's also that whole waveof like, people will stay for a
few years and eventually likethis sort of go, um, so suddenly
sort of lost touch with a fewpeople or like make it a bit
(33:20):
harder, but, um, Yeah, there'sthat.
And then, um, when I met mypartner, um, I met him at work
actually.
And it was like, um, I got tomeet all his friends and, um,
most of his friends, like he'dknow them since, um, like
school, like, like it's beenyears that they know each other.
(33:41):
And, um, they really becamelike, um, like a family because
they were, they're such a biggroup.
And, um, I remember like when wehad like, um, And things like
that, like, you know, we'd havelike Christmas together, which
for me, I was like, I've neverhad Christmas with my friends
back home.
That was just not a thing we do.
(34:01):
You just have Christmas withyour family.
So it was sort of a new thingfor me.
And I was like, Oh, I, I likethis.
This is nice.
And, um, so that was lovely.
And
Daniel Rock (34:10):
24
Melodie (34:11):
I met my partner and all that, when I had, um.
Daniel Rock (34:13):
24
Melodie (34:14):
flatmate, um, that I lived with for like a few years.
And she really made me feellike,
Daniel Rock (34:20):
do
Melodie (34:21):
welcome and like part of it because like same, like we
had like Christmas together,like with some of her other
friends, like we were alwayslike, yeah, like, uh,
Daniel Rock (34:31):
things that
Melodie (34:32):
like it felt like we were like, uh, like you said,
like a family, like, um, herparents came to visit.
I got to meet her parents.
Like when my parents came over,we also go and like, you know,
go for dinner and stuff, like itreally felt that way.
And, um, so I guess like,absolutely.
Like you end up having thepeople around you, like become
(34:52):
your family.
Um, but at the same time, it'slike, um, I still.
I don't have like a friendshipquite like the one that I have
back home.
Daniel Rock (35:07):
Okay.
Melodie (35:08):
like, it's a different type of friendship, like, and,
um, I guess we went through,through school and all the drama
and stuff, like with my friendsback home and it's like, we're
more, probably more open, um, oncertain things, but, um, I'd say
it's different type offriendship.
Daniel Rock (35:28):
be
Melodie (35:31):
we're doing things that, yeah, I wouldn't have done
with my friends back home aswell.
So it's like, yeah, I like itbecause I feel like it forced me
also to do
Daniel Rock (35:41):
the
Melodie (35:44):
try, um, new things and to sort of, um, Yeah.
To sort of appreciate evenpeople even more, I think, um,
because suddenly you're like,okay, I'm out there.
I have to, you know, you haveto, you're like, I'm going to
meet people.
I don't really know anyone.
So it was really great that Ihad that friend initially,
because let's be honest.
I think if I was here on my own,I didn't know anyone.
(36:06):
I probably would have been a bitshy and be like, Oh, I don't
know how to meet anyone.
Daniel Rock (36:11):
hard when you don't have that.
You know, I'm very lucky thatI've moved here with my wife and
she's got friends, family in NewZealand.
I moved with a partner whichmade that easier.
But it is a really difficulttransition when you don't know
many people and
Melodie (36:22):
Yes.
Daniel Rock (36:23):
I think as you get older because You
Melodie (36:25):
Oh my God, yes.
Daniel Rock (36:26):
as you get older, it becomes much, much harder to
make friends because we don't,you know, you don't go out of
bars that much anymore.
You don't play as
Melodie (36:33):
He's like, where do you go?
Daniel Rock (36:34):
yeah.
So like, you know, it's, it's,there isn't really that kind of
opportunity that you get whenyou're, you know, in your teens
or your early twenties, when youget to kind of do those things
that kind of.
Make new friends.
And I think that's why you,those friendships you make early
or in childhood become soimportant because they are
Melodie (36:52):
Yes.
Daniel Rock (36:53):
for a really long time.
yeah, I think that's a really,really good point.
Um, thank you so much for yourtime, Melody.
Melodie (37:01):
No, thank you.
Daniel Rock (37:02):
chat.
It was really good.
So you so much.
Um, it's really very muchappreciated.
And to everyone else, thank youso much for
Melodie (37:09):
Okay.
Daniel Rock (37:30):
podcast would be
Melodie (37:31):
Okay.
Daniel Rock (37:31):
if
Melodie (37:31):
Um, you
Daniel Rock (37:52):
lay my hat dot com is my email address.
So please reach out.
And if you'd like to be on theshow, we can have a
conversation.
So again, thank you forlistening and I'll speak to you
soon.
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