February 21, 2025 • 31 mins
10 Little Rules For A Double Butted Adventure: Teri M. Brown's Journey
Join us for an inspiring episode as we sit down with author Teri M. Brown, who shares her incredible journey from being an Air Force brat born in Athens, Greece, to embarking on a life-changing tandem bicycle ride across the United States. Teri and her husband Bruce's adventure raised funds for Toys for Tots and inspired her new book, '10 Little Rules for a Double Butted Adventure.' Tune in to hear about her resilience through personal struggles, the valuable life lessons she learned, and her advice on tackling big, bold challenges.
00:00 Introduction to Teri M. Brown
00:53 Early Life and Aspirations
02:21 Struggles and Personal Growth
03:27 The Life-Changing Adventure
05:44 Reflections on Home and Safety
09:15 Embracing Life's Opportunities
15:39 Family and Traditions
16:59 Redefining Home: A Personal Journey
17:26 A Teenage Move: From Ohio to North Carolina
18:21 Cultural Shock and Assimilation
19:41 Finding Belonging in a New Place
20:08 Reflections on Home and Identity
22:55 The Book: Lessons from a Cross-Country Ride
24:29 Publishing Journey and Imposter Syndrome
27:08 Never Quit on a Bad Day: A Life Lesson
31:01 Final Thoughts and Farewell
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Daniel Rock (00:06):
Born in Athens, Greece as an Air Force brat,
Terry M.
Brown came into the world withan imagination full of stories
to tell.
She now calls North Carolinacoast home and a peaceful nature
of the sea has been a greatsource of inspiration for her
creativity.
Now, unlike some of us, shedidn't let 2020 get the best of
her and Terry chose to go on anadventure that changed her
outlook on life.
(00:26):
She and her husband Bruce rode atandem bicycle across the United
States from Astoria, Oregon toWashington, D.
C., successfully raising moneyfor Toys for Tots, which is a
fantastic charity, which I'm abig fan of.
she learned she's stronger thanshe realized and is capable of
doing anything she sets her mindto.
And she's just recently launcheda new inspirational book, 10
Little Rules for a Double ButtedAdventure.
Welcome, Terry.
(00:47):
I'm really excited to have youon the show.
Really, really, very excited.
Teri M Brown (00:52):
Thank you so much.
Daniel Rock (00:53):
would love to hear a little bit about your
background and kind of yourstory as to how you got, how you
got to where you are now.
Mhm.
Teri M Brown (01:06):
out in Athens, Greece.
I always loved the fact that Iwas not born in a military
hospital, which gave me dualcitizenship until I was 18.
Um, and I, as a kid, boy, Imilked that.
That was great to have somethingdifferent than the other kids.
Thank you.
People have asked me if I'm anauthor and so people have asked
me like, did you always want tobe an author?
(01:26):
And the answer is yes, but Idon't think that I recognized
how much I wanted it because asa kid, I said I wanted to be an
author, but I also said I wantedto be a heart surgeon and I
wanted to be an Olympic iceskater and I can't.
Yeah, Olympic ice skating isnever something that was going
to be part of me, okay?
Like, I can't walk and chew gum,and I don't like the sight of
(01:48):
blood, so I was never going tobe a surgeon either.
So I don't think I knew whatthat meant, but what I knew was
I loved books.
And I, I've had a love affairwith books from, I don't ever
remember not reading.
I've always been a reader.
Um, but then life kind of getsin the way and you, you know,
you grow up and, and you go offto college and your parent says,
(02:09):
writer, no, that isn't going tobe a thing.
You have to have something thatwill make money that you have
to, you know, you're going tohave to have a job, job.
And so, and then I got marriedand I had children and it just,
it just didn't happen.
Um, I ended up as a single momof four.
I remarried and that marriagewas a very bad mistake.
Um, he was emotionally abusive.
(02:31):
I lived in that marriage for 14years because I didn't want to
be divorced a second time.
Um, I'm, I'm stubborn that way.
During that time, I, I reallybegan to know that I wanted to
be an author, but I was tooafraid.
And I think when you're lettingyour soul out on the paper, you
know, and your characters andyour things and you're out there
(02:53):
that you have to have like asafe place to land because, you
know, The world can be kind ofcruel, right?
If they don't like somethingthat you produced, it, you, and
so you need someone who's goingto like wrap you up in a warm
hug.
And I didn't have that.
And so there was no way that Iwas going to write.
Um, I got out of thatrelationship and the words
started falling out of me and Iwrote several manuscripts, but I
(03:16):
was, I was very damaged.
And there was no way that Icould show what I was writing to
anyone.
I met my now husband and I wasnever getting married again.
And that could be a whole notherpodcast.
Um, but he wanted to do thisadventure.
It was something he's wanted todo since 1976 was right across
the United States on a bicycle.
(03:38):
I wanted to do something big andbold because I thought I needed
to prove to people that I stillhad some worth, some value.
Turns out I needed to prove thatto me, but at the time I thought
others that I needed to provethat to.
And I thought, Huh.
Riding a bicycle across theUnited States.
That, that could maybe prove athing or two.
(03:59):
So I asked him, is thissomething you're going to talk
about until the day you die, orare you really doing it?
And he said, no, I really wantto do it.
And I said, count me in.
I had no intention of marryinghim.
I figured that we could just doan adventure together.
And then, you know, if I didn'tlike him at the end of it, we
could just part ways.
Right?
That's was in the end, we gotmarried and then we did the
adventure.
Daniel Rock (04:19):
Yeah.
Teri M Brown (04:46):
this was a dream.
And for me, it was like huge.
It was like well outside of mycomfort zone and as we are
coming the last couple of milesand I realized we've made it and
it makes me get teary when Ithink about it.
I thought, my gosh, I can doanything.
I do anything I set my mind to.
(05:07):
I just rode across the UnitedStates on a bicycle.
I can do anything.
What do I want to do?
And I thought I want to be anauthor and that's kind of where
it started.
I finally then I tell everyonethat that ride we raised money
for toys for tots and I healedmy heart.
Daniel Rock (05:24):
Um,
Teri M Brown (05:26):
You know, and I came out of it and just
recognize it's no longer amatter of can I do something?
It's a matter of do I want toput the energy into doing it?
Is it something I really want?
Because if I really want it.
That I got it.
Daniel Rock (05:40):
I think there's a couple of things in there that
you touched on that I think arereally important.
Um, and I've mentioned thisbefore on a previous episode of
the show that When I was sort ofcoming up with the idea and was
just about to launch and wasthinking about the concepts of
this at home and stuff likethat, there's a bar near where I
(06:01):
live called The Filling Station.
It's a pizza restaurant and barand group in there.
It's very Alabama, right?
It's a great bar and I reallylike it.
And the people are superfriendly and I go there maybe
once a week or so.
And, um, I was sitting therejust talking to some random guy
at the bar just around the yard.
What are you doing?
We're talking about the podcastthing is, you know, you know,
(06:21):
this is gonna be about themeaning of home.
And what does home mean topeople?
And he kind of didn't get it.
He was like, well, surely homeis just where you go each night
is where you sleep.
And I said, to you.
And I think your story saysthat, right?
You in that 14 years, it doesn'tsound like it felt like home
because you never
Teri M Brown (06:42):
No,
Daniel Rock (06:42):
enough to be who you wanted to be.
Teri M Brown (06:44):
exactly.
I, I have Children that livedwith me there through that with
my from my first husband and Idid my best to make it home for
them and make things as good andcalm for them as possible.
So I was taking on the brunt ofthe of the ugly.
(07:05):
to keep things.
But no, I was never I was neverreally safe there.
The only time I felt safe was ifhe went away, you know, when he
wasn't home, then it was safe.
Daniel Rock (07:17):
yeah, and I think that's I think that's a, a
perception that a lot of peopledon't get.
And I think, unfortunately, it'sa perception that a lot of
people live with.
as a part of day to day life.
You know, it's that and I thinkit's one of the reasons I wanted
to do this show is to have thosestories come out.
So it's like actually thewonderful thing about talking to
(07:40):
people is you hear all thedifferent stories.
Now
Teri M Brown (07:42):
Yeah.
Daniel Rock (07:42):
wonderful to hear someone's gone through trauma.
That's never a wonderful thingto hear.
But it's a really importantthing to show that there are is
another side.
You can
Teri M Brown (07:52):
Yeah.
I tell people, I tell people allthe time there is life on the
other side, you know, and is iteasy to get to it?
Not necessarily.
Is it going to take some work?
Yes, it is.
Are you going to get out of abad relationship and immediately
life is good?
No, that's not the way it works,but there is, there can be joy
and happiness and, and successand love and all of those things
(08:16):
that you seek.
It's there.
You just have to figure out howto get from where you are to
where it is.
Daniel Rock (08:22):
Yeah, and I think it's a really important thing.
Also, someone who's been twicedivorced.
And when I met my current wife,um, and forever wife, I don't
think she
Teri M Brown (08:32):
Yes,
Daniel Rock (08:32):
I say current life.
Um, the It was, we had nointention of getting married
either.
Us.
We'd both been through it.
It, we would both kind of
Teri M Brown (08:41):
jaded.
Daniel Rock (08:42):
pieces.
Like this was horrible.
It was hard.
It, you know,
Teri M Brown (08:46):
Not worth it.
Daniel Rock (08:47):
no.
And then I think when you meetthe right person, as I sincerely
believe it had, that will changeus because
Teri M Brown (08:54):
Yes, it does.
Yeah,
Daniel Rock (08:57):
just makes sense.
And, you know, I was in my midforties when I met Katie and
things happen.
We now have a beautiful 18month, old daughter and I now
live in the South, the deepSouth, like the deep, deep South
of America.
And these are not things Ithought were going to be in my
plan.
Teri M Brown (09:14):
right, right.
Daniel Rock (09:15):
I do think it's I think one of the things I really
like about stories is that beingopen to what life gives you and
then taking those opportunitiesbecause I think life will give
you the opportunities won'tnecessarily give you the
answers.
And I think if you grab hold ofthe opportunities, you get to
choose what you make of it.
Teri M Brown (09:34):
Yeah,
Daniel Rock (09:35):
really love the story about, you know, getting
on the bike and it's not yourthing.
It was a husband's dream, but itbecame yours as well.
And I
Teri M Brown (09:41):
it did.
And I, and I think for me, likeI said, I felt that I needed to
prove to people, you know, Iwas, I was, I was 56 when we did
this and I thought I was 57 whenwe did this and I thought, you
know, I don't have anythingleft, you know, I'm, I'm washed
up old.
I'm just going to just sit onthe sidelines of life until I
(10:03):
die.
I mean, that's the way I feltbecause I'd been through 14
years of just yuck and I justcouldn't see that there was
going to be anything.
Much better for me other than,well, I'll have some
grandchildren I can enjoy andthat's going to kind of be my
life.
And I started feeling like, no,maybe there's more to me, but I
need to prove that I need toprove that I've got something
(10:23):
left in me.
And that trip proved to me thatit was first of all me that
needed proving.
I don't think most people feltthat way about me.
I, it was me.
And, and then it was like, wow,everything opened up.
I learned so much when you'resitting on the, on a tandem
bicycle hours every day, all theway across the United States.
(10:44):
You have a lot of time to thinkand reflect and, and work stuff
out that you don't in normallife because in normal life, you
know, there's dishes that haveto be done and groceries that
have to be bought and peoplethat need this and that and
television shows and all of theother things that kind of like
bombard you.
And so you just take all of theyuck that you have and you just
(11:04):
bury it down and never reallydeal with it.
But on the back of a bike,there's you, you, you, and you
and your mind is going and youjust start sorting it out and
fixing it as you go.
It was, it was, I, I highlyrecommend that everybody in
their life finds something bigand bold, not necessarily an
(11:25):
athletic adventure, butsomething that they don't really
believe is.
Something that they ever thoughtthey could do and then do it
like, like really test yourself,open up those bounds and like,
just give it a go.
Daniel Rock (11:42):
Uh, it's interesting.
I was my regular day job.
We were talking a little bit Um,there's all the end of year wrap
up because my team of mostlystill based in New Zealand, one
in Australia, one in the States,but a fairly mixed.
And so death in New Zealand,it's summer.
So over Christmas, they take twoweeks off, you know, so they're
off from the 20th until thesixth level.
(12:03):
And, um, so we're doing a bit ofan end of year wrap up and talk
around these things.
And I think, you know, thequestion that got asked in a
team meeting is what have youlearned from this year?
Now, what?
What's been your learning fromthis year?
And I was thinking about him.
If this has been a pretty bigyear, I've changed countries
and, you know, done things havedone a lot of travel again for
work.
And, know, my daughter's beengrowing up.
(12:25):
My daughter's got some healthchallenges and some and some
special needs.
So, you know, there's been a lotof learning and
Teri M Brown (12:31):
Right?
Daniel Rock (12:33):
what I think is really interesting for it.
And this is what sort of yourbig and bold thing is.
it's something I've alwaysbelieved is life's too short for
what ifs.
You know, and I think I wouldhate to go and go, well, what if
I had, I'd much rather go core,I wish I hadn't.
Teri M Brown (12:49):
Yes,
Daniel Rock (12:50):
then what if I had, because I think.
If you leave those questions onunanswered, that's where you
miss out on happened, you know,choosing to move countries in my
mid forties and, you know,leaving a
Teri M Brown (13:02):
that's a
Daniel Rock (13:02):
and close friend network,
Teri M Brown (13:04):
that's tough.
That's scary.
Daniel Rock (13:06):
know,
Teri M Brown (13:06):
Yeah,
Daniel Rock (13:07):
in New Zealand where I was.
And, you know, I did that when Iwas 22 as well.
I moved from the UK to NewZealand.
So I've done it twice and youkind of go, they're big steps.
And I still remember 22 when Idid it.
My mom, who did not in any way,shape or form want me to leave
England at 22.
She was like, you got to do itbecause you're just going to go,
what if?
And I think the lesson that shesaid to me is nothing's
(13:28):
undoable, right?
You can always come home.
You can always go back.
You know, most things in lifeare not undoable.
You can always
Teri M Brown (13:36):
yeah, you can, you can find a way to fix it or to
move forward from it and say,okay, that didn't work.
Where are we going from here?
You know, there's very fewthings that are truly permanent.
I no longer believe in bucketlists.
I hear people talk about bucketlist items and my thought is is
either put it on your list forthis year, get it off your list.
(13:56):
You're either doing it or you'renot doing it.
Don't make it a bucket list.
I don't want to die withanything on my list, you know,
go ahead and do it because youdon't know what's coming down
the pike.
So you put it on list and yousay, well, I'm going to do that
17 years from now when weretire.
You don't know that you getthat.
If it's something that meansenough to you that you're going
(14:16):
to put it on a 17 year longlist, find a way to do it.
Now, you know, I, I'm just myhusband and I wrote across the
United States during COVIDsummer.
Okay, we canceled our trip andthen decided, okay, things are
opening up enough.
We think we can make it.
I am so glad we did.
(14:36):
My husband now has cancer.
We wouldn't be able to do thisif we had waited.
Yeah, if we had waited, therewould have been no trip.
And this trip is the thing thathas gotten us through this whole
cancer journey because welearned so much about one
another and so much aboutourselves and so many fabulous
life lessons that we've beenable to apply to going through
(14:57):
this whole journey.
And it would have, yeah, andthat would have been a regret
and then we would have sataround.
Not only would he have cancer,but then we would also have the
regret.
Well, we never got to go acrossthe United States on a bike.
Daniel Rock (15:11):
Yeah, and I think that's the thing you could deal
with.
And I think that's one of thethings that, you know, as you
approach things that haven'tgone well, you don't want to
have other things you'd wishyou'd done.
Teri M Brown (15:21):
Yeah,
Daniel Rock (15:21):
Right.
And I think that's that piece.
And I think that's been reallyimportant to us with Lily and
being around family and thosesort of things.
It's that we want to make surethat we're giving everybody the
opportunities that we need us,our daughter, families, all of
that sort of
Teri M Brown (15:36):
exactly.
Daniel Rock (15:38):
crucial thing.
One of the other things we sortof talked about a little bit at
the start before we startedrecording was your journey as a
young source.
So you stopped being an AirForce brat fairly young, you
told me.
But then there
Teri M Brown (15:49):
Yeah.
Daniel Rock (15:49):
A fairly big step change.
And obviously you had your Greekpassport and all those things.
So we'd love to hear a littlebit more about that journey as
well.
And kind of what that did toyour kind of how you felt about
home going from this probablyfairly nomadic lifestyle to
Midwest to the
Teri M Brown (16:06):
Yeah, so I think, I think for me, home has always
been where people that love meare.
You know, like it didn't, itdidn't have to be a place.
Um, I know a lot of people andsome of me kind of wishes that I
had this like, oh, we always gohome to grandma's house.
It's the family home.
(16:26):
It's been in the home forgenerations.
Everybody goes there at the endof the year.
We all get.
We don't have that.
My family did a lot more moving.
Even my extended family did alot more moving there.
There isn't a location to go to.
And so because of that, we kindof more or less like created
traditions that you did whereveryou happen to be.
(16:47):
So if you are, you know, whetheryou're in Ohio or whether you're
in North Carolina or wherever,there are certain things that
you do.
There are certain cookies thatyou bake at Christmas and there
are certain, there's just thingsthat you do.
And so I kind of feel like homedoesn't really have to be about
the space.
As much as it's about a feelinglike I even felt like my husband
(17:09):
and I had home going across theUnited States He and I were
together.
We would put up our tent wherewe were, what we were
experiencing.
That was that was home for them.
You know, we would FaceTime kidsand and do those kinds of
things.
But when I was 15, so we'd beenin Ohio for some time.
(17:30):
I was very happy.
I came home from school 1 day,the middle of my freshman year.
in high school and my house wasfor sale and my parents had
decided that dad was tired ofthe winter.
He was tired of working for hisdad.
He wanted a fresh start.
I think he was having a midlifecrisis, but you know, whatever.
And the next thing, you know,we've moved from Ohio to North
(17:51):
Carolina, a place I had nevereven visited.
And I was in the middle of myfreshman year and I hated my
parents for several months.
I was,
Daniel Rock (18:00):
I
Teri M Brown (18:00):
I was one, yes, I was one very unhappy camper.
My parents told me that if aftera year, if my brother and I
still were unhappy, that theywould move back to Ohio.
And I had every intention ofremaining unhappy for one year
so we could go back home.
I mean, I had zero intention ofassimilating.
I did not want to be there.
(18:21):
Um, and it was a difficult move.
The, the accent was verydifferent.
There were actually people whospoke to me and I had no idea
what they were saying.
Um, There were expressions inOhio.
You never sit in North Carolina.
When you say hello, you say,Hey, how are you?
Hey, well, up in Ohio, you onlysay, Hey, when you're angry.
(18:42):
Hey, get out of there.
Hey, what are you doing?
Well, for the first two or threedays at school, I was a nervous
wreck.
Hey, Hey, Hey, you know, like,what am I doing?
Am I in the wrong spot?
Right?
Um, it was, you know, And, andyou're trying to make friends in
the middle of a year.
And I dressed all wrong in whereI lived in Ohio.
Everyone dressed up for school.
(19:03):
You tucked in your shirt, youwore khakis, you wore little
espadrille shoes.
You had a little scarf in yourhair and I get down here and
everyone's wearing jeans and tshirts.
All the girls have boy Levi'son.
They're wearing converse tennisshoes and t shirts that hanging
out.
And I show up on my first daylooking like the queen, you
know?
And it was like, Oh, I went homeand told my mom.
(19:24):
We got to go to the store andbuy me some, some boys Levi's
and she said, you look terriblein those.
And it was like, not a problem.
Daniel Rock (19:34):
It's about assimilation at this
Teri M Brown (19:35):
Yes, it's, it has nothing, that's nothing to do
with that, you know?
And so yeah, it was very hard,but.
All it took was about six weeksin, I met a girl who took me
under her wing and introduced meto all of her friends.
And before long, I was going oncamping trips and I was, you
know, I had a family, you know,I had a home and all of a sudden
(20:01):
it was like, okay, I'm okay.
Well, now at this point, I'velived in North Carolina since
1979.
And when people say, where areyou from?
I don't know what to tell thembecause in North Carolina, if
you weren't born here, you'renot from here, but I'm from
here, like in my mind, I knowsooner belong in Ohio anymore.
(20:23):
I mean, there are a fewrelatives, distant relatives
there.
Um, I wouldn't mind going backfor like, you know, a four day
vacation, but I there's nothingthere that is me anymore.
So, you know, I just think homeis, is it's where you make it,
Daniel Rock (20:40):
I
Teri M Brown (20:40):
right?
Daniel Rock (20:41):
could not agree more.
And that's battle in some ways.
Um, my brain, I go for it.
So I was lived in the UK till Iwas 22.
I moved New Zealand and spent.
The better part of 23 yearsliving there.
And now I live here.
So I live here.
This is home.
This is where my family is,where my daughter is, where my
wife is, you know, my, myextended, my, my immediate
(21:04):
family are in Spain or the UK.
I go back to the UK couple, twoto three times a year at the
moment for work.
And it does not feel like home.
Teri M Brown (21:14):
It's not home.
Daniel Rock (21:15):
what's really interesting is.
here.
I get asked quite a lot.
You know, where are you from?
You know?
And after I wanted to not killthe person who said, are you
from Australia?
Which for an Englishman who'slived in New Zealand for 20
years is about the
Teri M Brown (21:30):
That's okay.
Okay.
Daniel Rock (21:32):
I've said that a couple of times on the show, and
it's like it doesn't get easier.
Um, but then there's that.
Well, I'm from the UK.
That's where I grew up and Istill support, you know, all the
English sports teams and all ofthat kind of stuff.
But New Zealand is probably the
Teri M Brown (21:50):
More your home.
Yeah.
Daniel Rock (21:53):
But what was really interesting for me on that is I
went back there.
for work.
And it was a fleeting visit.
I didn't really catch up withany friends.
It was very odd, but it didn'tfeel like I thought it was going
to when I went back for work acouple of weeks ago, a few at
the start of November.
So it is very, I think that thatwhole where am I from home is
Teri M Brown (22:12):
Yeah.
Daniel Rock (22:13):
at
Teri M Brown (22:13):
People ask me, people will say, where are you
from?
And it's like, so I always dothat.
So if you're asking where I wasborn, that would be Athens,
Greece.
If you're asking where I did agood part of my younger years
growing up, that would be Ohio.
If you're asking where I feellike I'm from, that would be
North Carolina, but I've alsolived in many locations in North
(22:35):
Carolina.
So it's not like I've been inone spot.
I've lived in many places inNorth Carolina.
And, and so where am I from?
Where would you like me to befrom?
You tell me, you tell me theanswer you're looking for and
then I'll give you where I'mfrom.
So yeah.
Daniel Rock (22:56):
So tell me a little bit more about, um, your book
and kind of how
Teri M Brown (23:00):
Yeah.
Daniel Rock (23:01):
because obviously you, you did the tan and ride in
2020 and then
Teri M Brown (23:06):
Yeah.
Daniel Rock (23:07):
of novels
Teri M Brown (23:08):
Yes.
Right.
Daniel Rock (23:10):
then sort of 2024, written the book about what
happened in 2020.
So talk to me a little bit aboutthat, how that came about and
kind of, yeah.
Tell me a little bit more aboutthe
Teri M Brown (23:21):
Yeah.
So, so the book is, it's 10little rules.
It's things that I learned aboutlife and myself while riding
across the United States.
And I tell people, you'll learna lot about the, the trip, the
things, but it is not a travellog.
If you want to know a day byday, travel log, I kept a blog,
have at it.
(23:41):
You can read everything.
You can see every time I criedon the side of the road.
I mean, you know, you've got itall, but this is more like what,
yeah.
When I walked away from it, whatdid I walk away with?
What were those lessons in thatknowledge?
I had every intention of writingthis book from the beginning.
I knew when I wrote that I wouldwant to write a book about this
(24:02):
trip.
I didn't recognize until I gothome that I had these lessons
that I had learned.
I didn't know that was going tohappen when we started out.
I knew I would write something.
I didn't, I didn't recognizethis is what it would be.
And I actually wrote.
Daniel Rock (24:19):
Okay.
Teri M Brown (24:27):
place to publish it.
I, I felt like it, it doesn'treally belong with my novels.
My novels are historical fictionand they're completely, you
know, made up stuff in my headand I love writing that and will
write more of those.
This was something different andI thought it needed, I needed it
to have a good home.
So, you know, talking abouthomes, I needed it to, to feel
(24:50):
like it wasn't just a bookstuffed in with a bunch of other
books where it was going to getlost in the crowd.
And I met a woman
Daniel Rock (24:57):
it
Teri M Brown (24:58):
written a book called Ten Little Rules for a
Blissy Life.
Daniel Rock (25:02):
the
Teri M Brown (25:03):
she lived here and then moved away and we had kept
in touch.
And I found out that, Throughanother friend, and I didn't
even realize it, that she had alittle publishing company called
Ten Little Rules, and she wasaccumulating
Daniel Rock (25:17):
there's
Teri M Brown (25:18):
people that had done things that they felt like
would make a good book on, like,life lessons, things that you
learn, etc.
And I thought, that Sounds likeit might be a fit.
Well, I, I still have a littlebit of imposter syndrome and I
was afraid to bring it up to herbecause I thought, you know, oh,
(25:38):
I don't want to like, I don'twant her to feel obligated and I
don't want it to ruin any kindof weird.
I don't want it to be weird.
And I finally got to the pointwhere it was right now.
Your book is not published.
If you talk to her and shedoesn't want the manuscript,
your book is still notpublished.
Nothing has changed.
Okay.
Daniel Rock (25:57):
Yeah.
Teri M Brown (25:58):
Right.
If you do talk to her and shedoes want the book,
Daniel Rock (26:02):
Oh,
Teri M Brown (26:16):
got back to me right away.
She said, I've always wonderedif you were going to write a
book about that trip.
I would love to see what you'vegot.
So I told her, I said, it's,it's sad right now.
Like it is not.
I would never show this tosomeone in this format, but let
me show you what I have.
And you tell me if you thinkthat, that we could massage this
(26:36):
into, and she wrote back and shesaid, it's not going to take
much massage.
I love it.
Let's do it.
And so I knew right away.
So, you know, talking abouthomes, this book, I had taught,
I had thought it was going to belessons learned.
And now it's 10 little rulesbecause that's what there's, but
it just worked and it wasexactly, it was exactly what I
(26:58):
needed to do.
And then I was able to, to gothrough and find that the things
that I felt would benefit peoplethe most, like what, what did I
really learn?
And for instance, one of mythings is never quit on a bad
day.
Daniel Rock (27:12):
yeah.
Teri M Brown (27:13):
So we had a horrible day.
There was a day that was so bad.
We went 70 miles, which is on atandem bicycle is a very long
day and it was hot and it washilly when we had been told it
was going to be relatively flat.
We had three flat tires and itwas, it was a horrible day.
And by the time we finished andthe wind was blowing the wrong
(27:35):
direction.
So we were into the wind thewhole day.
And by the time we were done, wewere like halfway through
Montana.
And I thought, I'm not havingfun.
I hate this.
We're done.
I'm just, I'm not,
Daniel Rock (27:49):
Why
Teri M Brown (27:50):
I'm not yet.
I'm not.
Yeah.
I'm not doing this anymore.
And I was writing a blog and Ihad put the blog out and
immediately I had a friend reachout to me who said, I think that
what you've done so far isamazing and if you decide to
quit now, nobody would faultyou.
However, I have some advice.
Don't quit on a bad day becauseyou'll always wonder, could I
(28:15):
have gone on would, you know,would one more day have made a
difference?
She said, no, that this has beena bad day.
Ride a few more days.
And if at the end of giveyourself a time frame, you still
say, this is not fun.
Then you're making a decisionbased on facts and not feelings.
(28:36):
Well, the next day was fabulous.
It was a beautiful day.
We flew through the day.
The wind was at our back.
There was a storm behind us andit literally blew us into the
next town.
And it was, it was amazing.
And we didn't quit and we madeit the whole way across and I
have used that idea of don'tquit on a bad day over and over
(28:57):
and over again, where you think,I can't do this anymore.
And it's like, and today's a badday.
So, today's Monday, if onFriday, I still feel this way.
Then we'll change course.
And sometimes you still feelthat way and you decide, yes,
indeed quitting is exactly whatis the right thing to do.
(29:20):
And other times you realize, no,it was just a bad day.
I
Daniel Rock (29:24):
Yeah.
Teri M Brown (29:24):
don't we all have them?
There are days that I don't wantto be married.
There are days I don't want tobe a mother.
There are days that I don't, butI really want to be all those
things.
Right.
Daniel Rock (29:33):
I, I, I think that is a wonderful sentiment and
it's probably a great sentimentto finish on, to be perfectly
honest, which is the
Teri M Brown (29:39):
Yeah.
Daniel Rock (29:40):
quit on a bad day.
I think that is you think aboutthe things you might miss out on
because you give
Teri M Brown (29:46):
Yeah.
Daniel Rock (29:47):
get hard, you know, it's, yeah, it's, I think that
Teri M Brown (29:50):
And like I said, it's okay, it's okay to give up.
It is okay to decide todetermine what I'm doing right
now makes no sense for meanymore, you know, and it's
okay.
Like, if you had moved to NewZealand and decided you really
didn't like it.
It would have been okay to saymade a poor decision.
It's okay to go home,
Daniel Rock (30:09):
Yeah.
Teri M Brown (30:13):
think, oh, if I had stuck it out, would it, you
know, so it's that idea ofgiving yourself more time to not
quit in a, in the moment ofemotion, you know, when things
really are crappy, we all wantto quit.
I mean, I don't know anybody whogoes through something really
crappy and goes, woohoo, let'sdo that again.
Right.
(30:35):
And so I think that's the ideaof, of, can you take a step
back, give yourself a littlemore space.
And then make an actual decisionwith facts instead of just this
emotional, it's been a horribleday.
We had 3 flat tires.
The wind's been against us.
I'm so exhausted.
I still have to figure out howto get across the street to eat
at a stupid, greasy burgerplace.
(30:55):
I just want to go home.
I mean, you know, so
Daniel Rock (31:01):
I hear you and thank you so much for coming on
Terry.
It's been
Teri M Brown (31:05):
you for having me.
Daniel Rock (31:06):
Um, I will include a link to the book in our show
notes.
Um,
Teri M Brown (31:11):
Fantastic.
Daniel Rock (31:12):
thank you so much for sharing your journey and
it's been a really funconversation.
I've really enjoyed it today.
So thank you again so much.
Teri M Brown (31:18):
Thank you.
Daniel Rock (31:18):
thank you all for listening to this episode of
wherever I lay my hat.
Um, it's been great fun.
I really enjoy doing theseshows.
If you would like to share yourstory, please reach out again,
Dan at wherever I lay my hat.
com and please do the usualthings like subscribe, hit the
notification bell on YouTube, areview or a comment on Apple
podcast Amazon music that allhelps the show grow and helps us
(31:42):
get coverage and sell it, tellmore stories.
So again, thank you so much andhave fun.
Born in Athens, Greece as an Air Force brat,
Terry M.
Brown came into the world withan imagination full of stories
to tell.
She now calls North Carolinacoast home and a peaceful nature
of the sea has been a greatsource of inspiration for her
creativity.
Now, unlike some of us, shedidn't let 2020 get the best of
her and Terry chose to go on anadventure that changed her
outlook on life.
(00:26):
She and her husband Bruce rode atandem bicycle across the United
States from Astoria, Oregon toWashington, D.
C., successfully raising moneyfor Toys for Tots, which is a
fantastic charity, which I'm abig fan of.
she learned she's stronger thanshe realized and is capable of
doing anything she sets her mindto.
And she's just recently launcheda new inspirational book, 10
Little Rules for a Double ButtedAdventure.
Welcome, Terry.
(00:47):
I'm really excited to have youon the show.
Really, really, very excited.
Teri M Brown (00:52):
Thank you so much.
Daniel Rock (00:53):
would love to hear a little bit about your
background and kind of yourstory as to how you got, how you
got to where you are now.
Mhm.
Teri M Brown (01:06):
out in Athens, Greece.
I always loved the fact that Iwas not born in a military
hospital, which gave me dualcitizenship until I was 18.
Um, and I, as a kid, boy, Imilked that.
That was great to have somethingdifferent than the other kids.
Thank you.
People have asked me if I'm anauthor and so people have asked
me like, did you always want tobe an author?
(01:26):
And the answer is yes, but Idon't think that I recognized
how much I wanted it because asa kid, I said I wanted to be an
author, but I also said I wantedto be a heart surgeon and I
wanted to be an Olympic iceskater and I can't.
Yeah, Olympic ice skating isnever something that was going
to be part of me, okay?
Like, I can't walk and chew gum,and I don't like the sight of
(01:48):
blood, so I was never going tobe a surgeon either.
So I don't think I knew whatthat meant, but what I knew was
I loved books.
And I, I've had a love affairwith books from, I don't ever
remember not reading.
I've always been a reader.
Um, but then life kind of getsin the way and you, you know,
you grow up and, and you go offto college and your parent says,
(02:09):
writer, no, that isn't going tobe a thing.
You have to have something thatwill make money that you have
to, you know, you're going tohave to have a job, job.
And so, and then I got marriedand I had children and it just,
it just didn't happen.
Um, I ended up as a single momof four.
I remarried and that marriagewas a very bad mistake.
Um, he was emotionally abusive.
(02:31):
I lived in that marriage for 14years because I didn't want to
be divorced a second time.
Um, I'm, I'm stubborn that way.
During that time, I, I reallybegan to know that I wanted to
be an author, but I was tooafraid.
And I think when you're lettingyour soul out on the paper, you
know, and your characters andyour things and you're out there
(02:53):
that you have to have like asafe place to land because, you
know, The world can be kind ofcruel, right?
If they don't like somethingthat you produced, it, you, and
so you need someone who's goingto like wrap you up in a warm
hug.
And I didn't have that.
And so there was no way that Iwas going to write.
Um, I got out of thatrelationship and the words
started falling out of me and Iwrote several manuscripts, but I
(03:16):
was, I was very damaged.
And there was no way that Icould show what I was writing to
anyone.
I met my now husband and I wasnever getting married again.
And that could be a whole notherpodcast.
Um, but he wanted to do thisadventure.
It was something he's wanted todo since 1976 was right across
the United States on a bicycle.
(03:38):
I wanted to do something big andbold because I thought I needed
to prove to people that I stillhad some worth, some value.
Turns out I needed to prove thatto me, but at the time I thought
others that I needed to provethat to.
And I thought, Huh.
Riding a bicycle across theUnited States.
That, that could maybe prove athing or two.
(03:59):
So I asked him, is thissomething you're going to talk
about until the day you die, orare you really doing it?
And he said, no, I really wantto do it.
And I said, count me in.
I had no intention of marryinghim.
I figured that we could just doan adventure together.
And then, you know, if I didn'tlike him at the end of it, we
could just part ways.
Right?
That's was in the end, we gotmarried and then we did the
adventure.
Daniel Rock (04:19):
Yeah.
Teri M Brown (04:46):
this was a dream.
And for me, it was like huge.
It was like well outside of mycomfort zone and as we are
coming the last couple of milesand I realized we've made it and
it makes me get teary when Ithink about it.
I thought, my gosh, I can doanything.
I do anything I set my mind to.
(05:07):
I just rode across the UnitedStates on a bicycle.
I can do anything.
What do I want to do?
And I thought I want to be anauthor and that's kind of where
it started.
I finally then I tell everyonethat that ride we raised money
for toys for tots and I healedmy heart.
Daniel Rock (05:24):
Um,
Teri M Brown (05:26):
You know, and I came out of it and just
recognize it's no longer amatter of can I do something?
It's a matter of do I want toput the energy into doing it?
Is it something I really want?
Because if I really want it.
That I got it.
Daniel Rock (05:40):
I think there's a couple of things in there that
you touched on that I think arereally important.
Um, and I've mentioned thisbefore on a previous episode of
the show that When I was sort ofcoming up with the idea and was
just about to launch and wasthinking about the concepts of
this at home and stuff likethat, there's a bar near where I
(06:01):
live called The Filling Station.
It's a pizza restaurant and barand group in there.
It's very Alabama, right?
It's a great bar and I reallylike it.
And the people are superfriendly and I go there maybe
once a week or so.
And, um, I was sitting therejust talking to some random guy
at the bar just around the yard.
What are you doing?
We're talking about the podcastthing is, you know, you know,
(06:21):
this is gonna be about themeaning of home.
And what does home mean topeople?
And he kind of didn't get it.
He was like, well, surely homeis just where you go each night
is where you sleep.
And I said, to you.
And I think your story saysthat, right?
You in that 14 years, it doesn'tsound like it felt like home
because you never
Teri M Brown (06:42):
No,
Daniel Rock (06:42):
enough to be who you wanted to be.
Teri M Brown (06:44):
exactly.
I, I have Children that livedwith me there through that with
my from my first husband and Idid my best to make it home for
them and make things as good andcalm for them as possible.
So I was taking on the brunt ofthe of the ugly.
(07:05):
to keep things.
But no, I was never I was neverreally safe there.
The only time I felt safe was ifhe went away, you know, when he
wasn't home, then it was safe.
Daniel Rock (07:17):
yeah, and I think that's I think that's a, a
perception that a lot of peopledon't get.
And I think, unfortunately, it'sa perception that a lot of
people live with.
as a part of day to day life.
You know, it's that and I thinkit's one of the reasons I wanted
to do this show is to have thosestories come out.
So it's like actually thewonderful thing about talking to
(07:40):
people is you hear all thedifferent stories.
Now
Teri M Brown (07:42):
Yeah.
Daniel Rock (07:42):
wonderful to hear someone's gone through trauma.
That's never a wonderful thingto hear.
But it's a really importantthing to show that there are is
another side.
You can
Teri M Brown (07:52):
Yeah.
I tell people, I tell people allthe time there is life on the
other side, you know, and is iteasy to get to it?
Not necessarily.
Is it going to take some work?
Yes, it is.
Are you going to get out of abad relationship and immediately
life is good?
No, that's not the way it works,but there is, there can be joy
and happiness and, and successand love and all of those things
(08:16):
that you seek.
It's there.
You just have to figure out howto get from where you are to
where it is.
Daniel Rock (08:22):
Yeah, and I think it's a really important thing.
Also, someone who's been twicedivorced.
And when I met my current wife,um, and forever wife, I don't
think she
Teri M Brown (08:32):
Yes,
Daniel Rock (08:32):
I say current life.
Um, the It was, we had nointention of getting married
either.
Us.
We'd both been through it.
It, we would both kind of
Teri M Brown (08:41):
jaded.
Daniel Rock (08:42):
pieces.
Like this was horrible.
It was hard.
It, you know,
Teri M Brown (08:46):
Not worth it.
Daniel Rock (08:47):
no.
And then I think when you meetthe right person, as I sincerely
believe it had, that will changeus because
Teri M Brown (08:54):
Yes, it does.
Yeah,
Daniel Rock (08:57):
just makes sense.
And, you know, I was in my midforties when I met Katie and
things happen.
We now have a beautiful 18month, old daughter and I now
live in the South, the deepSouth, like the deep, deep South
of America.
And these are not things Ithought were going to be in my
plan.
Teri M Brown (09:14):
right, right.
Daniel Rock (09:15):
I do think it's I think one of the things I really
like about stories is that beingopen to what life gives you and
then taking those opportunitiesbecause I think life will give
you the opportunities won'tnecessarily give you the
answers.
And I think if you grab hold ofthe opportunities, you get to
choose what you make of it.
Teri M Brown (09:34):
Yeah,
Daniel Rock (09:35):
really love the story about, you know, getting
on the bike and it's not yourthing.
It was a husband's dream, but itbecame yours as well.
And I
Teri M Brown (09:41):
it did.
And I, and I think for me, likeI said, I felt that I needed to
prove to people, you know, Iwas, I was, I was 56 when we did
this and I thought I was 57 whenwe did this and I thought, you
know, I don't have anythingleft, you know, I'm, I'm washed
up old.
I'm just going to just sit onthe sidelines of life until I
(10:03):
die.
I mean, that's the way I feltbecause I'd been through 14
years of just yuck and I justcouldn't see that there was
going to be anything.
Much better for me other than,well, I'll have some
grandchildren I can enjoy andthat's going to kind of be my
life.
And I started feeling like, no,maybe there's more to me, but I
need to prove that I need toprove that I've got something
(10:23):
left in me.
And that trip proved to me thatit was first of all me that
needed proving.
I don't think most people feltthat way about me.
I, it was me.
And, and then it was like, wow,everything opened up.
I learned so much when you'resitting on the, on a tandem
bicycle hours every day, all theway across the United States.
(10:44):
You have a lot of time to thinkand reflect and, and work stuff
out that you don't in normallife because in normal life, you
know, there's dishes that haveto be done and groceries that
have to be bought and peoplethat need this and that and
television shows and all of theother things that kind of like
bombard you.
And so you just take all of theyuck that you have and you just
(11:04):
bury it down and never reallydeal with it.
But on the back of a bike,there's you, you, you, and you
and your mind is going and youjust start sorting it out and
fixing it as you go.
It was, it was, I, I highlyrecommend that everybody in
their life finds something bigand bold, not necessarily an
(11:25):
athletic adventure, butsomething that they don't really
believe is.
Something that they ever thoughtthey could do and then do it
like, like really test yourself,open up those bounds and like,
just give it a go.
Daniel Rock (11:42):
Uh, it's interesting.
I was my regular day job.
We were talking a little bit Um,there's all the end of year wrap
up because my team of mostlystill based in New Zealand, one
in Australia, one in the States,but a fairly mixed.
And so death in New Zealand,it's summer.
So over Christmas, they take twoweeks off, you know, so they're
off from the 20th until thesixth level.
(12:03):
And, um, so we're doing a bit ofan end of year wrap up and talk
around these things.
And I think, you know, thequestion that got asked in a
team meeting is what have youlearned from this year?
Now, what?
What's been your learning fromthis year?
And I was thinking about him.
If this has been a pretty bigyear, I've changed countries
and, you know, done things havedone a lot of travel again for
work.
And, know, my daughter's beengrowing up.
(12:25):
My daughter's got some healthchallenges and some and some
special needs.
So, you know, there's been a lotof learning and
Teri M Brown (12:31):
Right?
Daniel Rock (12:33):
what I think is really interesting for it.
And this is what sort of yourbig and bold thing is.
it's something I've alwaysbelieved is life's too short for
what ifs.
You know, and I think I wouldhate to go and go, well, what if
I had, I'd much rather go core,I wish I hadn't.
Teri M Brown (12:49):
Yes,
Daniel Rock (12:50):
then what if I had, because I think.
If you leave those questions onunanswered, that's where you
miss out on happened, you know,choosing to move countries in my
mid forties and, you know,leaving a
Teri M Brown (13:02):
that's a
Daniel Rock (13:02):
and close friend network,
Teri M Brown (13:04):
that's tough.
That's scary.
Daniel Rock (13:06):
know,
Teri M Brown (13:06):
Yeah,
Daniel Rock (13:07):
in New Zealand where I was.
And, you know, I did that when Iwas 22 as well.
I moved from the UK to NewZealand.
So I've done it twice and youkind of go, they're big steps.
And I still remember 22 when Idid it.
My mom, who did not in any way,shape or form want me to leave
England at 22.
She was like, you got to do itbecause you're just going to go,
what if?
And I think the lesson that shesaid to me is nothing's
(13:28):
undoable, right?
You can always come home.
You can always go back.
You know, most things in lifeare not undoable.
You can always
Teri M Brown (13:36):
yeah, you can, you can find a way to fix it or to
move forward from it and say,okay, that didn't work.
Where are we going from here?
You know, there's very fewthings that are truly permanent.
I no longer believe in bucketlists.
I hear people talk about bucketlist items and my thought is is
either put it on your list forthis year, get it off your list.
(13:56):
You're either doing it or you'renot doing it.
Don't make it a bucket list.
I don't want to die withanything on my list, you know,
go ahead and do it because youdon't know what's coming down
the pike.
So you put it on list and yousay, well, I'm going to do that
17 years from now when weretire.
You don't know that you getthat.
If it's something that meansenough to you that you're going
(14:16):
to put it on a 17 year longlist, find a way to do it.
Now, you know, I, I'm just myhusband and I wrote across the
United States during COVIDsummer.
Okay, we canceled our trip andthen decided, okay, things are
opening up enough.
We think we can make it.
I am so glad we did.
(14:36):
My husband now has cancer.
We wouldn't be able to do thisif we had waited.
Yeah, if we had waited, therewould have been no trip.
And this trip is the thing thathas gotten us through this whole
cancer journey because welearned so much about one
another and so much aboutourselves and so many fabulous
life lessons that we've beenable to apply to going through
(14:57):
this whole journey.
And it would have, yeah, andthat would have been a regret
and then we would have sataround.
Not only would he have cancer,but then we would also have the
regret.
Well, we never got to go acrossthe United States on a bike.
Daniel Rock (15:11):
Yeah, and I think that's the thing you could deal
with.
And I think that's one of thethings that, you know, as you
approach things that haven'tgone well, you don't want to
have other things you'd wishyou'd done.
Teri M Brown (15:21):
Yeah,
Daniel Rock (15:21):
Right.
And I think that's that piece.
And I think that's been reallyimportant to us with Lily and
being around family and thosesort of things.
It's that we want to make surethat we're giving everybody the
opportunities that we need us,our daughter, families, all of
that sort of
Teri M Brown (15:36):
exactly.
Daniel Rock (15:38):
crucial thing.
One of the other things we sortof talked about a little bit at
the start before we startedrecording was your journey as a
young source.
So you stopped being an AirForce brat fairly young, you
told me.
But then there
Teri M Brown (15:49):
Yeah.
Daniel Rock (15:49):
A fairly big step change.
And obviously you had your Greekpassport and all those things.
So we'd love to hear a littlebit more about that journey as
well.
And kind of what that did toyour kind of how you felt about
home going from this probablyfairly nomadic lifestyle to
Midwest to the
Teri M Brown (16:06):
Yeah, so I think, I think for me, home has always
been where people that love meare.
You know, like it didn't, itdidn't have to be a place.
Um, I know a lot of people andsome of me kind of wishes that I
had this like, oh, we always gohome to grandma's house.
It's the family home.
(16:26):
It's been in the home forgenerations.
Everybody goes there at the endof the year.
We all get.
We don't have that.
My family did a lot more moving.
Even my extended family did alot more moving there.
There isn't a location to go to.
And so because of that, we kindof more or less like created
traditions that you did whereveryou happen to be.
(16:47):
So if you are, you know, whetheryou're in Ohio or whether you're
in North Carolina or wherever,there are certain things that
you do.
There are certain cookies thatyou bake at Christmas and there
are certain, there's just thingsthat you do.
And so I kind of feel like homedoesn't really have to be about
the space.
As much as it's about a feelinglike I even felt like my husband
(17:09):
and I had home going across theUnited States He and I were
together.
We would put up our tent wherewe were, what we were
experiencing.
That was that was home for them.
You know, we would FaceTime kidsand and do those kinds of
things.
But when I was 15, so we'd beenin Ohio for some time.
(17:30):
I was very happy.
I came home from school 1 day,the middle of my freshman year.
in high school and my house wasfor sale and my parents had
decided that dad was tired ofthe winter.
He was tired of working for hisdad.
He wanted a fresh start.
I think he was having a midlifecrisis, but you know, whatever.
And the next thing, you know,we've moved from Ohio to North
(17:51):
Carolina, a place I had nevereven visited.
And I was in the middle of myfreshman year and I hated my
parents for several months.
I was,
Daniel Rock (18:00):
I
Teri M Brown (18:00):
I was one, yes, I was one very unhappy camper.
My parents told me that if aftera year, if my brother and I
still were unhappy, that theywould move back to Ohio.
And I had every intention ofremaining unhappy for one year
so we could go back home.
I mean, I had zero intention ofassimilating.
I did not want to be there.
(18:21):
Um, and it was a difficult move.
The, the accent was verydifferent.
There were actually people whospoke to me and I had no idea
what they were saying.
Um, There were expressions inOhio.
You never sit in North Carolina.
When you say hello, you say,Hey, how are you?
Hey, well, up in Ohio, you onlysay, Hey, when you're angry.
(18:42):
Hey, get out of there.
Hey, what are you doing?
Well, for the first two or threedays at school, I was a nervous
wreck.
Hey, Hey, Hey, you know, like,what am I doing?
Am I in the wrong spot?
Right?
Um, it was, you know, And, andyou're trying to make friends in
the middle of a year.
And I dressed all wrong in whereI lived in Ohio.
Everyone dressed up for school.
(19:03):
You tucked in your shirt, youwore khakis, you wore little
espadrille shoes.
You had a little scarf in yourhair and I get down here and
everyone's wearing jeans and tshirts.
All the girls have boy Levi'son.
They're wearing converse tennisshoes and t shirts that hanging
out.
And I show up on my first daylooking like the queen, you
know?
And it was like, Oh, I went homeand told my mom.
(19:24):
We got to go to the store andbuy me some, some boys Levi's
and she said, you look terriblein those.
And it was like, not a problem.
Daniel Rock (19:34):
It's about assimilation at this
Teri M Brown (19:35):
Yes, it's, it has nothing, that's nothing to do
with that, you know?
And so yeah, it was very hard,but.
All it took was about six weeksin, I met a girl who took me
under her wing and introduced meto all of her friends.
And before long, I was going oncamping trips and I was, you
know, I had a family, you know,I had a home and all of a sudden
(20:01):
it was like, okay, I'm okay.
Well, now at this point, I'velived in North Carolina since
1979.
And when people say, where areyou from?
I don't know what to tell thembecause in North Carolina, if
you weren't born here, you'renot from here, but I'm from
here, like in my mind, I knowsooner belong in Ohio anymore.
(20:23):
I mean, there are a fewrelatives, distant relatives
there.
Um, I wouldn't mind going backfor like, you know, a four day
vacation, but I there's nothingthere that is me anymore.
So, you know, I just think homeis, is it's where you make it,
Daniel Rock (20:40):
I
Teri M Brown (20:40):
right?
Daniel Rock (20:41):
could not agree more.
And that's battle in some ways.
Um, my brain, I go for it.
So I was lived in the UK till Iwas 22.
I moved New Zealand and spent.
The better part of 23 yearsliving there.
And now I live here.
So I live here.
This is home.
This is where my family is,where my daughter is, where my
wife is, you know, my, myextended, my, my immediate
(21:04):
family are in Spain or the UK.
I go back to the UK couple, twoto three times a year at the
moment for work.
And it does not feel like home.
Teri M Brown (21:14):
It's not home.
Daniel Rock (21:15):
what's really interesting is.
here.
I get asked quite a lot.
You know, where are you from?
You know?
And after I wanted to not killthe person who said, are you
from Australia?
Which for an Englishman who'slived in New Zealand for 20
years is about the
Teri M Brown (21:30):
That's okay.
Okay.
Daniel Rock (21:32):
I've said that a couple of times on the show, and
it's like it doesn't get easier.
Um, but then there's that.
Well, I'm from the UK.
That's where I grew up and Istill support, you know, all the
English sports teams and all ofthat kind of stuff.
But New Zealand is probably the
Teri M Brown (21:50):
More your home.
Yeah.
Daniel Rock (21:53):
But what was really interesting for me on that is I
went back there.
for work.
And it was a fleeting visit.
I didn't really catch up withany friends.
It was very odd, but it didn'tfeel like I thought it was going
to when I went back for work acouple of weeks ago, a few at
the start of November.
So it is very, I think that thatwhole where am I from home is
Teri M Brown (22:12):
Yeah.
Daniel Rock (22:13):
at
Teri M Brown (22:13):
People ask me, people will say, where are you
from?
And it's like, so I always dothat.
So if you're asking where I wasborn, that would be Athens,
Greece.
If you're asking where I did agood part of my younger years
growing up, that would be Ohio.
If you're asking where I feellike I'm from, that would be
North Carolina, but I've alsolived in many locations in North
(22:35):
Carolina.
So it's not like I've been inone spot.
I've lived in many places inNorth Carolina.
And, and so where am I from?
Where would you like me to befrom?
You tell me, you tell me theanswer you're looking for and
then I'll give you where I'mfrom.
So yeah.
Daniel Rock (22:56):
So tell me a little bit more about, um, your book
and kind of how
Teri M Brown (23:00):
Yeah.
Daniel Rock (23:01):
because obviously you, you did the tan and ride in
2020 and then
Teri M Brown (23:06):
Yeah.
Daniel Rock (23:07):
of novels
Teri M Brown (23:08):
Yes.
Right.
Daniel Rock (23:10):
then sort of 2024, written the book about what
happened in 2020.
So talk to me a little bit aboutthat, how that came about and
kind of, yeah.
Tell me a little bit more aboutthe
Teri M Brown (23:21):
Yeah.
So, so the book is, it's 10little rules.
It's things that I learned aboutlife and myself while riding
across the United States.
And I tell people, you'll learna lot about the, the trip, the
things, but it is not a travellog.
If you want to know a day byday, travel log, I kept a blog,
have at it.
(23:41):
You can read everything.
You can see every time I criedon the side of the road.
I mean, you know, you've got itall, but this is more like what,
yeah.
When I walked away from it, whatdid I walk away with?
What were those lessons in thatknowledge?
I had every intention of writingthis book from the beginning.
I knew when I wrote that I wouldwant to write a book about this
(24:02):
trip.
I didn't recognize until I gothome that I had these lessons
that I had learned.
I didn't know that was going tohappen when we started out.
I knew I would write something.
I didn't, I didn't recognizethis is what it would be.
And I actually wrote.
Daniel Rock (24:19):
Okay.
Teri M Brown (24:27):
place to publish it.
I, I felt like it, it doesn'treally belong with my novels.
My novels are historical fictionand they're completely, you
know, made up stuff in my headand I love writing that and will
write more of those.
This was something different andI thought it needed, I needed it
to have a good home.
So, you know, talking abouthomes, I needed it to, to feel
(24:50):
like it wasn't just a bookstuffed in with a bunch of other
books where it was going to getlost in the crowd.
And I met a woman
Daniel Rock (24:57):
it
Teri M Brown (24:58):
written a book called Ten Little Rules for a
Blissy Life.
Daniel Rock (25:02):
the
Teri M Brown (25:03):
she lived here and then moved away and we had kept
in touch.
And I found out that, Throughanother friend, and I didn't
even realize it, that she had alittle publishing company called
Ten Little Rules, and she wasaccumulating
Daniel Rock (25:17):
there's
Teri M Brown (25:18):
people that had done things that they felt like
would make a good book on, like,life lessons, things that you
learn, etc.
And I thought, that Sounds likeit might be a fit.
Well, I, I still have a littlebit of imposter syndrome and I
was afraid to bring it up to herbecause I thought, you know, oh,
(25:38):
I don't want to like, I don'twant her to feel obligated and I
don't want it to ruin any kindof weird.
I don't want it to be weird.
And I finally got to the pointwhere it was right now.
Your book is not published.
If you talk to her and shedoesn't want the manuscript,
your book is still notpublished.
Nothing has changed.
Okay.
Daniel Rock (25:57):
Yeah.
Teri M Brown (25:58):
Right.
If you do talk to her and shedoes want the book,
Daniel Rock (26:02):
Oh,
Teri M Brown (26:16):
got back to me right away.
She said, I've always wonderedif you were going to write a
book about that trip.
I would love to see what you'vegot.
So I told her, I said, it's,it's sad right now.
Like it is not.
I would never show this tosomeone in this format, but let
me show you what I have.
And you tell me if you thinkthat, that we could massage this
(26:36):
into, and she wrote back and shesaid, it's not going to take
much massage.
I love it.
Let's do it.
And so I knew right away.
So, you know, talking abouthomes, this book, I had taught,
I had thought it was going to belessons learned.
And now it's 10 little rulesbecause that's what there's, but
it just worked and it wasexactly, it was exactly what I
(26:58):
needed to do.
And then I was able to, to gothrough and find that the things
that I felt would benefit peoplethe most, like what, what did I
really learn?
And for instance, one of mythings is never quit on a bad
day.
Daniel Rock (27:12):
yeah.
Teri M Brown (27:13):
So we had a horrible day.
There was a day that was so bad.
We went 70 miles, which is on atandem bicycle is a very long
day and it was hot and it washilly when we had been told it
was going to be relatively flat.
We had three flat tires and itwas, it was a horrible day.
And by the time we finished andthe wind was blowing the wrong
(27:35):
direction.
So we were into the wind thewhole day.
And by the time we were done, wewere like halfway through
Montana.
And I thought, I'm not havingfun.
I hate this.
We're done.
I'm just, I'm not,
Daniel Rock (27:49):
Why
Teri M Brown (27:50):
I'm not yet.
I'm not.
Yeah.
I'm not doing this anymore.
And I was writing a blog and Ihad put the blog out and
immediately I had a friend reachout to me who said, I think that
what you've done so far isamazing and if you decide to
quit now, nobody would faultyou.
However, I have some advice.
Don't quit on a bad day becauseyou'll always wonder, could I
(28:15):
have gone on would, you know,would one more day have made a
difference?
She said, no, that this has beena bad day.
Ride a few more days.
And if at the end of giveyourself a time frame, you still
say, this is not fun.
Then you're making a decisionbased on facts and not feelings.
(28:36):
Well, the next day was fabulous.
It was a beautiful day.
We flew through the day.
The wind was at our back.
There was a storm behind us andit literally blew us into the
next town.
And it was, it was amazing.
And we didn't quit and we madeit the whole way across and I
have used that idea of don'tquit on a bad day over and over
(28:57):
and over again, where you think,I can't do this anymore.
And it's like, and today's a badday.
So, today's Monday, if onFriday, I still feel this way.
Then we'll change course.
And sometimes you still feelthat way and you decide, yes,
indeed quitting is exactly whatis the right thing to do.
(29:20):
And other times you realize, no,it was just a bad day.
I
Daniel Rock (29:24):
Yeah.
Teri M Brown (29:24):
don't we all have them?
There are days that I don't wantto be married.
There are days I don't want tobe a mother.
There are days that I don't, butI really want to be all those
things.
Right.
Daniel Rock (29:33):
I, I, I think that is a wonderful sentiment and
it's probably a great sentimentto finish on, to be perfectly
honest, which is the
Teri M Brown (29:39):
Yeah.
Daniel Rock (29:40):
quit on a bad day.
I think that is you think aboutthe things you might miss out on
because you give
Teri M Brown (29:46):
Yeah.
Daniel Rock (29:47):
get hard, you know, it's, yeah, it's, I think that
Teri M Brown (29:50):
And like I said, it's okay, it's okay to give up.
It is okay to decide todetermine what I'm doing right
now makes no sense for meanymore, you know, and it's
okay.
Like, if you had moved to NewZealand and decided you really
didn't like it.
It would have been okay to saymade a poor decision.
It's okay to go home,
Daniel Rock (30:09):
Yeah.
Teri M Brown (30:13):
think, oh, if I had stuck it out, would it, you
know, so it's that idea ofgiving yourself more time to not
quit in a, in the moment ofemotion, you know, when things
really are crappy, we all wantto quit.
I mean, I don't know anybody whogoes through something really
crappy and goes, woohoo, let'sdo that again.
Right.
(30:35):
And so I think that's the ideaof, of, can you take a step
back, give yourself a littlemore space.
And then make an actual decisionwith facts instead of just this
emotional, it's been a horribleday.
We had 3 flat tires.
The wind's been against us.
I'm so exhausted.
I still have to figure out howto get across the street to eat
at a stupid, greasy burgerplace.
(30:55):
I just want to go home.
I mean, you know, so
Daniel Rock (31:01):
I hear you and thank you so much for coming on
Terry.
It's been
Teri M Brown (31:05):
you for having me.
Daniel Rock (31:06):
Um, I will include a link to the book in our show
notes.
Um,
Teri M Brown (31:11):
Fantastic.
Daniel Rock (31:12):
thank you so much for sharing your journey and
it's been a really funconversation.
I've really enjoyed it today.
So thank you again so much.
Teri M Brown (31:18):
Thank you.
Daniel Rock (31:18):
thank you all for listening to this episode of
wherever I lay my hat.
Um, it's been great fun.
I really enjoy doing theseshows.
If you would like to share yourstory, please reach out again,
Dan at wherever I lay my hat.
com and please do the usualthings like subscribe, hit the
notification bell on YouTube, areview or a comment on Apple
podcast Amazon music that allhelps the show grow and helps us
(31:42):
get coverage and sell it, tellmore stories.
So again, thank you so much andhave fun.
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