Episode Transcript
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Unknown (00:13):
What's going on
everybody? Welcome back to
another episode of whiskey anduncensored. My name is Eddie
Lopez and I'm going to be thehost of this debauchery tonight,
where we talk about six sex,trans relationships and all the
other shit while drinkingwhiskey. Today we are going to
have a great one guys. I broughtthe idiots back from the daily
(00:37):
VM. Do we got Bichon Brad, wegot munchie Mike and absent Eric
we got the whole crew today. Sothis is going to be a lengthy
one I can almost guarantee you.
But to start us off today, todayI am because I got my special
(00:59):
guest on I decided to bring theGlenlivet 15 out so the French
oak reserve so we are going tobe doing it right tonight. I
know Mikey is got What are youon there Mike?
The Balvenie single malt scotch21 years
he went legal he went 21 yearsBrad's no longer playing sober
(01:21):
so that didn't last very long.
I have Yeah, he really did. Justlike
me I'll never drink again. Idon't even know I'm missing it
that's the type of shit you hearbasically after a hangover but
his decided to last a little bitlonger so we knew that wasn't
(01:43):
good.
It was a really bad hangovernever drinking again.
So what are you whateverwhatever you drink what do you
wantright now Brad, tell us what you
want.
I have the Jack Daniels blackselect or whatever it is the
Select Mike you actually gottenit for me. Oh, that's the single
barrel select single barrel. Oh,that's actually didn't sit right
(02:05):
here.
Yeah, I was gonna I was gonnaopen up this basil Hayden
should open the basil Hayden.
Is it the French? The FrenchGoddamnit the toast? The
toasted? No.
I thought about getting thetoast. So that'll be my second
bottle.
Oh, yeah. That was good to do.
Oh, he's a really good I wasdebating between the two God you
(02:28):
know, but I really liked theregular.
Oh, dude, it's good. You can'tgo wrong with either one of
those. SoMike and I'm actually sold me on
that. So the Kentucky straightbourbon that it's in an old
fashion and it's movil fashion.
It's money every almost that'sthat's almost sacrilege though
mixing it up old fashioned, butI do so actually either. After
we get to what is Eric drinkingor what's the yawn?
(02:53):
Oh, yeah, I'mon the Johnnie Walker Gold
Label.
Okay, I was figuring it's gonnabe like a white cloth or
something butSkittles in the Zima went really
quick. Sothat's old school shit right
there. ZimaYeah, people without Andorrans
(03:16):
guy, comeon now listen, I have seen a few
guys actually, in some fancylittle restaurants now at that.
Matter of fact, the most recentone was over at STK in Disney
Springs saw a couple of guys agroup of guys drink in fucking
white claws. I'm like, Okay,this is this is Disney Springs.
(03:38):
Disney Springs. Yeah, SDK thestraight Sure.
He went right up to him and saidhey guy.
Hey, man, I got a question.
Yeah.
You guys are drinking whiteclaws and just got a question
for you. Yeah, right. Did youwalk up and pull out your fanny
pack and say hey guysNo, no, I was there on the hot
(04:01):
water.
I love watermelon.
No if I was there on my hotdate, so I was not paying any
attention so even though evenJoe you guys decided you want to
Rozay my balls was on my hiatusnow that I got you all we could
talk some shit about you hasgiven me hell
on a bucket vacation. Dude, Ihad no good podcast let's do
(04:25):
it wasn't my life. It was it wasabout two episodes. It was about
the last the last two episodeswhich is basically you trying to
get like you know all theinformation about your girls you
know preferences and whatnot.
Listen to you like pick up line.
(04:46):
out at it. He was like takingnotes.
Gold, so gold.
So listen, right before youjumped on Mike. I was explaining
to Brad and Eric that Today'sepisode you guys launched well
depending on when this is goingto go I think probably release
by the end of this week atleast. But today the episode of
(05:09):
accents and assholes I promiseyou that was probably your guy's
best episode or at least thesegment with Eric going into the
fucking Boston accent Iliterally lost my shit I thought
it was going to spit my morningcoffee out my car when that shit
started happening especiallywhen the imitations of the women
(05:32):
with the Boston walking lost itso if my listeners you guys get
a chance go out to the daily VMspodcast site check out accidents
and athletes and I promise youyou will not fucking be upset
about that episode because itwas probably the best one to
(05:55):
date so far. I actually wentback and listened to it twice
because it was fucking hilariouslike I was always at work doing
something like you know whatfuck I'm gonna go back because
that whole segment of thefucking taxes I couldn't not
just get over it I was dying inmy cubicle laughing I got the
new person next to me is likewhat the fuck is he laughing I'm
(06:18):
like this guy this to the showbut it makes the ship so much
fun to do just come so naturaland so easy it's just fine.
Yeah, it was it was definitely akudos to you guys. You guys
knocked up the park on that oneso but yeah, so I wanted to I
(06:40):
wanted to give you guys a shitfor talking shit about me about
getting a new girlfriend andthen I wanted to give Mike have
a hard time because he's nothe's actually not eating right
now because every time I hearthe conversation this fuckers
got food in his mouth and thatoh my god how much food is this
fucker eating every time everytime like it's always eat like
(07:02):
you guys can't do an episodewithout food at this time. I
can't keep for not an hourevery time every time he talks
or you hear a bowl or some shitI'm like God didn't eat in a
day. The flavorapparently they listen and
literally we went to lunch todayright and we started to do a
(07:24):
show when we got back and heliterally pulls out like these
salami slices and then heproceeds to shape them like look
just like it looked at was likeit was a rose i don't know do
that look like a big fat Lizzy.
Show me pull out a pocket Diddyshit I don't know at this point
(07:47):
he just pulls it out I don'tlike it I
think you can mark it that thepocket salami guys
I don't know I mean, I mean Idon't know if that'd be better
than what I got right now on thetime of need every now and then
that the good ol flashlight so Idon't know if the pocket salami.
(08:11):
I mean, it's still it's still inthere. I mean,
it's hard to let it go.
It's hard to go even though Ihave I have a good solid right
now. So but it's still there'stimes where you get elation,
right? Sometimes in the rotationyou want to three so there we
go. You got you got you got thepocket. The flashlight you got
last your ultimate threesomeright there
(08:37):
you going like this? waving theno finger out here use
this. Oh, don't piss off Bradwith the no finger. Oh my god. I
was listening to that episode aswell today.
Don't even get me started, man.
Well, it'sfunny because I know I did have
something that actually is likea pet peeve and that as well is
when you see the motorcyclistthis it's always you know, the
(09:00):
guys in the crotch rocket whichyou couldn't figure out what the
hell the word you're lookingfor. But his crotch rocket
tracker, there you go. They callit right speed or whatever. But
when I see them come in, when Isee them coming into the
emergency median is where I getpissed off and they start
passing everybody out. Yeah,like I want to open up my god
damn door or just move over.
(09:23):
The funny thing about that is ifthey have a Harley, they're able
to do that because their bikesare air cooled. And if they sit
in traffic, they'll overheat andbreak down. So they're actually
allowed to ride on the meetingup to the neck only up to the
next exit though. Oh really cando. Yeah, because the bike
cannot sit still. withoutoverheating. It's air cooled.
Oh, interesting. See, I didn'tknow how sockies and others are
(09:46):
water cooled. So you're notsupposed to do that.
But the problem is, I don't eversee the the hogs doing right.
It's always it's always biggerand I had one I had 2003 tasaki
Six ZX. Six are I had, and Ilove that thing but I wasn't one
of these idiots that was doingthe stupid shit like the one on
(10:08):
the media like I'd come home andI'd be pissed off if I saw
somebody coming up and trust me.
Yeah. When I listened to theepisode where Brad was off
bucket because like, I've beenthere. I wanted to kill somebody
because they fucking justimpatient. We're all stuck in
traffic to dickhead. Let's, uh,we only
wanted to pull over and kickthat guy's ass. I mean, I
literally I'd never wanted tobeat somebody up so bad in my
(10:31):
life, like literally get out andjust kick the shit out in front
of everybody. I was so furiousjust because that asshole, you
know, I was trying to pay him asolid and give him a clear way
to get around me and instead hewanted impatient little
fuckstick so I was just like,oh, no, no. So and then he was
grabbing a Lincoln so I mean, hedidn't know what
(10:51):
the fuck he was Mike for theday. Already have a couple of
40 seconds. Okay, I've got it. Igot it within 40 seconds on the
start of the show and the intro30 seconds. See?
I got it in the first 10 secondsis a book you might see I'm
actually impressed that we'reactually having the show today
(11:12):
because I figured you fuckerswere going to be in jail after
your whole movie montage of thegirls soccer team. I thought you
guys were going to fucking jailwhen you guys went to go watched
high school soccer teams. Youwere invited to go watch girls
soccer? Yes, no.
Yes but you have to okay so holdon. was the one one to wear like
(11:36):
the pedophile T shirts just keptgoing bro. I was like it's just
not the time.
I was like I was like when I sawit and you posted some photos or
whatever that you're going tosoccer like these fuckers are
going to jail I was gonna sayyou creep pose you don't want to
jail. Watch out. Grady just thisis this goes to show you that
(11:57):
grainy Joe does it monitoringpodcast because if not he would
be like is asking would havebeen at the field. Okay,
fuckers.
Can you imagine him now look,you'd be like, okay, these two
guys right here. Went to a highschool soccer team. And we made
sure that they didn't score.
Literally.
(12:17):
Score Mr. Garrett. checkeredpast.
You show up. If you show up toour soccer fields, we're gonna
shoot you dead. We will askquestions. We're gonna shoot you
dead. Bullets in your body inyour head.
I'm always like whenI think you should just stick to
the Boston accent Derekyou don't have a kid in the
(12:43):
event. You're like,watching like Mike doing the
goddamn Google movie bill rightthere.
At the Boston accent. Yeah,please. Yeah, no. You're funny.
I just take the pause everythingelse alone
(13:07):
because I came to the studio fornothing.
So saying is what I reallywanted to say. But we didn't sit
on the parent side. We sat onthe coach's side is one of the
parents say hey, which one isyours? I said I would like to
say I haven't decided yet.
Yeah, you are looking to go tojail. When somebody's gonna be
(13:30):
waiting for your ass in theparking lot for real and it
ain't gonna be the girl.
It's like so when's yourbirthday? And you were on your
what? 17 Oh, yeah.
Well, I mean, I guess it maymake sense I mean, he's watching
Love island right? So I juststarted with listen to that
episode. Like, good God he is.
(13:51):
Okay, if you're a girl that showand you start watching it with
her it's a fucking train wreckand you cannot stop walking well
when you were using when youwere explaining it, it sounded
like a show that I did happen towatch called too hot to handle
which is Yeah, it's like thatwhich is essentially the same
concept friction right where youcan't have sex restriction.
Yeah, but it looks weird. Thisone here like nobody makes out
(14:14):
and doesn't have sex becausethey're all like I don't know
you like to handle they'reliterally like, Oh, I've met you
a minute ago Let's spend $2,000and kiss and like you know he's
gonna handy for 10 grandyou know, I'm not gonna lie
there's a few of those that I'veactually followed on Instagram
(14:36):
they bring the hottest chicksand then like you said they
bring the Rip Cut guys goodlooking guys, whatever. I want
them to do a too hot to handlethe chubby version and see what
happens. I want to see thechubby guy.
Basically have a bunch offucking guys sit in the corner
not fucking talking.
(14:57):
Like this. Like it'd be likethis. Hey, man, what do you want
to eat?
I got phileo fish over here man.
What is this? What is thiscelery in calories sitting over
here? What the fuck?
Were the shit?
I mean, all they do is fuckingwork out like literally every
scene isn't working the fuckout. I'm like seriously like,
(15:19):
be late in a rapkind of way like Damn, I should
be at the gym instead ofwatching this fucking show Dude,
it makes me feel like a badassevery time I just flash you are?
Yeah, that type of show. I'malready going on glass number
two already here yet. Like youalready are. And we haven't even
(15:41):
got to the top.
This is great.
I should have brought a snackwith me. But luckily I brought a
protein shake justlet's keep the snacks off.
You don't hear me smacking?
I'm like, oh, there have been afew times where I've had to
(16:02):
actually fast forward a littlebit like okay, that was too much
for me right there. Sothat's a tribute to my wife
hates people that smack with.
Like, I don't want her to listento podcast.
It is definitely the worst. It'slike you cringe just like oh,
(16:22):
but but anyway. Soon the show anymore, you're
gonna accomplish Oh, whatever.
It just got 50% less funout Alas, all but one show.
We just write the percent wait.
And then he'll be stuffing hisface again.
Shorty,ah, it's alright, so check this
(16:42):
out. You go. So listen, I cameacross this article. I'm gonna
read this article. And we'regonna have discussions because
I'm sure we will have somefabulous discussions on this. I
came across this article frommen's health. And it is it is
called. My girlfriend droppedthe bomb. Right. It's Jana. And
(17:04):
just hold on. Not quite notthere. But yeah, so the article
starts out with. I've beendating my girlfriend 25 for
three months, and my girlfriendcasually dropped that she has
had sex with about 30 men.
(17:25):
Whereas I have only had sex withfour women. She was the fourth.
I was shocked. And since then,I've just been in my head about
it. It's not even that I'm slutshaming her for sleeping with 30
men. I know that if I know thatI could see with 30 women. I
absolutely would. It's that Ifeel that she is sexually
(17:48):
experienced. Whereas I'm notsince I heard this news, I've
sort of been avoiding her. And acouple of times we have had that
we've hung out and made a bogusI've made a bogus reasons to
leave and didn't sleep over toto avoid having sex
with a man Jenna.
I really I really liked thiswoman but I'm so in my head
(18:12):
about not being good enough inbed and becoming another number.
I feel like she's not donesowing her oats and will leave
me I'm freaking out here. Pleasehelp. Sincerely low body count.
I got himfirst Did he go lose? No, no,
I was gonna I was gonna let Mikeopen up on this. So what is your
(18:35):
initial reaction? Because I havequestions because I have
questions on this. What is yourinitial potential advice to Mr
Low body count? Does it matter?
Nobody does it matter mydear dear Mr. Low body.
Obviously your girl is tired. Sonow she's looking for somebody
that doesn't have enoughexperience to actually get the
job done. So step up and be aman and just take care of
(18:58):
business. Everything will beokay. Because if not there's
always number 32He was apparently he was well I
guess he would have been 31Right
(19:21):
we told that this host did notI graduated from a bar
all right, Brad, what is yourinitial thoughts on when you
first first year this core meansdilemma? Does does body count
bother you?
(19:41):
Okay, well, first of all,nobody's gonna hit my numbers.
So Oh, writer are pretty bad. Ican honestly say four. I'm like
dude, really? Did you even doanything? So I guess my advice
to him would be just to suck itup buttercup. I mean it just
fucking do it. Because it'slike, I don't feel like that
(20:04):
matters. I was just talkingabout that today off off the
show with these guys. And I wasjust like, I prefer it like
versus a virgin or somethingbecause, you know, they at least
they're experienced, you knowwhat I mean? Who wants to
fucking train somebody? I mean,that's just me. So I'm taking,
making a lotof assumptions here. What do you
mean? We're making a lot ofassumptions. I mean, she's had
you're thinking that justbecause she had 30 Guys means
(20:25):
she's skilled. Maybe she's had30 Guys,
you got 30 you got you got someskills, because that means you
landed 30 Unless you're I mean,dude, it's not hard.
After you get your, you get yourGoogle review by that point,
right? So you either got aone star rating, I mean,
any bar anywhere as a woman andraise your hand, or sexual mean,
(20:46):
likeyou're gonna start nitpick and
that's a different story, wejust
pick and I'm just saying that,like, women can have a much
higher body count than menbecause it's not as much work
for women to get a high bodycount. Oh, we're making an
assumption that she's good. Imean,
if somebody looks like Brad,then yeah, that'd be a hard time
(21:08):
right but for someone that's forsomeone that's me i It's not
that hard, right? I mean, justgo into the bar raise my hand as
well.
I hear giggling in the room andI mean, damn, no kidding. What's
your on the mic ox long show?
Eddie now it just like said fuckit. I'm I'm gonna change the
(21:28):
name of the game you likegiggling pod nests?
What about you? Eric? What areyour thoughts? From what I've
listened to? You wouldn't give afuck actually. So
yeah, no problem with his bodycam with men.
Absolutely. No, you'reabsolutely right. But absolutely
not. There's no problem if somechick goes out there and says
Hey, stop with 87 guy before youwell, at least at least your
(21:55):
experience. That's why I'mwearing a condom. Because the
last thing I want to come homewith or bring home with me is at
seven dudes.
DNA so can you do that?
Yeah, we need to hear the 87 anda Boston getting
(22:15):
off fucking wicked tough. Ah,you wouldn't believe it. I took
a dump on 80 Guys chest fuckingcrap that to the pan. Oh, the
age. Right in that turn. Theystuck and I don't get my
(22:36):
pleasure to answer questions.
This is what takes me up. I tryto answer a question like like
without making a joke. And thenI get
no, I just I'm just telling youI don't care about the body
count. I have a high body count.
So count eitherso Okay, so me I don't care
right youI've asked you to question
(23:01):
What's that? What's your body?
What's yours?
My body count three yeahgo three
just saying go safe and bethree I have a question the
(23:22):
different personalities count asmultiple
you're gonna say three really?
I dude i I've lost honestly I'velost count I've stopped would
you say you're in double digitor triple digit? Not not triple
I'm not triplethat's yeah, he's not willing
(23:45):
to do that he is youknow I'm telling you it's a it's
definitely not in the triple isI'm not close ish
I do like all bullshit asideYeah. Hiding high body count.
And there comes a time thoughwhen like when you're actually
trying to count and you're addedup like I have insomnia instead
(24:08):
of counting sheep I'm counting.
Counting them Sheba. One slotaccounts 15
I remember those lips oh no,there's another one that was a
fat one up the bat hasn't beenthe the Alright, so Okay,
(24:40):
so would that be a little thingto bother me with Okay, so
with that being said, Have youguys ever had the body count
discussions with your partner?
YeahAllah do you start with that
one? Like let's let's let's talkabout that.
So And that went well, like, nolike what the
(25:02):
bad guys? Yeah, because we wereboth relatively serial
relationship people so it wasn'tlike we had a high body count.
Okay, I did kind of pick that upin that one episode. Listen to
that. What was it you said hestays at the dock wait for the
boat come in andeven though you know, I'm fat
(25:24):
and I make a munching sound allthe time they're like I love the
foods forget dinner menu.
Let me show you what that's allabout
So Brad, conversations with thewith the wife wife's the
(25:48):
multiples have you've had?
Yeah, I mean, either one didn'tcare. I mean, but I mean, I was
completely honest and said, youknow,
over 100 Easy. Really? Oh, and,and that shit never came back?
No argument like, What the fuck?
I can? No really,honestly say no out of
everything that ever anyargument that ever has happened.
(26:10):
That's not one of them. Okay,because I mean, you have to
figure you know, you know, theyobviously had high body counts
too, because, I mean, they were,you know, single for long
periods of time, especially mysecond wife, you know that
fucking high though. And she'salso she's also what, eight
years younger than me so, youknow,
(26:32):
so that means she so what she'ssaying she's got time to catch
up I don't know. She may she mayhave the same I don't know. I
really don't care because itdoesn't matter to me. You know?
You would also know she comesback until you Brad I doubled
that number now.
I did like that sweet.
(26:53):
That's an interesting questionthough. I wonder if girls ever
lay around and say man i MissMiss that Dick like that was so
all the time.
Oh, well have you not watchedthat show Sex Life on Netflix.
Oh I have now that is exactlyyou know that is exactly where
that concept of the show goes.
She had a crazy fun life in thebeginning. She wild and crazy
(27:15):
and then she goes and meets Mr.
Who everybody wants to be witheverybody wants to marry the
stable guy this guy right canget long talk. And well,
apparently both of them did. Buteither way. She goes in this
since she's has his diary, whereshe starts writing all these
(27:36):
reminiscence stories and stuffand then right she happens to
run into them and so you justneed to go watch it was actually
a really fucking like I actuallyit was more of a chick to type
show but I was like sittingthere like God damn, this is
actuallyyou want to you want to you want
to dog it out. But then you sitdown. You're like, Oh, hell
yeah.
But then the way it endedthough, was like, I was sitting
(27:57):
like, I'm like a bitch, right?
Like this. Where the fuck isSeason Two out there. You know,
season two right now. I've beenlooking it up when season two
coming out as an impulse tocancel that shit because that's
what Netflix does.
You know, there was the last Isaw there was supposed to be a
season two but it's hasnothing's been talked about it
being released or whatever. Soyeah, but it's if you haven't
(28:19):
watched it's definitely one towatch. I think I've talked about
it before because it was a itwas a good fucking show. So got
some hot bodies in there. Soguys and girls, whatever you
might be into. So whatever.
So I need to ask. Let meinterject real quick. Yeah. So
would it matter if your girlcame back to you and said, Hey,
I'm over, you know, threedigits. On body count. With a
(28:41):
man. I'll be honest with you. Sowould it matter
to me? Three, three days?
Probably he'll Yeah, at thatpoint. Yeah.
Are you serious and would botheryou?
I think it would. Yeah. Why?
Why? Yeah, I don't inquire.
Well. double digits be out.
Whatever. When you start againstthis, the triple digit. Alright.
How many of my friends arewhat's wrong? How many of my
friends are in this pool here?
(29:04):
How many? How many? How many?
How many Eskimo brothers at mypart of now. Like, which one she
tastes for? You know, that's,it's like the numbers at Publix.
When you're at the deli? That'swhat it looked like. It was like
You are Number 300.
Yeah. All right. But ya know,for me, I'd be okay in multiple
(29:29):
digits. But when he gets towardthe double digits when he gets
that triple digit, I'm gonnastart questioning a little bit.
I mean, so 99 is saying 999 isthe limit right there.
It would make some fun gamesthat always you can play that
game. Have You Ever Have youever slept with somebody in the
room and everybody raises theirhand?
(29:49):
I guess that'd be the worst thatif she slept with all your
friends.
I mean, think about it. Like,have you ever come across one of
your buddies like, Hey, we'reEscobal buddies, you know?
I mean, yeah, all the time.
yeahI won't say why. I literally say
it happens all the time.
I mean, I got a few buddies whowere asking my buddies I mean,
(30:10):
I'm not gonna lie.
So so basically Brad saying he'sa Kevin Kevin Bacon a deck, like
six degrees, Brad Yeah, Kevin. Igot crucified here, but
let me let me ask if shementioned that she had such a
high body count when before youguys started getting into a
(30:33):
relationship would you stillconsider moving forward with it?
Or we just look at it just forfun and play like nothing
serious? Like is this gonna be ajust a bag to play with?
Or how would that conversationcome up though? Yeah.
Are you gonna bring me suddenlythere are times where
conversation I have seen openersfor started question like, how
(30:55):
many sexual partners have youbecause it's I think what
they're inquiring about ispotential sexual diseases. So
they're trying to figure out howmany sexual partners that this
new partner potentially have ifthey want to invest their time.
So if they have if they alreadyhave a high number, are you
going to still pursue it? Like,let's say if this was
(31:15):
you know, what? Keep them fromlie did I mean like, literally,
they're gonna be like, five, andyou wouldn't get to go? I think
you're full of shit. Yeah,pretty much. I call
that's where you that's what youlook at. You look at her say
five. Oh, you go to herInstagram. She's got 5000
followers. Like, there's nothere's no fucking five here.
(31:38):
Maybe 5000. And maybe there's apercentage of these Instagram
followers will go maybe that's5% of your Instagram followers,
but all dudes like 80% guys.
Oh, dude, have you? Come on?
Even? Most women like my ex. Myex is the one that had a shit
ton of guys and I knew damnwell, she would always get
(32:00):
constantly hit the DMS. If yougot a cute girl, they're gonna
have an astronomical amount onInstagram. And they're going to
get fucking DM on the goddamnregular. So at this point, this
time and age you just thoughtyou could do
but whoever get jealous know, ofthe like, you know, you gotta
have a good looking girl. She'sgetting hit on all the time. Do
(32:21):
you get jealous? Or do you sayhey, not for nothing. Thanks for
the compliment.
No, I don't get jealous. Becausethat yeah, you're right. I look
at it as a compliment. Like, youknow, she's coming home with me
that type of stuff. You tend towalk you tend to walk proud
right? Now, if she would beacting on it. That's a different
story. Then yeah, you know, itdoesn't become jealousy start to
(32:45):
become pissed off at this pointyou get it can be a little bit
disrespectful, right? I've hadI've left the relationship
recently because of thissituation. Where the, the DMS
were coming in, and it wasn'tjust more than just hey, what's
going on? It was previous exes.
It was previous friends andhookups whatever. Entertainment
(33:07):
still be how she would respond,though. Because you correct to
her? Because guys are dogs, youknow?
Yeah, because those dudes aregonna be dudes, but the reality
is like, my wife, I'll use theexemption. She'll bring it to me
and show it to me go hey, man,this fucking guy was out of
line, or whatever. To and then Imessage him. Hey, man, I'm free,
though.
(33:30):
Am I you're tight, buddy.
I think you just have to trustthe person.
And then he's like, nevermind.
We had an episode like this onour on our podcast where we
talked about Would you date aporn star? Oh, yeah, that's
right. Would you Would it? Wouldyou?
I don't think I'd be against it.
WellI saw that. Real quick. He's
(33:53):
like,Well, I mean, I gotta go watch
her get out.
I gotta, if she's got 99 Lessmovies, then I'm okay.
We're good. If she's in that,that a list celebrities that
she's at the AVN or whatever,awards coming up. Coming up at
(34:15):
the Oscars. You could date aporn star. Um, I will say yes. I
will say yes, I would. I would.
I would do it. But you know,it's something that probably
wouldn't last long. Becausementally would be in your head.
Like, she could feel my shit atsome point. So when you just
gotta fucking shove it up reallygood.
(34:37):
That's Eddie's grounds for abreakup. She's not gonna feel
it's one of those loadedquestions where you never know
unless you're in that scenario.
Life. I personally like in fakelife. Yes, absolutely.
Would you fake life What thehell is fake life.
Fake life is saying that reallife is
(34:59):
not you I'll be honest human. Idon't think I could do it. I
just don't think I could even ifI wasn't married or nothing like
that. I don't think I could doone. Because having know that
she's getting up that morning.
Hey, you know gives you a kissgoodbye.
Hey, I'm gonna have this coffee,blah, blah, blah. I'm
gonna suck a dick for two hours.
Let's see. I get in my head thatshe's fucking railing down some
dude.
Or if you happen to catch one ofher videos, and she's in the
middle of a boot cocky, like,that's coming home to me later.
(35:22):
You know? That's Did you wipeoff? Did you use enough Clorox
wipe before you walked in mygoddamn house? Yeah.
Mike's like this. That's cool.
As long as she's like, takes ashower.
Because it's a job. But for me,it was all about the person. It
wasn't about just like thethrill of dating a porn star be
like, you'd have to really likethe person. So that's the
(35:44):
problem I've had is that when Iget I get in a relationship
because I like the person. It'snot like, oh, let's hook up.
These are high. You know what Imean? Like, like, Brad seen it.
Like, if there's a hot girl andshe's talking to me, and she
can't carry a conversation. Ihave zero interest. Like, I
can't even take you home. Like Ican't.
If she wasn't, she's going toget and rail down for three or
four hours a day. You know, youwould be okay with it.
(36:08):
Yes. So I like the personenough. I'll be okay with it.
Yeah. Okay, so let's let's youguys go. Because it's not like
it's not like this CD thing.
There's a whole like, Canthere's a camera crew, there's
sound crew, there's directors,there's fluffers there's like, I
mean, it's not like I'd bedating somebody that's like, you
know, like a prostitute. Now theproblem? Well, listen, I have a,
I have more problem with that,like on the street, like when
(36:29):
she's out on the street, likejumping in cars. You know, like,
that would be an issue becausethat's, that'd be a problem.
What about when she's at homeand she loses or forgets her
plays in the mentality of thatshe's still on set or whatever.
And you guys are all like, youguys do your Halloween thing.
You guys do travel as familycouples or whatever. And all of
a sudden, your girl's like,Babe, I want you know, when we
(36:50):
get done this Halloween, I'mfeeling kind of extra spicy
tonight. I want you and yourbuddies to beat me down because
she's in that industry. Wouldyou say Okay, babe, I know this
is your job. And we can do this.
Would you be okay with that?
Let me flip the script. Wow,that's the answer. That's Yes.
(37:14):
On the same token, she wouldcome home and say, Hey, I've got
four or five of my girlfriends.
I want to come over. And we wantyou to have a party with us. And
it'd be the same thing. So yeah,it'd be obviously it couldn't be
just like, Oh, hey, I mean, Ithought you guys wrote me down
and you got to watch. That'd bekind of No, that'd be a no for
me. You know, but if it wasequal, I could see it. All
honesty. I mean, yeah, I mean,it was fair, like if not,
(37:37):
but see, I think opportunity Ithink that answer would change
depending on which scenariocomes first. Right? If the beat
down with the girl getting beatdown comes first name like no
fuck that we didn't do in this.
But if your scenario came up,first of all the girls really
like luck. Yeah. And then alsothen when she brings it up. Hey,
honey, you had your girls. Nowit's time for me to have the
(37:57):
guys beat me down. Bring yourfriends over. And we're about to
do this. What's gonna happen?
Oh, you're gonna say no, you'regonna say
no might need a great group ofnew friends to hang out
play poker withhe's playing poker on the front
Volker in the rear?
(38:20):
See, I did a play on wordsthere.
Yeah, we got you up on it. Wegot you. So the consensus is
body count does not matter nomatter if it's discussed or not.
Even if you find out until 99comes up. So okay, so I think
the problem is with Mr. Mr.
Lower parts, whatever. Probablythe guy that wrote it is yeah,
problem is it's hisinsecurities, not hers, because
(38:40):
he feels he's not good enoughfor her. And that's going to
show through and that's going toruin the relationship. So his
relationships already doing Oh,are you avoiding her if he's
already not talking? Yeah,exactly.
I think. Yeah, I think themoment that he avoided sleeping
over there, and she's like, Yep,I'm done. I'm gonna get number
32 for 4050 whatever, whereverelse instead of looking at as
(39:02):
like a learning opportunity andbeing like, hey, like, you know,
like, what could you teach me tomake my game better? Because
obviously he's got experienceand there might be things and
tricks and trades that she canpick up and evidence elevating
his game. He rather sit in thecorner and say, Woe is me. I'm a
victim. Like, she's got so muchexperience I have nothing I
can't do nothing. I'm gonna gorun and hide in the fucking
closet. And he just needs to manup and be like, Hey, I'm gonna
(39:25):
this might be a great learningopportunity for you know, the
next wife that'sI don't understand why you would
hide on the corner. I'd say it'sa if your girl is way more
advanced than you and youactually know it. Learn from
her. Exactly. Good griefAlmighty don't kick her to the
curb because she has a higherbody count. You You take teach
(39:47):
me you fuck her andrun. I'm going. I'm going to
summer school.
I think age matters. I thinkshe's like 19 And she's like,
you know 30 Guys, that isprobably more of a problem, but
she's like 40 You know? And why?
Why 40would be why 40 with me almost
14 and 30 body count, it couldbe you know,
(40:11):
Hold up a second. Wait, hold upa second. You just said it would
be a problem and 99 She's 16 Thefucking 18 Dude. Well, listen,
she was if she was, that wouldbe more of a situation because
all I'm saying is that'd be likean assay. She's having sex and
starting 16 That'd be threeyears that'd be 10 Guys a year
(40:31):
that mean that'd be a guy everyevery other month,
listen to the body count and fatcamp doesn't count because
they're all lonely. So don'ttake anything at that point.
Because without telling me fromday to day, okay, as opposed to
(40:53):
someone that's like in their 30sor 40s That's had 30 people
because that's a person likeevery six months for Junaid
where they had like 10 peoplewhose term
everybody in Hollywood. I mean,come on. We'll say what I said.
But you're gonna plug upMorningstar, who's like filming
every day taking two or threedrinks a day. So you're not
saying15 day or week and I can see
where the guy would have aproblem with it. Like he's he
(41:16):
was what 25 He was 27I think he was seven he was 27
she was 2525 So she's 25 So shestarted having sex at 15 That's
10 years 30 Guys that's anaverage of three guys a year
roughly which is a guy everyWhat are you trying
to make it so logical right now?
Because he'sa superhero you can see a
(41:47):
you got a four month shelf lifeanyways he's got nothing to
worry about.
root of three and then you takethat into by pi and you divide
that let's just go 3030by the calendar year to be
different right?
I'm just saying oh wait, waityes. If you have the balls in
(42:07):
the first place to ask your girlor your potential girl How many
guys she slept with or guys andgirls how many they you know
guys and girls these days?
That's your own fault if youdon't want to know the answer
don't ask fun questions. Right Imean sure. Yeah. Sense
(42:33):
Hey, that's like asking yourgirl if you have the biggest
dick she's ever had and heranswer is no. It's gonna it's
gonna haunt you so don't ask whywould you ask her why
there's always a dude that'salways going to be hotter that's
always going to be bigger that'salways going to last a whole lot
longer than Brad andactually that was actually had
(42:54):
that conversation last episodewhere I would things I wish I
can get better at with me thestamina because I don't have my
20 stamina where I can I mean Istill you know think Willie for
the blue pill but the blue pilldoesn't help stamina like that
you're still like you're stilllike to take a brief moment but
talked about our sponsor pelotonpeloton helps with endurance
(43:24):
Eddie that's not real. It'snot real. Yeah, let them sponsor
Now I wouldn't be mad but no, Iwouldn't mind working on more
additional cardio where I don'tfeel like I'm just gassed out
you know sometimes you havethose sessions where you just
want to just rail rail rail saylike, you guessed that within
five minutes like Yeah, but Ilay down
(43:50):
watch like most women don't wantlike that long. Of a timeframe
you might we haven't had aconversation with my girl yet.
Sometimes. If it's less than theplug in an hour. We're having
problems so yeah, dude. Yeah, dowe? It's a county out is a
(44:11):
marathon. And I'm pretty sureshe'll appreciate me saying that
but yeah.
hours straight railing justwe're talking about we're
talking about foreplay.
60 pumps a minute 60 minutesbootless a mathematician was
3600 pumps and nowwe are going we're talking
foreplay we're talking about allthe all the spankings all the
(44:34):
Thai dinner likethey're no dinner there's no
dinner no dinner then then therailings and all sudden you just
gotta take a quick water breakand then you go on right back
out again. So see oh mygod like would be Mike would be
a superstar if you includeddinner and food and she would be
like the fucking champion. Hewould be like the porn star king
(44:56):
of the world. HOURSthat'd be Ron Jeremy right there
with short hairso I think it's reached around
like I think that's the thing Ithink you find somebody that
meshes though and I thinkobviously he's not going to mesh
with her because he's got toomany insecurities
absolutely personalities alreadyknow it's gonna clash so
(45:19):
like I like it my girl came tome said hey, I need you to last
hour in bed I'll be like Have agreat one like I don't have an
hour here's my iPadyou yearly subscription to big
black news.comListen, I'm not a marathon
(45:40):
runner. I don't like runningmarathons. I'm okay with the
sprint.
But we know you don't likerunning obviously mile long.
Drive thru. Drive.
fish fillet? Nice. What is it 19grams of fat as it
(46:05):
was like 130 calories less.
So it'seasier to get to 400 pounds and
then then get the gastric bypassthan it is to try to go from 260
down to 200 pounds the hard way.
That is true. So I'm just I'mjust going up. I'm going up to
surgery opt out. I can have agreat story I might be on TLC my
(46:27):
600 pound life. Hey, go seepeople. You got go here Eric
crane lifting me in. I'll behonest,
you got goals. That's all youcan say.
It'll be fashion body positive.
All right, so check this out. SoI'm going to do a segment here
called the Five second rule. Nowthis means you spit out anything
like the thought you spit out?
Spit out anything in fiveseconds. Brad should be good at
(46:48):
that splitting anything up byseconds. So
I'll read you Eddie. I'll read Iwill
go down the line. I'll startwith Mike Brad and then Eric.
I'll give you a go first becauseI find Mr. Analytical so I'll
see how fast you can dosomething in five seconds here.
All right, any meenie miney moelet's go. Alright, so
(47:10):
here we go. Everything I do.
You're gonna name everything Iread out you're gonna name three
things Okay, so you got to dowithin five seconds named Hannah
this seems unfair name namethree things you shout during
sex.
Oh yeah. Your God and like let'sgo really?
You're gonna be like let's gofucking Tom Brady in the bed
(47:33):
let's go holy shit I got you thehouse. Let's go Are you ready? I
want to know oh no, you don'tget the same question you get a
different one. Oh, I'm gonna goOh, you want to if you want to
go oh no, you get to think aboutit. Yeah, because that's exactly
why you don't get the samequestion because you're already
thinking about it so it'sactually
already set in my mind wheneverhe said it
(47:55):
so let's go here what you havelet's see what this let's see
are your results here I forgotalready has
it been dragon? No. I said Areyou awake? Are you awake? I've
donea little buddy come on little
buddy are your parents Oh allright
(48:25):
all right, right here we go.
Named three holes.
Your whole nose holeokay very nice. area
what was the full question? WaitWait No that was
Eric your question No, no. Namethree gay men.
(48:50):
Like Todd and Kylethe first thing he does he just
named dropped his boyfriend.
That was pretty good theyweren't hard questions.
Were all three guys thathe's lying. He's teasing he's
(49:12):
teasing because Mike againall right. Name three sexual
complaintsare you in Yeah. You're on my
hair. Oh, no.
(49:34):
What age are we talking abouthere why would you go
are you Oh, you went to theconvalescent home?
(49:54):
Hey, I'm a little out of thatquickly. So he's obviously that
those two I can tell youwhich is our child to my hair
Brad's age group ofmoney to drink some more Mike
(50:22):
slightly somebody else saidbesides me Oh look I love it
hurts.
All right Brad.
Did you have any yet?
Named the show name three thingsyou bang five kids your mom in
my hand you can even bang yourwife
(50:47):
that's automatic doesn't countOh my god.
Oh my god she's already hurtshe know I'm sorry. I didn't
mean to say that. I don't wanther to kill me
yeah, she she's uh she's verygentle
All right, Aaron our tinderfriend an hour my wife said is
(51:13):
that a wrap?
I'm not gonna lie there havebeen times tried to get her come
in here and she will come in onthe show. She's like No, I don't
want to do oh wow man.
He's got some questions for youEric three ways to earn oral sex
(51:36):
money then experienceare you being kidnapped you got
(51:56):
persuaded by some fucking keycommuter little boy
Oh, I took me in his van Tao bythe ribbon real fucking hot
right?
Jesus Christ a man they tell youto say no to strangers you know
that right? Oh boy. Oh shit.
Three things you shouldn't buyfrom a street vendor.
(52:28):
Food a pet? Or vaginathis is good answers.
You can't say food becausethere's a lot of folks out there
now.
In the food on the fuckingstreet would kill you. The pet
though. With the bacteriakilling that shit. Oh my god.
(52:50):
Would you buy a bottleof you Regina. Oh, you want
that? You want that God cat.
I was I was in New Orleans andsome guy was trying to sell me a
fucking cat on the fucking sideof the road. Walking down right
walking through Bourbon Street.
I shit you know he's like, Hey,I got this weird fucking cat.
I'm like$20 He's either was gonna make
(53:10):
you make money from selling itto you or he's gonna make money
by feeding it to somebody soeither way that cat Yeah. Yeah.
No. All right, Brad. Threereasons you would go to court
threereasons I would go to court
anger road rage would be numberone road rage. prostitution. And
(53:33):
and this is why I'm blanking onthe third one because I think it
just kicks in.
Oh, he's divorcing meI'm probably bad check writing I
don't know that was a good one.
(53:54):
Cat on the street.
I only had two sorry my bad it'sall good.
He loses I hate you.
Oh man's pain newsEric name and we can't answer
van and by the river on this oneokay. Name three places to have
sex. A movietheater we actually that's a
(54:26):
true story. Yeah. Yeah,I wouldn't I was completely
impressed with I really wouldn'tmind doing the theater thing
give that a shot amazing. Yeah,really bad. Absolutely. middle
row we're we're we're yetwe were in the very back row. It
was a Spike Lee joint. I used todrive a Mustang in high school
(54:47):
will make school forfucking long story 97 Here's a
plug in and around. It's gonnabe so fucking anti climatic when
you fly. I enjoythat he's like this this
ladies feel they're like, Oh,that was okay. You can't make
(55:10):
fun of yourself. You can't makefun of anybody else dicks.
This is true. This is very true.
This is how good successfulcomedians work. So sorry my
ADD kicked on. I stoppedlistening. I was just waiting
for you. You haven't gotten icecube or what was his name?
Vanilla Ice. Ice Ice Baby. Youlook like him back in the day,
(55:34):
by the way. Thank you.
Alright, last round guys lastround before we get ready to
wrap things up here. Mike. Yes.
Named three ways to relieve anitch.
Scratch it. Bite it.
(55:54):
So have you got? Obviously mostof the time? It's your nuts.
They're gonna eat so youactually have an ability to lick
your nuts.
Oh, yoga, so I'm trying to getthere. Yeah, he's almost
there. Because he's like, Dude,I would never. He told me that.
Oh, yeah.
He said, I get breast implants.
And I've never beenhow close are you? And he was
I'm pretty close. Like to seehow fast you're like getting
(56:19):
your flexibility up. So I'm along, long way off. So long way
to go. Sotrue story. I actually, I'm at
work. They're doing thisthrough stories, this, this
could possibly relate like wehad, they had me doing this
(56:41):
reach test, right, you had tokind of do the L sit and do the
Reach for because I mean thisfitness challenge at work for
this, you know, the New Year'sresolution fitness challenge,
whatever. So one of the thingsto earn points is you have to
compete in this LSAT challenge.
So you have to sit down like oldschool like you did Elementary
(57:02):
School, put your hands out, youknow, reach out as far as you
can, and then you get threeattempts to go. The first time I
reached out was 15 inches orwhatever. Second time was 717.
And then 17 and a quarter. SoI'm like that so she's like
you're getting lower prettygood. I'm thinking my head I am
getting pretty low right now. Imean, just give me that right.
That extra stretch that I couldpossibly get to the point where
(57:24):
I could probably get close tosucking on debt.
Just it's just the tip for justa second just
all three tabs you reach forwith his hands yet his mouth
open.
That's why That's That's why Igot the microphone right here
just in case.
Closed, soget in there and get in there.
So, but I was actually impressedthat I was able to bend you
(57:46):
know, fairly flexible.
I bend over and I get out ofbreath when I can.
Can you help me get up pleaseback into the starting position.
I was calledback and said hey call 911 I
can't breathe. I literallyleaned over to pick up with
something.
Yeah, I'm dreading the day whereI've been nowhere and something
gives out and I won't be willstand back up. Have you not got
(58:07):
out? Because everybodyeventually have you
not gotten out of bed and pulledsomething on just started the
morning?
Not Not that I haven't done thatevery day.
So that reminds me of when yousay that. Have you ever had like
a hamstring cramp up on youduring sex? Oh, absolutely. Yes.
You have. You're trying tostraighten your leg and you're
it makes it worse thatthat is so damn tight in the
(58:28):
back of your leg. Like oh mygod, it's the worst bucket
feeling.
Absolutely. Yeah, Ijumped off like I was laying on
the fucking sides. Really?
What's wrong? Like she's gonnahave fucking a heart attack or
something like that. Good. I'mlike Charley horses done yet?
(58:49):
Come onmy legs gave out I was right
there. Right there for climates.
And speaking of climax, and meand Sheena had a joke the other
day. And we were talking aboutbecause she's one that can just
get off like a gazillion times.
And I'm like, you know, I'd liketo have sex for now. Right? So
(59:11):
it's like, you know, I'd like toI'd like to see how many times
that she actually gets offduring a session. The other day
I get a knock on my door. Youknow Amazon one Amazon drops off
a package on my order anythingon Buckinghams Hi.
(59:31):
I like version three.
I open it up. It's one of thosefucking baseball clickers
so when when she gets back intown and still got the bucket
clicker to click on a tie. I'llmake sure to put it on the
(59:53):
fucking board up here the recordto be a part of the day.
Be honest I'm on the fuckingorgasms
earlier today my narcissismorgasm count
on the day David Goggins sexlike two legs broken I was still
(01:00:15):
fucking for three hours she cameevery 30 seconds for an hour
straight damn here soon heartattack.
Alexa, it was just a weirdfucking Chuck Norris a sec. It
was just the funniest thing likeI literally can't believe this
girl sent me a damn littleclicker. Like if you come in
through Disney World or whateverclass it was challenged it was
challengingAlright, So Brad, let's get
(01:00:41):
yours and then Eric'sGive me three telltale signs of
the walk of shame shoes inhand. Pants in hand and we're
all in hand okayWalker most of the time is the
(01:01:09):
females in the wild I mean therehave been times where guys
are like walking out like dudesare like I
did that but typically it's whenyou see the female walking by or
you know, I would think usuallyit's the black dress the black
(01:01:30):
fancy dress and I told my pantsmy pants they don't usually wear
pantswearing the same thing. The next
morning I didn't say pants youdidn't say pants you said you
said pants and am said pantswas I talking about females?
(01:01:50):
Yeah he's I don't bring him homebecause
I figured Pratt was coming fromEric's friend's house earlier
when he named three guysno, there was no hesitation
(01:02:11):
All right, Eric. You get thelast one for the night sir.
Named three places to buylingerie. Victoria's Secret
holesanother place Todd superstores.
(01:02:36):
The place off in Nebraska butuh, you gotta get sex toys.
What the fuck are you going toKohl's for laundry? I like the
granny.
Granny that's granny luxuryright?
Chicks over at Kohl's don'tknock a grandmother until you
try it cold if you're on abudget
(01:02:57):
don't knock her over becauseshe'll fall easily
listen you know what if you weresmart on this one your your last
answer could have been yourarrows oh he was too busy
by the river sowhy it always ends up on me
you're like just watch hisjudges feel insecure?
(01:03:24):
Well it's what happens when youbarely show up and they get to
just bust your balls sir. So butbut you have I have noticed you
you have been coming on a moreregular so that's good. Good to
see you're showing up fromabsent to me back to sometimes
back to back to back to back sowe have a couple of days in a
rowor in a row where he showed up I
couldn't find out fivefive and two days I'm here yeah,
(01:03:47):
very nice amazing.
I'm ready to rock yeah peopleare already writing in saying
please man tell her to stay homewe're not here
to make excuses yeah that's whyhe's so slow.
We feel really bad for him soyou know we told him hey listen
(01:04:08):
we know you're at your end daysyou know the Make a Wish
Foundation WellParagon daily every donation.
One person goes to Eric andthe other person
I wish I could take a BM andthey thought that they thought
(01:04:29):
he wants to be on the daily sothat's why he's here
Twitter at EricWell with that being said I was
out plugging I was actuallygetting ready said you guys want
to go ahead and give you guysindividual plugs before we get
ready to wrap it up so that waymy folks know where to listen
with you guys and follow youguys and all that good stuff. So
shoot away surfers.
(01:04:51):
All right on the Twitter machineyou can follow me personally at
Eric see one or two five you canfollow the whole entire show.
Just go to www dot The DailyBeast dot com and that's where
you find all of our social mediaplatforms and all our episodes.
Go ahead, Brian.
Yeah, and then if you don't wantto go to our website and you
actually just want to go to thefucking platform and question
you go to Facebook or Instagramat the Daily VM, or do you go to
(01:05:13):
the ticky tock tweet machine atunderscore the daily VM where
you can write Eric I tell himhey, we really wish you would
stay away longer. Doc Mikey,what about you
and your 12 followers? Yes all12 I have more than if you
want to follow me on Twitter youhave to look at my names I don't
know what it is I haven't loggedon Instagram I'm pretty much
(01:05:37):
banned from so so unless unlessyou're hooking up with me it's
not happening.
Okay, we got itall right, and he's
like, just the best place tohave to deal with me um, oh,
underscored that LLVM dependingon what platform you can always
(01:05:59):
email us at info at the dailybeyond.com in black and brown
we'll be happy to answer yourneeds
fix alright guys. Well it hasbeen a pleasure having you guys
on it as always is and afterwhen we get done I actually have
a conversation with you guysbeforehand, so don't go anywhere
because I have something thatyou guys just might be
interested in. So with thatbeing said, guys, if you raise
(01:06:21):
threesomefor some we'll discuss this
laterwe will have this discussion. So
guys, if you enjoy that episode,go ahead and give us a like
share on this episode. You canfind us on whiskey and
uncensored on Instagram andFacebook as well as our website
whiskey in uncensored.com. Wherehas all of our links to all all
(01:06:42):
of my affiliate partners? Idon't remember them at the top.
It has been a while it is it'sbeen a while I've had to make
those names. I'm actuallyplanning to do separate
affiliate little dropping sodon't wake up to me every time
so but anyways, with that beingsaid guys, hope you guys enjoy
(01:07:04):
this episode. As always enjoyyour life. Drink the whiskies
and we're out