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March 1, 2023 48 mins

Have you ever wondered how friendships between people of different sexes work? Are you curious if men and women can truly be friends without any sexual or romantic tension? Join us as we dive into this age-old question and explore the liminal space between platonic and romantic interactions. We'll be discussing the benefits and drawbacks of opposite-sex friendships and the difficulties of maintaining these types of relationships. Whether you're trying to figure out if you and your opposite-sex friend are just friends or if there's something more going on, we can help. Listen to our podcast to learn more about the complexities of friendships between people of different sexes and the Fine Line Between Friendship and Benefits.

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Unknown (00:14):
What's going on everybody? Welcome back to
another episode of whiskey anduncensored. My name is Eddie
Lopez. And I'm gonna be the hostof this debauchery, where we
discuss sex, sex trends, dating,relationships and all the shit
that's in between with all of itall while having fun drinking
whiskey. And today, I am on theold forester, which is a great

(00:40):
time to wrap up, coming backfrom vacation and knowing that
we're headed back to realityworld of work tomorrow. Try
Guys, we just got back. And onmy other end, and I apologize is
Miss Sheena gray. So we just gotback from vacation. It was a

(01:02):
nice, relaxing vacation. Ithought originally we were going
to possibly record an episodewhile we're out there, but ended
up being too relaxing. And therewas no need to do really work
out there. So it was nice to bedisassociated with any social

(01:24):
work anything like that otherthan checking in on Facebook
when we were going to differentlocations. But so do you enjoy
good old Gatlinburg, Tennesseein Pigeon Forge?
We did have a great time Ithought it was it was a very
relaxing time. The weathercooperated so it wasn't

(01:44):
horrible.
Well, the weather did cooperateduring the middle of the week,
except for when we left, whichwas a downpour. And then when we
were coming in was still kind ofrainy ish. But on the positive
on the positive. Yes, you'reright. The positive though. The
weather was great. I got to doquite a bit of activities and

(02:07):
again, sit back and relax attimes. I think we were back in
the room. The majority that'sbeen motherfuckers we were back
in the room. What about seven?
Eight o'clock? Maybe nineo'clock for the on average? I
think it was what seven?
Superbowl Sunday? We came backlate. And there was another?

(02:34):
Yeah, but it still was past nineo'clock. Right. So but then
there was there was anothernight that we actually stayed
out rather late. And we wereactually shocked like then we
actually made it past 10o'clock. So we definitely showed
our age. No, the only Tennesseewhiskey that we were drinking
out there. Was that that oats?
Oh, what is the old smokingmoonshine or distillery? They're

(02:57):
their little taste testing outthere because you know I'm not
buying a bottle of of thatwhiskey. It's it's just nothing
but flavored to me. It's nothingbut flavored vodka, but we did
the taste testing and what youthink of that taste testing that
was there? We had what 99 offoam that we tasted nine for 5.5
or six? No, it was like nine forfive bucks or something like

(03:22):
that.
I don't know. The first one wasgood. The first one actually
tasted like moonshine. The restof them were just so heavily
flavored like they were kind ofweird. The one that was supposed
to taste like a Jolly Rancherlike they were super sweet and
just Yeah, yeah,yeah, no, I totally agree.
Ironically, though, I thoughtthe pineapple one the actual

(03:46):
fruit pineapple one that wetried, which kind of which was
with pina colada, and I'm not,I'm not a pina colada person at
all. But that pineapple that wasinfused with a was that one to
me was the better out of thebunch that they had is trying.
There was a few cream, coffeeone, I was gonna say there was a

(04:08):
few creamy ones that I wasn'ttoo crazy for obviously, but
it's more probably marketed tothe females itself. But other
than that we did drink quite abit of beer though out there. We
hit a lot of the head. And a lotof the breweries my untap app
actually got loaded with a bunchof new different beers, which

(04:28):
was, which was nice. There wasonly one that I had that I was
not a fan of, and I think itended up getting me sick, which
was that brown ale that we hadat during Super Bowl Sunday. And
yeah, there's wouldn't do thatagain. Now. Let's let's back
this up for a second. Let's goback to Superbowl Sunday because

(04:49):
we knew how busy it was going tobe in a lot of places. And I got
to assume it was a mixture ofthat brown ale And the entire
fucking menu of desserts that weordered because because we were
just sitting there, and peoplewere waiting to come in and
watch this game. So because thegame was still going on, I

(05:14):
didn't want to give up our seatalready. So obviously I'm
ordering a beer and I was like,You know what? We'll take
everything that's on thisdessert menu. And what was it?
It was a brownie sundae typesituation. And then it was a it
was a blue cake. And I justthought it's interesting because
blue velvet cake, the what wasit? The brownie was actually not

(05:36):
too bad. Obviously, that productput me into a diabetic shock
attack. But that blue velvet wasnot that. Great. Right. Well,
that was awful. Yeah,I think we ended up sending dry
that's all. I think we ended upsending most of that cake back.
They asked if we wanted to takeit back to this to the room,

(05:59):
right? Hell no, this is a it isnot good. So I just want to see
because it was fucking blue.
Like, I wanted to see a bluecake. Like, you know, Billy
Madison want to see a blue duck.
I want to seeI can I can make you any color
tape that you want. Well,now, the bathroom experience
after that was interesting,because everything came out
blue. That's right. The dyedestroyed the insight. Ah. So

(06:25):
let's see what else what else dowe conquer out there? Oh, we
took you on. We went toAsheville. We went to Asheville
to go catch it with your daddyand we went to the New Belgium
brewery that was out there,which was rather nice. Got to
meet your pops. Traveler did alittle exploring in downtown

(06:50):
Asheville, which Asheville isanother one of my favorite
places to visit. So if anyonegets an opportunity or has not
been to Asheville, yes, theBiltmore is their main
attraction, but Ashevilleitself, the town is very
beautiful. The people areextraordinary friendly. And
that'd be one spot that I wouldnot mind moving to if I ever

(07:12):
decided to go move into thatarea, that implicits almost a
national or the Mecca ofmountain bikers where they all
reside and live so perks there.
What else we, we took you on theAlpine poster, we just we, we
weren't sure if we were gonnaget you up there. But as soon as

(07:33):
we got on the little cart, youknow, you started having your
little anxiety, panic attacks.
Making the climb a mountain, youalmost wanted to jump off and
stop the ride. But there was nogoing back. But what did you say
at the end of the ride? What didyou say?
I had fun. And a lot of fun.
Yeah, you gaveit a shot, you let the ambitions

(07:54):
go. And you had a great time.
Obviously, we had that big openwide open as much as we could.
There was a few times I slowedit up where you just start
waiting and freak out. But forthe most part, other than two
turns, I think we hauled outdown that hill. So we were up

(08:15):
and down within a total of sevenminutes. I think it was, you
know, most of the time, most ofthe time it was climbing because
you just take forever. Climatebut coming down, we were done
with it.
I was scared of it because Ithought it was going to be a
straight, straight shot down,which would have been fun. But
that would have been an amazingone too. But then we were going
to attempt attempt to take youziplining until I saw the price.

(08:40):
Yeah, so we attempted we thoughtabout taking ziplining and when
I looked up the price, I had tomake a decision. You know, is it
worth possibly getting thesetickets and you chickening out
and deciding not to go downthese zip lines because I think
there was like a total of sevenzip lines over two or three

(09:01):
miles of zip line and just like150 bucks a person and I knew
damn well that if we got upthere, you may have freaked out
and that would have been itbecause there would have been no
refunds. And that could havebeen a rough car ride home. Just
saying that could have been aeither a rough one or a silent

(09:23):
one on the way home so or nothome but to the resort.
Well I have to say we made it a10 hour drive there. A whole
week up there. 13 hours home andwe still liked each other. So
that'sthe let me talk that didn't ride
home. I already have a 10 hour10 hour limit in a vehicle and I

(09:47):
matter of fact I had thisconversation with mill when he
came into town. And because hedrove in from Texas and they
decided to drive through andjust stop at a red stereo sleep
for about two hours switch outdrivers and then continue on. I
was explained to him I said mymy limit in a car is 10 hours
once I start getting past that10 hour mark I start getting

(10:09):
antsy and very fidgety that Ineed to start getting out of
this vehicle. We unfortunatelyhit some traffic and the reason
why we hit traffic I think isobviously it was pouring rain
one when we left and then Idecided to make the decision to
not go through the mountains onthe way back. So we went through
Pigeon Forge to hit the highwayi 40 so that way the safer route

(10:33):
instead of you know five o'clockin the morning, going through
the dark pouring rain into twoskinny Lane mountain roads you
know something happened andnobody's gonna find this right
and because obviously there's noservice in those fucking
mountains. So I made a decisionto go to the high, go through
the pigeon forwards go to thehighway and then go up to
Knoxville and come down, down 75Well, we did fine until we got

(10:54):
started getting into Atlanta,which was around 930 We were the
traffic wasn't bad. We gotthrough it before the lunch and
all that good stuff. And it wasactually just a weekend. So it
was busy ironically. But itwasn't till we got to Marietta,
Georgia where we hit a wall oftraffic and we started doing
some side roads, you know,according to Google, and then it

(11:15):
wasn't till Ocala rural callawas the worst spot where we got
stuck on a constant standstill.
And all in all, we ended up weended up being backed up for
three hours because it took us13 hours to get home and let me
tell you my out my anxiousnesswas already ready to get out

(11:36):
that fucking car, I was like,Alright, I'm past my mark, I
need to get this car. And so westarted booking it so but
overall, the trip was amazing.
We had some gorgeous views. Soif anyone has not been out to
that area, you need to go checkit out. It has gotten quite
quite pricey compared to thelast trip that I had out there.
But it's like anything elseright now everything's

(11:59):
everything else is expensive. Soyou're gonna you're gonna pay
for vacation, it is what it is.
So with that being said, today'stopic, and this topic has
already been out on the whiskeyand uncensored blog, which
actually is doing fairly well.
So if anyone has not had achance, an opportunity to go

(12:20):
check it out, go check out theblog site on whiskey and
uncensored.com. There'sapproximately six articles up
there now. And I'm going to tryto keep those coming out on
every other day basis. You know,just as I feel motivated to post
these out, but it's actuallydoing well. But today's topic is
actually going to discuss Ithink it was the first article

(12:41):
that posted on there wasopposite sex friendships and can
opposite sex legitimately befriends without no other
physical attachment and theimportance of opposite friends
sex. So before we get intoopposite friends, yeah, opposite
friend sex for relationships,no, no sex, but just just

(13:06):
opposite sex, you know, you knowwhat I'm talking about
goddamnit. So before we getstarted, because obviously, I
have my notes here, I got abunch of pros and cons in
regards to the topic. But let meask you, I'll ask you a few
questions. And then we get intosome of these pros and cons
here. You get ready? How didyou? How did you form your first

(13:28):
opposite sex friendship? Andwhat drew you to that person?
I mean, I can't think of like aspecific why unnecessarily
because I've always preferred tohave guys as friends versus
girls. So I mean, I would say itstarted when I was like tiny,

(13:49):
tiny, I guess in a meaning likewhen you're, I guess more of a
teenager going into youradulthood.
You know, I missed all of myfriends when I was a teenager
were guys,which is not uncommon. For some
reason, I've learned thatfemales have a lot more guy
friends, and they do femalefriends. And yet vice versa.
Sometimes guys tend to havequite a bit of female friends

(14:11):
sometimes and we'll get to thisand some of the pros and cons.
But sometimes friendships thathave an ulterior motive behind
them, but not always. But I havenoticed that, yes, females tend
to, you know, gravitate more tothe guys for friends, do you
think? Do you think sometimesthat, you know, what you carry

(14:34):
between your legs actuallyaffects your friendships? Like,
why they want to be friends withyou? Or is it because you're
bubbly personality that theywant to be a friend with you?
Well, we both know I don't havea bubbly personality.
I was trying to just kind ofgive you that bubble. You know,
we know. We know. Yeah.

(14:56):
I mean, I can't speak from theirperspective, right? I don't
Maybe they had a differentmotive or whatever, I can't
speak from their perspective.
But typically, like, I had morein common with them, like I
could talk to them about cars, Ican talk about sports, like, I
didn't feel like I had to besome type of way. Whereas girls
are very emotional, which can bekind of draining. And I've come

(15:19):
into have not go ahead. And asI've come into my adulthood, I
still prefer to have been, asfriends. Almost every single one
of my friends are men. They tendto tell me how it is. They don't
feel like they need to, youknow, pussyfoot around or
anything. And they're nottypically as emotional.

(15:46):
Especially like, oh, I want tobe careful how I word this, I
guess. Butwhen you try to fill your, your
circle with high performingpeople, there's going to be more
vivid in that realm than female.
High performing meaningsuccessful, right? Is what

(16:07):
you're essentially getting.
Yeah. Okay. Just want to makesure that we're on that same
page there. Alright. So how didyou maintain boundaries? When? I
mean, what's your, what's yourconversation with them to make
sure that they understand yourcertain boundaries? Because at
some point in time, you guys aregonna think, okay, you know

(16:31):
what? There's, we've beenfriends this long, possibly go
out for a few drinks in a littletipsy. We're close. Never know.
Right? So how do you maintainthose situations and boundaries,
like, hey, we might go outdrinking, but you ain't pounded.
So ithasn't always needed to be a
boundary. I've never, I don'tthink I've ever had that

(16:53):
conversation. of hey, we'renever going to sleep with one
another. I can't recall havingthat conversation. I mean, one
of my favorite people in mymentor, I, there's no, we've
gone hiking together, I've beenin his place. We've gone out to
dinner, multiple differentstates had drinks with one

(17:16):
another and nothing has everbeen. And I don't think either
one of us ever would, because wevalue our friendship a lot. So
it's just kind of unspokenthere. Now. In my single days,
some time, it's easier to hookup with a friend. So sometimes

(17:38):
that boundary doesn't need tobe there. Okay, because well,
we'll get to one of thosequestions later. Yeah, we'll
definitely get to one of thosequestions. But all right. So
before we get into some morequestions and more discussion on
it, let's get let's go over someof the pros and cons of after
some of the research done ofhaving opposite sex as friends

(17:58):
in the benefits, right, let'sjust talk the pros first. One,
is you're going to have ansometimes an increased
understanding, right? Havingfriends of the opposite gender
can help gain betterunderstanding and perspectives
than that have the same sex.

(18:21):
Yes.
All right. No, I completelyagree. All right.
Yeah. I mean, because I mean, Iknow for a fact, sometimes I do
have some female friends, whosometimes I'll reach out to and
be like, hey, was I wrong forthis? I know, if I asked my guy
buddies, they're gonna be like,Look, Nah, man. He was good. He
was good, you know. So, youknow, sometimes it's good to get

(18:43):
that other opinion from a femaleor, Hey, I said this was either
wrong, or was I Okay? And I liketo know that I can least be
validated from a female'sperspective, that I in fact, was
in the right did not do wrong,because we know, I don't like
doing wrong.

(19:04):
I mean, if I go back to, youknow, who I was hanging on, so
close friend of mine and mentor,there's no anything there. And
like we both went through, hewent through his divorce. And I
went through my separation atthe exact same time. So it was
not like, as in his books, hishigh school sweetheart. So as he
was entering back into thedating world and stuff, I mean,

(19:28):
he kind of leaned on me, we hada ton of conversations, and vice
versa. Like, he was kind of mygo to whatever. I mean, I think
you need to have a differentperspective,
right? No, I totally agree. Andactually, ironically, that's the
bullet point number two is thedifferent perspectives, you
know, having a different lookon. You know what? Your current

(19:51):
sex is not going to provide youusually because it's going to be
your buddies, your girlfriendsor whatever going to provide you
What do you want to hear and notexactly what might be the The
answer that is should be. Let'ssee another another pro here is
enhanced communication skills.
friendships with people inopposite gender can help improve
communication skills and learnto navigate sensitive topics.

(20:14):
Now, I'm not sure. And I guesswhen I'm thinking sensitive
topics, are we I'm trying tofigure out, are we discussing
like, sexual topics? This one Ikind of was like, what are we
talking here? So sensitivetopics that we discussed in
sexual Scotians? Because thatcan get a little weird, right?
If you're having sexualconversations with your female

(20:37):
friend in regards to yourcurrent partner, like, at some
point, you know, are you are youpushing that? Yeah. So what are
the sensitive? What sensitivetopics do you think is being
enhanced? I mean, that's what Igot out. I mean, like, Wait a
minute.
Okay. Well, the way you just putit, yeah, like, if you're in a

(20:59):
relationship with somebody, Idon't know that you want to be
going, especially as a man toanother female. Were you talking
about the success that you'rehaving? With your girl? Right?
But like, outside of arelationship? I mean, I've had a
lot of talks with my guy friendsabout sex, or whatever, are
different situations, or is thissomething that guys like or

(21:21):
don't like, or whatever?
And they never turn around? Sohere? Let's find out. I'll let
you know if I liked it or not.
And then you can test it.
I mean, that joke like thatmight be thrown out?
Oh, yeah. Of course. I don'tknow. Let's find out. I'll let
you know. How about you try iton me first.
But then there's some. I don'tknow.

(21:46):
You start getting into thatblurred line at this point. I
mean, there is, there's a scalethere. Right, you can have that
nice communication skills, butit does tend to get blurred,
depending on some of theconversations. Another pro, and
then I'll jump into some cons.
You have emotional support.
Right? opposite sex friendshipscan provide emotional support,

(22:09):
and a non judgmental outlet fordiscussing personal issues. Have
you had to lean on yourgirlfriends for emotional
support breakups or anythinglike that? Or do you tend to
leave that for your girlfriends?
I actually ate I mean, both. ButI rather I would say, I like

(22:29):
having both. Like, I know thatmy best friend is gonna give me
like all the love in the worldand make me feel amazing. And
like, I'm the best person thatthere is and just just want to
fill my cup with all those love.
What about Thai friends aregoing to, that's what I'm
saying. So then guy friends aregoing to be more, they're going

(22:50):
to give me some love. They'renot going to bash me. They're
not going to make me feelhorrible. But they're also going
to give me some truth. Orthey're just going to be like, I
mean, when I went through mylast split, and I hadn't even
told that male friend, hisgirlfriend. What was it? I don't
know. Somehow he saw some typeof posts that made him go What

(23:11):
the hell's going on, and itwasn't even about my split. And
he calls me he's like, What thefuck is going on there. So I
tell him, whatever was going on,and he was very much tough,
tough love. He was like, youhave two options to fucking cry
about it. Or you can get yourshit together and move on. He
was like those are two options.

(23:33):
He was like crying about it'snot going to make money.
Well, is it always about makingmoney at that point when you're
your emotional distraught I meanis that is that the motivation?
Gotta go make your money godon't fuck around with Don't
worry about your relationshipright now go make some goddamn
money. I mean, the relationshipis over so there wasn't anything
to worry about. It was over soum, I don't know if it was the
best advice so I was like allright, but and I through my

(23:55):
whole life into my career andinto working out but then I
agree with you though. Then allthe emotions and shit that I
needed to work through ended upballooning later the like a year
later and then it was like whoa,why are you here? Why are these
emotions herecompletely bypass them and then

(24:16):
didn't actually this is wheresometimes this is where the
girlfriends actually come intoplay because girlfriends enjoy
another girlfriends drama right?
Women I know you say you don'thave a lot of female friends but
you know you talked to a guywhen it comes to some of your
drama he's just gonna sit thereand lie to God yes I'm here for

(24:38):
your I'm here for you. Yes butin all honesty is like dear god
is please shut up. This is justtrauma I don't want to hear and
females females fucking crackopen a bottle of wine get the
glass out. Let's talk about thisshit. You know let's let's let's
let's get you figured out let'sget you fixed. Let's get you
moved on and let's get you laidAll right,

(25:03):
stupid. I can do I don't thinkmost females say that.
Once that one gets stuck here,and I'm like, let's go. Yeah.
You'll feel better real quick.
Come on. Yeah, exactly.
All right, so let's, let's jumpinto a few of the cons here.

(25:25):
Before I come back to somequestions, more questions for
you. The number one con, whensomeone has an opposite sex
friend, is jealousy, jealousyfrom their significant other,
this is the number one issue onthe cons list. And which is,

(25:45):
which is a valid valid issue.
Because if you are in a verycommitted relationship in
granted, you know, everyoneknows, everyone should know that
everyone's gonna have friends onboth both genders, right? But
when you, you tend to spendprobably more time with the
friend than compared to yourpartner, obviously, he's going

(26:07):
to end things that you may haveconversations with on the
partner and that they know allyour intimates are your friend,
and they know all your intimacyand all your intimate
discussions. Yeah, you're gonnasometimes and that's where you,
you know, we were discussingearlier, your partner is going
to kind of feel some kind ofway, right? It's like, why do
they know all of my business?

(26:28):
You know, if you have issues, weshouldn't be talking about it
not talking about our issues toyour thoughts, in general, our
male friend, or another femalefriend, like you're gonna read
running off to the females orwhatever, you want to keep that
in house. Because obviously, youknow, the more drama that gets
dispersed to a friend, the, youknow, the more branches are

(26:51):
going to branch out, becauseit's gonna get spread, like
wildfire. But Jealousy is a bignumber one on if friends really
can be friends with oppositesex. I mean, because there's
that and then misunderstand, youknow, your significant other,
you know, again, can see thingsa different way. Say, why is it

(27:11):
that your buddy is alwaystexting? Why are you always on
the phone? Why? Why are yougetting all this? You know, why
do they always have yourattention? So there's obviously
misunderstanding with thepartner. Now, there could also
be misunderstanding andcommunication between the
friends where sometimes signscan be misconstrued. You know,

(27:36):
like, we were just saying, youdon't went out going out for
drinks, things get really touchyfeely, sometimes, right? And all
sudden,but you're not always. So are
all of these, consider forsomebody that's in a
relationship? No, notnecessarily, I think there's a
different, there's different,you can do different things with
your friends that are of thesame size, when you're in a

(27:57):
relationship versus when you'renot, but the cost
around nine, but the cons aregoing to be the same way. I
mean, again, if we're, ifthere's gonna be
misunderstandings, there couldbe a misunderstanding on what
you're considering as afriendship compared to what they
want to consider as afriendship, right. But if
they're thinking, we'll starthere, and see where it goes,

(28:21):
while you might be on the otherhand thinking is going to be
strictly platonic. And us beingfriends, I might want to be
friends with you for so manymonths and see where I can work
my way in at some point, youknow, I've been the shoulder to
lean on force, you know, three,four months, at some point,
there's other parts I want youto lean on, you know, just, you

(28:45):
know, I'm just putting I'm justputting it out there. I'm being
real, like, you know, those aresome of the misunderstandings or
romantic tension can buildbetween two friends. When you
spend so much time together.
Feelings can evolve, right? Whyis that a con? If you're if, if
one person is only looking forthat friendship, and the other
tends to not if they startedgetting feelings that can cause

(29:08):
some problems that can causesome rift between the two? Yeah,
yeah. So that's why this on thecon list is because it can't
build that romantic tension. Howdo you not had a situation where
you had a friend and romantictension started to build either
your end or their end? And youhad his kind of step in and say
something or, or like you'resaying, sometimes it's easy,

(29:31):
just let a friend just hit it,you know, and be done with it.
Yeah.
Um,do you not see a problem with
this? I also didn't you justdecide. I guess
I haven't really experiencedthat. So I can't talk on it
firsthand. I mean, do youhave an experience what that you
thought romantic tension or thatyou let a friend hit it and just

(29:53):
you were still able to befriends with no problems?
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Absolutely. Like what letterBrenda hit it. And then just, it
was never a thing after itwasn't we never talked about it
again. It was not, it wasn't athing at all.
And you were able to carry onyour friendship like, it never

(30:15):
happened. Andlike it never happened at all.
Nothing ever changed. I don'tsee why it's odd. There was no
emotional to it and wasn't like,oh, I want to be with you. So
let me see if I could sleep withyou. And then you're gonna like
me, it wasn't any of that. We'reliterally both taking our cars
through a carwash. I was like,Hey, you want to vote? He was

(30:35):
like, yeah, yes. Okay, yeah.
And then there was nothing. Imean, there was no anything
after that, like, at all. Sosomehow, I almost find that hard
to believe that at some point,no relation, like no feelings
got in the way. Like, becausewhat if, and this is going to be

(31:00):
one of theI think he had feelings for
everybody that you've stuffed,like on now.
I mean, but I didn't. I can'tsay that. I remained friends
like I've had relations onenight stands. And I can't say
that for the most part that I'mstill friends with a lot of the

(31:22):
one night stands. It was a onenight stand. That's that was the
purpose of it wasn't just to bebanging my friends when I needed
just a quick booty call. That'swhat a one night stand. That's
the whole purpose of the onenight stand so you can hit it,
quit it and never have to dealwith it again. Friends, you can
get into get into that trickysituation, man. That's That's
why I find it hard to believethat at some point, there was no

(31:45):
emotions that got involved.
Okay, I don't know, I guessbecause it was. I don't know.
For me, it was like, these aremy friends or people that I
know. Like, and trust. No. No,have you mean? I mean, as far as
like, the romantic kitchen orany of that crap. I mean, I had

(32:05):
a friend when you and I firstgot together, and he started
getting weird as shit. And I waslike, alright, you gotta go.
So my point exactly. So once youhave a friend that starts to
kind of buildsome emotion, it's gonna get
weird, right? It's, I mean,it's, it's gonna be weird. That
was already weird, though.

(32:26):
Because that started as like afriends with benefits situation.
And then I was like, Hey, Idon't want to sleep with you. No
more, but we canstill be friends. It's not gonna
happen, man.
Yeah. Then he was very like,yeah, no, not weird. I was like,
okay, I can do it. I guess youcan.
So have you ever experienced anyjealousy or insecurity from a

(32:51):
romantic partner? Regarding anopposite set? Friends? Yeah, you
have. Okay, and how did thatfare out? Did you? Were you?
Were you given the ultimatum?
Like, it's either me or yourfriend? How did that? How did
that play out for you?
Well, it can play out that way.
Because at the time, that Primewas awesome. My broker so I was
my friend was the broker. neverslept with him ever. There was

(33:20):
never anything romantic betweenhim and I, but we were good
friends and we talk to eachother a lot. We were on the
phone with each other a lot.
And, and then significant otherwas just getting kinda kind of
weird about it. Because you'reon the phone, there
is started to be littlecomments, right? Like, just

(33:41):
those little, you know, or, Imean, I worked at the office
really late, a lot. And I was99.9% of the time, they're
completely alone. Like, mybroker biocote came, he was
typically gone. Every once inawhile, he would stay late, but
we would never just stay therelate alone or anything, but

(34:02):
there was always comments.
Always.
Oh, I mean, yeah, if if thesetend to have some kind of
insecurity and says weirdfeeling like, I don't know, man,
somehow she's in the office lateas hell every night talking to
so so every night. Yeah, it'sgonna It is literally going to

(34:26):
physically fuck with somebody'smind that, you know what the
hell you know, and I get it.
It's, it's, it's one of those.
It's one of those careers. But,you know, like, the medical
field, it's gonna fuck withpeople's head, you know, because
you don't know what's actuallygoing on. You know, I think it's
actually in any career that youjust spend most of these long,
late hours in the office, but,you know, it's, if you're not

(34:49):
secure enough with yourself,you're gonna you're gonna
fucking start going through yourown head like coming up with
scenarios and acting the fool.
Wow. Now in your experiencehence, the opposite friends, sex
friendships lead to any romanticrelationships? Or were they able
to be kept purely platonic? Thatwas one of the question. Now we

(35:09):
know you answered the first onemore there. That's what I'll
say. Now that question was goingto be coming up. Now. Where are
their friends that you actuallyhad with? Did you have more
friends? And not that you wereactually able to keep platonic?
Or would you have more friendsthat you actually was just
smashing? Texting through thecarwash and stuff? But then
you'd had friends that you keptplatonic? Yeah. Did you have

(35:33):
more platonic friends? Did youhave more friends with empty
benefits?
I've only had a couple friends?
There are no, I would say moreof them are platonic. Now. I'm
just trying to think on my math,like I didn't
get your math. Correct. Do we?
Do we need to get the scientificcalculator out for this?

(35:57):
Funny, funny,I mean, we can start doing some
long division.
I mean, I'll say on my thigh nowthat I'm thinking about it. I
mean, there was one of myfriends or whatever, that I was
like, Oh, shit, I think I couldcatch a feeling for you. And I'm
not in a place that I want tocatch a feeling I don't want. I

(36:18):
was like, so we might need toback off of our communication a
little bit. Because I knowthat's not what you're wanting.
And I just don't, I don't wantto catch feelings for somebody.
So did you ever have you everhad to end? And I think we
already touched this. When didyou ever have to end a
relationship with a friend beak?
Has romantic feelings started tocome up to come into fruition? I

(36:42):
mean, obviously, you said right.
Before we started talking, youhad your friend. But other than
that one, was there others thatyou just said, Hey, it's not
going to happen. And we need tojust remain friends. We can't.
We can't do this. Because HaveYou Ever Have you ever mixed
business friends with pleasurefriends? I mean, because with
pleasure, because just to tryto, you know, get the next step

(37:05):
in the financial Heder met withsome business friends? No, not
like that. No. Have you mixedbusiness friends? With? Well,
now? It's, it's not a wow, itwas just a general question.
Like, because, you know, youknow, they say that some folks
will find ways to climb up thatladder and sleep with the bosses

(37:25):
or whatever. And it doesn't haveto be a female only it can be a
male, you know, young stood likemyself come across a did you
just say young, you didn't writeI said Young, Young stood like
myself coming to an office andhave a stallion of a boss chick,
you know, like, you know, maybeI can work up the financial

(37:47):
ladder, you know, that could bea possibility. But it doesn't
always have to be the femaleshaving a super way up. So the
question is, did you or have youever had to take a business
friend, and you know, make itmore than a friendship to
benefit in a career? No, really?
I'm not saying that, because I'mshocked. But I'm just saying
because you know,you're sure nobody else can see

(38:08):
you. But I can.
Oh, sorry, my face, give it uplike Oh, shit, she was
Yeah. I mean,climb the financial ladder. So
with your personal growth? Doyou feel that opposite sex

(38:31):
friends benefit you more? Or doyou think that sometimes the
same sex friend can help youbenefit more in your personal
growth?
I get it. That's a toughquestion. And I guess, like I
would love to be able to answerand say that I've really bonded

(38:51):
with some high performing women.
I just have it. Like I told you,that was actually a goal for me
in 2022. I'm like, Okay, I'm outhere. The dating world, most
guys seems super put off by thefact that all of my friends are
dudes. And let me try to buildsome female relationships. And

(39:11):
it was just very difficult. Evenlast year, last, in the spring,
I went to like this, all womensaying and the energy and the
light. I just felt so sick. LikeI didn't enjoy it wasn't none of
it felt warm and welcoming.
Versus when I go to the similarevents at the same place where

(39:34):
the MC, men talk to you easier.
They make it more comfortable,more welcoming, like, I don't
know, men are just so mucheasier to get along with.
We are but there's also timeswhere like, you're friendly to
her. Let's see where this couldpossibly go. Yeah. And I'll say,
No, I'm not saying everybody butI'm just saying I agree. I mean,

(39:55):
let me let me open aconversation and understand that
and see where this potentiallycould potentially go, you know,
so I 100% understand that. No,you did not you did kind of hit
on something where I wanted toalso bring up. It's actually one
of the cons on the list was thatpeople noticed that if you have

(40:15):
to have more male friends, itlooks fun, right? It gives that
social stigma, you know, a lotof inappropriate rumors,
suspicion, it leads into thatjudgment. Like, wait a minute,
she's always with all thesedudes, you know, why is that?
Why she's got more? Dude friendsand female friends? What's up

(40:36):
with that? Sothat normally comes from
females, typically, in justgeneral. But then when you get
into the dating world, because Iwas upfront about it
up front that you were involvedwith somebody or that you happen
to Oh, no, no, no.
Which I had, that I had meantthat most of my friends were men

(40:57):
and betta like I have. At thattime, I have like, close
relationships with three menthat were in my day to day life.
And for some people, they like Inever want to fight anything on
the back end.
So when when you start a newrelationship, is this something
that you normally would bring upimmediately to see how this new

(41:21):
boo would react to you let themknow that, hey, I have a rather
before anew relationship, before there's
even something to call arelationship,
that you would mention that youhave an abundance amount of male
friends compared to femalefriends that way and see how
their initial reaction is. Idon't remember getting that

(41:41):
word the way you did. We didn'thave this conversation.
Remember this conversation? Butthis is why I'm like, oh, no,
that's that's kind of why Ididn't get that conversation. I
didn't talk. Oh, no,no, no. We talked about Joe
number, but we didn't talk aboutwe, we didn't talk about all the
male friends, but I kind offigured out all the male friends

(42:04):
after a while.
No, I spoke about my malefriends from the get go. No, we
didnot have that conversation. We
did not have this.
We were talking about how funnyit was like my friend quit his
best friend Eddie. Oh, that wasso funny. Haha.
That that was just because wehappen to have friends in the

(42:26):
same with the same names. And itjust happened to be that
conversation, butthey just happen to be men and I
just happen to be a female. Oh,yeah. All right. Whatever. We've
talked about my male friends, Idon't know. Our conversations
definitely went very differentthan what my typical mean, you
conversations been different,like when we first met, like our

(42:47):
first encounter with oneanother.
So to sum things up. To sumthings up, the whole myth of
guys can't be friends withfemales and females can't be
friends with males. Do you see?
So you? Wait, wait, wait, wait,hold on. Let me finish was

(43:10):
zero. wait before you sum thisup? Because I just realized I
answered all these questions.
Every single fucking one ofthem.
Yeah, exactly. That's the way itworks. I asked the questions you
answer.
never slept with a femalewhy's call? center my show?
Because I get to. Have you notpicked up on all this? I'm

(43:32):
always asking the questions. Iam the host. I don't necessarily
go through the questions. But Ican go through questions if you
want me to. Have I slept withall right. Are they answered?
Have I slept with any of myfemale friends? No. I mean, like
I said, because usually it's aone night stand situation. It's
not. I tend to not want to takethat. I don't want to paint

(43:54):
that lie. And we'll we'll finishthis after. What? How are we?
Yeah, I I'm telling youhave more questions, I think.
Okay. Ask your questions. Solet's hear let's throw them up
now. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Oh,okay. I just have I see me I'm a
person. I don't want to takethat line. Because I'd rather if
I'm going to keep theirfriendship. I'd rather keep the

(44:15):
friendship now. Has there been aromantic or not romantic
tension. But did feelings everget caught up? Yeah. I mean,
I've had female friends where Ikind of like, you know, like you
said, don't want to catchfeelings. So you kind of like,
start to pull away. You don'twant to catch feelings and mess
things up. But sometimes thosefeelings do grow. And you kind
of just have to realize it's notmeant to be or is that happen

(44:38):
because they might also befeeling the same way that you
know, Dan, well, you don't wantto ruin that friendship. Yeah,
that's one thing I tried not toeven deal with. I'd rather have
my female friends that way I canreach out to them. Shoot the
shit if I have to. And that'sit. So

(44:58):
you think there should be boundvery sad, like in a
relationship, you can do this oryou can't do that, like your
friend of the opposite set?
To, to an extent, probably Yeah,they probably had some
discussion probably needs tohappen, you know, but you know,
for me, I'm not one that is thatmuch of a jealous type person.

(45:20):
So I really probably not thebest answer because I'd be like,
if you want to do something, dosomething, but it's going to be
on your conscious if somethinghappens. And if I find out then
it is what it is nice knowingyour type situation and, you
know, move on. But I do thinkthey're, you know, there should

(45:40):
be conversations or, or thingsof that nature like, yep,
probably shouldn't spend thenight at all your male friends
or female friends house. I mean,yeah, you can have drunken
moments where your friends aregonna pass, obviously, you know,
they're good friends, yeah,they'll pass out. But you also
got to be that responsible oneas well to make sure that you

(46:01):
also respect your partner atthat end, you know, but again,
yeah, those are conversationsthat probably should be had, and
see how comfortable your, yoursignificant others at that
point. So, so some things upbefore you interrupted me some
in the last time. So we'resaying the myth can be busted

(46:24):
that men and female can, ineffect, be friends and not have
anything more than a platonicfriendship? Yay or Nay? Yeah,
absolutely. Agree. So folks,there you have it, we went
through some of the pros andcons. If you want to read more
on the blog article, again, thatis up on whiskey and

(46:47):
uncensored.com. And the subsite, some map title navigation
is blogs, click on it, it'lltake you to all the blogs. And
you can read more on this topic,but I figured it'd be awesome
for us to have physical, youknow, podcast conversations,
male or female, and have thisdiscussion. So all that said, if

(47:08):
you guys enjoy the episode,please make sure you go
subscribe to us on Apple podcastor wherever you're streaming us
from. I know I have a lot offolks that are overseas as well
that listen to the show. So Ithank you very much. And if you
can share us with your friends.
We'd love to have more followersin different parts of the
country around the world. Andmake sure you go check us out on

(47:32):
our socials risky to anduncensored on Facebook, and
risky and uncensored onInstagram. We'd love to have you
there as well. join ournewsletter if you'd like whiskey
and uncensored.com and Gina, doyou have anything before we say
our final dreaming sign offmessage here? No, we're good.
And with that, as always. Drinkyour whiskey and enjoy your life

(47:56):
and we're out
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