November 18, 2025 • 39 mins
*Special Episode* Outside of Sunday Women's Retreat --Part 1 of 2--
I was blessed to share at the Outside of Sunday Retreat in Spring 2025, here is the recording. Check out Christa Otter's ministry at Outside of Sunday Podcast | Christian
Ever feel like you believe the right things but live without the joy you were promised? We open 1 John and get honest about the gap. John writes as an eyewitness who touched and followed Jesus, inviting us into koinonia—deep, shared life with God and one another—so that our joy may be full. Not a fleeting mood, but a calm delight anchored in truth.
We unpack the line that changes everything: God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. That claim ends fence-sitting. If we say we walk with Him while clinging to shadows—comparison, bitterness, secret comforts—we feel like frauds because our lives and lips clash. The turning point isn’t willpower; it’s light. When we welcome the light, it reveals what wounds us and heals what binds us. Confession becomes more than a doorway to salvation. It becomes a daily habit that keeps fellowship warm, clears the fog of shame, and lets grace do its cleansing work.
Across this conversation we explore how surrender reframes growth, why honest confession leads to freedom, and how joy rises when we stop hiding. Expect practical language, Scripture woven through, and stories that meet you where you are. If you’ve been carrying the weight of trying to look “together” while feeling empty, this is a gentle but clear call back to the heart of the gospel: bring everything into the light and let Jesus do what only He can do.
If this spoke to you, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs hope today, and leave a quick review so more women can find these conversations. What will you surrender this week?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Julie (00:19):
Kiora, and welcome to Whispers of Grace, a place for
women to be encouraged by God'sholy word.
I'm your host, Julie Colbeth,and I am overjoyed to dig into
the Bible with you today.
Christa (00:38):
I'm just going to introduce Julie and then we're
going to get straight into it.
So, yes, our first speaker forthe weekend is the lovely Julie
Colbeth.
So I first connected with Juliein early 2024 after someone
recommended her podcast.
It was actually Hayley fromToronga.
Julie is such a patient Bibleteacher.
I love her podcast, Whispers ofGrace.
(01:00):
It quickly became one of myfavorites.
She really does help us diginto the truth of scripture
gently, brushing away confusionand revealing the truth and the
treasure that is inside.
Her teaching has impacted me ina big way, and every time I
listen, I learn something newand feel challenged to grow in
my understanding of God's word.
(01:21):
But more than that is the gracethat flows both through her
teaching and through her life,and I'm really thankful for
that.
Julie is passionate abouttruth, unity in the body of
Christ as well, and grace forthe broken places we all have.
She's a wife and mum of four,an outdoors lover, and a bit of
a bird geek, I hear, and someonewho carries both boldness and
(01:44):
tenderness in how she followsJesus.
Her story hasn't been withoutchallenges, but through every
messy and painful season, she'sseen God bring growth and
redemption.
And I'm so thankful she's herewith us this weekend.
I know the Lord has somethingreally special to share through
her today.
So welcome, Julie.
Julie (02:04):
Thank you, Krista, for the intro.
I think when I used to getintroduced for things and they
would say nice things about me,I would feel really bad, like,
oh, stop saying nice things.
But I the more that I grow inGod, the more I realize that
truly every single little bit ofgoodness that you have seen is
only because of Jesus.
And I'm gonna be really weepytoday.
(02:26):
The Lord has just been had mein a season of breaking and
building me back up and reallyshowing me that truly anything
that is good that is in me isfrom him.
So it's okay to claim thatbecause it's his glory.
It's truly for him because Iknow what it looks like when I
do things and I know what itlooks like when he does.
(02:47):
So I am so excited to be herewith you and get into the word
of God because it is truly mymost favorite thing in the whole
earth to do is to dig into theword and to teach and to
encourage us.
Because I look out and I seeall of you, and I truly feel
like you're my family.
You guys, like what I wassaying yesterday, like we're
(03:07):
gonna spend eternity together.
How beautiful is that! Like, Idon't know all of your names,
but we are gonna be ever foreverbonded in the fellowship of
Christ.
And that is just that is thetruth that supersedes anything
we can see.
Anything that we walk in, anyof our friendships is that
truth.
That eternity is awaiting us,and we get to know each other
there, and that is soencouraging.
(03:29):
So, today, what I want to showand what I want you guys to see
is the light of God and whatthat really means.
I love the verse that Kristapicked because it had light in
it, talked about the light ofGod, and I was like, oh, this is
the verse that I'm gonna settleinto.
And it brought me to the bookof 1 John.
So if you have your Bible,please open to 1 John.
(03:51):
It's at it's near the end.
So if you're hitting like Judeand Revelation, go a little bit
forward and then you'll be at 1John.
Have you ever wondered how yourChristian life is really
supposed to look?
Because we live in a fallenworld and we are fallen people
(04:11):
and we live around other fallenpeople.
And it is really, really hard,I think, to take the truths of
the scripture and see themactually played out in our life.
I think in our heads we we knowthe gospel.
We know that Jesus wascrucified for our sins, that he
took them.
If you, it says that if youconfess with your mouth and you
believe in your heart the LordJesus, then you'll have
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salvation.
And for those of us that haveaccepted that, have believed in
that, we know that we're saved.
We know that we're followingJesus.
But sometimes our life doesn'tlook like it and it doesn't feel
like it.
And we ask, where is the joy?
Where's the power?
Where is the intimacy?
Where is the sanctification?
Like I don't feel like I'mreally a Christian.
(04:55):
Have you ever thought thatbefore?
Or is my life just this biglie?
Am I actually following Jesus?
Where's the freedom?
Where's the growth?
Where's the passion?
Where is the abundant love thatwe're supposed to have for
other people?
I know I have had long seasonswhere I have felt empty and
devoid of all of these goodthings that God says that He
(05:16):
gives to us.
And He tells us over and overagain that His yoke is easy and
His burden is light.
But I don't always feel likethings I'm carrying are light
and easy.
So, how do we make sense ofwhat we see in our life and what
we read in the scripture andwhat we know to be true?
I want to dig into the book of1 John because there's 1 John is
(05:39):
an amazing book.
If you haven't read it or youhadn't read it lately, I would
suggest over the next couple ofdays, it's just a couple of
chapters.
It's a really easy read.
Now, the man who wrote this isJohn, the one that laid his his
head on the breast of Jesus atthe Last Supper.
This is the bill, John theBeloved.
So this is a man that walkedwith Jesus, that was one of his
(06:03):
intimate friends, that saw himtransfigured on the mountain.
This is who this man is.
I think if we're gonna taketruth from any other source
besides Jesus himself, this manis somebody that we would want
to listen to because he wasintimately acquainted with the
heart of Christ.
I can't even imagine.
All right, so the book of 1John, we're just gonna read the
(06:25):
first three verses.
It says, We proclaim to you theone who existed from the
beginning, whom we have heardand seen.
We saw him with our own eyesand touched him with our own
hands.
He is the word of life.
This one, who is life itself,was revealed to us, and we have
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seen him.
And now we testify and proclaimto you that he is the one who
is eternal life.
He was with the Father, andthen he was revealed to us.
We proclaim to you that weourselves have actually seen and
heard so that you may havefellowship with us, and our
fellowship is with the Fatherand with His Son Jesus Christ.
(07:11):
We are writing these things sothat you may fully share in our
joy.
So that is how he starts outhis gospel, his little baby
gospel.
The evidence of truth that heis laying out.
He's telling everyone, I'm aneyewitness.
I actually touched Jesus, Iwalked with him, I saw him when
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the mobs came against him, I sawhim ministering when he was
exhausted, I saw himtransfigured, I touched him, I
saw him.
So it's like he's pleading withthis in the beginning of this
book.
Listen, I've been with Jesus,listen to what I have to tell
you.
And I think that that takes meaback when I think about the
reality of that.
(07:55):
Because if you want to know,like if I didn't know Krista and
I met her, who do you think Icould talk to that would
actually be able to tell me whoshe is?
Jamie, right?
Her children, her best friends,her mom.
These are the people thatreally, really know us.
And this was that person forJesus, for the Son of God.
This was his close tightperson.
(08:16):
Now, we actually, he tells usin the beginning of this book
why he's written this letter.
It says in verse 3 that you mayhave fellowship with us, and
truly our fellowship is with theFather and His Son Jesus.
So he's saying, the reason I'mwriting you this letter is so
you can have deep, intimatecommunion with us, with Jesus,
(08:38):
with the Father, and with theSon.
That's the purpose of writingthis letter.
And the beautiful thing aboutthat is he just said that he was
an eyewitness, and all of hisfriends at this time are being
scattered and persecuted.
And he's still standing infirmness, talking about talking
about this truth, talking aboutthis God of light, and wanting
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to invite other people into thatfellowship.
Now, the word he usesfellowship, the Greek word is
koinania, which is a prettycommon Christian word that we
like to use for things.
Koinonia means like-mindedness,a partnership or a sharing, a
communion and a deepconnectedness.
So that is John's the reason.
He wants us to have a deepconnectedness with Jesus, with
(09:24):
the Holy Spirit.
I can't think of anything thatI want more than that, truly,
because I know I desperatelyneed it.
I cannot continue to walk inthis life without a deep
connectedness to God.
And he tells us that thisfellowship is essential.
He mentions it first.
It's essential for having thisconnectedness with God, but also
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with other people.
With fellow this fellowshipthat we share with one another
is so, so important.
Because when we're with otherpeople, it's difficult, right?
It's not easy when we have ourspouses and our brothers and our
sisters and our children andour friends.
We rub up against each other.
People say things that botheryou, they look at you a certain
way.
We have all of these timeswhere we just brush up against
(10:09):
each other, but that fellowshipis so necessary to make us more
like Jesus.
So John is calling us into thatfellowship, not only with Jesus
who gives us salvation, butwith everybody else that has
fallen and trying to figure itout just like us.
And that is not easy, myfriends.
Walking in fellowship,like-mindedness with other
believers is difficult, butwe're called to it.
(10:31):
John tells us his second motivefor writing in verse 4.
He says, These things we writeto you that your joy may be
full.
Now, this kind of relates towhat I talked about at the
beginning.
I don't always feel like my joyis full.
I don't know about you, butsometimes I feel really, really
(10:52):
sad or angry or discouraged ordistracted.
But John is saying that our joycan be full.
Now, the joy that he's talkingabout is rooted in truth.
It is immovable, it isunshakable, and it is impossible
to take away from or add to.
It is unchanging.
(11:14):
That's what he says about joy.
And this joy that he's talkingabout can fill you up to the
top.
Think of when you're filling upa picture and then the water
runs over the top.
That's the picture of the joythat he's saying that we should
have.
It's that overflowing cup.
The Greek word actually means acheerfulness, a calm delight.
(11:35):
I love that.
A calm delight, gladness orexceeding joy.
This is the same word that'sused in Galatians for the fruit
of the Spirit, joy.
This is the same word that Lukeused when he described the joy
at the birth of Christ, a joythat was bubbling and
overflowing.
This is the word that Matthewused in his gospel when he
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talked about the disciples'hearts when they discovered that
the tomb was empty and therewasn't a body there anymore.
This is the same word, joy, anoverflowing, calm gladness that
cannot be held down bycircumstance.
This is the same word that Johnused in his gospel to describe
the state of a woman after shegives birth to a child, the joy
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that she feels that is pouredout in your heart.
That is something that Goddoes.
So this joy that John iswanting us to fellowship with
him in, it is deep, it isintense, but it relies on truth.
It relies on life and love toflourish.
It is not based on ourcircumstance, it is not based on
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our ideas of what we think ourlife needs to look like.
This is why the Apostle Johnwrites the letter to the
believers.
He was inspired by this joy andhe wanted to share it with
others.
And the truth is that this joythat fills us up is for each of
us to walk in in real life.
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It's not just a pretty picturethat we put on a shelf.
It's something that isrealistic, that we can actually
function in in our day-to-daylife.
And I think that we're all herebecause we're seeking that
truth and the joy that comesalong with it.
The joy of Christ.
We're seeking it, we're lookingfor it.
That's why we're sitting here.
Because we know that we need toget away from things to come
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under the Lordship of JesusChrist once again and be
reminded what is important andbe reminded who we are.
Be reminded who He is.
This is why we're sitting inthis room.
It is an unshakable truth andit roots us deeply to our
purpose.
We're here because we needJesus.
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We don't just desire him, weneed him.
Like I need my next breath.
We need him.
And I forget that.
I don't know about you guys,but I forget how much I need him
because I just wake up and goabout my day and I brush my
teeth and I get dressed and Iget my kids to school and I go
to work and I do life.
And I forget how much I needhim.
But as we're reading throughthis beautiful little book, we
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will see that our happiness doesnot come from our
circumstances.
Our true joy, it doesn't comefrom what's happening around us.
It doesn't come from the factthat our rates went up this year
and we don't know what'shappening with our kids and all
the things, like lay outeverything that's in your heart
and your mind that you broughthere today.
Happiness comes and goes, butthat joy is not found in those
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circumstances.
And if you are somebody that isled around by your
circumstances, you will bemiserable.
And if you're wondering why amI not seeing the fruit of the
spirit in my life, it's becauseyou are letting the waves toss
you around, which we all do.
I am not throwing any shadebecause I have been there time
and time again.
We get thrown around by ourcircumstances, by our hearts, by
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the messy things we walkthrough, and we forget who our
joy is.
We forget who the truth is, andwe need to be reminded of this.
And I am so thankful that theApostle John, who rested his
head on the chest of Jesus,wrote this book for us to
understand this in a deep way.
(15:13):
Now you might think, wow,that's a lot of words that you
just said about the beginning ofthis book.
It is, it's true.
But it's really, reallyimportant for you to believe
what he's going to say bysetting out all those things.
Because this book is not, isthis book is a heavy hitter.
This book throws things aroundwhere you read it and you're
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like, what?
So this is why I'm remindingyou of who you are, who you are
in Christ and what the Biblesays about you.
All right.
First John, we're gonna move oninto verse five.
It says, This is the messagethat we heard from Jesus and now
declare to you.
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God is light, and in him is nodarkness at all.
That is a very simplestatement, but there is power,
and that simple statement.
There is no yin and yang, thereis no little spot of darkness
in God.
God is completely pure, he isnot compromised in truth ever.
(16:18):
Regardless of what Satan doesor what we do or what the world
does, his truth is notcompromised.
He is light.
He does not lack in love, henever fails at loving you, even
when you screw up.
He loves people that don't evenlove him and gave his life for
them.
He is pure light.
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He is not a God who breakspromises because he is pure
light.
He cannot lie.
These things should give ushope because then when we read
what he says, we know all thesethings are true.
There can be no harboring offalsehood in God.
He never hides.
He doesn't have envy, hedoesn't have to strive.
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There's no pride and no vanityin our God, no selfish ambition,
because he is light.
The only reason that we haveany light in this earth is
because God spoke it into being.
Any little picture of light,like I said with Krista's
introduction, any little shimmerof light has come from God.
Everything that is good andtrue finds its source in him.
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And nothing corrupt can touchhis perfection.
Nothing can destroy that.
Now that gives me a lot of hopebecause if you look around the
world, it is discouraging.
What is happening in ourcountry, what is happening in
other countries, the wars, thefamines, the persecution, it is
very easy to think, God, how areyou still in charge of all
this?
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But he is light.
He's not changed bycircumstance, he is above it, he
knows it.
Not only does he know it, buthe still rules it all.
He's still in charge.
There is no fence sitting withthis kind of light.
And this is the truth that thebook of John, first John, brings
us to.
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There is no fence sitting.
You cannot be the yin and theyang and think I'm just gonna
sit in the middle and I kind ofbelieve in Jesus, but I don't
want to give him my life.
You can't do that with thiskind of a God.
You're either in or you're out.
He says, Jesus says, you'reeither for me or you're against
me.
And that is the kind of truththat the book of 1 John brings
to us.
And it is a hard truth and ahard reality to face, but I
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would be doing you a disserviceif I did not bring you face to
face with that truth.
There is no part-timesunbathing in the light of the
King of Kings, and then seekingthe shadow's embrace to make you
feel better and comfort yourheart.
How often do we do that?
Where we love Jesus, we'refilled with his light, but then
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we really need some comfort, andso we seek it in the shadow.
We seek it in the world, weseek it in things that are not
found in who he is, and weexpect it to fill it up, fill us
up, and really it's poisoningour soul, but we think it's
giving us life.
That's what we do, ladies.
Because we set our hope and ourmind on things that just don't
fill us up because they're notthe light.
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They're not, they can'tcompare.
Help me watch the time becauseI'm not good at watching the
time.
First John 1, 6.
So the next verse down.
Oh no.
Oh, we did.
God is light and there's nodarkness.
Yes, we're up to six.
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So if we say that we havefellowship with him and walk in
darkness, we lie and we do notpractice the truth.
Now, you remember when I saidthis is a hard-hitting book?
This is one of those truthswhere you read and you're like,
What?
So when we think aboutdarkness, it's the opposite of
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light, right?
Out here last night it wasdark.
It's not dark.
I live in Hamilton, like in themiddle of Hamilton.
So even when it's dark, it'snot dark.
Here it's dark.
You walk outside and you'relike, you really can't see
anything.
And I know that there's nothingout here that's gonna eat me.
There's no bears, like there'smaybe a possum.
But still, when I walk outside,I'm like, I'm fine, I'm safe,
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but it just like it kind ofgrows on you, right?
The darkness, and you feel likeit's like swallowing you.
At least I do, but maybe I'mlike my my mind just like goes.
But you walk out and stand inthe middle of a field and feel
that darkness that is all aroundyou.
That is the absolute oppositeof light and what light does,
but yet that's what we seek sooften.
We want the darkness to coverus.
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We want to be hidden.
We don't want people to see ourflaws.
We don't want to see our ownflaws.
You know, sometimes you turnthat light on in the morning and
you look at your face andyou're like, oh my gosh, I ate a
lot of salt last night becauseyou're like, you can't see your
eyes, and you're like all puffyand just a mess.
You're like, I don't want thelight, like turn it off.
I did not need to know thatthat's what I look like today.
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And we don't want the lightbecause it shows all of our
imperfections.
It shows the imperfections ofothers, it shows the
imperfections of our world.
So the light can be terrifying.
We can think that it'sterrifying and run away and want
to hide in that gar darknessand feel like it's gonna wrap us
up and just keep us safe.
But really, like you flick onthe light and you think of the
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things you do in the darksometimes, like as a little kid,
right?
Like you get under yourblanket, you pull your knees up,
like you're you're like allhuddled up together.
If you turn the light on, youjust feel ridiculous, right?
Because you're like, I wasn'tthat scared.
Like I was fine, you know.
Everything was okay.
I wasn't holding my flashlightlike this, but you turn the
light on, and it doesn't evenmake sense what you were just
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doing.
And nothing has changed exceptyou've turned the light on.
And I feel like I see myself inthat a lot.
I think that I'm doing myself afavor by hiding these little
things that are in my heart, orhiding them from other people,
or not really talking to thatperson that's hurt me, or
whatever it is, fill in the sinsthat you run to.
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And we feel like we're safe inthem.
And then when the light getsflicked on, you're like, wow, I
look ridiculous.
Because God's like, I am thesource of joy.
Like, come to me.
I want to fill you.
Let me do my work in you.
And you're like, no, it's okay.
It's too hard.
I'm too scared.
That person is scary.
I don't want to talk to them.
I don't want to face that, Idon't want to deal with it.
I do not want to forgive,whatever it is.
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We feel safe in the darkness.
But that's not where God has usto live.
And then we wonder, why aren'twe living the abundant life?
Lord, why am I not walking inabundance?
Where's my where's my peace?
Where's my hope?
Where's my joy?
Where's my love?
And he's like, really?
You're curled up in a ball,like with the flashlight under a
blanket.
You need to let me turn thelight on.
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Because it says here in 1 John,we're lying.
If we say that we havefellowship with God, but we keep
living in spiritual darkness,it says that it we're a liar.
Because you know the truth, butyou're not actually living it.
And we all do that.
We're all Pharisees.
We all know the good to do, butwe don't do it.
And this is Paul's strugglethat he talks about in the book
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of Romans, right?
He knows all the good things todo, but he keeps failing at it.
And he eventually says, Oh,wretched man that I am, who will
save me from this body ofdeath?
That's where Paul ends.
But then he goes on to say, butGod.
And that, my friends, is theturning point of our lives.
You can hide in the darknessunder the blanket with a
flashlight, or you can let himturn on the light, which is
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scary.
It takes surrender.
You have to be surrendered toChrist if you are going to let
him turn the light on, becausedarkness is the opposite of
light.
So when you find yourselfembracing darkness, remind
yourself this is the opposite ofJesus.
This is the opposite of who heis and what he's created.
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The crazy thing is, this bookof 1 John, in 1 John 5, 13, it
says, These things I've writtento you who believe in the name
of the Son of God.
So John is telling them, I'mwriting this book to believers,
people who have already claimedJesus as their Messiah, have
confessed, and are walking inhim.
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That's who this book is to.
And it's still telling us thatwe lie if we walk in the
darkness.
So this is a really interestingthing to start thinking about
and digging into.
How could John be writing toChristians and saying that we
can still walk in darkness?
I think that we have to kind ofdivide it into two sections.
Because I think the problemthat we have is we often rob the
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cross of its power by choosingto walk in darkness.
And that's something that wedo.
That's our choice.
Because theologically, I knowthat 1 Peter 1.19 tells me that
Jesus was a spotless sacrifice.
He was perfection, that hefulfilled all the requirements
of the law for me.
I know that theologically.
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So the theological part is thatwe're pure, just like Christ is
pure.
1 Peter 2, 9 tells us, but youare a chosen generation, a royal
priesthood, a holy nation, hisown special people, that you may
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proclaim the praises of him whocalled you out of darkness and
into his marvelous light.
God calls you perfect and pure,even when you don't feel like
it.
That is your stance.
You are seated with God in theheavenlies.
That is who God says you are.
But can you still throw thatblanket over your head and hide
in the darkness?
Absolutely.
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And I think that's where ourminds kind of struggle.
It's like, well, I'm a child ofGod, but your choices don't
line up with the choices thatyou've made.
Your salvation is telling youone thing and is kind of
dragging you the other.
1 Peter 2.11 says, Behold, Ibeg you, as sojourners and
(25:56):
pilgrims, abstain from fleshlylusts which war against your
soul.
So again, these people arecoming to you.
These amazing men of faith arecoming to you saying, You have
believed in Jesus, but you stillhave to make a choice to walk
the way he tells you to walk.
You still have to make a choiceto forgive.
You still have to make a choiceto do what's right over and
(26:20):
over again.
Romans 6.11, it says, Countyourselves dead to sin, but
alive to God in Christ Jesus.
The word tells us over and overand over again that we have to
count ourselves dead.
We have to continue to chooselife.
We have to continue to walk inthe light.
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Or 1 John says that we'reliars.
Now that may seem an impossibletask.
It does seem an impossibletask, right?
You're like, well, I'm gonnascrew up again and again, and so
what do I do?
You know, and it could veryeasily like sink you into the
pit of despair, thinking, I'mnot enough.
I can't do this on my own, andI'm just gonna fail.
I guess I am a liar, you know?
(27:02):
Or you can go the other way andbe like, I'm not really that
big of a sinner.
Like, I do pretty good.
I go to church on Sundays, Iserve, I even tithe, I help
people with stuff, I'm nice.
I'm okay.
I'm not walking in any kind ofdarkness.
That just shows how far you arefrom the light.
(27:22):
Because I have been on bothsides of that, of those parties,
rocked it out on both sides,and realized how bad they both
are.
Because when I thought that Iwas holy and righteous, God just
came and peeked under myblanket and was like, You really
want to shine a light oneverything?
I was like, What do you mean,Lord?
And I will tell you, part oflike what I was saying, and that
(27:43):
I have been really, reallybroken lately, I read this book
called Um Calvary Road by RoyHeshin.
It's amazing.
But he essentially just talksabout how we have to live our
lives in light of the gospelevery day.
And that sounds like a goodChristian tagline, right?
Like I've heard that before,but God just made it so real to
me.
(28:03):
Like, are you living with meevery moment, every day?
Like in your conversations, areyou confessing to me?
Uh, not really.
When you lose your temper withyour kid, are you confessing
that to me?
When you lots of things, right?
Like, and since I've beengetting into this habit of the
Lord showing me all the sin thatI have, I'm I've been
(28:24):
overwhelmed.
I'm like, man, God, like Ican't, those thoughts that just
come into your head, you know,or that the things that you
think about, like, uh, mm-mm.
You know, these little thingsthat kind of come up and we
don't think about them, that'sall sin.
That's all darkness, and thatall needs to be brought to
Jesus, to the foot of the cross.
That is what he's saying.
(28:45):
It's written for believersbecause believers need it.
We need to understand what thismeans for us.
So moving on, 1 John chapter 1,verse 7.
It says, But if we walk in thelight, as he is in the light, we
have fellowship with oneanother, and the blood of Jesus
(29:08):
Christ, his son, cleanses usfrom all sin.
If we say that we have no sin,we deceive ourselves, and the
truth is not in us.
That again, he's talking tobelievers here, he's not talking
to the world.
If we confess our sins, he isfaithful and just to forgive us
our sins and cleanse us from allunrighteousness.
(29:30):
Now tell me that verse is notthe one that you think of when
you want to share the gospelwith somebody.
I know that's the verse that Ithink of a lot of times.
If we confess our sins, he'sfaithful and just to forgive us
our sins and to cleanse us fromall unrighteousness.
That's salvation talk.
Right?
That's what you need to knowwhen you come to Jesus before
you have any understanding ofwho he is.
(29:51):
You need to know you're asinner, he's perfect light, and
you need to bow down to that andrealize, Lord, I got nothing on
you.
I need you to come in and fixme.
You need to confess that tohim.
That's what we need to do whenwe come to salvation.
This book is written forbelievers.
Do you read this as a believerand feel like it still applies
to you?
Because I kind of sometimesfeel like I did that.
(30:12):
Check.
That box is ticked in my book.
And God's like, is it?
That is the beauty of thisbook, is that this man who wrote
this at the end of his life,after walking with Jesus for a
long, long time, he still comesback to the basics.
And he's writing salvationverses about confession and
(30:35):
about humbleness and about sin.
Because he's realizing afreshhow sinful he is.
Even though he's been seatedwith God in the heavenly places
and his salvation is secure,even though all of those things
are true, he realizes how easyit is to walk in darkness, how
easy it is to pull the blanketover his head.
(30:55):
And afresh he's saying, we needto confess our sins.
Not once, not every now andthen.
We need to be about confessingour sins.
Because he's faithful and justto forgive us and to cleanse us,
but not if we hold on.
And we love to hold those sinsto our chest, and we don't want
to give them up to anybody foranything.
(31:17):
That is why you are feelingstuck.
That is why you're feelinglonely and like Christianity
makes no sense.
That's why you feel like theBible is a lie sometimes.
That's why.
Because you're trying to do theGod thing your own way, and
you're not doing it the way thatHe tells us to do it.
(31:38):
Now, that way takes a lot ofhumility, takes a lot of honesty
with yourself, with otherpeople.
It's hard.
That is not easy to do.
I don't want somebody to shinethe light on me first thing in
the morning.
But God's like, let me see itall.
I love you.
I know it anyway.
Bring it before me andsurrender.
Stop fighting me and surrender.
(32:01):
Give it to me.
Give me control.
Give me your hearts.
Give me your sins.
Give me your struggles.
Give me your fear.
He knows your fear.
We've all got them.
We don't have enough money.
What if I never get married?
What if my kids walk away fromJesus?
What if, what if, what if?
What if the world goes intowar?
What we can freak ourselves outwith a thousand things, but God
(32:25):
knows every single fear and Hewants us to bring it to Him.
I know that we need, I need, Ineed to be confessing my sins.
I this is something I have beenheavily practicing lately.
Where honestly, anytime thatanything comes into my head
where I feel like I'm comparingmyself with somebody else, I'm
like, oh Lord, I'm sorry.
(32:46):
I give that to you.
Like she's beautiful andlovely, and you call her your
daughter, and like, how dare I?
And then I'll walk in truth.
And it's that simple.
I think we get really, reallycaught up in the process of it.
But if you can, if you can praythis prayer today, ladies, and
say, God, okay, I want to dothat.
I want you to show me all thestuff that's kicking around in
(33:09):
my heart that I don't I that Iwant to ignore.
I want you to show me all thethings that I don't even see
about myself that I've neverthought was wrong before.
I want you to show me theunforgiveness and the
bitterness.
I want you to show me all of myfears, my striving, my
self-will.
I want you to show me my pride.
Lord, show it to me.
(33:30):
And you know what?
He'll do it.
And it's really, really hard.
It's really, really hard atfirst.
But the more you walk in it,the more freeing it is.
Because you realize that thatsin that maybe you've held to
your chest for years does notdefine you.
It is not who you are.
That sin that you're stuck inthat you feel like you can't
(33:52):
shake off is not who you are.
God says that you are beloved,that he adores you as a
daughter, as a bride, that youare pure and clean.
That is what he says about you.
I think a lot of times we don'twant to bring our sin into the
light because we feel like itmakes us look bad.
You're like, well, I don't wantthem to know that I'm prideful.
I don't want them to know I'mjealous.
(34:12):
Like, I don't want them to knowthat I'm angry or lustful.
I don't want them to know.
God knows.
And he knows that that's thesin, but that's not who you are.
That's not who you're createdto be.
So cast that thing off, man.
Stop making it a part of youridentity.
It's not who he calls you tobe.
But I think fear holds us backa lot of times because we're
afraid.
What if we give God everythingand we give him full access and
(34:35):
we really give him the keys andsay, all right, open the doors,
shine the light.
We're terrified of what that'sgoing to look like because he
might make you give this thingup.
He might make you actuallyapologize to the person that
you've never apologized to.
He might make you do a wholelot of things.
But that's what it's like towalk in abundance.
That's where the abundant lifeis.
(34:55):
It is in full surrender.
But I think day to day weforget that we're not
surrendered.
We think we are because we gaveour lives to Jesus and we're
like walking along, feeling likewe're good and fine.
And God's like, are you reallysurrendered?
When's the last time yousubmitted all your thoughts to
me?
That's scary.
But this is what he is callingus to do.
(35:17):
And I think that is why Johnputs it the way he does.
If we confess our sins, he isfaithful and just to forgive us
our sins and to cleanse us fromall unrighteousness, because
that's his job.
That's the part that he does,is he comes in and he cleans us
out.
He takes all of those sins, allof the mess, all of the stuff
that you've been strugglingwith, and he's like, I got this.
(35:38):
You keep looking at me, youkeep surrendering, and I got
this.
I'm gonna take care of all thisjunk for you.
And it's a process and it's noteasy, and it doesn't just go
away.
But that's what our God does.
And that is what he'sencouraging us to do in this
book to be in a constant stateof brokenness, which is not
(36:00):
easy.
But I know I would much ratherbe broken before God than try
and fit my life together andwalk like I've got it all
together when I'm like walkingin lies, and then feeling like
you're a fraud and feeling likethe Bible's not real, and
feeling like God's not real, andHe doesn't even, He doesn't
even do what He says anyway.
What is this whole Christianthing about, anyway?
(36:21):
It's because we haven'tsurrendered.
Not really.
Maybe we surrendered once atthe cross, but we don't
surrender daily and we hold onto stuff, and God's like, just
give it to me.
I want it, I want to cleanseyou, and I want you to walk in
the light.
So I know that that's a bigpunch for a first session.
But like I said, I think Iwould be doing a disservice if I
(36:46):
didn't just lay these truthsout because I think this is one
of the main things that holds usback in our lives, that makes
us feel stuck, that makes usfeel lonely and rejected and
fraudulent.
You know, the imposter syndromethat everybody likes to talk
about now.
But it's real.
We feel like we're not we'renot even living our life.
(37:08):
And I think this is why,because we have areas of our
hearts that are unsurrendered.
And this is what God hasbrought to me this week and is
bringing to you.
So I'm gonna end it there forthis session.
Sorry.
Um, I would love to pray forall of us as we just kind of
move into morning tea orsomething.
(37:29):
She's gonna do some Chris someannouncements.
Okay, I'm gonna pray firstthough.
Lord, we thank you so much foryour word, for the fact that we
can open up this letter thatyou've sent to us and it answers
our questions, Lord, and itclarifies things and it brings
(37:50):
light into our darkness.
God, you are light, and in youis supposed to be fullness of
joy.
So, Lord, I pray that if we'renot feeling that, if we're not
walking in that truth, if we'renot surrendered, Lord, you would
help us to get there.
And maybe it's not aninstantaneous thing that happens
in this moment, Lord, but Itrust that you are working on
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each of us in this room.
So, Lord, I pray that your HolySpirit would bring conviction,
but would also we would be ableto recognize the condemnation
that Satan wants to throw in ourface to keep us away from you.
And Lord, we we just ask foryour presence to fill this place
up, that you would give usdirection, that it would be
divine, that it would be yours.
And we love you, Jesus.
(38:33):
We give you the rest of thisday, the rest of the sessions.
We just pray that you'dcontinue to be with us in our
conversation, in our thoughts,in our notes, that you would
just hold on to the littlenuggets of truth that you give
us, Lord, and just breathe onthem, give them life, bring them
to fruition, God, that youwould bring fruit and life.
And we love you so much, Jesus.
(38:54):
Amen.
Kiora, and welcome to Whispers of Grace, a place for
women to be encouraged by God'sholy word.
I'm your host, Julie Colbeth,and I am overjoyed to dig into
the Bible with you today.
Christa (00:38):
I'm just going to introduce Julie and then we're
going to get straight into it.
So, yes, our first speaker forthe weekend is the lovely Julie
Colbeth.
So I first connected with Juliein early 2024 after someone
recommended her podcast.
It was actually Hayley fromToronga.
Julie is such a patient Bibleteacher.
I love her podcast, Whispers ofGrace.
(01:00):
It quickly became one of myfavorites.
She really does help us diginto the truth of scripture
gently, brushing away confusionand revealing the truth and the
treasure that is inside.
Her teaching has impacted me ina big way, and every time I
listen, I learn something newand feel challenged to grow in
my understanding of God's word.
(01:21):
But more than that is the gracethat flows both through her
teaching and through her life,and I'm really thankful for
that.
Julie is passionate abouttruth, unity in the body of
Christ as well, and grace forthe broken places we all have.
She's a wife and mum of four,an outdoors lover, and a bit of
a bird geek, I hear, and someonewho carries both boldness and
(01:44):
tenderness in how she followsJesus.
Her story hasn't been withoutchallenges, but through every
messy and painful season, she'sseen God bring growth and
redemption.
And I'm so thankful she's herewith us this weekend.
I know the Lord has somethingreally special to share through
her today.
So welcome, Julie.
Julie (02:04):
Thank you, Krista, for the intro.
I think when I used to getintroduced for things and they
would say nice things about me,I would feel really bad, like,
oh, stop saying nice things.
But I the more that I grow inGod, the more I realize that
truly every single little bit ofgoodness that you have seen is
only because of Jesus.
And I'm gonna be really weepytoday.
(02:26):
The Lord has just been had mein a season of breaking and
building me back up and reallyshowing me that truly anything
that is good that is in me isfrom him.
So it's okay to claim thatbecause it's his glory.
It's truly for him because Iknow what it looks like when I
do things and I know what itlooks like when he does.
(02:47):
So I am so excited to be herewith you and get into the word
of God because it is truly mymost favorite thing in the whole
earth to do is to dig into theword and to teach and to
encourage us.
Because I look out and I seeall of you, and I truly feel
like you're my family.
You guys, like what I wassaying yesterday, like we're
(03:07):
gonna spend eternity together.
How beautiful is that! Like, Idon't know all of your names,
but we are gonna be ever foreverbonded in the fellowship of
Christ.
And that is just that is thetruth that supersedes anything
we can see.
Anything that we walk in, anyof our friendships is that
truth.
That eternity is awaiting us,and we get to know each other
there, and that is soencouraging.
(03:29):
So, today, what I want to showand what I want you guys to see
is the light of God and whatthat really means.
I love the verse that Kristapicked because it had light in
it, talked about the light ofGod, and I was like, oh, this is
the verse that I'm gonna settleinto.
And it brought me to the bookof 1 John.
So if you have your Bible,please open to 1 John.
(03:51):
It's at it's near the end.
So if you're hitting like Judeand Revelation, go a little bit
forward and then you'll be at 1John.
Have you ever wondered how yourChristian life is really
supposed to look?
Because we live in a fallenworld and we are fallen people
(04:11):
and we live around other fallenpeople.
And it is really, really hard,I think, to take the truths of
the scripture and see themactually played out in our life.
I think in our heads we we knowthe gospel.
We know that Jesus wascrucified for our sins, that he
took them.
If you, it says that if youconfess with your mouth and you
believe in your heart the LordJesus, then you'll have
(04:32):
salvation.
And for those of us that haveaccepted that, have believed in
that, we know that we're saved.
We know that we're followingJesus.
But sometimes our life doesn'tlook like it and it doesn't feel
like it.
And we ask, where is the joy?
Where's the power?
Where is the intimacy?
Where is the sanctification?
Like I don't feel like I'mreally a Christian.
(04:55):
Have you ever thought thatbefore?
Or is my life just this biglie?
Am I actually following Jesus?
Where's the freedom?
Where's the growth?
Where's the passion?
Where is the abundant love thatwe're supposed to have for
other people?
I know I have had long seasonswhere I have felt empty and
devoid of all of these goodthings that God says that He
(05:16):
gives to us.
And He tells us over and overagain that His yoke is easy and
His burden is light.
But I don't always feel likethings I'm carrying are light
and easy.
So, how do we make sense ofwhat we see in our life and what
we read in the scripture andwhat we know to be true?
I want to dig into the book of1 John because there's 1 John is
(05:39):
an amazing book.
If you haven't read it or youhadn't read it lately, I would
suggest over the next couple ofdays, it's just a couple of
chapters.
It's a really easy read.
Now, the man who wrote this isJohn, the one that laid his his
head on the breast of Jesus atthe Last Supper.
This is the bill, John theBeloved.
So this is a man that walkedwith Jesus, that was one of his
(06:03):
intimate friends, that saw himtransfigured on the mountain.
This is who this man is.
I think if we're gonna taketruth from any other source
besides Jesus himself, this manis somebody that we would want
to listen to because he wasintimately acquainted with the
heart of Christ.
I can't even imagine.
All right, so the book of 1John, we're just gonna read the
(06:25):
first three verses.
It says, We proclaim to you theone who existed from the
beginning, whom we have heardand seen.
We saw him with our own eyesand touched him with our own
hands.
He is the word of life.
This one, who is life itself,was revealed to us, and we have
(06:48):
seen him.
And now we testify and proclaimto you that he is the one who
is eternal life.
He was with the Father, andthen he was revealed to us.
We proclaim to you that weourselves have actually seen and
heard so that you may havefellowship with us, and our
fellowship is with the Fatherand with His Son Jesus Christ.
(07:11):
We are writing these things sothat you may fully share in our
joy.
So that is how he starts outhis gospel, his little baby
gospel.
The evidence of truth that heis laying out.
He's telling everyone, I'm aneyewitness.
I actually touched Jesus, Iwalked with him, I saw him when
(07:34):
the mobs came against him, I sawhim ministering when he was
exhausted, I saw himtransfigured, I touched him, I
saw him.
So it's like he's pleading withthis in the beginning of this
book.
Listen, I've been with Jesus,listen to what I have to tell
you.
And I think that that takes meaback when I think about the
reality of that.
(07:55):
Because if you want to know,like if I didn't know Krista and
I met her, who do you think Icould talk to that would
actually be able to tell me whoshe is?
Jamie, right?
Her children, her best friends,her mom.
These are the people thatreally, really know us.
And this was that person forJesus, for the Son of God.
This was his close tightperson.
(08:16):
Now, we actually, he tells usin the beginning of this book
why he's written this letter.
It says in verse 3 that you mayhave fellowship with us, and
truly our fellowship is with theFather and His Son Jesus.
So he's saying, the reason I'mwriting you this letter is so
you can have deep, intimatecommunion with us, with Jesus,
(08:38):
with the Father, and with theSon.
That's the purpose of writingthis letter.
And the beautiful thing aboutthat is he just said that he was
an eyewitness, and all of hisfriends at this time are being
scattered and persecuted.
And he's still standing infirmness, talking about talking
about this truth, talking aboutthis God of light, and wanting
(09:00):
to invite other people into thatfellowship.
Now, the word he usesfellowship, the Greek word is
koinania, which is a prettycommon Christian word that we
like to use for things.
Koinonia means like-mindedness,a partnership or a sharing, a
communion and a deepconnectedness.
So that is John's the reason.
He wants us to have a deepconnectedness with Jesus, with
(09:24):
the Holy Spirit.
I can't think of anything thatI want more than that, truly,
because I know I desperatelyneed it.
I cannot continue to walk inthis life without a deep
connectedness to God.
And he tells us that thisfellowship is essential.
He mentions it first.
It's essential for having thisconnectedness with God, but also
(09:46):
with other people.
With fellow this fellowshipthat we share with one another
is so, so important.
Because when we're with otherpeople, it's difficult, right?
It's not easy when we have ourspouses and our brothers and our
sisters and our children andour friends.
We rub up against each other.
People say things that botheryou, they look at you a certain
way.
We have all of these timeswhere we just brush up against
(10:09):
each other, but that fellowshipis so necessary to make us more
like Jesus.
So John is calling us into thatfellowship, not only with Jesus
who gives us salvation, butwith everybody else that has
fallen and trying to figure itout just like us.
And that is not easy, myfriends.
Walking in fellowship,like-mindedness with other
believers is difficult, butwe're called to it.
(10:31):
John tells us his second motivefor writing in verse 4.
He says, These things we writeto you that your joy may be
full.
Now, this kind of relates towhat I talked about at the
beginning.
I don't always feel like my joyis full.
I don't know about you, butsometimes I feel really, really
(10:52):
sad or angry or discouraged ordistracted.
But John is saying that our joycan be full.
Now, the joy that he's talkingabout is rooted in truth.
It is immovable, it isunshakable, and it is impossible
to take away from or add to.
It is unchanging.
(11:14):
That's what he says about joy.
And this joy that he's talkingabout can fill you up to the
top.
Think of when you're filling upa picture and then the water
runs over the top.
That's the picture of the joythat he's saying that we should
have.
It's that overflowing cup.
The Greek word actually means acheerfulness, a calm delight.
(11:35):
I love that.
A calm delight, gladness orexceeding joy.
This is the same word that'sused in Galatians for the fruit
of the Spirit, joy.
This is the same word that Lukeused when he described the joy
at the birth of Christ, a joythat was bubbling and
overflowing.
This is the word that Matthewused in his gospel when he
(11:57):
talked about the disciples'hearts when they discovered that
the tomb was empty and therewasn't a body there anymore.
This is the same word, joy, anoverflowing, calm gladness that
cannot be held down bycircumstance.
This is the same word that Johnused in his gospel to describe
the state of a woman after shegives birth to a child, the joy
(12:20):
that she feels that is pouredout in your heart.
That is something that Goddoes.
So this joy that John iswanting us to fellowship with
him in, it is deep, it isintense, but it relies on truth.
It relies on life and love toflourish.
It is not based on ourcircumstance, it is not based on
(12:41):
our ideas of what we think ourlife needs to look like.
This is why the Apostle Johnwrites the letter to the
believers.
He was inspired by this joy andhe wanted to share it with
others.
And the truth is that this joythat fills us up is for each of
us to walk in in real life.
(13:01):
It's not just a pretty picturethat we put on a shelf.
It's something that isrealistic, that we can actually
function in in our day-to-daylife.
And I think that we're all herebecause we're seeking that
truth and the joy that comesalong with it.
The joy of Christ.
We're seeking it, we're lookingfor it.
That's why we're sitting here.
Because we know that we need toget away from things to come
(13:25):
under the Lordship of JesusChrist once again and be
reminded what is important andbe reminded who we are.
Be reminded who He is.
This is why we're sitting inthis room.
It is an unshakable truth andit roots us deeply to our
purpose.
We're here because we needJesus.
(13:46):
We don't just desire him, weneed him.
Like I need my next breath.
We need him.
And I forget that.
I don't know about you guys,but I forget how much I need him
because I just wake up and goabout my day and I brush my
teeth and I get dressed and Iget my kids to school and I go
to work and I do life.
And I forget how much I needhim.
But as we're reading throughthis beautiful little book, we
(14:11):
will see that our happiness doesnot come from our
circumstances.
Our true joy, it doesn't comefrom what's happening around us.
It doesn't come from the factthat our rates went up this year
and we don't know what'shappening with our kids and all
the things, like lay outeverything that's in your heart
and your mind that you broughthere today.
Happiness comes and goes, butthat joy is not found in those
(14:32):
circumstances.
And if you are somebody that isled around by your
circumstances, you will bemiserable.
And if you're wondering why amI not seeing the fruit of the
spirit in my life, it's becauseyou are letting the waves toss
you around, which we all do.
I am not throwing any shadebecause I have been there time
and time again.
We get thrown around by ourcircumstances, by our hearts, by
(14:53):
the messy things we walkthrough, and we forget who our
joy is.
We forget who the truth is, andwe need to be reminded of this.
And I am so thankful that theApostle John, who rested his
head on the chest of Jesus,wrote this book for us to
understand this in a deep way.
(15:13):
Now you might think, wow,that's a lot of words that you
just said about the beginning ofthis book.
It is, it's true.
But it's really, reallyimportant for you to believe
what he's going to say bysetting out all those things.
Because this book is not, isthis book is a heavy hitter.
This book throws things aroundwhere you read it and you're
(15:33):
like, what?
So this is why I'm remindingyou of who you are, who you are
in Christ and what the Biblesays about you.
All right.
First John, we're gonna move oninto verse five.
It says, This is the messagethat we heard from Jesus and now
declare to you.
(15:54):
God is light, and in him is nodarkness at all.
That is a very simplestatement, but there is power,
and that simple statement.
There is no yin and yang, thereis no little spot of darkness
in God.
God is completely pure, he isnot compromised in truth ever.
(16:18):
Regardless of what Satan doesor what we do or what the world
does, his truth is notcompromised.
He is light.
He does not lack in love, henever fails at loving you, even
when you screw up.
He loves people that don't evenlove him and gave his life for
them.
He is pure light.
(16:39):
He is not a God who breakspromises because he is pure
light.
He cannot lie.
These things should give ushope because then when we read
what he says, we know all thesethings are true.
There can be no harboring offalsehood in God.
He never hides.
He doesn't have envy, hedoesn't have to strive.
(17:00):
There's no pride and no vanityin our God, no selfish ambition,
because he is light.
The only reason that we haveany light in this earth is
because God spoke it into being.
Any little picture of light,like I said with Krista's
introduction, any little shimmerof light has come from God.
Everything that is good andtrue finds its source in him.
(17:25):
And nothing corrupt can touchhis perfection.
Nothing can destroy that.
Now that gives me a lot of hopebecause if you look around the
world, it is discouraging.
What is happening in ourcountry, what is happening in
other countries, the wars, thefamines, the persecution, it is
very easy to think, God, how areyou still in charge of all
this?
(17:45):
But he is light.
He's not changed bycircumstance, he is above it, he
knows it.
Not only does he know it, buthe still rules it all.
He's still in charge.
There is no fence sitting withthis kind of light.
And this is the truth that thebook of John, first John, brings
us to.
(18:05):
There is no fence sitting.
You cannot be the yin and theyang and think I'm just gonna
sit in the middle and I kind ofbelieve in Jesus, but I don't
want to give him my life.
You can't do that with thiskind of a God.
You're either in or you're out.
He says, Jesus says, you'reeither for me or you're against
me.
And that is the kind of truththat the book of 1 John brings
to us.
And it is a hard truth and ahard reality to face, but I
(18:28):
would be doing you a disserviceif I did not bring you face to
face with that truth.
There is no part-timesunbathing in the light of the
King of Kings, and then seekingthe shadow's embrace to make you
feel better and comfort yourheart.
How often do we do that?
Where we love Jesus, we'refilled with his light, but then
(18:49):
we really need some comfort, andso we seek it in the shadow.
We seek it in the world, weseek it in things that are not
found in who he is, and weexpect it to fill it up, fill us
up, and really it's poisoningour soul, but we think it's
giving us life.
That's what we do, ladies.
Because we set our hope and ourmind on things that just don't
fill us up because they're notthe light.
(19:10):
They're not, they can'tcompare.
Help me watch the time becauseI'm not good at watching the
time.
First John 1, 6.
So the next verse down.
Oh no.
Oh, we did.
God is light and there's nodarkness.
Yes, we're up to six.
(19:31):
So if we say that we havefellowship with him and walk in
darkness, we lie and we do notpractice the truth.
Now, you remember when I saidthis is a hard-hitting book?
This is one of those truthswhere you read and you're like,
What?
So when we think aboutdarkness, it's the opposite of
(19:52):
light, right?
Out here last night it wasdark.
It's not dark.
I live in Hamilton, like in themiddle of Hamilton.
So even when it's dark, it'snot dark.
Here it's dark.
You walk outside and you'relike, you really can't see
anything.
And I know that there's nothingout here that's gonna eat me.
There's no bears, like there'smaybe a possum.
But still, when I walk outside,I'm like, I'm fine, I'm safe,
(20:12):
but it just like it kind ofgrows on you, right?
The darkness, and you feel likeit's like swallowing you.
At least I do, but maybe I'mlike my my mind just like goes.
But you walk out and stand inthe middle of a field and feel
that darkness that is all aroundyou.
That is the absolute oppositeof light and what light does,
but yet that's what we seek sooften.
We want the darkness to coverus.
(20:35):
We want to be hidden.
We don't want people to see ourflaws.
We don't want to see our ownflaws.
You know, sometimes you turnthat light on in the morning and
you look at your face andyou're like, oh my gosh, I ate a
lot of salt last night becauseyou're like, you can't see your
eyes, and you're like all puffyand just a mess.
You're like, I don't want thelight, like turn it off.
I did not need to know thatthat's what I look like today.
(20:55):
And we don't want the lightbecause it shows all of our
imperfections.
It shows the imperfections ofothers, it shows the
imperfections of our world.
So the light can be terrifying.
We can think that it'sterrifying and run away and want
to hide in that gar darknessand feel like it's gonna wrap us
up and just keep us safe.
But really, like you flick onthe light and you think of the
(21:15):
things you do in the darksometimes, like as a little kid,
right?
Like you get under yourblanket, you pull your knees up,
like you're you're like allhuddled up together.
If you turn the light on, youjust feel ridiculous, right?
Because you're like, I wasn'tthat scared.
Like I was fine, you know.
Everything was okay.
I wasn't holding my flashlightlike this, but you turn the
light on, and it doesn't evenmake sense what you were just
(21:36):
doing.
And nothing has changed exceptyou've turned the light on.
And I feel like I see myself inthat a lot.
I think that I'm doing myself afavor by hiding these little
things that are in my heart, orhiding them from other people,
or not really talking to thatperson that's hurt me, or
whatever it is, fill in the sinsthat you run to.
(21:56):
And we feel like we're safe inthem.
And then when the light getsflicked on, you're like, wow, I
look ridiculous.
Because God's like, I am thesource of joy.
Like, come to me.
I want to fill you.
Let me do my work in you.
And you're like, no, it's okay.
It's too hard.
I'm too scared.
That person is scary.
I don't want to talk to them.
I don't want to face that, Idon't want to deal with it.
I do not want to forgive,whatever it is.
(22:17):
We feel safe in the darkness.
But that's not where God has usto live.
And then we wonder, why aren'twe living the abundant life?
Lord, why am I not walking inabundance?
Where's my where's my peace?
Where's my hope?
Where's my joy?
Where's my love?
And he's like, really?
You're curled up in a ball,like with the flashlight under a
blanket.
You need to let me turn thelight on.
(22:39):
Because it says here in 1 John,we're lying.
If we say that we havefellowship with God, but we keep
living in spiritual darkness,it says that it we're a liar.
Because you know the truth, butyou're not actually living it.
And we all do that.
We're all Pharisees.
We all know the good to do, butwe don't do it.
And this is Paul's strugglethat he talks about in the book
(23:00):
of Romans, right?
He knows all the good things todo, but he keeps failing at it.
And he eventually says, Oh,wretched man that I am, who will
save me from this body ofdeath?
That's where Paul ends.
But then he goes on to say, butGod.
And that, my friends, is theturning point of our lives.
You can hide in the darknessunder the blanket with a
flashlight, or you can let himturn on the light, which is
(23:22):
scary.
It takes surrender.
You have to be surrendered toChrist if you are going to let
him turn the light on, becausedarkness is the opposite of
light.
So when you find yourselfembracing darkness, remind
yourself this is the opposite ofJesus.
This is the opposite of who heis and what he's created.
(23:43):
The crazy thing is, this bookof 1 John, in 1 John 5, 13, it
says, These things I've writtento you who believe in the name
of the Son of God.
So John is telling them, I'mwriting this book to believers,
people who have already claimedJesus as their Messiah, have
confessed, and are walking inhim.
(24:04):
That's who this book is to.
And it's still telling us thatwe lie if we walk in the
darkness.
So this is a really interestingthing to start thinking about
and digging into.
How could John be writing toChristians and saying that we
can still walk in darkness?
I think that we have to kind ofdivide it into two sections.
Because I think the problemthat we have is we often rob the
(24:30):
cross of its power by choosingto walk in darkness.
And that's something that wedo.
That's our choice.
Because theologically, I knowthat 1 Peter 1.19 tells me that
Jesus was a spotless sacrifice.
He was perfection, that hefulfilled all the requirements
of the law for me.
I know that theologically.
(24:51):
So the theological part is thatwe're pure, just like Christ is
pure.
1 Peter 2, 9 tells us, but youare a chosen generation, a royal
priesthood, a holy nation, hisown special people, that you may
(25:14):
proclaim the praises of him whocalled you out of darkness and
into his marvelous light.
God calls you perfect and pure,even when you don't feel like
it.
That is your stance.
You are seated with God in theheavenlies.
That is who God says you are.
But can you still throw thatblanket over your head and hide
in the darkness?
Absolutely.
(25:35):
And I think that's where ourminds kind of struggle.
It's like, well, I'm a child ofGod, but your choices don't
line up with the choices thatyou've made.
Your salvation is telling youone thing and is kind of
dragging you the other.
1 Peter 2.11 says, Behold, Ibeg you, as sojourners and
(25:56):
pilgrims, abstain from fleshlylusts which war against your
soul.
So again, these people arecoming to you.
These amazing men of faith arecoming to you saying, You have
believed in Jesus, but you stillhave to make a choice to walk
the way he tells you to walk.
You still have to make a choiceto forgive.
You still have to make a choiceto do what's right over and
(26:20):
over again.
Romans 6.11, it says, Countyourselves dead to sin, but
alive to God in Christ Jesus.
The word tells us over and overand over again that we have to
count ourselves dead.
We have to continue to chooselife.
We have to continue to walk inthe light.
(26:41):
Or 1 John says that we'reliars.
Now that may seem an impossibletask.
It does seem an impossibletask, right?
You're like, well, I'm gonnascrew up again and again, and so
what do I do?
You know, and it could veryeasily like sink you into the
pit of despair, thinking, I'mnot enough.
I can't do this on my own, andI'm just gonna fail.
I guess I am a liar, you know?
(27:02):
Or you can go the other way andbe like, I'm not really that
big of a sinner.
Like, I do pretty good.
I go to church on Sundays, Iserve, I even tithe, I help
people with stuff, I'm nice.
I'm okay.
I'm not walking in any kind ofdarkness.
That just shows how far you arefrom the light.
(27:22):
Because I have been on bothsides of that, of those parties,
rocked it out on both sides,and realized how bad they both
are.
Because when I thought that Iwas holy and righteous, God just
came and peeked under myblanket and was like, You really
want to shine a light oneverything?
I was like, What do you mean,Lord?
And I will tell you, part oflike what I was saying, and that
(27:43):
I have been really, reallybroken lately, I read this book
called Um Calvary Road by RoyHeshin.
It's amazing.
But he essentially just talksabout how we have to live our
lives in light of the gospelevery day.
And that sounds like a goodChristian tagline, right?
Like I've heard that before,but God just made it so real to
me.
(28:03):
Like, are you living with meevery moment, every day?
Like in your conversations, areyou confessing to me?
Uh, not really.
When you lose your temper withyour kid, are you confessing
that to me?
When you lots of things, right?
Like, and since I've beengetting into this habit of the
Lord showing me all the sin thatI have, I'm I've been
(28:24):
overwhelmed.
I'm like, man, God, like Ican't, those thoughts that just
come into your head, you know,or that the things that you
think about, like, uh, mm-mm.
You know, these little thingsthat kind of come up and we
don't think about them, that'sall sin.
That's all darkness, and thatall needs to be brought to
Jesus, to the foot of the cross.
That is what he's saying.
(28:45):
It's written for believersbecause believers need it.
We need to understand what thismeans for us.
So moving on, 1 John chapter 1,verse 7.
It says, But if we walk in thelight, as he is in the light, we
have fellowship with oneanother, and the blood of Jesus
(29:08):
Christ, his son, cleanses usfrom all sin.
If we say that we have no sin,we deceive ourselves, and the
truth is not in us.
That again, he's talking tobelievers here, he's not talking
to the world.
If we confess our sins, he isfaithful and just to forgive us
our sins and cleanse us from allunrighteousness.
(29:30):
Now tell me that verse is notthe one that you think of when
you want to share the gospelwith somebody.
I know that's the verse that Ithink of a lot of times.
If we confess our sins, he'sfaithful and just to forgive us
our sins and to cleanse us fromall unrighteousness.
That's salvation talk.
Right?
That's what you need to knowwhen you come to Jesus before
you have any understanding ofwho he is.
(29:51):
You need to know you're asinner, he's perfect light, and
you need to bow down to that andrealize, Lord, I got nothing on
you.
I need you to come in and fixme.
You need to confess that tohim.
That's what we need to do whenwe come to salvation.
This book is written forbelievers.
Do you read this as a believerand feel like it still applies
to you?
Because I kind of sometimesfeel like I did that.
(30:12):
Check.
That box is ticked in my book.
And God's like, is it?
That is the beauty of thisbook, is that this man who wrote
this at the end of his life,after walking with Jesus for a
long, long time, he still comesback to the basics.
And he's writing salvationverses about confession and
(30:35):
about humbleness and about sin.
Because he's realizing afreshhow sinful he is.
Even though he's been seatedwith God in the heavenly places
and his salvation is secure,even though all of those things
are true, he realizes how easyit is to walk in darkness, how
easy it is to pull the blanketover his head.
(30:55):
And afresh he's saying, we needto confess our sins.
Not once, not every now andthen.
We need to be about confessingour sins.
Because he's faithful and justto forgive us and to cleanse us,
but not if we hold on.
And we love to hold those sinsto our chest, and we don't want
to give them up to anybody foranything.
(31:17):
That is why you are feelingstuck.
That is why you're feelinglonely and like Christianity
makes no sense.
That's why you feel like theBible is a lie sometimes.
That's why.
Because you're trying to do theGod thing your own way, and
you're not doing it the way thatHe tells us to do it.
(31:38):
Now, that way takes a lot ofhumility, takes a lot of honesty
with yourself, with otherpeople.
It's hard.
That is not easy to do.
I don't want somebody to shinethe light on me first thing in
the morning.
But God's like, let me see itall.
I love you.
I know it anyway.
Bring it before me andsurrender.
Stop fighting me and surrender.
(32:01):
Give it to me.
Give me control.
Give me your hearts.
Give me your sins.
Give me your struggles.
Give me your fear.
He knows your fear.
We've all got them.
We don't have enough money.
What if I never get married?
What if my kids walk away fromJesus?
What if, what if, what if?
What if the world goes intowar?
What we can freak ourselves outwith a thousand things, but God
(32:25):
knows every single fear and Hewants us to bring it to Him.
I know that we need, I need, Ineed to be confessing my sins.
I this is something I have beenheavily practicing lately.
Where honestly, anytime thatanything comes into my head
where I feel like I'm comparingmyself with somebody else, I'm
like, oh Lord, I'm sorry.
(32:46):
I give that to you.
Like she's beautiful andlovely, and you call her your
daughter, and like, how dare I?
And then I'll walk in truth.
And it's that simple.
I think we get really, reallycaught up in the process of it.
But if you can, if you can praythis prayer today, ladies, and
say, God, okay, I want to dothat.
I want you to show me all thestuff that's kicking around in
(33:09):
my heart that I don't I that Iwant to ignore.
I want you to show me all thethings that I don't even see
about myself that I've neverthought was wrong before.
I want you to show me theunforgiveness and the
bitterness.
I want you to show me all of myfears, my striving, my
self-will.
I want you to show me my pride.
Lord, show it to me.
(33:30):
And you know what?
He'll do it.
And it's really, really hard.
It's really, really hard atfirst.
But the more you walk in it,the more freeing it is.
Because you realize that thatsin that maybe you've held to
your chest for years does notdefine you.
It is not who you are.
That sin that you're stuck inthat you feel like you can't
(33:52):
shake off is not who you are.
God says that you are beloved,that he adores you as a
daughter, as a bride, that youare pure and clean.
That is what he says about you.
I think a lot of times we don'twant to bring our sin into the
light because we feel like itmakes us look bad.
You're like, well, I don't wantthem to know that I'm prideful.
I don't want them to know I'mjealous.
(34:12):
Like, I don't want them to knowthat I'm angry or lustful.
I don't want them to know.
God knows.
And he knows that that's thesin, but that's not who you are.
That's not who you're createdto be.
So cast that thing off, man.
Stop making it a part of youridentity.
It's not who he calls you tobe.
But I think fear holds us backa lot of times because we're
afraid.
What if we give God everythingand we give him full access and
(34:35):
we really give him the keys andsay, all right, open the doors,
shine the light.
We're terrified of what that'sgoing to look like because he
might make you give this thingup.
He might make you actuallyapologize to the person that
you've never apologized to.
He might make you do a wholelot of things.
But that's what it's like towalk in abundance.
That's where the abundant lifeis.
(34:55):
It is in full surrender.
But I think day to day weforget that we're not
surrendered.
We think we are because we gaveour lives to Jesus and we're
like walking along, feeling likewe're good and fine.
And God's like, are you reallysurrendered?
When's the last time yousubmitted all your thoughts to
me?
That's scary.
But this is what he is callingus to do.
(35:17):
And I think that is why Johnputs it the way he does.
If we confess our sins, he isfaithful and just to forgive us
our sins and to cleanse us fromall unrighteousness, because
that's his job.
That's the part that he does,is he comes in and he cleans us
out.
He takes all of those sins, allof the mess, all of the stuff
that you've been strugglingwith, and he's like, I got this.
(35:38):
You keep looking at me, youkeep surrendering, and I got
this.
I'm gonna take care of all thisjunk for you.
And it's a process and it's noteasy, and it doesn't just go
away.
But that's what our God does.
And that is what he'sencouraging us to do in this
book to be in a constant stateof brokenness, which is not
(36:00):
easy.
But I know I would much ratherbe broken before God than try
and fit my life together andwalk like I've got it all
together when I'm like walkingin lies, and then feeling like
you're a fraud and feeling likethe Bible's not real, and
feeling like God's not real, andHe doesn't even, He doesn't
even do what He says anyway.
What is this whole Christianthing about, anyway?
(36:21):
It's because we haven'tsurrendered.
Not really.
Maybe we surrendered once atthe cross, but we don't
surrender daily and we hold onto stuff, and God's like, just
give it to me.
I want it, I want to cleanseyou, and I want you to walk in
the light.
So I know that that's a bigpunch for a first session.
But like I said, I think Iwould be doing a disservice if I
(36:46):
didn't just lay these truthsout because I think this is one
of the main things that holds usback in our lives, that makes
us feel stuck, that makes usfeel lonely and rejected and
fraudulent.
You know, the imposter syndromethat everybody likes to talk
about now.
But it's real.
We feel like we're not we'renot even living our life.
(37:08):
And I think this is why,because we have areas of our
hearts that are unsurrendered.
And this is what God hasbrought to me this week and is
bringing to you.
So I'm gonna end it there forthis session.
Sorry.
Um, I would love to pray forall of us as we just kind of
move into morning tea orsomething.
(37:29):
She's gonna do some Chris someannouncements.
Okay, I'm gonna pray firstthough.
Lord, we thank you so much foryour word, for the fact that we
can open up this letter thatyou've sent to us and it answers
our questions, Lord, and itclarifies things and it brings
(37:50):
light into our darkness.
God, you are light, and in youis supposed to be fullness of
joy.
So, Lord, I pray that if we'renot feeling that, if we're not
walking in that truth, if we'renot surrendered, Lord, you would
help us to get there.
And maybe it's not aninstantaneous thing that happens
in this moment, Lord, but Itrust that you are working on
(38:12):
each of us in this room.
So, Lord, I pray that your HolySpirit would bring conviction,
but would also we would be ableto recognize the condemnation
that Satan wants to throw in ourface to keep us away from you.
And Lord, we we just ask foryour presence to fill this place
up, that you would give usdirection, that it would be
divine, that it would be yours.
And we love you, Jesus.
(38:33):
We give you the rest of thisday, the rest of the sessions.
We just pray that you'dcontinue to be with us in our
conversation, in our thoughts,in our notes, that you would
just hold on to the littlenuggets of truth that you give
us, Lord, and just breathe onthem, give them life, bring them
to fruition, God, that youwould bring fruit and life.
And we love you so much, Jesus.
(38:54):
Amen.
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