November 12, 2024 • 30 mins
Have you ever felt paralyzed by self-doubt, wondering if you are ever truly enough?
In this conversation, Krystal Jae discusses the pervasive issue of self-doubt and its impact on personal growth and mental health. She shares her own experiences with self-doubt, loneliness, and the journey towards self-discovery and empowerment. Through trauma-informed coaching, she emphasizes the importance of taking actionable steps to overcome self-doubt, build confidence, and establish a supportive environment for personal development. The conversation highlights the significance of understanding the cycle of self-doubt and the necessity of taking small, deliberate actions to foster self-worth and clarity in one's life.
Join me, Krystal Jae, The Empowerment Goddess, as we journey through the landscapes of fear, judgment, and self-criticism that often hold us back. I share my personal experiences and proven strategies that have empowered many, including myself, to break the chains of self-doubt and embrace a life brimming with clarity and purpose. This episode is your invitation to step out of the shadows and into your light, finding not just momentary relief but sustainable strength.
Explore the roots of self-doubt with me as we unravel how it infiltrates our mental and physical well-being. We'll dissect the thoughts that fuel this cycle—fear of failure, fear of judgment, and feelings of inadequacy—and learn how the brain’s fight, flight, or freeze response can sometimes be a barrier to our progress. By acknowledging and validating our emotions, we begin to rewire our minds, replacing hesitation with action. You’ll discover actionable steps to break free from these negative patterns and cultivate a mindset of empowerment and growth.
This episode is a call to vulnerability and self-trust, encouraging you to release excuses and build relationships filled with joy and purpose. Through my "Who Am I" program, we’ll embark on a transformative journey designed to help you discover your true self and life's purpose.
“You are not alone, and you are enough. When times get tough, pray, listen and follow through. God loves you and trust me when I say he is not your trauma.” ~Krystal Jae
“Believe in all that you are and know that you have this inner power that is greater than any obstacle.” ~Krystal Jae
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I doubted myself for years, and you know what I got
from it More self-doubt, innerloneliness and the inability to
succeed.
It was easier to say, well,people don't believe in me, so I
shouldn't do it, I shouldn'tmove forward.
It was easier to say if I wasworthy enough, I wouldn't have
(00:26):
gone through abuse, if I wasactually loved and supported, it
would make it easy.
And now it's hard, because Iwould also be making time for
(00:49):
myself and the things that Iwanted to do and accomplish and
the person I wanted to becomehave all my time, or at least a
lot of my time, which then wouldmake them leave me.
So instead I suffered insilence, not taking action,
(01:12):
because that was the easierthing to do not take action and
it would ensure that I would notbe left alone in my already
lonely world.
Now are you caught in a cycle ofself-doubt, constantly
questioning your worth andfeeling guilty for wanting more
(01:37):
for yourself.
Imagine breaking free fromthese burdens and stepping into
a life where your value isundeniable and your purpose is
clear.
This is your chance totransform your life with the
guidance of an expert,trauma-informed coach.
You want to know why you shouldact now, because there's
(02:02):
personal coaching sessions, youcan discover your potential in a
supportive space where you canprioritize yourself without
guilt.
Now I, crystal J, will help youuncover and overcome self-doubt
and people-pleasing behaviors,while establishing what you want
(02:27):
in your future, helping you getthe skills and the tools that
you need for your tool chest.
Then there's the comprehensivesix-month who Am I program that
goes on a deeper dive into ajourney of healing, with
trauma-informed care and somatictechniques and many others.
(02:51):
But you get to learn to loveyourself, set boundaries and
find your purpose, moving fromstress and self-doubt to
strength and joy.
The time is now.
Why wait to give yourself thegift of grace and healing?
This is your moment to saygoodbye to overwhelm and hello
(03:12):
to clarity and self-love.
Embrace the extraordinary lifethat you deserve because you do
deserve it when each day is astep towards your best self.
You wake up being proud of whoyou are.
So don't delay.
(03:34):
Sign up today and begin yourjourney to empowerment.
Empowerment to healing, todiscovering who you are, to
making the changes in your life,to breaking toxic circles, to
breaking that generationaltrauma all of that so that way
(04:05):
you can get to the success andthe fulfillment that you've been
waiting for.
There's also exclusive bonusesin that six months program.
Your transformation it startshere, so are you ready to take
your first step?
Hey, hey, welcome.
To Overcome Suffering in Silence, it's time for you to stop
(04:25):
people pleasing and create yourbetter life.
I am Crystal J, the EmpowermentGoddess and your Somatic,
trauma-informed Life Coach.
This season has already startedin a way I couldn't even
imagine.
Now, are you ready for somerealness, raw healing and a
glimpse into what it feels liketo walk in peace, clarity and
(04:46):
purpose, while truly knowing whoyou are?
If your answer is yes, thenyou've come to the right place.
For the past two decades, I'vebeen blessed to share my journey
with countless women and a fewmen, empowering them to overcome
the lingering shadows ofphysical, emotional.
Empowering them to overcome thelingering shadows of physical,
emotional, psychological andsexual abuse.
(05:06):
Together, we confront thelimitations that hold us back,
like self-doubt, guilt, fear,shame and that pervasive sense
of unworthiness.
Dig deep to uncover the root ofthese feelings.
Break free from the inner painof suffering and silence, find
faith, grow in that faith andembrace the life that is meant
(05:28):
for you.
Enjoy the real stories andpractical advice, life-enhancing
skills and spiritual wisdom toguide you from pain to purpose,
self-doubt to confidence andconfusion to clarity.
So let's leave the struggle busbehind and embark on this
journey to discover the freedom,beauty and strength that lies
(05:51):
within you.
Remember you are not alone andyou are enough.
When times get tough, pray,listen and follow through,
because God loves you, and trustme when I say he is not your
trauma.
Welcome to Overcome Suffering inSilence with Crystal J.
(06:12):
You are wondering if you areenough.
You are constantly saying overand over and over in your head
can I do this?
Will this really go well?
Is this for me?
What if I fail?
(06:34):
What will other people thinkabout me?
So continue to live, andself-doubt will not bring you
the peace, the clarity or thelove that you seek.
Because in the back of your headsometimes it may be
unconsciously you are dreadingthe people around you.
(06:57):
You are blaming them andeveryone else for you not having
the success or the life thatyou want.
You are looking at otherpeople's lives in resentment.
You're wishing it could beyours.
(07:18):
You're like dang, like theymade that easy.
See, if only I had that support.
If only I had that kind of love.
But do you really know what'sgoing on?
Can they be wearing a mask likeyou are right now.
You see, self-doubt will drainyou.
It will become sadness, leadingto depression.
(07:41):
You will hide your inner pain.
Have you hidden your inner pain?
Are you hiding it now?
It leaves room.
Self-doubt leaves room for theoutbursts.
Have you had an angry outburst?
Or maybe one that was afrustration outburst?
(08:01):
Or you may be someone who shutsdown, or maybe a mixture.
You will walk around acting likeeverything is fine, and a lot
of times you sincerely believeit is Only until you are sitting
(08:23):
alone and all the negativesbegin running in your head over
and over and over again.
You can't go back to school,you can't use that degree that
you earned, you can't have abetter job.
You can't have thatconversation with your spouse,
(08:47):
you can't go for that raise.
You can't start that business.
You can't begin that non-profit.
You don't have resources.
You are a failure.
You have never been good enoughand you never will sit down and
appreciate the life that youhave.
Keep circling that toxicrelationship with self-doubt,
(09:12):
because those are the thingsthat it runs in your mind and it
tells you to stay miserable.
You know self-doubt will keepyou up at night.
You know self-doubt will keepyou up at night.
It will cause further stress onyour body, in your mind, in
your soul.
(09:32):
You will gain weight due toovereating.
You will lose weight becauseyou're not eating enough.
You will start losing your hairbecause you're stressing.
You will have this toxic cycleof tearing yourself down and
(09:53):
sometimes tearing other peopledown, and when you are not
getting fed positivity orfeeding yourself positivity, it
is a path to a mental breakdownthat you may be covering by
people pleasing, drinking,smoking, doing a lot of
(10:16):
activities to keep your mind andyourself busy, but these are
really steps that are not goingto help you propel your life
forward, so you remain stuck,suffering with doubt and
(10:40):
suffering in silence.
The great thing is that youdon't have to suffer with
self-doubt, being the leader inyour life.
Overcome self-doubt.
You are going to gainconfidence in yourself because
(11:14):
you're tired of living with thenegative habit of self-doubt,
self-doubt.
And you can minimize self-doubtby understanding why your brain
is hesitating on taking action,because you know the number one
(11:35):
goal for our brain is to keepus alive.
You know that right.
You know that the good oldsympathetic nervous system with
the fight, flight, freezeresponse right, is to protect us
, but sometimes those alarms andbells goes off when we're
actually safe.
(11:55):
Right, because sometimes, dueto the experiences that we have
been through, so we have to taketime to retrain or rewire our
brain, our mind.
Okay, let them know that itdoesn't need to hesitate, that
(12:16):
it's safe to take action.
You are no longer going tofocus on the wait.
What can go wrong?
To the point that you never doanything positive, that you
never take any action?
Okay, when your brain hesitates, you start overthinking.
(12:39):
It stops you from taking actionwhen you need to.
Then, because you didn't takeaction, you doubt your ability
to even take action, whichcauses you not to be successful
with whatever you wanted to do.
So then you develop self-doubt,which leads to more
(13:04):
overthinking the next timesomething comes up.
The next time something comes up, it's a negative spin cycle
feeling like a failure andwondering about what everyone
else is going to be thinking.
Are they judging you?
And, to be honest, in reality,some people aren't.
(13:24):
They're not even thinking aboutit.
Right, about it?
Right, they may not besupporting you, but they are not
even thinking about oh, is shegoing to be a failure?
Or why is she doing that?
Sometimes they're just livingtheir own lives, you see, and
self-doubt, it keeps you going.
(13:46):
It keeps this toxic cycle goinguntil you take positive action.
It's like putting your clothesin the dryer and you're
expecting them to be clean whenyou take them out the dryer, but
you never did put them in thewasher.
(14:06):
Well, it's time for you to washthat self-doubt away Now.
Understand that your emotions,that you're going through when
you have self-doubt, it's normaland they are valid.
Okay, because there's a reasonwhy you're thinking that way.
(14:27):
So that's why we go through andwe do activities and we do
things to retrain and rewireyour mind, your brain and all of
that.
Okay, so we're going to takeaction, okay.
So I want you to think about it.
When you have self-doubt, whatis causing it of doubt?
(14:55):
What is causing it?
Is it hesitation because youare uncertain of the outcome?
Maybe you're busy waiting andoverthinking and not taking
action because everything has tobe perfect.
You can't make one misstep Now.
Let's not do that, okay.
Instead, I want you to takelittle steps.
(15:17):
Think of where you want to beor what you want to complete.
Okay, now I hope that you haveyour pen and pencils out, so
you're taking notes, because Ireally want you to take action.
That's what this whole thing isabout for you to take action,
(15:40):
okay, Now, so repeat that foryou.
What we're going to start with.
Okay, we're going to start withlittle steps.
Okay, think of where you wantto be.
Where do you envision your life?
You can start with what do youwant your life to look like in
the next six months?
(16:01):
Got it?
Or you can do the next year, oryou can do the next year, or
maybe your goal is one that maytake three years or six years.
Okay, whatever it is.
What do you want to do?
What do you want to complete?
Who do you want to be in sixmonths?
(16:24):
What habits you want to breakin six months?
What do you want to gain intoyour life in six months?
What is it?
Okay, now, I want you to createthe steps to get there.
If you know them, if you don'tknow them, this is the perfect
(17:01):
opportunity to go to your email,check it and click on your.
Use your 40% off code forservices that's going on for the
pre-sale, so that way, you canget your 40% off coupon code.
Okay Now, the pre-sale, I'm behonest, is better than the sale.
(17:22):
Okay, now, once you have yoursteps, I want you to take the
first step After the first stepis complete notice, I said when
it's complete.
So don't start step two or stepfive when you ain't completed
step one.
(17:42):
When step one is complete, thenyou start step two.
Once that is complete, you takethe next step and then the next
step and the next step.
But you don't start one stepuntil you complete the step
(18:04):
before it.
Cool, right.
Then boom, you're going to bedone and you're like oh gosh,
like I made it, I did it, andyou're going to celebrate that.
Ok, when you celebrate that,then you're like OK, what's your
next goal or what's the nextthing you're going to tackle?
(18:25):
And then you're going to do thesame thing over again.
Ok, now, while you're completingthese steps, is it going to be
perfect?
Most likely not, but you canpersevere.
You're going to keep going, andwhen an obstacle gets in your
way, I want you to stop.
(18:47):
Analyze it.
And what step do you need totake to conquer that temporary
obstacle?
Okay, it's a temporary obstacle, but better yet, I want you to
be honest with yourself.
(19:09):
Is it a real obstacle?
I want you to be honest withyourself Is it a real obstacle
or is it self-doubt, jumping inthe way, because you know
self-doubt it pops up.
And when it pops up, it mayshow up like hesitation, like we
(19:31):
were talking about above.
It can be obstacles appearingfrom nowhere, right, we just
talked about that.
It could be your attentionmoving to something that is
completely unrelated, akaprocrastinating, right, because
(19:54):
sometimes I procrastinate too.
I know I need to record apodcast episode, but then I'm
like, ooh, I didn't watchChicago Fire last week and I'm
leaving this week, so I need towatch that real quick.
So let me watch that and thenI'll go record the podcast.
No, I'm supposed to be doingthe podcast, but I'm over here,
(20:16):
hesitating, procrastinating andeverything else.
No, you want to take theactions, the steps that will
help you move forward.
Okay, now could it be that maybeyou're hiding in fear, or
you're scared of being hurt, oryou're scared of being a failure
(20:42):
, so you're not taking action.
Right, those are some thingsthat can pop up.
It could be that you're notasking for help or for the
things that you want, whichallows fear of judgment, fear of
acknowledgement take over,which fuels your self-doubt,
(21:14):
doubt.
Your self-doubt could be withyou being critical with yourself
.
You're fighting against yourown wants, you're complaining to
yourself about the things thatyou want or the steps that you
have to take to get there.
You're finding flaws inyourself.
You're finding flaws inyourself.
You're finding flaws in yourplan.
You're finding flaws inwhatever you want to go and
(21:37):
reach.
You're like you know what, Imight as well not even do that,
because then, once I do that,there's going to be something
else and I don't want to do it.
No, let's worry about thatfirst goal, so then that way we
can take the next step.
Okay, it's also about focusingon what's going wrong or what
(21:58):
can go wrong.
You can be putting yourselfdown so much that and allowing
and feeding the doubt to thepoint to where you believe that
you're helpless and that youreally can't do anything.
It can also be because you'renot willing to be vulnerable
(22:22):
with yourself or with others,and I understand that sometimes,
when you've been let down somuch, you let that fear of being
let down stop you from beingavailable or being vulnerable to
other people.
(22:43):
Right, also, because you'rescared of the fear of being
abandoned or spending your lifealone or being lonely, you allow
others to control you becauseyou're like, if they control me,
they're going to stick around,but you keep having excuses on
(23:07):
top of excuses on top of excuses.
At the end of the day, itsometimes anger you, it makes
you sad, it makes you depressed,it makes you feel unworthy, it
makes you feel like you're notloved and all of that plays into
insecurity and it plays intoself-doubt, into insecurity and
(23:36):
it plays into self-doubt.
And that is why, in thisjourney of defeating self-doubt,
you're going to be buildingself-confidence, you're going to
be building self-worth, you'regoing to be building a healthy
support system, healthycommunication and building
self-trust and buildingself-trust.
(23:59):
Now, these are part of yourempowered transformation healing
journey.
Right, it's an endless journeyof healing because life is going
to continue to be life in, butthe point is is that you're
making steps forward to elevateyourself and put tools in your
(24:21):
tool bag to where you havesomething to pull from which
helps you to determine and foryou to go for the life that you
envision.
So it's time for you to bevulnerable with yourself and
(24:50):
identify the excuses that areholding you back.
It's about knowing how todefeat them, like when trusting
in yourself to make decisionsthat will promote your healing
journey.
Because when you are trustingin yourself to make safe
(25:14):
decisions from the inner pain,from the confusion, from not
knowing who you are right.
You are gaining steps.
When you defeat self-doubt,you're giving yourself
(25:39):
confidence.
That way, you can pull thatvision that you have hiding in
the back of your head.
You can pull it to the frontand be like this is what I'm
going for.
You're going to begin to sayyes to yourself.
(26:02):
Okay, now you're going to takeeach of these steps to move
forward on your healing journeywith confidence, with self-worth
, with understanding, with love,with success and with purpose,
(26:28):
because that's what's going tohelp you get to the life that
you want the better,purpose-filled life, where you
see and you have healthy andsuccessful relationships, you
have a partner that you arealigned with, that you trust and
(26:50):
they trust you, that y'all canlean on each other, that y'all
can have those goodconversations and laugh and have
joy.
The friendships, thefriendships that are good and
healthy, where you're eachother's support system.
(27:10):
You're going to have joy.
You're going to look forward towaking up the next day.
You're going to look forward toleaving your house, to going to
work, to going to church, togoing on vacation, to whatever
includes in your purpose-filledlife, because why?
(27:33):
It's your purpose-filled lifeFor you to have joy, for you to
have faith, while being gratefulfor the steps that you took to
elevate your life, took toelevate your life.
(27:58):
Now I want you to take this nextstep and share this episode
with the first female and thefirst male that is on your mind.
Leave a review so I know that Iam providing you with tools for
your tool chest.
Then I want you to make thisultimate decision, this ultimate
(28:21):
step to defeat self-doubt andgo to wwwcrystaljcom.
Forward, slash Black Fridaypre-sale, join that email list,
get your 40% off coupon code sothen, that way, you can choose
(28:42):
between the one-on-one coachingservice or the six month who Am
I program.
Okay, because that code is onlyfor those who are in the email
list and those who are in thegroup.
Okay, and I want you to enjoythose exclusive services that
(29:04):
comes with the six month who amI program, taking you from
self-doubt, inner pain,confusion, wondering who you are
, to confidence, joy and knowingwho you are without a doubt,
with you, knowing what yourpurpose is and having
(29:26):
fulfillment for your best life.
I am Crystal J, the EmpowermentGuidance, the who Am I expert
and your Somatic Trauma InformedCoach.
Tune in later this week for thenext episode and remember you
are not alone and you are enoughwhen times get tough.
(29:50):
Pray, listen and follow through.
God loves you and trust me whenI say he is not your trauma.
I doubted myself for years, and you know what I got
from it More self-doubt, innerloneliness and the inability to
succeed.
It was easier to say, well,people don't believe in me, so I
shouldn't do it, I shouldn'tmove forward.
It was easier to say if I wasworthy enough, I wouldn't have
(00:26):
gone through abuse, if I wasactually loved and supported, it
would make it easy.
And now it's hard, because Iwould also be making time for
(00:49):
myself and the things that Iwanted to do and accomplish and
the person I wanted to becomehave all my time, or at least a
lot of my time, which then wouldmake them leave me.
So instead I suffered insilence, not taking action,
(01:12):
because that was the easierthing to do not take action and
it would ensure that I would notbe left alone in my already
lonely world.
Now are you caught in a cycle ofself-doubt, constantly
questioning your worth andfeeling guilty for wanting more
(01:37):
for yourself.
Imagine breaking free fromthese burdens and stepping into
a life where your value isundeniable and your purpose is
clear.
This is your chance totransform your life with the
guidance of an expert,trauma-informed coach.
You want to know why you shouldact now, because there's
(02:02):
personal coaching sessions, youcan discover your potential in a
supportive space where you canprioritize yourself without
guilt.
Now I, crystal J, will help youuncover and overcome self-doubt
and people-pleasing behaviors,while establishing what you want
(02:27):
in your future, helping you getthe skills and the tools that
you need for your tool chest.
Then there's the comprehensivesix-month who Am I program that
goes on a deeper dive into ajourney of healing, with
trauma-informed care and somatictechniques and many others.
(02:51):
But you get to learn to loveyourself, set boundaries and
find your purpose, moving fromstress and self-doubt to
strength and joy.
The time is now.
Why wait to give yourself thegift of grace and healing?
This is your moment to saygoodbye to overwhelm and hello
(03:12):
to clarity and self-love.
Embrace the extraordinary lifethat you deserve because you do
deserve it when each day is astep towards your best self.
You wake up being proud of whoyou are.
So don't delay.
(03:34):
Sign up today and begin yourjourney to empowerment.
Empowerment to healing, todiscovering who you are, to
making the changes in your life,to breaking toxic circles, to
breaking that generationaltrauma all of that so that way
(04:05):
you can get to the success andthe fulfillment that you've been
waiting for.
There's also exclusive bonusesin that six months program.
Your transformation it startshere, so are you ready to take
your first step?
Hey, hey, welcome.
To Overcome Suffering in Silence, it's time for you to stop
(04:25):
people pleasing and create yourbetter life.
I am Crystal J, the EmpowermentGoddess and your Somatic,
trauma-informed Life Coach.
This season has already startedin a way I couldn't even
imagine.
Now, are you ready for somerealness, raw healing and a
glimpse into what it feels liketo walk in peace, clarity and
(04:46):
purpose, while truly knowing whoyou are?
If your answer is yes, thenyou've come to the right place.
For the past two decades, I'vebeen blessed to share my journey
with countless women and a fewmen, empowering them to overcome
the lingering shadows ofphysical, emotional.
Empowering them to overcome thelingering shadows of physical,
emotional, psychological andsexual abuse.
(05:06):
Together, we confront thelimitations that hold us back,
like self-doubt, guilt, fear,shame and that pervasive sense
of unworthiness.
Dig deep to uncover the root ofthese feelings.
Break free from the inner painof suffering and silence, find
faith, grow in that faith andembrace the life that is meant
(05:28):
for you.
Enjoy the real stories andpractical advice, life-enhancing
skills and spiritual wisdom toguide you from pain to purpose,
self-doubt to confidence andconfusion to clarity.
So let's leave the struggle busbehind and embark on this
journey to discover the freedom,beauty and strength that lies
(05:51):
within you.
Remember you are not alone andyou are enough.
When times get tough, pray,listen and follow through,
because God loves you, and trustme when I say he is not your
trauma.
Welcome to Overcome Suffering inSilence with Crystal J.
(06:12):
You are wondering if you areenough.
You are constantly saying overand over and over in your head
can I do this?
Will this really go well?
Is this for me?
What if I fail?
(06:34):
What will other people thinkabout me?
So continue to live, andself-doubt will not bring you
the peace, the clarity or thelove that you seek.
Because in the back of your headsometimes it may be
unconsciously you are dreadingthe people around you.
(06:57):
You are blaming them andeveryone else for you not having
the success or the life thatyou want.
You are looking at otherpeople's lives in resentment.
You're wishing it could beyours.
(07:18):
You're like dang, like theymade that easy.
See, if only I had that support.
If only I had that kind of love.
But do you really know what'sgoing on?
Can they be wearing a mask likeyou are right now.
You see, self-doubt will drainyou.
It will become sadness, leadingto depression.
(07:41):
You will hide your inner pain.
Have you hidden your inner pain?
Are you hiding it now?
It leaves room.
Self-doubt leaves room for theoutbursts.
Have you had an angry outburst?
Or maybe one that was afrustration outburst?
(08:01):
Or you may be someone who shutsdown, or maybe a mixture.
You will walk around acting likeeverything is fine, and a lot
of times you sincerely believeit is Only until you are sitting
(08:23):
alone and all the negativesbegin running in your head over
and over and over again.
You can't go back to school,you can't use that degree that
you earned, you can't have abetter job.
You can't have thatconversation with your spouse,
(08:47):
you can't go for that raise.
You can't start that business.
You can't begin that non-profit.
You don't have resources.
You are a failure.
You have never been good enoughand you never will sit down and
appreciate the life that youhave.
Keep circling that toxicrelationship with self-doubt,
(09:12):
because those are the thingsthat it runs in your mind and it
tells you to stay miserable.
You know self-doubt will keepyou up at night.
You know self-doubt will keepyou up at night.
It will cause further stress onyour body, in your mind, in
your soul.
(09:32):
You will gain weight due toovereating.
You will lose weight becauseyou're not eating enough.
You will start losing your hairbecause you're stressing.
You will have this toxic cycleof tearing yourself down and
(09:53):
sometimes tearing other peopledown, and when you are not
getting fed positivity orfeeding yourself positivity, it
is a path to a mental breakdownthat you may be covering by
people pleasing, drinking,smoking, doing a lot of
(10:16):
activities to keep your mind andyourself busy, but these are
really steps that are not goingto help you propel your life
forward, so you remain stuck,suffering with doubt and
(10:40):
suffering in silence.
The great thing is that youdon't have to suffer with
self-doubt, being the leader inyour life.
Overcome self-doubt.
You are going to gainconfidence in yourself because
(11:14):
you're tired of living with thenegative habit of self-doubt,
self-doubt.
And you can minimize self-doubtby understanding why your brain
is hesitating on taking action,because you know the number one
(11:35):
goal for our brain is to keepus alive.
You know that right.
You know that the good oldsympathetic nervous system with
the fight, flight, freezeresponse right, is to protect us
, but sometimes those alarms andbells goes off when we're
actually safe.
(11:55):
Right, because sometimes, dueto the experiences that we have
been through, so we have to taketime to retrain or rewire our
brain, our mind.
Okay, let them know that itdoesn't need to hesitate, that
(12:16):
it's safe to take action.
You are no longer going tofocus on the wait.
What can go wrong?
To the point that you never doanything positive, that you
never take any action?
Okay, when your brain hesitates, you start overthinking.
(12:39):
It stops you from taking actionwhen you need to.
Then, because you didn't takeaction, you doubt your ability
to even take action, whichcauses you not to be successful
with whatever you wanted to do.
So then you develop self-doubt,which leads to more
(13:04):
overthinking the next timesomething comes up.
The next time something comes up, it's a negative spin cycle
feeling like a failure andwondering about what everyone
else is going to be thinking.
Are they judging you?
And, to be honest, in reality,some people aren't.
(13:24):
They're not even thinking aboutit.
Right, about it?
Right, they may not besupporting you, but they are not
even thinking about oh, is shegoing to be a failure?
Or why is she doing that?
Sometimes they're just livingtheir own lives, you see, and
self-doubt, it keeps you going.
(13:46):
It keeps this toxic cycle goinguntil you take positive action.
It's like putting your clothesin the dryer and you're
expecting them to be clean whenyou take them out the dryer, but
you never did put them in thewasher.
(14:06):
Well, it's time for you to washthat self-doubt away Now.
Understand that your emotions,that you're going through when
you have self-doubt, it's normaland they are valid.
Okay, because there's a reasonwhy you're thinking that way.
(14:27):
So that's why we go through andwe do activities and we do
things to retrain and rewireyour mind, your brain and all of
that.
Okay, so we're going to takeaction, okay.
So I want you to think about it.
When you have self-doubt, whatis causing it of doubt?
(14:55):
What is causing it?
Is it hesitation because youare uncertain of the outcome?
Maybe you're busy waiting andoverthinking and not taking
action because everything has tobe perfect.
You can't make one misstep Now.
Let's not do that, okay.
Instead, I want you to takelittle steps.
(15:17):
Think of where you want to beor what you want to complete.
Okay, now I hope that you haveyour pen and pencils out, so
you're taking notes, because Ireally want you to take action.
That's what this whole thing isabout for you to take action,
(15:40):
okay, Now, so repeat that foryou.
What we're going to start with.
Okay, we're going to start withlittle steps.
Okay, think of where you wantto be.
Where do you envision your life?
You can start with what do youwant your life to look like in
the next six months?
(16:01):
Got it?
Or you can do the next year, oryou can do the next year, or
maybe your goal is one that maytake three years or six years.
Okay, whatever it is.
What do you want to do?
What do you want to complete?
Who do you want to be in sixmonths?
(16:24):
What habits you want to breakin six months?
What do you want to gain intoyour life in six months?
What is it?
Okay, now, I want you to createthe steps to get there.
If you know them, if you don'tknow them, this is the perfect
(17:01):
opportunity to go to your email,check it and click on your.
Use your 40% off code forservices that's going on for the
pre-sale, so that way, you canget your 40% off coupon code.
Okay Now, the pre-sale, I'm behonest, is better than the sale.
(17:22):
Okay, now, once you have yoursteps, I want you to take the
first step After the first stepis complete notice, I said when
it's complete.
So don't start step two or stepfive when you ain't completed
step one.
(17:42):
When step one is complete, thenyou start step two.
Once that is complete, you takethe next step and then the next
step and the next step.
But you don't start one stepuntil you complete the step
(18:04):
before it.
Cool, right.
Then boom, you're going to bedone and you're like oh gosh,
like I made it, I did it, andyou're going to celebrate that.
Ok, when you celebrate that,then you're like OK, what's your
next goal or what's the nextthing you're going to tackle?
(18:25):
And then you're going to do thesame thing over again.
Ok, now, while you're completingthese steps, is it going to be
perfect?
Most likely not, but you canpersevere.
You're going to keep going, andwhen an obstacle gets in your
way, I want you to stop.
(18:47):
Analyze it.
And what step do you need totake to conquer that temporary
obstacle?
Okay, it's a temporary obstacle, but better yet, I want you to
be honest with yourself.
(19:09):
Is it a real obstacle?
I want you to be honest withyourself Is it a real obstacle
or is it self-doubt, jumping inthe way, because you know
self-doubt it pops up.
And when it pops up, it mayshow up like hesitation, like we
(19:31):
were talking about above.
It can be obstacles appearingfrom nowhere, right, we just
talked about that.
It could be your attentionmoving to something that is
completely unrelated, akaprocrastinating, right, because
(19:54):
sometimes I procrastinate too.
I know I need to record apodcast episode, but then I'm
like, ooh, I didn't watchChicago Fire last week and I'm
leaving this week, so I need towatch that real quick.
So let me watch that and thenI'll go record the podcast.
No, I'm supposed to be doingthe podcast, but I'm over here,
(20:16):
hesitating, procrastinating andeverything else.
No, you want to take theactions, the steps that will
help you move forward.
Okay, now could it be that maybeyou're hiding in fear, or
you're scared of being hurt, oryou're scared of being a failure
(20:42):
, so you're not taking action.
Right, those are some thingsthat can pop up.
It could be that you're notasking for help or for the
things that you want, whichallows fear of judgment, fear of
acknowledgement take over,which fuels your self-doubt,
(21:14):
doubt.
Your self-doubt could be withyou being critical with yourself
.
You're fighting against yourown wants, you're complaining to
yourself about the things thatyou want or the steps that you
have to take to get there.
You're finding flaws inyourself.
You're finding flaws inyourself.
You're finding flaws in yourplan.
You're finding flaws inwhatever you want to go and
(21:37):
reach.
You're like you know what, Imight as well not even do that,
because then, once I do that,there's going to be something
else and I don't want to do it.
No, let's worry about thatfirst goal, so then that way we
can take the next step.
Okay, it's also about focusingon what's going wrong or what
(21:58):
can go wrong.
You can be putting yourselfdown so much that and allowing
and feeding the doubt to thepoint to where you believe that
you're helpless and that youreally can't do anything.
It can also be because you'renot willing to be vulnerable
(22:22):
with yourself or with others,and I understand that sometimes,
when you've been let down somuch, you let that fear of being
let down stop you from beingavailable or being vulnerable to
other people.
(22:43):
Right, also, because you'rescared of the fear of being
abandoned or spending your lifealone or being lonely, you allow
others to control you becauseyou're like, if they control me,
they're going to stick around,but you keep having excuses on
(23:07):
top of excuses on top of excuses.
At the end of the day, itsometimes anger you, it makes
you sad, it makes you depressed,it makes you feel unworthy, it
makes you feel like you're notloved and all of that plays into
insecurity and it plays intoself-doubt, into insecurity and
(23:36):
it plays into self-doubt.
And that is why, in thisjourney of defeating self-doubt,
you're going to be buildingself-confidence, you're going to
be building self-worth, you'regoing to be building a healthy
support system, healthycommunication and building
self-trust and buildingself-trust.
(23:59):
Now, these are part of yourempowered transformation healing
journey.
Right, it's an endless journeyof healing because life is going
to continue to be life in, butthe point is is that you're
making steps forward to elevateyourself and put tools in your
(24:21):
tool bag to where you havesomething to pull from which
helps you to determine and foryou to go for the life that you
envision.
So it's time for you to bevulnerable with yourself and
(24:50):
identify the excuses that areholding you back.
It's about knowing how todefeat them, like when trusting
in yourself to make decisionsthat will promote your healing
journey.
Because when you are trustingin yourself to make safe
(25:14):
decisions from the inner pain,from the confusion, from not
knowing who you are right.
You are gaining steps.
When you defeat self-doubt,you're giving yourself
(25:39):
confidence.
That way, you can pull thatvision that you have hiding in
the back of your head.
You can pull it to the frontand be like this is what I'm
going for.
You're going to begin to sayyes to yourself.
(26:02):
Okay, now you're going to takeeach of these steps to move
forward on your healing journeywith confidence, with self-worth
, with understanding, with love,with success and with purpose,
(26:28):
because that's what's going tohelp you get to the life that
you want the better,purpose-filled life, where you
see and you have healthy andsuccessful relationships, you
have a partner that you arealigned with, that you trust and
(26:50):
they trust you, that y'all canlean on each other, that y'all
can have those goodconversations and laugh and have
joy.
The friendships, thefriendships that are good and
healthy, where you're eachother's support system.
(27:10):
You're going to have joy.
You're going to look forward towaking up the next day.
You're going to look forward toleaving your house, to going to
work, to going to church, togoing on vacation, to whatever
includes in your purpose-filledlife, because why?
(27:33):
It's your purpose-filled lifeFor you to have joy, for you to
have faith, while being gratefulfor the steps that you took to
elevate your life, took toelevate your life.
(27:58):
Now I want you to take this nextstep and share this episode
with the first female and thefirst male that is on your mind.
Leave a review so I know that Iam providing you with tools for
your tool chest.
Then I want you to make thisultimate decision, this ultimate
(28:21):
step to defeat self-doubt andgo to wwwcrystaljcom.
Forward, slash Black Fridaypre-sale, join that email list,
get your 40% off coupon code sothen, that way, you can choose
(28:42):
between the one-on-one coachingservice or the six month who Am
I program.
Okay, because that code is onlyfor those who are in the email
list and those who are in thegroup.
Okay, and I want you to enjoythose exclusive services that
(29:04):
comes with the six month who amI program, taking you from
self-doubt, inner pain,confusion, wondering who you are
, to confidence, joy and knowingwho you are without a doubt,
with you, knowing what yourpurpose is and having
(29:26):
fulfillment for your best life.
I am Crystal J, the EmpowermentGuidance, the who Am I expert
and your Somatic Trauma InformedCoach.
Tune in later this week for thenext episode and remember you
are not alone and you are enoughwhen times get tough.
(29:50):
Pray, listen and follow through.
God loves you and trust me whenI say he is not your trauma.
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