February 26, 2025 • 31 mins
Are you feeling stuck in life, like you’re trapped in a never-ending storm?
In this episode, we dive deep into the emotional blocks that keep us spinning in cycles of frustration, fear, and self-doubt. Through the story of Angela, a woman who felt trapped in both her career and relationships, we explore the root causes of stagnation and how they show up in our lives.
From unresolved past trauma to subconscious limiting beliefs, fear of the unknown, and nervous system dysregulation, we uncover the reasons why you might feel paralyzed despite your best efforts to move forward. But here’s the good news: feeling stuck doesn’t mean you’re broken—it means there’s an opportunity to heal and grow.
We’ll walk you through practical steps to break free from these emotional barriers, including:
- Identifying and acknowledging what’s holding you back.
- Understanding how trauma impacts your nervous system and how to regulate it.
- Rewiring your mindset to shift from limitation to possibility.
- Taking empowered action with small, manageable steps.
This episode is packed with insights, somatic practices, and actionable strategies to help you release the chains of fear and self-doubt, so you can step into the life you’ve always dreamed of.
Plus, we’ll introduce you to Module 1 of the Breakthrough to Authenticity Program: Overcoming Barriers & Their Effects on Your Mind & Body. Join us as we guide you through somatic practices and neuroscience-backed tools to release emotional blocks, regulate your nervous system, and unlock your true potential.
Free Training Module 1 Sneak Peak - Overcome Barriers
Enroll in the 6 month All-Inclusive Breakthrough to Authenticity Program
www.krystaljae.com/breakthrough
Use Code: Empower3500
“You are not alone, and you are enough. When times get tough, pray, listen and follow through. God loves you and trust me when I say he is not your trauma.” ~Krystal Jae
“Believe in all that you are and know that you have this inner power that is greater than any obstacle.” ~Krystal Jae
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Krystal Jae (00:03):
are you feeling stuck in life?
I know I've been therepersonally and my client, angela
.
She felt like she was trappedin a never-ending storm.
She was overwhelmed and unsureof her next step and, no matter
how hard she tried, it felt likeshe was always hitting an
invisible wall.
(00:24):
For years, angela dreamed ofchanging her place of employment
for something more fulfilling,a step she knew would bring her
closer to the life she wanted.
Now that she had this, thatopportunity to step into a
career that she really loved,right in front of her, she had
fear and doubt wrapped aroundher like chains, holding her
(00:45):
back, voice in her headwhispering.
Her relationships mirrored thesame pattern.
Angela longed for deeperconnections, yet she found
herself stuck in a toxic cyclewith her partner and other
relationships, and she wasunable to break free.
(01:06):
She wanted more love, more joy,more fulfillment.
Instead, she felt like she wasjust spinning in the same
tornado, unable to escape.
No matter how hard she tried tobust through the cycle or
through the storm, she wouldjust get sucked right back in.
And Angela would go all in,determined to change her life,
(01:27):
making progress until suddenlyit all slipped away.
Have you been there?
Have you felt like you wasmaking progress in your life and
then, all of a sudden, it justwas like dang.
Like what happened toeverything?
I thought I was moving forward,but now here I am.
I'm 10 steps behind where Ieven started.
Have you been there?
Every time Angela thought thatshe was moving forward, she
(01:49):
found herself right back whereshe started.
It was as if she was trapped inthe eye of a storm, making
mistaking the frantic motion forprogress when in reality she
was just spinning in circles.
When she finally realized that,no matter what she was doing,
she wasn't really moving forward.
(02:10):
She was just keeping herselfbusy, stuck really in the same
emotional and physical stormthat she has always been in, and
she was getting tired and,honestly, she was almost at the
point of giving up on life beingbetter for her.
But she didn't want to let goof what she knew that she could
(02:33):
do.
She knew that she could have abetter life and she knew it had
to be possible.
But she wondered how can shemake it possible when she's
tried everything that she knew?
But what she learned workingwith me is that she wasn't stuck
because she wasn't trying hardenough.
She was actually stuck because,deep down, something was
(02:55):
keeping her from breaking free,and she's not alone in this
feeling of just feeling stuckand not knowing why you can't
move forward.
We felt stuck and wanting andfeeling the need for change, but
held back by fear, self-doubt.
So today we're going to talkabout why we feel this way and,
(03:18):
more importantly, how we canbreak free from the emotional
blocks that keep us trapped.
So welcome to episode 46, whydo I feel stuck and how can I
break free from my emotionalblocks?
If you know someone who hasexperienced something like
(03:43):
Angela, who feels stuck and theykeep trying to move forward but
for some reason they keep goingbackwards or they're not moving
in that forward progress thatthey see and they're just really
trying their best, we all knowat least one person, I ask you,
I dare you, to share thisepisode with them right now.
(04:06):
Let's help them, let's givethem the tools and help equip
them in their journey of movingforward, of answering the
question of how they can movepast being stuck, how they can
get past the emotional barriersthat are limiting them.
It's time for those walls tocome down.
(04:26):
So go ahead right now, sharethis episode with that one
person or with that group chatof friends.
Let's do it.
As you know I am Krystal Jae,the who Am I expert, the
empowerment goddess and yourcertified somatic
(04:48):
trauma-informed coach, who knowshow it feels to wonder who am I
?
Am I good enough?
Is this what life really isabout?
Dealing with the suffering andsilence, wondering who can I go
to or who will understand me,feeling like I'm having to
(05:11):
people please, and keepeverybody else happy but
silently suffering.
Welcome to the who Am I podcastwith me, , because this podcast
is for you.
It's great reminders for me,and so I encourage you to
(05:35):
embrace this journey ofempowered transformational
healing.
And if you want to go deeper,to www.
krystaljae.
com/sneakpeek and get your freeaccess to module one of the
program of the Breakthrough toAuthenticity program put in the
(06:10):
changes to for lastingtransformation, for you to gain
the tools and the skills and theknowledge to have lasting, true
transformation.
This is for you.
So what are some of the rootcauses of feeling stuck?
One is unresolved past issuesand emotional blocks, traumas,
barriers, past experiences thatwe've been through that have
(06:31):
been difficult.
Does this relate to you?
No matter how much I try tomove forward, I feel like
something deep inside me isholding me back.
I don't even know what it is,but it feels like I'm carrying a
weight that I can't put down orI keep attracting the same kind
of toxic relationships.
I don't know why and I don'tunderstand it.
(06:53):
It feels like I'm stuck in acycle, repeating the same
painful patterns, or maybe it'sthis one.
I know I should set boundaries,but when I try I feel guilty,
like I'm doing something wrongand I'll end up all alone.
Who wants to end up that way?
(07:13):
You see, these emotional blockscan show up in your
relationships, your career oreven in how you see yourself,
keeping you stuck in patternsyou desperately want to break
free from.
You don't want to continue tolive to where you're suffering
in silence, or to where you'restuck and that you can't move
(07:34):
past the life that you've beenliving for the last 5, 10, 15
years.
You know and see the visionthat there's something better,
but you're like dang, how can Iget to that?
Is it even possible?
Because why?
You constantly have that voicewhispering to you, asking you am
(07:56):
I good enough?
You see, failure of a fear offailure, success or even the
unknown may will limit you aswell, and those things might
sound like what if I go afterthis new opportunity and fail?
I don't want to embarrassmyself or waste my time, or it
(08:20):
may sound like I've been stuckin this job for years, but at
least I know what to expect.
What if I leave and it'ssomething worse on the other
side?
Or how about this?
Every time I start to seeprogress, I self-sabotage.
It's like I don't trust myselfto handle success.
(08:41):
I've been there, especiallywith that last one, but it
wasn't that I could.
I didn't think I could handlesuccess.
It's what if it brings in thepeople who aren't in my life on
a regular basis?
But now it's bringing all theseother people in because of
success and not because of realrelationships.
(09:04):
That's hard for someone whoused to experience a fear of
abandonment, a fear of failure,a fear of not having real
relationships or not beingappreciated for who you are.
And so you know, even though wehave to know, trust and believe
(09:24):
in ourselves to know that I cando this and I'm equipped with
skills and tools to help methrough right.
Because at the end of the day,that's what they're for.
They're to help us to continueto move on, even when we feel
like we can, or even when westart doubting ourselves, we
(09:45):
have tools to pull out to wherewe can kind of gain that clarity
and that believe in ourselves.
So, you know, I just took thatmoment to be vulnerable, because
I lived in this place for along time, fearful of failure
and success.
The unknown frightened me,partly because I needed to know
(10:09):
the reaction to my actions, butI also needed to know that I was
doing something that was safe.
But, at the end of the day,what it did was it halted my
growth, it halted my businessand it halted my life for way
too long, way too long.
And even now, when it tries tocreep in, I'd be like and I
(10:34):
don't allow it like it once did,because at one point in time it
took over my life, and I knowthat fears can feel paralyzing
and it can keep you in a cycleof hesitation and preventing you
from taking leaps, and thatcould potentially change your
life.
And that is why I'm here towalk with you, teach you skills,
(10:57):
help you gain tools for yourtool bag.
So fear can no longer take overyour life.
Because fear can't take over mylife.
Now are you experiencinglimiting beliefs?
You might say well, what isthat?
What does that look like?
Let me share that with you.
So you may be saying I'vealways been told that I have to
(11:18):
work twice as hard to be worthyof success, or something like
people like me don't get to livea life of freedom and joy.
It's just not realistic.
Or if I stop taking care ofeveryone else and put myself
first, I'll be selfish.
And if I don't do it, then whowill?
(11:38):
Or here's another one, and Iknow that a lot of people say
these I'm not good enough, Idon't deserve this, I can't do
it.
You see, these thoughts mightfeel like truths, but they're
actually limiting beliefs that,over time, you've picked up,
(12:01):
maybe from past experiences,things people have told you, or
even being out in society.
These subconscious beliefs canquietly take control over your
actions, keeping you from thelife that you truly want.
So now we're going to how ournervous system can also help
keep us stuck.
(12:22):
Then what can we do about it?
Being stuck can cause you tolive in survival mode or in the
mode of honey.
Put my big girl panties on iswhat I used to say to myself.
I'm in this whole survival mode, trying to take care of
everything and some things thatyou might say when you're going
(12:43):
through this one, I can't everfully relax.
Even when things are good, Ifeel on edge, waiting for
something to go wrong.
Have you ever felt like, dang,life is going good, okay, what's
about to happen?
Or everything in myrelationship is good, okay,
what's going to happen?
We're no longer living in thatspace.
(13:05):
It may also look like when Iget overwhelmed, I either shut
down completely or going tooverdrive, working myself into
exhaustion.
Is that you?
Then there's another phrase,let's see.
Um, sometimes I don't evenrecognize my own reactions.
(13:28):
I'll snap at everyone orcompletely freeze, and later I
wonder why I reacted that way.
You see, when you're in survivalmode, it feels like you're
always on edge, like your bodyand mind are stuck in overdrive.
Maybe you're constantly anxiousor exhausted or swinging
(13:50):
between your fight, flightfreeze responses.
I want you to know that thisisn't your fault, because it's
really your nervous system, yourbody, trying to protect you,
because that's what our bodydoes it works to keep us safe.
So, but the only thing aboutstaying in survival mode or
(14:14):
staying in your fight flightfreeze is that if you stay in
this state for too long, itmakes it hard to focus, it makes
it hard to connect or even feelsafe in your own skin.
And you see, this is why, in mysix-month all-inclusive
Breakthrough to Authenticityprogram, we start with
(14:37):
overcoming barriers.
We immediately get to it, andwe start with one of the most
important lessons.
It was just overcoming barriersand their effects on the
neurological system.
We work on lastingtransformation.
That is real okay, and so, ofcourse, if you want more
(15:01):
information, go to breakthroughto learn more about that
program.
Now some examples of being stuckright.
We went through some of thethings we might say when we're
feeling stuck, so let's go overa few more because I want you to
(15:22):
really have the understandingor have the clarity of like this
might really relate to meBecause I want you, at the end,
to start implementing some ofthese actions to where it can
help you better your life andhelp you live the life that you
envision for yourself, to helpyou discover who you are, so you
(15:42):
no longer have to ask thequestion of who am I In In your
career.
You may know that you arecapable of more, but you hardly
ever take action.
You might tell yourself I knowI'm meant for something bigger,
but every time I think about it,I get stuck in overthinking and
(16:06):
in the end I do nothing.
Or I've been in this shop foryears and I keep telling myself
I'll leave.
But here I am still stuck,waiting for the time to come,
and honestly, I don't think thatthat's going to happen.
Another one I see people lessqualified than me getting ahead
(16:30):
and I know I could do it too, sowhy do I keep holding myself
back?
You see, you know deep downthat you're capable of so much
more, yet you find yourselfstuck in the same job or role
day after day.
You dream of pursuing somethingbigger, starting a business,
asking for a promotion, doing apivot in your career, right To
(16:54):
something that actually excitesyou, that you have a purpose and
a passion for right, but younever take action.
Instead, you stay where it'ssafe and you're like, uh,
it'll'll happen.
I may be able to do it nextyear, but not this year.
This isn't the right time.
I'll do it next year.
Well.
But instead of you doing nextyear well, when the next year
(17:17):
comes you'll be like, oh, I'lldo it next year, then it's next
year, and the years just keeppassing you by.
You see, this also can be happenin our relationships Like we
continue repeating toxicthoughts and feeling
disconnected, and so that mightsound like I keep attracting the
(17:38):
same kind of partneremotionally unavailable,
inconsistent or just not rightfor me.
Why does this keep happening?
Do you ask yourself that?
Or do you know someone who'sasked themselves that?
Another one?
I want deeper connections, butI always end up feeling like I'm
giving more than I'm getting.
I feel unseen, I feel unheardand I feel unappreciated.
(18:02):
How about that?
Do you feel that?
Has that been you about that?
Do you feel that?
Has that been you?
Or maybe it's this one?
I know this relationship isn'tgood for me, but leaving feels
impossible.
What if I end up alone?
What if this is the best I'llever get?
(18:27):
You see, I know what it's liketo long for deeper, more
meaningful relationships, butyou feel stuck and you're afraid
to let go of what's familiarand unsure, of how to break free
from the cycle that you're in.
And this cycle isn't just arelationship cycle with work
(18:50):
news, because, as I shared withy'all before a lot of times,
when I say relationship, it'sdeeper than your spouse or your
boyfriend or whoever yourpartner is, but it's also about
your family, your friends, yourassociates, co-workers and
everything else your friends,your associates, co-workers and
everything else.
(19:11):
And you see, even infriendships or in other family
dynamics, right, you might feeldisconnected, like something is
missing, but you don't know howto fix it.
So what that may look like isthat you're wanting change, but
in the process you'reself-sabotaging.
And so what that might soundlike is that you're wanting
change, but in the processyou're self-sabotaging.
And so what that might soundlike is I'll start strong,
(19:34):
whether it's a new habit, a goalor even therapy, and then, all
of a sudden, I lose motivationand I slip right back into old
patterns.
Is that you?
Have you started changing your,your habits, started trying to
implement new things into yourlife, only for you to just lose
the momentum and go back toeverything that you used to do.
(19:58):
Is that you?
Is that a friend?
Is that a sister, a brother,brother, an aunt, an uncle, a
cousin?
Who is that that you know?
Is it you?
Or, if it's none of those,maybe it's this one?
(20:23):
I invest in courses, books andworkshops, but when it comes to
actually applying what I learn,I freeze or make excuses Okay,
if not that one, how about thisone?
Every time I start to seeprogress, I get scared and find
(20:46):
a way to mess it up.
It's like I'm afraid ofactually becoming the person
that I want to be.
You see, maybe it'sprocrastination, giving in to
fear, or convincing yourselfthat you're just not ready.
You're stuck in a cycle ofwanting more for yourself but
(21:08):
never quite following through,leaving you frustrated and
disappointed.
You don't have to feel that way.
You don't have to live in thisplace of stuckness and emotional
blocks keeping you from movingforward.
Now that you understand why youmay be getting stuck, let's talk
about how to break free fromthese emotional barriers, you
(21:33):
know.
So I have several steps for you.
Okay, are you ready?
Do you have your pen?
Do you have a paper?
Have you shared this with yourone person or your group chat?
Have you downloaded this forlater?
Are you ready?
(21:53):
Step one is awareness andacknowledgement.
It means identifying what'skeeping you stuck.
You can do that with journalprompts.
You can do that with reflection.
If you need journal prompts orsomething to help you do some
self-reflection, just pop me amessage on one of the socials,
(22:18):
pop me an email at services atcrystaljcom.
I will happily give you thelink to the self-reflection
journal, to where you can reallystart digging deeper into that.
But let me know what you need Igot you.
When you take time toacknowledge, acknowledge and
(22:39):
identify what's keeping youstuck, then you're able to
realize different patterns inyour thoughts, emotions and
behaviors that are also keepingyou stuck.
Now step two I want you toregulate your mind and your body
.
It's time to regulate your mindand body because these barriers
(23:01):
that are left behind thedifficult experiences that
you've experienced in your life,they make changes to our
nervous system and then they putus in that fight flight freeze,
okay.
So taking on different somaticpractices will help you release
the stored emotional blocks byusing just simple breath work or
(23:25):
grounding exercises, and soI've shared some of those in
plenty of episodes.
So once you get comfortable,close your eyes, focus on your
breath, and just doing thatalone can help calm you down.
(24:03):
Not even having to take in thatdeep breath, not even having to
hold or release, just reallysitting in a comfortable spot,
focusing on your breath, eyesclosed, thinking about your day,
(24:25):
how you can improve it All thatcan help you kind of relieve,
okay.
All that can help you kind ofrelease, okay.
Then we have step three, whichis rewiring your mindset,
changing the way that ourneuroreceptors fire and what our
subconscious mind alarms, ourconscious mind to right.
(24:48):
And so we begin that byshifting from limitation to
possibility, challenging andreframing our limiting beliefs
and using affirmations,incantations, and basically
using intentional, positive,encouraging, motivational
(25:08):
self-talk.
And then step four this is notan option, okay, you have to
take empowered action.
So that's small, manageablesteps to help you move forward,
setting clear boundaries andhaving self-accountability,
creating an environment thatsupports growth.
(25:30):
And so I just want to tell youthat I am honored to be with you
on this journey and I'm proudof you for even tuning in to
this podcast, because why?
It's full of skills, tools andknowledge that will help you
(25:52):
determine who am I, to help youknow that you are good enough
and that you can accomplish thethings that you put your mind to
, and that you're not alone andfeeling like you're suffering in
silence, that you're beingmisused, you're confused and
you're lost and don't know whatto do.
(26:12):
You don't have to be that.
We have to live that way.
You're not the only one in thisworld.
That's, that's living in thatspace, because I know that a lot
of times you may think that youare, because I know that's how
I felt.
I know that's how a lot of myother clients have felt and
(26:33):
that's why I try so hard to getthe message out, because I want
you to know that you're notalone, even in those times that
it feels like I'm alone and noone understands me, when you
feel like you're not equipped tolive your best life.
We're giving you tools, skillsto implement in your life.
(26:55):
So I encourage you to takeempowered action.
I want you to remember that theempowered transformational
healing journey is lastingtransformation because of the
tools, the empowerment and theguidance that you will be
receiving.
So if you're feeling stuck andyou're ready to take action, I
(27:17):
want you to take empoweredaction and claim your free
access to module one of theBreakthrough to Authenticity
program.
Module one goes into overcomingbarriers and their effects on
your mind and body.
You see, module one is actuallypart of the Breakthrough to
(27:38):
Authenticity program.
You will get access to videolessons, workbook, and then I
share a couple of ways that youcan actually get in touch with
me, because, since this is freeaccess, you don't get the
one-on-one weekly coaching thatyou would get in the program,
but you still get support,because I'm not just going to
leave you hanging.
So module one is all aboutovercoming barriers.
(28:04):
We dive deep into understandingthe effects that limiting
beliefs or these barriers haveon your mind and your body.
Beliefs or these barriers haveon your mind and your body.
We go through some somaticpractices and under and really
get into understanding the neuro, the neurological system.
I help you release the.
(28:25):
I help you release the blocksand move towards a more
authentic self.
So join the two-week free.
Join the two-week free accessmodule one um program.
And you can do that atwwwcrystaljcom.
(28:48):
Forward slash sneak peek.
That'swwwk-r-y-s-t-a-l-j-a-ecom.
Forward slash sneak peek.
Or if you are really ready fora lasting change and you're like
, no, I'm ready to go in, I wantchange.
I want the next six months tobe so much different from the
(29:12):
life that I've been experiencingnow and in the past.
This is my year, so I'm goingto make this lasting change and
I'm going to implement thethings in my life and I'm going
to keep them in my life.
And I've tried over and overand over and over again, but I
(29:33):
will not fail.
This is for me.
If that's you, I want you to goover to www.
krystaljae.
com Forward slash breakthrough.
That is www.
krystaljae.
com Forward, slash breakthroughand join the six-month all-in
(29:58):
exclusive program where you getthe video lessons, you get the
workbook, you get even bonussurprises that you receive
directly from me, some inphysical form and then you will
also receive one-on-one weeklycoaching with me.
(30:20):
Okay, so go and take action,empowered action, and as we end
this episode, I invite you toreflect on what you learned
today.
What was your one takeaway?
How do you feel about settingclear boundaries and choosing
(30:44):
yourself?
Consider if you are living in aconstant state of fight or
flight or not.
So pull out your journal or useyour video or use your voice
note, because it's time for youto take empowered action.
Remember, you have the power tochoose how you feel and how you
(31:07):
respond to challenges.
You can break free, you canunlock your true potential, and
you don't have to do it alone.
It's time for you to answerthat question that you keep
asking yourself who am I?
are you feeling stuck in life?
I know I've been therepersonally and my client, angela
.
She felt like she was trappedin a never-ending storm.
She was overwhelmed and unsureof her next step and, no matter
how hard she tried, it felt likeshe was always hitting an
invisible wall.
(00:24):
For years, angela dreamed ofchanging her place of employment
for something more fulfilling,a step she knew would bring her
closer to the life she wanted.
Now that she had this, thatopportunity to step into a
career that she really loved,right in front of her, she had
fear and doubt wrapped aroundher like chains, holding her
(00:45):
back, voice in her headwhispering.
Her relationships mirrored thesame pattern.
Angela longed for deeperconnections, yet she found
herself stuck in a toxic cyclewith her partner and other
relationships, and she wasunable to break free.
(01:06):
She wanted more love, more joy,more fulfillment.
Instead, she felt like she wasjust spinning in the same
tornado, unable to escape.
No matter how hard she tried tobust through the cycle or
through the storm, she wouldjust get sucked right back in.
And Angela would go all in,determined to change her life,
(01:27):
making progress until suddenlyit all slipped away.
Have you been there?
Have you felt like you wasmaking progress in your life and
then, all of a sudden, it justwas like dang.
Like what happened toeverything?
I thought I was moving forward,but now here I am.
I'm 10 steps behind where Ieven started.
Have you been there?
Every time Angela thought thatshe was moving forward, she
(01:49):
found herself right back whereshe started.
It was as if she was trapped inthe eye of a storm, making
mistaking the frantic motion forprogress when in reality she
was just spinning in circles.
When she finally realized that,no matter what she was doing,
she wasn't really moving forward.
(02:10):
She was just keeping herselfbusy, stuck really in the same
emotional and physical stormthat she has always been in, and
she was getting tired and,honestly, she was almost at the
point of giving up on life beingbetter for her.
But she didn't want to let goof what she knew that she could
(02:33):
do.
She knew that she could have abetter life and she knew it had
to be possible.
But she wondered how can shemake it possible when she's
tried everything that she knew?
But what she learned workingwith me is that she wasn't stuck
because she wasn't trying hardenough.
She was actually stuck because,deep down, something was
(02:55):
keeping her from breaking free,and she's not alone in this
feeling of just feeling stuckand not knowing why you can't
move forward.
We felt stuck and wanting andfeeling the need for change, but
held back by fear, self-doubt.
So today we're going to talkabout why we feel this way and,
(03:18):
more importantly, how we canbreak free from the emotional
blocks that keep us trapped.
So welcome to episode 46, whydo I feel stuck and how can I
break free from my emotionalblocks?
If you know someone who hasexperienced something like
(03:43):
Angela, who feels stuck and theykeep trying to move forward but
for some reason they keep goingbackwards or they're not moving
in that forward progress thatthey see and they're just really
trying their best, we all knowat least one person, I ask you,
I dare you, to share thisepisode with them right now.
(04:06):
Let's help them, let's givethem the tools and help equip
them in their journey of movingforward, of answering the
question of how they can movepast being stuck, how they can
get past the emotional barriersthat are limiting them.
It's time for those walls tocome down.
(04:26):
So go ahead right now, sharethis episode with that one
person or with that group chatof friends.
Let's do it.
As you know I am Krystal Jae,the who Am I expert, the
empowerment goddess and yourcertified somatic
(04:48):
trauma-informed coach, who knowshow it feels to wonder who am I
?
Am I good enough?
Is this what life really isabout?
Dealing with the suffering andsilence, wondering who can I go
to or who will understand me,feeling like I'm having to
(05:11):
people please, and keepeverybody else happy but
silently suffering.
Welcome to the who Am I podcastwith me, , because this podcast
is for you.
It's great reminders for me,and so I encourage you to
(05:35):
embrace this journey ofempowered transformational
healing.
And if you want to go deeper,to www.
krystaljae.
com/sneakpeek and get your freeaccess to module one of the
program of the Breakthrough toAuthenticity program put in the
(06:10):
changes to for lastingtransformation, for you to gain
the tools and the skills and theknowledge to have lasting, true
transformation.
This is for you.
So what are some of the rootcauses of feeling stuck?
One is unresolved past issuesand emotional blocks, traumas,
barriers, past experiences thatwe've been through that have
(06:31):
been difficult.
Does this relate to you?
No matter how much I try tomove forward, I feel like
something deep inside me isholding me back.
I don't even know what it is,but it feels like I'm carrying a
weight that I can't put down orI keep attracting the same kind
of toxic relationships.
I don't know why and I don'tunderstand it.
(06:53):
It feels like I'm stuck in acycle, repeating the same
painful patterns, or maybe it'sthis one.
I know I should set boundaries,but when I try I feel guilty,
like I'm doing something wrongand I'll end up all alone.
Who wants to end up that way?
(07:13):
You see, these emotional blockscan show up in your
relationships, your career oreven in how you see yourself,
keeping you stuck in patternsyou desperately want to break
free from.
You don't want to continue tolive to where you're suffering
in silence, or to where you'restuck and that you can't move
(07:34):
past the life that you've beenliving for the last 5, 10, 15
years.
You know and see the visionthat there's something better,
but you're like dang, how can Iget to that?
Is it even possible?
Because why?
You constantly have that voicewhispering to you, asking you am
(07:56):
I good enough?
You see, failure of a fear offailure, success or even the
unknown may will limit you aswell, and those things might
sound like what if I go afterthis new opportunity and fail?
I don't want to embarrassmyself or waste my time, or it
(08:20):
may sound like I've been stuckin this job for years, but at
least I know what to expect.
What if I leave and it'ssomething worse on the other
side?
Or how about this?
Every time I start to seeprogress, I self-sabotage.
It's like I don't trust myselfto handle success.
(08:41):
I've been there, especiallywith that last one, but it
wasn't that I could.
I didn't think I could handlesuccess.
It's what if it brings in thepeople who aren't in my life on
a regular basis?
But now it's bringing all theseother people in because of
success and not because of realrelationships.
(09:04):
That's hard for someone whoused to experience a fear of
abandonment, a fear of failure,a fear of not having real
relationships or not beingappreciated for who you are.
And so you know, even though wehave to know, trust and believe
(09:24):
in ourselves to know that I cando this and I'm equipped with
skills and tools to help methrough right.
Because at the end of the day,that's what they're for.
They're to help us to continueto move on, even when we feel
like we can, or even when westart doubting ourselves, we
(09:45):
have tools to pull out to wherewe can kind of gain that clarity
and that believe in ourselves.
So, you know, I just took thatmoment to be vulnerable, because
I lived in this place for along time, fearful of failure
and success.
The unknown frightened me,partly because I needed to know
(10:09):
the reaction to my actions, butI also needed to know that I was
doing something that was safe.
But, at the end of the day,what it did was it halted my
growth, it halted my businessand it halted my life for way
too long, way too long.
And even now, when it tries tocreep in, I'd be like and I
(10:34):
don't allow it like it once did,because at one point in time it
took over my life, and I knowthat fears can feel paralyzing
and it can keep you in a cycleof hesitation and preventing you
from taking leaps, and thatcould potentially change your
life.
And that is why I'm here towalk with you, teach you skills,
(10:57):
help you gain tools for yourtool bag.
So fear can no longer take overyour life.
Because fear can't take over mylife.
Now are you experiencinglimiting beliefs?
You might say well, what isthat?
What does that look like?
Let me share that with you.
So you may be saying I'vealways been told that I have to
(11:18):
work twice as hard to be worthyof success, or something like
people like me don't get to livea life of freedom and joy.
It's just not realistic.
Or if I stop taking care ofeveryone else and put myself
first, I'll be selfish.
And if I don't do it, then whowill?
(11:38):
Or here's another one, and Iknow that a lot of people say
these I'm not good enough, Idon't deserve this, I can't do
it.
You see, these thoughts mightfeel like truths, but they're
actually limiting beliefs that,over time, you've picked up,
(12:01):
maybe from past experiences,things people have told you, or
even being out in society.
These subconscious beliefs canquietly take control over your
actions, keeping you from thelife that you truly want.
So now we're going to how ournervous system can also help
keep us stuck.
(12:22):
Then what can we do about it?
Being stuck can cause you tolive in survival mode or in the
mode of honey.
Put my big girl panties on iswhat I used to say to myself.
I'm in this whole survival mode, trying to take care of
everything and some things thatyou might say when you're going
(12:43):
through this one, I can't everfully relax.
Even when things are good, Ifeel on edge, waiting for
something to go wrong.
Have you ever felt like, dang,life is going good, okay, what's
about to happen?
Or everything in myrelationship is good, okay,
what's going to happen?
We're no longer living in thatspace.
(13:05):
It may also look like when Iget overwhelmed, I either shut
down completely or going tooverdrive, working myself into
exhaustion.
Is that you?
Then there's another phrase,let's see.
Um, sometimes I don't evenrecognize my own reactions.
(13:28):
I'll snap at everyone orcompletely freeze, and later I
wonder why I reacted that way.
You see, when you're in survivalmode, it feels like you're
always on edge, like your bodyand mind are stuck in overdrive.
Maybe you're constantly anxiousor exhausted or swinging
(13:50):
between your fight, flightfreeze responses.
I want you to know that thisisn't your fault, because it's
really your nervous system, yourbody, trying to protect you,
because that's what our bodydoes it works to keep us safe.
So, but the only thing aboutstaying in survival mode or
(14:14):
staying in your fight flightfreeze is that if you stay in
this state for too long, itmakes it hard to focus, it makes
it hard to connect or even feelsafe in your own skin.
And you see, this is why, in mysix-month all-inclusive
Breakthrough to Authenticityprogram, we start with
(14:37):
overcoming barriers.
We immediately get to it, andwe start with one of the most
important lessons.
It was just overcoming barriersand their effects on the
neurological system.
We work on lastingtransformation.
That is real okay, and so, ofcourse, if you want more
(15:01):
information, go to breakthroughto learn more about that
program.
Now some examples of being stuckright.
We went through some of thethings we might say when we're
feeling stuck, so let's go overa few more because I want you to
(15:22):
really have the understandingor have the clarity of like this
might really relate to meBecause I want you, at the end,
to start implementing some ofthese actions to where it can
help you better your life andhelp you live the life that you
envision for yourself, to helpyou discover who you are, so you
(15:42):
no longer have to ask thequestion of who am I In In your
career.
You may know that you arecapable of more, but you hardly
ever take action.
You might tell yourself I knowI'm meant for something bigger,
but every time I think about it,I get stuck in overthinking and
(16:06):
in the end I do nothing.
Or I've been in this shop foryears and I keep telling myself
I'll leave.
But here I am still stuck,waiting for the time to come,
and honestly, I don't think thatthat's going to happen.
Another one I see people lessqualified than me getting ahead
(16:30):
and I know I could do it too, sowhy do I keep holding myself
back?
You see, you know deep downthat you're capable of so much
more, yet you find yourselfstuck in the same job or role
day after day.
You dream of pursuing somethingbigger, starting a business,
asking for a promotion, doing apivot in your career, right To
(16:54):
something that actually excitesyou, that you have a purpose and
a passion for right, but younever take action.
Instead, you stay where it'ssafe and you're like, uh,
it'll'll happen.
I may be able to do it nextyear, but not this year.
This isn't the right time.
I'll do it next year.
Well.
But instead of you doing nextyear well, when the next year
(17:17):
comes you'll be like, oh, I'lldo it next year, then it's next
year, and the years just keeppassing you by.
You see, this also can be happenin our relationships Like we
continue repeating toxicthoughts and feeling
disconnected, and so that mightsound like I keep attracting the
(17:38):
same kind of partneremotionally unavailable,
inconsistent or just not rightfor me.
Why does this keep happening?
Do you ask yourself that?
Or do you know someone who'sasked themselves that?
Another one?
I want deeper connections, butI always end up feeling like I'm
giving more than I'm getting.
I feel unseen, I feel unheardand I feel unappreciated.
(18:02):
How about that?
Do you feel that?
Has that been you about that?
Do you feel that?
Has that been you?
Or maybe it's this one?
I know this relationship isn'tgood for me, but leaving feels
impossible.
What if I end up alone?
What if this is the best I'llever get?
(18:27):
You see, I know what it's liketo long for deeper, more
meaningful relationships, butyou feel stuck and you're afraid
to let go of what's familiarand unsure, of how to break free
from the cycle that you're in.
And this cycle isn't just arelationship cycle with work
(18:50):
news, because, as I shared withy'all before a lot of times,
when I say relationship, it'sdeeper than your spouse or your
boyfriend or whoever yourpartner is, but it's also about
your family, your friends, yourassociates, co-workers and
everything else your friends,your associates, co-workers and
everything else.
(19:11):
And you see, even infriendships or in other family
dynamics, right, you might feeldisconnected, like something is
missing, but you don't know howto fix it.
So what that may look like isthat you're wanting change, but
in the process you'reself-sabotaging.
And so what that might soundlike is that you're wanting
change, but in the processyou're self-sabotaging.
And so what that might soundlike is I'll start strong,
(19:34):
whether it's a new habit, a goalor even therapy, and then, all
of a sudden, I lose motivationand I slip right back into old
patterns.
Is that you?
Have you started changing your,your habits, started trying to
implement new things into yourlife, only for you to just lose
the momentum and go back toeverything that you used to do.
(19:58):
Is that you?
Is that a friend?
Is that a sister, a brother,brother, an aunt, an uncle, a
cousin?
Who is that that you know?
Is it you?
Or, if it's none of those,maybe it's this one?
(20:23):
I invest in courses, books andworkshops, but when it comes to
actually applying what I learn,I freeze or make excuses Okay,
if not that one, how about thisone?
Every time I start to seeprogress, I get scared and find
(20:46):
a way to mess it up.
It's like I'm afraid ofactually becoming the person
that I want to be.
You see, maybe it'sprocrastination, giving in to
fear, or convincing yourselfthat you're just not ready.
You're stuck in a cycle ofwanting more for yourself but
(21:08):
never quite following through,leaving you frustrated and
disappointed.
You don't have to feel that way.
You don't have to live in thisplace of stuckness and emotional
blocks keeping you from movingforward.
Now that you understand why youmay be getting stuck, let's talk
about how to break free fromthese emotional barriers, you
(21:33):
know.
So I have several steps for you.
Okay, are you ready?
Do you have your pen?
Do you have a paper?
Have you shared this with yourone person or your group chat?
Have you downloaded this forlater?
Are you ready?
(21:53):
Step one is awareness andacknowledgement.
It means identifying what'skeeping you stuck.
You can do that with journalprompts.
You can do that with reflection.
If you need journal prompts orsomething to help you do some
self-reflection, just pop me amessage on one of the socials,
(22:18):
pop me an email at services atcrystaljcom.
I will happily give you thelink to the self-reflection
journal, to where you can reallystart digging deeper into that.
But let me know what you need Igot you.
When you take time toacknowledge, acknowledge and
(22:39):
identify what's keeping youstuck, then you're able to
realize different patterns inyour thoughts, emotions and
behaviors that are also keepingyou stuck.
Now step two I want you toregulate your mind and your body
.
It's time to regulate your mindand body because these barriers
(23:01):
that are left behind thedifficult experiences that
you've experienced in your life,they make changes to our
nervous system and then they putus in that fight flight freeze,
okay.
So taking on different somaticpractices will help you release
the stored emotional blocks byusing just simple breath work or
(23:25):
grounding exercises, and soI've shared some of those in
plenty of episodes.
So once you get comfortable,close your eyes, focus on your
breath, and just doing thatalone can help calm you down.
(24:03):
Not even having to take in thatdeep breath, not even having to
hold or release, just reallysitting in a comfortable spot,
focusing on your breath, eyesclosed, thinking about your day,
(24:25):
how you can improve it All thatcan help you kind of relieve,
okay.
All that can help you kind ofrelease, okay.
Then we have step three, whichis rewiring your mindset,
changing the way that ourneuroreceptors fire and what our
subconscious mind alarms, ourconscious mind to right.
(24:48):
And so we begin that byshifting from limitation to
possibility, challenging andreframing our limiting beliefs
and using affirmations,incantations, and basically
using intentional, positive,encouraging, motivational
(25:08):
self-talk.
And then step four this is notan option, okay, you have to
take empowered action.
So that's small, manageablesteps to help you move forward,
setting clear boundaries andhaving self-accountability,
creating an environment thatsupports growth.
(25:30):
And so I just want to tell youthat I am honored to be with you
on this journey and I'm proudof you for even tuning in to
this podcast, because why?
It's full of skills, tools andknowledge that will help you
(25:52):
determine who am I, to help youknow that you are good enough
and that you can accomplish thethings that you put your mind to
, and that you're not alone andfeeling like you're suffering in
silence, that you're beingmisused, you're confused and
you're lost and don't know whatto do.
(26:12):
You don't have to be that.
We have to live that way.
You're not the only one in thisworld.
That's, that's living in thatspace, because I know that a lot
of times you may think that youare, because I know that's how
I felt.
I know that's how a lot of myother clients have felt and
(26:33):
that's why I try so hard to getthe message out, because I want
you to know that you're notalone, even in those times that
it feels like I'm alone and noone understands me, when you
feel like you're not equipped tolive your best life.
We're giving you tools, skillsto implement in your life.
(26:55):
So I encourage you to takeempowered action.
I want you to remember that theempowered transformational
healing journey is lastingtransformation because of the
tools, the empowerment and theguidance that you will be
receiving.
So if you're feeling stuck andyou're ready to take action, I
(27:17):
want you to take empoweredaction and claim your free
access to module one of theBreakthrough to Authenticity
program.
Module one goes into overcomingbarriers and their effects on
your mind and body.
You see, module one is actuallypart of the Breakthrough to
(27:38):
Authenticity program.
You will get access to videolessons, workbook, and then I
share a couple of ways that youcan actually get in touch with
me, because, since this is freeaccess, you don't get the
one-on-one weekly coaching thatyou would get in the program,
but you still get support,because I'm not just going to
leave you hanging.
So module one is all aboutovercoming barriers.
(28:04):
We dive deep into understandingthe effects that limiting
beliefs or these barriers haveon your mind and your body.
Beliefs or these barriers haveon your mind and your body.
We go through some somaticpractices and under and really
get into understanding the neuro, the neurological system.
I help you release the.
(28:25):
I help you release the blocksand move towards a more
authentic self.
So join the two-week free.
Join the two-week free accessmodule one um program.
And you can do that atwwwcrystaljcom.
(28:48):
Forward slash sneak peek.
That'swwwk-r-y-s-t-a-l-j-a-ecom.
Forward slash sneak peek.
Or if you are really ready fora lasting change and you're like
, no, I'm ready to go in, I wantchange.
I want the next six months tobe so much different from the
(29:12):
life that I've been experiencingnow and in the past.
This is my year, so I'm goingto make this lasting change and
I'm going to implement thethings in my life and I'm going
to keep them in my life.
And I've tried over and overand over and over again, but I
(29:33):
will not fail.
This is for me.
If that's you, I want you to goover to www.
krystaljae.
com Forward slash breakthrough.
That is www.
krystaljae.
com Forward, slash breakthroughand join the six-month all-in
(29:58):
exclusive program where you getthe video lessons, you get the
workbook, you get even bonussurprises that you receive
directly from me, some inphysical form and then you will
also receive one-on-one weeklycoaching with me.
(30:20):
Okay, so go and take action,empowered action, and as we end
this episode, I invite you toreflect on what you learned
today.
What was your one takeaway?
How do you feel about settingclear boundaries and choosing
(30:44):
yourself?
Consider if you are living in aconstant state of fight or
flight or not.
So pull out your journal or useyour video or use your voice
note, because it's time for youto take empowered action.
Remember, you have the power tochoose how you feel and how you
(31:07):
respond to challenges.
You can break free, you canunlock your true potential, and
you don't have to do it alone.
It's time for you to answerthat question that you keep
asking yourself who am I?
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