March 21, 2025 • 28 mins
Self-doubt—that sneaky voice that makes us hesitate just when opportunity knocks. We prepare endlessly but never start. We watch others succeed while we stay stuck. Sound familiar?
The self-doubt cycle keeps us trapped in a pattern of missed opportunities and regret. But what if this isn't who you really are? What if it's just a pattern you've absorbed from past experiences, critical environments, or societal pressure?
Using the powerful ODE method—Overcome, Discover, Elevate—you can break free from self-doubt's grip. First, recognize that self-doubt is learned, not truth. By identifying your specific triggers and examining what you're truly afraid of, you begin to separate yourself from these limiting patterns.
Next, discover evidence of your capabilities by listing your wins (big and small) and reframing your self-talk. Ask yourself what advice you'd give a friend in your position—then apply that wisdom to yourself. Most of us have much more compassion for others than we extend to ourselves.
Finally, elevate through action and rewiring your thoughts. Take one imperfect action today. Replace "I'm not ready" with "I am learning and growing." Surround yourself with people who encourage healthy risk-taking.
The journey isn't about never experiencing doubt again—it's about having the tools to move through it. You don't need permission to go after what you want. You are enough, and you've already given yourself permission.
Ready to transform your relationship with self-doubt?
Take that first imperfect step today.
For additional support,
Free Module 1 of the Breakthrough to Authenticity program at www.krystaljae.com/sneakpeek
Enroll into the full 6- month Breakthrough to Authenticity Program
www.krystaljae.com/breakthrough
“You are not alone, and you are enough. When times get tough, pray, listen and follow through. God loves you and trust me when I say he is not your trauma.” ~Krystal Jae
“Believe in all that you are and know that you have this inner power that is greater than any obstacle.” ~Krystal Jae
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Have you ever had a great opportunity right in front
of you but instead of taking it, you hesitated, second guessed
yourself and let it just slip onby, have you?
Today's focus is going to beabout understanding the
(00:25):
self-doubt cycle, why it keepsyou stuck and how to break free
from it using the ode methodovercome, discover, elevate.
You see, I've seen this withclients, friends and even in my
own life.
Self--doubt it's sneaky.
It's a sneaky little sucker,but it can be overcome.
(00:48):
Okay, now I'm going to get realwith you for a moment, because
see the self-doubt cycle, all ofthe tools that I equip you with
during your time with me, andeven if it's just you learning
tools, whether it's on thispodcast or on my Facebook page
or my LinkedIn page, whereveryou may be following me right,
(01:10):
the most important thing isequipping you with tools.
It's not because these thingswon't ever happen to you in life
and you won't ever have to usethem.
It's about equipping your toolbag to where, when you need them
, you actually are equipped withtools to use to help you
succeed in life, and so I'mgoing to share with you.
(01:32):
I'm going to be real vulnerableright now.
Actually, I was going to shareabout a client that I worked
with.
For years I have been in thecoaching realm.
I was a coach before.
I claimed that I was a coachand part of me becoming a coach
(01:58):
was because of those moments Ihad been coaching but wasn't
doing it as a business oranything like that.
Right, you know, I was justbeing helpful.
Okay, for years I was in thecoaching world and I've been
coaching individuals for, oh mygoodness, a long time.
(02:23):
I really don't want to share myage y'all, but I've been
coaching for a long time andit's just been these last few
years that I've really beenfocused on adding the
trauma-informed awareness aspectto my coaching, because it
takes us all to a whole notherlevel.
That was the ultimate missingpiece for that ultimate true
(02:47):
transformational healing.
Okay, and so I discoveredEmpowered Transformational
Healing, because I truly believeeverything in me that on our
healing journey we needempowerment, and when we have
empowerment, our healing journeyis truly transformational.
(03:13):
Okay, and then we have the ODEmethod overcome, discover,
elevate, Overcome barriers.
Discover your authenticity soyou can unlock your untapped
potential.
Elevate success withfulfillment.
Elevate the purpose in yourlife.
(03:33):
Elevate what you're trying toaccomplish in your life.
Elevate who you are.
You know, of course I showed upevery time, did my vows, shared
lots of tools, discoveredprograms that will take my
clients, take you from reallyfeeling like you are lost,
(03:58):
unwanted, not appreciated, helpyou to stop chronic people
pleasing or being confused inyour career and in your life,
having unfulfillingrelationships, living with the
fear of rejection, lowself-worth, difficulty making
decisions, feeling disconnectedoverall.
(04:20):
And in the back of your mind,you're saying I need to figure
out who I really am.
I want real, meaningfulrelationships.
I can't keep living for others.
Is that you Do?
You say those things and see, Ihelp go from that place, from
(04:42):
that place of pain, to purpose,from confusion to clarity, right
, and so what I'm saying is isthat with this, with coaching, I
noticed a difference in all ofeverybody's lives.
(05:04):
I noticed a difference in allof everybody's lives, in the
majority of my clients' lives,especially those who went
through the full program.
The program is only six monthsbut it takes work because it's
not just surface level.
We bring in neuroscience in it,we bring in somatics, we bring
(05:28):
in law of attraction andmeditation, we bring in trauma,
informed awareness and all ofthis matters because it's truly
life changing, because I haveseen my kids go from not really
being social or not easilymaking friends to now having a
plethora of friends, from mydaughter not really speaking up
(05:52):
for herself to where now she'sgoing to speak up for herself
and she's going to speak up forothers the difference between
being bullied and being able totell the bully.
I'm not the one To being ableto be that mediator in friend
(06:14):
groups.
Work their butts off when itcomes to them focusing on the
things that they want toaccomplish, like right now it's
sports.
So them going out there anddoing their best and knowing,
okay, you know what.
This may not have been a goodgame, but guess what we
accomplished boom, boom, boom,boom, boom.
(06:35):
And yeah, this happened and itsucks and I'm down for the
moment, but let me pick myselfup.
There's nothing like seeing yourchild come to you and encourage
you to keep moving forward, toencourage you to not think less
(06:59):
of yourself because somethingdidn't go right.
But you know how that you learnthat Through modeling, through
seeing it, through being awitness, and so when you become
your best self and you use thetools in your life, you're also
(07:21):
teaching your children.
And then guess what children dowhen children learn things,
what, what children do.
When children learn things,what do they do?
They go and model and they dothem outside of the home, right,
and then other people can catchup on it Again.
It's that ripple effect.
And so, knowing how good that isand how awesome it is right,
(07:43):
knowing how good that is and howawesome it is right, there's
sometimes a little bit of doubtthat comes into my life, and
that doubt that comes in is likeare you sure you're doing the
right thing?
Are you sure you want to keepgoing?
(08:07):
Are you sure you want to expandand not only focus on coaching
individuals, but now you want togo and teach this to
corporations, to the small andmedium-sized businesses, to the
businesses that arepeople-centered and
mission-based?
Are you sure that you want todo that?
Because we said we were doingcoaching and we were going
(08:31):
individuals, but now this wholeother big aspect, are you sure
you want to do that?
Yes, I'm sure that I want to dothat.
Why?
Because we don't always leavehome at home and work at work.
Let's be real.
They cross and so, therefore,we need to be able to have a
(08:56):
good environment, healthyenvironment at work just as much
as we need to have it at home,just like our kids need to have
a healthy.
So of course it makes sense toget into these organizations, to
get into small, medium-sizedbusinesses, to get into churches
(09:20):
, to get into these educationcenters to teach trauma-informed
awareness.
But not just that, but to teachthe ODE method Overcome,
discover, elevate, but of course, that little self-doubt be like
(09:42):
oh you know what.
Instead of taking action,empowered action to get that
booking, I need you to go overhere and I need you to edit this
.
I need you to go answer thisemail.
I need you to go and schedulecontent instead of reaching out
(10:10):
to that business owner.
Instead of reaching out to thatbusiness owner, instead of
reaching out to that school.
And y'all if y'all have anycontext for me to get into the
school, y'all hit your girl up,because I've been trying my best
to get into these schools toteach these trauma-informed
workshops to the teachers, tothe parents, to the students,
(10:35):
all age appropriate and allinformation that they need to
have.
For people who need credithours, I have workshops that
will give them continuingeducation credit hours, but
anyway we're going off somewhere.
Continuing education credithours, but anyway we're going
off somewhere.
(10:56):
But self-doubt comes in.
But I don't allow that tocontinue.
I don't allow me to continue toprocrastinate.
Instead, I start pulling thingsout my tool bag.
Okay, what does that say?
Over there, you're going togrow through what you go through
(11:17):
.
Okay, we're working on afaithful transformation over
there.
God is within her and she willnot fail over here.
How many requests have you sentover there?
How many follow-ups is overthere?
What income producingactivities have you completed?
(11:40):
Today is right there.
Today is a great day.
You are intelligent.
It's time to focus.
Smile is beautiful.
You can do this.
You are worthy of the rewards.
You are loved.
I am freaking in love with you.
Did you pray?
(12:00):
Believe in yourself?
What does that say?
You don't got to be perfect,you just got to show up, be
still and know.
Do I need some faith?
Let me pull a card Hope.
Let me pull a card Comfort.
Let me pull a card Love.
(12:21):
Let me pull a card Rememberwhere I started.
Let me read my book.
Need some activities to do tochange my mind.
Grab the empowerment coloringbook for women.
Let me do a check-in with thepositive affirmations and the
(12:43):
I'm grateful for and somethingI'm proud of, and I want more of
this and less of this and myfavorite moment of the day and
tomorrow I look forward toColoring affirmations, coloring
pages.
Look at this, it's on and onLiving my best life.
(13:22):
Take a moment for meditation,take a moment to be grateful for
what I have.
Take a moment to say, yes, youcan do this.
Go wash dishes and come backand start over dishes and come
back and start over.
Listen to my mind vision map.
I do these things.
(13:47):
The things that I teach myclients, I do myself.
It's not about you will neverhave self-doubt or you will
never have fear or you willnever feel rejected or anything
like that.
It's about having the tools tohelp you through so you can
continue to move forward withtrue transformational healing.
Not move forward in the placeto where you're just taking it
(14:07):
and you're burying it so it candig its way back out for later.
No, because one thing that Iknow is that, oh, I may be like,
oh, that's going to be hard,but you know what.
I know I can do it, I know Ican conquer it and I know it's
mine and it's time for you tohave that.
(14:29):
Don't allow self-doubt tocontinue, chipping away at who
you are, chipping away at thethings that you can do for you.
Okay.
So if you are still saying,what if I fail?
What if I'm not good enough?
This is for you.
(14:50):
And if you know someone who issaying what if I fail, what if
I'm not good enough?
This is for them.
Share this episode with themright now.
Download this episode, send itto them, hit the share button
(15:12):
and put it in your group chat.
Have you done it yet?
Now let's talk about someavoidance behaviors.
When we are experiencingself-doubt, some of the things
that we end up going to do, westart procrastinating.
You remember that I mentionedthat we start procrastinating.
We start focusing on lowpriority tasks instead of taking
(15:34):
action.
We want to take empoweredaction, right.
And then what we also do is,when we're avoiding a situation
because of self-doubt, is thatwe let others take the lead on
projects on our lives and weturn down big opportunities.
Don't turn down your bigopportunity.
(15:56):
We even start over preparingbut never actually start.
Does that sound familiar?
Have you ever said, oh, I wantto do this and you prepare for
it?
You prepare for it, prepare forit, but you ain't never started
.
What about that project youwant to make?
Are you still preparing for it,or did you take action?
Is it done yet?
(16:17):
You are experiencing emotionalexhaustion and regret.
You watch others succeed whileyou yourself stay stuck.
Another one is you feel likeyou are meant for more, but you
are way too scared to act.
(16:39):
Don't be afraid.
It's time for you to act.
The root cause of self-doubt alot of times come from past
experiences, something that youlearned growing up.
You see a family member thatlives in the realm of self-doubt
, or you have someone constantlytelling you that they doubt
(17:02):
that you can do something, oryou see that people don't really
believe in you, so thatinstills self-doubt.
You're growing up in anenvironment.
You grew up in an environmentwhere mistakes were punished and
not embraced.
So you may have been beat for amistake, but you didn't have
(17:23):
the discussion on why themistake was a mistake and what
could you do better next timeright?
Could you do better next timeright?
It comes from societal pressure,so from friends, co-workers and
(17:46):
TV.
It comes from unrealisticexpectations.
So you think that everythinghas to be perfect and aligned
and in order in order forsomething to succeed.
But since it's not perfect, youdon't take action, you play
small, you have a fear of beingtoo much or being extra.
Own it, Own that too much, ownthat extra.
(18:08):
You have a fear of rejection andfailure.
You have this hidden belief ofif I fail, it means that I'm a
failure.
No, if you fail, it means foryou to get up, analyze it and go
again.
Okay.
Then we have subconsciousbeliefs that keep us stuck Like
(18:28):
I'm not ready yet.
So then you stay trapped,waiting, okay, to feel like
you're ready.
Do you think that you're goingto feel like you're ever ready
for something that you'redoubting or that you're fearful
of?
Are you really truly going tobe ready or do you have to just
be brave and take the nextempowered step Again?
(18:56):
Don't let perfectionism blockyou.
Or are you the person that saysI don't deserve success?
You have deep rooted issueswith worthiness.
Let's work on that Now.
(19:22):
Self-doubt shows up in our livesand how we may feel, but it
also hijacks our life and if youdon't get that by just what
I've previously said, it showsup in our lives, in our career.
We start playing small.
We avoid leadership roles.
We miss out on growth.
We stay stagnant.
It's time to grow beautifulRelationships.
(19:44):
On growth, we stay stagnant.
It's time to grow beautifulrelationships.
We keep cycling this toxicrelationship and we know we want
out and we know we can havesomething better.
We know we want to be betterand if you had a partner who
wanted the same thing, thenmaybe you can make it work.
But instead you're settling forless and you're struggling to
set healthy boundaries.
(20:05):
Your personal growth staysstuck.
There is no growth.
You live in your comfort zoneand you avoid challenges at all
costs zone and you avoidchallenges at all costs.
(20:27):
So it's time for you to takeempowered action.
If any of today's episoderesonated with you, it's time
for you to take empowered action.
The empowered action steps thatyou're going to take today,
with the ODE method in play, isyou're going to overcome.
You're going to recognizeself-doubt as learned and not
(20:50):
truth, because self-doubt is notwho you are.
It's a pattern that you'veabsorbed.
It's a pattern that yourneuroreceptors and your
subconscious mind and everythingknows to go off on.
But we're not going to do thatanymore.
No more focusing and living inthe self-doubt world Awareness.
(21:15):
You're going to identify yourself-doubt triggers.
You're going to identify yourself-doubt triggers.
So what I want you to do is,anytime that you find yourself
seeing anything questioningyourself, any type of self-doubt
shows up.
I want you to take note of it.
I personally find that it'seasier to take note of it on my
(21:35):
phone, because usually when ithappens to me, I'm either in the
car, I am in the store, I'msomewhere in the house, like
it's not always where pen andpaper is easy, but it's super
easy to have my phone and hitthe camera button and record
(22:00):
myself, or go to the voice noteand leave myself a voice note
Like this is what I'm thinking.
This is self-doubt and this iswhat I was doing before and
after, and this is the thoughtthat I was thinking about, or
this was the action I was taking.
So that way, you can identifyyour self-doubt triggers.
It's time to be aware.
(22:21):
Okay, and then I want you to doa journal prompt.
This one is going to say whatam I afraid will happen if I
step into my full potential?
What are you afraid of?
And, yes, you can be afraid ofsuccess.
What do you think has happened?
What about success are youafraid of?
(22:41):
Okay, I want you to really trulybreak it down, discover, find
evidence of your capabilities.
So I want you to list your pastwins, whether they're big or
whether they're small.
I bought a house, or I wash thedishes before 10 o'clock.
Like, seriously, big or small,sit there and do it, write it
(23:05):
down.
You know, I checked my mailthis week.
Instead of waiting three weekslike I usually do, I checked it
in just a week.
Like, celebrate any win thatyou have.
I received a bonus, likewhatever it may be, celebrate it
right.
(23:25):
I want you to list your pastwins to prove that you are
capable.
Then I want you to ask yourselfwhat would I tell my friend in
my situation?
So, reframe your self-talk, goto the mirror and ask yourself
if I was my friend, what would Itell myself if they were in
(23:46):
this situation?
Again, you can go to the mirror, you can voice record.
I like to do a lot of recordingso that way I can go back and I
can listen to it, becausethere's a lot of things that you
can learn by just watching yourown body movement and the way
that you communicate, elevate,reprogram, limiting beliefs
(24:07):
through action and self-stress.
So take one imperfect actiontoday.
Progress over perfection.
So identify one step that's anempowered action that's going to
help you move forward.
If you take this step, it's astep forward and I want you to
(24:30):
take at least one today.
Okay, when you take thatempowered action, that imperfect
action, send me a message.
Let me know what that imperfectaction was.
I would love to know, I wouldlove to cheer you on.
And then we're going to rewireself-talk.
(24:53):
Replace I'm not ready with I amlearning and growing.
I'm not ready.
Transforms into I am learningand growing.
I'm not ready.
Transforms into I am learningand growing.
Then I want you to surroundyourself with people who
encourage risk-taking and growth, because, you see, self-doubt
(25:16):
is a learned pattern.
It's not true.
So you can break free, you canovercome.
Self-doubt is a barrier that'sin your way, so you don't need
permission to go after what youwant, because you are enough and
(25:38):
you have already given yourselfpermission.
Now, if this episode spoke toyou, share it with someone who
needs to hear it, share it withyour group chat, share it on
your Facebook page, share it onyour LinkedIn, share it and
leave me a comment or review.
(26:00):
And if you're ready to breakthis cycle for good, to get
equipped with tools, I want youto check out my Breakthrough to
Authenticity program and, for alimited time, you can actually
get free access to module oneovercome barriers.
(26:22):
It helps to recognize thepatterns that are limiting you.
It gives you action steps toactually move forward.
We go into the, theneuroscience aspect of it and
how our barriers affect our body, our mind and our spirit.
(26:43):
So it's time for you to takeaction.
Go, join the full Breakthroughto Authenticity six-month
all-inclusive program where youmeet with me weekly video
lessons.
You have activities to empoweryou, help you move forward, set
you up for a life of success,fulfillment, purpose and clarity
(27:09):
.
And, if you're like, oh well, Ijust want to know a little bit
more.
Join the Breakthrough toAuthenticity, module 1 free
access.
You can go to wwwcrystaljcom.
Forward.
Slash Snoop Peek that'sK-R-Y-S-T-A-L-J-A-E dot com.
(27:34):
Forward, slashS-N-E-A-K-P-E-E-K.
And remember that self-doubtdoes not own you, that today
you're going to take oneimperfect action to move
yourself forward.
(27:55):
This has been.
Who Am I with Crystal Jane,episode 48, when your Mind
Becomes your Own Worst Enemy?
This has been.
Who Am I with Crystal Jack,episode 48.
When your mind becomes your ownworst enemy?
The self-doubt cycle and how tostop holding yourself back.
See you next week.
Have you ever had a great opportunity right in front
of you but instead of taking it, you hesitated, second guessed
yourself and let it just slip onby, have you?
Today's focus is going to beabout understanding the
(00:25):
self-doubt cycle, why it keepsyou stuck and how to break free
from it using the ode methodovercome, discover, elevate.
You see, I've seen this withclients, friends and even in my
own life.
Self--doubt it's sneaky.
It's a sneaky little sucker,but it can be overcome.
(00:48):
Okay, now I'm going to get realwith you for a moment, because
see the self-doubt cycle, all ofthe tools that I equip you with
during your time with me, andeven if it's just you learning
tools, whether it's on thispodcast or on my Facebook page
or my LinkedIn page, whereveryou may be following me right,
(01:10):
the most important thing isequipping you with tools.
It's not because these thingswon't ever happen to you in life
and you won't ever have to usethem.
It's about equipping your toolbag to where, when you need them
, you actually are equipped withtools to use to help you
succeed in life, and so I'mgoing to share with you.
(01:32):
I'm going to be real vulnerableright now.
Actually, I was going to shareabout a client that I worked
with.
For years I have been in thecoaching realm.
I was a coach before.
I claimed that I was a coachand part of me becoming a coach
(01:58):
was because of those moments Ihad been coaching but wasn't
doing it as a business oranything like that.
Right, you know, I was justbeing helpful.
Okay, for years I was in thecoaching world and I've been
coaching individuals for, oh mygoodness, a long time.
(02:23):
I really don't want to share myage y'all, but I've been
coaching for a long time andit's just been these last few
years that I've really beenfocused on adding the
trauma-informed awareness aspectto my coaching, because it
takes us all to a whole notherlevel.
That was the ultimate missingpiece for that ultimate true
(02:47):
transformational healing.
Okay, and so I discoveredEmpowered Transformational
Healing, because I truly believeeverything in me that on our
healing journey we needempowerment, and when we have
empowerment, our healing journeyis truly transformational.
(03:13):
Okay, and then we have the ODEmethod overcome, discover,
elevate, Overcome barriers.
Discover your authenticity soyou can unlock your untapped
potential.
Elevate success withfulfillment.
Elevate the purpose in yourlife.
(03:33):
Elevate what you're trying toaccomplish in your life.
Elevate who you are.
You know, of course I showed upevery time, did my vows, shared
lots of tools, discoveredprograms that will take my
clients, take you from reallyfeeling like you are lost,
(03:58):
unwanted, not appreciated, helpyou to stop chronic people
pleasing or being confused inyour career and in your life,
having unfulfillingrelationships, living with the
fear of rejection, lowself-worth, difficulty making
decisions, feeling disconnectedoverall.
(04:20):
And in the back of your mind,you're saying I need to figure
out who I really am.
I want real, meaningfulrelationships.
I can't keep living for others.
Is that you Do?
You say those things and see, Ihelp go from that place, from
(04:42):
that place of pain, to purpose,from confusion to clarity, right
, and so what I'm saying is isthat with this, with coaching, I
noticed a difference in all ofeverybody's lives.
(05:04):
I noticed a difference in allof everybody's lives, in the
majority of my clients' lives,especially those who went
through the full program.
The program is only six monthsbut it takes work because it's
not just surface level.
We bring in neuroscience in it,we bring in somatics, we bring
(05:28):
in law of attraction andmeditation, we bring in trauma,
informed awareness and all ofthis matters because it's truly
life changing, because I haveseen my kids go from not really
being social or not easilymaking friends to now having a
plethora of friends, from mydaughter not really speaking up
(05:52):
for herself to where now she'sgoing to speak up for herself
and she's going to speak up forothers the difference between
being bullied and being able totell the bully.
I'm not the one To being ableto be that mediator in friend
(06:14):
groups.
Work their butts off when itcomes to them focusing on the
things that they want toaccomplish, like right now it's
sports.
So them going out there anddoing their best and knowing,
okay, you know what.
This may not have been a goodgame, but guess what we
accomplished boom, boom, boom,boom, boom.
(06:35):
And yeah, this happened and itsucks and I'm down for the
moment, but let me pick myselfup.
There's nothing like seeing yourchild come to you and encourage
you to keep moving forward, toencourage you to not think less
(06:59):
of yourself because somethingdidn't go right.
But you know how that you learnthat Through modeling, through
seeing it, through being awitness, and so when you become
your best self and you use thetools in your life, you're also
(07:21):
teaching your children.
And then guess what children dowhen children learn things,
what, what children do.
When children learn things,what do they do?
They go and model and they dothem outside of the home, right,
and then other people can catchup on it Again.
It's that ripple effect.
And so, knowing how good that isand how awesome it is right,
(07:43):
knowing how good that is and howawesome it is right, there's
sometimes a little bit of doubtthat comes into my life, and
that doubt that comes in is likeare you sure you're doing the
right thing?
Are you sure you want to keepgoing?
(08:07):
Are you sure you want to expandand not only focus on coaching
individuals, but now you want togo and teach this to
corporations, to the small andmedium-sized businesses, to the
businesses that arepeople-centered and
mission-based?
Are you sure that you want todo that?
Because we said we were doingcoaching and we were going
(08:31):
individuals, but now this wholeother big aspect, are you sure
you want to do that?
Yes, I'm sure that I want to dothat.
Why?
Because we don't always leavehome at home and work at work.
Let's be real.
They cross and so, therefore,we need to be able to have a
(08:56):
good environment, healthyenvironment at work just as much
as we need to have it at home,just like our kids need to have
a healthy.
So of course it makes sense toget into these organizations, to
get into small, medium-sizedbusinesses, to get into churches
(09:20):
, to get into these educationcenters to teach trauma-informed
awareness.
But not just that, but to teachthe ODE method Overcome,
discover, elevate, but of course, that little self-doubt be like
(09:42):
oh you know what.
Instead of taking action,empowered action to get that
booking, I need you to go overhere and I need you to edit this
.
I need you to go answer thisemail.
I need you to go and schedulecontent instead of reaching out
(10:10):
to that business owner.
Instead of reaching out to thatbusiness owner, instead of
reaching out to that school.
And y'all if y'all have anycontext for me to get into the
school, y'all hit your girl up,because I've been trying my best
to get into these schools toteach these trauma-informed
workshops to the teachers, tothe parents, to the students,
(10:35):
all age appropriate and allinformation that they need to
have.
For people who need credithours, I have workshops that
will give them continuingeducation credit hours, but
anyway we're going off somewhere.
Continuing education credithours, but anyway we're going
off somewhere.
(10:56):
But self-doubt comes in.
But I don't allow that tocontinue.
I don't allow me to continue toprocrastinate.
Instead, I start pulling thingsout my tool bag.
Okay, what does that say?
Over there, you're going togrow through what you go through
(11:17):
.
Okay, we're working on afaithful transformation over
there.
God is within her and she willnot fail over here.
How many requests have you sentover there?
How many follow-ups is overthere?
What income producingactivities have you completed?
(11:40):
Today is right there.
Today is a great day.
You are intelligent.
It's time to focus.
Smile is beautiful.
You can do this.
You are worthy of the rewards.
You are loved.
I am freaking in love with you.
Did you pray?
(12:00):
Believe in yourself?
What does that say?
You don't got to be perfect,you just got to show up, be
still and know.
Do I need some faith?
Let me pull a card Hope.
Let me pull a card Comfort.
Let me pull a card Love.
(12:21):
Let me pull a card Rememberwhere I started.
Let me read my book.
Need some activities to do tochange my mind.
Grab the empowerment coloringbook for women.
Let me do a check-in with thepositive affirmations and the
(12:43):
I'm grateful for and somethingI'm proud of, and I want more of
this and less of this and myfavorite moment of the day and
tomorrow I look forward toColoring affirmations, coloring
pages.
Look at this, it's on and onLiving my best life.
(13:22):
Take a moment for meditation,take a moment to be grateful for
what I have.
Take a moment to say, yes, youcan do this.
Go wash dishes and come backand start over dishes and come
back and start over.
Listen to my mind vision map.
I do these things.
(13:47):
The things that I teach myclients, I do myself.
It's not about you will neverhave self-doubt or you will
never have fear or you willnever feel rejected or anything
like that.
It's about having the tools tohelp you through so you can
continue to move forward withtrue transformational healing.
Not move forward in the placeto where you're just taking it
(14:07):
and you're burying it so it candig its way back out for later.
No, because one thing that Iknow is that, oh, I may be like,
oh, that's going to be hard,but you know what.
I know I can do it, I know Ican conquer it and I know it's
mine and it's time for you tohave that.
(14:29):
Don't allow self-doubt tocontinue, chipping away at who
you are, chipping away at thethings that you can do for you.
Okay.
So if you are still saying,what if I fail?
What if I'm not good enough?
This is for you.
(14:50):
And if you know someone who issaying what if I fail, what if
I'm not good enough?
This is for them.
Share this episode with themright now.
Download this episode, send itto them, hit the share button
(15:12):
and put it in your group chat.
Have you done it yet?
Now let's talk about someavoidance behaviors.
When we are experiencingself-doubt, some of the things
that we end up going to do, westart procrastinating.
You remember that I mentionedthat we start procrastinating.
We start focusing on lowpriority tasks instead of taking
(15:34):
action.
We want to take empoweredaction, right.
And then what we also do is,when we're avoiding a situation
because of self-doubt, is thatwe let others take the lead on
projects on our lives and weturn down big opportunities.
Don't turn down your bigopportunity.
(15:56):
We even start over preparingbut never actually start.
Does that sound familiar?
Have you ever said, oh, I wantto do this and you prepare for
it?
You prepare for it, prepare forit, but you ain't never started
.
What about that project youwant to make?
Are you still preparing for it,or did you take action?
Is it done yet?
(16:17):
You are experiencing emotionalexhaustion and regret.
You watch others succeed whileyou yourself stay stuck.
Another one is you feel likeyou are meant for more, but you
are way too scared to act.
(16:39):
Don't be afraid.
It's time for you to act.
The root cause of self-doubt alot of times come from past
experiences, something that youlearned growing up.
You see a family member thatlives in the realm of self-doubt
, or you have someone constantlytelling you that they doubt
(17:02):
that you can do something, oryou see that people don't really
believe in you, so thatinstills self-doubt.
You're growing up in anenvironment.
You grew up in an environmentwhere mistakes were punished and
not embraced.
So you may have been beat for amistake, but you didn't have
(17:23):
the discussion on why themistake was a mistake and what
could you do better next timeright?
Could you do better next timeright?
It comes from societal pressure,so from friends, co-workers and
(17:46):
TV.
It comes from unrealisticexpectations.
So you think that everythinghas to be perfect and aligned
and in order in order forsomething to succeed.
But since it's not perfect, youdon't take action, you play
small, you have a fear of beingtoo much or being extra.
Own it, Own that too much, ownthat extra.
(18:08):
You have a fear of rejection andfailure.
You have this hidden belief ofif I fail, it means that I'm a
failure.
No, if you fail, it means foryou to get up, analyze it and go
again.
Okay.
Then we have subconsciousbeliefs that keep us stuck Like
(18:28):
I'm not ready yet.
So then you stay trapped,waiting, okay, to feel like
you're ready.
Do you think that you're goingto feel like you're ever ready
for something that you'redoubting or that you're fearful
of?
Are you really truly going tobe ready or do you have to just
be brave and take the nextempowered step Again?
(18:56):
Don't let perfectionism blockyou.
Or are you the person that saysI don't deserve success?
You have deep rooted issueswith worthiness.
Let's work on that Now.
(19:22):
Self-doubt shows up in our livesand how we may feel, but it
also hijacks our life and if youdon't get that by just what
I've previously said, it showsup in our lives, in our career.
We start playing small.
We avoid leadership roles.
We miss out on growth.
We stay stagnant.
It's time to grow beautifulRelationships.
(19:44):
On growth, we stay stagnant.
It's time to grow beautifulrelationships.
We keep cycling this toxicrelationship and we know we want
out and we know we can havesomething better.
We know we want to be betterand if you had a partner who
wanted the same thing, thenmaybe you can make it work.
But instead you're settling forless and you're struggling to
set healthy boundaries.
(20:05):
Your personal growth staysstuck.
There is no growth.
You live in your comfort zoneand you avoid challenges at all
costs zone and you avoidchallenges at all costs.
(20:27):
So it's time for you to takeempowered action.
If any of today's episoderesonated with you, it's time
for you to take empowered action.
The empowered action steps thatyou're going to take today,
with the ODE method in play, isyou're going to overcome.
You're going to recognizeself-doubt as learned and not
(20:50):
truth, because self-doubt is notwho you are.
It's a pattern that you'veabsorbed.
It's a pattern that yourneuroreceptors and your
subconscious mind and everythingknows to go off on.
But we're not going to do thatanymore.
No more focusing and living inthe self-doubt world Awareness.
(21:15):
You're going to identify yourself-doubt triggers.
You're going to identify yourself-doubt triggers.
So what I want you to do is,anytime that you find yourself
seeing anything questioningyourself, any type of self-doubt
shows up.
I want you to take note of it.
I personally find that it'seasier to take note of it on my
(21:35):
phone, because usually when ithappens to me, I'm either in the
car, I am in the store, I'msomewhere in the house, like
it's not always where pen andpaper is easy, but it's super
easy to have my phone and hitthe camera button and record
(22:00):
myself, or go to the voice noteand leave myself a voice note
Like this is what I'm thinking.
This is self-doubt and this iswhat I was doing before and
after, and this is the thoughtthat I was thinking about, or
this was the action I was taking.
So that way, you can identifyyour self-doubt triggers.
It's time to be aware.
(22:21):
Okay, and then I want you to doa journal prompt.
This one is going to say whatam I afraid will happen if I
step into my full potential?
What are you afraid of?
And, yes, you can be afraid ofsuccess.
What do you think has happened?
What about success are youafraid of?
(22:41):
Okay, I want you to really trulybreak it down, discover, find
evidence of your capabilities.
So I want you to list your pastwins, whether they're big or
whether they're small.
I bought a house, or I wash thedishes before 10 o'clock.
Like, seriously, big or small,sit there and do it, write it
(23:05):
down.
You know, I checked my mailthis week.
Instead of waiting three weekslike I usually do, I checked it
in just a week.
Like, celebrate any win thatyou have.
I received a bonus, likewhatever it may be, celebrate it
right.
(23:25):
I want you to list your pastwins to prove that you are
capable.
Then I want you to ask yourselfwhat would I tell my friend in
my situation?
So, reframe your self-talk, goto the mirror and ask yourself
if I was my friend, what would Itell myself if they were in
(23:46):
this situation?
Again, you can go to the mirror, you can voice record.
I like to do a lot of recordingso that way I can go back and I
can listen to it, becausethere's a lot of things that you
can learn by just watching yourown body movement and the way
that you communicate, elevate,reprogram, limiting beliefs
(24:07):
through action and self-stress.
So take one imperfect actiontoday.
Progress over perfection.
So identify one step that's anempowered action that's going to
help you move forward.
If you take this step, it's astep forward and I want you to
(24:30):
take at least one today.
Okay, when you take thatempowered action, that imperfect
action, send me a message.
Let me know what that imperfectaction was.
I would love to know, I wouldlove to cheer you on.
And then we're going to rewireself-talk.
(24:53):
Replace I'm not ready with I amlearning and growing.
I'm not ready.
Transforms into I am learningand growing.
I'm not ready.
Transforms into I am learningand growing.
Then I want you to surroundyourself with people who
encourage risk-taking and growth, because, you see, self-doubt
(25:16):
is a learned pattern.
It's not true.
So you can break free, you canovercome.
Self-doubt is a barrier that'sin your way, so you don't need
permission to go after what youwant, because you are enough and
(25:38):
you have already given yourselfpermission.
Now, if this episode spoke toyou, share it with someone who
needs to hear it, share it withyour group chat, share it on
your Facebook page, share it onyour LinkedIn, share it and
leave me a comment or review.
(26:00):
And if you're ready to breakthis cycle for good, to get
equipped with tools, I want youto check out my Breakthrough to
Authenticity program and, for alimited time, you can actually
get free access to module oneovercome barriers.
(26:22):
It helps to recognize thepatterns that are limiting you.
It gives you action steps toactually move forward.
We go into the, theneuroscience aspect of it and
how our barriers affect our body, our mind and our spirit.
(26:43):
So it's time for you to takeaction.
Go, join the full Breakthroughto Authenticity six-month
all-inclusive program where youmeet with me weekly video
lessons.
You have activities to empoweryou, help you move forward, set
you up for a life of success,fulfillment, purpose and clarity
(27:09):
.
And, if you're like, oh well, Ijust want to know a little bit
more.
Join the Breakthrough toAuthenticity, module 1 free
access.
You can go to wwwcrystaljcom.
Forward.
Slash Snoop Peek that'sK-R-Y-S-T-A-L-J-A-E dot com.
(27:34):
Forward, slashS-N-E-A-K-P-E-E-K.
And remember that self-doubtdoes not own you, that today
you're going to take oneimperfect action to move
yourself forward.
(27:55):
This has been.
Who Am I with Crystal Jane,episode 48, when your Mind
Becomes your Own Worst Enemy?
This has been.
Who Am I with Crystal Jack,episode 48.
When your mind becomes your ownworst enemy?
The self-doubt cycle and how tostop holding yourself back.
See you next week.
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