Ep 02 | Why Does It Feel So Wrong to Be Honest?

Season 2, Episode 2: Why Does It Feel So Wrong to Be Honest at Work?

 

Episode Description 

Can you really speak your truth at work without risking relationships, reputation, or your job? In this episode of Why Does it Feel So Wrong to Be Human at Work?, hosts Pinaki Kathiari and Chris Lee dig deep into the complex emotional, social, and cultural dynamics around honesty in the workplace.

They ask:

• Why do we crave authenticity—but cringe when we see too much of it at work?
• What makes it so hard to be real with our managers, coworkers, or even ourselves?
• How do power dynamics, culture, and pressure shape what we can say vs. what we want to say?

Through personal stories, research insights, and straight-up vulnerability, Chris and Pinaki explore the messy middle between truth and tact—including how to create a psychologically safe environment where honesty can thrive.

They also introduce concepts like:

• Fantasy relationships and why saying “it’s fine” can create false realities
• The MUM Effect and the psychology of avoiding bad news
• How to detect honesty-coded phrases like “living the dream”
• Lessons from radical honesty, imposter syndrome, and even Ted Lasso

This episode closes with another segment of Wisdom That Feels So Right, highlighting the best books and frameworks on honesty, trust, and communication.

 

Timestamps

• 00:00 – Honesty about Season 1: From scripted to sincere
• 03:00 – Why honesty is complicated at work
• 06:30 – Code-switching, etiquette, and cultural context
• 08:00 – Radical honesty vs. respectful honesty
• 10:00 – Self-advocacy, truth bombs, and rock-and-roll consensus
• 13:00 – Fantasy relationships and misaligned perceptions
• 15:00 – The “brand autopsy” at Local Wisdom: A case study in courageous conversation
• 17:30 – Manager prompts to uncover emotional truths
• 20:00 – Workplace “code speak”: Living the dream = cry for help?
• 22:00 – A brief (and wild) history of honesty in business
• 25:00 – Lessons from Ted Lasso: Honesty builds trust
• 27:00 – The MUM Effect, psychological safety, and distorted perceptions
• 30:00 – Interviews, dating, and performance reviews: Why we dodge the truth
• 32:00 – Timing, empathy, and the courage to speak up
• 34:00 – Pressures that lead to dishonesty in organizations
• 36:00 – Wisdom That Feels So Right + Closing

 

Wisdom That Feels So Right

• Nobody Believes You by Jenni Field
• Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson et al.
• Simon Sinek’s 2-min YouTube clip: “Performance vs. Trust”
• Start With Why by Simon Sinek
• Ted Lasso (TV series, Apple TV+)

 

Key Takeaways

“Honesty without compassion can be cruel.” — Kristen Hancock

“When everyone says yes and no one means it, you're in a fantasy relationship.”

“We overestimate the negative impact of truth—and underestimate the positive.”

 

Connect with Us

Pinaki Kathiari – LinkedIn | Local Wisdom

Chris Lee – LinkedIn | Gallagher Communication

 

Special Thanks

Thank you to Local Wisdom and our rockstar producer Brielle Seracini for making this podcast possible. If your team is wrestling with truth, culture, or communication—let’s take this show on the road to your organization.

Let’s Keep It Real:

If this episode made you laugh, cringe, think—or gave you the urge to forward it anonymously to your boss—please rate, review, and share. We’d love to hear your honest take. Connect with us on LinkedIn and join the conversation.

Special thanks