Ep 2 | Why Does It Feel So Wrong To Say “No” At Work?

Season 1, Episode 2: Why Does It Feel So Wrong to Say “No” at Work?

Episode Description:

Saying “no” at work feels risky—sometimes even dangerous. But why?

In this powerful and vulnerable episode of Why Does It Feel So Wrong to Be Human at Work?, co-hosts Pinaki Kathiari and Chris Lee dig deep into why the simple act of saying “no” can feel like an act of rebellion. Through personal stories, workplace psychology, and reflections on culture and leadership, they unpack how power dynamics, fear, and outdated paradigms have made dissent feel taboo in today’s corporate environment.

Together, they explore:

• Why “no” often triggers fear of judgment, failure, or loss of trust
• The roots of obedience—from ancient empires to public school conditioning
• The modern workplace’s struggle with psychological safety
• How trust, leadership style, and team dynamics shape how safe people feel to speak up
• What healthy conflict, feedback, and creativity actually look like in high-functioning teams
• Tactics for saying “no” with empathy, purpose, and confidence
• The difference between controlling behavior and collaborative leadership

This episode connects history, parenting, neuroscience, and communication strategy into one eye-opening conversation that’ll have you rethinking how your team talks—and how it listens.

Timestamps:

• 00:00 – Intro: The surprising weight of “no”
• 03:00 – Power dynamics and the leadership illusion
• 06:00 – Ancient history, cultural conditioning, and saying yes
• 10:00 – Horace Mann and obedience-based education
• 13:00 – Milgram experiment, Peter Gabriel, and fear-based compliance
• 18:00 – When control leads to dysfunction
• 22:00 – Coaching vs. commanding: What modern leadership demands
• 26:00 – Performance vs. trust: What the Navy SEALs get right
• 30:00 – Fear, failure, and team erosion
• 34:00 – Saying no at home vs. at work: parenting lessons
• 38:00 – Psychological safety defined (and misdefined)
• 44:00 – Crucial conversations: Non-confrontational confrontation
• 48:00 – The future of culture and feedback at work

Books & Resources:

• The Fearless Organization by Amy Edmondson
• Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson et al.
• Humanocracy by Gary Hamel
• Reality-Based Leadership by Cy Wakeman
• Simon Sinek’s Navy SEAL Trust Model Watch on YouTube
• Mental Health Commission of Canada – National Standard for Psychological Safety

Mic-Drop Moments:

“We’re conditioned to say yes, but innovation depends on the courage to say no.”

“Psychological safety isn’t about comfort. It’s about performance without fear.”

“If your team can’t disagree with you, you don’t have a team. You have followers.”

 

Connect with Us:

Pinaki Kathiari – LinkedIn | Local Wisdom

Chris Lee – LinkedIn | Gallagher Communication

 

Special Thanks:

To our community of listeners—thank you for creating space for hard truths and human-first leadership. Special shoutout to Brielle Seracini and our production team at SBX Productions for helping us amplify these conversations.

 

Join the Conversation:

When was the last time you said “no” at work—and meant it? Did it feel empowering or terrifying? Share your stories, insights, and questions in the comments or at whydoesitfeelsowrong.com.

Special thanks to digital communication agency Local Wisdom (