December 13, 2024 • 43 mins
The Why Not Today? Podcast - Season 3 - Episode 42, Thomas Sweitzer, A PLACE TO BE
In this episode, we welcome Thomas Sweitzer, Co-founder of A PLACE TO BE. We discuss Tom's courage journey surrounding music—from walking into a church as a young child in his pajamas to starting a nonprofit. This journey led him to a career as a music therapist. Tom defines courage as vulnerability and reaching deep inside yourself where loneliness lives. He also shares that he thinks courage is making a difference in the lives of others.
We talk about the nonprofit that Tom co-founded, A PLACE TO BE, which is a nationally recognized, award-winning therapeutic arts organization creating community, belonging, and hope through music therapy, performance, and the expressive arts. Tom lives by the motto, "When you find your place in this world, help others find theirs." He encourages us to go inside ourselves to find our childhood dreams, giving ourselves the space and time to think and feel. Tom's journey is such an inspiration and full of love.
The “Why Not Today?” Podcast, hosted by Leslie Kane, showcases individuals who have boldly asked themselves, “Why not today?” and have taken courageous actions. In a heartfelt tribute to her father, Patrick Kane. This podcast serves as a beacon of encouragement, reminding us all that sometimes the most transformative moments begin with a simple question: Why not today?
Contact Thomas -
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/thomas.sweitzer.5
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/tom.sweitzer/
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/thomas-sweitzer-1339a7208/
Contact Leslie -
Facebook - www.facebook.com/podcastwhynottoday
Instagram - www.instagram.com/whynottodaypodcast
LinkedIn - www.linkedin.com/in/leslie-kane-3825222/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to the Why Not Today podcast where we celebrate courage, determination, and the
(00:06):
power of saying why not today.
I'm your host, Leslie Cain, and in each episode we dive into inspiring stories of individuals
who have taken bold steps, faced their fears, and embraced the possibility of today.
From entrepreneurs to artists, dreamers to doers, we explore the moments when they said
enough waiting, why not today?
Join me as we uncover the heartwarming, the audacious, and the transformative.
(00:29):
Whether it's pursuing a lifelong passion, overcoming obstacles, or simply choosing joy,
our guests share their journeys and inspire us all.
I started this podcast in honor of my father, Patrick Cain, who often said why not today.
And remember we're just one decision away from changing our lives.
And so welcome to the Why Not Today podcast again, and really why not today?
(00:51):
I'm kind of evolving as we're going.
This is almost three years, and I really feel like why not today is a movement, and a movement
to encourage people to live their life, live their lives with courage, and pursue their
dreams.
And so I love all the stories that I've heard, the story behind the story, the why not today
moments.
And so my guest today is Tom Thomas.
(01:12):
Did you go by Tom?
Tom?
Tom is good.
Tom, Tom Schweitzer.
And I heard about you about a year ago at the social collectives team.
And then I've had several people say, oh my gosh, you have to have Tom on your podcast.
And then we happened to be at a gala about a month ago, and somebody walked, you walked
(01:35):
up with your co-founder, and I'm like, oh, and we tried to connect and we couldn't.
And so I'm so excited to have you on.
And I love the connections.
Another good friend of mine, Kelly, well, Kelly Goose is now I know, or Kelly Barr, you
worked with.
Just fun to see all the connections in the community, and I'm excited to have you on.
You've got some amazing why not today moments and stories of courage.
(01:58):
And I love what you're doing.
And it aligns with my heart with working with special needs and my sister Amanda, which
we've got to get in the fold of you.
So Tom, introduce yourself a little about you, not your whole courage journey, not your
whole just who you are and a fun fact.
And then we'll get into courage.
Leslie, thank you for having me.
(02:19):
I'm very honored.
And so I'm a music therapist.
I'm the co-founder of a place to be in Loudoun County, Virginia.
We are 15 years old.
We're a nonprofit organization helping the world find community belonging and hope working
with people with and without disabilities.
(02:40):
I'm an actor.
I'm a writer.
I'm a lover of life.
Fun fact about me, about my family.
Maybe my I'm related to a very large Italian family that owns an amazing amusement park
outside of Altoona, Pennsylvania.
Oh, well.
And also we have a spaghetti sauce that is international called Del Grosso sauce or La
(03:05):
Familia.
So I always find that's a fun fact.
Oh, that's a fun fact.
Do you have the family recipe that you share?
I do.
I do.
But I think around here you can get it.
I got it at Wegmans, Martins and probably Walmart, I think.
Harris Teeter was holding it for a while.
But yeah, so that's because you're going to learn all the other personal things about
(03:26):
me.
So I love that.
Well, I might have to look for the sauce.
Yeah.
Not know the Italian background.
And we are doing for the first time my sister's hosting Christmas Eve and we're doing seven
fishes.
I guess an Italian thing.
So you will smell for seven days after.
Oh, well, we're doing it at her house, so yay.
Yeah, that's the thing in our family too.
(03:48):
We always were like, whoever hosts that night, let them host it.
And it's such a good night.
I love the seven fishes.
Well, when we're done, you might have to give me some suggestions and ideas.
So she just sent an invite.
I'm not sure what we're doing, but I think it'll be fun.
Huge missions.
Yeah, you want to bring an outfit that you can put over, an outfit, and then you take
(04:08):
that off.
Okay.
Good tips.
So love that.
And I love that you said community, involvement, and hope.
Community belonging and hope.
Belonging, even better.
And that's really what I am about and love all those.
So all right, what does courage mean to you, Tom?
Courage to me means, it means vulnerability.
(04:33):
It means that you're not afraid to reach deep inside of what is vulnerable inside of yourself.
Where your darkest thoughts, your dreams, the part of yourself that you have some fear about,
(04:53):
where loneliness resides, where there's a hole, where you dig inside of that part of
yourself to make a difference in the world for others.
And I think anybody that has, the people I admire very much in my life who have had courage,
(05:13):
so many people either faced with some sort of trauma.
And we both, I'm sure you and I both have tons of friends, either cancer survivors or
something is going on or a car wreck.
And our life is so fragile right now, our lives.
And there's so much chaos going on that I think it's the best time to be courageous and
(05:37):
it's a really hard time to be courageous.
And so I learned courage a long time ago when I learned that I would have to dig inside
to really find who I am and then to see what I could dig up, what I could excavate from
myself to go out and help other people.
(05:58):
That's my, that's sort of the definition I see.
And we can just stop now because that's an, oh my goodness, I love that.
And so true.
And I was just listening to a podcast and I said, talk about loneliness and that's just
something that has hit my heart so hard that people are so lonely and our world is upside
down and we're just talking about a situation.
(06:19):
We're not going to go into the situation right now because hopefully by the time somebody
listens to this or 20 years from now when you listen to this, it's a matter.
So we're not going into it, but I think you said, yeah, this world is upside down.
It is upside down and loneliness is obviously more in a crisis.
And that's, so when you are mission here at a place to be community, belonging and hope,
(06:45):
belonging that middle word is so important.
And there are studies that have been done now on, you know, what is belonging, how a
person's life is forever changed when they belong to something.
And at the end of the day, Leslie, that's all we're trying to do.
We're trying to wake up in the morning and belong to something.
And that is something we are extremely, we're very passionate about here that everybody
(07:11):
that walks through our doors here at a place to be feels like they belong.
Well, I think the whole belonging thing, it's the connections to like, if you can find that
mutual connection, that was something my dad was brilliant about, like getting to know
people asking questions.
Like, can you find that mutual connection?
Like I went immediately when we first met, you told me you grew up in Altoona.
(07:32):
I'm like, oh, we drove past Altoona, you know, I stopped at McDonald's or, you know, nothing
more than drive through, but a media life out connected to you.
Hopefully not McDonald's.
Get that.
It's in the news.
So, but yeah, we'd stop there on the way to go skiing.
And but that was immediate connection.
Yeah, you went to Blue Knob, right?
(07:53):
Yeah.
Did you ski there?
Yeah.
Well, no, I was not a skier.
I went there with I went there with friends to watch them ski.
Okay.
So yeah, our good friends of our family owned those mountains.
Okay.
So that's exactly I mean, connection is it right?
And that is what we are missing.
(08:14):
Right.
And if you can find that connection, you went to the same school you even if it was
20, 100 years apart, you find that connection.
And I think once you can find that you build that trust with people.
Totally.
And so, and you feel like you belong, which is exactly.
And something that connects, you know, and that's the thing that we're having a problem
(08:34):
with in the world right now is, right?
How do you connect to other people?
And people are shut down.
A lot of people are shut down.
A lot of people don't know how to connect.
And when you work with the populations we work with, which you know very well, if you're
in a minority, if you're in the world of disability, connections are hard.
(08:57):
Try being in a wheelchair and how isolated you feel most of your day anyway, or autism
that has trouble communicating.
So what we do here is the moment you walk in, we want you to feel like, you know, without
the religion, you're at church, you're here as a community, gathering place.
(09:19):
And that's what we, that's what we hopefully do for all of our clients here and all the
performers we have here at a place to be.
And music is such an important thing.
I met somebody the other night in an event and he walked up to me, introduced himself,
so what do you do for fun?
And not what do you do to make money?
I don't, he says, I don't care about that.
I'm like, well, what I do for fun is actually a business when I talked about the podcast.
(09:43):
And he said, the reason I asked that question is he said, a couple years ago, I was in ICU
dying and I had to call my daughters and tell them, no, I'd probably never see him again.
And obviously still on the side of the earth and doing great.
But he said, ever since that moment, he's like, I've been passionate about asking questions,
getting people to know people.
And we talked about the music.
(10:04):
And he said that when people that he know, unfortunately are dying, cancer, something,
he creates a music playlist for them of their favorite music and shared that with them.
He said he had a good friend passing away and he was pretty unconscious and he played
his, their favorite song that they had as friends.
And he said he opened his eyes and so music is so powerful.
(10:24):
So I want to get into the whole place to be and how that came about, but I want to go
way back.
You told me your first why not say moment and it goes back to the starfish I always wear
and you never know who that one person that's going to make a difference.
It's going to take your life completely pivotal.
And you told me a story and I can remember it vividly when you told me where I was sitting.
(10:45):
So it was a why not say moment for me.
So share that first why not say moment that changed the trajectory of your life.
Sure.
Born and raised in Altoona, Pennsylvania in the 70s.
Very gray, dismal time in Pennsylvania in Altoona at that point.
I lived in a very crowded neighborhood.
(11:06):
My mom was very ill.
She was obese and had diabetes and a very severe heart condition.
My dad was paranoid schizophrenic.
I was an only child and my household was pretty much hell.
(11:27):
Although my mom made sure to make beautiful moments for me and I was loved.
I was loved by the rest of my family.
I was loved by the neighbors.
Around eight years old, I always fascinated about the church that was across the street
from my house.
And one of my my father being schizophrenic, one of his triggers was religion, which is
(11:50):
a very common thing for paranoid schizophrenia.
He had complete conversations with God, with the devil.
But I would hear this beautiful music pouring out of these stained glass windows across
the street at the church.
And you would hear the organ.
Every Sunday morning, every Sunday night, all week long, I'd hear the bells.
(12:15):
And at that point in my life, I slept in the living room with my mom.
I slept on one couch.
She slept on another.
My couch was up against a big window.
That's where I felt safest.
My mom felt I was safe, my dad was also abusive.
And at night, I would pull back the curtains and I would stare across the street at that
(12:35):
church and I would pray.
And as I say in my show, I used to pray to, I thought it was a radio tower because remember,
radio was really big, seven, eight, and I thought the steeple of the church was a radio
tower.
And I myself, if I live that close to a radio tower, you know, I must have amazing reception.
(12:56):
So I thought that God, God, we hear bears a little bit louder.
Love that thought process.
Yeah.
So one Sunday morning, I just, I couldn't take my house hold anymore.
I couldn't take the screaming.
I couldn't take the abuse.
And I was in my pajamas and I heard the music from across the street and I ran out as fast
(13:16):
as I could across the street.
I went up to the steps.
And at the top of the steps, this part, all of this is actually how it happened.
And this next part, sometimes people hear this next part and they think, oh, no way.
I also think there's no way this happened, but it did.
I got up to the top of the steps, the big red doors open, and there stands this Sunday
(13:39):
school teacher.
She has a three-piece skirt suit and she had a big, tall beehive and these little cat glasses.
And she asked me, what took you so long to cross the street?
We've been waiting for you.
And to this day, you know, I don't know.
(13:59):
I don't know if she saw my face in the window throughout the years, but her name was Erdine
Grissinger.
She died in her midnight.
I was going to say, she's still alive.
Oh, she, she passed away, I think it was probably about 10 years ago, but I did get to see her
before she passed away.
Wow.
And there was it.
And I walked into her Sunday school room and there was a piano.
(14:20):
The first piano I ever touched and she sat beside me and she, you know, it's kind of
cool.
I have one here.
And I played and, you know, all she had to do and oh, and she was, she played a song
for me.
And every time she'd play a song, she'd end the song with what she called a grand finale.
(14:44):
So it could even be amazing grace.
It would end like this.
Love it.
And if you're listening and not watching, he looks like somebody with a grand finale.
He's funny.
And then I stayed there with her for about eight years every Sunday.
(15:06):
I never missed.
She taught me how to play the piano.
She taught me how to sing.
She without knowing it was a music therapist.
She was music therapy to me.
And so, yeah, that's when my life was saved.
That's why not today.
And I mean, that eight year old who I was, I was like, why not today?
I'm going to cross the street and follow the music.
(15:29):
And yeah, so that's to hear that story.
So that started to directory your life obviously turned around.
She made such a difference.
And you also shared how she had food for you.
Oh, yeah.
So she also she caught on fast, you know, that I didn't really have a great home to
go back to.
(15:49):
So when Sunday school was over about 1145, she would pull out her lunch and she would
like by mistake, she packed two sandwiches and she would say like, oh, oh, my, look
at this.
I packed two sandwiches.
You should stay here.
She would ask me to water her plants.
Anything to get me to stay longer.
And I would stay all afternoon.
(16:11):
I mean, there were times I don't know, you know, that when I got older, I became head
of the youth choir.
I did shows.
I became so I had a reason to be at church from nine to nine.
Like there were nights I didn't go home until about eight or nine and I never had to come
home, which, you know, almost brings me to tears to think about how many kids, even children
(16:35):
today, they'll do anything to stay out of their home because there's something.
Yeah.
And if she didn't give me that refuge, if she didn't give me the literal sanctuary,
I know I would not be here.
I would not I would not be in my own sanctuary here.
I sit at a place to be while right across the hallway, there are two or three children
(16:57):
having music therapy.
And that that I do like every morning I wake up and I think, you know, it's about connecting
our stories.
Leslie said about connecting, right?
Like how do we make it of our lives and ourselves?
Well, people like storytellers, people like people that have a story, but everybody does.
But we have to be awake and open.
(17:19):
Like I it took me years.
It took me into my late twenties to understand the importance of how my life was saved.
Then when you find that moment when somebody opens a door for you, when somebody gives
you something that propels you into the next chapter of your life, our duty is to then
help somebody else.
There was a there was a pastor in Upperville, Virginia.
(17:42):
So I moved, went to college.
I did go to college and went to Shenandoah University to be an actor.
I went into music theater.
But then I started to teach in Middleburg, Virginia at a private school.
And that's another Godwink, you know, how did I find that job just happened to be a kid
that was in a camp that I was teaching and the headmaster came by and saw me and said,
(18:04):
Hey, do you want to be in my office tomorrow for an interview?
But there was a pastor, you know, I've now lived in Middleburg for 31 years.
This pastor passed right before I moved in.
And all I heard Leslie, the first year I started to teach in Middleburg was, Oh my, you remind
us of this pastor.
(18:24):
His name was Dick Peard.
Oh, you you're so much like Dick Peard.
Well, I found out I was honored to be compared because this man was an amazing man.
But he said one statement in a graduation speech that he gave that I use all the time.
When you find your place in this world, help others find theirs.
(18:45):
Okay, I repeat that when you find your place in this world, you find your place when you
find your place in this world, help others find theirs.
Those two sentences boil everything down to why we're here.
Now in some of us, I'm very, you know, although I grew up very poor, there was abuse in my
(19:09):
house.
I'm going to tell you, I was still privileged.
I was privileged because I had love around me.
I had teachers.
I had mentors.
I had I had the church.
I had God, whatever.
And I believe in, I believe in everything.
But whatever God I was told, I kind of created in my head, you know, I had to create him,
(19:30):
you know, when I went home, because you have to have something to hold on to.
And you know, it was great to hear the church's version of God.
But as I grew older, I say this in my book, God grew with me.
So my definition when I was a child was sort of, you know, it's what you're taught, what
the Bible teaches you or what somebody preaches, but as I got older, he kind of like went along
(19:55):
with me.
He kind of adapted because this all I think of God is love.
That's it.
And so, and the love guided me to this day.
And so that when I started teaching at in Middleburg, that saying just those two sentences,
when you find yourself, when you find yourself in this world, help others find theirs, that
(20:17):
was the end all for me. And that's hence where some of my service came from.
And I've always wanted to help children.
This is something I think I told you about Leslie too.
And I don't share this one all the time, but I'm a very proud person to share this now
is I was also in Easter Seals until I was seven.
(20:42):
So I was in a classroom full of people that are diagnosed disabled.
And I found a certificate that a schooling certificate in a shoe box that I put away
a long time ago.
And it said it was for Easter Seals.
And it said I was diagnosed with MR, which is mental retardation, because they didn't
(21:08):
have I I've always known I'm probably somewhere on the spectrum somewhere.
But I couldn't say my S's, my T's, my R's or my W's and my last name was Switzer.
So they didn't know where to put me.
And plus this energy you're seeing right now, I had that energy.
It was like a five year old.
And I wanted to create and draw and paint and dance and sing.
(21:32):
By second grade Leslie, my teachers understood me so well, you know, it's the old fashioned
school in 1978, whatever that was, you know, big old brick building, cement hallways.
My second grade teacher was so brilliant.
She knew I had ADD and ADHD.
I don't know what they called it back then.
(21:52):
And she knew I love to dance.
So my mom bought me a pair of tap shoes.
So between classes, she would let me get my tap shoes on and I would just tap myself
up and down that long hallway for like three minutes and then she'd be like, Tommy, come
on back in.
So that's what I mean.
Like I didn't have a privy life with money.
(22:14):
I didn't have a home that was safe.
I was also a fat little kid, made fun of.
But I had privilege of love.
And I think that that is when we're looking for the resilience, right?
And I know we have, we've lost a lot of the power of resilience in our world too.
(22:35):
But some people don't have that much love around them.
Some people aren't understood or hugged.
You know, we come into this place, a place to be all the time and it's like a, it's a
massive hug.
Not everybody has that.
And so that is bringing us to today.
That is where Kim Tapper, my brilliant co-founder and I, she has her own story, which is amazing
(22:56):
of how she got here.
And we're really excited to have her on the podcast as well.
Yeah.
And we have two totally different stories, but we ended up together.
We're also, we knew at one time we were like only 2% of men and women who run an organization
together and we're not married.
It's quite peculiar.
And we also, we've been best friends for 22 years and we finish each other's sentences.
(23:21):
And but we both knew that the world needed more love.
So music therapy is when I went into, she went into psychology and life coaching and
we started to see the same clients.
They go see her.
They go see me.
I write a song, we perform it.
(23:42):
And you know, our first year, Leslie was 2010.
And between the two of us, we had about 23 clients.
We kind of looked over.
Let's talk, I mean, we've talked around a place to be.
So I know there was a moment, another why not say moment where you started it, but talk
about how you started it and exactly what a place to be does and your mission.
And it is a nonprofit.
(24:02):
And what you're doing it then, I know you're changing lives and I know just talking about
all the things and I can relate the connection.
My sister Amanda, who has Down syndrome, born in 82, people asked my parents that they were
going to keep her because at that point they institutionalize many kids with Down syndrome.
That's what they do.
And so my parents are like, no, we actually have a letter and stories.
(24:25):
My dad shared about the day she was born and people are like, do you want to be in the
hospital away from the normal mothers?
And they said Amanda was going to be special.
My dad's like, I have five other kids that are special.
And so it's funny.
I was just messing with a friend the other day and Amanda was in the car and sent a message
and my friend's like, you know, Amanda just makes me smile and Amanda makes everybody
(24:47):
smile.
And the joy Amanda brings and I just went to her workplace and our old boss was there
and she's like, I miss Amanda.
Can I call her to just hang out with me and do I'm like, yes, you love that.
But yeah, so we just need that love.
And all right.
So that was a tangent.
So tell me how did a place to become about that quickly that night when I met your sister,
(25:10):
you can.
Oh yeah, you'd better.
Well, authenticity, you know, any of us that are blessed and honored enough to live or
work live with any of these individuals who maybe have autism, Down syndrome, and then
there are many hidden disabilities.
The resilience they have, the authenticity they have, we need to learn from them.
(25:36):
Yes.
And then I have all but all the bag is like one time I was with a friend and we were walking
around the lake with Amanda and Amanda's like, Oh, captain flipped over the sailboat and
they went all the way over like this was 20 some years ago.
I'm like, I mean, the things she remembers and my friends like, you know, she doesn't
have all she's not worried about where meals coming from.
She's not worried.
I mean, she does worry about some things, but she had all the crap in her head that
(25:58):
we do.
Yep, exactly.
And she can just be who she is and be honest about who she is in her feelings.
Like when my dad passed away, she was sad and she was and even to this day, it's like
I miss my dad, I'm sad and she says the things that we might not be vulnerable enough to
say.
Yeah, I would say that in Down syndrome could can be sometimes an autism, obviously, there's
(26:21):
a portal that some of these different populations live in that are very blunt, truthful, don't
have a lot of veneer and not a lot of screen, you know,
Yeah, maybe I'll call you out.
Oh, Catherine Greg too much last night.
She's, you know, and she's watching and she's paying attention on social media too.
(26:47):
She knows everything about everybody.
Oh my God.
Just kind of fun.
It gives her some fun things to do.
Yes.
All right.
So place to be how did what was that why not summary moment and how did that.
So how it came about is for 14 years I was teaching at the Hill School in Middleburg,
Virginia.
(27:07):
Yeah, but I was giving voice lessons acting lessons and I started to work with arts for
all which was called very special arts where Kelly and I have worked together.
And that was my first real in involved moment where I got to work with people with disabilities.
My first show was Cinderella.
It was this was all started in our area by an amazing woman by the name of Alice power.
(27:32):
And she wanted a new director.
I came in and to be really honest with you very unlike my days when I was six or seven
years old in Easter Seals.
I hadn't spent a lot of time with people with disabilities until this came about that night.
That cast had approximately 45 individuals, maybe 1015 will chairs in front of me.
(27:55):
I was overwhelmed.
I did not know what to do.
And then what you do.
Why not today?
I have been.
Yeah.
And I can remember Leslie, I it was at the Hill School, we're in the theater area.
I welcomed everybody and also one of my first time seeing parents with handcloths wiping
(28:16):
up their children's saliva.
Children bent over hand flapping screaming at I didn't have a lot of training.
I went into the bathroom and I looked at myself and I thought, who do you think you are?
Because for a moment I thought, I'm an actor.
I'm into theater.
(28:37):
I want to go to Broadway someday.
Like, you know, and who do you think you are?
And I can remember what I was wearing even I was wearing a white sweater.
I looked at my natural day moment.
Yeah.
And that was it.
Then I went back and I took over.
And so that started that.
And then about four years later, I was given a voice lesson to a young man who was 13.
(29:01):
His father had taken his life just weeks before.
Kid comes into a voice lesson.
He asks me to start to help him write a song that he gave me a poem about his dad.
He said, could you help me write a song?
I said, sure.
That one half hour of voice lesson went on for two hours that night.
So I knew something was happening.
(29:22):
Like I was like, oh my God, this is where I do my best, right?
And that night I was in Shenandoah University, you know, they have a professional summer
series of music theater.
And I played Horton the elephant there many times.
So that night I was playing Horton and I still am a big, I love Shenandoah Summer Music Theater
(29:48):
and I help out wherever I can.
But that night I was on a net.
If you remember the story of Horton, he tries to hatch an egg up on a nest.
I'm in an elephant outfit.
I'm on a nest.
I'm singing a beautiful song called Salah Saloo.
But it hits me and I'm watching hundreds of people who pay to watch me sing as an elephant.
And I thought about that boy all during the show.
(30:11):
I could not get the kid out of my head.
I went home and I thought, I'm a music therapist.
That's it.
And then I went back to school that next term and, you know, it's a four year program.
We are trained just like a regular therapist.
We take anatomy.
We have to, it's almost like the bar exam.
When you're done, you have to, you have to get accreditation and certified.
(30:35):
And at that time, right before that, I met Kim Tapper.
And Kim was running another nonprofit in DC at the time and she came to dance at the
Hill School.
I needed a choreographer.
We talked, we talked.
We were like, oh my God, I feel like we knew each other our whole lives.
Wow.
So then after that night of hoarding the elephant, I went back to school, but as soon as I graduated,
(31:00):
she and I opened up a place to be in 2010 and started out with 23 kids between the two
of us.
And today we sit here.
It's 275 families per week, 14 full time music therapists.
And we are a nonprofit and I unfortunately, unfortunately, spent a lot of my time right
(31:23):
now raising funds because we have never turned a child away because of financial reasons in
15 years.
But Kim and I, we both have between the two of us, this is financial aid.
We have to raise close to a million dollars a year because we are paying certified therapists
and we have been working that are living in Loudoun County.
(31:46):
So yeah, we're doing our best and everybody that works here is working because of love.
You know, they're not working here because they have great salaries.
They're working here because right before I walked in here, there's a young man here
that is nonverbal, but he's not nonverbal when he goes in there with one of our music
therapists and sings.
(32:07):
So that is one of the difference you're making.
I love it.
And I want to get involved.
We want to get a man involved.
We want to spread the word and get you support.
And I know we're recording this and it's coming out in December of 2024, but there's a couple
things coming up.
So if somebody listens to it real time, like what's going on in December of 2024 with the
(32:30):
place to be in December 2025, it'll probably be happening too.
And there's other things to get involved.
But I thought timing wise, let's share a little bit.
I can share it in the show notes too.
Like what's going on.
Okay.
So the biggest one, we have Charlie Brown Christmas.
That's this weekend.
So that's very soon.
That's Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
You can go to our website, a place to be VA like Virginia.org, a place to be VA.org.
(32:54):
But the thing I would invite everybody to is my, this is my Christmas.
It's December 22nd, Sunday, December 22nd at two o'clock.
It's at Salamander resort.
The resort is nice enough, kind enough to give us the entire ballroom.
We usually have about 300 to 400 people show up, 500 at one year.
(33:16):
And it is our concert.
And this year, the theme is vintage variety show.
If you remember the Andy Williams shows from the 60s, 70s, and it stars our children.
And keep it about 85 minutes.
So you can get in at two o'clock and you can get in your car before it gets dark.
We hand out tissues on your way in.
(33:39):
It's a very happy, happy tears, very moving experience.
Cost is nothing.
We will ask you if you want to become a donor.
We have many ways you can do that.
A one-time gift, you can become part of our Firmata circle, which is like a monthly sustainer.
That can even be at $10.
Everything goes to programming and financial aid, but you don't pay anything to come to
(34:02):
the December 22nd.
I would just say if you want to come, get there at 130 for a good seat.
And yeah, just be ready to have a good day.
So can you get tickets or you just show up?
Just show up.
Okay.
I'm going to give me a gift to my mother, so she won't listen to podcasts.
I'm like, show up.
I love it.
Leslie, that's a great idea.
(34:22):
I think that is very cool.
I think a lot of people bring people back every year.
It is like much better than the HomeMark channel.
I was going to say the HomeMark channel.
It's like the real HomeMark being right in front of you.
But one of them I created, I had somebody on the podcast a couple months ago and she talked
about a local bucket list and I've always been all about bucket lists, but I've always
(34:45):
done a holiday bucket list.
And I have my holiday bucket list of places and one of the things I think is, Middleburg
is magical at Christmas.
It is a Hallmark town kind of thing.
And so one of the things was to go there and I like to do things with my mom and sister.
So I think we might just have to come and just surprise her and definitely want to get
a man involved and other people involved.
(35:07):
Next year, Leslie, now that we know each other and our friends, my house is on the parade
route and I have parking.
So I will be there because I saw it the other day.
I'm like, oh, I wish I would have gone to that.
Yeah, you can park in my yard.
You have to get there early and you just watch it from the yard.
Well, I love that.
All right.
So we are a little longer, but this is so good.
(35:29):
Before we go though, talk about your book.
I know I heard about it when I first heard of you and you were signing copies, but tell
me about it and how we signed it.
Yeah, so there's two things connected there.
I was lucky enough to have a one man show off Broadway last year in 2023 called 20 Seconds.
So the book is called 20 Seconds.
It's only privately.
(35:51):
It's not published quite yet.
We're waiting because of the hope right now the off Broadway show 20 Seconds is being
made into a Broadway type musical with people.
Yeah, it's with it's being produced.
One of our producers is Joey Parnes, who is one from the original Jersey Boys and many,
(36:15):
many others.
I have two amazing producers here.
Ben Graham, Frank Baltz and some people would know around here is Teresa Wheeler.
She's one of the biggest philanthropists here in Loudoun County and she helped get this
show off the ground and the show is about how music saved my life.
So by spring of 2025, it will be sold on Amazon and hopefully we will be going to publishing.
(36:44):
So how do I get a copy?
You have to wait till spring of 2020.
I will give you a copy.
And if anybody really wants it, they, this is how I keep my Facebook as my blog.
Because I didn't want to do it.
So you do great things on Facebook, by the way.
Thank you.
Thomas Switzer, not Tom.
Thomas Switzer and you can go right to my Facebook.
(37:05):
I keep all place to be.
And we'll share all your show, all your contact information as show notes.
Great, great.
But yeah, and then, you know, hopefully in a theater somewhere next fall, you'll see
the show and can get your book there too.
So, so fun.
So yeah, we'll definitely share all your contact.
And when the book comes out officially, we'll have you back on the podcast.
(37:28):
That would be great.
And one of the things that I've talked about here a couple of times that I mentioned to
you, and it's kind of a Godwink passion project to me is to really have why not today be a
movement that changes people's lives.
And I read something the other day and there's actually a phrase and I don't remember exactly
what it is, but talks about how the clothes we wear, if it's got words on it, how we can
(37:50):
live our life that way and how it makes a difference in our life to give us courage to
do.
It was some organization that has t-shirts that talk about it.
That it's just not words.
Yeah, no, but so I really feel like why not today is a movement and a message that we
need to give people courage to do the things.
And so part of my passion is to partner with nonprofits that when you buy a why not today
(38:13):
swag percentage goes to nonprofits.
So we're putting that together and we'll definitely partner with you guys to raise some funds
in the future.
Wonderful.
So how would you encourage somebody else to say why not today to be brave, to be courageous,
to do the thing?
So walk across the street to the church.
I think going back to the beginning to bookend our conversation, right?
(38:36):
Courage, right?
Where do you find it?
It takes a big breath in.
It takes some silence and you have to go down here.
And inside there are where all of your childhood dreams are still alive, where all of our
childhood dreams are still alive.
And so I would say that the first thing that you do is make sure that you give yourself
(39:00):
a space and time to feel.
Because we are moving so fast, especially when it comes to around these seasonal times,
that we don't stop and feel.
And as a music therapist, I would tell you that sometimes it's silence and sometimes
it's not a feeling.
And as a music therapist, I would tell you that sometimes it's silence and sometimes
(39:22):
like you were talking about the playlist, it's putting on a song and saying, I'm going
to sit on my hands.
I'm not going to do anything but listen to this song.
There you will find your courage.
Yeah, so true.
And we don't give ourselves enough.
And my word last year was space to give myself more space.
(39:43):
And like my ideas come when I'm going for a walk, when I'm in the shower, when I get
in my car and listen to music.
And that's because during the day, I just, I fill my space with so many things and we
don't take the time.
And going back to your childhood dream, the childhood dream I remember is to be financially
in a place that I can give back and volunteer.
(40:05):
I'm with you.
Where am I going?
I'm with you.
I know.
So connecting back to my dad, I think he's definitely the belonging part, as I said,
just being, connecting, finding people.
Obviously Amanda, he was a proponent of anybody with disabilities with, you know, getting
Amanda in schools that wasn't being bussed off and making Amanda was just like anybody
(40:29):
else.
Yeah.
I think you're doing that as well.
And just, you know, he started a group home and just being able to give back.
And then he was an only child like you.
And so he surrounded himself with other people to fill his life and always did.
And our house was always full of a million people because nobody was excluded.
Well, I think that you creating what you're creating with this takes all of those pieces
(40:55):
of his legacy and then makes it your legacy.
Yes.
Keeps going, keeps rolling.
And I, you know what?
Every episode I do, I was telling somebody the other day that like sometimes it's not
easy and you know, the podcast isn't really a financial thing yet.
Yes.
But I just keep doing consistently and I'm not missing.
(41:15):
And I'm just like, you know what?
I'm just following the path that God is putting in front of me, the people I'm supposed to
meet.
And you know, we tried to connect months ago and somebody got COVID and it wasn't the
right time.
And so just following.
It's always the right time.
And I felt the same way Leslie about my one man show, right?
So I'm 52.
So it took me to 51 to get to Broadway, right?
(41:38):
I never even tried.
Like that whole world up there is a world to itself.
But what you just said about your podcast took seven years to get the show there.
I never dreamt it really would be going to off-Broadway.
I had no idea that would be, you know, on 42nd Street for six weeks, doing my mission.
And but what I did was just kept going, kept going, kept going, kept going, kept going
(42:00):
because don't give up.
Don't give up.
Just keep going.
If you, and whatever ends up, at least you're doing what you love.
Yep.
And when those coincidences happens and those Godwings and those things happen.
Rabbit.
Because you were living your life in alignment to your values.
And I'll never forget exactly where I'm standing in that dull, smaraght when I met you officially.
(42:22):
Hey.
It's gonna be a one-man thing moment in my life.
And then your sweet sister.
I mean, yeah, I'm sure we have a lot to do together and I just appreciate.
We're not done.
Hearing other people's stories too.
Thank you for putting that up into the world.
Thank you for being a guest, honored to have you on here.
And we'll share all your contact in the show notes.
(42:43):
And if anybody's listening real time and you want to go to the concert with me on the 22nd,
I'm going.
So we'll figure that out.
So share the, share the mission of why not today, everybody listening.
It's a movement.
Be courageous.
Do the things that you love.
Your little childhood dreams, the things that keep you up.
And thank you everybody for enjoying and are joining us for this inspiring journey.
(43:05):
For every day is an opportunity to take action, chase your dreams and make a difference.
So why not today and make sure you're subscribing, liking, sharing, telling other people about
the why not today message.
You can find everything you want about why not today at whynottodaypodcast.com or on
all the social and let's make a movement and remember why not today.
Thanks again, Tom.
(43:26):
Thank you.
Bye.
Bye.
Welcome to the Why Not Today podcast where we celebrate courage, determination, and the
(00:06):
power of saying why not today.
I'm your host, Leslie Cain, and in each episode we dive into inspiring stories of individuals
who have taken bold steps, faced their fears, and embraced the possibility of today.
From entrepreneurs to artists, dreamers to doers, we explore the moments when they said
enough waiting, why not today?
Join me as we uncover the heartwarming, the audacious, and the transformative.
(00:29):
Whether it's pursuing a lifelong passion, overcoming obstacles, or simply choosing joy,
our guests share their journeys and inspire us all.
I started this podcast in honor of my father, Patrick Cain, who often said why not today.
And remember we're just one decision away from changing our lives.
And so welcome to the Why Not Today podcast again, and really why not today?
(00:51):
I'm kind of evolving as we're going.
This is almost three years, and I really feel like why not today is a movement, and a movement
to encourage people to live their life, live their lives with courage, and pursue their
dreams.
And so I love all the stories that I've heard, the story behind the story, the why not today
moments.
And so my guest today is Tom Thomas.
(01:12):
Did you go by Tom?
Tom?
Tom is good.
Tom, Tom Schweitzer.
And I heard about you about a year ago at the social collectives team.
And then I've had several people say, oh my gosh, you have to have Tom on your podcast.
And then we happened to be at a gala about a month ago, and somebody walked, you walked
(01:35):
up with your co-founder, and I'm like, oh, and we tried to connect and we couldn't.
And so I'm so excited to have you on.
And I love the connections.
Another good friend of mine, Kelly, well, Kelly Goose is now I know, or Kelly Barr, you
worked with.
Just fun to see all the connections in the community, and I'm excited to have you on.
You've got some amazing why not today moments and stories of courage.
(01:58):
And I love what you're doing.
And it aligns with my heart with working with special needs and my sister Amanda, which
we've got to get in the fold of you.
So Tom, introduce yourself a little about you, not your whole courage journey, not your
whole just who you are and a fun fact.
And then we'll get into courage.
Leslie, thank you for having me.
(02:19):
I'm very honored.
And so I'm a music therapist.
I'm the co-founder of a place to be in Loudoun County, Virginia.
We are 15 years old.
We're a nonprofit organization helping the world find community belonging and hope working
with people with and without disabilities.
(02:40):
I'm an actor.
I'm a writer.
I'm a lover of life.
Fun fact about me, about my family.
Maybe my I'm related to a very large Italian family that owns an amazing amusement park
outside of Altoona, Pennsylvania.
Oh, well.
And also we have a spaghetti sauce that is international called Del Grosso sauce or La
(03:05):
Familia.
So I always find that's a fun fact.
Oh, that's a fun fact.
Do you have the family recipe that you share?
I do.
I do.
But I think around here you can get it.
I got it at Wegmans, Martins and probably Walmart, I think.
Harris Teeter was holding it for a while.
But yeah, so that's because you're going to learn all the other personal things about
(03:26):
me.
So I love that.
Well, I might have to look for the sauce.
Yeah.
Not know the Italian background.
And we are doing for the first time my sister's hosting Christmas Eve and we're doing seven
fishes.
I guess an Italian thing.
So you will smell for seven days after.
Oh, well, we're doing it at her house, so yay.
Yeah, that's the thing in our family too.
(03:48):
We always were like, whoever hosts that night, let them host it.
And it's such a good night.
I love the seven fishes.
Well, when we're done, you might have to give me some suggestions and ideas.
So she just sent an invite.
I'm not sure what we're doing, but I think it'll be fun.
Huge missions.
Yeah, you want to bring an outfit that you can put over, an outfit, and then you take
(04:08):
that off.
Okay.
Good tips.
So love that.
And I love that you said community, involvement, and hope.
Community belonging and hope.
Belonging, even better.
And that's really what I am about and love all those.
So all right, what does courage mean to you, Tom?
Courage to me means, it means vulnerability.
(04:33):
It means that you're not afraid to reach deep inside of what is vulnerable inside of yourself.
Where your darkest thoughts, your dreams, the part of yourself that you have some fear about,
(04:53):
where loneliness resides, where there's a hole, where you dig inside of that part of
yourself to make a difference in the world for others.
And I think anybody that has, the people I admire very much in my life who have had courage,
(05:13):
so many people either faced with some sort of trauma.
And we both, I'm sure you and I both have tons of friends, either cancer survivors or
something is going on or a car wreck.
And our life is so fragile right now, our lives.
And there's so much chaos going on that I think it's the best time to be courageous and
(05:37):
it's a really hard time to be courageous.
And so I learned courage a long time ago when I learned that I would have to dig inside
to really find who I am and then to see what I could dig up, what I could excavate from
myself to go out and help other people.
(05:58):
That's my, that's sort of the definition I see.
And we can just stop now because that's an, oh my goodness, I love that.
And so true.
And I was just listening to a podcast and I said, talk about loneliness and that's just
something that has hit my heart so hard that people are so lonely and our world is upside
down and we're just talking about a situation.
(06:19):
We're not going to go into the situation right now because hopefully by the time somebody
listens to this or 20 years from now when you listen to this, it's a matter.
So we're not going into it, but I think you said, yeah, this world is upside down.
It is upside down and loneliness is obviously more in a crisis.
And that's, so when you are mission here at a place to be community, belonging and hope,
(06:45):
belonging that middle word is so important.
And there are studies that have been done now on, you know, what is belonging, how a
person's life is forever changed when they belong to something.
And at the end of the day, Leslie, that's all we're trying to do.
We're trying to wake up in the morning and belong to something.
And that is something we are extremely, we're very passionate about here that everybody
(07:11):
that walks through our doors here at a place to be feels like they belong.
Well, I think the whole belonging thing, it's the connections to like, if you can find that
mutual connection, that was something my dad was brilliant about, like getting to know
people asking questions.
Like, can you find that mutual connection?
Like I went immediately when we first met, you told me you grew up in Altoona.
(07:32):
I'm like, oh, we drove past Altoona, you know, I stopped at McDonald's or, you know, nothing
more than drive through, but a media life out connected to you.
Hopefully not McDonald's.
Get that.
It's in the news.
So, but yeah, we'd stop there on the way to go skiing.
And but that was immediate connection.
Yeah, you went to Blue Knob, right?
(07:53):
Yeah.
Did you ski there?
Yeah.
Well, no, I was not a skier.
I went there with I went there with friends to watch them ski.
Okay.
So yeah, our good friends of our family owned those mountains.
Okay.
So that's exactly I mean, connection is it right?
And that is what we are missing.
(08:14):
Right.
And if you can find that connection, you went to the same school you even if it was
20, 100 years apart, you find that connection.
And I think once you can find that you build that trust with people.
Totally.
And so, and you feel like you belong, which is exactly.
And something that connects, you know, and that's the thing that we're having a problem
(08:34):
with in the world right now is, right?
How do you connect to other people?
And people are shut down.
A lot of people are shut down.
A lot of people don't know how to connect.
And when you work with the populations we work with, which you know very well, if you're
in a minority, if you're in the world of disability, connections are hard.
(08:57):
Try being in a wheelchair and how isolated you feel most of your day anyway, or autism
that has trouble communicating.
So what we do here is the moment you walk in, we want you to feel like, you know, without
the religion, you're at church, you're here as a community, gathering place.
(09:19):
And that's what we, that's what we hopefully do for all of our clients here and all the
performers we have here at a place to be.
And music is such an important thing.
I met somebody the other night in an event and he walked up to me, introduced himself,
so what do you do for fun?
And not what do you do to make money?
I don't, he says, I don't care about that.
I'm like, well, what I do for fun is actually a business when I talked about the podcast.
(09:43):
And he said, the reason I asked that question is he said, a couple years ago, I was in ICU
dying and I had to call my daughters and tell them, no, I'd probably never see him again.
And obviously still on the side of the earth and doing great.
But he said, ever since that moment, he's like, I've been passionate about asking questions,
getting people to know people.
And we talked about the music.
(10:04):
And he said that when people that he know, unfortunately are dying, cancer, something,
he creates a music playlist for them of their favorite music and shared that with them.
He said he had a good friend passing away and he was pretty unconscious and he played
his, their favorite song that they had as friends.
And he said he opened his eyes and so music is so powerful.
(10:24):
So I want to get into the whole place to be and how that came about, but I want to go
way back.
You told me your first why not say moment and it goes back to the starfish I always wear
and you never know who that one person that's going to make a difference.
It's going to take your life completely pivotal.
And you told me a story and I can remember it vividly when you told me where I was sitting.
(10:45):
So it was a why not say moment for me.
So share that first why not say moment that changed the trajectory of your life.
Sure.
Born and raised in Altoona, Pennsylvania in the 70s.
Very gray, dismal time in Pennsylvania in Altoona at that point.
I lived in a very crowded neighborhood.
(11:06):
My mom was very ill.
She was obese and had diabetes and a very severe heart condition.
My dad was paranoid schizophrenic.
I was an only child and my household was pretty much hell.
(11:27):
Although my mom made sure to make beautiful moments for me and I was loved.
I was loved by the rest of my family.
I was loved by the neighbors.
Around eight years old, I always fascinated about the church that was across the street
from my house.
And one of my my father being schizophrenic, one of his triggers was religion, which is
(11:50):
a very common thing for paranoid schizophrenia.
He had complete conversations with God, with the devil.
But I would hear this beautiful music pouring out of these stained glass windows across
the street at the church.
And you would hear the organ.
Every Sunday morning, every Sunday night, all week long, I'd hear the bells.
(12:15):
And at that point in my life, I slept in the living room with my mom.
I slept on one couch.
She slept on another.
My couch was up against a big window.
That's where I felt safest.
My mom felt I was safe, my dad was also abusive.
And at night, I would pull back the curtains and I would stare across the street at that
(12:35):
church and I would pray.
And as I say in my show, I used to pray to, I thought it was a radio tower because remember,
radio was really big, seven, eight, and I thought the steeple of the church was a radio
tower.
And I myself, if I live that close to a radio tower, you know, I must have amazing reception.
(12:56):
So I thought that God, God, we hear bears a little bit louder.
Love that thought process.
Yeah.
So one Sunday morning, I just, I couldn't take my house hold anymore.
I couldn't take the screaming.
I couldn't take the abuse.
And I was in my pajamas and I heard the music from across the street and I ran out as fast
(13:16):
as I could across the street.
I went up to the steps.
And at the top of the steps, this part, all of this is actually how it happened.
And this next part, sometimes people hear this next part and they think, oh, no way.
I also think there's no way this happened, but it did.
I got up to the top of the steps, the big red doors open, and there stands this Sunday
(13:39):
school teacher.
She has a three-piece skirt suit and she had a big, tall beehive and these little cat glasses.
And she asked me, what took you so long to cross the street?
We've been waiting for you.
And to this day, you know, I don't know.
(13:59):
I don't know if she saw my face in the window throughout the years, but her name was Erdine
Grissinger.
She died in her midnight.
I was going to say, she's still alive.
Oh, she, she passed away, I think it was probably about 10 years ago, but I did get to see her
before she passed away.
Wow.
And there was it.
And I walked into her Sunday school room and there was a piano.
(14:20):
The first piano I ever touched and she sat beside me and she, you know, it's kind of
cool.
I have one here.
And I played and, you know, all she had to do and oh, and she was, she played a song
for me.
And every time she'd play a song, she'd end the song with what she called a grand finale.
(14:44):
So it could even be amazing grace.
It would end like this.
Love it.
And if you're listening and not watching, he looks like somebody with a grand finale.
He's funny.
And then I stayed there with her for about eight years every Sunday.
(15:06):
I never missed.
She taught me how to play the piano.
She taught me how to sing.
She without knowing it was a music therapist.
She was music therapy to me.
And so, yeah, that's when my life was saved.
That's why not today.
And I mean, that eight year old who I was, I was like, why not today?
I'm going to cross the street and follow the music.
(15:29):
And yeah, so that's to hear that story.
So that started to directory your life obviously turned around.
She made such a difference.
And you also shared how she had food for you.
Oh, yeah.
So she also she caught on fast, you know, that I didn't really have a great home to
go back to.
(15:49):
So when Sunday school was over about 1145, she would pull out her lunch and she would
like by mistake, she packed two sandwiches and she would say like, oh, oh, my, look
at this.
I packed two sandwiches.
You should stay here.
She would ask me to water her plants.
Anything to get me to stay longer.
And I would stay all afternoon.
(16:11):
I mean, there were times I don't know, you know, that when I got older, I became head
of the youth choir.
I did shows.
I became so I had a reason to be at church from nine to nine.
Like there were nights I didn't go home until about eight or nine and I never had to come
home, which, you know, almost brings me to tears to think about how many kids, even children
(16:35):
today, they'll do anything to stay out of their home because there's something.
Yeah.
And if she didn't give me that refuge, if she didn't give me the literal sanctuary,
I know I would not be here.
I would not I would not be in my own sanctuary here.
I sit at a place to be while right across the hallway, there are two or three children
(16:57):
having music therapy.
And that that I do like every morning I wake up and I think, you know, it's about connecting
our stories.
Leslie said about connecting, right?
Like how do we make it of our lives and ourselves?
Well, people like storytellers, people like people that have a story, but everybody does.
But we have to be awake and open.
(17:19):
Like I it took me years.
It took me into my late twenties to understand the importance of how my life was saved.
Then when you find that moment when somebody opens a door for you, when somebody gives
you something that propels you into the next chapter of your life, our duty is to then
help somebody else.
There was a there was a pastor in Upperville, Virginia.
(17:42):
So I moved, went to college.
I did go to college and went to Shenandoah University to be an actor.
I went into music theater.
But then I started to teach in Middleburg, Virginia at a private school.
And that's another Godwink, you know, how did I find that job just happened to be a kid
that was in a camp that I was teaching and the headmaster came by and saw me and said,
(18:04):
Hey, do you want to be in my office tomorrow for an interview?
But there was a pastor, you know, I've now lived in Middleburg for 31 years.
This pastor passed right before I moved in.
And all I heard Leslie, the first year I started to teach in Middleburg was, Oh my, you remind
us of this pastor.
(18:24):
His name was Dick Peard.
Oh, you you're so much like Dick Peard.
Well, I found out I was honored to be compared because this man was an amazing man.
But he said one statement in a graduation speech that he gave that I use all the time.
When you find your place in this world, help others find theirs.
(18:45):
Okay, I repeat that when you find your place in this world, you find your place when you
find your place in this world, help others find theirs.
Those two sentences boil everything down to why we're here.
Now in some of us, I'm very, you know, although I grew up very poor, there was abuse in my
(19:09):
house.
I'm going to tell you, I was still privileged.
I was privileged because I had love around me.
I had teachers.
I had mentors.
I had I had the church.
I had God, whatever.
And I believe in, I believe in everything.
But whatever God I was told, I kind of created in my head, you know, I had to create him,
(19:30):
you know, when I went home, because you have to have something to hold on to.
And you know, it was great to hear the church's version of God.
But as I grew older, I say this in my book, God grew with me.
So my definition when I was a child was sort of, you know, it's what you're taught, what
the Bible teaches you or what somebody preaches, but as I got older, he kind of like went along
(19:55):
with me.
He kind of adapted because this all I think of God is love.
That's it.
And so, and the love guided me to this day.
And so that when I started teaching at in Middleburg, that saying just those two sentences,
when you find yourself, when you find yourself in this world, help others find theirs, that
(20:17):
was the end all for me. And that's hence where some of my service came from.
And I've always wanted to help children.
This is something I think I told you about Leslie too.
And I don't share this one all the time, but I'm a very proud person to share this now
is I was also in Easter Seals until I was seven.
(20:42):
So I was in a classroom full of people that are diagnosed disabled.
And I found a certificate that a schooling certificate in a shoe box that I put away
a long time ago.
And it said it was for Easter Seals.
And it said I was diagnosed with MR, which is mental retardation, because they didn't
(21:08):
have I I've always known I'm probably somewhere on the spectrum somewhere.
But I couldn't say my S's, my T's, my R's or my W's and my last name was Switzer.
So they didn't know where to put me.
And plus this energy you're seeing right now, I had that energy.
It was like a five year old.
And I wanted to create and draw and paint and dance and sing.
(21:32):
By second grade Leslie, my teachers understood me so well, you know, it's the old fashioned
school in 1978, whatever that was, you know, big old brick building, cement hallways.
My second grade teacher was so brilliant.
She knew I had ADD and ADHD.
I don't know what they called it back then.
(21:52):
And she knew I love to dance.
So my mom bought me a pair of tap shoes.
So between classes, she would let me get my tap shoes on and I would just tap myself
up and down that long hallway for like three minutes and then she'd be like, Tommy, come
on back in.
So that's what I mean.
Like I didn't have a privy life with money.
(22:14):
I didn't have a home that was safe.
I was also a fat little kid, made fun of.
But I had privilege of love.
And I think that that is when we're looking for the resilience, right?
And I know we have, we've lost a lot of the power of resilience in our world too.
(22:35):
But some people don't have that much love around them.
Some people aren't understood or hugged.
You know, we come into this place, a place to be all the time and it's like a, it's a
massive hug.
Not everybody has that.
And so that is bringing us to today.
That is where Kim Tapper, my brilliant co-founder and I, she has her own story, which is amazing
(22:56):
of how she got here.
And we're really excited to have her on the podcast as well.
Yeah.
And we have two totally different stories, but we ended up together.
We're also, we knew at one time we were like only 2% of men and women who run an organization
together and we're not married.
It's quite peculiar.
And we also, we've been best friends for 22 years and we finish each other's sentences.
(23:21):
And but we both knew that the world needed more love.
So music therapy is when I went into, she went into psychology and life coaching and
we started to see the same clients.
They go see her.
They go see me.
I write a song, we perform it.
(23:42):
And you know, our first year, Leslie was 2010.
And between the two of us, we had about 23 clients.
We kind of looked over.
Let's talk, I mean, we've talked around a place to be.
So I know there was a moment, another why not say moment where you started it, but talk
about how you started it and exactly what a place to be does and your mission.
And it is a nonprofit.
(24:02):
And what you're doing it then, I know you're changing lives and I know just talking about
all the things and I can relate the connection.
My sister Amanda, who has Down syndrome, born in 82, people asked my parents that they were
going to keep her because at that point they institutionalize many kids with Down syndrome.
That's what they do.
And so my parents are like, no, we actually have a letter and stories.
(24:25):
My dad shared about the day she was born and people are like, do you want to be in the
hospital away from the normal mothers?
And they said Amanda was going to be special.
My dad's like, I have five other kids that are special.
And so it's funny.
I was just messing with a friend the other day and Amanda was in the car and sent a message
and my friend's like, you know, Amanda just makes me smile and Amanda makes everybody
(24:47):
smile.
And the joy Amanda brings and I just went to her workplace and our old boss was there
and she's like, I miss Amanda.
Can I call her to just hang out with me and do I'm like, yes, you love that.
But yeah, so we just need that love.
And all right.
So that was a tangent.
So tell me how did a place to become about that quickly that night when I met your sister,
(25:10):
you can.
Oh yeah, you'd better.
Well, authenticity, you know, any of us that are blessed and honored enough to live or
work live with any of these individuals who maybe have autism, Down syndrome, and then
there are many hidden disabilities.
The resilience they have, the authenticity they have, we need to learn from them.
(25:36):
Yes.
And then I have all but all the bag is like one time I was with a friend and we were walking
around the lake with Amanda and Amanda's like, Oh, captain flipped over the sailboat and
they went all the way over like this was 20 some years ago.
I'm like, I mean, the things she remembers and my friends like, you know, she doesn't
have all she's not worried about where meals coming from.
She's not worried.
I mean, she does worry about some things, but she had all the crap in her head that
(25:58):
we do.
Yep, exactly.
And she can just be who she is and be honest about who she is in her feelings.
Like when my dad passed away, she was sad and she was and even to this day, it's like
I miss my dad, I'm sad and she says the things that we might not be vulnerable enough to
say.
Yeah, I would say that in Down syndrome could can be sometimes an autism, obviously, there's
(26:21):
a portal that some of these different populations live in that are very blunt, truthful, don't
have a lot of veneer and not a lot of screen, you know,
Yeah, maybe I'll call you out.
Oh, Catherine Greg too much last night.
She's, you know, and she's watching and she's paying attention on social media too.
(26:47):
She knows everything about everybody.
Oh my God.
Just kind of fun.
It gives her some fun things to do.
Yes.
All right.
So place to be how did what was that why not summary moment and how did that.
So how it came about is for 14 years I was teaching at the Hill School in Middleburg,
Virginia.
(27:07):
Yeah, but I was giving voice lessons acting lessons and I started to work with arts for
all which was called very special arts where Kelly and I have worked together.
And that was my first real in involved moment where I got to work with people with disabilities.
My first show was Cinderella.
It was this was all started in our area by an amazing woman by the name of Alice power.
(27:32):
And she wanted a new director.
I came in and to be really honest with you very unlike my days when I was six or seven
years old in Easter Seals.
I hadn't spent a lot of time with people with disabilities until this came about that night.
That cast had approximately 45 individuals, maybe 1015 will chairs in front of me.
(27:55):
I was overwhelmed.
I did not know what to do.
And then what you do.
Why not today?
I have been.
Yeah.
And I can remember Leslie, I it was at the Hill School, we're in the theater area.
I welcomed everybody and also one of my first time seeing parents with handcloths wiping
(28:16):
up their children's saliva.
Children bent over hand flapping screaming at I didn't have a lot of training.
I went into the bathroom and I looked at myself and I thought, who do you think you are?
Because for a moment I thought, I'm an actor.
I'm into theater.
(28:37):
I want to go to Broadway someday.
Like, you know, and who do you think you are?
And I can remember what I was wearing even I was wearing a white sweater.
I looked at my natural day moment.
Yeah.
And that was it.
Then I went back and I took over.
And so that started that.
And then about four years later, I was given a voice lesson to a young man who was 13.
(29:01):
His father had taken his life just weeks before.
Kid comes into a voice lesson.
He asks me to start to help him write a song that he gave me a poem about his dad.
He said, could you help me write a song?
I said, sure.
That one half hour of voice lesson went on for two hours that night.
So I knew something was happening.
(29:22):
Like I was like, oh my God, this is where I do my best, right?
And that night I was in Shenandoah University, you know, they have a professional summer
series of music theater.
And I played Horton the elephant there many times.
So that night I was playing Horton and I still am a big, I love Shenandoah Summer Music Theater
(29:48):
and I help out wherever I can.
But that night I was on a net.
If you remember the story of Horton, he tries to hatch an egg up on a nest.
I'm in an elephant outfit.
I'm on a nest.
I'm singing a beautiful song called Salah Saloo.
But it hits me and I'm watching hundreds of people who pay to watch me sing as an elephant.
And I thought about that boy all during the show.
(30:11):
I could not get the kid out of my head.
I went home and I thought, I'm a music therapist.
That's it.
And then I went back to school that next term and, you know, it's a four year program.
We are trained just like a regular therapist.
We take anatomy.
We have to, it's almost like the bar exam.
When you're done, you have to, you have to get accreditation and certified.
(30:35):
And at that time, right before that, I met Kim Tapper.
And Kim was running another nonprofit in DC at the time and she came to dance at the
Hill School.
I needed a choreographer.
We talked, we talked.
We were like, oh my God, I feel like we knew each other our whole lives.
Wow.
So then after that night of hoarding the elephant, I went back to school, but as soon as I graduated,
(31:00):
she and I opened up a place to be in 2010 and started out with 23 kids between the two
of us.
And today we sit here.
It's 275 families per week, 14 full time music therapists.
And we are a nonprofit and I unfortunately, unfortunately, spent a lot of my time right
(31:23):
now raising funds because we have never turned a child away because of financial reasons in
15 years.
But Kim and I, we both have between the two of us, this is financial aid.
We have to raise close to a million dollars a year because we are paying certified therapists
and we have been working that are living in Loudoun County.
(31:46):
So yeah, we're doing our best and everybody that works here is working because of love.
You know, they're not working here because they have great salaries.
They're working here because right before I walked in here, there's a young man here
that is nonverbal, but he's not nonverbal when he goes in there with one of our music
therapists and sings.
(32:07):
So that is one of the difference you're making.
I love it.
And I want to get involved.
We want to get a man involved.
We want to spread the word and get you support.
And I know we're recording this and it's coming out in December of 2024, but there's a couple
things coming up.
So if somebody listens to it real time, like what's going on in December of 2024 with the
(32:30):
place to be in December 2025, it'll probably be happening too.
And there's other things to get involved.
But I thought timing wise, let's share a little bit.
I can share it in the show notes too.
Like what's going on.
Okay.
So the biggest one, we have Charlie Brown Christmas.
That's this weekend.
So that's very soon.
That's Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
You can go to our website, a place to be VA like Virginia.org, a place to be VA.org.
(32:54):
But the thing I would invite everybody to is my, this is my Christmas.
It's December 22nd, Sunday, December 22nd at two o'clock.
It's at Salamander resort.
The resort is nice enough, kind enough to give us the entire ballroom.
We usually have about 300 to 400 people show up, 500 at one year.
(33:16):
And it is our concert.
And this year, the theme is vintage variety show.
If you remember the Andy Williams shows from the 60s, 70s, and it stars our children.
And keep it about 85 minutes.
So you can get in at two o'clock and you can get in your car before it gets dark.
We hand out tissues on your way in.
(33:39):
It's a very happy, happy tears, very moving experience.
Cost is nothing.
We will ask you if you want to become a donor.
We have many ways you can do that.
A one-time gift, you can become part of our Firmata circle, which is like a monthly sustainer.
That can even be at $10.
Everything goes to programming and financial aid, but you don't pay anything to come to
(34:02):
the December 22nd.
I would just say if you want to come, get there at 130 for a good seat.
And yeah, just be ready to have a good day.
So can you get tickets or you just show up?
Just show up.
Okay.
I'm going to give me a gift to my mother, so she won't listen to podcasts.
I'm like, show up.
I love it.
Leslie, that's a great idea.
(34:22):
I think that is very cool.
I think a lot of people bring people back every year.
It is like much better than the HomeMark channel.
I was going to say the HomeMark channel.
It's like the real HomeMark being right in front of you.
But one of them I created, I had somebody on the podcast a couple months ago and she talked
about a local bucket list and I've always been all about bucket lists, but I've always
(34:45):
done a holiday bucket list.
And I have my holiday bucket list of places and one of the things I think is, Middleburg
is magical at Christmas.
It is a Hallmark town kind of thing.
And so one of the things was to go there and I like to do things with my mom and sister.
So I think we might just have to come and just surprise her and definitely want to get
a man involved and other people involved.
(35:07):
Next year, Leslie, now that we know each other and our friends, my house is on the parade
route and I have parking.
So I will be there because I saw it the other day.
I'm like, oh, I wish I would have gone to that.
Yeah, you can park in my yard.
You have to get there early and you just watch it from the yard.
Well, I love that.
All right.
So we are a little longer, but this is so good.
(35:29):
Before we go though, talk about your book.
I know I heard about it when I first heard of you and you were signing copies, but tell
me about it and how we signed it.
Yeah, so there's two things connected there.
I was lucky enough to have a one man show off Broadway last year in 2023 called 20 Seconds.
So the book is called 20 Seconds.
It's only privately.
(35:51):
It's not published quite yet.
We're waiting because of the hope right now the off Broadway show 20 Seconds is being
made into a Broadway type musical with people.
Yeah, it's with it's being produced.
One of our producers is Joey Parnes, who is one from the original Jersey Boys and many,
(36:15):
many others.
I have two amazing producers here.
Ben Graham, Frank Baltz and some people would know around here is Teresa Wheeler.
She's one of the biggest philanthropists here in Loudoun County and she helped get this
show off the ground and the show is about how music saved my life.
So by spring of 2025, it will be sold on Amazon and hopefully we will be going to publishing.
(36:44):
So how do I get a copy?
You have to wait till spring of 2020.
I will give you a copy.
And if anybody really wants it, they, this is how I keep my Facebook as my blog.
Because I didn't want to do it.
So you do great things on Facebook, by the way.
Thank you.
Thomas Switzer, not Tom.
Thomas Switzer and you can go right to my Facebook.
(37:05):
I keep all place to be.
And we'll share all your show, all your contact information as show notes.
Great, great.
But yeah, and then, you know, hopefully in a theater somewhere next fall, you'll see
the show and can get your book there too.
So, so fun.
So yeah, we'll definitely share all your contact.
And when the book comes out officially, we'll have you back on the podcast.
(37:28):
That would be great.
And one of the things that I've talked about here a couple of times that I mentioned to
you, and it's kind of a Godwink passion project to me is to really have why not today be a
movement that changes people's lives.
And I read something the other day and there's actually a phrase and I don't remember exactly
what it is, but talks about how the clothes we wear, if it's got words on it, how we can
(37:50):
live our life that way and how it makes a difference in our life to give us courage to
do.
It was some organization that has t-shirts that talk about it.
That it's just not words.
Yeah, no, but so I really feel like why not today is a movement and a message that we
need to give people courage to do the things.
And so part of my passion is to partner with nonprofits that when you buy a why not today
(38:13):
swag percentage goes to nonprofits.
So we're putting that together and we'll definitely partner with you guys to raise some funds
in the future.
Wonderful.
So how would you encourage somebody else to say why not today to be brave, to be courageous,
to do the thing?
So walk across the street to the church.
I think going back to the beginning to bookend our conversation, right?
(38:36):
Courage, right?
Where do you find it?
It takes a big breath in.
It takes some silence and you have to go down here.
And inside there are where all of your childhood dreams are still alive, where all of our
childhood dreams are still alive.
And so I would say that the first thing that you do is make sure that you give yourself
(39:00):
a space and time to feel.
Because we are moving so fast, especially when it comes to around these seasonal times,
that we don't stop and feel.
And as a music therapist, I would tell you that sometimes it's silence and sometimes
it's not a feeling.
And as a music therapist, I would tell you that sometimes it's silence and sometimes
(39:22):
like you were talking about the playlist, it's putting on a song and saying, I'm going
to sit on my hands.
I'm not going to do anything but listen to this song.
There you will find your courage.
Yeah, so true.
And we don't give ourselves enough.
And my word last year was space to give myself more space.
(39:43):
And like my ideas come when I'm going for a walk, when I'm in the shower, when I get
in my car and listen to music.
And that's because during the day, I just, I fill my space with so many things and we
don't take the time.
And going back to your childhood dream, the childhood dream I remember is to be financially
in a place that I can give back and volunteer.
(40:05):
I'm with you.
Where am I going?
I'm with you.
I know.
So connecting back to my dad, I think he's definitely the belonging part, as I said,
just being, connecting, finding people.
Obviously Amanda, he was a proponent of anybody with disabilities with, you know, getting
Amanda in schools that wasn't being bussed off and making Amanda was just like anybody
(40:29):
else.
Yeah.
I think you're doing that as well.
And just, you know, he started a group home and just being able to give back.
And then he was an only child like you.
And so he surrounded himself with other people to fill his life and always did.
And our house was always full of a million people because nobody was excluded.
Well, I think that you creating what you're creating with this takes all of those pieces
(40:55):
of his legacy and then makes it your legacy.
Yes.
Keeps going, keeps rolling.
And I, you know what?
Every episode I do, I was telling somebody the other day that like sometimes it's not
easy and you know, the podcast isn't really a financial thing yet.
Yes.
But I just keep doing consistently and I'm not missing.
(41:15):
And I'm just like, you know what?
I'm just following the path that God is putting in front of me, the people I'm supposed to
meet.
And you know, we tried to connect months ago and somebody got COVID and it wasn't the
right time.
And so just following.
It's always the right time.
And I felt the same way Leslie about my one man show, right?
So I'm 52.
So it took me to 51 to get to Broadway, right?
(41:38):
I never even tried.
Like that whole world up there is a world to itself.
But what you just said about your podcast took seven years to get the show there.
I never dreamt it really would be going to off-Broadway.
I had no idea that would be, you know, on 42nd Street for six weeks, doing my mission.
And but what I did was just kept going, kept going, kept going, kept going, kept going
(42:00):
because don't give up.
Don't give up.
Just keep going.
If you, and whatever ends up, at least you're doing what you love.
Yep.
And when those coincidences happens and those Godwings and those things happen.
Rabbit.
Because you were living your life in alignment to your values.
And I'll never forget exactly where I'm standing in that dull, smaraght when I met you officially.
(42:22):
Hey.
It's gonna be a one-man thing moment in my life.
And then your sweet sister.
I mean, yeah, I'm sure we have a lot to do together and I just appreciate.
We're not done.
Hearing other people's stories too.
Thank you for putting that up into the world.
Thank you for being a guest, honored to have you on here.
And we'll share all your contact in the show notes.
(42:43):
And if anybody's listening real time and you want to go to the concert with me on the 22nd,
I'm going.
So we'll figure that out.
So share the, share the mission of why not today, everybody listening.
It's a movement.
Be courageous.
Do the things that you love.
Your little childhood dreams, the things that keep you up.
And thank you everybody for enjoying and are joining us for this inspiring journey.
(43:05):
For every day is an opportunity to take action, chase your dreams and make a difference.
So why not today and make sure you're subscribing, liking, sharing, telling other people about
the why not today message.
You can find everything you want about why not today at whynottodaypodcast.com or on
all the social and let's make a movement and remember why not today.
Thanks again, Tom.
(43:26):
Thank you.
Bye.
Bye.
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