Why Will No One Date These Guys?

Joel and Naomi wrap up Intimate Matters by talking about same-sex relationships in the 19th and 20th century (including the Wild West!),  Margaret Sanger and the contraceptive revolution, and the impact the Kinsey report had on both law and media before, during, and after its release.

If it sounds like Joel was choking back his words for 90% of the episode...that's because he was coming down from a cold and stopping ...

Joel and Naomi get back together to continue discussing Intimate Matters. In this section we talk more about community regulation of vice, how "queer" behavior was punished but also strangely tolerated by early settlers, the "duty" of sex in relationhips, how 17th century Enlightenment ideas radically changed people's perspectives on individual happiness, and how prostitution filled a social vacuum left by ...

Joel and Naomi get together to discuss a unassuming book no one has ever heard of. Yes, we continue to make smart choices that expand our audience and move us closer to careers of full-time podcasting. Go us!

We discuss Intimate Matters, a 1988 book that does an incredible job breaking down the social, political, religious, and economic factors that heavily influenced relationships, family patterns, and sexual behavior thr...

It's been 10 months since we last dropped intimate deals of our lives and lessons we've learned about the world so we felt entitled to share some stuff. Well, actually we had another episode planned but Naomi shared a completely whackadoodle travel story that derailed

Joel and Naomi chat about NYC travel to see the Pickle Guys, Joel's new and amazing podcast ideas, Naomi's recent move, and Joel's ...

Naomi and Joel get together to discuss more kink specifics including some of the kink created by different cultural periods, the kinkiest presidents, and how kink is talked about in media.

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Naomi and Joel get together to discuss the basics of kink, everything ranging from BDSM to findom to the principles surrounding consent. We also come up with some good movie ideas. The AI companies are crashing and burning and hopefully Hollywood will come crawling back to us eventually.

Phoot credit to Anna Shevts on Pexels.com

DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We&ap...

In part 3 we wrap-up our discussion of the Straight State by discussing how military regulations of homosexual behavior in the early 20th century helped shaped queer culture for decades to come. 

Find a copy of the book here.

DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestin...

In part 2 of the Straight State we discuss the links between queerness and tramp lifestyles in the 1930's, how federal work programs like the FTP and the CCC helped shape public perception of queerness, and how backlash to and support of different forms of social assistance during this era was likely due to concerns about a lack of jobs making people gay. No, seriously.

Find a copy of the book here.

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Joel and Naomi get together to discuss more queer history with this book, a guide to how US government policy in the 19th and 20th century helped shape and reinforce ideas about queerness across America. In this part we discuss Joel's half-remembered recollection of Foucault's History of Sexuality and author Margot Canaday's in-depth discussion of queer immigration policy.

Find a copy of the book here.

You may have seen some news making the rounds about a new study that claims to have objectively ranked all the US States according to how friendly they are for singles. We were skeptical of this claim and dug into the data – believe it or not, there are issues. Join us to discussing the importance of accurate variable weighing, checking the sources of one’s data, and covering up your classism a bit better. We also talk a little bit...

Joel and Naomi wrap up our discussion of this book by talking about the rise of dating apps, Joel's hot takes on Bridgerton, how queer culture was encouraged (and discouraged) by different groups,  and the weird history/development of early internet-enabled sex toys.  Joel also finds a way to squeeze in a rant about worker's rights. Go figure.

DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all for...

In part 2 we continue to discuss Samantha Cole's amazing internet history. We dig into the emergence of images and some of the initial ethical issues involved in image sharing, how early virtual smut was shared prior to images, the sectioning-off of the early tech industry, major technological innovations pushed by the early adult industry, and how early adult websites sometimes found success and how that shaped the lives of t...

Joel and Naomi get together to discuss an amazing collection of essays exploring early internet history and how that shaped, reinforced, and sometimes changed the sexuality and love lives of the earliest users. We dig into the early "SEX" Operating Systems, talk about how early forums and chat rooms changed the lives of millions, dig into the earliest attempts at internal regulation of internet content, and wrap up with a...

Jojo and NaO finish up the second part of More, digging into the juicy tidbits of the author's polyamorous relationships. Joel provides a bunch of feedback about how uncomfortable this makes him and how this whole thing seems like a weird combination of cashgrab/fetish thing/recontextualization of events/confession. One big problem with the podcast format is how poorly our quiet looks of confusion and awkward cringing translat...

Joel and Naomi touch base for a third year in a row to pull our hair out, gloat about podcast successes around the world, talk about future plans, and catch up with Giselle, Rj, and Tazmin. If your favorite scene in Wizard of OZ was the one where they see the man behind the curtain, this is the episode for you. 

All credit to Judy Collins for use of the "Send in the Clowns" backup music.

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Joel and Naomi get together to discuss the general culture around polyamory and More: A Memoir of Open Marriage by Molly Roden Winter. 

DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our email that you made a donation to fight any kind of genocide and we&ap...

Joel and Naomi catchup on how we're using our "twenty twenty door" mantra then get into a discussion about the wacky new stuff in the world of dating. We discuss TruBluu, a dating app for progressives,  Volar, a dating app where AIs go on dates for you, the philosopher Zizek's musings on sex toys, the ever-rising cost of dating apps, the rise of dating app coaches, the return of in-person meetups, and the possib...

Naomi and Joel talk about the rising tide of body image issues and some stuff that may or may not make people feel better about themselves.

Here's a gallery of what people of different body sizes look like. 

DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. S...

In this one we discuss the medical drama series The Resident, the trauma-bonding science fiction film Upstream Color, the polyamory memoir "More," the lesbian romance drama manga How Do We Relationship, the gangster/rich person drama The Gentlemen, the immigrant relationship drama Past Lives,  the Meryl Streep romcom It's Complicated, the Spiderman fanfiction comic "Spider-Sense and Sensibility," the "...