December 3, 2025 • 19 mins
I used to think if I just read one more book or listened to one more podcast, I’d finally “get it.” But all that information kept me busy instead of free. In this episode, I talk about the hidden blind spot of overconsumption—why filling your brain with recovery content isn’t the same as changing your relationship with alcohol.
I share how twenty years of drinking alongside a wellness practice taught me that awareness isn’t enough. Insight doesn’t rewire your brain—action does. I walk you through how beliefs create emotions, how rituals keep habits alive, and how to witness cravings in real time so the old story starts to lose its shine.
When we stop outsourcing our healing to the next expert or episode and start practicing curiosity in our own bodies, real freedom begins.
✨ Takeaways:
- Why “passive action” feels productive but keeps you looping
- How to plan ahead and act from compassion, not pressure
- What to do when the drinker identity starts to loosen
- Why support accelerates growth by exposing blind spots
- How to turn every slip into feedback through plan-implement-evaluate
- Learn how to say no to alcohol, deprivation free from your wild feminine self.
Imagine having weekly breakthroughs — and celebrating them without alcohol.
The 90-Day Life Renewal Challenge is an invitation into your year of clarity, self-trust, and embodied change. This is about knowing you can handle life without numbing, avoiding, or hiding. You can be sacred and do it anyway.
👉 Schedule your Clarity Call for your first breakthrough — and trust that it’s only the beginning.
Join The 90 Day Life Renewal!
A Private Holistic Coaching Program to gracefully help you move through the resistance of change, stay accountable and honor the version of you that is done waiting. What if this year, you didn’t just set a goal…but created a living plan that actually fits your energy, your values, and your season of life? Apply & schedule your clarity call with Mary here.
Download The Permission Protocol — my free 5-part mini-course — and start practicing the skills that make alcohol irrelevant on your terms.
DISCLAIMER: This podcast and its contents are not a substitute for rehabilitation, medical treatment or advice. It is for educational and inspirational purposes. I am not a therapist or doctor. The views here are expressed a personal opinion and based on first hand experience. Please consult a doctor if your mental or physical health is at risk.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (01:21):
Wild sobriety is for the woman who has outgrown
alcohol and was never meant tofollow the script.
I'm Mary Wagstaff, a holisticalcohol coach, and after 20
years of daily drinking, Ifinally made alcohol irrelevant
in my life.
And now I help women just likeyou do the same through my
proven five shifts process.
(01:41):
Welcome to Wild Sobriety,Feminine Freedom Beyond Alcohol.
Hi, in today's video, you aregoing to learn the fourth and
very important blind spot thatis secretly sabotaging your
sobriety.
And I'm going to give you thenumber one tool that you have
(02:04):
got to have in your back pocket,not only for your journey to
find freedom around alcohol, butreally for any change.
The blind spot that is secretlykeeping you stuck is
consumption.
And it's not consuming alcohol.
Of course, we know that that ispart of what's keeping you
(02:26):
stuck, but more than anything,it's the overconsuming of tools.
It's the overconsuming of maybeeven potentially this video that
you keep learning more, butyou're not really actually
applying the tools that you'relearning.
You're kind of in this place offeeling good, feeling positive,
feeling motivated, but it'sreally a false sense of being
(02:51):
productive.
And what I've heard this calledbefore is passive action.
We're taking action towards whatwe think is our goal, but it's
passive.
There's no real risk, there's noreal emotions or failure that we
have to experience.
And I hate to be the bad, thebearer of bad news, but the
(03:12):
number one thing, and when we doit with support and evaluation,
when we plan, implement, andevaluate, which is what I do in
my one-on-one coachingmentorship, is we learn how to
fail forward.
The only way to really getunstuck from the mindset that
you have created around alcoholand really your identity around
(03:33):
it is to get curious, is to keepasking the question always and
forever, what don't I know?
So if you take a step back andyou think, wow, I'm one person
on a planet of eight billionpeople, your the sum of your
learned experiences and what hascreated your beliefs is a
(03:54):
fraction, dust of sand comparedto everything else that's
happening, everything elsethat's ever happened, everything
else that will happen,everything that's happened
before this moment, beforeyou're even alive.
So there are so many differentperspectives.
There are so many things that wedon't know.
And when we go out to try andconsume, we really lose sight, I
(04:18):
believe, of the process offeminine sobriety, which is
amplifying our intuition, whichis turning on and turning up
that small voice inside of youright now that is the whisper
that this just isn't working.
I forgot to mention, if wehaven't met yet, my name is Mary
Wagstaff.
I'm a holistic alcohol coach forwomen.
(04:40):
And for over five years now, Ihave been guiding women on this
journey to find feminine freedomfrom alcohol.
And I'm here now on YouTubesharing this with you.
And I couldn't be more thrilled.
And the biggest part of myexpertise comes from this lived
experience.
I lived a parallel life as awellness practitioner and a yogi
for 20 years, as well as a dailydrinker.
(05:01):
And through the lens ofobservation and curiosity, I was
able to create what I call thefive shifts process, which is
what I'm sharing you right now,that we shift from this place of
consumption and confusion into aplace of curiosity.
And curiosity means actuallytaking massive action.
We have to just be willing toshow up to say, okay, what's
(05:24):
possible?
Let's just see how this goes.
And you can assess, you know,through the process of coaching,
that's what we do.
What's your biggest fear?
How is that not true?
What are the chances of thatactually happening?
And even if it did happen, whatdo you do then?
So we actually answer thequestions that a lot of
overconsumption keeps you inconfusion about.
(05:46):
It just has you regurgitatingother people's experiences and
other people's stories.
And the only way to actuallystart to build a new mindset and
new pathways in your brain,because the pathways of
addiction, the pathways ofsubstance use are very strong.
Not only are they intertwinedwith all of our beliefs that are
(06:07):
these deep grooves in our brain,but the alcohol itself and any
substance that you would consumethat reinforces, has a positive
reinforcement, is going tostrengthen those grooves in our
brain, right?
So there might be some weeds inthe way, there might be some
sticks.
But if we slow down and we usethe process of the feminine way
and feminine sobriety that Iteach my clients, we can
(06:29):
actually know that there's norush.
Because when we stay in thisplace of inaction and in
confusion and overconsumption,we don't really make any headway
because we have to be willing totrip over those logs to know
that it's actually there.
And so we can pick it up andlook at it and say, oh, well,
what was this stick?
Chances are it was just an oldlimiting belief that you get to
(06:53):
get curious about, you get toexplore, you get to unpack, and
you get to rewrite a new storyabout, and you get to just set
it to the side.
So addiction can really put onthe blinders of what's possible
for us because it reallythreatens everything that we
(07:13):
know to be true in so many ways.
It's kind of like the top getsblown wide open and it's a bit
blindsiding when you have, youknow, for me and for all of my
clients, it's like this is theway that I functioned in the
world.
This is part of my identity.
And when the tables turn and youstart to really believe another
(07:36):
new truth, you realize, oh mygosh, everything that I thought
was true isn't true.
What else?
What else is there?
So there's gotta be a newperspective, or I would be
getting the results I want.
So the writing is right there.
And if you go back to the otherblind spots about shame, we know
that doesn't work.
We can only so know so much, andwe come back to that.
(07:59):
My experience is only the summedsum of my lived life, right?
My perspective, my knowledge isthe sum of my lived experiences.
That's it.
And until we're willing to checkout and see through the lens of
other experiences, we just don'tknow.
It's limiting.
How can we know?
There's so many experiences andways of life we will never ever
(08:22):
know.
Best of intentions, and there'sa whole process that I take my
clients through of planningahead of time, literally is
solid gold.
It will give you so much moreevidence, so much more
knowledge, such a biggerperspective than just not
drinking alone.
You could have 365 days of justnot drinking.
(08:45):
And some of you have probablybeen there and nothing has
really changed.
The entire time you were wantingalcohol, you were craving it,
you were being deprived.
And you could have a couple bigexperiences of putting yourself
out there, watching the wholeprocess of even yourself
drinking, because we can stepinto a place of witnessing
(09:05):
ourselves drinking, beingcurious about the process.
Do I even like this?
What's the smell?
What's the taste?
We can really dive intosomething we've completely just
has been habitual that we neveractually even examined, and
really answer the questions andcompletely have a whole new
perspective about something thatyou told yourself you really
(09:26):
enjoyed.
And when you ask yourself, well,what about this experience did I
really enjoy while you're doingit?
It really loses its luster.
It really loses impact becauseour beliefs create our emotions.
And so if we're only having ourexperience based on beliefs that
just are fulfilling the habit ofdrinking and not beliefs on the
(09:49):
that are fulfilling our our truedesires away from alcohol, then
we're gonna, we're just gonnaconvince ourselves that this is
what we love, this is what wewant.
And this is a part of denial.
This is a part of the journeywhere we're just overconsuming
and thinking that we can do iton our own.
(10:10):
And you are so capable ofstepping into a bigger place of
awareness.
But the part that is challengingwhen you try to do it on your
own is that you never have athird-party perspective.
You never have someone elsesaying, Hey, what about this?
(10:30):
And that's really the power ofcoaching is that from a neutral
place full of love andcompassion and complete belief
in your ability to change, it'slike when you have a friend that
you see making the same mistakeover and over again.
They keep dating the same kindof person and going, like, why
do I do this?
Right.
And you just want to shake them.
This is what happens when youstep into a coaching program,
(10:54):
whether that's just even througha course or a new perspective,
but you're actually doing thework because my course, the
sobriety starter kit, has all ofthese questions for inquiry that
help you go deeper.
It has ways of taking action outin the world.
And of course, when I workone-on-one with my clients, we
don't really try to change thecircumstances.
(11:17):
We actually change the mindsetand the behavior.
And while honoring your owncyclical nature.
So it's really important thatyou understand overconsumption
can be a place that you can getstuck in for years.
Now, everyone's journey is sodifferent, and that's the other
place of curiosity that youreally have to step into when it
(11:42):
comes to getting support, iswhat is it actually gonna take
for me to make this change?
I think we can underestimate.
And there's another video that Iwill have about really the
spectrum of addiction, thespectrum of sobriety, too,
because it is all over the placeand it has it's based on so many
(12:04):
factors.
So for yourself, and this is apersonalized approach I take
with my clients, you have to bereally willing to ask yourself,
what is it gonna take for me tomake this a long-term
commitment?
And that was one of the otherblind spots.
We're not just quitting, we'recommitting.
And what is that really going tolook like?
(12:25):
And that is a place where youneed to be willing to be really
honest with yourself.
And it doesn't mean that youhave to have a coach forever or
go to meetings forever, butthere is a deeper connection to
yourself that you have tocreate, a commitment that you're
willing to create in somecapacity.
And looking at all the areas ofyour life, we have to be willing
(12:47):
to look at that.
We have to be willing to cleanup our side of the street in all
of these areas for us to reallyhave that groundedness to know
that there's not even whatcircumstance would really
trigger me to drink again and tobe able to future focus because
each season is gonna have itsown set of thoughts, its own set
(13:09):
of beliefs, and its own set ofcircumstances.
And you really want to setyourself up for success because
you're putting all this work in.
I don't believe any time withoutalcohol is ever wasted or any
time even searching.
And so I want to say that Idon't believe by you being here
now or reading a quitlet book orlistening to podcasts is a waste
(13:29):
of time, but it's keeping you inthe cycle instead of getting out
into your life and living yourlife.
It's keeping you stuck in thealcohol story.
And what I want you to do is togo out and use your heart and
your intuition and yourheartfelt intention and get
really curious about yourbeliefs and trying to disprove
(13:51):
them.
Without the embodied action andthe evidence and the massive
action out in the world in yourlife, it's not going to stick.
You're gonna go back into thatfight or flight mode.
You're gonna fall back into thatrut in your brain the second
that you're triggered, thesecond that something stressful
comes up or there's acelebration.
(14:12):
There's, I call it the get outof jail free card.
You have to really dig deep forwhat's that sneaky little
objection that's gonna belurking around the corner
waiting for me.
And you have to be willing to dothat ahead of time.
That really is truly what'spossible for you on the other
side in this journey of wildsobriety.
(14:34):
And what I mean by that is it isyour birthright, your wild
essence, your truest nature tobe in the pleasure that it is to
be human, even through all ofthe pain, through all of the
heartache, and through all ofthe challenge, because we cannot
ascend to higher states ofevolution without the descent.
(14:55):
It would not work.
We wouldn't appreciate it, andit would be like receiving
something that we didn't earn.
Now, I don't believe that wehave to pay to, we don't have to
pay a price to live a life ofhappiness and harmony, but we do
have to have contrast in orderto do so.
The real freedom comes fromtesting, practicing, failing,
(15:20):
and learning.
It really is the process ofevaluation, implementation, and
creating a plan for yourself.
And this is where the realfreedom lives.
And you will have this processand these tools to do again and
again and again in every singlearea of your life.
But the cool part is that you'reactually planting seeds.
(15:42):
And I was just reflecting onsome heartache that I had many,
many years ago in my late 20s,and how I always said have said
it was the best work I ever didfor myself because there was
points of begging and pleading,and how could you do this?
And I didn't see it coming.
And it was, I was completelyblindsided by it.
But I did the deep work ofsitting with my emotions and
(16:06):
letting them move through me,really witnessing them, really
feeling them, really validatingthis in this embodiment and this
somatic practice is somethingthat I do with my clients so
that they can really have thatfelt experience of honoring
their emotions, the thing wethink we're gonna solve when the
person says, I see you, Iforgive you, I'll fight for you,
(16:28):
or I'm sorry, or the thing wethink that's gonna solve when we
have that drink, right?
And oftentimes we have thatdrink because we're waiting for
that person to solve the problemfor us, right?
And what I want you to know isno one's coming to save you.
There are is support that youhave, and you have the divine
that you are connected to, butthis journey is yours and yours
(16:49):
alone.
And when we do that deep work ofreally owning it and honoring
it, it's like we own it, we winit.
It's ours.
And since that point in my life,I believe that was such I was
drinking at the time.
And I believe though, eventhough I was still drinking, I
was doing the work during theday, feeling my feels.
(17:10):
And I really believe that didplant seeds that helped me move
through my journey of sobrietywith greater ease.
And now I'm kind of in a stateof heartache again.
And something that I'll besharing more on our channel is
I've really recently steppedinto a place of kind of being on
the other side of addiction in aplace where I wasn't ever
(17:32):
before.
And I had had some, seen someaddiction in my life, but uh
never as an adult really wassomeone that's near and dear to
my heart and being so close andbeing on the other side of the
depths of what can really happento an addicted mind that you
know I didn't necessarily haveto go through, and a lot of my
(17:52):
clients did don't necessarilyhave to go through, although we
all do go through phases ofdenial, painful, or at least to
move through each challenge withmore grace.
If you are taking something awayfrom this, I would love for you
to subscribe to my channel, likethis video, share, and please
check out the rest of thisseries.
Also, if you are wanting to godeeper in your journey of
(18:15):
sobriety, in the there are many,many resources in the comments
below.
And I would love to hear fromyou.
So please leave a comment.
I will answer each and everysingle one.
And I want to make content toserve you.
So please let me know whatquestions you have, how I can
serve, and we will start doinglive streams very soon.
(18:37):
And there will also be aninvitation to a community where
we can come and gather and be ina group setting to share.
So I wish you such a beautifulday, and I'll talk to you soon.
As a thank you for being such animportant part of this podcast,
I want to gift you my brand newfree mini course, The Permission
(18:59):
Protocol.
It is a five-part journey tohelp you rethink everything you
believe about the pleasure thatis possible in sobriety and the
radical freedom that is requiredto get to the other side.
And it's available for you rightnow inside of my free wild
sobriety community where we canhang out, support one another,
and grow by honoring ourauthentic expression as women.
(19:23):
Everything you need is righthere in the description.
I will see you inside of thecommunity.
Wild sobriety is for the woman who has outgrown
alcohol and was never meant tofollow the script.
I'm Mary Wagstaff, a holisticalcohol coach, and after 20
years of daily drinking, Ifinally made alcohol irrelevant
in my life.
And now I help women just likeyou do the same through my
proven five shifts process.
(01:41):
Welcome to Wild Sobriety,Feminine Freedom Beyond Alcohol.
Hi, in today's video, you aregoing to learn the fourth and
very important blind spot thatis secretly sabotaging your
sobriety.
And I'm going to give you thenumber one tool that you have
(02:04):
got to have in your back pocket,not only for your journey to
find freedom around alcohol, butreally for any change.
The blind spot that is secretlykeeping you stuck is
consumption.
And it's not consuming alcohol.
Of course, we know that that ispart of what's keeping you
(02:26):
stuck, but more than anything,it's the overconsuming of tools.
It's the overconsuming of maybeeven potentially this video that
you keep learning more, butyou're not really actually
applying the tools that you'relearning.
You're kind of in this place offeeling good, feeling positive,
feeling motivated, but it'sreally a false sense of being
(02:51):
productive.
And what I've heard this calledbefore is passive action.
We're taking action towards whatwe think is our goal, but it's
passive.
There's no real risk, there's noreal emotions or failure that we
have to experience.
And I hate to be the bad, thebearer of bad news, but the
(03:12):
number one thing, and when we doit with support and evaluation,
when we plan, implement, andevaluate, which is what I do in
my one-on-one coachingmentorship, is we learn how to
fail forward.
The only way to really getunstuck from the mindset that
you have created around alcoholand really your identity around
(03:33):
it is to get curious, is to keepasking the question always and
forever, what don't I know?
So if you take a step back andyou think, wow, I'm one person
on a planet of eight billionpeople, your the sum of your
learned experiences and what hascreated your beliefs is a
(03:54):
fraction, dust of sand comparedto everything else that's
happening, everything elsethat's ever happened, everything
else that will happen,everything that's happened
before this moment, beforeyou're even alive.
So there are so many differentperspectives.
There are so many things that wedon't know.
And when we go out to try andconsume, we really lose sight, I
(04:18):
believe, of the process offeminine sobriety, which is
amplifying our intuition, whichis turning on and turning up
that small voice inside of youright now that is the whisper
that this just isn't working.
I forgot to mention, if wehaven't met yet, my name is Mary
Wagstaff.
I'm a holistic alcohol coach forwomen.
(04:40):
And for over five years now, Ihave been guiding women on this
journey to find feminine freedomfrom alcohol.
And I'm here now on YouTubesharing this with you.
And I couldn't be more thrilled.
And the biggest part of myexpertise comes from this lived
experience.
I lived a parallel life as awellness practitioner and a yogi
for 20 years, as well as a dailydrinker.
(05:01):
And through the lens ofobservation and curiosity, I was
able to create what I call thefive shifts process, which is
what I'm sharing you right now,that we shift from this place of
consumption and confusion into aplace of curiosity.
And curiosity means actuallytaking massive action.
We have to just be willing toshow up to say, okay, what's
(05:24):
possible?
Let's just see how this goes.
And you can assess, you know,through the process of coaching,
that's what we do.
What's your biggest fear?
How is that not true?
What are the chances of thatactually happening?
And even if it did happen, whatdo you do then?
So we actually answer thequestions that a lot of
overconsumption keeps you inconfusion about.
(05:46):
It just has you regurgitatingother people's experiences and
other people's stories.
And the only way to actuallystart to build a new mindset and
new pathways in your brain,because the pathways of
addiction, the pathways ofsubstance use are very strong.
Not only are they intertwinedwith all of our beliefs that are
(06:07):
these deep grooves in our brain,but the alcohol itself and any
substance that you would consumethat reinforces, has a positive
reinforcement, is going tostrengthen those grooves in our
brain, right?
So there might be some weeds inthe way, there might be some
sticks.
But if we slow down and we usethe process of the feminine way
and feminine sobriety that Iteach my clients, we can
(06:29):
actually know that there's norush.
Because when we stay in thisplace of inaction and in
confusion and overconsumption,we don't really make any headway
because we have to be willing totrip over those logs to know
that it's actually there.
And so we can pick it up andlook at it and say, oh, well,
what was this stick?
Chances are it was just an oldlimiting belief that you get to
(06:53):
get curious about, you get toexplore, you get to unpack, and
you get to rewrite a new storyabout, and you get to just set
it to the side.
So addiction can really put onthe blinders of what's possible
for us because it reallythreatens everything that we
(07:13):
know to be true in so many ways.
It's kind of like the top getsblown wide open and it's a bit
blindsiding when you have, youknow, for me and for all of my
clients, it's like this is theway that I functioned in the
world.
This is part of my identity.
And when the tables turn and youstart to really believe another
(07:36):
new truth, you realize, oh mygosh, everything that I thought
was true isn't true.
What else?
What else is there?
So there's gotta be a newperspective, or I would be
getting the results I want.
So the writing is right there.
And if you go back to the otherblind spots about shame, we know
that doesn't work.
We can only so know so much, andwe come back to that.
(07:59):
My experience is only the summedsum of my lived life, right?
My perspective, my knowledge isthe sum of my lived experiences.
That's it.
And until we're willing to checkout and see through the lens of
other experiences, we just don'tknow.
It's limiting.
How can we know?
There's so many experiences andways of life we will never ever
(08:22):
know.
Best of intentions, and there'sa whole process that I take my
clients through of planningahead of time, literally is
solid gold.
It will give you so much moreevidence, so much more
knowledge, such a biggerperspective than just not
drinking alone.
You could have 365 days of justnot drinking.
(08:45):
And some of you have probablybeen there and nothing has
really changed.
The entire time you were wantingalcohol, you were craving it,
you were being deprived.
And you could have a couple bigexperiences of putting yourself
out there, watching the wholeprocess of even yourself
drinking, because we can stepinto a place of witnessing
(09:05):
ourselves drinking, beingcurious about the process.
Do I even like this?
What's the smell?
What's the taste?
We can really dive intosomething we've completely just
has been habitual that we neveractually even examined, and
really answer the questions andcompletely have a whole new
perspective about something thatyou told yourself you really
(09:26):
enjoyed.
And when you ask yourself, well,what about this experience did I
really enjoy while you're doingit?
It really loses its luster.
It really loses impact becauseour beliefs create our emotions.
And so if we're only having ourexperience based on beliefs that
just are fulfilling the habit ofdrinking and not beliefs on the
(09:49):
that are fulfilling our our truedesires away from alcohol, then
we're gonna, we're just gonnaconvince ourselves that this is
what we love, this is what wewant.
And this is a part of denial.
This is a part of the journeywhere we're just overconsuming
and thinking that we can do iton our own.
(10:10):
And you are so capable ofstepping into a bigger place of
awareness.
But the part that is challengingwhen you try to do it on your
own is that you never have athird-party perspective.
You never have someone elsesaying, Hey, what about this?
(10:30):
And that's really the power ofcoaching is that from a neutral
place full of love andcompassion and complete belief
in your ability to change, it'slike when you have a friend that
you see making the same mistakeover and over again.
They keep dating the same kindof person and going, like, why
do I do this?
Right.
And you just want to shake them.
This is what happens when youstep into a coaching program,
(10:54):
whether that's just even througha course or a new perspective,
but you're actually doing thework because my course, the
sobriety starter kit, has all ofthese questions for inquiry that
help you go deeper.
It has ways of taking action outin the world.
And of course, when I workone-on-one with my clients, we
don't really try to change thecircumstances.
(11:17):
We actually change the mindsetand the behavior.
And while honoring your owncyclical nature.
So it's really important thatyou understand overconsumption
can be a place that you can getstuck in for years.
Now, everyone's journey is sodifferent, and that's the other
place of curiosity that youreally have to step into when it
(11:42):
comes to getting support, iswhat is it actually gonna take
for me to make this change?
I think we can underestimate.
And there's another video that Iwill have about really the
spectrum of addiction, thespectrum of sobriety, too,
because it is all over the placeand it has it's based on so many
(12:04):
factors.
So for yourself, and this is apersonalized approach I take
with my clients, you have to bereally willing to ask yourself,
what is it gonna take for me tomake this a long-term
commitment?
And that was one of the otherblind spots.
We're not just quitting, we'recommitting.
And what is that really going tolook like?
(12:25):
And that is a place where youneed to be willing to be really
honest with yourself.
And it doesn't mean that youhave to have a coach forever or
go to meetings forever, butthere is a deeper connection to
yourself that you have tocreate, a commitment that you're
willing to create in somecapacity.
And looking at all the areas ofyour life, we have to be willing
(12:47):
to look at that.
We have to be willing to cleanup our side of the street in all
of these areas for us to reallyhave that groundedness to know
that there's not even whatcircumstance would really
trigger me to drink again and tobe able to future focus because
each season is gonna have itsown set of thoughts, its own set
(13:09):
of beliefs, and its own set ofcircumstances.
And you really want to setyourself up for success because
you're putting all this work in.
I don't believe any time withoutalcohol is ever wasted or any
time even searching.
And so I want to say that Idon't believe by you being here
now or reading a quitlet book orlistening to podcasts is a waste
(13:29):
of time, but it's keeping you inthe cycle instead of getting out
into your life and living yourlife.
It's keeping you stuck in thealcohol story.
And what I want you to do is togo out and use your heart and
your intuition and yourheartfelt intention and get
really curious about yourbeliefs and trying to disprove
(13:51):
them.
Without the embodied action andthe evidence and the massive
action out in the world in yourlife, it's not going to stick.
You're gonna go back into thatfight or flight mode.
You're gonna fall back into thatrut in your brain the second
that you're triggered, thesecond that something stressful
comes up or there's acelebration.
(14:12):
There's, I call it the get outof jail free card.
You have to really dig deep forwhat's that sneaky little
objection that's gonna belurking around the corner
waiting for me.
And you have to be willing to dothat ahead of time.
That really is truly what'spossible for you on the other
side in this journey of wildsobriety.
(14:34):
And what I mean by that is it isyour birthright, your wild
essence, your truest nature tobe in the pleasure that it is to
be human, even through all ofthe pain, through all of the
heartache, and through all ofthe challenge, because we cannot
ascend to higher states ofevolution without the descent.
(14:55):
It would not work.
We wouldn't appreciate it, andit would be like receiving
something that we didn't earn.
Now, I don't believe that wehave to pay to, we don't have to
pay a price to live a life ofhappiness and harmony, but we do
have to have contrast in orderto do so.
The real freedom comes fromtesting, practicing, failing,
(15:20):
and learning.
It really is the process ofevaluation, implementation, and
creating a plan for yourself.
And this is where the realfreedom lives.
And you will have this processand these tools to do again and
again and again in every singlearea of your life.
But the cool part is that you'reactually planting seeds.
(15:42):
And I was just reflecting onsome heartache that I had many,
many years ago in my late 20s,and how I always said have said
it was the best work I ever didfor myself because there was
points of begging and pleading,and how could you do this?
And I didn't see it coming.
And it was, I was completelyblindsided by it.
But I did the deep work ofsitting with my emotions and
(16:06):
letting them move through me,really witnessing them, really
feeling them, really validatingthis in this embodiment and this
somatic practice is somethingthat I do with my clients so
that they can really have thatfelt experience of honoring
their emotions, the thing wethink we're gonna solve when the
person says, I see you, Iforgive you, I'll fight for you,
(16:28):
or I'm sorry, or the thing wethink that's gonna solve when we
have that drink, right?
And oftentimes we have thatdrink because we're waiting for
that person to solve the problemfor us, right?
And what I want you to know isno one's coming to save you.
There are is support that youhave, and you have the divine
that you are connected to, butthis journey is yours and yours
(16:49):
alone.
And when we do that deep work ofreally owning it and honoring
it, it's like we own it, we winit.
It's ours.
And since that point in my life,I believe that was such I was
drinking at the time.
And I believe though, eventhough I was still drinking, I
was doing the work during theday, feeling my feels.
(17:10):
And I really believe that didplant seeds that helped me move
through my journey of sobrietywith greater ease.
And now I'm kind of in a stateof heartache again.
And something that I'll besharing more on our channel is
I've really recently steppedinto a place of kind of being on
the other side of addiction in aplace where I wasn't ever
(17:32):
before.
And I had had some, seen someaddiction in my life, but uh
never as an adult really wassomeone that's near and dear to
my heart and being so close andbeing on the other side of the
depths of what can really happento an addicted mind that you
know I didn't necessarily haveto go through, and a lot of my
(17:52):
clients did don't necessarilyhave to go through, although we
all do go through phases ofdenial, painful, or at least to
move through each challenge withmore grace.
If you are taking something awayfrom this, I would love for you
to subscribe to my channel, likethis video, share, and please
check out the rest of thisseries.
Also, if you are wanting to godeeper in your journey of
(18:15):
sobriety, in the there are many,many resources in the comments
below.
And I would love to hear fromyou.
So please leave a comment.
I will answer each and everysingle one.
And I want to make content toserve you.
So please let me know whatquestions you have, how I can
serve, and we will start doinglive streams very soon.
(18:37):
And there will also be aninvitation to a community where
we can come and gather and be ina group setting to share.
So I wish you such a beautifulday, and I'll talk to you soon.
As a thank you for being such animportant part of this podcast,
I want to gift you my brand newfree mini course, The Permission
(18:59):
Protocol.
It is a five-part journey tohelp you rethink everything you
believe about the pleasure thatis possible in sobriety and the
radical freedom that is requiredto get to the other side.
And it's available for you rightnow inside of my free wild
sobriety community where we canhang out, support one another,
and grow by honoring ourauthentic expression as women.
(19:23):
Everything you need is righthere in the description.
I will see you inside of thecommunity.
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