October 13, 2023 • 17 mins
In this pilot episode-trailer, I, Kai J. Lee, share the "ah-ha" moment of this podcast in the Spring of 2021 during a camping trip with an old friend outside of Los Angeles in southern California, and the months and years that followed of its shaping and materialization.
Next up - our first full episode with guest and dear friend, Mariana Jimenez Moreno.
-
Wilderness Within (WW) is made possible due to the ongoing financial support of patreon supporters (https://patreon.com/subtledream). We are big fans of the value-driven, pay-it-forward model, and the reason why you won't hear razor subscriptions or VPN discounts offered is thanks to the supporters who pitch in each month. Besides becoming a patron, some of the best ways to support this podcast is to share this episode or show with a friend, and to rate WW on Spotify, Apple, or your favourite listening platform. Whatever you are able to do, thank you! Follow & engage @wildernesswithinpod on Instagram.
A shoutout to Melissa Carter for her editing & production magic. Special thanks to Scott Hanson & Carlos Militante for the WW soundtrack and logo. Gratitude to the following humans - Paul J., Antoine M., Aiyana B., Deborah C., Rene D., Luke F., Kelly P., Carina F., Kelsea L., Khen R., Kelsey Y., Michael C., Evan S., Kristine S., Lindsay C., Anne G., Yu Shan C., Otis S. Steven T., Steven M., Steph P., Anna W., Camila N., Dana W., Naira d. G., Dora L., Orion H., Michelle K., Steven W., Jackie C. S., Romar S., Peter W., Jacky C., Tsetop S., Frankie L., Jim B. Lisa C., Marek B., Mikey L., Alex A., and more past & present patrons - in making this dream come true!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I remember the day pretty well.
(00:09):
It was the 25th of March, 2021.
Typically in Southern California where I was at the time, it'd be warming up with beautiful
signs of spring and pretty temperate warm days and cool nights.
It'd be really perfect as the days get longer and the night gets shorter to go out there
(00:33):
and enjoy some spring weather.
But this was not the case that particular week.
In fact, the night of the 25th of March was the coldest night of the entire week, if not
the month.
And it just so happens that my friend Ryan and I decided to go camping that particular
evening with his dog Richard.
(00:55):
Ryan and I hadn't seen each other for years because he had been living in Taiwan at the
time.
Previous time we had gotten to see each other was in 2016.
So it had been some years and we knew that it was going to be a good catch up and way
to get out of the city.
Especially knowing at a time with the COVID restrictions and lockdown and the sense of
(01:18):
fear and concerns about health, we also took precautions even though we were able to get
out to mask up when we're in the car together, but still have the spaciousness outdoors to
really roam and explore and just be with the elements.
Even though it was going to be a colder night, we brought firewood and plenty of hot drinks
(01:41):
and good foods to keep our bellies and bodies warm and also enough wood for keeping a fire
alive.
It just so happens that the campsite that we chose near Ojai, California had plenty
of downed branches next to the campsite.
So we're able to build a fire and keep it going for a long time.
(02:04):
It was on this very night that I remember sitting down and feeling really accomplished
building a fire and defrosting my hands and my face and just feeling really, really good
about being outside and not being trapped or the feeling of being trapped inside a four
(02:24):
walled box.
The cabin fever was real with COVID and all the uncertainties that are happening in the
world.
And I was really happy to be able to spend time with an old friend looking at the clouds
and watching the stars come out a little bit and just the dance of the light as the sun
sets and rose in the morning.
(02:46):
Well, something really remarkable happened that night, which was this really profound
and powerful realization later in the evening could have been after Ryan and Richard had
gone to bed and I continued to stick around a fire and didn't want to sleep.
I had this powerful and profound realization that really almost anyone that I need to lean
(03:13):
into to get advice from, to collaborate with are already in my own network.
And if they're not first degree connection, certainly they are very likely within a second
degree connection.
People who I call friends are really my Avengers team, the all star team that's necessary to
(03:36):
make nearly any of my dreams come true.
I think what has helped me back is my own fears and insecurities for really leaning
out on a limb and really creating the framework to make something happen.
And I sat with this thought for hours as I fed the fire and went back and forth to look
(03:58):
for wood, keeping the fire going.
And I couldn't shake this incredible sensation within me that something really big was about
to sprout, something really devotional was about to come forth for me to pay attention
to and really put some work and time into it.
(04:21):
By dawn, as the first light lit up the dark sky, taking it from mixture of clouds and
bits of sparkle of stars to this gray, blue and purple turning into an orange and pink.
This new emerging project would take form in a shape of deep dives with some of my most
(04:45):
inspirational friends.
And these conversations, which are made of stories of their tribulations, their challenges,
their successes and lifetime of stories would shape into an incredible podcast.
And so here we are in September of 2023.
I have now recorded 15 conversations with friends who I would go as far as saying family.
(05:12):
And it's been an absolutely enlightening and expansive experience for me and hopefully
for them as well.
I present you The Wilderness Within.
(05:42):
Earlier in 2021, I had multiple conversations with friends who are artists, musicians and
podcast hosts themselves.
And it really helped me have multiple soundboards throughout the months to make sense of this
sprout that was happening within me.
(06:03):
And the name Wilderness Within took form through multiple conversations and additional camping
trips that seems to be a theme in my life.
I get a lot of great ideas as I'm moving outside and being surrounded by nature.
And just as the name subtle dream for those of you who have known me for a number of years,
(06:27):
that name came about decades ago when I was actually in high school, maybe story for different
time.
I still find it to be really beautiful and fitting.
And I think that Wilderness Within will stick around and be timeless in a sense.
I remember in the very last hours of 2021, I put together all of the ideas and inspirations
(06:50):
into one long email and invitation.
I sent it out to the 20 some hopeful guests.
And yeah, the response was pretty remarkable.
In the first few months of 2022, I planned and got to visit three friends in southern
(07:13):
Mexico and coastal Ecuador for these very first recordings.
And I'm happy to say that those would be also the first three podcasts to be released in
the coming weeks.
And since then, I've been able to record 13 more conversations and there's more coming
down to pipe.
(07:33):
It feels very fitting to have this global network of humans that I respect and adore.
And I've had a lot of fun being able to travel to them, to their home and talk to them face
to face in person.
(07:55):
I have not yet explored recording a podcast through the internet, although I think that
time will come in the coming months and years.
I'm just really happy and feeling very privileged that I've been able to do all of the recordings
so far in person.
And it just gives me an excuse to visit these wonderful people and see the home and space
(08:19):
that they have built or call home.
And yeah, I believe what sets this podcast apart from the thousands and thousands of
podcasts out there, or even projects that I've embarked on is the simple yet incredible
fact that I'm going to start for now by interviewing only people that I have a direct connection
(08:40):
with.
And through the past decade, decade plus of trotting globally and living nomadically,
spending time in communities of different interests and intersectionalities, all of
that has brought me in contact with a really diverse set of quality humans and the depth
(09:04):
and the diverse stories that they hold and shared with me really reflect that.
Yeah, the task to choose the initial guess was not easy or simple, but it has been done.
And I think there's a lot of excitement because of the diversity that exists.
I also really want to leverage this platform to share some of my own experiences and stories,
(09:29):
whether during conversations with guests or in future solo episodes.
I'm going to lean into my Patreon community and at times my social media to formulate
topics and questions around that.
And yeah, I hope that you all will take part and direct message me and email me with feedback
(09:51):
and maybe even criticism of the constructive type.
I love to take anything and everything to improve and polish the projects.
And I'm sure that it'll evolve as the months and years go by.
I'm extremely grateful that you're here, that you choose to spend time listening to
(10:12):
what I and my wonderful friends have to share.
And yeah, I'm looking at this collage of the humans I've gotten to record with so
far and it just brings a big smile to my face.
(10:50):
For those of you who are subscribed to my newsletter that I've been putting out since
early 2021, thank you for being on there.
I will leverage the newsletter to continue to share global good news and original content
and I think internet gems that I find extremely valuable every other month.
(11:13):
I will also utilize the newsletter to announce new episodes.
And of course, you will find these episodes on your favorite podcasts, apps, and channels.
The original soundtrack that you listen to is a huge thanks to my good friends, brothers
(11:34):
Scott Hansen and Carlos Milatante.
Thank you so much you guys for creating such beautiful sounds that really evoke emotion
and allow us to sit with the learnings and teachings and realizations, reflections during
these conversations.
Besides drawing from the wellspring that is within me, this podcast is made possible thanks
(12:00):
to the financial contributions of my Patreon supporters.
For those of you who are unaware of what Patreon is, it is a platform that I've been leaning
into for the last five years since 2018 to have fans and supporters of what I do and
the projects that I put out for them to be able to financially pitch in per month or
(12:24):
per year.
This really allows me to have a consistently reliably predictable side income to offset
any costs that projects like this podcast induce.
And it has been an invaluable way for me to feel really supported and to reconnect with
(12:48):
a number of you.
And so I thank you for all of the past and current Patreon subscribers and allowing me
to financially make this happen.
And if you're curious, head over to patreon.com slash subtle dream to find out how you can
perhaps pitch in and continue to make this a reality for me, for you, for all of us.
(13:14):
Thank you so much for considering.
In addition to making this podcast a reality, my Patreon subscribers also allow the newsletter
to happen and moments when I support other individuals and nonprofits and NGOs from telling
(13:35):
their stories through media.
And this is something that I've offered pro bono for a number of years.
And I really think that those extra few hundred bucks each month really allow me to go at
ease and buying some equipment here and there to offer free pro bono services to people
that I find that really make our earth a better place.
(13:58):
And some of the projects and communities I've supported in the past include a beacon food
for us in Seattle, Washington, conscious impact in the lower Himalayas of Nepal and many,
many more.
One of the perks as a Patreon subscriber is the ability to see additional post, which
includes additional media that I share with each newsletter, some behind the scenes and
(14:25):
thoughts and reflections.
And in the future, as I finally set up my print store, discounts for prints.
(14:52):
One of the incredible benefits in doing the recordings and conversations with my friends
is that we've gotten to deepen our connection with one another.
There's been so many gaps in their life story that's been filled because we sit down and
have an intentional dedicated conversation about one another.
(15:15):
And I get really curious and the curiosity has really gotten me to appreciate all of
these friends even more.
The context in which they grew up with, the maybe culture way of thinking and being that
they were surrounded by when they were growing up, just little details that really add to
(15:36):
the perspective of not just my world, but my understanding of who they are and how they've
shaped to be.
Now this includes their coming of age, as I just mentioned, challenges and failures,
the way in which they have maybe failed and tripped, but ultimately how they've gotten
(15:57):
back up on their own two feet, whether it's metaphorically or literally.
I think some of these conversations have allowed me to reflect on aspects of my life where
I feel I've gotten stuck or that maybe I can improve.
And so really, I see this as a symbiotically mutually beneficial conversation.
(16:22):
And I can confidently say a year and a half, two years into it, this is something very
important that I intend on doing for a while.
(16:51):
A special thank you to Melissa Katelyn in editing this podcast and working her creative
magic in polishing up all of these recordings into the way that you listen to them.
Thank you, Melissa.
I remember the day pretty well.
(00:09):
It was the 25th of March, 2021.
Typically in Southern California where I was at the time, it'd be warming up with beautiful
signs of spring and pretty temperate warm days and cool nights.
It'd be really perfect as the days get longer and the night gets shorter to go out there
(00:33):
and enjoy some spring weather.
But this was not the case that particular week.
In fact, the night of the 25th of March was the coldest night of the entire week, if not
the month.
And it just so happens that my friend Ryan and I decided to go camping that particular
evening with his dog Richard.
(00:55):
Ryan and I hadn't seen each other for years because he had been living in Taiwan at the
time.
Previous time we had gotten to see each other was in 2016.
So it had been some years and we knew that it was going to be a good catch up and way
to get out of the city.
Especially knowing at a time with the COVID restrictions and lockdown and the sense of
(01:18):
fear and concerns about health, we also took precautions even though we were able to get
out to mask up when we're in the car together, but still have the spaciousness outdoors to
really roam and explore and just be with the elements.
Even though it was going to be a colder night, we brought firewood and plenty of hot drinks
(01:41):
and good foods to keep our bellies and bodies warm and also enough wood for keeping a fire
alive.
It just so happens that the campsite that we chose near Ojai, California had plenty
of downed branches next to the campsite.
So we're able to build a fire and keep it going for a long time.
(02:04):
It was on this very night that I remember sitting down and feeling really accomplished
building a fire and defrosting my hands and my face and just feeling really, really good
about being outside and not being trapped or the feeling of being trapped inside a four
(02:24):
walled box.
The cabin fever was real with COVID and all the uncertainties that are happening in the
world.
And I was really happy to be able to spend time with an old friend looking at the clouds
and watching the stars come out a little bit and just the dance of the light as the sun
sets and rose in the morning.
(02:46):
Well, something really remarkable happened that night, which was this really profound
and powerful realization later in the evening could have been after Ryan and Richard had
gone to bed and I continued to stick around a fire and didn't want to sleep.
I had this powerful and profound realization that really almost anyone that I need to lean
(03:13):
into to get advice from, to collaborate with are already in my own network.
And if they're not first degree connection, certainly they are very likely within a second
degree connection.
People who I call friends are really my Avengers team, the all star team that's necessary to
(03:36):
make nearly any of my dreams come true.
I think what has helped me back is my own fears and insecurities for really leaning
out on a limb and really creating the framework to make something happen.
And I sat with this thought for hours as I fed the fire and went back and forth to look
(03:58):
for wood, keeping the fire going.
And I couldn't shake this incredible sensation within me that something really big was about
to sprout, something really devotional was about to come forth for me to pay attention
to and really put some work and time into it.
(04:21):
By dawn, as the first light lit up the dark sky, taking it from mixture of clouds and
bits of sparkle of stars to this gray, blue and purple turning into an orange and pink.
This new emerging project would take form in a shape of deep dives with some of my most
(04:45):
inspirational friends.
And these conversations, which are made of stories of their tribulations, their challenges,
their successes and lifetime of stories would shape into an incredible podcast.
And so here we are in September of 2023.
I have now recorded 15 conversations with friends who I would go as far as saying family.
(05:12):
And it's been an absolutely enlightening and expansive experience for me and hopefully
for them as well.
I present you The Wilderness Within.
(05:42):
Earlier in 2021, I had multiple conversations with friends who are artists, musicians and
podcast hosts themselves.
And it really helped me have multiple soundboards throughout the months to make sense of this
sprout that was happening within me.
(06:03):
And the name Wilderness Within took form through multiple conversations and additional camping
trips that seems to be a theme in my life.
I get a lot of great ideas as I'm moving outside and being surrounded by nature.
And just as the name subtle dream for those of you who have known me for a number of years,
(06:27):
that name came about decades ago when I was actually in high school, maybe story for different
time.
I still find it to be really beautiful and fitting.
And I think that Wilderness Within will stick around and be timeless in a sense.
I remember in the very last hours of 2021, I put together all of the ideas and inspirations
(06:50):
into one long email and invitation.
I sent it out to the 20 some hopeful guests.
And yeah, the response was pretty remarkable.
In the first few months of 2022, I planned and got to visit three friends in southern
(07:13):
Mexico and coastal Ecuador for these very first recordings.
And I'm happy to say that those would be also the first three podcasts to be released in
the coming weeks.
And since then, I've been able to record 13 more conversations and there's more coming
down to pipe.
(07:33):
It feels very fitting to have this global network of humans that I respect and adore.
And I've had a lot of fun being able to travel to them, to their home and talk to them face
to face in person.
(07:55):
I have not yet explored recording a podcast through the internet, although I think that
time will come in the coming months and years.
I'm just really happy and feeling very privileged that I've been able to do all of the recordings
so far in person.
And it just gives me an excuse to visit these wonderful people and see the home and space
(08:19):
that they have built or call home.
And yeah, I believe what sets this podcast apart from the thousands and thousands of
podcasts out there, or even projects that I've embarked on is the simple yet incredible
fact that I'm going to start for now by interviewing only people that I have a direct connection
(08:40):
with.
And through the past decade, decade plus of trotting globally and living nomadically,
spending time in communities of different interests and intersectionalities, all of
that has brought me in contact with a really diverse set of quality humans and the depth
(09:04):
and the diverse stories that they hold and shared with me really reflect that.
Yeah, the task to choose the initial guess was not easy or simple, but it has been done.
And I think there's a lot of excitement because of the diversity that exists.
I also really want to leverage this platform to share some of my own experiences and stories,
(09:29):
whether during conversations with guests or in future solo episodes.
I'm going to lean into my Patreon community and at times my social media to formulate
topics and questions around that.
And yeah, I hope that you all will take part and direct message me and email me with feedback
(09:51):
and maybe even criticism of the constructive type.
I love to take anything and everything to improve and polish the projects.
And I'm sure that it'll evolve as the months and years go by.
I'm extremely grateful that you're here, that you choose to spend time listening to
(10:12):
what I and my wonderful friends have to share.
And yeah, I'm looking at this collage of the humans I've gotten to record with so
far and it just brings a big smile to my face.
(10:50):
For those of you who are subscribed to my newsletter that I've been putting out since
early 2021, thank you for being on there.
I will leverage the newsletter to continue to share global good news and original content
and I think internet gems that I find extremely valuable every other month.
(11:13):
I will also utilize the newsletter to announce new episodes.
And of course, you will find these episodes on your favorite podcasts, apps, and channels.
The original soundtrack that you listen to is a huge thanks to my good friends, brothers
(11:34):
Scott Hansen and Carlos Milatante.
Thank you so much you guys for creating such beautiful sounds that really evoke emotion
and allow us to sit with the learnings and teachings and realizations, reflections during
these conversations.
Besides drawing from the wellspring that is within me, this podcast is made possible thanks
(12:00):
to the financial contributions of my Patreon supporters.
For those of you who are unaware of what Patreon is, it is a platform that I've been leaning
into for the last five years since 2018 to have fans and supporters of what I do and
the projects that I put out for them to be able to financially pitch in per month or
(12:24):
per year.
This really allows me to have a consistently reliably predictable side income to offset
any costs that projects like this podcast induce.
And it has been an invaluable way for me to feel really supported and to reconnect with
(12:48):
a number of you.
And so I thank you for all of the past and current Patreon subscribers and allowing me
to financially make this happen.
And if you're curious, head over to patreon.com slash subtle dream to find out how you can
perhaps pitch in and continue to make this a reality for me, for you, for all of us.
(13:14):
Thank you so much for considering.
In addition to making this podcast a reality, my Patreon subscribers also allow the newsletter
to happen and moments when I support other individuals and nonprofits and NGOs from telling
(13:35):
their stories through media.
And this is something that I've offered pro bono for a number of years.
And I really think that those extra few hundred bucks each month really allow me to go at
ease and buying some equipment here and there to offer free pro bono services to people
that I find that really make our earth a better place.
(13:58):
And some of the projects and communities I've supported in the past include a beacon food
for us in Seattle, Washington, conscious impact in the lower Himalayas of Nepal and many,
many more.
One of the perks as a Patreon subscriber is the ability to see additional post, which
includes additional media that I share with each newsletter, some behind the scenes and
(14:25):
thoughts and reflections.
And in the future, as I finally set up my print store, discounts for prints.
(14:52):
One of the incredible benefits in doing the recordings and conversations with my friends
is that we've gotten to deepen our connection with one another.
There's been so many gaps in their life story that's been filled because we sit down and
have an intentional dedicated conversation about one another.
(15:15):
And I get really curious and the curiosity has really gotten me to appreciate all of
these friends even more.
The context in which they grew up with, the maybe culture way of thinking and being that
they were surrounded by when they were growing up, just little details that really add to
(15:36):
the perspective of not just my world, but my understanding of who they are and how they've
shaped to be.
Now this includes their coming of age, as I just mentioned, challenges and failures,
the way in which they have maybe failed and tripped, but ultimately how they've gotten
(15:57):
back up on their own two feet, whether it's metaphorically or literally.
I think some of these conversations have allowed me to reflect on aspects of my life where
I feel I've gotten stuck or that maybe I can improve.
And so really, I see this as a symbiotically mutually beneficial conversation.
(16:22):
And I can confidently say a year and a half, two years into it, this is something very
important that I intend on doing for a while.
(16:51):
A special thank you to Melissa Katelyn in editing this podcast and working her creative
magic in polishing up all of these recordings into the way that you listen to them.
Thank you, Melissa.
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