April 25, 2025 • 50 mins
What happens when your survival depends on the most random item you could imagine? That's the premise of our brand new "Survive or Die" format, where Alex and TJ face off in a battle of creative survival thinking.
Armed with nothing but a bizarre assortment of everyday items, our contestants tackle increasingly absurd scenarios. Picture this: you're trapped in a walk-in freezer with only a fire starter. Or you're fleeing from a bear with nothing but your voice to defend yourself. How would you possibly survive?
The contrasting approaches are what make this episode shine. Alex typically takes the practical route, like creating angled shelter with a tarp to reflect heat or disabling a freezer's cooling system to prevent freezing to death. Meanwhile, TJ embraces the theatrical – wearing a tarp as a cape to scare away bears or misinterpreting "brown bear" entirely for comedic effect.
Some of the episode's most memorable moments include defending against zombies with tent poles, escaping rising floodwaters with plungers, and TJ's revolutionary idea to introduce squirrel civilization to the concept of nut butter using a blender. The solutions range from genuinely clever to hilariously absurd, with both contestants earning points for creativity if not always practicality.
By the final tally, Alex edges out TJ by just one point in this survival battle of wits. But the real question remains: when faced with these impossible scenarios, which approach would you take? The practical solution or the spectacular one? Listen now and test your own survival creativity!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Hello, hello, survivors, and welcome to
another episode of Will youSurvive.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
The Podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
This is a podcast where we watch a movie and then
we talk about said movie and wetalk about all the survival
aspects of it, except this timewe didn't watch a movie.
So get tricked, get pranked.
We are doing something that Iwant to call survive or die.
Uh, and my two contestantstoday will be alex that's me and
(00:54):
tj.
I have ravioli, he has ravioli.
Therefore, he has an advantagein all survival situations I
have adult applesauce that couldbe a detriment.
Now, what would the equivalentof that be?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
chunky, jello, jello shots no, what would the
equivalent?
Maybe just fermented applesauceum, ew, you know, you know what
it could be.
It could be uh, it could be itcould be like a uh, what do they
call it?
What do they call it?
It has a name, but it's likeadult watermelon put a bottle of
oh yeah, I've done that, that,that.
That'll mess you up.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
That'll mess you up, yeah that's insane.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
I would.
I don't think I'll do thatanytime soon again, and I did
that a long time ago.
Last time I did, it was 2020.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
What about the one?
Speaker 1 (01:39):
chip.
It's painful.
So let me introduce you guys tothis survive or die format that
we're going to do here.
I'm going to present each ofyou It'll be one at a time, so
we'll go back and forth I'mgoing to present each of you
with a situation and then anitem.
(02:00):
So the situation will be somesort of survival situation or
scenario that you might findyourself in, and I'm going to
give you an item at random froma long list that I have here.
I'm going to try to make itsomewhat challenging but usable.
I might give you somethingcompletely useless, so your goal
is to see what you can possiblycome up with to use this item
(02:24):
if it was the only thing you hadto help you survive these life
or death situations.
Do we understand?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I think so.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
It'll make more sense as we go.
Who wants to go first?
I'll go.
All right, alex, number one,you are stranded in the
wilderness for three days.
You somehow know it'll beexactly three days.
Your item is a tarp.
What would you do with saiditem?
You don't have to just talkabout the item.
You could talk about like.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Am I able to ask questions?
Sure, so what's the climatethat I'm in?
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Forest.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
I'm in.
Well, that's geography.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
What climate Is it tropical, let's say Redwood.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Forest Redwood Forest .
Speaker 1 (03:02):
What season is it?
We'll say it's like earlyspring.
Okay, so it's cold, all right.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
So it's going to get cold at night.
It'll be warm in the day,warm-ish in the day, okay.
So if I'm in the redwoods,there's most likely running
water somewhere.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Fair assumption.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
I have a tarp.
I think I would prefer to usethe tarp for shelter.
I could do one of a few things.
Having just the tarp.
I would have to try to find someway to tie up the tarp to give
me cover.
That would give me enough coverin the day that I wouldn't get
heat exhaustion or sunstroke,and it would give me pretty good
(03:43):
cover if I do it right, lowenough to my body that I can
contain some body heat and staysemi-warm at night.
Maybe even put it up at anangle where I have the fire in
front of me and the tarp behindme so it reflects a little bit
of heat at me.
I think that would be.
The best case scenario is touse the tarp for shelter instead
of trying to use it for wateror anything like that.
(04:05):
Because I have three days, if Iknow I only have three days.
I can go without food and Icould even manage to go without
water for that long if Icouldn't find it in that period
of time I don't know if I couldgo without food for that long
but I would not be able to gowithout shelter in the night at
uh, in the redwood forests.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
That's my answer okay , I'm gonna switch things up a
little bit.
Uh, tj.
Yeah, give me a different waythat you would use that item.
I want to clarify also I'm notgrading purely on practicality.
I'm a silly goose, so we canget a little creative with these
if we want to.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
What I was gonna say thanks for fucking telling me
that now well for the as we goon.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
you got a point Because I was thinking that what
I would use a tarp for would beshelter.
That is what I would use it for.
I would create some sort oflike a stick frame in a T shape
and put the tarp over to protectyou from rain and then put a
fire right outside so that theheat gets trapped inside with
you.
Very valid idea.
I also imagine it's going torain because it's the Redwood
(05:07):
Forest.
So what would you use it for?
Tj.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
Okay, say I'm just, you know, dropped here.
I just wake up.
There's a tarp, I'm in aRedwood Forest, I'm nowhere near
home.
I have no Redwoods in the statethat I live in.
I'm going to tie the tarparound my neck and run around
like a cape uh, caped crusaderand uh, if I run in one
direction, eventually I'll getsomewhere.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
I don't hate the idea .
I do feel like you'd scare awayit'll attract attention if
there's anybody nearby.
If it doesn't, I guess I'm deadI think you'd also scare away
the most of the bears that areup there, because those are
black bears up there, right andyeah, yeah.
So I think that uh, I mean yeah, I think that's an idea.
Yeah, yeah, okay, I like thatone.
All right, so, tj, you had apoint.
By the way, alex, tj, for yourscenario zombies break into your
(05:52):
house.
The item that you have is atent pole.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
How many zombies?
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Let's say oh, it just says zombies, so let's just say
one Single zombie.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
Yeah, single zombie have you ever seen?
Daredevil, I yes, okay,depending on which one billy
clubs where, okay it's twosticks and then, if you take
them apart, there's a string.
What?
does the tent pole have theexact same thing.
So I'm gonna do the best I canusing that tent pole.
You know I'm uh, yeah, tentpoles are pretty long.
Let's say this one's like sixfeet, you know sure.
(06:24):
You know Sure, you knowReasonable If I can take it in
half and use the string, wrap itaround their head and just
violently smash their face intomy knee and see what happens.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Hmm, okay, okay, I must say I do fear there's a
risk of being bit.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
That's no Smashing a zombie's head into your knee.
I wear very thick jeans all thetime.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Okay, I would have liked to hear knee pads more in
that situation.
But, sure, very thick denimjeans, three pairs because it's
cold.
Okay, sure, alex, how would youuse a tent pole if a zombie
broke into your house?
Speaker 2 (06:59):
How would I use a tent pole?
Okay, here's my idea.
My idea is I would want to usesomething more practical and
wrangle a zombie.
Let's say something like I'm ina household.
I'm in a house, so I'm going tosay I have a pillowcase and I
can tie it around the zombie'shead to prevent myself from
(07:21):
getting bit very easily.
And then I would use the tentpole to, randomly and without
warning, whip the zombie allover.
I am talking torture.
I am going to whip it and askit why it broke into my house.
I am going to take out allaggression that I have on this
zombie and I'm going to makesure all of his friends know
(07:41):
don't fuck with me.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
That is an interesting idea, uh, treating
them more like animals thananything.
Uh, and torturing them also atthe same time.
Uh, interesting, okay, uh, Ilost my.
There we go.
I lost my sheep for a second, Igot scared.
Okay, uh, torture it.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
That's an interesting approach and also uh, fenriris
points out that tj anopportunity he could have gotten
away with apple-bottom jeans.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
I'm glad he didn't, do I have the boots with the fur
or no?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Do you?
I don't know, do you?
Speaker 3 (08:12):
Okay, I've got the whole club.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
We're looking at her.
Alex, yes, alex Okay.
Alex yes, you are locked in awalk-in freezer oh, that's awful
the only item that you happento have on you is a fire starter
.
Is there anything you can thinkto do in a walk-in freezer with
(08:35):
a fire starter?
Speaker 2 (08:36):
um, I am in a walk-in freezer.
I'm locked in there with a firestarter.
Ah, okay, um, obvious thing.
Could I even, potentially,start a fire?
Not wise, because they areairtight.
Is it on?
Yes, it is on, okay, um, with afire starter which?
Uh, which type of fire starterdo you know?
(08:58):
like a magnesium and flint okay,something that doesn't matter
if it's easy to do and the steelis hard but not doesn't have
leverage for like stabby power,I wouldn't be able to poke my
way out of it.
Um, so this fricking thing ison, I'm locked in and all I have
is a fire starter and whateverbelongs in the walk-in freezer.
(09:18):
Let me see, I I don't thinkthere's a whole lot I can do
with a fire starter in a freezer, so I would probably try to God
.
Okay, this is tough because awalk-in freezer is pretty large,
but it's not an indefiniteamount of oxygen, although the
oxygen is pulled from outside.
(09:41):
So I'm thinking really the onlything I would have a good
possibility of doing is usingthe steel and stopping the fan
blade and eventually burning upthe motor so that I don't freeze
to death, because it won't takeme long to freeze in a walk-in
freezer if that motor is stillon and if I can't do anything
else.
I can't start a fire withanything that's frozen.
(10:03):
I'm trying to think ofeverything I knew of when I was
in a freezer.
There's nothing in there thatwould be lightable, everything
is frozen, everything is wet,everything is hard.
That's the only thing I couldthink of doing is breaking the
motor so that I at least don'tfreeze to death.
In the next three hours I wouldprobably have many more hours
of oxygen that I could breatheto try to figure out how to get
(10:26):
out of this walk-in.
So I think that's what I wouldhave to do.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
I like that answer because I would not have thought
to do that.
I'll tell you my idea in asecond TJ.
What would you do with a firestarter in a walk-in freezer?
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Can you do a little bit of research for me?
Speaker 1 (10:45):
I think I might have already done the research that
you're going to ask.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
What would you like me to research?
I definitely don't think thatyou did.
Is refrigerant flammable?
Speaker 1 (10:53):
I did not you're right, I looked up if there's
fire sprinklers in walk-infreezers there's not, they're
dry probably is refrigerantflammable oh my god, that's a
top search.
Not flammable, but some can be.
Depends on the type.
R410a is common in modern hvacsystems, but this isn't really
(11:13):
it's not an hvac.
Yeah, this is, this is um arerefrigerants refrigerant or is
refrigerant used in walk-infreezers flammable while y'all
were searching?
Speaker 3 (11:25):
in most cases, no, no , yeah.
So my original idea was to stopthe fan, because in the back of
most commercial walk-infreezers there are like, there's
like the condenser unit, thefan and whatever.
But then he, you know, he saidthat, um, I was, I wasn't gonna
use the fire starter to do it, Iwas gonna be like oh, walk-in
(11:46):
freezer, there's probably food,I don't know, throw a fucking
strip of ribs in there orsomething.
See what happens, chuck a hamin there.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Yeah, just yeah beat it with a frozen chicken, you
know um, you know, I admire, Iadmire your guys's knowledge of
that, because I would have justtried to start a fire in there
yeah, yeah, yeah, not gonna, Ijust tried to light a ham on
fire or something or cheese, orso I had.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
I think cheese would burn.
I had a lot of years in walk-infreezers so I knew that there's
no way you can light anythingon fire in there I was on top of
one on friday, um anyways sojust for factual uh information
here uh, walk-in refrigerant, uh, walk-in freezers typically use
one of three peron, suva orgenitron, and they're all brands
(12:31):
of r410a, which is allnon-flammable good to know I was
going to use that to like starta fire, to be specific um, now
I'm not going to survive this,because if there's nobody around
, you're not going to be.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
There's no oxygen coming in other than like you're
not really flammable.
Yeah, no, uh, I think I'm justgonna pull on the refrigerant
line, have it leak and, uh, justhuff on that.
You know, feel, feel, feel goodtill uh, till I freeze to death
all right, yeah, hey, hey, youknow what?
Speaker 1 (12:59):
I'll give you a point for that.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
I like hey, because that shit does get you like
that's some joker shit rightthere.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
If you gotta go, go with a smile yeah, seriously, I
kind of dig it all right, tj.
Flood waters are rising in yourapartment.
The item that you have is aplunger where's the water coming
?
From?
Uh, undetermined.
What color is the water?
Um, I mean, it looks.
It looks like water.
It's got like a light kind ofdirty tint to it.
Is anywhere else flooded?
Or just my apartment?
Uh, well, so far it looks likewater.
It's got like a light kind ofdirty tint to it.
(13:26):
Is anywhere else flooded?
Speaker 3 (13:27):
or just my apartment.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Well, so far it seems like your apartment, but you do
live on the first floor, so itcould be a tsunami, it could be
anything, okay, okay.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
And my goal is to survive.
Yeah, and I have a plunger.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
You have a plunger.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
What's the handle made out of?
Just a quick question.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
All right, got it Red plunger tip.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
I am going to run to the furthest room that is not
filling with water.
Stack shit on top of each other.
As you say, I live on the firstfloor.
I will then use the plunger tobash a hole in the ceiling.
Now, stay with me here.
Stay with me here.
(14:12):
Okay, I'm following as I'mbashing holes in the ceiling.
I'm doing it in like a perfectcircular.
You know motion.
Then I then rip the drywalldown.
I'm assuming that there'sinsulation.
Rip that down, right so all overyour face, okay it's yeah, it
might not be fiberglass, itcould be like sheep's wool or it
(14:34):
could be like you know, sprayyou know shit like that.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
I'm the narrator here fiberglass it is your lungs
hate you right now.
Go on, it's fine, it's fineit's fine.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
I will locate a sort of duct or maybe a beam of some
sort, try to climb up a littlebit and start bashing my way up
through the ceiling up into myneighbor's apartment, and then I
will do that again and againuntil I reach the roof.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Okay, alex, you're on your first floor apartment.
Floodwaters are.
You're on your second floorapartment rising?
Somebody you're on your firstfloor apartment, floodwaters are
rising in your apartment andyou have a plunger.
(15:28):
What do you do?
Speaker 2 (15:29):
okay, judging by the way you worded this, you said
floodwaters are rising in myapartment, but is it just my
apartment, or is it floodwatersundetermined?
Well, first thing I'm gonna dois look out the window there's
no water I'm gonna open thefront door okay, you let out a
bunch of water.
I let let the water out.
Now I'm to try to find outwhere the water's coming from.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Your floors are disgusting now.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Yeah, they would be absolutely wretched.
But before I start worryingabout cleanup, I'm going to look
for the source of the water.
Was it a toilet?
It?
Speaker 1 (16:05):
was a toilet.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
So now I shut off the water so no more water comes in
, and try to plunge it.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
All right, congratulations, you've solved
the situation.
Tj, you owe your neighbors ashit ton of money in floor
repairs.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
It's probably my neighbor's fault, no one's who
clogged up the goddamn system.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
I hear him shitting at the fucking 3 in the morning
right through the fucking wallslike in here at the pipes TJ's
toilet floods and he's likethat's it breaking the ceiling.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
I'm not getting stuck in here with this that was so
epic.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
I was hearing it happen and I'm like I think
there's a simpler way butthere's nothing more badass than
using a plunger to breakthrough the ceiling you know how
long that must take you I thinkthat would also be kind of cool
drywall isn't that hard tobreak through but the insulation
(17:10):
and the studs well, you're notbreaking through the studs, but
as soon as you hit the stud, thera.
But as soon as you hit the stud,the rafters.
As soon as you hit the rafters,you know, just move on, move
over a couple of inches.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
Every 18 inches.
Eric, did you know that?
I did not know that.
If you need to hang somethingup now, you know, maybe hang up
those fucking paintings thathave been in the corner of your
room for fucking two years.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Those aren't paintings.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Those are not paintings.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Those are sound panels that have been there for
about the last year and a half.
Hang them up.
They need to go into studs.
I don't feel like drilling intothe walls.
They're kind of just going tosit there and be decoration
forever now, alex, yeah, you areasleep in your bed and you hear
the front door first open.
(17:54):
There's a home invasionhappening.
You reach over, you grab fromyour nightstand your weapon of
choice, and it's a pair ofsunglasses.
What do you do?
Speaker 2 (18:06):
I've reached over and my weapon of choice are
sunglasses.
Yeah, I strip down completely,fucking butt naked.
I put those sunglasses on, Istep out into the hallway and I
tell them now you fucked up,because rape is only a five-year
sentence that is insane.
(18:26):
Nothing to say is a lifesentence.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Now get over here that is a terrifying thing.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
That's horrifying knowledge to have I don't have
the right number on the sentencethere, but it was it was meant
to be drastic because it's it'sfar less for and I should.
I shouldn't have said the wordbecause it's like no, I'm bad on
all social media.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
I respect that.
All right, tj, you're in yourhouse, so you break into a house
and this guy I'm gonna so tjI'm gonna I'm gonna assume it's
not alex.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Alex did not break into your house.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
I'm gonna assume that alex and I are roommates.
Nice, so he's alreadyconfronted them.
I whisper to my Alexa Alexa,enter ditty mode.
All of the LED lights in thehouse go red.
I put on my sunglasses, stripbutterball naked, except for my
(19:27):
g-string.
I always keep on me.
I then lube myself up with allof the baby oil, I keep in my
secret cabinet below the stairsand I slide at the attacker.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
You better hand me a bottle.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Well, you guys went a way different route than I was
thinking you might go down.
I figured both of you knewMortal Kombat and might try to
become Johnny Cage.
Sunglasses are kind of his mainthing, but the going full Diddy
Party on the Invader is a turnof events I did not see coming.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
Now imagine a fucking multiple hundred pound man
sliding at you on the floor athigh speeds, at least 40.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Like a seal.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
Like a goddamn seal Making the same noises too.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
TJ's tall.
Tj's tall and big.
That would be horrifyingTorpedo For him to come sliding
down the hallway at Mach 10.
Okay, tj, next situation.
I have a very specific solutionin mind for this that I don't
(20:42):
know if either of you are goingto get.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
But for my entertainment I'm going to do it
.
You are on the run from a bearand all you have is your voice.
Tj, what do you tell this bear?
What kind of bear?
We'll say it's a brown bear.
So yelling at it isn't usuallygoing to make it go away.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
Where am I?
Speaker 1 (21:08):
at You're in the redwoods, okay, where there's
not usually brown bears.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
I don't know what a big hairy brown man is doing in
the redwoods, Okay, when there'snot usually brown bears.
I don't know what a big hairybrown man is doing in the woods,
but you know.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
That's what the bear is wondering.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
I'll let him know I'm not interested More in the
twinks myself.
I'll tell him I have a friend,eric, who I think he'd be really
into, and then I send him thenice man on his way, the very
homo sexual man, very hairy,that's what they call it All
(21:43):
right.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
All right, DJ Alex.
You said he was brown, so yeah,no, you nailed it, you won.
You won that one.
You nailed it, you won.
You won that one.
You got me.
That wasn't what I was, that'snot at all what I had in mind,
but you beat me at my own gamethere, so I can't say you're
(22:06):
wrong.
Alex, how would you survive abrown bear with just your voice?
How would I survive a?
Speaker 2 (22:16):
brown bear, with just my voice, I think what I would
have to do.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
He's thinking about a big, hairy brown man.
I am not.
He's trying to stop thinkingabout it.
I'm thinking of a brown bear.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
I'm trying to think.
Raul.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
I closed my eyes and I got a very vivid picture of
exactly what a Raul would looklike if he was a bear.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
In my head.
He looks like the guy whoplayed Gomez Adams in Wednesday.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
It's along those lines.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
It's along those lines, yeah, so we got a lore
for our whole.
Speaker 3 (23:04):
That's so stupid.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
So I think the only thing I can do in trying to
survive a brown bear, the onlything I have is my voice.
Is it charging at me?
Speaker 1 (23:16):
yes, you're on the run from it I'm on the run, oh
man that's already secondsthat's the first dumb thing that
I've done.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Uh, I'm running from the bear.
It's gonna catch me any secondnow.
Uh, god, I don't know.
I think the only thing I can dois cry, scream.
Tell the bear, I didn't mean it, what I did to its family
what'd you do to its family?
That's between me and the bear.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Okay, shit, ask Alexa .
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Now I'm taking the bear's side, all right.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Well, my answer which I thought was really funny, but
it's only really funny to me isI would turn around and go no
Stop, I don't like this game.
That's one of my favorite jokesof all time, tag you're it.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
No, stop, tag, you're it.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
No, stop.
I don't like this game.
Oh my God.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
It's my favorite joke of all time.
It's so funny.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
Yeah, Raul would have thought that was funny.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
Raul would have thought that was funny raul
gomez alex.
Yep, you are in a hostagesituation in a kitchen.
Your loved one pick whoever isheld hostage in your kitchen.
You reach over and you grabyour weapon of choice, a rolling
pin.
What do you do?
Speaker 2 (24:44):
well, how is this my weapon of choice?
Speaker 1 (24:47):
you chose it.
It's right there, it's it'sthere was a gun next to it, but
you grab the rolling pin.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
I don't know what to tell you.
Why would I grab the rollingpin?
Speaker 1 (24:54):
why did you grab the rolling pin?
Yeah, you gotta tell us why.
Clearly, it's your weapon ofchoice.
You had a thought behind this.
Speaker 3 (25:01):
You knew what you were gonna do your wife even
dramatically said babe, get thepin I pick up the rolling pin
when you grab the pin, corinnegoes.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
She looks at the hostage guy and she goes you
fucked up now I tell the hostagetaker now that I have my
rolling pin, I can do one of twothings I can make you start the
s or I can smash you in thehead with this.
One of those two things isgoing to happen next.
Which do you choose?
Speaker 1 (25:29):
He asks you if you can do corn tortillas.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Absolutely, they're easy.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Well, you won them over, because Mexican food makes
every situation better.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
Always, you're not supposed to use a rolling pin
for corn tortillas.
You got to use a little pressthing.
You can.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
No, oh my God, you fucking cheater you.
Speaker 3 (25:48):
How dare you nah, dude, the press gets imperfectly
circular.
I want to do that for flowertoo, but that's ridiculous.
I don't know, goddamn oblong,fucking corn tortilla with your
hands.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
That's how you do it.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
Real mexicans do it with their hands no, the fuck
they don't, because I haveabuela and she uses that shit
because she's got arthritis.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Come on, exactly.
It's a good way to do it.
You just get too.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
I don't have arthritis fool.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
That's the fuck you do.
Stop lying to yourself.
Fuck you, I do.
My hand was hurting so bad.
The other day I was rubbing mypinky.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
I know you have plantar fasciitis in your left
foot.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
I wonder if I have.
Oh, fuck you, I do too in myright foot.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
This is getting personal asshole I got up a
little too quick the other dayand I felt a little pop in the
middle of my foot.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
I was like ew, that's what I say, man when in my
youth, all my injuries came fromskateboarding, snowboarding and
surfing.
Now, all my injuries came fromskateboarding, snowboarding and
surfing.
Now all my injuries come fromsitting down too long, standing
up too fast and sleeping wrong.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
I hurt my ankle by stepping on a drainpipe.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Ben Ruris said he stood up and the check engine
light came on.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
I'm sure you guys have done that, where you stand
up too fast and you really justfeel like every light in your
brain just goes nope.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Yep, sit back down.
That's right Now.
I stand up from my seat andgive it a moment before I walk
away.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Do I have to sit back down, or am I good to actually?
Speaker 2 (27:17):
move.
Do I have to sit back down?
Speaker 1 (27:19):
All right, tj, you are shipwrecked on a deserted
island and all you have is abunch of cases of rum.
What do you do?
Speaker 3 (27:26):
I have just a bunch of cases of rum.
Is there anything else on thebeach?
Is there any like uh, let's say, washed up uh jars?
Speaker 2 (27:34):
sure you've found a jar okay so if there's rum on
this beach, alex, I'm going totake one of the uh bottles of
rum.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
Okay, we get fucked up.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
I, I'm going to take that jar that I found.
I'm definitely there.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
Yeah, it has a lid, Perfectly preserved jar we got
here.
I'm going to go inland, dig upsome of the ground and throw it
in the jar.
I'm then going to go back tothe beach and, whilst holding
the jar of dirt with my wobblyrum legs, I'm going to start
sprinting and say I have a jarof dirt with my wobbly rum legs.
(28:06):
I'm going to start sprintingand say I have a jar of dirt.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
I have a jar of dirt.
Guess what's inside it?
You happen to tumble down aflight of stairs that were not
previously there before.
Yes, okay, yeah, you got apoint.
Uh, alex, you wake up on saiddeserted island.
You see tj dancing around witha jar of dirt and all you have
is a bunch of cases of rum.
What do you do?
Speaker 2 (28:27):
I'm wondering why the fuck those cases of rum are
still there.
Why haven't they been consumed?
If I am on a deserted islandwith TJ, something's going to
have to make him more attractive.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
No, no, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
You know I wasn't going to give you a point until
that last line.
I love it.
No, no, no.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
Wait, wait wait, wait , wait, all right.
Wow, he's going to use a lube,all right.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
Don't use the rum Rum lube.
Don't use the rum rum lubedon't use the rum no, no, no, no
, no.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
So we have exhausted the general scenarios.
Now we're going to go to ourgoofier scenarios.
Okay, alex, the floor is lavafor real this time.
Okay, and all you have areonion mitts.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Onion mitts.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
What Oven mitts?
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Ooh, what do you do?
All I have are oven mitts, andthe floor is lava.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
For real this time.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
Okay, I think I have something.
Okay, so I would have to findsomething that wouldn't combust
instantly.
Are we here, sure, and thisfloor right here is lava.
Ripped to the downstairsneighbors.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Oh yeah, they're long gone.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
So then this desk will take a little bit of time.
I get on top of this desk.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
I will warn you, this desk is glass.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Yeah, that's okay, it's got metal underneath it.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
You don't think the heat would cause the glass to
shatter?
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Oh, it would for sure , but not right away.
It would temper it even further, making it the strongestible,
and I could ride the glass likea surfboard down the stairs to
safety.
Speaker 3 (30:09):
Stands on the glass, it melts.
He's like ah.
Now there's burning glass on mylegs and love.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
But if I still have the rum from the island, I'm not
caring.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Now what about the oven mitts?
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Oh, I wear those just for fun, just for fashion.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Just for fashion.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
That's interesting, okay, tj yes, there's a reason
I'm shouting.
I'm doing the podcast.
Thank you, I should just winall of that.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
Will you survive the podcast?
Speaker 3 (30:36):
no um okay, so he?
He clearly did not know of theancient technique of shoving
those damn oven mitts on my feetand walking right out, okay.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
Okay, I'll give you a point for it, because that is
the answer I was going for,although I will say oven mitts
aren't going to fit on your feet.
They'll definitely fit on myfeet.
They're not going to fit onyour feet.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
They'll definitely fit on my feet, not your big ass
feet either.
I have an oven mitt.
I will go grab a goddamn ovenand you're gonna have to hand
stand.
You're gonna have to hand standyour way out of there.
I will tippy toe my way ass outof there.
I don't care.
Yeah, it's gonna work out.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
You'll wear them like heels, exactly, okay, so we
also got three good comments onthis.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
Okay, hb says pick up big rocks and hop on them, like
mario.
Okay, cerilia says throw thepillows down and jump on them.
I like that.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
Works in regular floors Lava.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
And then, fenriris, the floor is lava.
What the hell is wrong withyour house?
We haven't determined that yet.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
No, this is really bad because we live on the third
floor.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
Third floor so if the bottom two floors are screwed
it's only a matter of time,because the ground level is
garage.
And now the next scenario thelava is floor, causing chaos
around the world, as all of themagma in the inner crust of the
earth turns to floor Damn Damn.
(31:56):
Turns to Ikea Fuck it Likeflooring.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
You just went specific there.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
Did you just read my notes?
The next scenario is Ikearelated.
Oh, my TJ, your next scenarioyou must escape an Ikea before
it closes forever.
And you have a compass with you.
I have a compass, you have acompass.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
Okay, everybody knows that every Ikea entrance faces
northwest.
That's just a fact.
No, yeah, it's literally.
Look it up, I can literallythink of one Literally looked it
up, because you know, if you'refacing the globe and you're
looking at Sweden, where is it?
Northwest?
Speaker 1 (32:37):
The entrances face the mountains.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
It faces northwest right.
Okay, so I get my compass.
Oh shit, yo, those are somereally cheap hand towels.
I can, I can't, I don't want to.
I keep going.
I run, I'm sprinting, I'mfollowing that yellow fucking
line that leads to everywhereand nowhere at the same time.
Uh, eventually I make my wayand I see a door.
(33:03):
I run right at it and I'm likeyes, finally exit.
I open the door Fuck amillennial kitchen.
I'm so thirsty at this pointI've been running for like 20
fucking minutes.
I turn on the sink in that room.
No water, because it's a fake,god damn it.
I leave.
I burst through the door again.
(33:24):
Ooh, really nice shelving.
Might put that in my office.
I leave.
I burst through the door again.
Ooh, really nice shelving.
Might put that in my office.
I have to stay focused.
I keep going.
I see somebody who works here.
Hi, sir, fuck, he's justwearing a blue shirt.
He doesn't work here.
He's lost, just like me.
What else can I do?
I strangle the man.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
I strangle him to death I strangle the man.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
I strangle him to death.
Speaker 3 (33:44):
He's the another man.
I cut him into pieces, I throwhim on the stove.
It doesn't work, gotta go raw.
I eat the man because I knowI'm never making it out of this
IKEA live.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
Okay, alex, I'm scared to ask you now.
You're stuck in an IKEA andyour goal is to get out before
it closes forever.
There's also a psychopathinside the Ikea now and you have
a compass.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
You're in an Ikea.
A man sprints at you.
Speaker 1 (34:17):
A man sprints at you with half a leg hanging out of
his mouth and a knife in hishand.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
I look down and see what color shirt I am wearing,
to ensure I'm not dressed as anikea employee you're wearing a
red shirt, you're safe okay, soI don't worry about the
psychopath right away well, youthink it's a gray shirt, but
yeah all right, that's a nicegray shirt you got on, but you
know.
Okay, we don't have to go there.
(34:43):
So I think the first thing Iwant to do is is there a reason
why I'm worried about it closingforever?
Speaker 1 (34:50):
Oh, because if it closes, you'll be stuck inside
forever.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Can't I just break the glass?
Speaker 1 (34:54):
No, it becomes magic If you can find it, it becomes
magic.
It's the most D&D answer I'veever given you.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
I think the way that I'm going to be able to do this
is follow the motherfuckingarrows on the ground.
They point you in the directionthat the whole flow is supposed
to go.
You're supposed to walk in thedirection that they lead you so
that you can experience all ofthe magic that Ikea has there
for you.
But they point everywhere andnowhere at the same time you can
(35:21):
see what your home would looklike.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
I agree with TJ.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
What.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
It points to everywhere and nowhere at the
same time.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
It points to everywhere and nowhere.
Yep, well, I don't care.
I want to see what my bedroomshould look like.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
I want to see what my kitchen should look like.
You explore each individualroom.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
Each and every one.
I will exhaust Ikea, Ikea bythe end will spit me out and say
say, I have had enough of thisfucking asshole I respect that,
that even ikea, the buildingitself, would say I've had
enough because you know can'thandle me inside of you that
long that's starts to hurt.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
Well, I almost took away your point now.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
So you can't be getting sensitive on me all
right, alex.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
You are surrounded by a swarm of aggressive squirrels
.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
All you have is a blender.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
Oh, let's do it.
Is that blender plugged in?
Speaker 1 (36:17):
It's got its magic powered.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
Squirrel puree.
Oh no, I love that they'reaggressive.
I'm going to open it up and I'mgoing to try to catch every
single one of them inside of itwhile that thing is going, and
I'm going to point it at thenext one just so I can get the
remnants of one of them on theother one before it goes in the
blender as well.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
Psychic damage.
I like it.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
I am going to pulverize them all, puree every
single one of them.
There will be nothing left ofthese squirrels.
So if you're listening,squirrel, stop eating my
freaking oranges.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
I think Alex has a grudge and might bring a blender
to work now.
Speaker 2 (36:58):
Only if it's magic.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
TJ, what would you do with a magic blender surrounded
by a swarm of aggressivesquirrels.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
I would simply talk to them to just just to their,
to their inner nature of wantingthis dope ass, fucking blender.
I, I, I.
I will definitely get throughto them.
They will take me to theirsquirrel chief.
I will give him nuts frombeyond his lands and promise
more, and I will give him ablender as gay shall use it to
(37:30):
make nut butter.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
I kind of dig it.
If I'm being honest, that's arevolutionary idea.
Speaker 3 (37:41):
They've known solid nuts their whole life.
They've never had a nut butter.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
To speak to Chief Squirrel and sell his
civilization a blender.
That's ultimate salesman stuffright there, just I'm like billy
may.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
Billy may's here with the new magic blender.
You see, one, two, three, it'sblended.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
It even works underwater they are blending
here with the new slap, chopacorn butter.
Acorn butter.
I like that.
Yeah, that's really going toopen up the possibilities of
squirrel civilization.
I think you've altered thefuture forever.
Yeah, tj.
Yes, an evil AI has trapped youinside of a smart home.
(38:26):
All you have is I'm decidingbetween two different things.
All you have is I'm decidingbetween two different things.
All you have is a roll of ducttape and you're stuck inside of
a smart home by an evil AI.
What do you do?
I?
Speaker 3 (38:39):
am going to learn the ins and outs of its sight on
the house.
I guarantee there's at leastone spot where it cannot see.
I find that spot.
I take the duct tape and I makethe sexiest pair of lingerie
bralette and panties that I canmake.
(38:59):
I put it on.
I then walk into the site ofthe house.
It's talking to me.
It's like what are you doing,sir?
I'm like freaky time, alexaditty music.
Bam bam, bam, bam, bam bam.
Sir, I'm like freaky time,alexa diddy music.
I then do the sexiest stripshow that this ai house has ever
seen.
It is actually horrified.
(39:20):
It then bursts into flames,leaving me inside.
I burned to death, so you oh,so you don't survive it.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
Uh, but hear me out.
Speaker 3 (39:29):
Okay, interesting, and that's why I think I should
get a point yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
Okay, Alex, you're stuck inside of a smart home by
an evil AI and all you have is aroll of duct tape.
What do you do?
Speaker 2 (39:41):
Okay, I am going to cover all the cameras with the
duct tape.
Speaker 3 (39:46):
All right Boring.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
And then I'm going to wrap my hands in duct tape,
cover my wrists in the duct tapeand I'm going to smash on the
windows as hard as I can until Ibreak out.
Yeah, I know you like thesmashing part, hulk smash, and
I'm going to escape through awindow if it won't, let me out
of a door.
Speaker 3 (40:07):
Are you naked?
Speaker 2 (40:07):
I can be.
Speaker 3 (40:10):
I mean most of the time I am.
I feel like this plan can onlywork if you're naked.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
Then I'm naked.
I get naked first, then I wrapmy fists all in duct tape, I
smash the window out and then Iescape to be arrested for being
naked.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
With a brand new circumcision.
I break all of the glass out Onthe way out.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
I'm not crazy.
A little of the glass on theway out.
Speaker 3 (40:33):
I'm not crazy a little off the top, please,
thank you.
No way I don't play that game.
Keep it clean, cut.
Don't push me back.
I like your cut.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
G low taper fate okay , well, um, that's all I got.
Scenarioswise, are there as abonus round.
Would each of you like to giveeach other a survival scenario
(40:58):
with an item we could do, goofyor realistic, anybody have an
idea?
We don't have to do this part,but if you guys want to, I got
one.
Speaker 3 (41:09):
Okay, go ahead, alex.
You wake up In the stomach of awhale and all you have Are your
hands.
That's it, you got your hands.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
They are, they are.
Speaker 3 (41:19):
Detached from your body Because, as you were like
Reaching out, like to get out Ofthe whale, it got bit off a
little bit.
Speaker 2 (41:26):
So I don't even have my hands.
Speaker 3 (41:27):
Well, you have your hands, they're there with you,
they're just yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:31):
But I can't like use them.
Speaker 1 (41:33):
Well, I mean you could.
Speaker 3 (41:35):
I mean, have you ever played Resident Evil 7?
Biohazard, just throw some goopjuice on.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
it Makes your hands grow back.
Speaker 2 (41:41):
But is there goop juice in there?
Speaker 1 (41:43):
No, you just have your hands.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
Sounds like I'm eating sushi.
Why are you gonna bring up thegoop juice biting my way out?
That's what I'm gonna do justuse the goop juice.
Speaker 1 (41:59):
Is there any?
Speaker 3 (42:00):
no, okay eric, you wake up.
You said, you're eating sushiwait.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
Why am I?
Speaker 2 (42:14):
getting thrown into this.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
That wasn't the plan yeah, all you got is I go to the
rib cage of the of the whaleand I start tickling him with my
tootsies, yeah, until hesneezes me out.
Yeah, I think you survived.
Give yourself a point, cool,hey, hey, thanks, thanks, man.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
So interestingly enough, Fenriris says Whales
have ambergris.
Slap it on.
You know what ambergris is?
Uh-uh, A solid waxy substanceproduced in the digestive system
of sperm whales.
Initially it has a marine fecalodor, but after floating in the
ocean for several years ithardens and develops a fragrant
scent, making it a covetedingredient in fine perfumes oh
(43:00):
great, yeah, that's fuckingdisgusting.
Speaker 3 (43:02):
You can get real money for that shit.
I heard like, if you find thatshit like on the beach or
whatever, all right, I'm gonnagive you a real one.
Speaker 2 (43:09):
I'm not gonna fuck with you like dumb shit hey, I
survived.
Hey, you had your hands wouldyou rather survive a zombie
apocalypse in a fortified sizeskyscraper with limited supplies
but great visibility, or in awell-stocked underground bunker
where you're completely cut offfrom the outside world?
Speaker 1 (43:29):
Bunker.
Can I ask follow-up questions?
Speaker 2 (43:33):
Yeah.
How apocalyptic is this worldIs there like almost no
survivors or you know that iskind of the hardest thing to
answer, because if you choosethe bunker you don't know.
Speaker 1 (43:44):
So this is like right in the beginning.
Speaker 2 (43:45):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
I'm deciding.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
Yep, you know it's bad.
You know governments arefalling in a skyscraper, a
fortified skyscraper withlimited supplies but great
visibility.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
No, I'm gonna go bunker.
Yeah I.
I think I move in with tj.
We'll just play fortnight thewhole time this fucking guy's
ditty though until it eric, he'sgonna pull out the baby oil.
Speaker 3 (44:07):
Eric, would you rather he's into twinks, he said
eric, would you rather havegames, unlimited games, so many
games but no games, or what?
Speaker 1 (44:18):
yeah, I'm with alex, here.
What?
Speaker 2 (44:24):
would you rather have games, unlimited games, so many
games, but no games would yourather have oxygen, but you're
in space have you even seen thehamburger cheeseburger on my
screen?
Speaker 3 (44:41):
oh no, oh nice interesting okay but,
Speaker 2 (44:46):
no games um.
You guys both think bunker, huhyeah, bunker.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
I think bunker.
Speaker 2 (44:51):
I go fortified skyscraper.
I can't go underground in anapocalypse.
Speaker 3 (44:58):
We're gamers.
Motherfucker.
We'll be underground for yearsand be fine.
Speaker 1 (45:02):
Yeah, it would be like COVID.
My life really would not changethat much If it's just me and
Eric.
Speaker 3 (45:07):
we'll set up little game rooms on opposite sides.
You go underground and we'llstill play, you don't know
anything, we'll play LAN fromother sides and we'll act like
it's online.
Speaker 2 (45:14):
You guys are going to be underground for decades and
the world will have moved onfrom it.
Speaker 1 (45:19):
Yeah, we'll know who the CSGO champ between the two
of us is.
Speaker 3 (45:22):
We got our Steam libraries.
Speaker 1 (45:24):
Yeah, okay, and our unlimited.
Speaker 3 (45:26):
Unlimited games.
Speaker 1 (45:27):
So many games but no games, maybe we'll actually beat
it.
Takes Two.
Speaker 2 (45:33):
All right.
So what's the verdict?
Host?
Speaker 1 (45:36):
Well, I've been keeping track of points which I
don't normally do Valid, Validand after all the scenarios and,
truthfully, your guys' twoscenarios really made a
difference in who won Drumroll.
Please, we have Alex as thewinner with 12 points and TJ
(46:00):
with 11.
What the fuck?
There was something TJ saidearlier in the episode that was
so funny and I don't rememberwhat it was, but yeah, that was
very funny and that had him inthe episode.
That was so funny and I don'tremember what it was, but yeah,
that was very funny and that hadhim in the lead for a while.
Speaker 3 (46:15):
Josh but his scenario .
Speaker 2 (46:19):
Josh.
His scenario didn't help him.
Josh help.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
His scenario.
His scenario did not help him,josh, and yours did.
You guys were able to earnpoints for either the scenario
that I gave you or the follow-up, so either one could have
earned you points.
In some cases, you guys earnedtwo points in one round.
In some cases you earned one.
In, I think, one case someoneearned zero.
Speaker 3 (46:43):
Josh, give me the win , and my life is yours.
Speaker 1 (46:49):
Side note I also have one point, so that's cool.
Speaker 2 (46:52):
Nice.
Speaker 3 (46:53):
Eric, let me get that point, and then we can do a tie
beater and it'll be funny.
Speaker 1 (46:58):
Well, those what should we call it?
Those rounds I'm sorry.
Those two rounds that you guysjust made up was the tiebreaker.
Speaker 3 (47:06):
Oh oh well you didn't even let me do another one.
I feel like I should getanother one just why would you
get two?
Speaker 1 (47:14):
yeah, I think we're good on time actually, so uh
we're really, really not.
Speaker 3 (47:19):
This is gonna be like a 20 minute episode probably
alex is gonna be.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
When did you start recording?
Alex is going to be our nexthost, next episode.
Speaker 2 (47:29):
Josh.
Speaker 1 (47:32):
Help me Really quick, Alex Winterspeed Josh.
Speaker 2 (47:36):
Thank you all for contributing to my win.
I'm so grateful for it all.
I hope that you'll go check usout on all of our socials.
Go check us out on TikTok,Instagram, Facebook.
Will you Survive the Podcast?
You can also search us up.
Will you survive the podcast onyoutube as well.
Send your emails to the boys at.
(47:57):
Will you survive the podcastcom?
That's t-h-e-b-o-y-s at.
Will you survive the podcastcom?
let us know if you have anymovies or suggestions that of
topics you would like us tocover.
Any other critiques, criticisms, anything like that, I would
also take that.
Speaker 3 (48:14):
He uses the email for his Pornhub account.
Speaker 1 (48:18):
Having a Pornhub account is crazy.
Speaker 3 (48:20):
We keep getting updates on our phones and we're
like whose fucking account isthis?
Me and Eric talked it's his.
Speaker 1 (48:25):
If you have a Pornhub account, it means that you're
commenting, and that's crazybehavior.
Speaker 2 (48:29):
I exclusively go on to P.
We went through his favoriteslist and it's fucking absolutely
wild.
Speaker 1 (48:34):
You don't even watch them, you just comment.
Speaker 2 (48:35):
Don't even watch the videos, I just comment.
It's just people in the woods,I just like to be there to watch
.
Speaker 1 (48:39):
I just like to watch the ones where he's like that's
not how you start a fire, that'snot how you start a fire.
Speaker 3 (48:49):
These two dudes are rubbing their sticks together
and it's not starting to fire,right.
Speaker 1 (48:52):
That's not very realistic.
Speaker 2 (48:54):
That is not what you would want to do in that
scenario.
Speaker 1 (48:57):
That water looks way too cold.
Speaker 2 (48:58):
If you guys are stuck out in the woods, the last
thing you want to do is takeyour clothes off.
Speaker 3 (49:04):
Do I get a loser?
Speaker 1 (49:05):
speech Sure.
What do you want to say?
Josh, josh, give me the win,please, josh, and until next
time, stay alive okay, as yourhost, uh, I will say loser and
until next time, stay alivejoshua, give me the win.
Speaker 3 (49:28):
It'll be fun if you give me the win.
It'll be fun if you give me thewin.
You.
Hello, hello, survivors, and welcome to
another episode of Will youSurvive.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
The Podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
This is a podcast where we watch a movie and then
we talk about said movie and wetalk about all the survival
aspects of it, except this timewe didn't watch a movie.
So get tricked, get pranked.
We are doing something that Iwant to call survive or die.
Uh, and my two contestantstoday will be alex that's me and
(00:54):
tj.
I have ravioli, he has ravioli.
Therefore, he has an advantagein all survival situations I
have adult applesauce that couldbe a detriment.
Now, what would the equivalentof that be?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
chunky, jello, jello shots no, what would the
equivalent?
Maybe just fermented applesauceum, ew, you know, you know what
it could be.
It could be uh, it could be itcould be like a uh, what do they
call it?
What do they call it?
It has a name, but it's likeadult watermelon put a bottle of
oh yeah, I've done that, that,that.
That'll mess you up.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
That'll mess you up, yeah that's insane.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
I would.
I don't think I'll do thatanytime soon again, and I did
that a long time ago.
Last time I did, it was 2020.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
What about the one?
Speaker 1 (01:39):
chip.
It's painful.
So let me introduce you guys tothis survive or die format that
we're going to do here.
I'm going to present each ofyou It'll be one at a time, so
we'll go back and forth I'mgoing to present each of you
with a situation and then anitem.
(02:00):
So the situation will be somesort of survival situation or
scenario that you might findyourself in, and I'm going to
give you an item at random froma long list that I have here.
I'm going to try to make itsomewhat challenging but usable.
I might give you somethingcompletely useless, so your goal
is to see what you can possiblycome up with to use this item
(02:24):
if it was the only thing you hadto help you survive these life
or death situations.
Do we understand?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I think so.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
It'll make more sense as we go.
Who wants to go first?
I'll go.
All right, alex, number one,you are stranded in the
wilderness for three days.
You somehow know it'll beexactly three days.
Your item is a tarp.
What would you do with saiditem?
You don't have to just talkabout the item.
You could talk about like.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Am I able to ask questions?
Sure, so what's the climatethat I'm in?
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Forest.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
I'm in.
Well, that's geography.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
What climate Is it tropical, let's say Redwood.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Forest Redwood Forest .
Speaker 1 (03:02):
What season is it?
We'll say it's like earlyspring.
Okay, so it's cold, all right.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
So it's going to get cold at night.
It'll be warm in the day,warm-ish in the day, okay.
So if I'm in the redwoods,there's most likely running
water somewhere.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Fair assumption.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
I have a tarp.
I think I would prefer to usethe tarp for shelter.
I could do one of a few things.
Having just the tarp.
I would have to try to find someway to tie up the tarp to give
me cover.
That would give me enough coverin the day that I wouldn't get
heat exhaustion or sunstroke,and it would give me pretty good
(03:43):
cover if I do it right, lowenough to my body that I can
contain some body heat and staysemi-warm at night.
Maybe even put it up at anangle where I have the fire in
front of me and the tarp behindme so it reflects a little bit
of heat at me.
I think that would be.
The best case scenario is touse the tarp for shelter instead
of trying to use it for wateror anything like that.
(04:05):
Because I have three days, if Iknow I only have three days.
I can go without food and Icould even manage to go without
water for that long if Icouldn't find it in that period
of time I don't know if I couldgo without food for that long
but I would not be able to gowithout shelter in the night at
uh, in the redwood forests.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
That's my answer okay , I'm gonna switch things up a
little bit.
Uh, tj.
Yeah, give me a different waythat you would use that item.
I want to clarify also I'm notgrading purely on practicality.
I'm a silly goose, so we canget a little creative with these
if we want to.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
What I was gonna say thanks for fucking telling me
that now well for the as we goon.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
you got a point Because I was thinking that what
I would use a tarp for would beshelter.
That is what I would use it for.
I would create some sort oflike a stick frame in a T shape
and put the tarp over to protectyou from rain and then put a
fire right outside so that theheat gets trapped inside with
you.
Very valid idea.
I also imagine it's going torain because it's the Redwood
(05:07):
Forest.
So what would you use it for?
Tj.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
Okay, say I'm just, you know, dropped here.
I just wake up.
There's a tarp, I'm in aRedwood Forest, I'm nowhere near
home.
I have no Redwoods in the statethat I live in.
I'm going to tie the tarparound my neck and run around
like a cape uh, caped crusaderand uh, if I run in one
direction, eventually I'll getsomewhere.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
I don't hate the idea .
I do feel like you'd scare awayit'll attract attention if
there's anybody nearby.
If it doesn't, I guess I'm deadI think you'd also scare away
the most of the bears that areup there, because those are
black bears up there, right andyeah, yeah.
So I think that uh, I mean yeah, I think that's an idea.
Yeah, yeah, okay, I like thatone.
All right, so, tj, you had apoint.
By the way, alex, tj, for yourscenario zombies break into your
(05:52):
house.
The item that you have is atent pole.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
How many zombies?
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Let's say oh, it just says zombies, so let's just say
one Single zombie.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
Yeah, single zombie have you ever seen?
Daredevil, I yes, okay,depending on which one billy
clubs where, okay it's twosticks and then, if you take
them apart, there's a string.
What?
does the tent pole have theexact same thing.
So I'm gonna do the best I canusing that tent pole.
You know I'm uh, yeah, tentpoles are pretty long.
Let's say this one's like sixfeet, you know sure.
(06:24):
You know Sure, you knowReasonable If I can take it in
half and use the string, wrap itaround their head and just
violently smash their face intomy knee and see what happens.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Hmm, okay, okay, I must say I do fear there's a
risk of being bit.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
That's no Smashing a zombie's head into your knee.
I wear very thick jeans all thetime.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Okay, I would have liked to hear knee pads more in
that situation.
But, sure, very thick denimjeans, three pairs because it's
cold.
Okay, sure, alex, how would youuse a tent pole if a zombie
broke into your house?
Speaker 2 (06:59):
How would I use a tent pole?
Okay, here's my idea.
My idea is I would want to usesomething more practical and
wrangle a zombie.
Let's say something like I'm ina household.
I'm in a house, so I'm going tosay I have a pillowcase and I
can tie it around the zombie'shead to prevent myself from
(07:21):
getting bit very easily.
And then I would use the tentpole to, randomly and without
warning, whip the zombie allover.
I am talking torture.
I am going to whip it and askit why it broke into my house.
I am going to take out allaggression that I have on this
zombie and I'm going to makesure all of his friends know
(07:41):
don't fuck with me.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
That is an interesting idea, uh, treating
them more like animals thananything.
Uh, and torturing them also atthe same time.
Uh, interesting, okay, uh, Ilost my.
There we go.
I lost my sheep for a second, Igot scared.
Okay, uh, torture it.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
That's an interesting approach and also uh, fenriris
points out that tj anopportunity he could have gotten
away with apple-bottom jeans.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
I'm glad he didn't, do I have the boots with the fur
or no?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Do you?
I don't know, do you?
Speaker 3 (08:12):
Okay, I've got the whole club.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
We're looking at her.
Alex, yes, alex Okay.
Alex yes, you are locked in awalk-in freezer oh, that's awful
the only item that you happento have on you is a fire starter
.
Is there anything you can thinkto do in a walk-in freezer with
(08:35):
a fire starter?
Speaker 2 (08:36):
um, I am in a walk-in freezer.
I'm locked in there with a firestarter.
Ah, okay, um, obvious thing.
Could I even, potentially,start a fire?
Not wise, because they areairtight.
Is it on?
Yes, it is on, okay, um, with afire starter which?
Uh, which type of fire starterdo you know?
(08:58):
like a magnesium and flint okay,something that doesn't matter
if it's easy to do and the steelis hard but not doesn't have
leverage for like stabby power,I wouldn't be able to poke my
way out of it.
Um, so this fricking thing ison, I'm locked in and all I have
is a fire starter and whateverbelongs in the walk-in freezer.
(09:18):
Let me see, I I don't thinkthere's a whole lot I can do
with a fire starter in a freezer, so I would probably try to God
.
Okay, this is tough because awalk-in freezer is pretty large,
but it's not an indefiniteamount of oxygen, although the
oxygen is pulled from outside.
(09:41):
So I'm thinking really the onlything I would have a good
possibility of doing is usingthe steel and stopping the fan
blade and eventually burning upthe motor so that I don't freeze
to death, because it won't takeme long to freeze in a walk-in
freezer if that motor is stillon and if I can't do anything
else.
I can't start a fire withanything that's frozen.
(10:03):
I'm trying to think ofeverything I knew of when I was
in a freezer.
There's nothing in there thatwould be lightable, everything
is frozen, everything is wet,everything is hard.
That's the only thing I couldthink of doing is breaking the
motor so that I at least don'tfreeze to death.
In the next three hours I wouldprobably have many more hours
of oxygen that I could breatheto try to figure out how to get
(10:26):
out of this walk-in.
So I think that's what I wouldhave to do.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
I like that answer because I would not have thought
to do that.
I'll tell you my idea in asecond TJ.
What would you do with a firestarter in a walk-in freezer?
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Can you do a little bit of research for me?
Speaker 1 (10:45):
I think I might have already done the research that
you're going to ask.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
What would you like me to research?
I definitely don't think thatyou did.
Is refrigerant flammable?
Speaker 1 (10:53):
I did not you're right, I looked up if there's
fire sprinklers in walk-infreezers there's not, they're
dry probably is refrigerantflammable oh my god, that's a
top search.
Not flammable, but some can be.
Depends on the type.
R410a is common in modern hvacsystems, but this isn't really
(11:13):
it's not an hvac.
Yeah, this is, this is um arerefrigerants refrigerant or is
refrigerant used in walk-infreezers flammable while y'all
were searching?
Speaker 3 (11:25):
in most cases, no, no , yeah.
So my original idea was to stopthe fan, because in the back of
most commercial walk-infreezers there are like, there's
like the condenser unit, thefan and whatever.
But then he, you know, he saidthat, um, I was, I wasn't gonna
use the fire starter to do it, Iwas gonna be like oh, walk-in
(11:46):
freezer, there's probably food,I don't know, throw a fucking
strip of ribs in there orsomething.
See what happens, chuck a hamin there.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Yeah, just yeah beat it with a frozen chicken, you
know um, you know, I admire, Iadmire your guys's knowledge of
that, because I would have justtried to start a fire in there
yeah, yeah, yeah, not gonna, Ijust tried to light a ham on
fire or something or cheese, orso I had.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
I think cheese would burn.
I had a lot of years in walk-infreezers so I knew that there's
no way you can light anythingon fire in there I was on top of
one on friday, um anyways sojust for factual uh information
here uh, walk-in refrigerant, uh, walk-in freezers typically use
one of three peron, suva orgenitron, and they're all brands
(12:31):
of r410a, which is allnon-flammable good to know I was
going to use that to like starta fire, to be specific um, now
I'm not going to survive this,because if there's nobody around
, you're not going to be.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
There's no oxygen coming in other than like you're
not really flammable.
Yeah, no, uh, I think I'm justgonna pull on the refrigerant
line, have it leak and, uh, justhuff on that.
You know, feel, feel, feel goodtill uh, till I freeze to death
all right, yeah, hey, hey, youknow what?
Speaker 1 (12:59):
I'll give you a point for that.
Speaker 3 (13:00):
I like hey, because that shit does get you like
that's some joker shit rightthere.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
If you gotta go, go with a smile yeah, seriously, I
kind of dig it all right, tj.
Flood waters are rising in yourapartment.
The item that you have is aplunger where's the water coming
?
From?
Uh, undetermined.
What color is the water?
Um, I mean, it looks.
It looks like water.
It's got like a light kind ofdirty tint to it.
Is anywhere else flooded?
Or just my apartment?
Uh, well, so far it looks likewater.
It's got like a light kind ofdirty tint to it.
(13:26):
Is anywhere else flooded?
Speaker 3 (13:27):
or just my apartment.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Well, so far it seems like your apartment, but you do
live on the first floor, so itcould be a tsunami, it could be
anything, okay, okay.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
And my goal is to survive.
Yeah, and I have a plunger.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
You have a plunger.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
What's the handle made out of?
Just a quick question.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
All right, got it Red plunger tip.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
I am going to run to the furthest room that is not
filling with water.
Stack shit on top of each other.
As you say, I live on the firstfloor.
I will then use the plunger tobash a hole in the ceiling.
Now, stay with me here.
Stay with me here.
(14:12):
Okay, I'm following as I'mbashing holes in the ceiling.
I'm doing it in like a perfectcircular.
You know motion.
Then I then rip the drywalldown.
I'm assuming that there'sinsulation.
Rip that down, right so all overyour face, okay it's yeah, it
might not be fiberglass, itcould be like sheep's wool or it
(14:34):
could be like you know, sprayyou know shit like that.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
I'm the narrator here fiberglass it is your lungs
hate you right now.
Go on, it's fine, it's fineit's fine.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
I will locate a sort of duct or maybe a beam of some
sort, try to climb up a littlebit and start bashing my way up
through the ceiling up into myneighbor's apartment, and then I
will do that again and againuntil I reach the roof.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Okay, alex, you're on your first floor apartment.
Floodwaters are.
You're on your second floorapartment rising?
Somebody you're on your firstfloor apartment, floodwaters are
rising in your apartment andyou have a plunger.
(15:28):
What do you do?
Speaker 2 (15:29):
okay, judging by the way you worded this, you said
floodwaters are rising in myapartment, but is it just my
apartment, or is it floodwatersundetermined?
Well, first thing I'm gonna dois look out the window there's
no water I'm gonna open thefront door okay, you let out a
bunch of water.
I let let the water out.
Now I'm to try to find outwhere the water's coming from.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Your floors are disgusting now.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Yeah, they would be absolutely wretched.
But before I start worryingabout cleanup, I'm going to look
for the source of the water.
Was it a toilet?
It?
Speaker 1 (16:05):
was a toilet.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
So now I shut off the water so no more water comes in
, and try to plunge it.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
All right, congratulations, you've solved
the situation.
Tj, you owe your neighbors ashit ton of money in floor
repairs.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
It's probably my neighbor's fault, no one's who
clogged up the goddamn system.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
I hear him shitting at the fucking 3 in the morning
right through the fucking wallslike in here at the pipes TJ's
toilet floods and he's likethat's it breaking the ceiling.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
I'm not getting stuck in here with this that was so
epic.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
I was hearing it happen and I'm like I think
there's a simpler way butthere's nothing more badass than
using a plunger to breakthrough the ceiling you know how
long that must take you I thinkthat would also be kind of cool
drywall isn't that hard tobreak through but the insulation
(17:10):
and the studs well, you're notbreaking through the studs, but
as soon as you hit the stud, thera.
But as soon as you hit the stud,the rafters.
As soon as you hit the rafters,you know, just move on, move
over a couple of inches.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
Every 18 inches.
Eric, did you know that?
I did not know that.
If you need to hang somethingup now, you know, maybe hang up
those fucking paintings thathave been in the corner of your
room for fucking two years.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Those aren't paintings.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Those are not paintings.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Those are sound panels that have been there for
about the last year and a half.
Hang them up.
They need to go into studs.
I don't feel like drilling intothe walls.
They're kind of just going tosit there and be decoration
forever now, alex, yeah, you areasleep in your bed and you hear
the front door first open.
(17:54):
There's a home invasionhappening.
You reach over, you grab fromyour nightstand your weapon of
choice, and it's a pair ofsunglasses.
What do you do?
Speaker 2 (18:06):
I've reached over and my weapon of choice are
sunglasses.
Yeah, I strip down completely,fucking butt naked.
I put those sunglasses on, Istep out into the hallway and I
tell them now you fucked up,because rape is only a five-year
sentence that is insane.
(18:26):
Nothing to say is a lifesentence.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Now get over here that is a terrifying thing.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
That's horrifying knowledge to have I don't have
the right number on the sentencethere, but it was it was meant
to be drastic because it's it'sfar less for and I should.
I shouldn't have said the wordbecause it's like no, I'm bad on
all social media.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
I respect that.
All right, tj, you're in yourhouse, so you break into a house
and this guy I'm gonna so tjI'm gonna I'm gonna assume it's
not alex.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Alex did not break into your house.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
I'm gonna assume that alex and I are roommates.
Nice, so he's alreadyconfronted them.
I whisper to my Alexa Alexa,enter ditty mode.
All of the LED lights in thehouse go red.
I put on my sunglasses, stripbutterball naked, except for my
(19:27):
g-string.
I always keep on me.
I then lube myself up with allof the baby oil, I keep in my
secret cabinet below the stairsand I slide at the attacker.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
You better hand me a bottle.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Well, you guys went a way different route than I was
thinking you might go down.
I figured both of you knewMortal Kombat and might try to
become Johnny Cage.
Sunglasses are kind of his mainthing, but the going full Diddy
Party on the Invader is a turnof events I did not see coming.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
Now imagine a fucking multiple hundred pound man
sliding at you on the floor athigh speeds, at least 40.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Like a seal.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
Like a goddamn seal Making the same noises too.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
TJ's tall.
Tj's tall and big.
That would be horrifyingTorpedo For him to come sliding
down the hallway at Mach 10.
Okay, tj, next situation.
I have a very specific solutionin mind for this that I don't
(20:42):
know if either of you are goingto get.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
But for my entertainment I'm going to do it
.
You are on the run from a bearand all you have is your voice.
Tj, what do you tell this bear?
What kind of bear?
We'll say it's a brown bear.
So yelling at it isn't usuallygoing to make it go away.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
Where am I?
Speaker 1 (21:08):
at You're in the redwoods, okay, where there's
not usually brown bears.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
I don't know what a big hairy brown man is doing in
the redwoods, Okay, when there'snot usually brown bears.
I don't know what a big hairybrown man is doing in the woods,
but you know.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
That's what the bear is wondering.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
I'll let him know I'm not interested More in the
twinks myself.
I'll tell him I have a friend,eric, who I think he'd be really
into, and then I send him thenice man on his way, the very
homo sexual man, very hairy,that's what they call it All
(21:43):
right.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
All right, DJ Alex.
You said he was brown, so yeah,no, you nailed it, you won.
You won that one.
You nailed it, you won.
You won that one.
You got me.
That wasn't what I was, that'snot at all what I had in mind,
but you beat me at my own gamethere, so I can't say you're
(22:06):
wrong.
Alex, how would you survive abrown bear with just your voice?
How would I survive a?
Speaker 2 (22:16):
brown bear, with just my voice, I think what I would
have to do.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
He's thinking about a big, hairy brown man.
I am not.
He's trying to stop thinkingabout it.
I'm thinking of a brown bear.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
I'm trying to think.
Raul.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
I closed my eyes and I got a very vivid picture of
exactly what a Raul would looklike if he was a bear.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
In my head.
He looks like the guy whoplayed Gomez Adams in Wednesday.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
It's along those lines.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
It's along those lines, yeah, so we got a lore
for our whole.
Speaker 3 (23:04):
That's so stupid.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
So I think the only thing I can do in trying to
survive a brown bear, the onlything I have is my voice.
Is it charging at me?
Speaker 1 (23:16):
yes, you're on the run from it I'm on the run, oh
man that's already secondsthat's the first dumb thing that
I've done.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Uh, I'm running from the bear.
It's gonna catch me any secondnow.
Uh, god, I don't know.
I think the only thing I can dois cry, scream.
Tell the bear, I didn't mean it, what I did to its family
what'd you do to its family?
That's between me and the bear.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Okay, shit, ask Alexa .
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Now I'm taking the bear's side, all right.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Well, my answer which I thought was really funny, but
it's only really funny to me isI would turn around and go no
Stop, I don't like this game.
That's one of my favorite jokesof all time, tag you're it.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
No, stop, tag, you're it.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
No, stop.
I don't like this game.
Oh my God.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
It's my favorite joke of all time.
It's so funny.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
Yeah, Raul would have thought that was funny.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
Raul would have thought that was funny raul
gomez alex.
Yep, you are in a hostagesituation in a kitchen.
Your loved one pick whoever isheld hostage in your kitchen.
You reach over and you grabyour weapon of choice, a rolling
pin.
What do you do?
Speaker 2 (24:44):
well, how is this my weapon of choice?
Speaker 1 (24:47):
you chose it.
It's right there, it's it'sthere was a gun next to it, but
you grab the rolling pin.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
I don't know what to tell you.
Why would I grab the rollingpin?
Speaker 1 (24:54):
why did you grab the rolling pin?
Yeah, you gotta tell us why.
Clearly, it's your weapon ofchoice.
You had a thought behind this.
Speaker 3 (25:01):
You knew what you were gonna do your wife even
dramatically said babe, get thepin I pick up the rolling pin
when you grab the pin, corinnegoes.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
She looks at the hostage guy and she goes you
fucked up now I tell the hostagetaker now that I have my
rolling pin, I can do one of twothings I can make you start the
s or I can smash you in thehead with this.
One of those two things isgoing to happen next.
Which do you choose?
Speaker 1 (25:29):
He asks you if you can do corn tortillas.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Absolutely, they're easy.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Well, you won them over, because Mexican food makes
every situation better.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
Always, you're not supposed to use a rolling pin
for corn tortillas.
You got to use a little pressthing.
You can.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
No, oh my God, you fucking cheater you.
Speaker 3 (25:48):
How dare you nah, dude, the press gets imperfectly
circular.
I want to do that for flowertoo, but that's ridiculous.
I don't know, goddamn oblong,fucking corn tortilla with your
hands.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
That's how you do it.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
Real mexicans do it with their hands no, the fuck
they don't, because I haveabuela and she uses that shit
because she's got arthritis.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Come on, exactly.
It's a good way to do it.
You just get too.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
I don't have arthritis fool.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
That's the fuck you do.
Stop lying to yourself.
Fuck you, I do.
My hand was hurting so bad.
The other day I was rubbing mypinky.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
I know you have plantar fasciitis in your left
foot.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
I wonder if I have.
Oh, fuck you, I do too in myright foot.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
This is getting personal asshole I got up a
little too quick the other dayand I felt a little pop in the
middle of my foot.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
I was like ew, that's what I say, man when in my
youth, all my injuries came fromskateboarding, snowboarding and
surfing.
Now, all my injuries came fromskateboarding, snowboarding and
surfing.
Now all my injuries come fromsitting down too long, standing
up too fast and sleeping wrong.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
I hurt my ankle by stepping on a drainpipe.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Ben Ruris said he stood up and the check engine
light came on.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
I'm sure you guys have done that, where you stand
up too fast and you really justfeel like every light in your
brain just goes nope.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Yep, sit back down.
That's right Now.
I stand up from my seat andgive it a moment before I walk
away.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Do I have to sit back down, or am I good to actually?
Speaker 2 (27:17):
move.
Do I have to sit back down?
Speaker 1 (27:19):
All right, tj, you are shipwrecked on a deserted
island and all you have is abunch of cases of rum.
What do you do?
Speaker 3 (27:26):
I have just a bunch of cases of rum.
Is there anything else on thebeach?
Is there any like uh, let's say, washed up uh jars?
Speaker 2 (27:34):
sure you've found a jar okay so if there's rum on
this beach, alex, I'm going totake one of the uh bottles of
rum.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
Okay, we get fucked up.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
I, I'm going to take that jar that I found.
I'm definitely there.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
Yeah, it has a lid, Perfectly preserved jar we got
here.
I'm going to go inland, dig upsome of the ground and throw it
in the jar.
I'm then going to go back tothe beach and, whilst holding
the jar of dirt with my wobblyrum legs, I'm going to start
sprinting and say I have a jarof dirt with my wobbly rum legs.
(28:06):
I'm going to start sprintingand say I have a jar of dirt.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
I have a jar of dirt.
Guess what's inside it?
You happen to tumble down aflight of stairs that were not
previously there before.
Yes, okay, yeah, you got apoint.
Uh, alex, you wake up on saiddeserted island.
You see tj dancing around witha jar of dirt and all you have
is a bunch of cases of rum.
What do you do?
Speaker 2 (28:27):
I'm wondering why the fuck those cases of rum are
still there.
Why haven't they been consumed?
If I am on a deserted islandwith TJ, something's going to
have to make him more attractive.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
No, no, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
You know I wasn't going to give you a point until
that last line.
I love it.
No, no, no.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
Wait, wait wait, wait , wait, all right.
Wow, he's going to use a lube,all right.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
Don't use the rum Rum lube.
Don't use the rum rum lubedon't use the rum no, no, no, no
, no.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
So we have exhausted the general scenarios.
Now we're going to go to ourgoofier scenarios.
Okay, alex, the floor is lavafor real this time.
Okay, and all you have areonion mitts.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Onion mitts.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
What Oven mitts?
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Ooh, what do you do?
All I have are oven mitts, andthe floor is lava.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
For real this time.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
Okay, I think I have something.
Okay, so I would have to findsomething that wouldn't combust
instantly.
Are we here, sure, and thisfloor right here is lava.
Ripped to the downstairsneighbors.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
Oh yeah, they're long gone.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
So then this desk will take a little bit of time.
I get on top of this desk.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
I will warn you, this desk is glass.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Yeah, that's okay, it's got metal underneath it.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
You don't think the heat would cause the glass to
shatter?
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Oh, it would for sure , but not right away.
It would temper it even further, making it the strongestible,
and I could ride the glass likea surfboard down the stairs to
safety.
Speaker 3 (30:09):
Stands on the glass, it melts.
He's like ah.
Now there's burning glass on mylegs and love.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
But if I still have the rum from the island, I'm not
caring.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Now what about the oven mitts?
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Oh, I wear those just for fun, just for fashion.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Just for fashion.
Speaker 3 (30:26):
That's interesting, okay, tj yes, there's a reason
I'm shouting.
I'm doing the podcast.
Thank you, I should just winall of that.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
Will you survive the podcast?
Speaker 3 (30:36):
no um okay, so he?
He clearly did not know of theancient technique of shoving
those damn oven mitts on my feetand walking right out, okay.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
Okay, I'll give you a point for it, because that is
the answer I was going for,although I will say oven mitts
aren't going to fit on your feet.
They'll definitely fit on myfeet.
They're not going to fit onyour feet.
Speaker 3 (31:01):
They'll definitely fit on my feet, not your big ass
feet either.
I have an oven mitt.
I will go grab a goddamn ovenand you're gonna have to hand
stand.
You're gonna have to hand standyour way out of there.
I will tippy toe my way ass outof there.
I don't care.
Yeah, it's gonna work out.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
You'll wear them like heels, exactly, okay, so we
also got three good comments onthis.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
Okay, hb says pick up big rocks and hop on them, like
mario.
Okay, cerilia says throw thepillows down and jump on them.
I like that.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
Works in regular floors Lava.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
And then, fenriris, the floor is lava.
What the hell is wrong withyour house?
We haven't determined that yet.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
No, this is really bad because we live on the third
floor.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
Third floor so if the bottom two floors are screwed
it's only a matter of time,because the ground level is
garage.
And now the next scenario thelava is floor, causing chaos
around the world, as all of themagma in the inner crust of the
earth turns to floor Damn Damn.
(31:56):
Turns to Ikea Fuck it Likeflooring.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
You just went specific there.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
Did you just read my notes?
The next scenario is Ikearelated.
Oh, my TJ, your next scenarioyou must escape an Ikea before
it closes forever.
And you have a compass with you.
I have a compass, you have acompass.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
Okay, everybody knows that every Ikea entrance faces
northwest.
That's just a fact.
No, yeah, it's literally.
Look it up, I can literallythink of one Literally looked it
up, because you know, if you'refacing the globe and you're
looking at Sweden, where is it?
Northwest?
Speaker 1 (32:37):
The entrances face the mountains.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
It faces northwest right.
Okay, so I get my compass.
Oh shit, yo, those are somereally cheap hand towels.
I can, I can't, I don't want to.
I keep going.
I run, I'm sprinting, I'mfollowing that yellow fucking
line that leads to everywhereand nowhere at the same time.
Uh, eventually I make my wayand I see a door.
(33:03):
I run right at it and I'm likeyes, finally exit.
I open the door Fuck amillennial kitchen.
I'm so thirsty at this pointI've been running for like 20
fucking minutes.
I turn on the sink in that room.
No water, because it's a fake,god damn it.
I leave.
I burst through the door again.
(33:24):
Ooh, really nice shelving.
Might put that in my office.
I leave.
I burst through the door again.
Ooh, really nice shelving.
Might put that in my office.
I have to stay focused.
I keep going.
I see somebody who works here.
Hi, sir, fuck, he's justwearing a blue shirt.
He doesn't work here.
He's lost, just like me.
What else can I do?
I strangle the man.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
I strangle him to death I strangle the man.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
I strangle him to death.
Speaker 3 (33:44):
He's the another man.
I cut him into pieces, I throwhim on the stove.
It doesn't work, gotta go raw.
I eat the man because I knowI'm never making it out of this
IKEA live.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
Okay, alex, I'm scared to ask you now.
You're stuck in an IKEA andyour goal is to get out before
it closes forever.
There's also a psychopathinside the Ikea now and you have
a compass.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
You're in an Ikea.
A man sprints at you.
Speaker 1 (34:17):
A man sprints at you with half a leg hanging out of
his mouth and a knife in hishand.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
I look down and see what color shirt I am wearing,
to ensure I'm not dressed as anikea employee you're wearing a
red shirt, you're safe okay, soI don't worry about the
psychopath right away well, youthink it's a gray shirt, but
yeah all right, that's a nicegray shirt you got on, but you
know.
Okay, we don't have to go there.
(34:43):
So I think the first thing Iwant to do is is there a reason
why I'm worried about it closingforever?
Speaker 1 (34:50):
Oh, because if it closes, you'll be stuck inside
forever.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Can't I just break the glass?
Speaker 1 (34:54):
No, it becomes magic If you can find it, it becomes
magic.
It's the most D&D answer I'veever given you.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
I think the way that I'm going to be able to do this
is follow the motherfuckingarrows on the ground.
They point you in the directionthat the whole flow is supposed
to go.
You're supposed to walk in thedirection that they lead you so
that you can experience all ofthe magic that Ikea has there
for you.
But they point everywhere andnowhere at the same time you can
(35:21):
see what your home would looklike.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
I agree with TJ.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
What.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
It points to everywhere and nowhere at the
same time.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
It points to everywhere and nowhere.
Yep, well, I don't care.
I want to see what my bedroomshould look like.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
I want to see what my kitchen should look like.
You explore each individualroom.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
Each and every one.
I will exhaust Ikea, Ikea bythe end will spit me out and say
say, I have had enough of thisfucking asshole I respect that,
that even ikea, the buildingitself, would say I've had
enough because you know can'thandle me inside of you that
long that's starts to hurt.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
Well, I almost took away your point now.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
So you can't be getting sensitive on me all
right, alex.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
You are surrounded by a swarm of aggressive squirrels
.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
All you have is a blender.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
Oh, let's do it.
Is that blender plugged in?
Speaker 1 (36:17):
It's got its magic powered.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
Squirrel puree.
Oh no, I love that they'reaggressive.
I'm going to open it up and I'mgoing to try to catch every
single one of them inside of itwhile that thing is going, and
I'm going to point it at thenext one just so I can get the
remnants of one of them on theother one before it goes in the
blender as well.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
Psychic damage.
I like it.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
I am going to pulverize them all, puree every
single one of them.
There will be nothing left ofthese squirrels.
So if you're listening,squirrel, stop eating my
freaking oranges.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
I think Alex has a grudge and might bring a blender
to work now.
Speaker 2 (36:58):
Only if it's magic.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
TJ, what would you do with a magic blender surrounded
by a swarm of aggressivesquirrels.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
I would simply talk to them to just just to their,
to their inner nature of wantingthis dope ass, fucking blender.
I, I, I.
I will definitely get throughto them.
They will take me to theirsquirrel chief.
I will give him nuts frombeyond his lands and promise
more, and I will give him ablender as gay shall use it to
(37:30):
make nut butter.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
I kind of dig it.
If I'm being honest, that's arevolutionary idea.
Speaker 3 (37:41):
They've known solid nuts their whole life.
They've never had a nut butter.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
To speak to Chief Squirrel and sell his
civilization a blender.
That's ultimate salesman stuffright there, just I'm like billy
may.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
Billy may's here with the new magic blender.
You see, one, two, three, it'sblended.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
It even works underwater they are blending
here with the new slap, chopacorn butter.
Acorn butter.
I like that.
Yeah, that's really going toopen up the possibilities of
squirrel civilization.
I think you've altered thefuture forever.
Yeah, tj.
Yes, an evil AI has trapped youinside of a smart home.
(38:26):
All you have is I'm decidingbetween two different things.
All you have is I'm decidingbetween two different things.
All you have is a roll of ducttape and you're stuck inside of
a smart home by an evil AI.
What do you do?
I?
Speaker 3 (38:39):
am going to learn the ins and outs of its sight on
the house.
I guarantee there's at leastone spot where it cannot see.
I find that spot.
I take the duct tape and I makethe sexiest pair of lingerie
bralette and panties that I canmake.
(38:59):
I put it on.
I then walk into the site ofthe house.
It's talking to me.
It's like what are you doing,sir?
I'm like freaky time, alexaditty music.
Bam bam, bam, bam, bam bam.
Sir, I'm like freaky time,alexa diddy music.
I then do the sexiest stripshow that this ai house has ever
seen.
It is actually horrified.
(39:20):
It then bursts into flames,leaving me inside.
I burned to death, so you oh,so you don't survive it.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
Uh, but hear me out.
Speaker 3 (39:29):
Okay, interesting, and that's why I think I should
get a point yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
Okay, Alex, you're stuck inside of a smart home by
an evil AI and all you have is aroll of duct tape.
What do you do?
Speaker 2 (39:41):
Okay, I am going to cover all the cameras with the
duct tape.
Speaker 3 (39:46):
All right Boring.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
And then I'm going to wrap my hands in duct tape,
cover my wrists in the duct tapeand I'm going to smash on the
windows as hard as I can until Ibreak out.
Yeah, I know you like thesmashing part, hulk smash, and
I'm going to escape through awindow if it won't, let me out
of a door.
Speaker 3 (40:07):
Are you naked?
Speaker 2 (40:07):
I can be.
Speaker 3 (40:10):
I mean most of the time I am.
I feel like this plan can onlywork if you're naked.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
Then I'm naked.
I get naked first, then I wrapmy fists all in duct tape, I
smash the window out and then Iescape to be arrested for being
naked.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
With a brand new circumcision.
I break all of the glass out Onthe way out.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
I'm not crazy.
A little of the glass on theway out.
Speaker 3 (40:33):
I'm not crazy a little off the top, please,
thank you.
No way I don't play that game.
Keep it clean, cut.
Don't push me back.
I like your cut.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
G low taper fate okay , well, um, that's all I got.
Scenarioswise, are there as abonus round.
Would each of you like to giveeach other a survival scenario
(40:58):
with an item we could do, goofyor realistic, anybody have an
idea?
We don't have to do this part,but if you guys want to, I got
one.
Speaker 3 (41:09):
Okay, go ahead, alex.
You wake up In the stomach of awhale and all you have Are your
hands.
That's it, you got your hands.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
They are, they are.
Speaker 3 (41:19):
Detached from your body Because, as you were like
Reaching out, like to get out Ofthe whale, it got bit off a
little bit.
Speaker 2 (41:26):
So I don't even have my hands.
Speaker 3 (41:27):
Well, you have your hands, they're there with you,
they're just yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:31):
But I can't like use them.
Speaker 1 (41:33):
Well, I mean you could.
Speaker 3 (41:35):
I mean, have you ever played Resident Evil 7?
Biohazard, just throw some goopjuice on.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
it Makes your hands grow back.
Speaker 2 (41:41):
But is there goop juice in there?
Speaker 1 (41:43):
No, you just have your hands.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
Sounds like I'm eating sushi.
Why are you gonna bring up thegoop juice biting my way out?
That's what I'm gonna do justuse the goop juice.
Speaker 1 (41:59):
Is there any?
Speaker 3 (42:00):
no, okay eric, you wake up.
You said, you're eating sushiwait.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
Why am I?
Speaker 2 (42:14):
getting thrown into this.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
That wasn't the plan yeah, all you got is I go to the
rib cage of the of the whaleand I start tickling him with my
tootsies, yeah, until hesneezes me out.
Yeah, I think you survived.
Give yourself a point, cool,hey, hey, thanks, thanks, man.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
So interestingly enough, Fenriris says Whales
have ambergris.
Slap it on.
You know what ambergris is?
Uh-uh, A solid waxy substanceproduced in the digestive system
of sperm whales.
Initially it has a marine fecalodor, but after floating in the
ocean for several years ithardens and develops a fragrant
scent, making it a covetedingredient in fine perfumes oh
(43:00):
great, yeah, that's fuckingdisgusting.
Speaker 3 (43:02):
You can get real money for that shit.
I heard like, if you find thatshit like on the beach or
whatever, all right, I'm gonnagive you a real one.
Speaker 2 (43:09):
I'm not gonna fuck with you like dumb shit hey, I
survived.
Hey, you had your hands wouldyou rather survive a zombie
apocalypse in a fortified sizeskyscraper with limited supplies
but great visibility, or in awell-stocked underground bunker
where you're completely cut offfrom the outside world?
Speaker 1 (43:29):
Bunker.
Can I ask follow-up questions?
Speaker 2 (43:33):
Yeah.
How apocalyptic is this worldIs there like almost no
survivors or you know that iskind of the hardest thing to
answer, because if you choosethe bunker you don't know.
Speaker 1 (43:44):
So this is like right in the beginning.
Speaker 2 (43:45):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
I'm deciding.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
Yep, you know it's bad.
You know governments arefalling in a skyscraper, a
fortified skyscraper withlimited supplies but great
visibility.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
No, I'm gonna go bunker.
Yeah I.
I think I move in with tj.
We'll just play fortnight thewhole time this fucking guy's
ditty though until it eric, he'sgonna pull out the baby oil.
Speaker 3 (44:07):
Eric, would you rather he's into twinks, he said
eric, would you rather havegames, unlimited games, so many
games but no games, or what?
Speaker 1 (44:18):
yeah, I'm with alex, here.
What?
Speaker 2 (44:24):
would you rather have games, unlimited games, so many
games, but no games would yourather have oxygen, but you're
in space have you even seen thehamburger cheeseburger on my
screen?
Speaker 3 (44:41):
oh no, oh nice interesting okay but,
Speaker 2 (44:46):
no games um.
You guys both think bunker, huhyeah, bunker.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
I think bunker.
Speaker 2 (44:51):
I go fortified skyscraper.
I can't go underground in anapocalypse.
Speaker 3 (44:58):
We're gamers.
Motherfucker.
We'll be underground for yearsand be fine.
Speaker 1 (45:02):
Yeah, it would be like COVID.
My life really would not changethat much If it's just me and
Eric.
Speaker 3 (45:07):
we'll set up little game rooms on opposite sides.
You go underground and we'llstill play, you don't know
anything, we'll play LAN fromother sides and we'll act like
it's online.
Speaker 2 (45:14):
You guys are going to be underground for decades and
the world will have moved onfrom it.
Speaker 1 (45:19):
Yeah, we'll know who the CSGO champ between the two
of us is.
Speaker 3 (45:22):
We got our Steam libraries.
Speaker 1 (45:24):
Yeah, okay, and our unlimited.
Speaker 3 (45:26):
Unlimited games.
Speaker 1 (45:27):
So many games but no games, maybe we'll actually beat
it.
Takes Two.
Speaker 2 (45:33):
All right.
So what's the verdict?
Host?
Speaker 1 (45:36):
Well, I've been keeping track of points which I
don't normally do Valid, Validand after all the scenarios and,
truthfully, your guys' twoscenarios really made a
difference in who won Drumroll.
Please, we have Alex as thewinner with 12 points and TJ
(46:00):
with 11.
What the fuck?
There was something TJ saidearlier in the episode that was
so funny and I don't rememberwhat it was, but yeah, that was
very funny and that had him inthe episode.
That was so funny and I don'tremember what it was, but yeah,
that was very funny and that hadhim in the lead for a while.
Speaker 3 (46:15):
Josh but his scenario .
Speaker 2 (46:19):
Josh.
His scenario didn't help him.
Josh help.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
His scenario.
His scenario did not help him,josh, and yours did.
You guys were able to earnpoints for either the scenario
that I gave you or the follow-up, so either one could have
earned you points.
In some cases, you guys earnedtwo points in one round.
In some cases you earned one.
In, I think, one case someoneearned zero.
Speaker 3 (46:43):
Josh, give me the win , and my life is yours.
Speaker 1 (46:49):
Side note I also have one point, so that's cool.
Speaker 2 (46:52):
Nice.
Speaker 3 (46:53):
Eric, let me get that point, and then we can do a tie
beater and it'll be funny.
Speaker 1 (46:58):
Well, those what should we call it?
Those rounds I'm sorry.
Those two rounds that you guysjust made up was the tiebreaker.
Speaker 3 (47:06):
Oh oh well you didn't even let me do another one.
I feel like I should getanother one just why would you
get two?
Speaker 1 (47:14):
yeah, I think we're good on time actually, so uh
we're really, really not.
Speaker 3 (47:19):
This is gonna be like a 20 minute episode probably
alex is gonna be.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
When did you start recording?
Alex is going to be our nexthost, next episode.
Speaker 2 (47:29):
Josh.
Speaker 1 (47:32):
Help me Really quick, Alex Winterspeed Josh.
Speaker 2 (47:36):
Thank you all for contributing to my win.
I'm so grateful for it all.
I hope that you'll go check usout on all of our socials.
Go check us out on TikTok,Instagram, Facebook.
Will you Survive the Podcast?
You can also search us up.
Will you survive the podcast onyoutube as well.
Send your emails to the boys at.
(47:57):
Will you survive the podcastcom?
That's t-h-e-b-o-y-s at.
Will you survive the podcastcom?
let us know if you have anymovies or suggestions that of
topics you would like us tocover.
Any other critiques, criticisms, anything like that, I would
also take that.
Speaker 3 (48:14):
He uses the email for his Pornhub account.
Speaker 1 (48:18):
Having a Pornhub account is crazy.
Speaker 3 (48:20):
We keep getting updates on our phones and we're
like whose fucking account isthis?
Me and Eric talked it's his.
Speaker 1 (48:25):
If you have a Pornhub account, it means that you're
commenting, and that's crazybehavior.
Speaker 2 (48:29):
I exclusively go on to P.
We went through his favoriteslist and it's fucking absolutely
wild.
Speaker 1 (48:34):
You don't even watch them, you just comment.
Speaker 2 (48:35):
Don't even watch the videos, I just comment.
It's just people in the woods,I just like to be there to watch
.
Speaker 1 (48:39):
I just like to watch the ones where he's like that's
not how you start a fire, that'snot how you start a fire.
Speaker 3 (48:49):
These two dudes are rubbing their sticks together
and it's not starting to fire,right.
Speaker 1 (48:52):
That's not very realistic.
Speaker 2 (48:54):
That is not what you would want to do in that
scenario.
Speaker 1 (48:57):
That water looks way too cold.
Speaker 2 (48:58):
If you guys are stuck out in the woods, the last
thing you want to do is takeyour clothes off.
Speaker 3 (49:04):
Do I get a loser?
Speaker 1 (49:05):
speech Sure.
What do you want to say?
Josh, josh, give me the win,please, josh, and until next
time, stay alive okay, as yourhost, uh, I will say loser and
until next time, stay alivejoshua, give me the win.
Speaker 3 (49:28):
It'll be fun if you give me the win.
It'll be fun if you give me thewin.
You.
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