October 27, 2025 • 28 mins
What if the truest test of love isn’t how we feel but how long our fuse is—and how near we’re willing to move toward hard people? We dive into 1 Corinthians 13 and sit with two verbs that refuse to be sentimental: love is patient and love is kind. Not patience with things that break, but patience with people who do; not a vague warmth at a distance, but a generosity that crosses the hallway, answers the need, and carries enough “coals” to relight a life.
We unpack the language behind long-fused love, explore why non-retaliation is so radical, and trace how kindness is more than politeness—it’s contact, cost, and concrete help. From a classroom boot fiasco to the cultural story behind “heaping coals,” the episode paints vivid snapshots of agape in action. Patience restrains the reflex to get even; kindness turns restraint into restoration. Along the way, we challenge the easy-out of avoidance and the myth that love can grow on sheer willpower. These traits are fruit of the Spirit, formed in the friction of real relationships, and practiced in public where gratitude isn’t guaranteed.
You’ll leave with a clearer picture of how to endure without exploding and how to bless without being asked, whether it’s the colleague who drains you, the neighbor who wronged you, or the stranger whose need will cost you time. If you’ve been waiting for a practical, soul-searching guide to make love visible—patient in the heat and kind at close range—this conversation will steady your steps. Listen, share with someone who needs hope, and if it helps you, subscribe and leave a review so others can find their way to long-fused love too.
Stephen's latest book, The Disciples Prayer, is available now. https://www.wisdomonline.org/store/view/the-disciples-prayer-hardback
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Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_02 (00:06):
Have you ever found yourself trying to avoid certain
people, keeping them at arm'slength?
SPEAKER_01 (00:13):
It's interesting that these two words often
appear side by side.
It's possible to be patient withsomeone without being kind.
I might put up with you bystaying away from you.
Avoid you in the hallway.
Avoid a conflict.
But Paul doesn't stop withexercising patience.
He has the audacity to tell usthat true love demonstrates
(00:36):
kindness.
And that requires contact.
SPEAKER_02 (01:02):
How about kindness?
Do you keep people at arm'slength or do you draw near so
that you can show true biblicalkindness?
Today on Wisdom for the Heart,Stephen Davy continues through
his series entitled True Love.
It comes from 1 Corinthians 13,and Steven's exploring what true
(01:23):
biblical love looks like.
In today's message, we're gonnalook at two ways that God
describes love.
Love is patient and love iskind.
Could you use help with eitherof those today?
Stay with us.
SPEAKER_01 (01:42):
What if someone was following us around, taking
pictures of us throughout theday?
What if we were surprised bysnapshots that were delivered to
us in the mail that had beentaken throughout the day?
Our facial expressions close up.
(02:04):
The captions of our wordsunderneath, our actions, all of
it recorded in living color.
Undeniable, irrefutable proof.
That was me.
I was doing that.
I was saying that.
(02:25):
How much of it would bring usembarrassment at the end of the
day?
How much of it would bring usjoy?
Would we be surprised by thesnapshots of loving actions that
those photographs would send us,or would they be cataloged
images of selfish words andself-centered living?
(02:49):
You know, it's as if the ApostlePaul has been roaming through
our neighborhood with a divinecamera.
He's been cataloging, in fact,some for some time what love
looks like, and he has deliveredto us copies of the pictures.
They are undeniable proofs oflove in action.
(03:10):
Let's look at a couple ofsnapshots in 1 Corinthians 13.
This will be undeniable evidenceof what true love looks like in
action.
Look at verse 4.
Love is patient, and love iskind.
These are the first of 15 verbs.
(03:31):
These are two positivestatements, followed up with
eight negative statements.
We'll reserve comment on theseeight negative statements for
our next session.
The first two descriptions arenothing less than two surprising
snapshots of love.
Surprising in that they reveallove in places where you would
(03:54):
not expect to see them.
If you wanted to see love, youwould not look where Paul is
looking.
And we could translate thesefirst two positive verbs this
way, and you might write in themargin of your Bible just so you
capture the sense of an actionverb.
Love exercises patience.
(04:15):
And love demonstrates kindness.
First, love exercises patience.
This verb from macro thumaomeans long suffering.
In fact, it might be translatedthat way in some of your
translations.
The word macro is used in ourown English language as a prefix
(04:37):
for something that's large orbroad as opposed to micro, which
is used for something small,like a micro chip.
Thumeo, the other half of thatword, refers to passion.
It's used of something literallybursting into flames.
In our modern world, we wouldcall this long fused love.
(05:02):
Macro thumeo literally could bedefined as taking a long time to
burst into flames.
Long-fused patience.
This is agape.
And by the way, this word chosenby the Spirit of God to describe
agape has nothing to do withpatience with things.
(05:26):
This word is always used inreference to patience with
people.
I mean, it's one thing toexercise patience over that
broken-down lawnmower, right?
If you do exercise it.
Or that computer that crashes,or that photocopier that keeps
on jamming, or that vendingmachine.
You put your 75 cents in thereand the candy bar slides all the
(05:49):
way to the edge, but then itdoesn't fall.
And you push on the machine andyou hit the glass and you kick
it and you threaten it and allsorts of things.
It just won't fall.
Well, this has to do withexercising patience like that
with people, and don't we pushand hit and kick and threaten?
(06:15):
People that are evidentlydifficult is what Paul has in
mind.
Otherwise, you wouldn't need toexercise long fused patience.
These are people you'd like toshake or push or threaten.
And at that moment, in themiddle of a push, a divine
(06:36):
snapshot is taken.
Look at the photograph.
You're in the middle of thatscene.
What do the pictures reveal?
Our church is blessed with somany teachers.
I know there are many heretonight.
It is a particular honor toteach teachers.
(07:01):
But you know what it's like toexercise patience with that
class, don't you?
Maybe you'll understand oridentify with this incident
submitted by John Buchima fromChambersburg, Pennsylvania.
An elementary teacher washelping one of her kindergarten
students get his cowboy boots onbefore leaving for home.
He'd asked her for help, and shecould see why.
(07:25):
Even with her pulling andpushing, the boots just didn't
want to fit on all the way.
They seemed too small.
But she persisted.
And by the time she got thesecond boot on, she'd worked up
a sweat and she almost criedwhen the little boy said to her,
These are the wrong feet.
You know how boots can sometimesbe hard to tell.
(07:48):
She looked closely and sureenough they were.
She tugged and pulled andfinally got the boots off.
And she managed to keep her coolas together they worked to get
the boots back on the rightfeet.
Finally, just as she wasfinished, he said, You know,
these aren't my boots.
She bit her tongue rather thanscream.
Once again she struggled to helphim pull the ill-fitting boots
(08:11):
off his little feet.
No sooner had they gotten theboots off, he said, See, they're
my brother's boots, but my momsaid I could wear them.
She didn't know if she'd laughor cry, but she mustered up what
patience she had to wrestle theboots back on his feet one more
(08:31):
time, and finally she finished.
Helping him into his coat, sheasked, now where are your
mittens?
And he said, I stuffed him inthe toes of my boots.
The story says in two yearsshe'll be eligible for parole.
I don't blame her.
(08:52):
Better have a little agape forscenes like that.
It's interesting that, it'sinteresting to me that the first
snapshot of love, whether youand I think we've got it or not,
he goes right for the soft spot,doesn't he?
(09:13):
Boy, he touches the nerveimmediately.
As we're going to talk about anddescribe love, let me tell you
that love is long fused.
This is love acting towardunloving acts.
(09:34):
I found it interesting that thePharisees in the days of Paul
held to the theory of recompenseor compensation.
That is, you return to otherswhat they deliver to you.
That's why Jesus Christ'steaching was so radical.
It was no longer an eye for aneye and a tooth for tooth, which
was in fact the basis forjustice and remuneration.
(09:56):
Now it is self-defacing,self-defrauding, self-emptying
love toward another.
How unlike the world who livesby the motto, don't get mad, get
even.
Right?
Do unto others before they dounto you.
(10:19):
That's the law of the jungle.
Jesus Christ said, here's a newmotto.
Endure suffering withoutretaliation.
Paul writes to the Romans, donot repay evil with evil.
Romans 12, 17.
Chrysostom, the church leader,said that this word for patience
describes a man who has beenwronged, who has the power to
(10:42):
avenge himself, and who will notdo it.
Paul writes to the Thessaloniansusing the same word for
patience.
He says, We urge you, brethren,admonish the unruly, encourage
the faint-hearted, that is thoseprone to worry and
discouragement.
Help the weak, that is areference to the morally
(11:03):
unstable who seem to constantlyneed encouragement to do the
right thing.
The kind of people that you say,finally, you know, just just
leave me alone.
Just go do what you know to do.
Paul then closes, though, byadding, after that description,
be patient with them all.
Same word here.
Be long fused with them.
(11:25):
See, anybody can love thelovable, right?
Anyone can exercise patiencewith the considerate.
Anyone can put up with the neat,the orderly, the strong, the
refined, the polite.
This is not the patience ofagape.
This is not the snapshot oflove.
Anyone can do that.
This photograph of this kind ofagape catches us when we
(11:48):
exercise patience with those whocan't seem to get their boots
on.
They need help and a lot of it.
Why go through the sweat of itall?
Why bother?
Because the physician hasattributed to his patient
(12:09):
inerrant worth and value.
Therefore, he has chosen toserve him even though the
outlook is bleak, and thisperson can take nothing from him
but his time and his energy.
Listen, this is the agape ofGod.
(12:37):
Romans 5.8.
This is true, genuine, God likeChrist imitating sacrificial,
surprising love that is patienttoward the irritable, the
unexpressive, the disappointing,the unlovely.
This is the surprising snapshotof agape.
Have you been caught?
Have I been caught in aphotograph with this kind of
(13:01):
love lately?
Love expresses patience.
Let's move on.
Agape does not stop with beingpatient with the unloving.
Paul writes further that thislove is also kind.
Being kind is the counterpart ofbeing patient.
(13:24):
In other words, while patiencewill put up with anything from
anybody, kindness will give awayanything to another.
It's possible, think about it.
It's possible to be patientwithout being kind.
Isn't it?
It's interesting that these twowords often appear side by side.
(13:47):
It's possible to be patient withsomeone without being kind.
I might put up with you bystaying away from you.
Right?
Avoid you in the hallway.
Avoid a conflict.
But Paul doesn't stop withexercising patience.
He has the audacity to tell usthat true love demonstrates
(14:08):
kindness, and that requirescontact.
This is Jesus Christ telling hisdisciples to love their enemies.
He doesn't simply tell them tofeel kindly, you know, about
them.
He says, literally, be kind tothem.
He is the model we follow.
(14:29):
For agape is truly theexpression of the attributes and
character of God.
This is the kindness of God thatleads us to what?
Repentance.
Same word, kindness.
We're to demonstrate to otherswhat God leads us toward.
Peter writes, We have tasted thekindness of the Lord.
(14:52):
1 Peter 2, 2 and 3.
Same word.
We're being called todemonstrate the kindness toward
the world that God demonstratedtoward us.
You remember Paul's injunctionto feed your enemy when he's
hungry, and if he's thirsty,give him water to drink.
And in so doing, you're going toheap coals of fire upon his
head.
And you say, Yeah, I like thatpart.
(15:12):
Coals of fire.
I can do that.
That's love for me.
Paul is describing a deed fromhis culture that we could easily
misunderstand.
Nobody in Paul's day had matchesin the pantry.
If you didn't keep your firegoing, those coals went cold,
you were desperate.
(15:36):
Didn't matter if you were awayon a trip or you'd gotten ill
and doubled over in pain forseveral days.
You were unable to tend the fireand the coals turned to dust.
The only thing you could do isgo to a neighbor.
(15:57):
You'd take along that basin thatyou'd balance on your head.
I've seen him do it.
Third world countries, balancingsupplies on a crude basin.
Now you'd go to your neighborand you'd have your basin and
and and you'd ask for somecoals.
(16:18):
Now if your neighbor gave you,oh, let's just say a handful of
them, that could be a problembecause if you lived at some
distance, by the time you gothome, those coals would be cold.
But if he was kind to you, hewould heap coals of fire upon
your head.
(16:39):
He would load your basin down sothat by the time you got home
you had hot coals whereby youcould immediately cook and eat
or be warmed.
SPEAKER_00 (16:53):
This is nothing for a friend to do to a friend,
right?
Or maybe even to do to astranger.
SPEAKER_01 (17:03):
But an enemy.
This is one of the kinds ofphotographs that continue to
surprise the world.
He was actually disturbed by hisatheist friends.
(17:27):
Because they never did anythinggood for anybody.
He didn't quite connect thedots.
He'd watched the Salvation Armyand other faith-based ministries
respond with all the hundredsand hundreds of churches to
Hurricane Katrina.
And he lamented in a newspapercolumn, let me read it for you.
And I quote, notable by theirabsence were teams helping,
(17:49):
who'd come from rationalistsocieties, free thinkers' clubs,
and atheist associations.
The sort of people who scoff atreligion's intellectual
absurdity.
He said it was the Christian whowas the most likely to take the
risk and make the sacrificesinvolved in helping others.
Isn't that interesting that henoticed?
(18:11):
He went on to say that otherthings like drug addiction and
AIDS offend Christians, but theyare the ones willing to change
the fetid bandages and cleanthem up.
Bathe them.
Now listen to his conclusion.
The only possible conclusion Ican draw is that Christians have
(18:34):
moral imperatives that make themmorally superior to atheists
like me.
And so it should be.
(19:09):
Made up of kindness.
Can you imagine the church ofthe 21st century earning the
nickname made up of kindness?
Well, let's practice tonight,even in the way you leave the
parking lot, okay?
(19:31):
Put agape to work.
Would we surprise anybody by ourkindness?
There are two demands that theseverbs difficult demands that
they make, these verbs of love.
First, they demand that wedevelop this kind of love
(19:51):
through a relationship with theHoly Spirit.
I mentioned earlier these arethe fruits of the Spirit.
Love, joy, peace, patience,kindness.
Yours might say long-sufferinggoodness.
Same words.
There they are side by sideagain.
Don't just take it from people.
(20:11):
Give back to people.
These are the results ofsurrender to the Spirit of God.
So you don't say I'm gonna drumit up.
Okay, I'm gonna leave here and II'm gonna be kind.
You know, your kids saying,leave me alone, I'm trying to be
patient.
You know?
No.
(20:32):
You pursue the Spirit of God,and these things seep into our
character.
Neither patience nor kindnesscan be developed apart from the
Spirit.
Secondly, neither patience norkindness can be demonstrated
apart from suffering.
(20:54):
These two action verbs invitedifficulty.
Patience demands what?
Irritating people to beexercised.
So you ask God for morepatience, He sends you somebody
really irritating.
He answers your prayer.
This word relates to beinglong-fused as it relates to
people.
(21:14):
Oh, Stephen, you want to bepatient?
Here you go.
Exhibit A.
And there's the picture.
He may send you suffering, whichallows you to act in kindness
(21:35):
because kindness demandsunloving conditions to be
practiced.
Patience demands irritatingpeople to be exercised.
Kindness demands unlovingconditions to be practiced.
You don't practice these inprivate.
You got to go public with these,and not just any kind of public.
(21:57):
Linsky, a Greek scholar, wrote,These two actions are not
revealed in surroundings offriendship and affection where
each individual embraces andkisses the other.
These are actions in a bad andself-centered world.
Maybe that's why thesephotographs are so rare.
(22:19):
So hard to find.
In 1975, a child by the name ofRaymond Dunn was born in New
York State.
The Associated Press reportedthat at his birth, a skull
fracture and oxygen deprivationcaused severe retardation.
As Raymond grew, the familydiscovered further impairments.
(22:43):
His twisted body suffered up to20 seizures per day.
He was found to be blind, mute,and virtually immobile.
He had severe allergies thatlimited him to only one food,
found after numerous attempts tofind something he could easily
(23:03):
digest.
It was a meat-based formula byGerber Foods.
But in 1985, Gerber stoppedmaking the formula that Raymond
thrived on.
Carol Dunn, his mother, scouredthe countryside and purchased
(23:23):
case after case of it,accumulating all she could.
But by 1990, her supply wasrunning out.
In desperation, she appealed toGerber for help.
Would they help her and her son?
The employees of the companywere given the news.
(23:46):
This article read they not onlylistened, but they responded.
In an unprecedented action,volunteers donated hundreds of
hours to bring out oldequipment, set up a production
line, obtained special approvalfrom the USDA, and produced a
formula all for one boy.
(24:12):
In January of 1995, Raymond DunnJr., known as the Gerber Boy,
passed away.
What a rare photograph.
(24:34):
Can we as people of God be anyless than this?
Would the world be surprised bythe appearances of love in our
lives?
Paul says, Let me show you amore excellent way to live.
Let me show you a way to live byagape, okay?
Let's hear it.
Be patient with the irritating.
(24:56):
Be kind to the unloving.
Paul, can you give me anythingdifferent than that?
No, you know what he's giving?
He isn't giving the Corinthiansor the North Carolinians a
different way to feel.
He's giving us a different wayto live.
And it is radically different.
(25:17):
So, with the outset of these twofirst two verbs, surrender to
the Spirit and invite sufferingso that we can demonstrate to
our watching world who, by theway, has their cameras ready.
Oh, that they may take picturesof the patience of agape and the
(25:39):
kindness of agape, which becomeamazing, irrefutable, undeniable
evidences of this Godlike,Christ-honoring, genuine love.
SPEAKER_02 (26:11):
I hope this timing God's Word has helped you today.
You've tuned in to Wisdom forthe Heart with Stephen Davey.
We've posted this message to ourwebsite at wisdomonline.org.
In fact, that's something youcan do anytime you miss our
daily broadcast.
I certainly hope that you'lltune in right here every day.
(26:36):
But sometimes you probablycan't, and we post each day's
message to that website so youcan go back and get caught up.
Stephen's currently working hisway through a series entitled
True Love.
It comes from 1 Corinthians 13,where God describes what real
biblical love looks like.
(26:57):
You can go back and hear theprevious messages in the series,
and then I hope you'll join usin the days ahead as we continue
working through it.
We have a monthly magazine thatwe send as a gift to our wisdom
partners.
We call it Heart to Heartmagazine.
Each issue features articlesfrom Stephen on a relevant
(27:19):
topic.
There's also a daily devotionalguide that takes you deep into
God's Word on a daily basis.
We give you some insideinformation about our ministry
as well.
And we also share new resourcesthat we have available as part
of our resource library, as Isaid.
It's a gift that we send to allof our wisdom partners.
(27:43):
But if you don't receive it,we'd be delighted to send you a
copy as our gift to you.
You can sign up online or callus today at 866-48 Bible.
That's 866-482-4253.
Thanks for listening.
And join us next time for moreWisdom for the Heart.
Have you ever found yourself trying to avoid certain
people, keeping them at arm'slength?
SPEAKER_01 (00:13):
It's interesting that these two words often
appear side by side.
It's possible to be patient withsomeone without being kind.
I might put up with you bystaying away from you.
Avoid you in the hallway.
Avoid a conflict.
But Paul doesn't stop withexercising patience.
He has the audacity to tell usthat true love demonstrates
(00:36):
kindness.
And that requires contact.
SPEAKER_02 (01:02):
How about kindness?
Do you keep people at arm'slength or do you draw near so
that you can show true biblicalkindness?
Today on Wisdom for the Heart,Stephen Davy continues through
his series entitled True Love.
It comes from 1 Corinthians 13,and Steven's exploring what true
(01:23):
biblical love looks like.
In today's message, we're gonnalook at two ways that God
describes love.
Love is patient and love iskind.
Could you use help with eitherof those today?
Stay with us.
SPEAKER_01 (01:42):
What if someone was following us around, taking
pictures of us throughout theday?
What if we were surprised bysnapshots that were delivered to
us in the mail that had beentaken throughout the day?
Our facial expressions close up.
(02:04):
The captions of our wordsunderneath, our actions, all of
it recorded in living color.
Undeniable, irrefutable proof.
That was me.
I was doing that.
I was saying that.
(02:25):
How much of it would bring usembarrassment at the end of the
day?
How much of it would bring usjoy?
Would we be surprised by thesnapshots of loving actions that
those photographs would send us,or would they be cataloged
images of selfish words andself-centered living?
(02:49):
You know, it's as if the ApostlePaul has been roaming through
our neighborhood with a divinecamera.
He's been cataloging, in fact,some for some time what love
looks like, and he has deliveredto us copies of the pictures.
They are undeniable proofs oflove in action.
(03:10):
Let's look at a couple ofsnapshots in 1 Corinthians 13.
This will be undeniable evidenceof what true love looks like in
action.
Look at verse 4.
Love is patient, and love iskind.
These are the first of 15 verbs.
(03:31):
These are two positivestatements, followed up with
eight negative statements.
We'll reserve comment on theseeight negative statements for
our next session.
The first two descriptions arenothing less than two surprising
snapshots of love.
Surprising in that they reveallove in places where you would
(03:54):
not expect to see them.
If you wanted to see love, youwould not look where Paul is
looking.
And we could translate thesefirst two positive verbs this
way, and you might write in themargin of your Bible just so you
capture the sense of an actionverb.
Love exercises patience.
(04:15):
And love demonstrates kindness.
First, love exercises patience.
This verb from macro thumaomeans long suffering.
In fact, it might be translatedthat way in some of your
translations.
The word macro is used in ourown English language as a prefix
(04:37):
for something that's large orbroad as opposed to micro, which
is used for something small,like a micro chip.
Thumeo, the other half of thatword, refers to passion.
It's used of something literallybursting into flames.
In our modern world, we wouldcall this long fused love.
(05:02):
Macro thumeo literally could bedefined as taking a long time to
burst into flames.
Long-fused patience.
This is agape.
And by the way, this word chosenby the Spirit of God to describe
agape has nothing to do withpatience with things.
(05:26):
This word is always used inreference to patience with
people.
I mean, it's one thing toexercise patience over that
broken-down lawnmower, right?
If you do exercise it.
Or that computer that crashes,or that photocopier that keeps
on jamming, or that vendingmachine.
You put your 75 cents in thereand the candy bar slides all the
(05:49):
way to the edge, but then itdoesn't fall.
And you push on the machine andyou hit the glass and you kick
it and you threaten it and allsorts of things.
It just won't fall.
Well, this has to do withexercising patience like that
with people, and don't we pushand hit and kick and threaten?
(06:15):
People that are evidentlydifficult is what Paul has in
mind.
Otherwise, you wouldn't need toexercise long fused patience.
These are people you'd like toshake or push or threaten.
And at that moment, in themiddle of a push, a divine
(06:36):
snapshot is taken.
Look at the photograph.
You're in the middle of thatscene.
What do the pictures reveal?
Our church is blessed with somany teachers.
I know there are many heretonight.
It is a particular honor toteach teachers.
(07:01):
But you know what it's like toexercise patience with that
class, don't you?
Maybe you'll understand oridentify with this incident
submitted by John Buchima fromChambersburg, Pennsylvania.
An elementary teacher washelping one of her kindergarten
students get his cowboy boots onbefore leaving for home.
He'd asked her for help, and shecould see why.
(07:25):
Even with her pulling andpushing, the boots just didn't
want to fit on all the way.
They seemed too small.
But she persisted.
And by the time she got thesecond boot on, she'd worked up
a sweat and she almost criedwhen the little boy said to her,
These are the wrong feet.
You know how boots can sometimesbe hard to tell.
(07:48):
She looked closely and sureenough they were.
She tugged and pulled andfinally got the boots off.
And she managed to keep her coolas together they worked to get
the boots back on the rightfeet.
Finally, just as she wasfinished, he said, You know,
these aren't my boots.
She bit her tongue rather thanscream.
Once again she struggled to helphim pull the ill-fitting boots
(08:11):
off his little feet.
No sooner had they gotten theboots off, he said, See, they're
my brother's boots, but my momsaid I could wear them.
She didn't know if she'd laughor cry, but she mustered up what
patience she had to wrestle theboots back on his feet one more
(08:31):
time, and finally she finished.
Helping him into his coat, sheasked, now where are your
mittens?
And he said, I stuffed him inthe toes of my boots.
The story says in two yearsshe'll be eligible for parole.
I don't blame her.
(08:52):
Better have a little agape forscenes like that.
It's interesting that, it'sinteresting to me that the first
snapshot of love, whether youand I think we've got it or not,
he goes right for the soft spot,doesn't he?
(09:13):
Boy, he touches the nerveimmediately.
As we're going to talk about anddescribe love, let me tell you
that love is long fused.
This is love acting towardunloving acts.
(09:34):
I found it interesting that thePharisees in the days of Paul
held to the theory of recompenseor compensation.
That is, you return to otherswhat they deliver to you.
That's why Jesus Christ'steaching was so radical.
It was no longer an eye for aneye and a tooth for tooth, which
was in fact the basis forjustice and remuneration.
(09:56):
Now it is self-defacing,self-defrauding, self-emptying
love toward another.
How unlike the world who livesby the motto, don't get mad, get
even.
Right?
Do unto others before they dounto you.
(10:19):
That's the law of the jungle.
Jesus Christ said, here's a newmotto.
Endure suffering withoutretaliation.
Paul writes to the Romans, donot repay evil with evil.
Romans 12, 17.
Chrysostom, the church leader,said that this word for patience
describes a man who has beenwronged, who has the power to
(10:42):
avenge himself, and who will notdo it.
Paul writes to the Thessaloniansusing the same word for
patience.
He says, We urge you, brethren,admonish the unruly, encourage
the faint-hearted, that is thoseprone to worry and
discouragement.
Help the weak, that is areference to the morally
(11:03):
unstable who seem to constantlyneed encouragement to do the
right thing.
The kind of people that you say,finally, you know, just just
leave me alone.
Just go do what you know to do.
Paul then closes, though, byadding, after that description,
be patient with them all.
Same word here.
Be long fused with them.
(11:25):
See, anybody can love thelovable, right?
Anyone can exercise patiencewith the considerate.
Anyone can put up with the neat,the orderly, the strong, the
refined, the polite.
This is not the patience ofagape.
This is not the snapshot oflove.
Anyone can do that.
This photograph of this kind ofagape catches us when we
(11:48):
exercise patience with those whocan't seem to get their boots
on.
They need help and a lot of it.
Why go through the sweat of itall?
Why bother?
Because the physician hasattributed to his patient
(12:09):
inerrant worth and value.
Therefore, he has chosen toserve him even though the
outlook is bleak, and thisperson can take nothing from him
but his time and his energy.
Listen, this is the agape ofGod.
(12:37):
Romans 5.8.
This is true, genuine, God likeChrist imitating sacrificial,
surprising love that is patienttoward the irritable, the
unexpressive, the disappointing,the unlovely.
This is the surprising snapshotof agape.
Have you been caught?
Have I been caught in aphotograph with this kind of
(13:01):
love lately?
Love expresses patience.
Let's move on.
Agape does not stop with beingpatient with the unloving.
Paul writes further that thislove is also kind.
Being kind is the counterpart ofbeing patient.
(13:24):
In other words, while patiencewill put up with anything from
anybody, kindness will give awayanything to another.
It's possible, think about it.
It's possible to be patientwithout being kind.
Isn't it?
It's interesting that these twowords often appear side by side.
(13:47):
It's possible to be patient withsomeone without being kind.
I might put up with you bystaying away from you.
Right?
Avoid you in the hallway.
Avoid a conflict.
But Paul doesn't stop withexercising patience.
He has the audacity to tell usthat true love demonstrates
(14:08):
kindness, and that requirescontact.
This is Jesus Christ telling hisdisciples to love their enemies.
He doesn't simply tell them tofeel kindly, you know, about
them.
He says, literally, be kind tothem.
He is the model we follow.
(14:29):
For agape is truly theexpression of the attributes and
character of God.
This is the kindness of God thatleads us to what?
Repentance.
Same word, kindness.
We're to demonstrate to otherswhat God leads us toward.
Peter writes, We have tasted thekindness of the Lord.
(14:52):
1 Peter 2, 2 and 3.
Same word.
We're being called todemonstrate the kindness toward
the world that God demonstratedtoward us.
You remember Paul's injunctionto feed your enemy when he's
hungry, and if he's thirsty,give him water to drink.
And in so doing, you're going toheap coals of fire upon his
head.
And you say, Yeah, I like thatpart.
(15:12):
Coals of fire.
I can do that.
That's love for me.
Paul is describing a deed fromhis culture that we could easily
misunderstand.
Nobody in Paul's day had matchesin the pantry.
If you didn't keep your firegoing, those coals went cold,
you were desperate.
(15:36):
Didn't matter if you were awayon a trip or you'd gotten ill
and doubled over in pain forseveral days.
You were unable to tend the fireand the coals turned to dust.
The only thing you could do isgo to a neighbor.
(15:57):
You'd take along that basin thatyou'd balance on your head.
I've seen him do it.
Third world countries, balancingsupplies on a crude basin.
Now you'd go to your neighborand you'd have your basin and
and and you'd ask for somecoals.
(16:18):
Now if your neighbor gave you,oh, let's just say a handful of
them, that could be a problembecause if you lived at some
distance, by the time you gothome, those coals would be cold.
But if he was kind to you, hewould heap coals of fire upon
your head.
(16:39):
He would load your basin down sothat by the time you got home
you had hot coals whereby youcould immediately cook and eat
or be warmed.
SPEAKER_00 (16:53):
This is nothing for a friend to do to a friend,
right?
Or maybe even to do to astranger.
SPEAKER_01 (17:03):
But an enemy.
This is one of the kinds ofphotographs that continue to
surprise the world.
He was actually disturbed by hisatheist friends.
(17:27):
Because they never did anythinggood for anybody.
He didn't quite connect thedots.
He'd watched the Salvation Armyand other faith-based ministries
respond with all the hundredsand hundreds of churches to
Hurricane Katrina.
And he lamented in a newspapercolumn, let me read it for you.
And I quote, notable by theirabsence were teams helping,
(17:49):
who'd come from rationalistsocieties, free thinkers' clubs,
and atheist associations.
The sort of people who scoff atreligion's intellectual
absurdity.
He said it was the Christian whowas the most likely to take the
risk and make the sacrificesinvolved in helping others.
Isn't that interesting that henoticed?
(18:11):
He went on to say that otherthings like drug addiction and
AIDS offend Christians, but theyare the ones willing to change
the fetid bandages and cleanthem up.
Bathe them.
Now listen to his conclusion.
The only possible conclusion Ican draw is that Christians have
(18:34):
moral imperatives that make themmorally superior to atheists
like me.
And so it should be.
(19:09):
Made up of kindness.
Can you imagine the church ofthe 21st century earning the
nickname made up of kindness?
Well, let's practice tonight,even in the way you leave the
parking lot, okay?
(19:31):
Put agape to work.
Would we surprise anybody by ourkindness?
There are two demands that theseverbs difficult demands that
they make, these verbs of love.
First, they demand that wedevelop this kind of love
(19:51):
through a relationship with theHoly Spirit.
I mentioned earlier these arethe fruits of the Spirit.
Love, joy, peace, patience,kindness.
Yours might say long-sufferinggoodness.
Same words.
There they are side by sideagain.
Don't just take it from people.
(20:11):
Give back to people.
These are the results ofsurrender to the Spirit of God.
So you don't say I'm gonna drumit up.
Okay, I'm gonna leave here and II'm gonna be kind.
You know, your kids saying,leave me alone, I'm trying to be
patient.
You know?
No.
(20:32):
You pursue the Spirit of God,and these things seep into our
character.
Neither patience nor kindnesscan be developed apart from the
Spirit.
Secondly, neither patience norkindness can be demonstrated
apart from suffering.
(20:54):
These two action verbs invitedifficulty.
Patience demands what?
Irritating people to beexercised.
So you ask God for morepatience, He sends you somebody
really irritating.
He answers your prayer.
This word relates to beinglong-fused as it relates to
people.
(21:14):
Oh, Stephen, you want to bepatient?
Here you go.
Exhibit A.
And there's the picture.
He may send you suffering, whichallows you to act in kindness
(21:35):
because kindness demandsunloving conditions to be
practiced.
Patience demands irritatingpeople to be exercised.
Kindness demands unlovingconditions to be practiced.
You don't practice these inprivate.
You got to go public with these,and not just any kind of public.
(21:57):
Linsky, a Greek scholar, wrote,These two actions are not
revealed in surroundings offriendship and affection where
each individual embraces andkisses the other.
These are actions in a bad andself-centered world.
Maybe that's why thesephotographs are so rare.
(22:19):
So hard to find.
In 1975, a child by the name ofRaymond Dunn was born in New
York State.
The Associated Press reportedthat at his birth, a skull
fracture and oxygen deprivationcaused severe retardation.
As Raymond grew, the familydiscovered further impairments.
(22:43):
His twisted body suffered up to20 seizures per day.
He was found to be blind, mute,and virtually immobile.
He had severe allergies thatlimited him to only one food,
found after numerous attempts tofind something he could easily
(23:03):
digest.
It was a meat-based formula byGerber Foods.
But in 1985, Gerber stoppedmaking the formula that Raymond
thrived on.
Carol Dunn, his mother, scouredthe countryside and purchased
(23:23):
case after case of it,accumulating all she could.
But by 1990, her supply wasrunning out.
In desperation, she appealed toGerber for help.
Would they help her and her son?
The employees of the companywere given the news.
(23:46):
This article read they not onlylistened, but they responded.
In an unprecedented action,volunteers donated hundreds of
hours to bring out oldequipment, set up a production
line, obtained special approvalfrom the USDA, and produced a
formula all for one boy.
(24:12):
In January of 1995, Raymond DunnJr., known as the Gerber Boy,
passed away.
What a rare photograph.
(24:34):
Can we as people of God be anyless than this?
Would the world be surprised bythe appearances of love in our
lives?
Paul says, Let me show you amore excellent way to live.
Let me show you a way to live byagape, okay?
Let's hear it.
Be patient with the irritating.
(24:56):
Be kind to the unloving.
Paul, can you give me anythingdifferent than that?
No, you know what he's giving?
He isn't giving the Corinthiansor the North Carolinians a
different way to feel.
He's giving us a different wayto live.
And it is radically different.
(25:17):
So, with the outset of these twofirst two verbs, surrender to
the Spirit and invite sufferingso that we can demonstrate to
our watching world who, by theway, has their cameras ready.
Oh, that they may take picturesof the patience of agape and the
(25:39):
kindness of agape, which becomeamazing, irrefutable, undeniable
evidences of this Godlike,Christ-honoring, genuine love.
SPEAKER_02 (26:11):
I hope this timing God's Word has helped you today.
You've tuned in to Wisdom forthe Heart with Stephen Davey.
We've posted this message to ourwebsite at wisdomonline.org.
In fact, that's something youcan do anytime you miss our
daily broadcast.
I certainly hope that you'lltune in right here every day.
(26:36):
But sometimes you probablycan't, and we post each day's
message to that website so youcan go back and get caught up.
Stephen's currently working hisway through a series entitled
True Love.
It comes from 1 Corinthians 13,where God describes what real
biblical love looks like.
(26:57):
You can go back and hear theprevious messages in the series,
and then I hope you'll join usin the days ahead as we continue
working through it.
We have a monthly magazine thatwe send as a gift to our wisdom
partners.
We call it Heart to Heartmagazine.
Each issue features articlesfrom Stephen on a relevant
(27:19):
topic.
There's also a daily devotionalguide that takes you deep into
God's Word on a daily basis.
We give you some insideinformation about our ministry
as well.
And we also share new resourcesthat we have available as part
of our resource library, as Isaid.
It's a gift that we send to allof our wisdom partners.
(27:43):
But if you don't receive it,we'd be delighted to send you a
copy as our gift to you.
You can sign up online or callus today at 866-48 Bible.
That's 866-482-4253.
Thanks for listening.
And join us next time for moreWisdom for the Heart.
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