April 18, 2025 • 45 mins
In this episode of Wisdom on the Front Porch, LS Kirkpatrick is joined by Bethany Stone to discuss the vital role of mindset and coaching in entrepreneurship. Bethany emphasizes the importance of helping adults embrace their inner child and the value of failure in achieving goals and growth. The conversation covers the necessity of taking pauses for mental preparation and handling negative feedback while fostering confidence. They explore the significance of rediscovering oneself through creativity, embracing individuality, and practicing self-care. Bethany shares strategies for overcoming negative self-talk and highlights her online presence. The episode concludes with insights into the spiritual and healing aspects of nature.
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(00:05):
Alright.
Here we are with Bethany Stone.
Who is ready?
Boy, I'm ready.
She has an article in the second issue ofwisdom on the front porch.
You'll see Willie j on the front of it.
You can find it on the website,wisdomonthefrontporch.com.
Go to slash magazine, and you'll see both thefirst and second issue there.
(00:25):
And I thank you, Bethany, for that amazingarticle that you wrote, and I thank you for
being here and for what you do.
However, our audience may not even know who youare or what you do or even why you do what you
do.
So let's start with with that first.
Who is Bethany?
(00:48):
So I am a teacher.
Like, to my whole whole soul, I am just ateacher, and I don't know how not to teach.
So I have been teaching for twenty two years,and I've opened up a school, and I've sold a
school, and transitioned into mindset coaching.
Because over these twenty two years, I've beenable to learn how people learn, And I've been
(01:12):
able to create curriculum and speak at a lot ofdifferent educational conferences and really
help a bunch of people that really neededsupport.
And I learned that I love well, I just I'm ateacher, and I am know how to do it because
I've been doing it for so long.
And so it's it's been fun.
I'm also a dance coach and a Bungee fitnessinstructor because if I'm gonna do it, I guess
(01:37):
I'm gonna teach it.
That's just how I am.
Yep.
I can understand that.
So, gosh, you were teaching and and you sold aschool and you've got your curriculum and
everything else that you're doing.
So I'm just gonna start out with this.
Where do people find you?
Because I love the name of your website.
(02:02):
My website is thrivingbynature.com.
So I feel like when I was going through, like,starting everything and picking my website
name, I feel like everyone has that potentialwithin them.
Everyone has the ability to just grow intosomething amazing and awesome and wonderful,
And so that's why it's thriving by naturebecause it is in our nature to be able to
(02:24):
thrive.
Yes.
So true.
I've been, doing some mindset studying,specifically every day for the last few weeks,
and and it's just been amazing.
Today, we listened to Bob Proctor talked abouteveryone has this creative inside of them and
what to do with that and, you know, the steps,the mindset, the creative, the never quitting,
(02:51):
and our imagination, and then taking action onit, not just let it sit there.
So why why did you decide to go?
I realized you talked about it being, you know,the next step and whatnot, but you could have
gone into other things.
Why mindset specifically?
(03:15):
Well, because I have worked in childdevelopment and I understand how the brain
works, and I also understand that by the time achild is seven years old, most of their
behaviors and tendencies and just habits andvalue system is really embedded inside of them.
(03:36):
And as we become adults and as we get biggerand older and things like that, we find
ourselves, like, having a hard time gettingstarted, procrastinating, feeling overwhelmed,
or even just having issues with conflictresolution, not being able to communicate.
And it's literally because we did not havethese skills embedded or taught to us during
(04:02):
this really sensitive time of development.
And so we became and came to adulthood likewell, I like to reuse this analogy like a piece
of Swiss cheese.
We're intact, but we just have a lot of holesin us.
And so we're still good.
I mean, we're still great.
This piece is awesome.
But sometimes we need to fill those holes.
(04:26):
And so I specifically teach the life skillsthat you need to be able to really not feel
that sense of a and to be able to reallyprogress in life and not feel stuck.
Something that I think is very interesting isthat when I was deciding, like, what am I gonna
(04:48):
do?
What am I going to do now?
You know?
And I I switched careers because I had a songet sick.
And so I'm like, well, I don't know how not toteach, so I am.
So, obviously, I'm gonna go into some type ofteaching.
A lot of people want me to do consulting forschools, and I still do.
But I decided that I've done so many parenteducation nights and so many, like, teaching
(05:10):
teachers and professionals and things like thatand realized that if I actually help the
adults, I'm able to help more children.
Yes.
Because things trickle down.
And so that's why I made the shift to fromchildren to adults because we are.
(05:31):
We're missing these skills.
And if I can teach these skills and turnaround, I'm going to be helping the children
anyways because that's how they learn is by us.
We are the examples.
We, you know, are the ones that kind of blazethis trail for them to follow, so we need to
make sure it's a good trail.
That's right.
(05:51):
That's right.
I'm glad you saw that.
You know, when you're talking about the Swisscheese, reminded me of this math tutoring
company.
I'm not gonna say their name here.
They were really good, but they presented itlike your bricks that you're building on a
wall, and you're missing a few bricks in thereto make the whole wall complete.
(06:14):
And so you are the mason.
You're covering the bricks, putting them in theholes that need to be done.
So we've got this complete wall.
That's a really great way
Yeah.
To look at it.
And I agree with you, especially being at myage now.
I've got a lot of years to look over and seewhat happens.
(06:34):
And, yeah, as a parent, as a grandparent, Idon't have the knowledge of something.
I can't pass that knowledge on because it'sjust not there.
And I love that you're able to help fill thegaps, equip us with that knowledge so we can
pass it on to the next generation or the thirdgeneration because usually it's the
(06:56):
grandparents teaching the grandkids.
You know, we still learn from our parents, butbut there's still things that are there.
That's a really great way to look at it.
You've got military kids that are transferringfrom school to school to school, and they don't
always have the same education at every school.
Even in the same state, different cities andtowns will have different levels of where they
(07:21):
are on the teaching scale and the learningscale.
So there are gaps that are missed.
So it's great to have someone who can help theadults, who can then, in turn, help their kids
through that or their grandkids through it.
Yeah.
There's just you know, life goes on.
It's not that I think in turn yeah.
Go ahead.
(07:42):
Yeah.
I was gonna say, yeah, I think in turn, like,realistically, yeah, I don't love it, but I am
getting older.
This is the reality.
Like, time doesn't wait and time doesn't stop,and time is a thief.
It's a true thing.
Oh, yes.
But
I don't feel I don't feel mentally older.
(08:02):
I still feel like a kid.
Like, I still you know, even though my kneehurts when I run now and all these things, I'm
like, woah.
What is that?
You know, all these things are happening.
But mentally, I'm still I still wanna have fun.
I still enjoy so many things I did when I wasyoung.
Yes.
(08:22):
And I think that that's something that weforget.
Like, honestly, we're all just kids inside.
We're all just big kids.
Really, we are.
And it doesn't matter, like, how old you are.
You can be, you know, four to a hundred andfour.
It doesn't matter because we all have this thisflame inside of us to better ourselves even
(08:45):
from a young child.
And it never distinguishes or we hope it neverdistinguishes.
And I think the people that learn how to fanthat flame and learn how to continue moving on
through their lives And learning these skillsand wanting to continually better themselves
are the ones that you look at those people andyou're like, oh, that they always say, oh,
(09:09):
those are relationship goals or, you know,that's what I wanna be.
That's that's my idol or things like that.
And you look at these people and it's justyou're it's because they have their crap
together because they've learned these skills,and they're ready to keep going.
They want to keep going, and that's that'sreally what it is.
Yes.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
I think the the best thing I ever heard aboutgoals is a goal is something you don't know how
(09:36):
to do it.
You don't know where it is that you can do it.
You don't know anything about it except youknow it's something you want to do because
that's moving you forward.
That's moving you into growth.
If you've picked a goal that you already have,then you're just moving sideways, and you're
not moving forward.
You're not moving up.
(09:56):
You're just there back and forth like this.
You're not making momentum.
Even waves have momentum.
They keep moving forward.
Yes.
And and those goals help us to get there.
I think we we also and I think we also have thementality that if we mess up or if we fail in
(10:20):
any way, we're just kaput.
That's it.
We're done.
Yeah.
And that is wasted.
The total opposite of mentality of what youneed to be doing because growth is not
comfortable.
It's called uncomfortable growth.
You need to mess up.
You need to fail, and you need to recognizeyour failures so you can pick yourself up and
(10:42):
do it again.
Like, that is how you grow.
You think of a child walking.
How many times do they stand up and take a stepand fall down before they're running across the
room?
It's countless.
And when we take that same ideology and applyit to every aspect of our life, like, you know
(11:02):
what?
I'm gonna go off sugar or I'm gonna, like, onlyI don't know.
Just we do these crazy things and regulationsto ourselves, but we try to better ourselves.
Right.
And we mess up, and they're like, ugh.
I need to start again.
And I think that this is the part that peopleforget that every day is a new day.
(11:23):
Every hour is a new hour.
Every minute's a new minute, and every second'sa new second.
If you mess up, take a breath and start again.
The end.
Don't give up.
Do not give up.
Yeah.
And and you're not to me, anyways, you're notreally starting over.
You're starting from where you move forward tofrom where you had the failure, but you were
(11:46):
still moving forward.
Now you have to reassess.
Yes.
Okay.
What didn't work?
What am I gonna do now?
Here I am in this spot now.
I I still wanna be over here.
So how do I get there?
What do I do?
And so you try something else, or you findsomeone who knows how to do that, and you talk
with them and learn from them and keep going.
(12:07):
Yeah.
That's that's really great.
And it's it's always exciting too when when welearn something because we set a goal for
ourselves.
It's like, I want to learn this.
Now for me, playing the guitar, I know how topick the notes.
I know where the chords are for the life of me.
(12:27):
Strumming?
No.
You do not wanna hear that.
But I can pick.
I can play the piano.
I can play the horn.
I can play the flute.
I can do other things.
And I can touch with someone who can play theguitar beautifully.
Although I've never tried the bass guitar, thatmight be it.
But, you know, there's things you try, andmaybe you're trying it and you realize, I
(12:49):
either need to keep working at this till I getit, or maybe this one isn't for me.
Maybe I need to do the other things that I'mgood at.
And it's and it's not giving up, but it's it'sfinding what you enjoy.
And maybe I don't enjoy the guitar as much as Ido.
Maybe I just enjoy it because my brother andsister and their friends play guitar, and I
think it's really cool, and you wanna be a partof that.
(13:11):
And it's like, do other things.
I know how to read notes.
I know how to teach them to do that.
There's things I can do.
So it's it's, you know, bring them alltogether.
Yeah.
It's defining your strengths and defining yourstrengths and understanding your strengths and
then, you know, magnifying your strengths.
Yeah.
That's really what it is.
(13:32):
And I loved what you said, you know, aboutmoving side to side to start from where you go
because any progress is better than stagnationeven if it's a baby step.
Any movement is better than no movement at all.
Yes.
Absolutely.
And and you wouldn't think that would be thecase.
You would think that even slow movement or orpausing, taking a pause.
(13:59):
But taking a pause, you're building yourselfback up.
You're refreshing yourself.
You're getting yourself ready to go again.
If you are working at sports constantly,constantly, constantly, something happens,
somebody runs into you, knocks you down forwhatever reason, and you have a sprained ankle,
you can't just keep on going and going at a %.
You gotta give that ankle time to heal, time toget better.
(14:23):
So while you're there, what are you doing?
Are you in your other muscles?
Are you doing the mental work, seeing yourselfrunning again, seeing yourself going again?
You know, what are you doing?
Are you doing the therapy to get it better?
Are you icing it, putting heat on it, restingit?
You know?
But you're still doing something towards thatgoal.
And when you're taking a pause in yourbusiness, that's what you're doing.
(14:45):
You're letting things heal.
You're figuring out what is working, what isn'tworking, and what direction do you really need
to be going.
Because maybe you've been going down this road,but the course is gonna be over here, and it's
all uphill.
It's like, oh, well, I need to be running upsome hills then instead of always running
downhill and then taking the the tram orwhatever back up the hill.
(15:09):
It's like, okay.
I'll run uphill from now on, and then you'reprepared.
So, yeah, a pause is good.
Failure is good because it helps you reassessto see where you're at.
And and I don't quit playing the guitar.
I play for me, but that's okay because that'sall I want.
Right?
You know?
I just want to enjoy the instrument, and I cando that.
(15:34):
But it's When I was 16 oh, go on.
No.
Was gonna say when I was 16, I was acompetitive ballroom dancer.
I would compete all over.
And my dance partner, we were doing let's let'sdance one more time.
Let's let's do this this routine.
It was tango, actually.
(15:55):
Let's practice our tango one more time.
And so we're practicing our tango one moretime, and I did not film my ballroom shoes.
And he put on his sandals.
And my little toe got caught in his sandal, andhe stepped forward, and it broke the side of my
foot.
And I devastated.
So being a competitive ballroom dancer, thatis, like, the worst thing that can happen.
(16:19):
So I had and competition season was very, veryclose.
Very close.
I ended up with a cast all the way up to myknee, a hard cast, because I was I kept trying
to dance on it, and they're like, no.
We're gonna make this so you can't dance.
And what got me through that is continually todance, but I danced mentally.
(16:44):
I would put on you know, back then, we had ourheadphones and, you know, you had your Walkman
or Discman plugged in, and I would listen tothat music, and I would close my eyes, and I
would dance.
I'd go through the routines and everything elseand I'd go through the technique, way that my
foot needed to touch the ground, the weightdistribution that I needed to have, the posture
(17:07):
of my body, the elongating of my leg, all thethings And I'd go through everything.
And when I got that cast off, I felt like I wasa better dancer.
Even though I wasn't physically being able todo the moves, preparing my mind and doing that
(17:29):
and just experiencing it mentally really,really helped.
And, also, like, that I I can't remember if itwas that year.
I think it was that year.
Sixteen.
Yeah.
It was that year.
I I my dance partner and I, we placed second inthe nation Wow.
At national dance competition.
That's amazing.
Like and it literally that could have justdestroyed everything if I would have let it.
(17:55):
That could have just like, I'm done dancing.
I'm never gonna do this again, but I didn't.
And it was just like you said.
You know?
Sometimes you have to take a pause and aphysical pause, but it's the mental pause that
is is the part that's really going to affectyou.
Yes.
Don't take a mental pause because the mentalpause could actually be the thing that's going
(18:17):
to boost you.
Yeah.
Definitely.
Yeah.
One thing we've been doing is is writingsomething down and then reading it every day
out loud.
And there's just something I didn't I wanna saymagical, but that's really not quite the word.
That's that's actually a very calm word.
(18:38):
It's it's something that just like, it bringsit to life by saying it and thinking about it
and seeing yourself in that, feeling theemotions that go with it, and it lifts you up,
you know, helps you stand a little straighter,if you will, and just Mhmm.
(18:58):
Gives you the momentum to keep going.
Now what do you do when someone comes along andtells you something that totally wipes you off
your feet, and it's like, woah.
That came out of left field somewhere.
What do you do with something like that?
Now you've got what was this wonderful, amazingfeeling.
(19:19):
They just it's like they burst your bubble.
It's like, come back to Earth in reality.
And it's like, well, this is my reality.
Why are you trying to take this away from mewhen you have your own you could be doing?
But and that that
I actually had this experience happen to me.
(19:40):
Oh, not good that it happened,
but good So I was I was teaching.
No.
But, I mean, I learned so much from it.
So I was actually teaching.
Right?
And at the time, I was teaching a really youngclass, and I'm a Montessori teacher.
So I'm on the ground a lot.
There's no electronics.
There's not as many desks.
Yep.
(20:00):
And I had an assistant, and she was very, verylike, she had the nicest like, always the
nicest clothes, the nicest hair, the nicestmakeup, like, all the things.
Always, like, 100% put together.
And one day she made this comment to me, and itreally, like, kind of hurt my heart.
(20:24):
And then she goes, you know, maybe you should,dress so homely all the time.
You look really frumpy.
That's what she told me.
And I was like, that was so rude.
That was so rude.
That's fine.
And right.
And so I went home and no.
Like, before this, I told you, I'm like, Ididn't put on makeup today because my eyes
(20:46):
agitated.
I'm like, it's fine.
I'm good.
But I am comfortable with who I am.
And it took me actually this experience to getthere because I went home that night really
feeling down on myself, being like, I need togo shopping.
I need to go get highlights in my hair.
I need to, like, step up my game.
(21:07):
You know, you go through this woman thing whereyou're like, I need to look better.
And, it was very interesting because I had amoment of pause, and I had a moment of
reflection on myself.
And I thought, you know what?
I am so glad that I dress the way I do.
I can be on the ground with these kids.
(21:28):
I'm not afraid to get dirty.
I'm the one that's playing with them.
I'm the ones that's connecting with them.
And I love who I am.
These kids love me.
The parents I have great relationships with theparents.
Like, I love who I am.
Why would I want to change to pigeonhole myselfinto somebody else's box?
Box?
Why would I wanna do that?
(21:50):
She doesn't seem very happy.
She's the person that's standing on thesidelines all the time with their arms folded,
know, because she doesn't want to get dirty.
And I'm not.
I am in the dirt.
I don't care, and that's what I would want tobe.
And I realized I don't want to be pigeonholed.
I'm okay.
(22:10):
And the more that I became okay with who I was,regardless, we actually ended up becoming
pretty good friends, this woman and I.
And it was because regardless of what shethought I dressed like or whatever, she saw
that I had confidence.
And she saw that it didn't matter.
(22:33):
And she saw, like, there's beauty within.
You don't have to have artificial beauty.
Do you know what I mean?
You can there's beauty within, and I think thatthat sometimes when people are so judgmental or
say these rude things to people, those are theones that have the hard time seeing it within
themselves.
Exactly.
(22:54):
That's that's really what it is.
So when you can look inside yourself and seethe beauty within, hopefully, you can help
others to do that too.
Like, that's really what we want to be able todo.
And we today, we have a great relationship.
She's a she's a fun gal.
That's awesome.
It's awesome.
Well, today, for those who are watching thevideo, I have have high humidity here.
(23:16):
It is frizzy.
There's nothing I can do about it.
But I will say when I was younger
You look beautiful.
Oh, thank you.
I wasn't even married.
I was in my early twenties, late teens.
And I was at work, and someone said to me, andthis lady who always looks very nice, you know,
very well kept together, she goes, oh, I wish Icould look like you and just dress however I
(23:41):
feel for the day.
And I had spent two hours that day getting mymakeup on, getting my hair done, looking really
nice, and I was feeling great.
And she comes along, and it's like, I wish Icould just let myself go like you do.
And it's like, are you kidding me?
Oh.
It's like Well, it's it's funny because I don'tthink that they mean to say these things in,
(24:03):
like, a hurtful intent.
But I think it goes But the way that it comesoff is like Yeah.
Yeah.
It's good.
And I and I thought, you know, first, it kindalike, are you kidding me?
I spent two hours doing this.
And then I thought, wait a minute.
She just said she wishes she could let herselfgo.
Does that mean that she is always on the spot,always tied up inside?
(24:28):
I can't ever do anything that's not perfect.
I have to always be this and never be who shetruly is.
And I thought, gosh.
I feel for her because I am happy with me andwho I am.
I love my life.
Yeah.
Then other things happen.
I got into bad relationships, but that'sanother story and another show.
(24:51):
But it it
in there too.
It's okay.
Yeah.
Life goes on.
And but as long as you know how to loveyourself, you're able to continue to nurture
that love and move on.
So
And I think for for women my age, even some formen my age who have devoted their lives to
(25:12):
their family, to their career, to everybodyelse, And then they get a certain age, my age,
we'll say, and and they forgot who they are.
And retirement's coming up, and it's like, whatam I gonna do?
I don't know what I like to do.
How am I gonna keep going?
(25:34):
I don't and for some, as I don't wanna retirebecause I don't wanna face that.
So I'm just gonna keep working and keep workingto where today, whatever you are, wherever
you're at, start finding out what you do like.
And, you know, I like playing the guitar, but Ididn't like it enough to really keep learning
how to master that strumming.
(25:55):
But there's a lot of things I like to do.
And so you just keep going until you find theone.
I love podcasting, by the way.
That's why I have more than one podcast show.
But I love encouraging people.
I love I love for people to see the value theyhave in themselves because that value is
(26:15):
important, and nobody else has it because it'stheir life.
They're the ones who made the choices thatthey've made.
And that is so important because that's whatpeople want is what we can get from within
ourselves.
Well, and that is what makes humanitybeautiful.
And I think that we also forget that.
(26:36):
Like, if we were all exactly the same Yeah.
And we were all I mean, you know, the Doctor.
Seuss book, the Sneetches, you know, you hadthe star belly Sneetches and then you had the
other ones and they were so afraid to combineor do whatever.
And then they realized once they got all mixedup that it didn't matter.
(26:57):
Like, what makes a person is everyone'sindividuality.
It doesn't matter if you have stars on yourtummy or not.
It doesn't matter.
What is beautiful about humanity is thateveryone is different, and everyone brings
something different to the table.
If we were all the same, how boring would thatbe?
There would be no discoveries, no explorations,no individuality, no I mean, we've had probably
(27:21):
have the most bland food.
I mean, it'd just be boring.
It'd just be terrible.
But the thing that makes us beautiful is thatwe choose not to be pigeonholed.
Yeah.
We choose to expand, to fan the flame that wehave inside of us, and to keep growing, and to
(27:42):
benefit and help other people around us.
Like, that is the beauty of humanity isdifferent people coming together, appreciating
each other for where they are, who they are,respecting that, honoring that, and then moving
on.
And vice versa, that is what is beautiful.
(28:02):
That is.
I'm so glad you said that.
There's, you know, there's a lot of reallyinteresting people in the world.
In fact, I think there's almost 9,000,000,000interesting people in the world, and we all
come at something with a different viewpoint.
We all have this creativeness inside of us thatwants to come out, this imagination.
(28:28):
And and like you said, sometimes when we'rereal young, we've been not allowed to let that
creativity flow out, or we've been told this isa certain way you have to be.
This is the way it's going to be.
You know, my my generation, I don't thinkanybody in their thirties grew up with this,
(28:50):
but my generation grew up that you had to goget a good job.
If it had good benefits and good retirement,you were set.
That's all you need.
And Yeah.
Not even college was really looked at.
You had to get a college degree.
That came just a few years later.
It's like, well, you can't go anywhere withouta college degree.
(29:12):
You gotta have that college degree.
And then there's all these entrepreneurs andthese apprentice coming up who barely finished
high school.
Some didn't finish high school, and they've gotthese amazing careers that they're doing.
And, I mean, I I've even met two people whocould not read, had had very basic rudimentary
(29:32):
reading, but they had somebody read for them.
And they own their own successful business.
So all these things we've been told, yes, it'sgood to read.
Yes, it's good to have these other things, buteverybody doesn't have to do it the same way.
So you go at it the way that you want to go atit.
So when I talk to my writers that I coach, it'slike, this is your book.
(29:56):
This is not your publisher's book.
This is not your agent's book.
This is your book.
What do you want out of it?
What do you want the reader to get from it?
What is your idea?
Because that's what it's all about.
And we have I don't know how many books in theworld.
I'm not even gonna try to guess what thatnumber is.
Look how many books you have in your own home.
(30:19):
You know?
A lot.
Yeah.
Well, you don't wanna know my I've got walls,but they're all different, and they're on
different subjects.
And and it's just amazing.
Sometimes I just love to read books just to seehow the person thinks and where they're going
(30:39):
with something.
That's why I do Mhmm.
Movies.
My most favorite movies are the ones that havetwists and turns in them.
And I don't care how many they have in them.
You just keep twisting and turning, and it'llbe there.
Oh,
yeah.
And and it's because it keeps your mindinvolved.
It keeps you involved.
And that's why we need to be.
(30:59):
We need to be involved.
What do the people want?
What does your customer or client want?
You know, your your I don't know.
Mhmm.
But he has different names for that.
And I would love to know the names you have foryour customers or clients without using the
word customer or client.
So right into the show atwisdomonthefrontporch.com.
Tell me what you what you say.
(31:21):
Because I think it's important to share theseamazing ideas.
I took a painting, and and I know I'm switchingthe subject real faster, but I kinda wanna
prove my point.
I took a painting that I did to a friend ofmine who was having a fundraiser for
scholarships for kids.
And as we're pulling it out, he goes, wow.
(31:43):
I didn't know you were an artist.
And I looked at him, and I said, I didn'teither.
This was was the first big thing I've everdone.
You know, I've done little sketches and stuffall through my life, but I never done anything
like this.
And and so you don't know if you don't try.
Just take that step.
Take that step into something.
If you're not enjoying it, you don't like it,then step out.
(32:06):
Get in a different boat.
Yep.
Try something
new.
You do like.
Yeah.
So I love it.
And I wanna say again, thank you so much forthe article with the buckets.
You are so welcome.
That was
Yeah.
That is actually my course that I've launchedis the five self care buckets.
And that so I launched that course because youknow, it's funny because you said, you know,
(32:30):
what do you call people rather than, you know,your clients?
And I always refer to them when people arelike, who are you looking for?
You know?
And I look for leaders.
There you go.
That's what
I look for.
I look for people who want to lead because thepeople that want to lead are the ones that want
to help themselves.
And they see that, and they see the value inthat.
(32:53):
But my course, you know, has the five self carebuckets, and it's it's all about, like,
investing in yourself in five different ways sothat you can give of yourself because you
cannot give from an empty cup.
You cannot give from an empty well.
And if we're able to do that, then we're reallyable to thrive.
Yes.
Yes.
And and you were a little bit vulnerable in thestory.
(33:16):
I appreciate that you did that because, yougave a real honest this is what really happens
in the world.
And Yeah.
This is, you know, this is what we can do.
And so that was really great.
Thank you for doing that.
Yeah.
You're welcome.
Was, I just I I love the way your mind thinks.
(33:39):
I like the way you help people.
And that mindset, boy, I tell you, I have noidea.
You know, before January of twenty twenty two,I never even knew that there was such a thing
as mindset.
I didn't understand that you could change theway you are.
You know, I'd always heard, oh, you're the wayyou are, you're always gonna be that way.
(34:01):
You can't change.
Nobody changes.
You can't put a a you can't put lipstick on asow.
I think that's how the the term goes.
It's still gonna be a pig and roll in the mud.
And and it's like, well, okay.
But I'm not a pig.
I'm a human being, and I do have the abilitychange.
You are a person to go to, Bethany, to learnhow to do that, to learn how to get out of this
(34:29):
is the way it's always gonna be.
No.
There can be something different.
I can grow.
I mean, I can't believe how much growth thatmade just in three years' time.
It's just amazing what you can do.
You know?
Three years ago
Well, our brains are, yeah, our brains areneuroplastic, basically.
You know?
They're neuroplasticity.
(34:49):
They want to learn.
Yeah.
And it's about teaching them the because Idon't think from the very core, we can really,
really change, like, who who we are.
Like, we are kind of we are here, but we canimprove ourselves.
Oh, yes.
Can make ourselves better.
And I think that that is where mindset comesin.
(35:10):
It's like, you can't really change that piecebut you can make yourself so much better by
gaining skills and by really understanding whoyou are and how you tick, what you love, and
really just fanning that flame of desire ofloving to learn within you.
Yes.
And I think if we couldn't change, then nobodywould go on a diet.
(35:32):
Nobody would work out in the gym.
Nobody would get their hair done.
You know?
Mhmm.
It's Yeah.
Change is inevitable.
Change happens all the time.
If we sit still, change is still gonna happen,and we aren't standing still Yeah.
Because change is happening within us.
Change happens within us.
If you have a scar few years down the road,you're not hardly gonna see it.
(35:57):
You know?
There's I keep saying that word.
You know?
So there's something I need to change.
Yep.
But this comes from a culture I was in a whileback.
But it's yeah.
There's there's and change can be good.
The book my granddaughter did, Do Not Take MyLeaves for you know?
(36:19):
I love that book.
Oh, thank you.
But it's about change, and it's that change
can't be
good.
And change is part of being alive, and it'sokay.
Yeah.
I'm so glad she wrote it.
Brilliant mind.
And she didn't write it for any other reasonexcept she thought it's okay to change.
(36:42):
That was the whole thought.
Yeah.
It was like, wow.
How insightful.
And what a beautiful thing to think that atsuch a young age.
Like, that is amazing.
Well yeah.
And and we all go through things.
We we Steve Harvey talks about if you don'tthink you're successful, that's where you're
(37:03):
wrong.
You're already % success rate.
Look at all the things you thought you wouldnever get through, and you've gotten through
them.
That makes you a success.
And we can still keep doing that.
So whatever we've gone through, we can take it.
We can see what we can learn from it.
We can see how we can grow from it and keepgoing.
(37:24):
Go to the next one.
You've already done it once, maybe severaltimes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's beautiful.
That's so true.
It's so true.
You know?
You don't have to be stagnant.
You don't have to.
I think that sometimes we just feel that.
We just feel stuck.
We just feel overwhelmed.
We just feel stagnant.
We're not progressing.
(37:45):
We're self sabotaging.
All of the all the negative words that you canthink of, we're just there in this ball of
yuck.
Right?
But you don't have to be there.
And I think that that is the part that weforget.
You don't have to be there.
There is a choice.
Yes.
And it's what you choose to do that candifference.
Absolutely.
(38:05):
You're talking about that, all that negativewords.
I stopped one time to pay attention to how Iwas talking to myself.
Was it negative words?
Was I I'm saying words that I thought wereencouraging that actually had negative tones to
it.
And it might sound like, woah.
(38:26):
That's too overwhelming.
That's too woo woo wee or whatever.
But I realized that some of the things I saidwere really hurting.
It's it's we talk about being busy.
Wonderful friend of mine.
Well, mentor.
I'll put it that way.
A wonderful mentor of mine, Megan Unsworthsaid, don't say you're busy.
(38:51):
Say I'm productive.
Look how different that word feels on you.
Busy is just doing all of this.
Productive is accomplishing test.
It's Getting things done.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's it's pretty amazing how how we talk toourselves, And that's another thing.
(39:12):
Do we talk to ourselves the way we would nevertalk to anybody else?
And if you are so hard
They are our worst critic.
You need to stop.
You need to be your best cheerleader.
And Yes.
And you don't have to go around saying, who?
I'm the greatest, you know, even if you'resaying it in your mind.
But at least do say it.
(39:34):
You know?
Tell yourself, I know that was a tough weekthis week, but you made it.
You went through, and now you've got anotherweek.
You're gonna just conquer that one too.
And and it's gonna feel weird if you've neverdone it before, but keep trying.
Keep saying good things to you.
So, Bethany, tell us again, how can we getahold of you?
Where did we find you on social medias?
(39:56):
And I know you have a YouTube channel that youstarted, and I'm so excited about it.
So subscribe to Bethany's channel.
Thank you.
Thank you.
It's brand new.
So, yes, subscribe.
Www.thriving.
It's thrivingbynature.com.
And then I am thrivingbynature on Instagram andthen also on you can find me at thriving by
(40:21):
nature coach on Facebook or just Bethany Stone.
I have my profile open because I've learned Idon't have anything to hide at this point in my
life.
Yep.
Yep.
And and your YouTube channel, what is thatcalled?
It's called Thriving by Nature.
Alright.
Thriving by nature.
And I love That is me.
(40:41):
Thriving.
You know?
And I'm I'm a nature person.
Always have been outside or inside.
I like them both, but I love being outside.
So having nature Me too.
And I
think a lot of us are getting back to thatbecause we've realized that getting too far
away from it, we're really hurting ourselvesmore than helping ourselves.
And that's my pitch right now.
(41:03):
Conservationist, I guess.
Oh, I am I live in the mountains.
As soon as the snow is melted, I am in those.
I live right next to the Rockies.
And
Oh, no.
And I will go up in the mountains and backpackfor days, and it is there is nothing more
spiritually connecting, I feel like, than goingout in nature.
(41:25):
And I do not have be on the top of themountain.
You could go in a park.
Yeah.
But just taking a breath and listening to thesounds around you and just just feeling a sense
of gratitude for what a beautiful environmentthat you get to enjoy.
That is just such an amazing spiritualconnection that I love.
And and I know for people who have lived in bigcities all of their life, is scary to them.
(41:52):
And and I want you to know.
I understand that.
But it doesn't much to just go out for a fewminutes and come back in.
You know, my friend and I talked on the phoneSunday.
We hadn't talked for a while.
And she's on her porch, and she's I can hearthe birds behind her.
And I'm talking to her, and I said, just aminute.
(42:13):
I grabbed my cup of tea in the morning, and Iwent outside.
And I'm sitting in my jammies and bathrobe.
She's sitting in her jammies and bathrobe, andwe're, like, an hour and a half from each
other.
But we're talking on the phone, and she canhear what's going on in my background.
I hear hers, but it was just amazing.
That's good.
Sitting on
the front porch sharing wisdom with each other.
(42:34):
I'm not kidding.
But it was wonderful.
It's such a good friendship.
And and just spending that time with her, I'mlike, wow.
I haven't been outside all week long.
And it's like, why not?
And that afternoon, I went for a bike ride, andit was just amazing.
(42:55):
Yeah.
I think we forget we forget to connect, and weforget how healing the sun is.
Like, just having that sun touch us just warmsour soul from the inside out.
I don't know how to explain it.
Like, there is something about, like I knowthey say UV is so bad for your skin, but it's
really good for your soul.
So Oh, yeah.
That's my favorite.
(43:16):
Everything in moderation.
You know?
Even going outside in the rain.
I used to play in the rain a lot when I was akid because it just felt so good.
And and then, you know, you shake it all offand come inside and warm up with your cocoa or
whatever you have as a kid.
And, yeah, just and I used to go barefoot allthe time because I'm older and the body wears
(43:38):
out.
I can't go barefoot anymore.
Well, I do.
Don't tell my doctor.
But, but, yeah, it's it's you know, sittingsitting on a dock, on a pier, on the side of a
boat, and just letting your toes, you know,splash in the water.
It's there's just something Yeah.
About it, and and it's amazing.
(44:02):
So thank you, Bethany, for your time.
Thank your audience for your time and beinghere.
We really hope you found amazing value in this.
Be sure to visit us atwisdomonthefrontporch.com.
Be sure to find Bethany Stone, thriving bynature, and we'll see you next time on wisdom
on the front porch.
(44:23):
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you for joining us today on wisdom on thefront porch with your host, Ellis Kirkpatrick.
You can find us on our website,wisdomonthefrontporch.com, see previous
episodes of the podcast, and view issues of themagazine.
Did you know you can submit questions, leavereviews, or suggest topics?
(44:43):
You can also tell us where your favorite frontporch location is and what it means to you.
We hope you gain value and insight from today'sor previous talks.
We appreciate your support for us so we cancontinue to provide value and expertise to you
and others.
Subscribe to Wisdom on the Front Porch magazineand join in next week when we bring you another
great insight into the world of entrepreneurculture and lifestyle.
(45:07):
Make today a great day.
Always believe that something wonderful isgoing to happen.
Alright.
Here we are with Bethany Stone.
Who is ready?
Boy, I'm ready.
She has an article in the second issue ofwisdom on the front porch.
You'll see Willie j on the front of it.
You can find it on the website,wisdomonthefrontporch.com.
Go to slash magazine, and you'll see both thefirst and second issue there.
(00:25):
And I thank you, Bethany, for that amazingarticle that you wrote, and I thank you for
being here and for what you do.
However, our audience may not even know who youare or what you do or even why you do what you
do.
So let's start with with that first.
Who is Bethany?
(00:48):
So I am a teacher.
Like, to my whole whole soul, I am just ateacher, and I don't know how not to teach.
So I have been teaching for twenty two years,and I've opened up a school, and I've sold a
school, and transitioned into mindset coaching.
Because over these twenty two years, I've beenable to learn how people learn, And I've been
(01:12):
able to create curriculum and speak at a lot ofdifferent educational conferences and really
help a bunch of people that really neededsupport.
And I learned that I love well, I just I'm ateacher, and I am know how to do it because
I've been doing it for so long.
And so it's it's been fun.
I'm also a dance coach and a Bungee fitnessinstructor because if I'm gonna do it, I guess
(01:37):
I'm gonna teach it.
That's just how I am.
Yep.
I can understand that.
So, gosh, you were teaching and and you sold aschool and you've got your curriculum and
everything else that you're doing.
So I'm just gonna start out with this.
Where do people find you?
Because I love the name of your website.
(02:02):
My website is thrivingbynature.com.
So I feel like when I was going through, like,starting everything and picking my website
name, I feel like everyone has that potentialwithin them.
Everyone has the ability to just grow intosomething amazing and awesome and wonderful,
And so that's why it's thriving by naturebecause it is in our nature to be able to
(02:24):
thrive.
Yes.
So true.
I've been, doing some mindset studying,specifically every day for the last few weeks,
and and it's just been amazing.
Today, we listened to Bob Proctor talked abouteveryone has this creative inside of them and
what to do with that and, you know, the steps,the mindset, the creative, the never quitting,
(02:51):
and our imagination, and then taking action onit, not just let it sit there.
So why why did you decide to go?
I realized you talked about it being, you know,the next step and whatnot, but you could have
gone into other things.
Why mindset specifically?
(03:15):
Well, because I have worked in childdevelopment and I understand how the brain
works, and I also understand that by the time achild is seven years old, most of their
behaviors and tendencies and just habits andvalue system is really embedded inside of them.
(03:36):
And as we become adults and as we get biggerand older and things like that, we find
ourselves, like, having a hard time gettingstarted, procrastinating, feeling overwhelmed,
or even just having issues with conflictresolution, not being able to communicate.
And it's literally because we did not havethese skills embedded or taught to us during
(04:02):
this really sensitive time of development.
And so we became and came to adulthood likewell, I like to reuse this analogy like a piece
of Swiss cheese.
We're intact, but we just have a lot of holesin us.
And so we're still good.
I mean, we're still great.
This piece is awesome.
But sometimes we need to fill those holes.
(04:26):
And so I specifically teach the life skillsthat you need to be able to really not feel
that sense of a and to be able to reallyprogress in life and not feel stuck.
Something that I think is very interesting isthat when I was deciding, like, what am I gonna
(04:48):
do?
What am I going to do now?
You know?
And I I switched careers because I had a songet sick.
And so I'm like, well, I don't know how not toteach, so I am.
So, obviously, I'm gonna go into some type ofteaching.
A lot of people want me to do consulting forschools, and I still do.
But I decided that I've done so many parenteducation nights and so many, like, teaching
(05:10):
teachers and professionals and things like thatand realized that if I actually help the
adults, I'm able to help more children.
Yes.
Because things trickle down.
And so that's why I made the shift to fromchildren to adults because we are.
(05:31):
We're missing these skills.
And if I can teach these skills and turnaround, I'm going to be helping the children
anyways because that's how they learn is by us.
We are the examples.
We, you know, are the ones that kind of blazethis trail for them to follow, so we need to
make sure it's a good trail.
That's right.
(05:51):
That's right.
I'm glad you saw that.
You know, when you're talking about the Swisscheese, reminded me of this math tutoring
company.
I'm not gonna say their name here.
They were really good, but they presented itlike your bricks that you're building on a
wall, and you're missing a few bricks in thereto make the whole wall complete.
(06:14):
And so you are the mason.
You're covering the bricks, putting them in theholes that need to be done.
So we've got this complete wall.
That's a really great way
Yeah.
To look at it.
And I agree with you, especially being at myage now.
I've got a lot of years to look over and seewhat happens.
(06:34):
And, yeah, as a parent, as a grandparent, Idon't have the knowledge of something.
I can't pass that knowledge on because it'sjust not there.
And I love that you're able to help fill thegaps, equip us with that knowledge so we can
pass it on to the next generation or the thirdgeneration because usually it's the
(06:56):
grandparents teaching the grandkids.
You know, we still learn from our parents, butbut there's still things that are there.
That's a really great way to look at it.
You've got military kids that are transferringfrom school to school to school, and they don't
always have the same education at every school.
Even in the same state, different cities andtowns will have different levels of where they
(07:21):
are on the teaching scale and the learningscale.
So there are gaps that are missed.
So it's great to have someone who can help theadults, who can then, in turn, help their kids
through that or their grandkids through it.
Yeah.
There's just you know, life goes on.
It's not that I think in turn yeah.
Go ahead.
(07:42):
Yeah.
I was gonna say, yeah, I think in turn, like,realistically, yeah, I don't love it, but I am
getting older.
This is the reality.
Like, time doesn't wait and time doesn't stop,and time is a thief.
It's a true thing.
Oh, yes.
But
I don't feel I don't feel mentally older.
(08:02):
I still feel like a kid.
Like, I still you know, even though my kneehurts when I run now and all these things, I'm
like, woah.
What is that?
You know, all these things are happening.
But mentally, I'm still I still wanna have fun.
I still enjoy so many things I did when I wasyoung.
Yes.
(08:22):
And I think that that's something that weforget.
Like, honestly, we're all just kids inside.
We're all just big kids.
Really, we are.
And it doesn't matter, like, how old you are.
You can be, you know, four to a hundred andfour.
It doesn't matter because we all have this thisflame inside of us to better ourselves even
(08:45):
from a young child.
And it never distinguishes or we hope it neverdistinguishes.
And I think the people that learn how to fanthat flame and learn how to continue moving on
through their lives And learning these skillsand wanting to continually better themselves
are the ones that you look at those people andyou're like, oh, that they always say, oh,
(09:09):
those are relationship goals or, you know,that's what I wanna be.
That's that's my idol or things like that.
And you look at these people and it's justyou're it's because they have their crap
together because they've learned these skills,and they're ready to keep going.
They want to keep going, and that's that'sreally what it is.
Yes.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
I think the the best thing I ever heard aboutgoals is a goal is something you don't know how
(09:36):
to do it.
You don't know where it is that you can do it.
You don't know anything about it except youknow it's something you want to do because
that's moving you forward.
That's moving you into growth.
If you've picked a goal that you already have,then you're just moving sideways, and you're
not moving forward.
You're not moving up.
(09:56):
You're just there back and forth like this.
You're not making momentum.
Even waves have momentum.
They keep moving forward.
Yes.
And and those goals help us to get there.
I think we we also and I think we also have thementality that if we mess up or if we fail in
(10:20):
any way, we're just kaput.
That's it.
We're done.
Yeah.
And that is wasted.
The total opposite of mentality of what youneed to be doing because growth is not
comfortable.
It's called uncomfortable growth.
You need to mess up.
You need to fail, and you need to recognizeyour failures so you can pick yourself up and
(10:42):
do it again.
Like, that is how you grow.
You think of a child walking.
How many times do they stand up and take a stepand fall down before they're running across the
room?
It's countless.
And when we take that same ideology and applyit to every aspect of our life, like, you know
(11:02):
what?
I'm gonna go off sugar or I'm gonna, like, onlyI don't know.
Just we do these crazy things and regulationsto ourselves, but we try to better ourselves.
Right.
And we mess up, and they're like, ugh.
I need to start again.
And I think that this is the part that peopleforget that every day is a new day.
(11:23):
Every hour is a new hour.
Every minute's a new minute, and every second'sa new second.
If you mess up, take a breath and start again.
The end.
Don't give up.
Do not give up.
Yeah.
And and you're not to me, anyways, you're notreally starting over.
You're starting from where you move forward tofrom where you had the failure, but you were
(11:46):
still moving forward.
Now you have to reassess.
Yes.
Okay.
What didn't work?
What am I gonna do now?
Here I am in this spot now.
I I still wanna be over here.
So how do I get there?
What do I do?
And so you try something else, or you findsomeone who knows how to do that, and you talk
with them and learn from them and keep going.
(12:07):
Yeah.
That's that's really great.
And it's it's always exciting too when when welearn something because we set a goal for
ourselves.
It's like, I want to learn this.
Now for me, playing the guitar, I know how topick the notes.
I know where the chords are for the life of me.
(12:27):
Strumming?
No.
You do not wanna hear that.
But I can pick.
I can play the piano.
I can play the horn.
I can play the flute.
I can do other things.
And I can touch with someone who can play theguitar beautifully.
Although I've never tried the bass guitar, thatmight be it.
But, you know, there's things you try, andmaybe you're trying it and you realize, I
(12:49):
either need to keep working at this till I getit, or maybe this one isn't for me.
Maybe I need to do the other things that I'mgood at.
And it's and it's not giving up, but it's it'sfinding what you enjoy.
And maybe I don't enjoy the guitar as much as Ido.
Maybe I just enjoy it because my brother andsister and their friends play guitar, and I
think it's really cool, and you wanna be a partof that.
(13:11):
And it's like, do other things.
I know how to read notes.
I know how to teach them to do that.
There's things I can do.
So it's it's, you know, bring them alltogether.
Yeah.
It's defining your strengths and defining yourstrengths and understanding your strengths and
then, you know, magnifying your strengths.
Yeah.
That's really what it is.
(13:32):
And I loved what you said, you know, aboutmoving side to side to start from where you go
because any progress is better than stagnationeven if it's a baby step.
Any movement is better than no movement at all.
Yes.
Absolutely.
And and you wouldn't think that would be thecase.
You would think that even slow movement or orpausing, taking a pause.
(13:59):
But taking a pause, you're building yourselfback up.
You're refreshing yourself.
You're getting yourself ready to go again.
If you are working at sports constantly,constantly, constantly, something happens,
somebody runs into you, knocks you down forwhatever reason, and you have a sprained ankle,
you can't just keep on going and going at a %.
You gotta give that ankle time to heal, time toget better.
(14:23):
So while you're there, what are you doing?
Are you in your other muscles?
Are you doing the mental work, seeing yourselfrunning again, seeing yourself going again?
You know, what are you doing?
Are you doing the therapy to get it better?
Are you icing it, putting heat on it, restingit?
You know?
But you're still doing something towards thatgoal.
And when you're taking a pause in yourbusiness, that's what you're doing.
(14:45):
You're letting things heal.
You're figuring out what is working, what isn'tworking, and what direction do you really need
to be going.
Because maybe you've been going down this road,but the course is gonna be over here, and it's
all uphill.
It's like, oh, well, I need to be running upsome hills then instead of always running
downhill and then taking the the tram orwhatever back up the hill.
(15:09):
It's like, okay.
I'll run uphill from now on, and then you'reprepared.
So, yeah, a pause is good.
Failure is good because it helps you reassessto see where you're at.
And and I don't quit playing the guitar.
I play for me, but that's okay because that'sall I want.
Right?
You know?
I just want to enjoy the instrument, and I cando that.
(15:34):
But it's When I was 16 oh, go on.
No.
Was gonna say when I was 16, I was acompetitive ballroom dancer.
I would compete all over.
And my dance partner, we were doing let's let'sdance one more time.
Let's let's do this this routine.
It was tango, actually.
(15:55):
Let's practice our tango one more time.
And so we're practicing our tango one moretime, and I did not film my ballroom shoes.
And he put on his sandals.
And my little toe got caught in his sandal, andhe stepped forward, and it broke the side of my
foot.
And I devastated.
So being a competitive ballroom dancer, thatis, like, the worst thing that can happen.
(16:19):
So I had and competition season was very, veryclose.
Very close.
I ended up with a cast all the way up to myknee, a hard cast, because I was I kept trying
to dance on it, and they're like, no.
We're gonna make this so you can't dance.
And what got me through that is continually todance, but I danced mentally.
(16:44):
I would put on you know, back then, we had ourheadphones and, you know, you had your Walkman
or Discman plugged in, and I would listen tothat music, and I would close my eyes, and I
would dance.
I'd go through the routines and everything elseand I'd go through the technique, way that my
foot needed to touch the ground, the weightdistribution that I needed to have, the posture
(17:07):
of my body, the elongating of my leg, all thethings And I'd go through everything.
And when I got that cast off, I felt like I wasa better dancer.
Even though I wasn't physically being able todo the moves, preparing my mind and doing that
(17:29):
and just experiencing it mentally really,really helped.
And, also, like, that I I can't remember if itwas that year.
I think it was that year.
Sixteen.
Yeah.
It was that year.
I I my dance partner and I, we placed second inthe nation Wow.
At national dance competition.
That's amazing.
Like and it literally that could have justdestroyed everything if I would have let it.
(17:55):
That could have just like, I'm done dancing.
I'm never gonna do this again, but I didn't.
And it was just like you said.
You know?
Sometimes you have to take a pause and aphysical pause, but it's the mental pause that
is is the part that's really going to affectyou.
Yes.
Don't take a mental pause because the mentalpause could actually be the thing that's going
(18:17):
to boost you.
Yeah.
Definitely.
Yeah.
One thing we've been doing is is writingsomething down and then reading it every day
out loud.
And there's just something I didn't I wanna saymagical, but that's really not quite the word.
That's that's actually a very calm word.
(18:38):
It's it's something that just like, it bringsit to life by saying it and thinking about it
and seeing yourself in that, feeling theemotions that go with it, and it lifts you up,
you know, helps you stand a little straighter,if you will, and just Mhmm.
(18:58):
Gives you the momentum to keep going.
Now what do you do when someone comes along andtells you something that totally wipes you off
your feet, and it's like, woah.
That came out of left field somewhere.
What do you do with something like that?
Now you've got what was this wonderful, amazingfeeling.
(19:19):
They just it's like they burst your bubble.
It's like, come back to Earth in reality.
And it's like, well, this is my reality.
Why are you trying to take this away from mewhen you have your own you could be doing?
But and that that
I actually had this experience happen to me.
(19:40):
Oh, not good that it happened,
but good So I was I was teaching.
No.
But, I mean, I learned so much from it.
So I was actually teaching.
Right?
And at the time, I was teaching a really youngclass, and I'm a Montessori teacher.
So I'm on the ground a lot.
There's no electronics.
There's not as many desks.
Yep.
(20:00):
And I had an assistant, and she was very, verylike, she had the nicest like, always the
nicest clothes, the nicest hair, the nicestmakeup, like, all the things.
Always, like, 100% put together.
And one day she made this comment to me, and itreally, like, kind of hurt my heart.
(20:24):
And then she goes, you know, maybe you should,dress so homely all the time.
You look really frumpy.
That's what she told me.
And I was like, that was so rude.
That was so rude.
That's fine.
And right.
And so I went home and no.
Like, before this, I told you, I'm like, Ididn't put on makeup today because my eyes
(20:46):
agitated.
I'm like, it's fine.
I'm good.
But I am comfortable with who I am.
And it took me actually this experience to getthere because I went home that night really
feeling down on myself, being like, I need togo shopping.
I need to go get highlights in my hair.
I need to, like, step up my game.
(21:07):
You know, you go through this woman thing whereyou're like, I need to look better.
And, it was very interesting because I had amoment of pause, and I had a moment of
reflection on myself.
And I thought, you know what?
I am so glad that I dress the way I do.
I can be on the ground with these kids.
(21:28):
I'm not afraid to get dirty.
I'm the one that's playing with them.
I'm the ones that's connecting with them.
And I love who I am.
These kids love me.
The parents I have great relationships with theparents.
Like, I love who I am.
Why would I want to change to pigeonhole myselfinto somebody else's box?
Box?
Why would I wanna do that?
(21:50):
She doesn't seem very happy.
She's the person that's standing on thesidelines all the time with their arms folded,
know, because she doesn't want to get dirty.
And I'm not.
I am in the dirt.
I don't care, and that's what I would want tobe.
And I realized I don't want to be pigeonholed.
I'm okay.
(22:10):
And the more that I became okay with who I was,regardless, we actually ended up becoming
pretty good friends, this woman and I.
And it was because regardless of what shethought I dressed like or whatever, she saw
that I had confidence.
And she saw that it didn't matter.
(22:33):
And she saw, like, there's beauty within.
You don't have to have artificial beauty.
Do you know what I mean?
You can there's beauty within, and I think thatthat sometimes when people are so judgmental or
say these rude things to people, those are theones that have the hard time seeing it within
themselves.
Exactly.
(22:54):
That's that's really what it is.
So when you can look inside yourself and seethe beauty within, hopefully, you can help
others to do that too.
Like, that's really what we want to be able todo.
And we today, we have a great relationship.
She's a she's a fun gal.
That's awesome.
It's awesome.
Well, today, for those who are watching thevideo, I have have high humidity here.
(23:16):
It is frizzy.
There's nothing I can do about it.
But I will say when I was younger
You look beautiful.
Oh, thank you.
I wasn't even married.
I was in my early twenties, late teens.
And I was at work, and someone said to me, andthis lady who always looks very nice, you know,
very well kept together, she goes, oh, I wish Icould look like you and just dress however I
(23:41):
feel for the day.
And I had spent two hours that day getting mymakeup on, getting my hair done, looking really
nice, and I was feeling great.
And she comes along, and it's like, I wish Icould just let myself go like you do.
And it's like, are you kidding me?
Oh.
It's like Well, it's it's funny because I don'tthink that they mean to say these things in,
(24:03):
like, a hurtful intent.
But I think it goes But the way that it comesoff is like Yeah.
Yeah.
It's good.
And I and I thought, you know, first, it kindalike, are you kidding me?
I spent two hours doing this.
And then I thought, wait a minute.
She just said she wishes she could let herselfgo.
Does that mean that she is always on the spot,always tied up inside?
(24:28):
I can't ever do anything that's not perfect.
I have to always be this and never be who shetruly is.
And I thought, gosh.
I feel for her because I am happy with me andwho I am.
I love my life.
Yeah.
Then other things happen.
I got into bad relationships, but that'sanother story and another show.
(24:51):
But it it
in there too.
It's okay.
Yeah.
Life goes on.
And but as long as you know how to loveyourself, you're able to continue to nurture
that love and move on.
So
And I think for for women my age, even some formen my age who have devoted their lives to
(25:12):
their family, to their career, to everybodyelse, And then they get a certain age, my age,
we'll say, and and they forgot who they are.
And retirement's coming up, and it's like, whatam I gonna do?
I don't know what I like to do.
How am I gonna keep going?
(25:34):
I don't and for some, as I don't wanna retirebecause I don't wanna face that.
So I'm just gonna keep working and keep workingto where today, whatever you are, wherever
you're at, start finding out what you do like.
And, you know, I like playing the guitar, but Ididn't like it enough to really keep learning
how to master that strumming.
(25:55):
But there's a lot of things I like to do.
And so you just keep going until you find theone.
I love podcasting, by the way.
That's why I have more than one podcast show.
But I love encouraging people.
I love I love for people to see the value theyhave in themselves because that value is
(26:15):
important, and nobody else has it because it'stheir life.
They're the ones who made the choices thatthey've made.
And that is so important because that's whatpeople want is what we can get from within
ourselves.
Well, and that is what makes humanitybeautiful.
And I think that we also forget that.
(26:36):
Like, if we were all exactly the same Yeah.
And we were all I mean, you know, the Doctor.
Seuss book, the Sneetches, you know, you hadthe star belly Sneetches and then you had the
other ones and they were so afraid to combineor do whatever.
And then they realized once they got all mixedup that it didn't matter.
(26:57):
Like, what makes a person is everyone'sindividuality.
It doesn't matter if you have stars on yourtummy or not.
It doesn't matter.
What is beautiful about humanity is thateveryone is different, and everyone brings
something different to the table.
If we were all the same, how boring would thatbe?
There would be no discoveries, no explorations,no individuality, no I mean, we've had probably
(27:21):
have the most bland food.
I mean, it'd just be boring.
It'd just be terrible.
But the thing that makes us beautiful is thatwe choose not to be pigeonholed.
Yeah.
We choose to expand, to fan the flame that wehave inside of us, and to keep growing, and to
(27:42):
benefit and help other people around us.
Like, that is the beauty of humanity isdifferent people coming together, appreciating
each other for where they are, who they are,respecting that, honoring that, and then moving
on.
And vice versa, that is what is beautiful.
(28:02):
That is.
I'm so glad you said that.
There's, you know, there's a lot of reallyinteresting people in the world.
In fact, I think there's almost 9,000,000,000interesting people in the world, and we all
come at something with a different viewpoint.
We all have this creativeness inside of us thatwants to come out, this imagination.
(28:28):
And and like you said, sometimes when we'rereal young, we've been not allowed to let that
creativity flow out, or we've been told this isa certain way you have to be.
This is the way it's going to be.
You know, my my generation, I don't thinkanybody in their thirties grew up with this,
(28:50):
but my generation grew up that you had to goget a good job.
If it had good benefits and good retirement,you were set.
That's all you need.
And Yeah.
Not even college was really looked at.
You had to get a college degree.
That came just a few years later.
It's like, well, you can't go anywhere withouta college degree.
(29:12):
You gotta have that college degree.
And then there's all these entrepreneurs andthese apprentice coming up who barely finished
high school.
Some didn't finish high school, and they've gotthese amazing careers that they're doing.
And, I mean, I I've even met two people whocould not read, had had very basic rudimentary
(29:32):
reading, but they had somebody read for them.
And they own their own successful business.
So all these things we've been told, yes, it'sgood to read.
Yes, it's good to have these other things, buteverybody doesn't have to do it the same way.
So you go at it the way that you want to go atit.
So when I talk to my writers that I coach, it'slike, this is your book.
(29:56):
This is not your publisher's book.
This is not your agent's book.
This is your book.
What do you want out of it?
What do you want the reader to get from it?
What is your idea?
Because that's what it's all about.
And we have I don't know how many books in theworld.
I'm not even gonna try to guess what thatnumber is.
Look how many books you have in your own home.
(30:19):
You know?
A lot.
Yeah.
Well, you don't wanna know my I've got walls,but they're all different, and they're on
different subjects.
And and it's just amazing.
Sometimes I just love to read books just to seehow the person thinks and where they're going
(30:39):
with something.
That's why I do Mhmm.
Movies.
My most favorite movies are the ones that havetwists and turns in them.
And I don't care how many they have in them.
You just keep twisting and turning, and it'llbe there.
Oh,
yeah.
And and it's because it keeps your mindinvolved.
It keeps you involved.
And that's why we need to be.
(30:59):
We need to be involved.
What do the people want?
What does your customer or client want?
You know, your your I don't know.
Mhmm.
But he has different names for that.
And I would love to know the names you have foryour customers or clients without using the
word customer or client.
So right into the show atwisdomonthefrontporch.com.
Tell me what you what you say.
(31:21):
Because I think it's important to share theseamazing ideas.
I took a painting, and and I know I'm switchingthe subject real faster, but I kinda wanna
prove my point.
I took a painting that I did to a friend ofmine who was having a fundraiser for
scholarships for kids.
And as we're pulling it out, he goes, wow.
(31:43):
I didn't know you were an artist.
And I looked at him, and I said, I didn'teither.
This was was the first big thing I've everdone.
You know, I've done little sketches and stuffall through my life, but I never done anything
like this.
And and so you don't know if you don't try.
Just take that step.
Take that step into something.
If you're not enjoying it, you don't like it,then step out.
(32:06):
Get in a different boat.
Yep.
Try something
new.
You do like.
Yeah.
So I love it.
And I wanna say again, thank you so much forthe article with the buckets.
You are so welcome.
That was
Yeah.
That is actually my course that I've launchedis the five self care buckets.
And that so I launched that course because youknow, it's funny because you said, you know,
(32:30):
what do you call people rather than, you know,your clients?
And I always refer to them when people arelike, who are you looking for?
You know?
And I look for leaders.
There you go.
That's what
I look for.
I look for people who want to lead because thepeople that want to lead are the ones that want
to help themselves.
And they see that, and they see the value inthat.
(32:53):
But my course, you know, has the five self carebuckets, and it's it's all about, like,
investing in yourself in five different ways sothat you can give of yourself because you
cannot give from an empty cup.
You cannot give from an empty well.
And if we're able to do that, then we're reallyable to thrive.
Yes.
Yes.
And and you were a little bit vulnerable in thestory.
(33:16):
I appreciate that you did that because, yougave a real honest this is what really happens
in the world.
And Yeah.
This is, you know, this is what we can do.
And so that was really great.
Thank you for doing that.
Yeah.
You're welcome.
Was, I just I I love the way your mind thinks.
(33:39):
I like the way you help people.
And that mindset, boy, I tell you, I have noidea.
You know, before January of twenty twenty two,I never even knew that there was such a thing
as mindset.
I didn't understand that you could change theway you are.
You know, I'd always heard, oh, you're the wayyou are, you're always gonna be that way.
(34:01):
You can't change.
Nobody changes.
You can't put a a you can't put lipstick on asow.
I think that's how the the term goes.
It's still gonna be a pig and roll in the mud.
And and it's like, well, okay.
But I'm not a pig.
I'm a human being, and I do have the abilitychange.
You are a person to go to, Bethany, to learnhow to do that, to learn how to get out of this
(34:29):
is the way it's always gonna be.
No.
There can be something different.
I can grow.
I mean, I can't believe how much growth thatmade just in three years' time.
It's just amazing what you can do.
You know?
Three years ago
Well, our brains are, yeah, our brains areneuroplastic, basically.
You know?
They're neuroplasticity.
(34:49):
They want to learn.
Yeah.
And it's about teaching them the because Idon't think from the very core, we can really,
really change, like, who who we are.
Like, we are kind of we are here, but we canimprove ourselves.
Oh, yes.
Can make ourselves better.
And I think that that is where mindset comesin.
(35:10):
It's like, you can't really change that piecebut you can make yourself so much better by
gaining skills and by really understanding whoyou are and how you tick, what you love, and
really just fanning that flame of desire ofloving to learn within you.
Yes.
And I think if we couldn't change, then nobodywould go on a diet.
(35:32):
Nobody would work out in the gym.
Nobody would get their hair done.
You know?
Mhmm.
It's Yeah.
Change is inevitable.
Change happens all the time.
If we sit still, change is still gonna happen,and we aren't standing still Yeah.
Because change is happening within us.
Change happens within us.
If you have a scar few years down the road,you're not hardly gonna see it.
(35:57):
You know?
There's I keep saying that word.
You know?
So there's something I need to change.
Yep.
But this comes from a culture I was in a whileback.
But it's yeah.
There's there's and change can be good.
The book my granddaughter did, Do Not Take MyLeaves for you know?
(36:19):
I love that book.
Oh, thank you.
But it's about change, and it's that change
can't be
good.
And change is part of being alive, and it'sokay.
Yeah.
I'm so glad she wrote it.
Brilliant mind.
And she didn't write it for any other reasonexcept she thought it's okay to change.
(36:42):
That was the whole thought.
Yeah.
It was like, wow.
How insightful.
And what a beautiful thing to think that atsuch a young age.
Like, that is amazing.
Well yeah.
And and we all go through things.
We we Steve Harvey talks about if you don'tthink you're successful, that's where you're
(37:03):
wrong.
You're already % success rate.
Look at all the things you thought you wouldnever get through, and you've gotten through
them.
That makes you a success.
And we can still keep doing that.
So whatever we've gone through, we can take it.
We can see what we can learn from it.
We can see how we can grow from it and keepgoing.
(37:24):
Go to the next one.
You've already done it once, maybe severaltimes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's beautiful.
That's so true.
It's so true.
You know?
You don't have to be stagnant.
You don't have to.
I think that sometimes we just feel that.
We just feel stuck.
We just feel overwhelmed.
We just feel stagnant.
We're not progressing.
(37:45):
We're self sabotaging.
All of the all the negative words that you canthink of, we're just there in this ball of
yuck.
Right?
But you don't have to be there.
And I think that that is the part that weforget.
You don't have to be there.
There is a choice.
Yes.
And it's what you choose to do that candifference.
Absolutely.
(38:05):
You're talking about that, all that negativewords.
I stopped one time to pay attention to how Iwas talking to myself.
Was it negative words?
Was I I'm saying words that I thought wereencouraging that actually had negative tones to
it.
And it might sound like, woah.
(38:26):
That's too overwhelming.
That's too woo woo wee or whatever.
But I realized that some of the things I saidwere really hurting.
It's it's we talk about being busy.
Wonderful friend of mine.
Well, mentor.
I'll put it that way.
A wonderful mentor of mine, Megan Unsworthsaid, don't say you're busy.
(38:51):
Say I'm productive.
Look how different that word feels on you.
Busy is just doing all of this.
Productive is accomplishing test.
It's Getting things done.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's it's pretty amazing how how we talk toourselves, And that's another thing.
(39:12):
Do we talk to ourselves the way we would nevertalk to anybody else?
And if you are so hard
They are our worst critic.
You need to stop.
You need to be your best cheerleader.
And Yes.
And you don't have to go around saying, who?
I'm the greatest, you know, even if you'resaying it in your mind.
But at least do say it.
(39:34):
You know?
Tell yourself, I know that was a tough weekthis week, but you made it.
You went through, and now you've got anotherweek.
You're gonna just conquer that one too.
And and it's gonna feel weird if you've neverdone it before, but keep trying.
Keep saying good things to you.
So, Bethany, tell us again, how can we getahold of you?
Where did we find you on social medias?
(39:56):
And I know you have a YouTube channel that youstarted, and I'm so excited about it.
So subscribe to Bethany's channel.
Thank you.
Thank you.
It's brand new.
So, yes, subscribe.
Www.thriving.
It's thrivingbynature.com.
And then I am thrivingbynature on Instagram andthen also on you can find me at thriving by
(40:21):
nature coach on Facebook or just Bethany Stone.
I have my profile open because I've learned Idon't have anything to hide at this point in my
life.
Yep.
Yep.
And and your YouTube channel, what is thatcalled?
It's called Thriving by Nature.
Alright.
Thriving by nature.
And I love That is me.
(40:41):
Thriving.
You know?
And I'm I'm a nature person.
Always have been outside or inside.
I like them both, but I love being outside.
So having nature Me too.
And I
think a lot of us are getting back to thatbecause we've realized that getting too far
away from it, we're really hurting ourselvesmore than helping ourselves.
And that's my pitch right now.
(41:03):
Conservationist, I guess.
Oh, I am I live in the mountains.
As soon as the snow is melted, I am in those.
I live right next to the Rockies.
And
Oh, no.
And I will go up in the mountains and backpackfor days, and it is there is nothing more
spiritually connecting, I feel like, than goingout in nature.
(41:25):
And I do not have be on the top of themountain.
You could go in a park.
Yeah.
But just taking a breath and listening to thesounds around you and just just feeling a sense
of gratitude for what a beautiful environmentthat you get to enjoy.
That is just such an amazing spiritualconnection that I love.
And and I know for people who have lived in bigcities all of their life, is scary to them.
(41:52):
And and I want you to know.
I understand that.
But it doesn't much to just go out for a fewminutes and come back in.
You know, my friend and I talked on the phoneSunday.
We hadn't talked for a while.
And she's on her porch, and she's I can hearthe birds behind her.
And I'm talking to her, and I said, just aminute.
(42:13):
I grabbed my cup of tea in the morning, and Iwent outside.
And I'm sitting in my jammies and bathrobe.
She's sitting in her jammies and bathrobe, andwe're, like, an hour and a half from each
other.
But we're talking on the phone, and she canhear what's going on in my background.
I hear hers, but it was just amazing.
That's good.
Sitting on
the front porch sharing wisdom with each other.
(42:34):
I'm not kidding.
But it was wonderful.
It's such a good friendship.
And and just spending that time with her, I'mlike, wow.
I haven't been outside all week long.
And it's like, why not?
And that afternoon, I went for a bike ride, andit was just amazing.
(42:55):
Yeah.
I think we forget we forget to connect, and weforget how healing the sun is.
Like, just having that sun touch us just warmsour soul from the inside out.
I don't know how to explain it.
Like, there is something about, like I knowthey say UV is so bad for your skin, but it's
really good for your soul.
So Oh, yeah.
That's my favorite.
(43:16):
Everything in moderation.
You know?
Even going outside in the rain.
I used to play in the rain a lot when I was akid because it just felt so good.
And and then, you know, you shake it all offand come inside and warm up with your cocoa or
whatever you have as a kid.
And, yeah, just and I used to go barefoot allthe time because I'm older and the body wears
(43:38):
out.
I can't go barefoot anymore.
Well, I do.
Don't tell my doctor.
But, but, yeah, it's it's you know, sittingsitting on a dock, on a pier, on the side of a
boat, and just letting your toes, you know,splash in the water.
It's there's just something Yeah.
About it, and and it's amazing.
(44:02):
So thank you, Bethany, for your time.
Thank your audience for your time and beinghere.
We really hope you found amazing value in this.
Be sure to visit us atwisdomonthefrontporch.com.
Be sure to find Bethany Stone, thriving bynature, and we'll see you next time on wisdom
on the front porch.
(44:23):
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you for joining us today on wisdom on thefront porch with your host, Ellis Kirkpatrick.
You can find us on our website,wisdomonthefrontporch.com, see previous
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(44:43):
You can also tell us where your favorite frontporch location is and what it means to you.
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(45:07):
Make today a great day.
Always believe that something wonderful isgoing to happen.
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