Setting Better Boundaries for Self-Love and Personal Growth

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Have you ever wondered if saying "no" could actually be an act of self-love? Join us as we explore how defining your limits not only protects your energy but also fuels personal growth. This episode promises to empower you with practical tips and a compassionate approach to maintaining balance in relationships and reclaiming your self-worth.

Christine and Isabel guide us in understanding how compromising on core values often leads to energy depletion and emotional burnout. We examine the reasons why boundaries falter and learn how aligning our values with our interactions can foster healthier relationships. 

We also cover: 

• Understanding the significance of personal boundaries 
• The relationship between self-worth and boundary-setting 
• Exploring core values as a framework for boundaries 
• Strategies for communicating boundaries clearly 
• The importance of self-love in establishing strong boundaries 
• The solar plexus chakra and self-awareness
• Maintaining sustainable energy flow and emotional resilience
• BDSM and tantra as examples of healthy boundaries
• Practical steps for implementing boundaries in daily life 
• Encouragement for listeners to take their first step towards empowerment

..................

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:05):
It's time to remember your divine purpose and
limitless potential.
Welcome to Wisdom Rising, theofficial podcast of Moon Rising
Shamanic Institute.
Join shamanic Reikipractitioners Christine Rene,
isabel Wells and Chantel Ochoaas we guide you on a journey of
radical self-discovery andspiritual guidance.

(00:26):
Each week, we'll dance throughthe realms of shamanism,
mysticism, energy, healing andpersonal development to
illuminate your path to truehealing and self-sourced wisdom
Through weekly inspiredconversations and interviews
with leading spiritual andshamanic practitioners.
We are here to help youacknowledge, reconcile and

(00:49):
balance your energy so that youcan awaken to the whispers of
wisdom rising from within.
Hello, hello and welcome backto another amazing episode of
the Wisdom Rising podcast.
I am your co-host for today.

(01:10):
Isabel Wells and I am joined inthis conversation with
Christine Renee, our Moon Risingvisionary, and we're diving
into the hows, whens and whys ofspiritual boundaries.
So if you're struggling to findthe right balance with setting
boundaries in your life,swinging from people, pleasing
and always saying yes to feelingburnt out and wanting to cut

(01:30):
everyone and everything out ofyour life, this conversation is
for you.
This episode is packed full oftips and information and was
specifically requested by oursoul rising shamanic Reiki
students.
So if you have a topic thatyou'd love to see here on the
podcast.
We would love to hear about it,so feel free to leave us a
comment on this episode, reachout to us on Facebook or send us

(01:53):
an email at mystics atmoonrisinginstitutecom with your
suggestion for a future podcasttopic, and we'll be sure to
incorporate it in our episodelist.
In the meantime, we would lovefor you to join us over in the
Shamanic Mystics Facebook group,where we have a community of
over 4,000 amazing individualswho are walking the shamanic
path, asking spiritual questionsand now learning how to set

(02:16):
boundaries, just like youlistening to this.
So feel free to join us thatlink is in the show notes and,
of course, don't forget tosubscribe to the podcast so that
you can get access to newepisodes sooner and share the
show with your friends, family,colleagues, coworkers and
whoever else might be interestedin hearing the kind of content
that we bring forward forshamanic and spiritual seekers.

(02:39):
Also, be sure to keep an eyeout on your newsletters for the
next couple of weeks.
We have some amazingmasterclasses and special
offerings coming up in the nextfew weeks.
In fact, if you are listeningto this, in February 2025,
christine is so excited to beoffering a new special 21 Days
of Self-Love special.

(03:00):
For 21 days, you can engagewith her to hold you accountable
and help you create yourpersonalized self-love plan.
This plan will include three90-minute coaching sessions with
Christine so one a week to helpyou pull in shamanic techniques
, coaching techniques, personaldevelopment tools, self-care
rituals and practices and more.

(03:21):
To hold you accountable to 21days of self-love so that you
can break through the limitingbeliefs that are holding you
back from feeling like you areworthy, so that you can shine
light on the shadows that you'vebeen afraid to look at and that
you can really believe and knowand step into your self-love.
So if you've been called toexperience more self-love, be
sure to check out the link inthe show notes or reach out to

(03:44):
Christine directly via email atchristine at
moonrisinginstitutecom, or onFacebook at Christine Renee.
Both of those links will be inthe show notes if you're
interested.
And, like I said, be sure tokeep an eye on our Facebook,
instagram and newsletter for thenext few weeks, as we have more
amazing offerings coming, justlike this one.
Until then, let's go to theshow, absolutely so.

(04:07):
Today we're diving intoboundaries, and what I love
about today's conversation is wewere actually we had a soul
rising class.
Our last closing ceremony forour final cohort was next week,
or it was last week, and thenthis week we have a new cohort
starting, but one of ourstudents in our closing ceremony

(04:27):
was asking you know well, howdo you, how do you set really
good boundaries?
Like, we've learned who we are,we figured out our identity, we
figured out our values, we knowwhen to set boundaries, but how
do you actually do it?
Like, how do you stick to yourboundaries, how do you really
stay connected to them and howdo you do it in a really
compassionate way?
And so it was perfect, becausewe were looking for a topic to

(04:52):
talk about on today'sconversation and for today's
podcast, and this was the one,and it was so perfect.
And so I'm really excited todive into talking about
boundaries.
And, with that said, if you havea suggestion, if you have
something that you would love tohear us talk about in these
conversations, please let usknow.

(05:13):
We are always shaping what wetalk about around what the
community needs most, and so, ifyou have an idea, if you have a
question that you've beenthinking about or a topic that's
really been hitting home foryou lately.
We would love to hear about itso that we can bring it to our
Whispers of Wisdom and to ourWisdom Rising podcast.
So feel free to drop those inthe chat, to send them to us in

(05:36):
a message, to reply to one ofour emails any of the things and
we would love to include yourtopic in our conversations.
Absolutely, absolutely,absolutely.

Speaker 2 (05:47):
Well, welcome, welcome.
I am so ready for thisconversation.
I'm looking forward to thisconversation because I feel like
my life lessons have been allabout boundaries lately and I
want to get into all of thedifferent spaces because we
definitely have had numerousstudents want to have this
conversation, so this has beenrequested from our students to

(06:10):
have this conversation onboundaries and how do we really
do it.
And so oftentimes boundariescome up as a solar plexus topic
of really understanding whatyou're available for and what
you're not, and really gettingclear on your no and remembering
that no is a complete sentence.
So just recognizing where thisis located.
For our chakra system,boundaries are very much in the

(06:35):
solar plexus what I'm, who am I,who I am not, and what am I
available for and what am I not.
And that really is that, thatfirst step of understanding.
How am I really, what am Ireally available for and where's
the container in which I wantto exist, what's outside of the
container is the boundary LikeI'm not going there and what is

(06:59):
inside the container, what iswhat you're comfortable with?
And so it's understanding whereyour edge is.
What is what you're comfortablewith, and so it's understanding
where your edge is and ifyou're trying to move that edge
and get outside your comfortzone and where where is like an
absolute no right.
And so this is a veryinteresting conversation of
where you're at and being ableto do this work always comes

(07:21):
down to where's your self-esteemand where's your self-love
practice coming from, because ifyou are a people pleaser, it's
so much easier to havewishy-washy boundaries because
you just want to make sure theother person is satisfied or
content or happy, and when westart setting boundaries, we're
going to make some people upset.

(07:41):
If this is not what they wantand you're sending a firm line,
it's going to cause them to beupset with you possibly, and so
it's understanding why we havethat rebound.
Where are those relationshipsneeding to have those boundaries
and really being clear of whatyou're available for and what

(08:04):
you're not?

Speaker 1 (08:06):
And what I love about this conversation is, like you
said, it really does come backto your self-esteem, and one of
the ways that I love phrasingthis with our students is
boundaries are all about what doyou value, right?
So there's two ways that we canthink about our values.
There's just in general what doyou value in life, right?
We do this exercise with ourstudents where I have them sit

(08:29):
and for five minutes you writeout everything that you can
possibly think of that you valueright Adventure, love, family,
honesty, authenticity, integrity, connection, et cetera, et
cetera, et cetera.
And then, one by one, you takeone away.
And you take one away and youthink about, if I had to drop

(08:49):
one of these values, which onewould I drop?
And what this does is it reallymakes you look at this list of
what you value and decide whereare, where's their overlap,
right?
So love, kindness, compassion,connection might all overlap and
you decide that you know whatconnection is actually the
highest value in that genre.
And it really makes you sit andquestion if I had to get down

(09:10):
to five, if I had to take oneaway and one away and one away
until I just had five.
It really makes you sit andthink about what do I value?
Not what does society say Ishould value, not what was I
trained to value, but what do Ireally value in life.
And then you can take thesevalues and look at everything

(09:31):
happening in your life, yourrelationships, your job, your
finances, all of the differentareas of life, and really look
at does this align with thosevalues that I just set?
So with these five values inmind right, let's say it's
family, compassion, adventure,security and love or something

(09:52):
like that right, you can look atyour job and say when I'm
working this job, do I feelconnected?
Do I feel loved?
Do I feel a sense of adventure,but also security, knowing that
I'm safe?
And if the answer is no, thenof course you're going to feel
uncomfortable in that job.
Of course that job's not goingto feel fulfilling.
And the same thing forrelationships.

(10:13):
If you don't find your valuesin that relationship, it makes
sense that that would beuncomfortable or feel like it's
pulling too much from you.
And when we can look at it thisway, it gives us a framework
for understanding exactly whatwe're feeling in our life and
why.
Because if there is somethingin our life that feels
uncomfortable, that feels likethere's tension, that feels like

(10:34):
we're giving too much ofourselves or not receiving
enough.
It's because somewhere alongthe line it stopped aligning
with our values.
And that's one side of thevalues conversation.
The other side is understandingthat when you know your values
and you value yourself, that'swhere boundaries start to come
in, because we can know what wevalue all day long.

(10:56):
Right, if we know that we valueadventure and authenticity and
connection and love, we can knowthat all day long.
And connection and love, we canknow that all day long.
But until we actually valueourselves as well, we're not
going to be willing to take thestep to live in alignment with
those values.
And what I mean by that is,let's say that you do have that
job.
Right, that feels reallyunfulfilling.

(11:18):
Maybe you work a nine to fiveoffice job and you don't find
any adventure or security orconnection from that job, but
you're doing it anyway.
You're showing up for the nineto five because maybe it's
because it's what you'resupposed to do, maybe it's
because it's what's going to paythe bills.
Whatever it is, your mind has areason, it has a story that it
is telling about why you need tohave this job that's not in

(11:40):
alignment with your values.
And so, essentially, whatyou're doing is you're choosing
to value what that job gives you, whether it's the money,
whether it's the externalvalidation, whether it's the
appearance of being successful.
Whatever it is, whatever thatjob gives you, you are valuing
that more than you're valuingyourself.

(12:00):
Anytime we sacrifice our values,our top five that we talked
about, in any way, it means thatwe are valuing something, that
this situation, thisrelationship, this career,
something is giving us more thanwe actually value ourselves.
And the reason that this is soimportant and why it's so
important to really think aboutit this way is because this is

(12:20):
really what I like to call ourcost of entry, and what I mean
by that is we all have kind of agate where people get access to
our resources, our energy, ourtime, all of these things, and
if we have really low self-worth, if we don't value ourselves at
all, that gate is wide open toanybody and everybody, because
we're trying, trying, trying toget validation from other people

(12:43):
.
But when we value ourselves,we're a lot more selective with
where that gate opens, how muchyou have to pay, essentially,
how much that energy exchangehas to be in order to get in,
and when we know our top fivevalues, the cost of entry is
does this align with what Ivalue in life?
If it doesn't, then that gatestays closed and that's it.

(13:05):
But in order to be able to havethat control over what are you
letting into your life, what areyou letting into your energy,
you have to believe that youdeserve to have that kind of
control in the first place.
And I think this is where a lotof people really miss the boat
when it comes to boundaries,because this is hard, right,
it's not like standing up foryourself is easy, it's not like

(13:26):
setting boundaries is easy.
But I think where a lot ofpeople stumble is, you know,
they might know their top fivevalues, they might know that
they don't want to work this jobanymore, they might know that
this relationship isn't whatthey want, but they don't know
how to value themselves.
And so suddenly they're justpulling, pulling, pulling all of
that energy in and sending alltheir energy out until they have

(13:47):
nothing left to give and theybreak right.
And that's where we see thispush, pull of constantly having
to say yes and people pleasingbecause your gate is wide open
and then suddenly you realizethere's nothing of you left
until you break.
And then you burn everythingdown and you push everybody away
and you throw that kind ofhissy fit with all of your
boundaries because you realize,oh my God, I didn't stick to

(14:09):
these in the first place.
And then you feel guilty, youfeel ashamed, you feel whatever
it is and it creates this cycleis that, if we're looking at
this from that spectrum of howmuch are you valuing yourself?
That moment when you pop, whenyou quote unquote, finally set
your boundary right, is actuallyfeeding into more of that lack

(14:37):
of self-worth, because what hashappened is that you haven't
stuck with your boundaries, youhaven't stood up for yourself,
and then you're feeling like youfailed, like you should have
done better, like you shouldhave known better, like these
people are taking advantage ofyou, like you're not safe if you
keep continuing in thissituation, and so you shut down.
And so what might look like aboundary from the outside is
actually just anotheraffirmation of the fact that

(14:57):
you're not worth having ahealthy energy flow, you're not
worth having these conversations, you're not worth having
balance.
It's either all or nothing.
And I find that reallyinteresting, because when we
start to look at boundaries as aare you valuing yourself and
how much do you value yourselfand why?
The way that we set boundariesradically shifts.

(15:18):
Because, rather than saying,either I'm giving all of myself
to my job because I have noself-value and I need that
validation to, I'm quitting, I'mnever, I'm never doing this
again, or in a relationship,right, I'm giving all of myself
to my relationship, and then, ohmy gosh, they got too close.
I need, I need them to go away.
I'm shutting it all down.

(15:38):
It's where in this did I losemyself?
Where in this did I stopvaluing myself?
Where in this did thisrelationship or situation stop
aligning with my values and whatcan I do to bring it back into
alignment?
And it becomes a conversation.
It becomes this kind of game ofchecks and balances of does

(15:58):
this just need a slightreadjustment to come back into
alignment, or is this trulysomething where I can
consciously choose to let it gobecause it doesn't align with my
values?
But it's no longer a reaction.
Setting boundaries should neverbe a reaction.
It should always be a response,a conscious response of I know

(16:19):
what I value and I know that Ivalue myself, and I don't want
to value the validation or themoney or the success or whatever
it is, more than I value myself, and so I'm going to make a
different decision.

Speaker 2 (16:32):
Yeah, and so it really is coming back to knowing
who you are, knowing what yourvalues are and knowing what
you're available for.
And I think so much we forgetour self-love, like that's not a
priority we have, or we maybewe've never known how much that
part of our self, our trueidentity, that we need to love

(16:55):
Right.
And so it's really easy to notset boundaries when you have
that lack of self-esteem, whenyou have that lack of self-love.
And so it comes all the wayback to this place of what's
your core limiting belief.
If you don't find, if you don'tbelieve that you're lovable, if
you don't believe that you'reinherently worthy of good things

(17:16):
in your life, if you don'tbelieve that you are, that you
are divine and whole, all alone,then you're seeking out someone
else or something else to fillin your gaps, your holes and
your self-esteem, rather thanfilling your own cup first.
And so we always need to comeback to this basis point of

(17:39):
where are you in your self-lovejourney?
Where are you in your self-lovejourney?
Are you able to say I'm worthyof all of the time, love and
attention for me, and are wegiving to ourselves first?
Because when we forget to dothat part.
It is so easy and I'm guilty ofthis myself of trying to seek

(18:00):
that validation, acceptance fromothers, right?
And so when you have thatyearning to be loved and
appreciated and seen and heardfrom somebody else, some other,
that's when your boundaries godown and now you're seeking out
some type of exchange instead ofgoing to yourself first of

(18:22):
going.
This is who I am, this is thelove that I love myself and this
is the love I require, the, the, the behavior that I require
from others, so that I know thatI'm loved and respected.
This is like that value isthere, of self-respect,
self-love, because you can'tattract in relationships more

(18:44):
than you're giving yourself.
Like you will attract to thelevel in which you are already
healed.
So that if you are onlyattracting to the level in which
you're already healed, you willbring people into your life
that will mirror what you needhealing for, right?
So this is about taking radicalself-responsibility of going.
If you are attractingrelationships that don't feel

(19:05):
good, there's something withinyou that still needs healing
because it's reflected andmirroring in them, right?
So, like recognizing thatthat's the way we learn lessons,
how we heal, how we grow is byhaving these relationships that
will mirror back to us whatwe're lacking is by having these

(19:26):
relationships that will mirrorback to us what we're lacking,
right, and if you're in a reallyself like healed state, you're
going to attract the level inwhich you're healed and so then
you can have really beautiful,loving, accepting, healthy
relationships and so recognizingthat that then we can start
moving into where I love myselfso much.
Here's my boundary, before stuffstarts to happen Right, like.

(19:50):
I think this is where, um, like,if you want to really have a
great example of this, go to theBSDM community, go to the
tantric community, cause they'reall about having very clear
communication up front, beforethings start happening in
romantic relationships, of wheretheir boundaries are.

(20:11):
And so I find, like, in thetantric space they have these
really beautiful sacredcommunication ceremonies and I'm
definitely lean that directionbecause I love the spirituality
and and these and these andthese groups, because they're
going to ask what's your desire,what's your fears and what are

(20:34):
your boundaries, and if you cancommunicate that upfront one,
that's a huge piece of work justto do that.
This is what I desire, this iswhat I fear and this is what I
what, where my, where myboundaries are, and knowing that
at any point along the way,your no is going to be heard and
valued and things are going tostop.

(20:54):
And so I I appreciate their,the containers that these
communities build, because it isso explicit and it's really
rare and not often in commonsociety to be like I would like
to know your boundaries upfrontas we start this relationship or
whatever it may be right, likewe don't have a lot of sacred

(21:19):
containers or non-sacredcontainers that just want to
talk about where, what are youavailable for and what are you
not, and how do we come to apoint of these having these
conversations so they're notreactions afterwards, and I
think that's where it getstricky If we're just going wow,
that thing happened and I didn'tlike it and I don't want that

(21:39):
to happen again and now I'mgoing to set.

Speaker 1 (21:50):
What it really highlights is absolutely yes,
boundaries exist in the solarplexus, right?
Because until we know who weare and who we aren't, right,
until we know who are we settingboundaries for?
I tell my students this all thetime you can't set boundaries
for someone that you don't know.
You can't make decisions ormake choices for somebody that

(22:13):
you don't know.
And so how much do you actuallyknow yourself?
How much do you actually knowwhat you want, what you don't
want, what you identify as whatyou don't, what you value and
what you don't?
How can you set boundaries ifyou don't know, again, what your
cost of entry is?
Right?
All of these questions.
And so it absolutely exists inthe solar plexus, which is our
center of self-knowing.

(22:33):
And the actual process ofsetting boundaries and sticking
to boundaries requires all ofyour chakras, every single one,
because in root chakra right,let's start from the beginning.
When you set a boundary, youneed to know, you need to feel
safe in setting that boundary.
You need to know that, whetherit is that it's respected from

(22:56):
the other person or from theother entity, or whatever it is
that you're setting the boundarywith, or it's just in yourself,
you need to know that when youset that boundary, you'll be
secure, you'll be safe.
If you don't feel safe, you'renot going to stick to that
boundary.
You're going to then go and tryand find a different situation
to fill in what feels like ahole right.

(23:17):
And so this is where havingself-security, knowing that you
are safe, knowing that, whateverit is, your body is safe, your
energy is safe, your house issafe, whatever it is do you feel
safe in yourself?
And I think this is such animportant question to ask when
it comes to boundaries, becauseso often we think that safety

(23:38):
comes from outside of ourselvesand it absolutely is a factor.
Right, there are things in theoutside world that are unsafe,
that can happen to us physically, but the feeling of safety,
that confidence that we are safeand secure, especially in our
energy and in our emotions,comes from inside of ourselves.
And until we can find that senseof security in ourselves,

(23:58):
knowing that I can trust myself,knowing that I have the
resources that I need to be okay, that I can rest in my physical
body and be safe, whatever itis right and this is where it
goes back to that core limitingbelief or to our childhood
experiences of where were youtaught that you weren't safe.
Because a lot of the time weare taught that we ourselves,

(24:21):
our person, isn't safe, that wearen't safe.
And until we feel safe inourselves, until we feel safe to
just be present with who we are, we're not going to feel
present to set boundaries andwe're not going to feel safe to
set boundaries.
So that feeling going to feelsafe to set boundaries, so that
feeling of safety starts in theroot and then when we go up to
sacral this is where we find ourpassion and our sensuality and

(24:42):
our creativity right we need tobe able to have that flow, to
understand that, just like treesbend in the wind, right, they
don't break.
We need to understand that, asmuch as we want boundaries to be
a ride or die, yes or no, allor nothing kind of thing, more
often than not they have alittle bit of that flow to it.

(25:03):
Because, again, this is where wecan recognize that if we're
setting boundaries in a way thatfeels like it's all or nothing,
again, that push, pull right Ofpeople pleasing to burning it
all down, it's ultimately comingfrom that feeling of lack of
safety in the root chakra.
So if our root chakra is notsuper solid.
Our sense of flow, our sense ofbeing able to trust life isn't
going to be there and our sacralchakra is going to be turned

(25:25):
off.
That doesn't mean that therearen't going to be times where
we have to set a boundary of I'mnot going to talk to this
person again or I am quittingthis job, or firm boundaries are
a thing, but we want to makesure that in sacral chakra we're
bringing in that trust and thatsurrender and that ability to
look at life and go with theflow a little bit, to have some
of that creativity.

(25:45):
And how are we going to setthese boundaries to know that we
can have that joy, that passion, that pleasure in living our
lives and that we're worth thatright which brings us into solar
plexus, which again is where itall comes down to of?
Are you worthy to set thoseboundaries?
Do you know who you are?
Do you know what you value sothat you can set those
boundaries?

(26:06):
Because a lot of times whathappens is we don't take the
time to sit down and reallyinvestigate ourselves, to get to
know ourselves the way that wewould a best friend.
We have this preconception thatwe know who we are because
we've lived as us for our entirelife.
Right, but so often we saysomething or we have an emotion
or we do something and we'relike I have no idea where that

(26:27):
came from, because we haven'tactually taken the time to get
to know ourselves.
We've just taken for grantedthe fact that we know our mind,
we know our personality, we knowour soul.
But when you can bring thisback to the spiritual
perspective and understand thatyou aren't your mind and you
also aren't entirely your soul,when you are in this lifetime,
you are blessed with this thirdperson perspective, awareness of

(26:51):
both In this embodied form, youget to be the awareness of your
mind and the awareness of yoursoul and because of that you get
to learn about yourself.
You get to know yourself andinvestigate.
Why did my mind think that?
Where did that belief come from?
What life experience led tothat emotion?
What vision does my soul havefor my life that it's calling me

(27:13):
in this direction?
Have you taken the time insolar plexus to get to know
yourself, so that you can bringthat knowing up to heart and
then decide okay, how can I doall of this?
How can I bring that sense ofsafety, that sense of self-worth
, that sense of trust into myheart and bring that into my
connections with the world andwith other people in a loving,

(27:40):
balanced, compassionate way.
Those three things love,balance, compassion those are
all heart chakra and so are ourconnections with everything.
And then you get to bring it upone step higher and decide okay,
I know how I can do this withcompassion, I know that I'm
worthy to do this, I know that Ican trust the flow of how this
happens and I know that in thatflow I'm going to be safe to do
it.
But how, in my throat chakra,can I then speak that into
reality?

(28:00):
How can I use my words?
How can I really bring thisthought, this energy, into
physical, 3d reality with mywords?
How can I communicate my truth,communicate what I need,
communicate my boundaries?
And if your throat chakra isnot balanced, this isn't going
to go well right?
This is again where our entirechakra system comes on board, of

(28:22):
how are you going tocommunicate, how are you going
to speak your truth and wherecan you practice that?
In a place that you know yourtruth will be respected, you
know your words will berespected, so that when the time
comes to actually speak up inthat situation that's making you
uncomfortable, you'll have theconfidence to know that you can
do it.
And in the third eye, then wesee this big picture perspective

(28:44):
of we know on a human levelright, we know on a personal
level, why you want to set thisboundary because you value
yourself, because the situationisn't in alignment with your top
five values, because it'staking up too much of your
energy.
Whatever it is, you have yourreason.
But in third eye, we can reallystart to connect to and what's
the grander vision for this?
Why is this important in thegrand scheme of things?

(29:05):
Why is my soul telling me hey,you're uncomfortable for a
reason.
Let's make a change.
Because because then you get tobe in alignment with who you
were truly meant to be.
Because then you get to be inalignment with your highest self
, you get to be in alignmentwith the divine.
Your energy is going to beflowing because you freed up.
By setting that boundary, it'slike you've put a stent into

(29:28):
your energetic channels and nowthe energy can flow again.
You've opened up your energy sothat things can flow and you
can play the part that you weremeant to play in this lifetime,
which brings us back up to crownof.
Once you've set that boundary,once you've committed to I know
I'm worthy, I know I'm connected, I know I'm aligned, I know I
can do this, you can thenremember your connection to the

(29:51):
divine, the fact that you aredivine, you are sovereign, you
are all that is.
And by setting that boundary,by stepping into your worth and
stepping into your true self,you are realigning not just your
energy but the energy of thecosmos, because you have stopped
taking yourself for granted.
You've stopped taking thisenergy, this consciousness, this

(30:13):
spirit, this soul that youcarry in you for granted and
you've given it the space tostart expanding.
And when we can recognize that,when we can recognize that,
setting those healthy boundariesright Not the I'm going to burn
it all down boundaries, not theimbalanced boundaries, but the
true this doesn't align with me,this doesn't value me, and so

(30:36):
I'm going to choose to valuemyself, I'm going to choose to
live in alignment with thatvalue, you are essentially
committing once again to thedivine, committing to that
energy that is within me isworthy, and I want to hold space
for it and I want to give itthe space to expand, because
until we start valuing ourselves, we're just going to continue
to contract and shrink thatenergy.

(30:58):
But when we stand up forourselves, when we value
ourselves because we are divine,because we are sovereign, when
we stand up for ourselves, westand up for the divine, we
stand up for the universe, wecreate that space for that
energy to flow.
And suddenly you have thiswhole system where a boundary
isn't just a yes or no, it isliterally your commitment to

(31:20):
being the highest, grandestversion of you.
Because you are the divine, youare the universe and the
universe is you.

Speaker 2 (31:27):
And I love this idea of crown, chakra and boundaries
because it really comes down tolike really putting a stake in
it, putting a command in it,like I love me more than this
situation and having thisavailability to know that the
divine, the source, the divineintelligence is going to set up

(31:48):
your life to allow you to seeyour worth.
And so you might be put insituations where you feel
unworthy, so that you can wakeup to what the divine sees,
which is that of course you'reworthy, of course you're holy,
of course you're whole.
And it is your choice to say Iam no longer available to have
these types of experiences in mylife.

(32:09):
And so where are we actuallystaking a claim of going?
I am worthy, I only amavailable for X, y and Z, and it
really has to come from thispassionate place of this is what
I want, this is what I know Ideserve.
And then we are.
If we can't say I radicallylove myself, then the divine is

(32:32):
going to do its work to put youin positions to learn that
lesson and, once you're there,of saying I love me more than
the stress that this causes, Ilove me more than the somatic
nervous system stress that mybody experiences.
I love me more than having tohave this argument again and
again and again.
I love me more.
Therefore, I'm no longeravailable for X, y and Z and so

(32:56):
then we start removing thingsaway.
But it's.
We have spiritual boundaries,emotional boundaries and
physical boundaries and we needto really start looking at how
are we implementing boundarieson all levels right, so we can
have this in the spiritual level?
I am no longer available for.
I love me more.
I'm I'm willing to do the work,I'm willing to look at the

(33:19):
lessons, I'm willing to stepback and self-reflect and
journal and all of the things.
And where are we eliciting helpfrom the divine?
Okay, here's my energetic,spiritual boundaries I need help
with.
So maybe this is where theenergetic cord coming cuts come
in.
This is where we ask for Shivaor Archangel Michael or Sekhmet

(33:44):
or whatever deity that youresonate with.
That is really has thedestroyer energy that I'm
cutting those ties off, becauseit all comes down to your
attachment.
If you're really ready to letgo of energetic attachments,
those are energetic cords and sowhen we can say I release and

(34:04):
forgive you and really let thatgo, we're doing one level of
boundary work.
So this is the spiritualboundary work, and so, when we
can get to the spiritualboundary work, know that the
implementation of thosetypically takes 21 days to
integrate fully into thephysical form.
So, while we're doing thespiritual work of these are my

(34:25):
boundaries, this is what I'mavailable for and this is what
I'm not available for.
This is where I'm doing myenergetic cord clearing.
This is where I am doing mychakra spinning.
This is where I'm doing mylumin spinning.
This is where I'm doing myluminous energy field to really
make sure my energy field isclean.
This is where I'm doing myself-love work so that I can
create an energetic field that'sclean, that's contented, that's

(34:47):
aware, so that when we stepinto our everyday life, we can
feel our emotions come up, wecan walk through life and go.
Oh, and there's that emotionthat makes me feel constricted.
That's that emotion that makesme feel small.
That's the emotion that I havebeen not okay with, because it
makes me feel angry, it makes mefeel sad, it makes me feel

(35:09):
whatever and going I.
This is.
This is happening, becausesomething inside of me says this
situation isn't in alignment.
And so then we start creatingthe emotional boundaries within
ourselves, going I'm notavailable to feel this way
anymore.
I deserve better, I am worthyof better, I am worthy of more.
And so we have those emotionalpushes in to go I'm not doing

(35:32):
this, I'm not doing this anymore.
Pushes in to go I'm not, I'mnot doing this, I'm not, I'm not
doing this anymore.
And that's where we come intothe physicality of how are we
going to be able to voice it.
Are we?
What are we doing in our lifeto really put in place physical
boundaries?
Oftentimes in this day and age,that is comes from.
Are we one?
First off, are we communicatingclearly?

(35:53):
First off, are we communicatingclearly?
Watch out, that kind of was ahard to like, spit out right
Like, are we communicating veryeasily and clearly to other
people that I'm not available todo X, y and Z, saying I feel
uncomfortable when this happensand I request that this happens
instead, like, getting reallyclear on I feel blank when you

(36:17):
blank and request that blank.
Those are really goodcommunication skills to have to
get your point across clearly.
And when you start anythingwith I feel the other person
can't argue with your feelings,they're yours.
And so when you say I feelblank when this happens and I
request that you're setting aboundary, you're setting a

(36:39):
request, you're setting sometype of container of what you
would be willing to work with,right?
So we have that level ofcommunication and if it keeps
getting disrespected, it isabsolutely okay to come back.
Well, I had set a boundary.
You cross that boundary, and sothis is my new boundary.
And that I had set a boundary.
You cross that boundary, and sothis is my new boundary, and
that new boundary is stricter.
So the stricter boundary mightbe I'm cutting you off from

(37:02):
communication.
I need this much time of nocontact.
It could be I'm blocking you onmy Facebook page, whatever it
is to say like, look, youcrossed the boundary that I had
clearly set and I'm notavailable for this type of
interaction.
And so you have to feel intowhere.

(37:22):
Where are those boundariescoming in?
How strict do they need to beto reflect your self-love, your
self-care, your identity of whoyou are?
And so, if this is inrelationship with someone who
you don't need to have anyattachment with, it's your life.
It's your life.
And so you can start puttingthose very clear, strong

(37:46):
boundaries in place, because youdon't need to necessarily have
contact with them anymore.
This is this can be different,with parents or you know,
siblings or friendships whereyou want to continue to try to
work on the relationship andknow that you can still have
boundaries.
We talked a lot about thisduring the holiday seasons on

(38:08):
our podcast, like how do we havethese types of connections,
even though they can be hard andso you know, this is where we
really need to feel into byputting myself in these
situations.
Am I loving myself and is thisrelationship worth it?

Speaker 1 (38:28):
And you know, what I love about this is that idea of,
once again, where is your selflove sitting, where's your self
worth sitting, and it's aninvitation to to let go of the
expectations of how you thinkthis should go, because a lot of
times what holds us back fromsetting the boundaries that we

(38:51):
want to set is feeling like whatwe want to do is wrong, isn't
acceptable, isn't the norm,isn't what society tells us
should happen, that thisrelationship should look
differently, that we should beable to fix it, that we should,
should, should, should, should,whatever it is that story that
our mind is telling.
But when we can really sit downand ask ourselves, if there

(39:15):
were no expectations on me, if Ihad no idea what the outside
world expected from thissituation, right, or what
society tells me typically wouldhappen, et cetera, if I were
writing this story, what would Ido?
Would I continue to put up withthis?
Would I set a partial boundary?
Would I set a full boundary?

(39:35):
Would I try and work on it?
Would I cut it off?
What would I do if I werewriting this story?
And I think that's such apowerful question because it
reminds us that every choice wemake, every word we say, every
action we do is our choice.
One of the things that I waswriting our email for today and
one of the things that I waswriting our email for today, and

(39:55):
one of the things that I writeabout in that email, is how even
our beliefs are a choice.
What we believe about ourselvesand the world is a choice.
It's something that we'vechosen again and again and again
and now feels like a truth andfeels like a reality.
But we get to choose what webelieve.
We get to choose what we say.
We get to choose what we say.
We get to choose what we do.
And when we ask ourselves thatquestions of what if I were

(40:19):
writing this story, what wouldhappen next If there were no
expectations?
What would I do?
Suddenly, that boundary is goingto become a lot clearer,
because you're not trying tomake everyone else happy, and
this is really, I think, wherethe people pleasers start to
trip up a little bit is becausethis is the point where you
realize you cannot setboundaries for anybody else.

(40:41):
You can't If you set a boundary, thinking what's going to keep
everybody else happy, even ifyou're thinking okay, this is
what I want to do.
I'm doing this because I lovemyself, et cetera, et cetera.
But in the back of your headyou're going and how can I make
this palatable?
And how can I do this in a waythat everybody stays happy?
That boundary isn't yoursanymore.
You've given away a little bitof your power.

(41:03):
You've stepped out ofself-worth and into
people-pleasing, into.
My worth comes from other people, and we have to realize that
when we're talking about true,balanced, compassionate,
harmonized boundaries, whatwe're talking about is letting
go of the belief that your worthcomes from anywhere else except

(41:24):
inside you.
And that is, I think, thehardest thing for our minds to
wrap around, because we aretrained from day one that our
worth comes from the outside,that our worth comes from what
other people think of us, or howmuch we do, or what our output
is, or whatever it is.
We're not trained to think thatwe can come inside ourselves.
Right, that goes back to whatwe were talking about earlier.

(41:45):
Do you feel safe in yourself?
We're trained to not feel safe.
We're trained to not haveinherent self-worth.
And so when we go to set ourboundaries, we do so thinking
how can I keep everybody elsehappy, how can I keep everybody
else safe?
But that true boundary, thatone that's going to feel amazing
and feel right and feel alignedwith you, is the one that you

(42:07):
set for yourself.
Because, when we can wrap ourminds around this understanding
that, yes, we are all connected,we are all one, we are all in
this together, but I am the onlyone that I can make decisions
for.
I am the only one that cancause my own healing.
I can't, I'm not responsiblefor anybody else's healing or

(42:28):
anybody else's life or anybodyelse's decisions, because they
also came into this world to beautonomous sovereign beings and
because they are an autonomoussovereign being and I am an
autonomous sovereign being, theonly person that I can and
should quote unquote setboundaries for is myself,

(42:50):
because that is the only personthat I am responsible for in
this lifetime.
And so, when we go to set thoseboundaries and we're asking
ourselves, if this were my story, what would I do next?
It prompts us to again, withcompassion, with love, with
balance, with all of our chakrason board, to set boundaries for
ourself and no one else.

(43:11):
And those are the boundariesthat are going to stick, because
they are the ones that you aredoing from the core of your
being, from your ultimate truth,and I find this a really an
interesting turning point inthis conversation as well,
because something that's come upso many times for our students
the last couple of weeks is thisidea of well, how do I know
it's not just my mind, right?

(43:32):
How do I know it's not just myego wanting to set the boundary
or my mind wanting to set theboundary.
And one of the things that I'vebeen telling them that has been
so impactful is thisunderstanding that when we feel
that tension, when we feel thatdiscomfort, we talked about it
earlier in terms of it being asign that you're not living in
alignment with your values.
But what it really is is thatif you think of your soul, your

(43:53):
spirit, this capital T truth ofwho you are, the divine within,
whatever you want to call that,your soul as your truth keeper,
as your value holder, right,your soul knows what's in the
highest alignment for you,because it is the divine.
It is the highest alignment,and so what's in alignment with
your soul is in alignment withyour highest interest or your

(44:15):
highest good, or however youwant to phrase that, so we can
view our soul as kind of thesource of our values, the source
of those things that are truefor us, and when we feel out of
alignment with our values, whenwe feel that tension, when we
feel that frustration, when wefeel that anxiety, it's a sign
that the story our mind istelling is different than the

(44:37):
story our soul is telling.
And so, bringing this back tothe example from earlier, we
said that if you're feeling thattension and frustration, it's
because you are valuing themoney, the success, the external
perception, the whatever it is,more than you value yourself In
this way of looking at it.
It's your mind is saying thatthe money, the success, the
whatever it is, more than youvalue yourself In this way of

(44:57):
looking at it.
It's your mind is saying thatthe money, the success, the
whatever is more important thanyour soul, than your true self,
than this essence of knowingwhat is meant for you.
And so the amount offrustration or discomfort or
tension that you feel isdirectly proportionate to how
far the story that your mind istelling is from the story that

(45:18):
your soul is telling, aka howmuch different your mind is
perceiving the situation thanyour soul is perceiving the
situation.
And so, when we can do thiswork and we can recognize what's
the story that my mind istelling.
Why is it saying that keepingthis relationship going or
earning this much money, orsacrificing my energy in this

(45:39):
way, or helping other peoplebefore I help myself?
Why is my mind saying that thatis so important?
What is it worried that it'sgoing to lose if I don't do
those things?
What does it feel like it'sgaining from doing those things?
And when we can have thatclarity of, oh, it's just
looking for external validation.
Or oh, I was raised to believethat if I spent time on myself,

(45:59):
that means I'm selfish andnobody's going to like me.
Or oh, I'm worried that I'mgoing to lose everyone in my
life if I set a boundary.
It's like, okay, I canunderstand why the mind is
holding on so tightly to thatbelief that this is how I have
to do things.
Now let's hit the pause buttonand check in.
What's your soul saying instead?

(46:20):
What's on the opposite end ofthat story that your soul is
trying to get you to see?
Aka, where aren't you living inalignment with your values?
What values aren't you acting inaccordance with right?
What is your soul saying?
And 90% of the time, it'ssaying something along the lines
of you deserve more than that.
This isn't in alignment withyou, you already know, is the
thing.
You already know what your soulis saying.

(46:42):
That's what cognitivedissonance is.
And it makes me laugh becausewe wouldn't have that tension,
we wouldn't have that story, wewouldn't have this knowing that
something's wrong, if we didn'tknow what was right, if we
didn't already have thisunderstanding.
It's just, we never giveourselves the time to stop and
take a deep breath and question.
I know the story my mind istelling, it's very vocal about

(47:05):
that.
Right, my thoughts are veryactive.
But what is my soul saying?
What's on the other side?
What is in alignment for myselfand what's stopping me from
bridging that gap?
What's stopping me from lettinggo of the mind story and
hopping on board with how thesoul sees things?
Or what's stopping me fromliving in alignment with my
values?
What's stopping me from makingthe choice that's going to be in

(47:29):
that alignment and that flowand knowing that when you find
what your soul is telling you,when you make the choice that
your soul wants you to make,you'll know, you'll feel it in
your body.
Your physiology changes, yourheart rate changes, your energy
changes, your thoughts changebecause suddenly you're back in
alignment with your highest self, with the divine, with your

(47:51):
capital T, truth.
And so it's so funny to mebecause it really does come down
to you.
Know, when they're asking well,how do I know if it's not just
my mind, it's like does it feelright?
Not does it logic, not does itmake everybody else happy, not
does it appease your mind'sanxieties, but in the depths of
your being, does it feel right?

Speaker 2 (48:13):
Then that's the one.
Yeah, and so if your nervoussystem is completely out of
whack, listen to that, listen toyour body.
It often knows the answer.
And one of the curious thingsthat I'm recognizing is if we
look at this from a differentangle, if we look at this from
an archetypal point of view,from Carolyn Mrs Point of view

(48:34):
on archetypes we all have anarchetype within us.
View from Carolyn Mrs Point ofview on archetypes we all have
an archetype within us calledthe prostitute.
And the prostitute is very muchthis internal character that
says I'll give you this If yougive me that.
And there's this exchange.
And she reaps havoc becauseshe's constantly ready to
compromise her values, herbeliefs, her integrity in

(48:59):
exchange for something elsetypically materialistic, or for
safety or for whatever it mightbe.
There's this exchange going onthat the prostitute is ready,
available for.
And so when we alchemize theprostitute, when she realizes
her self-worth, her divinenature and connection, then she

(49:20):
alchemizes to the priestess, andthe priestess knows her worth.
She knows that she is worthy,she knows that she can sit on
her throne, she knows that shecan walk through life and
integrity and tell people no,I'm not available for that
through life and integrity andtell people, no, I'm not
available for that.
She's such an honoring of whoshe is because she knows she's

(49:40):
divine, whereas the prostitutedoesn't.
And so there's this point ofrecognizing yourself.
What are you prostituting inyour life in exchange for
validation, in exchange formoney, in exchange for feeling
valued?
And are you compromising,whereas the priestess is like
she's not taking anybody's shitbecause she knows that she is of

(50:04):
the most high and she is livingher divine life?
And so, like this was a big ahamoment for me is when I was I
was I was doing some healingwork in Costa Rica for an
ayahuasca tantric retreat andhaving this profound experience
of watching my inner internalprostitute alchemized into the

(50:27):
priestess, and the constantmessage that I was hearing is
that it's a lie, the prostitute,this idea of the prostitute
that she is unworthy, that sheis disgusting, that she is dirty
in some way, it's a lie becausewe're all divine.
But she needs to remember thatit's a lie, that she's unworthy,

(50:50):
that she's unlovable, it's alie.
It's a lie.
And when she can move fromrecognizing that everything that
she's been told, everythingthat she's been taught, to make
herself feel small and onlyavailable for this exchange of
I'm only like my money, myvalues, everything comes from
others.
When she can recognize that's alie, then she starts

(51:13):
transforming into the priestess.
Because the priestess knows herworth.
She knows what she's availablefor and what she's not.
She knows how to communicateclearly her values and her
boundaries and her fears and herdesires, because she knows
she's inherently worthy of them,right?

(51:33):
So if you're in that struggle oflike I just keep giving my
power away the prostituteconstantly gives her power away
in exchange for right how can weclaim our power back?
How can we claim this is who Iam, this is my worth, this is my
values and now I'm going tostand in my truth as the

(51:54):
priestess.
So if you need some anotherarchetypal, bigger picture like
understanding of how this works,this one is really helped me to
really recognize who is sittingon my internal throne.
Am I letting someone else makethe decisions and rules or is it
my divine higher self?
And am I being able to live mylife in accordance with my

(52:18):
higher self?
Or am I letting another,smaller version and fear rule my
life?
Because when we're in fear, ourboundaries suck, boundaries
aren't there because we'reafraid.
We're afraid of rejection,we're afraid of prosecution,
we're afraid of betrayal, we'reafraid of all of these things

(52:39):
that make us prostitute ourvalues Right, and so we
recognizing where we're at onthat spectrum of am I living
from a priestess point of viewor am I living from a prostitute
point of view?
And if you are living at theprostitute, can you tell her
that she's been lied to?
She's been lied to.

(53:00):
This is society.
This is others trying tocontrol her.
That's making her feel small,because it's a lie.
She is divine, she is worthy ofhealing, and when she
recognizes that, she willtransform into the priestess.

Speaker 1 (53:15):
And knowing that those archetypes do work both
ways.
Right?
We're using the feminineversions of those for this
example, but it does work in themasculine energy as well.
These are universal archetypesof are you giving your energy
away in exchange for, or are youclaiming your power to receive,

(53:35):
X, y, z?
Right?
It's that yin-yang give andtake.
Are you doing it in a balancedand harmonized way?
And, once again, that's what'sso important about boundaries is
, even when it's a hard line,right, even when it's like
Christine was saying earlier I'mgoing to block this person on
my Facebook that doesn't meanit's not done in a compassionate

(53:57):
way, that doesn't mean it's notdone in a way that is aligned
with the divine.
Hard boundaries can still behard boundaries, but it's about
the knowingness that when youare honoring your energy, you
are offering the space for theperson on the other end to honor
their own energy first andforemost, but you're also

(54:17):
committing to and this issomething that has really helped
me when it comes to boundariesof I truly want, let's say, in
terms of our students right.
When I look at our students, Iwant them to live the highest,
most aligned, best life for them.
That is my ultimate vision forour students.
Why would I want anything lessfor myself?
Why would I want anything lessfor myself?

(54:40):
And if I'm truly holding tothis vision that I am living the
highest, most aligned life formyself, then a situation where I
am giving away my energy or I'mnot receiving enough energy or
something's imbalanced or toxicin some way, that's not only not
the best and highest for me,but it's definitely not the best
and highest for the otherperson or the company or

(55:02):
whatever it is that you're aboutto set that boundary with.
If it's not the best andhighest for one person, then
it's not the best and highestfor anyone, and I think that's
been a really powerful tool forsomeone like me who is a people
pleaser, right In my pastiterations of Isabel.
I have been a huge peoplepleaser and I still struggle

(55:23):
with it sometimes, but I lovethis idea of if it's not the
best and highest for me, thenit's not the best and highest
for anybody.
Not because my wellbeing or myhealth or my whatever is worth
more than others, but because ifyou're looking at the flow of
energy, if you're looking at theself energy, if you're looking
at the self-worth and the loveand the connection and the
compassion and the containerthat those boundaries create.

(55:46):
We are all connected.
We are all one.
My energy is influencingeverybody else's energy and vice
versa.
And so when I am not flowing,when I am not in that highest,
most aligned flow, that meansthat that person whose energy
I'm interacting with is now alsonot in their highest, most
aligned flow.

(56:06):
Now, does that mean that bysetting this boundary, their
life is going to turn into theirmost highest aligned version?
No, because again, I'm notresponsible for them.
I can't make that decision forthem, I can't make that choice
for them.
But I can make that choice tostep into the highest and most
aligned for me in this moment,knowing that it opens the
opportunity for everyone to findthat balance.

(56:29):
Whereas if I continue to stay inthat situation, if I continue
to contribute to the energyimbalance because even if we are
the people pleaser, even ifwe're giving ourselves, even if
we're trying to do the rightthing, we're still contributing
to the imbalance we're stillagain coming back to that
radical self-responsibility,we're still facilitating that

(56:51):
energy, we're still contributingto that situation.
And so when we take a step backand say this is not in
alignment with my greatest andhighest good and I can make the
choice to do something different, knowing that by stepping back
into alignment and flow, my partis done, my facilitation of
this situation is done, and so Ican step back and release that

(57:14):
energy so that this person nowhas the opportunity to figure
out what they want to do withthe energy that has shifted.
Now that I'm not there anymore,now that I'm not contributing,
I don't get to choose what theydo with it.
I don't get to choose what theoutcome is, but I can recognize
that when I honor my greatest,highest, most aligned self, from
that soul perspective, thatcapital T truth, that values

(57:36):
perspective, that I am alsodoing the best that I can with
the choices and the abilitiesthat I have, while honoring
their autonomy, to give theother person or the company or
whatever it is, the person onthe other side their best chance
at their highest, most alignedexperience as well.
And that has been even insomething like a breakup right,

(57:58):
where it's a great relationshipbut it's not the one or, as
Christine said, it's not thebeloved right, it's not the
highest, most aligned.
Why would you continue to stayin a relationship that's less
than perfect?
Because you're holding both ofyou back from the perfect, from

(58:18):
the beloved, from the highestand most aligned.
And it's the same way when weset boundaries, why would you
hold both parties in an energypattern that is less than the
highest and most aligned,knowing that the only thing that
you can do is make that choiceon your end?
You can't do it for the otherperson, but you can do it for
yourself, and that creates thatspace, and that's another really

(58:40):
helpful tool to bring us backinto alignment with what our
boundaries are really meant tobe, which is that honoring of
who we truly are.

Speaker 2 (58:49):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, Yep, exactly.
And I also want to like getinto the house.
Like we have so many studentswho like, no, like, let's break
it down.
How do I actually do this?
And so, real briefly, it is onestep one doing the self-love
work, getting really clear onwhat you're, what you want in

(59:11):
life, what your desires are andwhere your comfort zone is, so
that you can know I'm willing togo this far outside of my
comfort zone for, like, learninghow to grow, and yet I'm always
available to say what if it's,if this is too much like I think
there needs to also be thisawareness of when I set a

(59:33):
boundary, I'm available for thisbut not, but not that.
And then you get closer to thatand like, actually I might want
to try that it's okay to changeyour mind first and foremost,
like it's okay to change yourmind If you get more and more
comfortable with your self-loveand going.
I could see that being a waythat that could stretch me in a
really lovely, positive way.

(59:53):
So know that you can set aboundary and then change the
boundary later on.
So these don't have to be walls, they don't have to be fixed.
And when it comes torelationship with others, it's
really about are you feelingrespected, valued, loved,
honored, supported, witnessed inthe process, right?
Like there can be this, like Ihave boundaries about what I'm

(01:00:17):
available for and loving someoneelse, and then I get to know
them and the walls and thoseboundaries start to soften
because you want to share moreof who you are with them, right,
and so know that this can befixed or fluid, depending on the
situation.
And it all comes down to areyou valuing yourself?

(01:00:38):
Is this a form of self-love?
And if the answer is no, keepyour boundaries.
Keep those boundaries up, right, and so we get to.
We get to move into this and torecognize how can I start
practicing loving boundarieswith myself?
And so this is about havingdiscipline, having this I'm

(01:01:01):
showing up for me.
How can you start practicingboundaries in your own everyday
life?
And so you might have noticedthat I'm doing a 21 day radical
self-love journey on my Facebookand Instagram pages, because
I'm choosing me and I'mradically showing up to do this
work and I'm sharing it with theworld because it's my boundary
with myself.
I'm going to do this work andI'm sharing it with the world

(01:01:21):
because it's my boundary withmyself.
I'm going to do this right,hopefully as an inspiration to
all of you.
But this is a boundary, and sothis is how we practice.
Our boundaries is by workingwithin our own container of like
I'm going to show up for me inthis way on a regular basis and
that is a really fantastic wayto lean into your own boundaries

(01:01:41):
for your self-care.
So, having that dedicated spaceand then when you do that, it's
so much easier to go.
You know what?
I'm not available to go on anearly coffee date at 8 AM
because I need to take the timeto do my self-care practice in
the morning.
Right, like, voila, you nowhave better boundaries of going.

(01:02:02):
You know I'm not available forthat, but I am available to meet
you at nine or whatever it maybe.
Like.
Where is your flexibility?
And so practicing on the littlethings can start help you to
really be able to communicate onthe bigger, heavier things.
So start small and getcomfortable with that, and then
people are going to be like whoa, whoa, whoa.

(01:02:23):
She was always like I would asksomething and she would just
jump right as a people pleaser.
Someone asked me something andthen going actually, I'm not
available for that, you know, um, and, and that's okay.
It's really beautiful whenyou're in relationship with
someone to be like you know what.
I'm actually not available foryou to come over today.

(01:02:43):
My house is a mess and I reallydon't feel like it would honor
our quality time togetherbecause I would be too
distracted by my house.
Can we meet somewhere else?
That's a boundary right, and sowhere can we go?
Oh, okay, great, I don't needto come to your house, let's
meet somewhere else instead.
Right, like, so practice on theeasy, small things so that when

(01:03:04):
you need to have, actually, ifyou have a bunch of small things
, you won't really need to havethe bigger things.
That's the way it works.
They kind of stack up and then,when it gets to like you need
to have harder, more difficultconversations with people, it
becomes a lot easier to do that.
So I remember in my firstmarriage, when I got divorced, I

(01:03:26):
needed to have really clearphysical boundaries, and so I
became a broken record.
When the phone rang it wasplease call my lawyer, please
call my.
Like I wouldn't talk to him,like I had to become a broken
record, like these were hardboundaries, right, we were way,
way beyond the little things soI needed to have a broken record
piece that I could say againand again and again, because it

(01:03:48):
was toxic.
And then there's the emotionalboundaries Noticing if someone
is hooking into your energy andtrying to get your attention and
energy.
Notice that.
Notice where your energy isgetting played on, because that
is something.
If they're trying to hook in tohave an emotional reaction,
it's because they're trying tohave that cord cut.

(01:04:10):
And there those typically areenergy vampires who are seeking
out to steal your energy.
No, not available for that, I'mnot available for that.
No, not available for that, I'mnot available for that.
And then on the, on the, thepsychic boundaries this is where
you can envision havingenergetic walls, like a
crystalline wall between you twoso that it can't penetrate and

(01:04:30):
come through Right.
So there's a lot of differentways that you can have physical,
emotional and and spiritualboundaries with people.
And knowing where are youBecause everything needs to come
back to this is a reflection ofself-love.
Boundaries are a reflection ofself-love.
And are you available to haveself-boundaries?

(01:04:52):
Have a dedicated practice toyour self-love so that you know
you're worthy of the boundarieswith other people.
Practice to your self-love sothat you know you're worthy of
the boundaries with other people, absolutely, absolutely.

Speaker 1 (01:05:05):
And so, with that said, knowing that this is where
we start, we start with thatself-evaluation, with knowing
who are you, what do you value,what is stopping you from
valuing yourself, and how canyou begin to practice, in the
big and the little ways, valuingyourself, putting yourself

(01:05:26):
first, setting that firstboundary of I'm going to put
myself first, I'm going to valuemyself and love myself in the
small things so that when thebig things come up, I'll have
more confidence and I'll havehad practice.
And so we would love to hearwhat your first step is going to
be.
What's going to be that firstsmall action that you take to

(01:05:49):
value yourself?
Is that setting the boundaryand not going to your morning
meeting?
Is that taking time tonight totake a bath and read a book?
Is that going for a walk sothat your body gets exercise?
Is that finally speaking up andsaying you know what?
I don't want to have thisconversation again.
I'm done.
What is it for you, what isyour first step to setting

(01:06:10):
boundaries in your life, tovaluing yourself in your life?
We would love to hear youranswer and your top takeaway
from this conversation over inour Shamanic Mystics Facebook
group and until next time, mayyou awaken to the whispers of
wisdom rising from within.
Thanks for tuning in to today'sshow.

(01:06:34):
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(01:06:56):
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Once again, thank you forsharing space with us today, and
until next time, may you awakento the whispers of wisdom
rising from within.