In this episode, we dive into the hidden layers of our triggers and how they’re often a reflection of our own healing journey — not the person who triggered us.
Trauma bonds are more common than we think. We tend to connect with people who share similar experiences, not only because we relate, but because we unconsciously form unspoken agreements to protect our shared wounds. At first, these bonds feel strong, but as the relationship deepens, the person we once saw as our perfect match (and still may) inevitably triggers the hidden landmine of our trauma, and chaos ensues.
My coach once told me, “When someone hurts or frustrates you, write them a thank-you note and do your work.” At the time, it stung! But her wisdom was undeniable: it’s not about the other person — it’s about what’s happening inside of you. Triggers are invitations to heal. The more we heal, the fewer triggers we experience.
Kristin and I explore the patterns of triggers and trauma, and how they can spark transformative healing when we recognize our role in the cycle. We also discuss the ways we cope with (and often hide) our trauma: avoidance, procrastination, anxiety, depression, people-pleasing, overworking, substance abuse, and even health crises.
The key is awareness — once you identify your coping mechanisms, you can start making changes. Healing takes time, but it is always possible. There is no trauma too big to heal, and with that healing, you can unlock a happier, more functional version of yourself.
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