“People think polyamory is a sex pool, but it’s not” — Hermes & others on what it means

Not everyone cheats. Some just choose to love more than one, openly, honestly, and without shame.

Hermes lives in a polyamorous relationship with two women in different parts of the world. One of them, Blessing, has been with him for three years and chooses not to date anyone else. The other is in Germany. All three are aware of each other. They’ve had conversations together, not just about love but about how to make it all work.

Tomisin tells me she sees people in polyamorous relationships and wonders how they manage it. She believes it takes a lot of time, effort, and emotional maturity.

Hermes’ girlfriend tells me there is no such thing as forever with one person, at least not in the way we have been taught to expect it. Edwin adds that, growing up, he saw many women with boyfriends and sugar daddies who knew their roles in each other’s lives.

And Hermes said something that stayed with me. He said, “Even the people that want monogamous relationships, how many of them are ready to take responsibility for that

In this conversation, we open the door into a kind of love that challenges everything we have been told — and asks us, quietly but boldly, to question what it really means to choose someone.

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