EP3 | Midlife Isn't a One Size Fits All

Send us a text

In this episode of the Women Are Not Okay podcast, Crystal explores the multifaceted challenges of midlife for women. She discusses feelings of overwhelm, isolation, and the need for genuine connection. Through shared experiences and collective struggles, she emphasizes the importance of community and support in navigating this complex life stage. The conversation highlights the journey of self-discovery and the empowerment that comes from acknowledging and expressing one's true feelings.

Keywords: midlife, women, connection, identity, empowerment, community, struggles, healing, support, purpose

💋 Women Are Not Okay Collective
Real talk. Midlife. Mental health. Relationships. Mindfulness.
Because we’re not fixing it all today — we’re just not pretending anymore.

✨ Follow & Connect:

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/womenarenotokay/
📬 Join the community: linktr.ee/womenarenotokay

📬 Questions or comments? Email Crystal at [e-mail]

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_01 (00:03):
Welcome to Women Are Not Okay, the self-help podcast
where we talk all things mentalhealth, relationships, and
mindfulness.
Can you admit that you're notokay?
Let's be real.
Things are shifting.
Our bodies, our identities, ourmentality, and our
relationships.

(00:23):
Girl, it's time for us toreclaim our sense of peace,
sanity, and well-being.
I'm Crystal, and no, I'm notokay.
See, that was easy.
Let's get into it.
Hi, this is Crystal.
Welcome to episode three of theWomen Are Not Okay podcast.

(00:47):
Today we're going to be talkingabout midlife and how it's not a
one-size-fits-all situation.
So a few months ago, deep in mymidlife feelings, I posted a
question in a Facebook group formidlife women.
If you could describe in oneword how you're feeling as a
midlife woman, what would it beand why?

(01:09):
I expected a few responses,maybe some validation.
What I didn't expect was 72comments and over 250 likes.
And every single one of thecomments, a word I could have
used myself.
At that moment, my word wasoverwhelmed.
And honestly, sometimes it stillis.

(01:30):
I try like hell to figure outwhy I constantly feel this way,
and a few things come to mind.
I'm working a job I'm gratefulfor, but I'm wishing I could do
more, or at least do it withoutthe drama, unrealistic
expectations, and did I mentiondrama?
Trying and failing to beeverything for everyone.

(01:52):
Struggling to find motivationfor literally anything.
Wanting to tap into mycreativity because, you know,
self-care and all that.
Figuring out money stress,bills, and adulting.
Wondering what the hell myactual purpose is.
And that's only half of it.
Damn, I'm overwhelmed justreading this shit.

(02:15):
But there's never enough hoursin the day to do what we want to
do.
And I'm tired of wasting so manyof them obsessing over this
chaos.
But reading those comments mademe realize something.
I'm not alone.
And yet I still feel alone.
Midlife has a way of isolatingus.

(02:37):
Not because we don't have peoplearound us, but because we don't
always feel safe telling thetruth to them.
It's easier to post anonymouslyon Facebook than to look a
friend in the eye and say, I'mnot okay.
It's easier to write a captionthan to admit to your partner
that you feel invisible.

(02:57):
It's easier to vent online thanto risk being misunderstood
offline.
Why?
Because we've been conditionedto perform wellness, to smile
through the chaos, to begrateful, graceful, and fine,
but fine is a lie.
And midlife women are tired oflying.

(03:18):
We want more than just surfacelevel check-ins and how are you
text?
Even though those are good.
We want connection, real, trueconnection.
We want a tribe that doesn'tflinch when we say, I forgot my
kid at the sitters, because thatdid happen to me when my
daughter was in sixth grade, andI still feel bad about it.

(03:41):
But you know, life happens.
Or I cried in the car today forno reason.
Or I don't know who I amanymore.
We want to be seen.
We want to be heard.
We want to be understood, notjust for what we do, but for who
we are.
We want friendships that feellike exhaling.

(04:03):
We want spaces where we can bemessy, moody, magical, and still
loved and not judged.
Midlife isn't a one-size-fit-allsituation.
Some of us are raising kids,some of us are still raising
adult kids, some of us aregrieving losses, some of us are
starting over.

(04:24):
Some of us are just trying tomake it through the damn day,
and all of us deserve support.
Because healing doesn't happenin isolation, it happens in
community, in sisterhood, in thequiet moments when someone says,
me too, and suddenly you don'tfeel so crazy.

(04:45):
So maybe the real work ofmidlife isn't just figuring out
our purpose or managing ourstress.
Maybe it's building the kind ofconnections that help carry the
load.
Maybe it's creating spaces likethis one where we can stop
pretending and start telling thetruth.
But of course, here's the thingabout midlife.

(05:07):
Nobody warns you that it'sbasically puberty with bills.
Everything's changing again.
Our bodies, our priorities, ourtolerance for BS, our caffeine
to sanity ratio.
We're shedding identities we'veworn for decades, the fixer, the
caretaker, the overachiever, andrealize half of them don't even

(05:29):
fit anymore.
Girl, it's confusing as hell.
But also, you know, kind offreeing.
Because maybe this version of usisn't falling apart.
Maybe she's just getting real.
And that's the beauty hiddeninside all the chaos, clarity.
Once the noise quiet down, evenfor a minute, we start to hear

(05:52):
ourselves again.
The whispers of what we actuallywant, what we're done
tolerating, and what kind ofpeace we're no longer willing to
negotiate.
As much as it seems, that's notselfish.
That's sacred.
That's growth wrapped inexhaustion and a touch of
sarcasm.

(06:13):
So the real question is, what dowe do about it?
How do we stop drowning in thismidlife mess?
What do we actually need to pushpast the negativity?
Maybe it starts with naming it,saying it out loud, refusing to
shrink our struggles into politesilence.
Because when 72 women echo yourmood, girl, it's not a personal

(06:37):
failure.
It's a collective cry.
And maybe that cry is thebeginning of something powerful:
a movement, a sisterhood, aspace where we can stop
pretending and start healing.
If you're like me, you'reprobably wondering what some of
these words were, right?
So I'm gonna list the words thatthese women used.

(06:58):
And here are a few that reallystruck a chord with me.

SPEAKER_00 (07:02):
Overwhelmed, empowered, angry, exhausted,
free, pained, stuck, invisible,underappreciated, bamboozled,
suicidal, aggravated, relieved,disappointed, frustrated, tired,

(07:34):
regretful, depressed, unheard,badass, happy, skeptical,
uncertain, hopeless, blessed,annoyed.

SPEAKER_01 (07:54):
And my very favorite, possessed.
Ooh, I can feel that one.
Do any of these words resonatewith you?
If so, let me know.
I want to hear your word and Iwant to know your why.
And if this episode made you nodand whisper, yeah, girl, same,
share it with somebody who needsto feel less alone.

(08:16):
Let's stop fitting into theboxes that were never made for
us and start building somethingthat actually fits.
And I'll leave you with this.
If I had to pick my one wordtoday, it's becoming.
Because even in this mess, evenin the overwhelm, even when it

(08:38):
doesn't make sense, I'm stillbecoming who I'm meant to be.
And so are you.
Until next time.
Thanks for listening.
Just so we're clear, I'm not alicensed medical health
professional.
I just pay really good ones whohelp me unpack all this chaos so
I can come here and share itwith you.

(09:00):
Think of this as a pay andforward kind of thing.
So until next time, protect yourpeace, set your boundaries, and
remember it's okay to not beokay.