May 1, 2025 • 43 mins
Still not convinced the Enneagram can help you run your business more effectively?
Then you need to hear this.In Part 2 of our live RV Queens Circles workshop with Enneagram enthusiast Taylor Smith (@refreshedwellnessontheroad), we go even deeper into what each type looks like in real life—especially under stress and at their best.
Plus, Taylor breaks down wings (what they are, how they work) and answers one of the most powerful questions of the night:
🧘♀️ “Okay… but once I notice I’m in stress, how do I get back to my healthy self?”
The real-time lightbulb moments in this episode—especially from one of our most skeptical members—are proof this tool is so much more than just a personality quiz.
What you’ll take away from Part 2:
🧭 How to spot when you’re in your stress number✨ What your health number actually means
🪽 Understanding wings—and why yours may shift over time
🛑 How to use the Enneagram as a “rumble strip,” not a box
💡 Real tools for getting back to a healthier, more aligned version of yourself
Whether you’ve already typed yourself or still feel like you don’t quite fit anywhere—this episode will give you clarity, encouragement, and practical tools to run your life and business with more awareness.
🔗 Connect with Taylor:
Instagram: @refreshedwellnessontheroadFollow along for tips on family travel, homeschooling, wellness, cold brew obsession, and all the beautiful chaos of RV life.
—
Mentioned in the episode:
- Book: The Road Back to You by Ian Cron
- Ted Talk: “Start With Why” by Simon Sinek
—
🎙️ Want to Start and Monetize your Podcast? Join our workshop on May 8 2025 to Launch your Podcast and Build Paid Brand Partnerships!
—
👑 Join the RV Queens Community – Get 20% off your membership for life with code PODCAST at rvqueenspodcast.com/community
—
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Don't use any gram the knowledgethat you've gained here and
whatever books you read as a shield or a sword.
This is really good. Shield would be like I'm hiding
behind the shield like I'm a seven.
I was just late because I was a 7.
That's what sevens do. And then sword would be like,
well, you're just a one like youjust always want to be right.
Just let me stab you with like you're a one welcome.
Back to the RV Queens Podcast where we're all about women
(00:22):
making money on the road. I'm your host Kate White, and
today we're jumping into Part 2 of our Enneagram workshop for RV
Queens Circles members led by RVQueens member Taylor Smith.
If you missed Part 1, go back and give it a listen.
It's packed with insights about all the numbers of the
Enneagram. Now in this episode, you'll hear
(00:45):
how an RV Queen Circle member named Nancy came into the
workshop feeling like none of the Enneagram types fit her.
She literally said I don't like being put in a box.
But by the end, she finds a number that clicks and it
changes everything. Now real quick before we dive
in, I want to tell you about something.
I'm super excited for on May 8thI'm Co hosting a live workshop
(01:10):
with business strategist Dora Rankin called Podcast and
Partnerships. In this workshop I will be
sharing the exact steps I took to build and monetize the RV
Queens podcast while travelling full time with my family over
the past two years. And then Dora will be teaching
how to use your voice and your values to land aligned brand
(01:31):
partnerships. If you've been thinking about
launching a podcast or you're wondering how to turn your
current podcast into something that actually grows your
business and your income, this workshop is for you.
Space is super limited, so head to
dorarankinconsulting.com/podcastand partnerships.
Don't worry, the link is in the show notes.
(01:53):
Head there to save your spot. All righty my friend.
I can't wait to see you there and I am so excited for you to
hear this episode and to uncoversecrets of the Enneagram.
Without further ado, grab your coffee and let's roll.
So I'm going to go through everybody.
(02:15):
I'm going to start with Penny since she's one, and we're going
to go back at your best. Penny, do you relate to the at
your best part, the ethical, reliable, productive, all that?
I relate to everything on this screen.
OK, Everything on the screen. Good.
That's good. All right, so we kind of skipped
through the second page for every number so we can dive into
(02:37):
it now. Now, like I said, everybody's
gonna have a similar fear, but Ithink the core desire and then
the longing is what changes. So like for instance, I'm not a
one, but I've lived as one for almost 2 decades.
And I really understand the desire of people wanting.
You want to have people know that you have integrity.
(02:59):
You want them to know that you're ethical.
You want them to know that you're good.
Your core longing is you are good.
So like, there's no worse jab that somebody could possibly say
to A1 to say you're wrong and you're bad.
There's some numbers that wouldn't say that wouldn't care
about that. They'd be like, whatever, OK,
moving on. But right, That's very like
(03:21):
right here, right? So Penny, I read this one time
about the ones and I hope that this resonates with you.
When you walk into a room like agathering of some sort, like the
like the convention you were at not too long ago, when you walk
into the room, do you constantlyfeel like there's like a ticker
tape in your brain that's just telling you everything wrong in
(03:42):
the situation? Like that chair probably should
have been stacked in the other way and the people that are on
the stage, I noticed one of the banners is a little higher than
the other and etcetera, etcetera, 100%.
So if you have a one in your life, including Penny, keep in
mind that they have an ongoing ticker tape in their brain.
(04:04):
Now, if you are not a one, you're not married to a one.
You don't think you know anyone's other than Penny, who
we love. Think about if you have a wing.
So if you're a nine, you might have A1 wing.
If you're a two, you might have A1 wing.
So you're leaning towards that. You're still going to feel a
little bit of that ticker tape in your brain of everything
that's possibly wrong. That's something really good to
(04:26):
think about with giving empathy to people that you know that are
ones or if you are A1, to give empathy to yourself because not
everyone realizes this. The ones have this ticker tape
and the ones think that everyoneelse has the ticker tape when
they don't. OK, All right, so for ones,
we're going to break down your health level and your here we
(04:51):
go. So one goes to four and one goes
to seven. So here's really what's
interesting as A7, I go to A1 when I'm stressed, but Penny as
a one goes to A7 when she's healthy.
So Penny, I can see you laughing.
So Penny, in your life when you've had like really healthy
(05:12):
seasons of life, have you been like, you know what,
spontaneous? Let's just take a trip.
I'm maybe thinking before you were a full full time RV life
because that's what you do everyday.
Or forget about the list. Let's just do it like when
you've been really healthy, doesthat resonate with you 100%?
Yeah. So that's you going to the
healthy side of seven, right? Because every number has a
(05:35):
positive and every number has a negative.
So let's look at the at their best.
So when you're super healthy, fun loving and super likable,
adventurous, upbeat, optimistic,what are you telling the jokes?
Joyful. Imagine Kate's video for the
second year anniversary that encompassed all the healthy
things about A7 back thirty seasons of life when you were,
(05:59):
isn't it? It's a great example.
OK, so now we're going to go back to your stress number.
So your stress number is 4. So we're going to look at the
not so mucho bueno side of four.You maybe have been more
withdrawn, more on the depressedside, Moody.
Now everybody gets Moody and depressed, maybe when they're
(06:19):
stressed, but it's more of you didn't feel like you belonged
anymore and you had all these big feelings that you didn't
know what to do with and you couldn't process them in your
stress, not all the time, but just in your stress.
So that's kind of breaking down your stress number and your
security number, but we're goingto go back.
(06:40):
Lastly, we're going to work on your wings.
So if you're 1, your wings are 9and 2, you might feel very
balanced, you might feel unbalanced.
Do you feel like you kind of know enough about 9:00 and 2:00
or should we go over that again?I lean heavily to two to the
two. OK, so 2, we'll go 2.
(07:00):
We don't have anybody who's a 2.So that's good because everybody
who needs to know a little bit about all these.
OK, so your two wing is probablymore of the I can see this
person struggling and I might just go help them, not
necessarily because the motivation of I want them to be
seen as good and right, like theone would do, just like you
(07:21):
genuinely want to help them, which also just kind of makes
you a good person, but it's moreof a compulsion of like, I
should help them. Like you just think about I
should help them. And so then, you know, generous,
supportive. You already are all these things
and I don't even know you that well.
So I could even say, like, I cansee you're too, you're too
winged, you know, like the cool working that you host that kind
of stuff, like just genuinely being supportive and hospitable
(07:46):
and all that. So from my husband also has a
lot of A2 wing. I think it's really important to
remember anybody who's a full 2 or has A2 wing that we all need
to be aware that you can, you can manipulate people that are
twos when you don't even realizeyou're doing it.
And my example is when I was in college, I had this friend,
(08:09):
which later on I found out was the two, but I just knew she was
very helpful. And if I needed a ride
somewhere, I always knew she wasthe one that was going to give
me a ride. And I have to make sure to
think, OK, I haven't asked her for a ride for a couple that
yeah, I think I can because I knew every time I asked her, she
would say yes. So that's the two that you need
to kind of be aware of. Same thing.
If you're a three and you have A2 wing, same thing.
(08:31):
Like you need to be aware of, are people asking me and I'm
just saying yes out of compulsion to help them, kind of
being aware of that and then notfeeling like you have much of
the 9, right? We're going to talk about 9 in a
little bit anyway. So should we go to, we'll do it,
go to Jen, we'll go to five next.
SO5 you've got 7 and then you'vegot 8.
(08:54):
So the number of the points awayfor five is the seven.
So we've talked about 7 a lot, but you're not looking at the
positive aspects of me, Kate andKim's personality type.
You're looking at the negative parts of our personality.
That's where A5 would go in stress.
So let's look at that more self focused, going inward, a little
bit vain, even kind of escapist.I'm not going to do this.
(09:17):
I'm going to procrastinate. I'm just going to like tweeze my
eyebrows instead of returning that e-mail.
I need to return like just kind of escaping the world.
Little superficial and can be not manic in a clinical clinical
depression kind of mania, but just kind of like too excited,
(09:38):
like too animated, like can't really control the mania, but
not like a clinical psychology and self-destructive.
So that would be where A5 would go when they're stressed.
Remember the seven number is thefive stress number, but the five
would go to 8, which is the goodparts of eight when they're
(09:58):
feeling really healthy. And a lot of times 8 get a bad
rap. I'll tell you, I know a lot of
women that are 8 and it took them a while to admit that they
were an 8 because they didn't want to be seen as a controlling
or domineering or bitchy or whatever.
You want to fill in the blank. But we're talking about eights
at their at their best right now, not worst.
So yes, that can be loud and excessive and controlling, but
(10:21):
we're looking at very compassionate people.
We'll sit down and talk to you about whatever your issues are
and they're extremely loyal. They will stick by your side no
matter what. You're very empowering and
encouraging to other people. Product protective kind of comes
along with that and very self confident.
So those are the the good parts of the eight.
(10:42):
OK, so that and then we'll look at the wings.
OK. So for a wing for A5, either A4
or A6, which is great because wehaven't passed really about four
or six. So we'll go through those.
So when you look at the five Gen., do you feel like the six
and the four a little bit that Iexplained?
Do any of those resonate or do you want me to just go?
(11:03):
Over them. The six is more like the
warrior, right? Yeah, Yeah, that.
I mean, that would probably be how I would lean when I'm
unhealthy. OK, well, I don't consider
myself to lean very far to the four, but perhaps.
OK, well I'll talk about four first and then we'll do 6
(11:24):
because 4 is often misunderstood.
So because like I said, it's like the artist emotional all of
that. But there's really good
qualities to those people too. Like you can think of why a self
tortured artist would act like you can think of book characters
and movie characters of that, like long black hair with a hood
and just like, you know, moping around.
(11:45):
But they're authentic people. Like they are extremely multi
passionate, which is oftentimes the seven is is moded as that
too, but very creative, very supportive.
You can come along somebody who's like kind of going through
some stuff, like you can walk alongside somebody who is
grieving a job or a loss or a person or really like a hard
(12:07):
time. Like you can be in the muck and
the mire with somebody, not a lot of numbers can do that.
So either somebody who's a primary 4 or has a four wing,
they can do that and they don't get pulled down by it too.
Like sevens. I'll just say hanging out with
A4 for an extended period of time for a 7 is very hard
because it's very hard for sevens to hang out in the muck
(12:28):
and the mire for very long. So that's a benefit if you do
have a little bit of A4 wing. So 6 is yes or more of a warrior
when I when I sum up the six because I have a dear friend who
is the 6. She got onto our friend's boat
one time. This is a beautiful boat.
The people that own the boat areprobably millionaires.
Like a nice boat, not like a little dinghy, She said as she
(12:51):
stepped her foot onto the boat. In her mind she was like, OK,
what if they forgot to plug the bottom of the boat?
And then water starts slowly coming in and we're already
halfway into the channel by the time we realize it happens.
And she's counting all of the life vest and realize there is
one life vest short. And all of this has happened to
her before her second foot has even stepped onto the boat.
(13:14):
So the way that I, that I described Sixes is they're not
having post traumatic stress syndrome, they're having free
traumatic stress syndrome. Nothing has happened, nothing is
wrong yet. Your foot is barely on the boat
and you can see all the things that could possibly go wrong.
So that is more practical, right?
It's not you don't let it torture you.
(13:35):
Obviously if it's torturing you then you're going to be
paranoid, but it's more of like practical.
Does that make sense? Do you have any questions about
the wings or the stressor healthnumbers?
No, that was great. Thank you.
OK. Yeah, you're welcome.
All right, so we're going to go to Sage, who is a three.
We know your primary number is 3, but we're going to go to your
(13:59):
health and your stress, so nine and six.
All right, so the negative part of 9 is what we're looking at
right now. You find that you're spaced out,
forgetful, stubborn, passive aggressive, Not aggressive
because nines don't rarely get aggressive, but passive
aggressive and judgmental, maybeinternally judgmental.
(14:21):
You're not like saying it to somebody, but you're thinking it
for sure. That would be like the negative
parts of nine. And then your health number is
your 6. So you're looking at the good
side of 6, not the the thing that's going to make them have
PTSD. It's the part where they're
really the most loyal, likable people.
(14:43):
Honestly, they think sevens are the most likable because they're
all outgoing and friendly all the time.
But like sixes are statisticallylike the most like in high
school. What was it like most not most
popular, but like one of those superlatives is usually A6 like
likable, super easy to talk to. Like you just trust them when
(15:04):
you talk to them. They're good listeners.
That would be when you're more healthy.
All right. And then we're going to look at
your wings are so two and four. What do you feel like your wings
balanced or unbalanced or both? Probably more so 4 just because
I don't feel like 2 resignates. Me at all.
Well, we'll look at the positives and the negatives of
(15:24):
four and two. I'm going to start with four
since you feel more that in yourcore.
All right, you can dip into the creative, maybe done that before
whatever your creative outlet is.
But I think the biggest difference was fours is you're
kind of more in tune. People that have a four wing or
or R fours are more in tune withtheir emotions.
(15:45):
Like they're they're settled with their emotions.
They're OK. They're not afraid to show their
emotions first of all, but like they understand them.
Introspective people are usuallymore in touch with their
emotions. So that kind of makes sense.
Now. I feel like these sentences down
here are also good to find your wing because seeks beautiful
experiences off the beaten path is more of like an RV related
(16:07):
thing. Tends to hang back socially, but
it's not to be AI. Just have a typo right there.
Tends to hang back socially for people to approach them.
So it's not like you're just a wallflower.
Like a lot of times some numberswould be a four and one
sometimes tend to be wallflowers.
It's not that you just want people to kind of approach you
instead of you kind of approaching them is what a four
(16:28):
would think. Then same thing with twos if you
look under these numbers. Great listeners, people are
comfortable sharing deep things with you, just sharing with you
in general. Host campground potlucks was
mentioned on two different numbers.
Sevens do that as well, but the motivation behind it is
different. Like the sevens who host the
(16:49):
campground potlucks is because we're just like what?
Have fun, have people over want to get to know you all.
Twos are more like, I really want to feed everybody and like
kind of be around everybody who's like doesn't have to make
a meal tonight. Like that's kind of different
motivation, same outcome, but they're not the greatest at
saying no. They overcome it themselves.
Definitely twos. So that those are your wings
(17:13):
And, and here's the thing, you always have the same primary
number. We'll talk about that at the
end. You always have your same wings,
but just like a bird, you might need to change course, right?
So even though you mean mostly to the fore, there might be
seasons of your life where you're like, oh, I'm going to
need to like kind of to myself alittle bit more in this respect.
And then you might come back to balance or you might just kind
(17:33):
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(17:55):
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So we're going to go to seven. So primary on the seven sevens
can get kind of a bad rap because especially if they're
(18:19):
with ones or if they're with twos because they're at their
best is very obvious. Like you guys probably would
have guessed because you know, everybody here knows Kate the
best of anyone, right? I mean, I know some of you know
each other in real life, but like, we all know Kate the best
of everyone. So you see Kate's face, you see
her fun videos, you can see her personality come out.
(18:41):
That's the at their best sevens,right?
The fun, likable, adventurous, goes out, creates a podcast,
creates a community, builds a business out of it, invites
everybody else to come. That is the obvious.
But the at their worst is the stuff that people don't realize
has to balance out the best, if that makes sense.
So unfortunately, I bring up Robin Williams again because we
(19:05):
all saw him at his best, but then we also know how he met his
end. And so you can look at the other
side of that and think if you have a 7 in your life or you are
A7, finding the balance and the health of knowing you don't have
to always be fun to be loved. You don't always have to be
upbeat. It's OK to not be the wittiest
(19:26):
one in the room. I'm going to go to the second
page for the 7th. So the core feel is just feeling
incomplete. Fours have a very similar
feeling, but it's different because we also, as equally as
wanting to feel complete, also don't want to be limited, don't
want to be put in a box and don't want to be bored.
Which is funny because you thinkit sounds like a child.
(19:47):
Like what? Like you're going to be bored.
That's what life's about. You're going to have limits,
you're going to have boundaries.We don't like to be in the muck
like I talked about earlier, we don't like to be in the mire for
too long. We have SOMO don't want to miss
out on things. The core desire is to be fully
satisfied. But I will speak personally.
For me, more of the word that always pops up in my brain and
(20:10):
my prayer journals in my therapysessions is contentment.
Content is a really big scene for sevens and our core weakness
is gluttony, but not necessarilyfood related.
It could be, definitely. I have a very close friend who
has struggled with her weight her entire life and she is a 7.
So her gluttony is food. But it doesn't have to be.
(20:32):
It can be. Reading books insatiably cannot
get through the next series fastenough and you're like emailing
the author asking when the next book is coming out.
I can't be bored, I have to readthe next book.
That could be an example of yourgluttony too.
We use those feelings because wewant to overcome any other
emptiness we're dealing with. Like if you're having FOMO or if
you wanted to go to that rally and you couldn't go or or
(20:53):
whatever. Never feel like they quite have
enough. The example that I got when I
saw Ian Kron speaking live, which is who I've referenced a
lot with these books and these quotes, is he said he his son is
A7. And he always imagines his adult
son carrying a metal bucket around his entire life.
And he goes to this thing and hefills his metal bucket up with
(21:14):
all the cool stuff. And then he wants all of this
cool stuff, but there's a hole at the metal on the bottom of
the metal bucket and it's alwaysleaking.
He never feels like it's full. He wants he wants it to be full
and he fills it up. And then he looks at life and
he's skipping around in the daisies and latte Tom.
And then he looks and he's like it's not full again.
Like that's very relatable for sevens.
(21:35):
Like we just want the bucket to be full all the time and it
can't be. And the core longing surprises
people when you read this one because the core longing for
other ones. Like for one, the core longing
is to be good and to be seen as being good.
Ours is. We just want to be taken care
of, which struck me when I firstread it because I thought I'm
super independent. I've been, I've never felt like
(21:58):
I needed that, but that hit me right there is why I thought I
was a different number for like 6 months.
That's one of the things that made me realize that I was a 7
because deep down, sevens reallyjust want to be taken care of,
but it feels vulnerable to admitthat that's really what their
core longing is. So 7 security number, we talked
about that. Our house number is 5.
(22:19):
So remember, we're looking at the at their best pile here, not
at their worst. So at their best, one we're
feeling very healthy is A7. We can be analytical, we can
persevere through things that are kind of like challenging and
we can have like objectives and we can check things off a list.
Like we're feeling like we're being when I wrote perceptive,
(22:40):
it means like we're aware of everything around us without
letting everything stress us out.
Like we're, we're aware of what's going on, but it's not
the constant ticker tape necessarily.
So you're curious about things and you might have a little more
solitude. I know I had a season of my life
where I was like, I think I'm just going to stay in my husband
was like, what I'm like, I'm good, but I'm not depressed.
(23:02):
I'm not sad about it. I'm just going to do that.
So that's like kind of the five,the the good part of the five.
But then if you go to our stressnumber, which is 1, I find it
interesting that I go to my husband's number when I'm
stressed, the bad side of my husband's number when I'm
stressed. So the at their worst ones,
(23:24):
we're not looking at the good part of the ones when I'm
stressed. When a 7 is in a stress season,
they become very black and white, very cynical, critical,
uptight, checking off the list, not in a good way, like like
sticking it to people about the list.
Like I told you, you were going to do that and you, you didn't
do it. And I'm very anxious that you
(23:45):
haven't done it yet. So the negative parts of the
one, the dogmatic for me was thebiggest thing because I'm not a
dogmatic person. Normally I'm very like, I'm not
a black or white. I'm not a either or whenever
those like cute little Instagramthings pop up and it's like, are
you a beach girl or a mountain girl?
I'm like both. Like are you like hot drinks or
cold drinks? Like both, Like I'm not very
(24:06):
black or white, but when I'm in a stress season and I'm I'm
bumping, bumping over those rumble strips, I am like there
is no Gray area. It is either right or wrong.
And I'm like, like put the brakes on and be like, oh wow,
we'll talk about how I do that later.
OK, that's a good suggestion. So we've talked about the seven
stress number and the health number.
(24:27):
So now we're going to go to the seven wings.
And so we've got on either side of us, the eight or the six.
You can, again, like I said, with the wings, like you might
be flying straight and you've got balanced wings and you use
both of those personality traitsand you lean on, and depending
upon what your season of life is, or I lean heavily on my 8.
I don't use the sixes often, butthere have been times that I
(24:48):
have felt like I've used that tool.
Like I pulled the 6th tool out of my tool belt because it's
there. Kate and Kim, do you feel like
what are your wings leaning towards?
Balanced or unbalanced? I tend towards 6 for sure.
Every once in a while I can pullthe 8 hat out if I have to, but
I it's not my natural state for sure.
(25:09):
We're going to look at the six first, which Caitlyn's more
towards. So the six are really good.
One of the things I wrote down on this bottom underneath the
number six is great with niche experiences.
Like sixes are usually very knowledgeable about like random
stuff and they love being knowledgeable about random
(25:30):
stuff. Like for instance, the Enneagram
or you know, yoga or mountain climbing or you know, like just
niche type stuff. They do always imagine and plan
for the worst. It's not just imagining, it's
planning for it. That's the healthy part of the
six. It's if you're just always
worried about the six or the about the thing that could
(25:51):
happen. It's different than planning.
So like I said, if you have multiple backup travel plans,
that might be a good way that you're leaning into your 6.
It's a very practical side of it.
And it's also very hard to find the right decision.
I think I have that, yeah, written at the bottom.
The right decision is almost impossible.
(26:11):
It's very hard to find the rightdecision.
So that's something that like ones don't really struggle with.
The ones are like this is the right decision.
This is what you should do. Like no problem.
Most of my friends don't have asmuch anxiety as I do is a
misnomer because they probably do.
But that's what 6's report. That's like the sentence when
when Ian Kron did a big hold long study on like sentences
(26:33):
that certain numbers would say. That's one of the sentences that
it said always has a travel backup plan, always imagining
and playing for the worst. Yeah.
So that's six. But the but the positive about
the six, which people don't talkabout the positive as much is
they're just super good friends.Like they will listen to you.
They will they'll take you, you know, all of your information.
(26:53):
It just stays between them. They're very trustworthy,
they're compassionate, like theymake really good friends, not
because they're just fun life ofthe party sevens.
It's because on the deeper level, like they really are
really good, compassionate, trustworthy people that will be
loyal to you no matter what you're going through.
OK, so then we'll go to the 8, which is the other side.
That's the challenger we talked about that might have been like
(27:16):
the attorney type, personality type you would think about, but
think about the positive sides of it, right?
Yes, they're self confident and yes, they have like an
empowering presence about them. Like they have no problem saying
no to a situation. Like they're usually the ones
that like in elementary school, you can't really type children,
which we'll talk about in just asecond.
But like the kids that are like,I want to read out loud, that's
(27:38):
me. I want to do it like oftentimes
that could be the 8:00 because the eight's like completely
comfortable talking in front of people.
Not usually wrong because they're usually very intelligent
as well, but they want to be an authority or they want to avoid
the person that is an authority.Does that make sense?
They either want to avoid the authority or make sure that they
are the authority. It is hard for them to trust
people. That is one kind of negative
(27:59):
part about 8. They don't do anything halfway.
They feel like justice is worth fighting for.
Which ones also believe that as well?
And then what did I see? They have been told.
I have been told that I'm too bold, blunt or aggressive.
Is the sentence that eights usually report too much?
Like I got too much, a lot, a lot of reports of too much.
(28:20):
I was a kid, so that's where I was leaning into the 8
motivational coaches, podcasters, they have their own
sub stack, that kind of thing, right?
So that's the, the, the wings for the 8.
It's really hard to judge your motivations and I don't know you
personally, but you can judge your motivation.
So when someone asks a question and the example I gave was you
(28:41):
work in an office and there's cubicles everywhere, it's like
that kind of corporate office that makes us all want to go,
like, no, I don't want to do that, but let's just pretend,
right? We're all working in this big
cubicle and somebody walks in the room and goes, hey, should
we show? We should we throw Cindy a
party? Her birthday's next week.
Kate works there. I work there and Penny works
there. And also, let me see, Sage is a
(29:03):
dream. We all work there.
Me and Kate were like, yes, we should throw her a party.
And then Penny's like, yeah, we should throw her a party.
And then Sage says, yeah, we should throw a party.
Well, we're all answering the question the same.
Like if we were taking a personality test, our answer is
yes, Should we throw a party? Yes, that's our answer.
All of our motivations are different.
And I'll just pretend like I know all of your motivations,
(29:23):
but here we go. Penny's motivation for throwing
a party is someone threw her a party when it was her birthday.
So it's only right and it's onlyfair that we also right.
Thank you for the thumbs up. It's only fair and right that we
would throw Cindy a party. So Penny said yes, but this was
her motivation for saying yes. Kate.
I said yes because Kate has a killer cupcake recipe she wanted
(29:47):
to make and I have a playlist that I want to play, right?
So that's the seventh thing. We just want to have fun.
But our motivation was a little different than Penny's
motivation. Same answer.
Sage also said yes. But Sage said yes, because she
knows that the next stair step in the sales ladder is Cindy.
(30:08):
And she really wants a buddy up to Cindy.
And she's not being manipulativeabout it.
She just genuinely thinks, you know what, it's it's time for
Cindy to get some attention. And Cindy will be working on my
team if she's on the next day onthe next letter.
And I really want her to be on the next ladder.
So I think, yeah, we should throw her a birthday party.
Like, it's totally different motivations for everybody, but
we all have the same answer. When you think about your number
(30:31):
and you think, well, it could beA7 or it could be A5, look at
the motivation for five. I think we're getting closer
thinking that you are probably A7 with balance wings.
But if you look at the visionary, which is the five, do
the core fear, desire, weakness or longing like relate to you?
Like fives have a fear of obligation, emptiness.
(30:52):
They never want to feel incompetent.
They never want to feel overwhelmed.
They know they're going to be depleted of their resources,
right? Like their social batteries
deplete faster. Fives have been said that sevens
wake up in the morning and have 100% battery charge for their
like emotional, conversational, social fives wake up at 50%.
(31:12):
So like they just don't have as much to begin with.
And their core desire is to be knowledgeable for people to come
seek wisdom from them that they want to be seen as being capable
and significant kind of important.
But their weaknesses, they really don't ever want to lack
the inner resources, which they do lack the inner resources to
(31:34):
have too much interaction. They don't want people to see
that they lack that interaction,if that makes sense.
And their core longing is that their needs are just not their,
their their your needs are not aproblem.
Like they want someone to say, hey, everything that you need,
it's not a problem. Like we can make that work.
That's like what they really want to hear from somebody as
opposed to the seven, which is key.
(31:57):
The seven core longing is I wantto be taken care of.
The sixes core longing is you are safe.
Everything around you is going to be OK.
So usually the core longings dependent upon those numbers are
kind of the deal Breakers for people trying to figure out
maybe, maybe now and it's still totally fine Nancy, if you're
like I would. Say all of the above.
(32:21):
The only thing that I really relate to is that I mean, I
usually wake I I need overnight or time away to really bring up
my battery again and I have a four hour battery charge.
OK. So I'm here about four hours.
I need to go back to my little RV and sit there for a little
(32:42):
while and just regenerate. So that is kind of what leads me
to the 5I. Definitely need my alone time.
Well, you need your social. Yeah, well I will also tell you
this that I'm A7 through and through.
I started going through adrenal fatigue about a year and a half
ago and I dipped from the healthy average and for about 7
months I was in the unhealthy and I had no, I had social
(33:05):
batteries, I did not have my normal social batteries.
And my husband picked up on it. We were just about to get out of
the bricks and sticks life and you'd already had the RV and I
could not wait. I craved not having so much on
my calendar and I had to take mykids to martial arts.
And so I drove up and I dropped them off and I looking at them
like, you know, pulled up right to the window and I'm watching
(33:25):
them and my husband called me. He's like, hey, how are they
doing? And I'm like, I'm not really
sure. What, did you not take them?
I said, oh, no, I took them. I brought them in and I like set
them all up and I'm, I'm outside, I'm reading my book
because I didn't want to talk tothe parents.
I didn't want to have any small talk with the parents.
And he was like, we got home that night and he was like, I
think we really need to get yourhormones checked because I
(33:47):
already told him a couple of times like I think I'm it's not,
I'm not feeling myself, blah, blah, blah.
I was 100% in this unhealthy range and I became an extrovert
and introverted extra and an extroverted introvert for like 7
months. And it was only when I started
to feel like, OK, I'm balancing everything out.
(34:08):
I feel like myself again that mysocial battery.
So I guess my question to you is, have you always felt like
your social batteries were aboutfour hours or is this like a
season for you? I'm in a position now where I'm
an empty nester. The only person I have to relate
to is myself, so I've really learned a lot about myself in
the past two years. I'm definitely an Amber vert
because I love people, but I love my own alone time and I
(34:31):
feel like I'm able to be myself more now than I have been ever
because I always had to be the extrovert.
I mean, in my job with my kids, I always had to go, go, go.
So now that I don't have to anymore, I feel like this is
where I'm settling in and this is healthy for me.
Wouldn't it make sense for if Nancy is A7 with strong balance
(34:56):
wings, wouldn't it make sense that she also relates to the
five because that's what sevens reach to in health?
Yes. So if you've been feeling, I
thought if you were feeling unhealthy then maybe we would go
that. But since you feel like, I feel
like you're probably in the average healthy range, it might
(35:17):
just be, it's hard to identify your number because you're still
healthy. It's harder with that number,
like with A7, it's harder. Like the example I gave Kate was
I have, you have a really good friend that's an 8 and she is an
8 through and through. Like I know her well.
We've researched it, all of that.
And when my husband found out she was an 8, his reaction was
(35:39):
she's an 8. Gosh, she's so nice, though.
We were like looking at each other and we're like, that's
because she's really healthy. Like you would never have
guessed, but man, when she needsto sit, put the foot down at
work, like she does it. She gets stuff done and she's
got no qualms about confrontation and saying no and
all that. But like she was just so healthy
(36:00):
that like, even though he knew her well, he didn't know.
So that could be it too. Nancy, like Kate said, right,
Kit, the nail on the head, like you could be just really in a
healthy situation and you are A7, but you go to your 5 because
you're like, I'm good. I figured it out like, so we'll
see. I mean, I would definitely say
read a little bit more about 5:00 and 7:00.
(36:23):
Yeah, I won't. Watch that Ted talk.
I did watch the podcast, but I do want to watch the Ted talk.
I didn't have a chance to do that yet, but I, I do feel that
I am in a position in my life right now where I am healthier
and stronger and more self aware.
I've ever been able to be because I always had so much
stuff coming in kids and husbands and people, you know,
(36:47):
And now I'm like, I, I can just not, yeah, you know, I've been
through everything, but it's just, and now I'm like, it's, I
feel very selfish sometimes. But yeah, now I feel like I can
just get to know me. I love that through the course
of tonight, Nancy went from not feeling like any of them to
feeling like she found a type that she relates with.
(37:08):
So yay. Thank you Taylor, Thank you so
much. I appreciate everyone being
here. I do want to do a prize giveaway
real quick. And then Taylor, after we do a
little giveaway, would you be able to leave us with the
inspiration where you were goingto teach us how to get back to
our healthy state when we're feeling stressed out?
(37:30):
Yes. OK, amazing.
OK, you guys, the prize tonight is actually not totally RV
Queens related. It is.
I will send the winner the Ian Cron book called The Road Back
to you. Yes, and here's the trivia
(37:53):
question that this is how you'regoing to win.
You can either unmute yourself and say it out loud, or you can
type it in the chat if you're able to the first person to
respond correctly. What is the name of the
Franciscan monk who brought the Enneagram over to the English
speaking world? We.
Need to go back to few slides. Please no Googling, no ChatGPT
(38:18):
ING. I can tell you where I can tell
you where it is, I just can't tell you what it is.
Nobody. Oh no, I didn't have a backup
question. And I can tell you it was 1990,
you remember? The Penny's Penny's closest.
Taylor, do you have a backup trivia question you can help us
out here with? What number?
(38:38):
I'll give you guys a clue by showing you all the numbers.
What number was Edward Scissorhand and Johnny Depp or
who said that? Oh.
Fancy. Good job.
But Jen had it in the chat too. Good job, students.
Good job everyone. There's the answer.
(39:00):
Congratulations Nancy, you figured out your Enneagram
numbers tonight and you're getting a bug.
Get the book to Jen because I figured out my enneagram.
So we're both. Winners, so generous of you.
Are you like in such a healthy state right now?
I can feel it. OK, so I don't want to make
(39:21):
anybody go super over, but I'm just going to fly through 4
slides because they're really important and I forgot about it
until just now. Come on, Hey, this is it.
This is super fast. Don't use any gram.
The knowledge that you've gainedhere and whatever books you read
as a shield or a sword. This is really good.
Shield would be like I'm hiding behind the shield like I'm a
seven. I was just late because I was a
7. That's what sevens do.
(39:43):
And then sword would be like, well, you're just a one like you
just always want to be right. Just let me stab you with like
you're a one. That's my example.
Not for you, Penny for my husband, but whatever.
Don't assume. This is what we talked about
earlier with Nancy. Like we don't want to assume we
know what people are because we already talked about like we
don't know what people's motivations are.
You're not supposed to type other people, including your
(40:06):
children, unless they're adults.If you have adult children, have
them take the test because you don't know what their motivation
is. Don't manipulate.
I talked about the Enneagram 2. Don't act.
Don't ask the Enneagram 2 to always be the one that helps you
do something. And then you guys, I could study
this for years and years and years.
There's triads and triptychs andall the things.
So it's an it's an onion. You can study this for a long
(40:28):
time. That's why I don't call myself
an Enneagram coach. I call myself an Enneagram
enthusiast because you could keep doing this for years.
So I'm not perfect at this, but in the years that I've been
researching it, I think the bestway to get yourself back to the
health side is to think about your nervous system.
Everyone's nervous system, everybody has a nervous system.
So whether yourself care is meditating or prayer, journaling
(40:53):
or just breathing, whenever you find that rumble strip and
you're like I am in a pattern. I am acting like my stress
number or someone else points itout to you.
If you have friends or family that are Enneagram aware, it is
so helpful because sometimes youdon't notice the rumble strips.
So calm your nervous system. The easiest that I do, which is
(41:15):
because I've taught yoga for a long time and I was a childbirth
coach as well. So breathing is big to me is
literally find yourself in a place hopefully semi quiet, put
earbuds in or sound cancelling if you need to and just breathe.
And I do box breathing which is like breathe in maybe 4 seconds
is a good number. Hold it for four seconds and
(41:37):
then let it out for four seconds.
If that doesn't calm your nervous system, first layer of
the calming. I mean, you need to work deeper
if you're in a deep rumble stripseason, just breathing, telling
your your nervous system that it's OK to relax, it's OK,
you're safe. And then look at your number and
read in a book or online or something that you screen
(41:59):
captured here and I can send youslides if you want.
Read about what your core desireis your court.
Like if you don't, if you remember, Oh, my core desire is
I just want to have contentment and I want to know I'm taking
care of, OK, I'm not crazy. That's what I think.
And I can screenshot anybody wants me to send them a slide.
(42:20):
I will for your number if you missed that.
So yeah, I'd say just take care of your your nervous system and
that'll help you to get back to your health.
What I heard you say was more. Yoga.
And if I'm at a campground near you, you'll come find me.
Yes, good stuff. OK.
Thank you so much, Taylor. I can't thank you enough for
(42:41):
sharing your time with us and your wisdom.
Thank you all for being here. Have a great night everyone.
We'll see you soon. Thank you so much for tuning
into today's episode and for being part of the RV Queens
community. Remember to hit subscribe on
whatever platform you're listening on.
And guess what? You can have conversations like
(43:02):
I had on this episode with your fellow RV women who are living
intentionally and making money on the road.
Head to rvqueenspodcast.com/community to
join RV Queen circles today. It's a totally unique online
space with a shared prosperity model that's all about community
over competition. I'd love to have you be a part.
(43:24):
All right, guys, I'll see you next week or hopefully I will
see you on the road. Such a healthy state right now,
I can feel it.
Don't use any gram the knowledgethat you've gained here and
whatever books you read as a shield or a sword.
This is really good. Shield would be like I'm hiding
behind the shield like I'm a seven.
I was just late because I was a 7.
That's what sevens do. And then sword would be like,
well, you're just a one like youjust always want to be right.
Just let me stab you with like you're a one welcome.
Back to the RV Queens Podcast where we're all about women
(00:22):
making money on the road. I'm your host Kate White, and
today we're jumping into Part 2 of our Enneagram workshop for RV
Queens Circles members led by RVQueens member Taylor Smith.
If you missed Part 1, go back and give it a listen.
It's packed with insights about all the numbers of the
Enneagram. Now in this episode, you'll hear
(00:45):
how an RV Queen Circle member named Nancy came into the
workshop feeling like none of the Enneagram types fit her.
She literally said I don't like being put in a box.
But by the end, she finds a number that clicks and it
changes everything. Now real quick before we dive
in, I want to tell you about something.
I'm super excited for on May 8thI'm Co hosting a live workshop
(01:10):
with business strategist Dora Rankin called Podcast and
Partnerships. In this workshop I will be
sharing the exact steps I took to build and monetize the RV
Queens podcast while travelling full time with my family over
the past two years. And then Dora will be teaching
how to use your voice and your values to land aligned brand
(01:31):
partnerships. If you've been thinking about
launching a podcast or you're wondering how to turn your
current podcast into something that actually grows your
business and your income, this workshop is for you.
Space is super limited, so head to
dorarankinconsulting.com/podcastand partnerships.
Don't worry, the link is in the show notes.
(01:53):
Head there to save your spot. All righty my friend.
I can't wait to see you there and I am so excited for you to
hear this episode and to uncoversecrets of the Enneagram.
Without further ado, grab your coffee and let's roll.
So I'm going to go through everybody.
(02:15):
I'm going to start with Penny since she's one, and we're going
to go back at your best. Penny, do you relate to the at
your best part, the ethical, reliable, productive, all that?
I relate to everything on this screen.
OK, Everything on the screen. Good.
That's good. All right, so we kind of skipped
through the second page for every number so we can dive into
(02:37):
it now. Now, like I said, everybody's
gonna have a similar fear, but Ithink the core desire and then
the longing is what changes. So like for instance, I'm not a
one, but I've lived as one for almost 2 decades.
And I really understand the desire of people wanting.
You want to have people know that you have integrity.
(02:59):
You want them to know that you're ethical.
You want them to know that you're good.
Your core longing is you are good.
So like, there's no worse jab that somebody could possibly say
to A1 to say you're wrong and you're bad.
There's some numbers that wouldn't say that wouldn't care
about that. They'd be like, whatever, OK,
moving on. But right, That's very like
(03:21):
right here, right? So Penny, I read this one time
about the ones and I hope that this resonates with you.
When you walk into a room like agathering of some sort, like the
like the convention you were at not too long ago, when you walk
into the room, do you constantlyfeel like there's like a ticker
tape in your brain that's just telling you everything wrong in
(03:42):
the situation? Like that chair probably should
have been stacked in the other way and the people that are on
the stage, I noticed one of the banners is a little higher than
the other and etcetera, etcetera, 100%.
So if you have a one in your life, including Penny, keep in
mind that they have an ongoing ticker tape in their brain.
(04:04):
Now, if you are not a one, you're not married to a one.
You don't think you know anyone's other than Penny, who
we love. Think about if you have a wing.
So if you're a nine, you might have A1 wing.
If you're a two, you might have A1 wing.
So you're leaning towards that. You're still going to feel a
little bit of that ticker tape in your brain of everything
that's possibly wrong. That's something really good to
(04:26):
think about with giving empathy to people that you know that are
ones or if you are A1, to give empathy to yourself because not
everyone realizes this. The ones have this ticker tape
and the ones think that everyoneelse has the ticker tape when
they don't. OK, All right, so for ones,
we're going to break down your health level and your here we
(04:51):
go. So one goes to four and one goes
to seven. So here's really what's
interesting as A7, I go to A1 when I'm stressed, but Penny as
a one goes to A7 when she's healthy.
So Penny, I can see you laughing.
So Penny, in your life when you've had like really healthy
(05:12):
seasons of life, have you been like, you know what,
spontaneous? Let's just take a trip.
I'm maybe thinking before you were a full full time RV life
because that's what you do everyday.
Or forget about the list. Let's just do it like when
you've been really healthy, doesthat resonate with you 100%?
Yeah. So that's you going to the
healthy side of seven, right? Because every number has a
(05:35):
positive and every number has a negative.
So let's look at the at their best.
So when you're super healthy, fun loving and super likable,
adventurous, upbeat, optimistic,what are you telling the jokes?
Joyful. Imagine Kate's video for the
second year anniversary that encompassed all the healthy
things about A7 back thirty seasons of life when you were,
(05:59):
isn't it? It's a great example.
OK, so now we're going to go back to your stress number.
So your stress number is 4. So we're going to look at the
not so mucho bueno side of four.You maybe have been more
withdrawn, more on the depressedside, Moody.
Now everybody gets Moody and depressed, maybe when they're
(06:19):
stressed, but it's more of you didn't feel like you belonged
anymore and you had all these big feelings that you didn't
know what to do with and you couldn't process them in your
stress, not all the time, but just in your stress.
So that's kind of breaking down your stress number and your
security number, but we're goingto go back.
(06:40):
Lastly, we're going to work on your wings.
So if you're 1, your wings are 9and 2, you might feel very
balanced, you might feel unbalanced.
Do you feel like you kind of know enough about 9:00 and 2:00
or should we go over that again?I lean heavily to two to the
two. OK, so 2, we'll go 2.
(07:00):
We don't have anybody who's a 2.So that's good because everybody
who needs to know a little bit about all these.
OK, so your two wing is probablymore of the I can see this
person struggling and I might just go help them, not
necessarily because the motivation of I want them to be
seen as good and right, like theone would do, just like you
(07:21):
genuinely want to help them, which also just kind of makes
you a good person, but it's moreof a compulsion of like, I
should help them. Like you just think about I
should help them. And so then, you know, generous,
supportive. You already are all these things
and I don't even know you that well.
So I could even say, like, I cansee you're too, you're too
winged, you know, like the cool working that you host that kind
of stuff, like just genuinely being supportive and hospitable
(07:46):
and all that. So from my husband also has a
lot of A2 wing. I think it's really important to
remember anybody who's a full 2 or has A2 wing that we all need
to be aware that you can, you can manipulate people that are
twos when you don't even realizeyou're doing it.
And my example is when I was in college, I had this friend,
(08:09):
which later on I found out was the two, but I just knew she was
very helpful. And if I needed a ride
somewhere, I always knew she wasthe one that was going to give
me a ride. And I have to make sure to
think, OK, I haven't asked her for a ride for a couple that
yeah, I think I can because I knew every time I asked her, she
would say yes. So that's the two that you need
to kind of be aware of. Same thing.
If you're a three and you have A2 wing, same thing.
(08:31):
Like you need to be aware of, are people asking me and I'm
just saying yes out of compulsion to help them, kind of
being aware of that and then notfeeling like you have much of
the 9, right? We're going to talk about 9 in a
little bit anyway. So should we go to, we'll do it,
go to Jen, we'll go to five next.
SO5 you've got 7 and then you'vegot 8.
(08:54):
So the number of the points awayfor five is the seven.
So we've talked about 7 a lot, but you're not looking at the
positive aspects of me, Kate andKim's personality type.
You're looking at the negative parts of our personality.
That's where A5 would go in stress.
So let's look at that more self focused, going inward, a little
bit vain, even kind of escapist.I'm not going to do this.
(09:17):
I'm going to procrastinate. I'm just going to like tweeze my
eyebrows instead of returning that e-mail.
I need to return like just kind of escaping the world.
Little superficial and can be not manic in a clinical clinical
depression kind of mania, but just kind of like too excited,
(09:38):
like too animated, like can't really control the mania, but
not like a clinical psychology and self-destructive.
So that would be where A5 would go when they're stressed.
Remember the seven number is thefive stress number, but the five
would go to 8, which is the goodparts of eight when they're
(09:58):
feeling really healthy. And a lot of times 8 get a bad
rap. I'll tell you, I know a lot of
women that are 8 and it took them a while to admit that they
were an 8 because they didn't want to be seen as a controlling
or domineering or bitchy or whatever.
You want to fill in the blank. But we're talking about eights
at their at their best right now, not worst.
So yes, that can be loud and excessive and controlling, but
(10:21):
we're looking at very compassionate people.
We'll sit down and talk to you about whatever your issues are
and they're extremely loyal. They will stick by your side no
matter what. You're very empowering and
encouraging to other people. Product protective kind of comes
along with that and very self confident.
So those are the the good parts of the eight.
(10:42):
OK, so that and then we'll look at the wings.
OK. So for a wing for A5, either A4
or A6, which is great because wehaven't passed really about four
or six. So we'll go through those.
So when you look at the five Gen., do you feel like the six
and the four a little bit that Iexplained?
Do any of those resonate or do you want me to just go?
(11:03):
Over them. The six is more like the
warrior, right? Yeah, Yeah, that.
I mean, that would probably be how I would lean when I'm
unhealthy. OK, well, I don't consider
myself to lean very far to the four, but perhaps.
OK, well I'll talk about four first and then we'll do 6
(11:24):
because 4 is often misunderstood.
So because like I said, it's like the artist emotional all of
that. But there's really good
qualities to those people too. Like you can think of why a self
tortured artist would act like you can think of book characters
and movie characters of that, like long black hair with a hood
and just like, you know, moping around.
(11:45):
But they're authentic people. Like they are extremely multi
passionate, which is oftentimes the seven is is moded as that
too, but very creative, very supportive.
You can come along somebody who's like kind of going through
some stuff, like you can walk alongside somebody who is
grieving a job or a loss or a person or really like a hard
(12:07):
time. Like you can be in the muck and
the mire with somebody, not a lot of numbers can do that.
So either somebody who's a primary 4 or has a four wing,
they can do that and they don't get pulled down by it too.
Like sevens. I'll just say hanging out with
A4 for an extended period of time for a 7 is very hard
because it's very hard for sevens to hang out in the muck
(12:28):
and the mire for very long. So that's a benefit if you do
have a little bit of A4 wing. So 6 is yes or more of a warrior
when I when I sum up the six because I have a dear friend who
is the 6. She got onto our friend's boat
one time. This is a beautiful boat.
The people that own the boat areprobably millionaires.
Like a nice boat, not like a little dinghy, She said as she
(12:51):
stepped her foot onto the boat. In her mind she was like, OK,
what if they forgot to plug the bottom of the boat?
And then water starts slowly coming in and we're already
halfway into the channel by the time we realize it happens.
And she's counting all of the life vest and realize there is
one life vest short. And all of this has happened to
her before her second foot has even stepped onto the boat.
(13:14):
So the way that I, that I described Sixes is they're not
having post traumatic stress syndrome, they're having free
traumatic stress syndrome. Nothing has happened, nothing is
wrong yet. Your foot is barely on the boat
and you can see all the things that could possibly go wrong.
So that is more practical, right?
It's not you don't let it torture you.
(13:35):
Obviously if it's torturing you then you're going to be
paranoid, but it's more of like practical.
Does that make sense? Do you have any questions about
the wings or the stressor healthnumbers?
No, that was great. Thank you.
OK. Yeah, you're welcome.
All right, so we're going to go to Sage, who is a three.
We know your primary number is 3, but we're going to go to your
(13:59):
health and your stress, so nine and six.
All right, so the negative part of 9 is what we're looking at
right now. You find that you're spaced out,
forgetful, stubborn, passive aggressive, Not aggressive
because nines don't rarely get aggressive, but passive
aggressive and judgmental, maybeinternally judgmental.
(14:21):
You're not like saying it to somebody, but you're thinking it
for sure. That would be like the negative
parts of nine. And then your health number is
your 6. So you're looking at the good
side of 6, not the the thing that's going to make them have
PTSD. It's the part where they're
really the most loyal, likable people.
(14:43):
Honestly, they think sevens are the most likable because they're
all outgoing and friendly all the time.
But like sixes are statisticallylike the most like in high
school. What was it like most not most
popular, but like one of those superlatives is usually A6 like
likable, super easy to talk to. Like you just trust them when
(15:04):
you talk to them. They're good listeners.
That would be when you're more healthy.
All right. And then we're going to look at
your wings are so two and four. What do you feel like your wings
balanced or unbalanced or both? Probably more so 4 just because
I don't feel like 2 resignates. Me at all.
Well, we'll look at the positives and the negatives of
(15:24):
four and two. I'm going to start with four
since you feel more that in yourcore.
All right, you can dip into the creative, maybe done that before
whatever your creative outlet is.
But I think the biggest difference was fours is you're
kind of more in tune. People that have a four wing or
or R fours are more in tune withtheir emotions.
(15:45):
Like they're they're settled with their emotions.
They're OK. They're not afraid to show their
emotions first of all, but like they understand them.
Introspective people are usuallymore in touch with their
emotions. So that kind of makes sense.
Now. I feel like these sentences down
here are also good to find your wing because seeks beautiful
experiences off the beaten path is more of like an RV related
(16:07):
thing. Tends to hang back socially, but
it's not to be AI. Just have a typo right there.
Tends to hang back socially for people to approach them.
So it's not like you're just a wallflower.
Like a lot of times some numberswould be a four and one
sometimes tend to be wallflowers.
It's not that you just want people to kind of approach you
instead of you kind of approaching them is what a four
(16:28):
would think. Then same thing with twos if you
look under these numbers. Great listeners, people are
comfortable sharing deep things with you, just sharing with you
in general. Host campground potlucks was
mentioned on two different numbers.
Sevens do that as well, but the motivation behind it is
different. Like the sevens who host the
(16:49):
campground potlucks is because we're just like what?
Have fun, have people over want to get to know you all.
Twos are more like, I really want to feed everybody and like
kind of be around everybody who's like doesn't have to make
a meal tonight. Like that's kind of different
motivation, same outcome, but they're not the greatest at
saying no. They overcome it themselves.
Definitely twos. So that those are your wings
(17:13):
And, and here's the thing, you always have the same primary
number. We'll talk about that at the
end. You always have your same wings,
but just like a bird, you might need to change course, right?
So even though you mean mostly to the fore, there might be
seasons of your life where you're like, oh, I'm going to
need to like kind of to myself alittle bit more in this respect.
And then you might come back to balance or you might just kind
(17:33):
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So we're going to go to seven. So primary on the seven sevens
can get kind of a bad rap because especially if they're
(18:19):
with ones or if they're with twos because they're at their
best is very obvious. Like you guys probably would
have guessed because you know, everybody here knows Kate the
best of anyone, right? I mean, I know some of you know
each other in real life, but like, we all know Kate the best
of everyone. So you see Kate's face, you see
her fun videos, you can see her personality come out.
(18:41):
That's the at their best sevens,right?
The fun, likable, adventurous, goes out, creates a podcast,
creates a community, builds a business out of it, invites
everybody else to come. That is the obvious.
But the at their worst is the stuff that people don't realize
has to balance out the best, if that makes sense.
So unfortunately, I bring up Robin Williams again because we
(19:05):
all saw him at his best, but then we also know how he met his
end. And so you can look at the other
side of that and think if you have a 7 in your life or you are
A7, finding the balance and the health of knowing you don't have
to always be fun to be loved. You don't always have to be
upbeat. It's OK to not be the wittiest
(19:26):
one in the room. I'm going to go to the second
page for the 7th. So the core feel is just feeling
incomplete. Fours have a very similar
feeling, but it's different because we also, as equally as
wanting to feel complete, also don't want to be limited, don't
want to be put in a box and don't want to be bored.
Which is funny because you thinkit sounds like a child.
(19:47):
Like what? Like you're going to be bored.
That's what life's about. You're going to have limits,
you're going to have boundaries.We don't like to be in the muck
like I talked about earlier, we don't like to be in the mire for
too long. We have SOMO don't want to miss
out on things. The core desire is to be fully
satisfied. But I will speak personally.
For me, more of the word that always pops up in my brain and
(20:10):
my prayer journals in my therapysessions is contentment.
Content is a really big scene for sevens and our core weakness
is gluttony, but not necessarilyfood related.
It could be, definitely. I have a very close friend who
has struggled with her weight her entire life and she is a 7.
So her gluttony is food. But it doesn't have to be.
(20:32):
It can be. Reading books insatiably cannot
get through the next series fastenough and you're like emailing
the author asking when the next book is coming out.
I can't be bored, I have to readthe next book.
That could be an example of yourgluttony too.
We use those feelings because wewant to overcome any other
emptiness we're dealing with. Like if you're having FOMO or if
you wanted to go to that rally and you couldn't go or or
(20:53):
whatever. Never feel like they quite have
enough. The example that I got when I
saw Ian Kron speaking live, which is who I've referenced a
lot with these books and these quotes, is he said he his son is
A7. And he always imagines his adult
son carrying a metal bucket around his entire life.
And he goes to this thing and hefills his metal bucket up with
(21:14):
all the cool stuff. And then he wants all of this
cool stuff, but there's a hole at the metal on the bottom of
the metal bucket and it's alwaysleaking.
He never feels like it's full. He wants he wants it to be full
and he fills it up. And then he looks at life and
he's skipping around in the daisies and latte Tom.
And then he looks and he's like it's not full again.
Like that's very relatable for sevens.
(21:35):
Like we just want the bucket to be full all the time and it
can't be. And the core longing surprises
people when you read this one because the core longing for
other ones. Like for one, the core longing
is to be good and to be seen as being good.
Ours is. We just want to be taken care
of, which struck me when I firstread it because I thought I'm
super independent. I've been, I've never felt like
(21:58):
I needed that, but that hit me right there is why I thought I
was a different number for like 6 months.
That's one of the things that made me realize that I was a 7
because deep down, sevens reallyjust want to be taken care of,
but it feels vulnerable to admitthat that's really what their
core longing is. So 7 security number, we talked
about that. Our house number is 5.
(22:19):
So remember, we're looking at the at their best pile here, not
at their worst. So at their best, one we're
feeling very healthy is A7. We can be analytical, we can
persevere through things that are kind of like challenging and
we can have like objectives and we can check things off a list.
Like we're feeling like we're being when I wrote perceptive,
(22:40):
it means like we're aware of everything around us without
letting everything stress us out.
Like we're, we're aware of what's going on, but it's not
the constant ticker tape necessarily.
So you're curious about things and you might have a little more
solitude. I know I had a season of my life
where I was like, I think I'm just going to stay in my husband
was like, what I'm like, I'm good, but I'm not depressed.
(23:02):
I'm not sad about it. I'm just going to do that.
So that's like kind of the five,the the good part of the five.
But then if you go to our stressnumber, which is 1, I find it
interesting that I go to my husband's number when I'm
stressed, the bad side of my husband's number when I'm
stressed. So the at their worst ones,
(23:24):
we're not looking at the good part of the ones when I'm
stressed. When a 7 is in a stress season,
they become very black and white, very cynical, critical,
uptight, checking off the list, not in a good way, like like
sticking it to people about the list.
Like I told you, you were going to do that and you, you didn't
do it. And I'm very anxious that you
(23:45):
haven't done it yet. So the negative parts of the
one, the dogmatic for me was thebiggest thing because I'm not a
dogmatic person. Normally I'm very like, I'm not
a black or white. I'm not a either or whenever
those like cute little Instagramthings pop up and it's like, are
you a beach girl or a mountain girl?
I'm like both. Like are you like hot drinks or
cold drinks? Like both, Like I'm not very
(24:06):
black or white, but when I'm in a stress season and I'm I'm
bumping, bumping over those rumble strips, I am like there
is no Gray area. It is either right or wrong.
And I'm like, like put the brakes on and be like, oh wow,
we'll talk about how I do that later.
OK, that's a good suggestion. So we've talked about the seven
stress number and the health number.
(24:27):
So now we're going to go to the seven wings.
And so we've got on either side of us, the eight or the six.
You can, again, like I said, with the wings, like you might
be flying straight and you've got balanced wings and you use
both of those personality traitsand you lean on, and depending
upon what your season of life is, or I lean heavily on my 8.
I don't use the sixes often, butthere have been times that I
(24:48):
have felt like I've used that tool.
Like I pulled the 6th tool out of my tool belt because it's
there. Kate and Kim, do you feel like
what are your wings leaning towards?
Balanced or unbalanced? I tend towards 6 for sure.
Every once in a while I can pullthe 8 hat out if I have to, but
I it's not my natural state for sure.
(25:09):
We're going to look at the six first, which Caitlyn's more
towards. So the six are really good.
One of the things I wrote down on this bottom underneath the
number six is great with niche experiences.
Like sixes are usually very knowledgeable about like random
stuff and they love being knowledgeable about random
(25:30):
stuff. Like for instance, the Enneagram
or you know, yoga or mountain climbing or you know, like just
niche type stuff. They do always imagine and plan
for the worst. It's not just imagining, it's
planning for it. That's the healthy part of the
six. It's if you're just always
worried about the six or the about the thing that could
(25:51):
happen. It's different than planning.
So like I said, if you have multiple backup travel plans,
that might be a good way that you're leaning into your 6.
It's a very practical side of it.
And it's also very hard to find the right decision.
I think I have that, yeah, written at the bottom.
The right decision is almost impossible.
(26:11):
It's very hard to find the rightdecision.
So that's something that like ones don't really struggle with.
The ones are like this is the right decision.
This is what you should do. Like no problem.
Most of my friends don't have asmuch anxiety as I do is a
misnomer because they probably do.
But that's what 6's report. That's like the sentence when
when Ian Kron did a big hold long study on like sentences
(26:33):
that certain numbers would say. That's one of the sentences that
it said always has a travel backup plan, always imagining
and playing for the worst. Yeah.
So that's six. But the but the positive about
the six, which people don't talkabout the positive as much is
they're just super good friends.Like they will listen to you.
They will they'll take you, you know, all of your information.
(26:53):
It just stays between them. They're very trustworthy,
they're compassionate, like theymake really good friends, not
because they're just fun life ofthe party sevens.
It's because on the deeper level, like they really are
really good, compassionate, trustworthy people that will be
loyal to you no matter what you're going through.
OK, so then we'll go to the 8, which is the other side.
That's the challenger we talked about that might have been like
(27:16):
the attorney type, personality type you would think about, but
think about the positive sides of it, right?
Yes, they're self confident and yes, they have like an
empowering presence about them. Like they have no problem saying
no to a situation. Like they're usually the ones
that like in elementary school, you can't really type children,
which we'll talk about in just asecond.
But like the kids that are like,I want to read out loud, that's
(27:38):
me. I want to do it like oftentimes
that could be the 8:00 because the eight's like completely
comfortable talking in front of people.
Not usually wrong because they're usually very intelligent
as well, but they want to be an authority or they want to avoid
the person that is an authority.Does that make sense?
They either want to avoid the authority or make sure that they
are the authority. It is hard for them to trust
people. That is one kind of negative
(27:59):
part about 8. They don't do anything halfway.
They feel like justice is worth fighting for.
Which ones also believe that as well?
And then what did I see? They have been told.
I have been told that I'm too bold, blunt or aggressive.
Is the sentence that eights usually report too much?
Like I got too much, a lot, a lot of reports of too much.
(28:20):
I was a kid, so that's where I was leaning into the 8
motivational coaches, podcasters, they have their own
sub stack, that kind of thing, right?
So that's the, the, the wings for the 8.
It's really hard to judge your motivations and I don't know you
personally, but you can judge your motivation.
So when someone asks a question and the example I gave was you
(28:41):
work in an office and there's cubicles everywhere, it's like
that kind of corporate office that makes us all want to go,
like, no, I don't want to do that, but let's just pretend,
right? We're all working in this big
cubicle and somebody walks in the room and goes, hey, should
we show? We should we throw Cindy a
party? Her birthday's next week.
Kate works there. I work there and Penny works
there. And also, let me see, Sage is a
(29:03):
dream. We all work there.
Me and Kate were like, yes, we should throw her a party.
And then Penny's like, yeah, we should throw her a party.
And then Sage says, yeah, we should throw a party.
Well, we're all answering the question the same.
Like if we were taking a personality test, our answer is
yes, Should we throw a party? Yes, that's our answer.
All of our motivations are different.
And I'll just pretend like I know all of your motivations,
(29:23):
but here we go. Penny's motivation for throwing
a party is someone threw her a party when it was her birthday.
So it's only right and it's onlyfair that we also right.
Thank you for the thumbs up. It's only fair and right that we
would throw Cindy a party. So Penny said yes, but this was
her motivation for saying yes. Kate.
I said yes because Kate has a killer cupcake recipe she wanted
(29:47):
to make and I have a playlist that I want to play, right?
So that's the seventh thing. We just want to have fun.
But our motivation was a little different than Penny's
motivation. Same answer.
Sage also said yes. But Sage said yes, because she
knows that the next stair step in the sales ladder is Cindy.
(30:08):
And she really wants a buddy up to Cindy.
And she's not being manipulativeabout it.
She just genuinely thinks, you know what, it's it's time for
Cindy to get some attention. And Cindy will be working on my
team if she's on the next day onthe next letter.
And I really want her to be on the next ladder.
So I think, yeah, we should throw her a birthday party.
Like, it's totally different motivations for everybody, but
we all have the same answer. When you think about your number
(30:31):
and you think, well, it could beA7 or it could be A5, look at
the motivation for five. I think we're getting closer
thinking that you are probably A7 with balance wings.
But if you look at the visionary, which is the five, do
the core fear, desire, weakness or longing like relate to you?
Like fives have a fear of obligation, emptiness.
(30:52):
They never want to feel incompetent.
They never want to feel overwhelmed.
They know they're going to be depleted of their resources,
right? Like their social batteries
deplete faster. Fives have been said that sevens
wake up in the morning and have 100% battery charge for their
like emotional, conversational, social fives wake up at 50%.
(31:12):
So like they just don't have as much to begin with.
And their core desire is to be knowledgeable for people to come
seek wisdom from them that they want to be seen as being capable
and significant kind of important.
But their weaknesses, they really don't ever want to lack
the inner resources, which they do lack the inner resources to
(31:34):
have too much interaction. They don't want people to see
that they lack that interaction,if that makes sense.
And their core longing is that their needs are just not their,
their their your needs are not aproblem.
Like they want someone to say, hey, everything that you need,
it's not a problem. Like we can make that work.
That's like what they really want to hear from somebody as
opposed to the seven, which is key.
(31:57):
The seven core longing is I wantto be taken care of.
The sixes core longing is you are safe.
Everything around you is going to be OK.
So usually the core longings dependent upon those numbers are
kind of the deal Breakers for people trying to figure out
maybe, maybe now and it's still totally fine Nancy, if you're
like I would. Say all of the above.
(32:21):
The only thing that I really relate to is that I mean, I
usually wake I I need overnight or time away to really bring up
my battery again and I have a four hour battery charge.
OK. So I'm here about four hours.
I need to go back to my little RV and sit there for a little
(32:42):
while and just regenerate. So that is kind of what leads me
to the 5I. Definitely need my alone time.
Well, you need your social. Yeah, well I will also tell you
this that I'm A7 through and through.
I started going through adrenal fatigue about a year and a half
ago and I dipped from the healthy average and for about 7
months I was in the unhealthy and I had no, I had social
(33:05):
batteries, I did not have my normal social batteries.
And my husband picked up on it. We were just about to get out of
the bricks and sticks life and you'd already had the RV and I
could not wait. I craved not having so much on
my calendar and I had to take mykids to martial arts.
And so I drove up and I dropped them off and I looking at them
like, you know, pulled up right to the window and I'm watching
(33:25):
them and my husband called me. He's like, hey, how are they
doing? And I'm like, I'm not really
sure. What, did you not take them?
I said, oh, no, I took them. I brought them in and I like set
them all up and I'm, I'm outside, I'm reading my book
because I didn't want to talk tothe parents.
I didn't want to have any small talk with the parents.
And he was like, we got home that night and he was like, I
think we really need to get yourhormones checked because I
(33:47):
already told him a couple of times like I think I'm it's not,
I'm not feeling myself, blah, blah, blah.
I was 100% in this unhealthy range and I became an extrovert
and introverted extra and an extroverted introvert for like 7
months. And it was only when I started
to feel like, OK, I'm balancing everything out.
(34:08):
I feel like myself again that mysocial battery.
So I guess my question to you is, have you always felt like
your social batteries were aboutfour hours or is this like a
season for you? I'm in a position now where I'm
an empty nester. The only person I have to relate
to is myself, so I've really learned a lot about myself in
the past two years. I'm definitely an Amber vert
because I love people, but I love my own alone time and I
(34:31):
feel like I'm able to be myself more now than I have been ever
because I always had to be the extrovert.
I mean, in my job with my kids, I always had to go, go, go.
So now that I don't have to anymore, I feel like this is
where I'm settling in and this is healthy for me.
Wouldn't it make sense for if Nancy is A7 with strong balance
(34:56):
wings, wouldn't it make sense that she also relates to the
five because that's what sevens reach to in health?
Yes. So if you've been feeling, I
thought if you were feeling unhealthy then maybe we would go
that. But since you feel like, I feel
like you're probably in the average healthy range, it might
(35:17):
just be, it's hard to identify your number because you're still
healthy. It's harder with that number,
like with A7, it's harder. Like the example I gave Kate was
I have, you have a really good friend that's an 8 and she is an
8 through and through. Like I know her well.
We've researched it, all of that.
And when my husband found out she was an 8, his reaction was
(35:39):
she's an 8. Gosh, she's so nice, though.
We were like looking at each other and we're like, that's
because she's really healthy. Like you would never have
guessed, but man, when she needsto sit, put the foot down at
work, like she does it. She gets stuff done and she's
got no qualms about confrontation and saying no and
all that. But like she was just so healthy
(36:00):
that like, even though he knew her well, he didn't know.
So that could be it too. Nancy, like Kate said, right,
Kit, the nail on the head, like you could be just really in a
healthy situation and you are A7, but you go to your 5 because
you're like, I'm good. I figured it out like, so we'll
see. I mean, I would definitely say
read a little bit more about 5:00 and 7:00.
(36:23):
Yeah, I won't. Watch that Ted talk.
I did watch the podcast, but I do want to watch the Ted talk.
I didn't have a chance to do that yet, but I, I do feel that
I am in a position in my life right now where I am healthier
and stronger and more self aware.
I've ever been able to be because I always had so much
stuff coming in kids and husbands and people, you know,
(36:47):
And now I'm like, I, I can just not, yeah, you know, I've been
through everything, but it's just, and now I'm like, it's, I
feel very selfish sometimes. But yeah, now I feel like I can
just get to know me. I love that through the course
of tonight, Nancy went from not feeling like any of them to
feeling like she found a type that she relates with.
(37:08):
So yay. Thank you Taylor, Thank you so
much. I appreciate everyone being
here. I do want to do a prize giveaway
real quick. And then Taylor, after we do a
little giveaway, would you be able to leave us with the
inspiration where you were goingto teach us how to get back to
our healthy state when we're feeling stressed out?
(37:30):
Yes. OK, amazing.
OK, you guys, the prize tonight is actually not totally RV
Queens related. It is.
I will send the winner the Ian Cron book called The Road Back
to you. Yes, and here's the trivia
(37:53):
question that this is how you'regoing to win.
You can either unmute yourself and say it out loud, or you can
type it in the chat if you're able to the first person to
respond correctly. What is the name of the
Franciscan monk who brought the Enneagram over to the English
speaking world? We.
Need to go back to few slides. Please no Googling, no ChatGPT
(38:18):
ING. I can tell you where I can tell
you where it is, I just can't tell you what it is.
Nobody. Oh no, I didn't have a backup
question. And I can tell you it was 1990,
you remember? The Penny's Penny's closest.
Taylor, do you have a backup trivia question you can help us
out here with? What number?
(38:38):
I'll give you guys a clue by showing you all the numbers.
What number was Edward Scissorhand and Johnny Depp or
who said that? Oh.
Fancy. Good job.
But Jen had it in the chat too. Good job, students.
Good job everyone. There's the answer.
(39:00):
Congratulations Nancy, you figured out your Enneagram
numbers tonight and you're getting a bug.
Get the book to Jen because I figured out my enneagram.
So we're both. Winners, so generous of you.
Are you like in such a healthy state right now?
I can feel it. OK, so I don't want to make
(39:21):
anybody go super over, but I'm just going to fly through 4
slides because they're really important and I forgot about it
until just now. Come on, Hey, this is it.
This is super fast. Don't use any gram.
The knowledge that you've gainedhere and whatever books you read
as a shield or a sword. This is really good.
Shield would be like I'm hiding behind the shield like I'm a
seven. I was just late because I was a
7. That's what sevens do.
(39:43):
And then sword would be like, well, you're just a one like you
just always want to be right. Just let me stab you with like
you're a one. That's my example.
Not for you, Penny for my husband, but whatever.
Don't assume. This is what we talked about
earlier with Nancy. Like we don't want to assume we
know what people are because we already talked about like we
don't know what people's motivations are.
You're not supposed to type other people, including your
(40:06):
children, unless they're adults.If you have adult children, have
them take the test because you don't know what their motivation
is. Don't manipulate.
I talked about the Enneagram 2. Don't act.
Don't ask the Enneagram 2 to always be the one that helps you
do something. And then you guys, I could study
this for years and years and years.
There's triads and triptychs andall the things.
So it's an it's an onion. You can study this for a long
(40:28):
time. That's why I don't call myself
an Enneagram coach. I call myself an Enneagram
enthusiast because you could keep doing this for years.
So I'm not perfect at this, but in the years that I've been
researching it, I think the bestway to get yourself back to the
health side is to think about your nervous system.
Everyone's nervous system, everybody has a nervous system.
So whether yourself care is meditating or prayer, journaling
(40:53):
or just breathing, whenever you find that rumble strip and
you're like I am in a pattern. I am acting like my stress
number or someone else points itout to you.
If you have friends or family that are Enneagram aware, it is
so helpful because sometimes youdon't notice the rumble strips.
So calm your nervous system. The easiest that I do, which is
(41:15):
because I've taught yoga for a long time and I was a childbirth
coach as well. So breathing is big to me is
literally find yourself in a place hopefully semi quiet, put
earbuds in or sound cancelling if you need to and just breathe.
And I do box breathing which is like breathe in maybe 4 seconds
is a good number. Hold it for four seconds and
(41:37):
then let it out for four seconds.
If that doesn't calm your nervous system, first layer of
the calming. I mean, you need to work deeper
if you're in a deep rumble stripseason, just breathing, telling
your your nervous system that it's OK to relax, it's OK,
you're safe. And then look at your number and
read in a book or online or something that you screen
(41:59):
captured here and I can send youslides if you want.
Read about what your core desireis your court.
Like if you don't, if you remember, Oh, my core desire is
I just want to have contentment and I want to know I'm taking
care of, OK, I'm not crazy. That's what I think.
And I can screenshot anybody wants me to send them a slide.
(42:20):
I will for your number if you missed that.
So yeah, I'd say just take care of your your nervous system and
that'll help you to get back to your health.
What I heard you say was more. Yoga.
And if I'm at a campground near you, you'll come find me.
Yes, good stuff. OK.
Thank you so much, Taylor. I can't thank you enough for
(42:41):
sharing your time with us and your wisdom.
Thank you all for being here. Have a great night everyone.
We'll see you soon. Thank you so much for tuning
into today's episode and for being part of the RV Queens
community. Remember to hit subscribe on
whatever platform you're listening on.
And guess what? You can have conversations like
(43:02):
I had on this episode with your fellow RV women who are living
intentionally and making money on the road.
Head to rvqueenspodcast.com/community to
join RV Queen circles today. It's a totally unique online
space with a shared prosperity model that's all about community
over competition. I'd love to have you be a part.
(43:24):
All right, guys, I'll see you next week or hopefully I will
see you on the road. Such a healthy state right now,
I can feel it.
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