Beyond Mars & Venus - New Insight for Today from Dr. John Gray - Women Road Warriors

Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
This is Women Road warriorswith Shelly Johnson and Kathy Tucaro.
From the corporate office tothe cab of a truck, they're here
to inspire and empower womenin all professions.
So gear down, sit back and enjoy.

(00:23):
Welcome.
We're an award winning showdedicated to empowering women in
every profession throughinspiring stories and expert insights.
No topics off limits.
On our show, we power women onthe road to success with expert and
celebrity interviews andinformation you need.
I'm Shelley.
And I'm Kathy.

(00:44):
As a woman, have you everwondered if your man is from a different
species or on a differentplanet when it comes to communicating
with him?
I know I have.
In 1992, Dr.
John Gray revolutionized howwe look at relationships between
men and women with the bookMen are from Mars, Women Are from
Venus.
According to a CNN newsreport, it was the highest ranked

(01:06):
nonfiction work in the 1990s.
It was on the bestseller listfor over 121 weeks.
USA Today listed it as one ofthe top 10 most influential books
of the past 25 years.
It's been published in over 45languages and has sold over 20 million
copies.
Dr.
Gray's insight talked abouthow men and women are essentially

(01:27):
from different planets andhave fundamental psychological differences
in the ways they interact and think.
Men and women communicate differently.
They respond to stress indifferent ways.
They also view and give love differently.
Dr.
Gray is internationallyrecognized in communications and
relationships.
He helps men and women betterunderstand and respect their differences

(01:48):
in both personal andprofessional relationships.
His approach combines specificcommunication techniques with healthy
nutritional choices thatcreate the brain and body chemistry
for lasting health, happinessand romance.
His many books, blogs and freeonline workshops are@marswevenus.com
they provide practicalinsights to improve relationships

(02:10):
at all stages of life and love.
Dr.
Gray is a certified familytherapist, a member of the distinguished
advisory board of theInternational association of Marriage
and Family Counselors, andconsulting editor of the Family Journal.
He's authored over 20 books.
His newest one is a page turner.
It's called Beyond Mars andRelationship Skills for Our Complex

(02:32):
Modern World.
We have the honor of having Dr.
Gray on our show today to talkabout his insights and his newest
book, which is going to helpso many people in today's crazy technological
world.
Welcome, Dr.
Gray.
Thank you for being on theshow with us.
Well, I'm happy to be with you.
Thank you, Shelley.
Kathy and I are so excited totalk to you.
You really, really are welcome.

(02:53):
It's interesting.
Your perspectives were sodifferent, weren't they, from your
peers in your first book?
It was really so very revolutionary.
You set the world on fire withyour guidebook for men and women.
Well, it's still very controversial.
I was kicked out of Stanfordand Harvard for these ideas and continue
on.
And more and more therapistslove this book because their clients

(03:17):
come back and say how itchanges their lives.
But it's definitely notaccepted in the universities.
The idea that men and womenare different is still considered
to be old fashioned and not true.
When.
Oh, come on.
That's right, Kathy.
They still think we're the same.
And the problem is when wethink we're the same, then we get

(03:38):
really frustrated when ourpartners don't react or respond the
way we react.
Respond.
And when we can understand howwe're different in a positive way,
which is what my work doesanswer so many of the confusing questions
people have.
It really can help relationships.
Absolutely.
I have never thought that menthought like women.

(03:58):
You know, it's common sense.
It's common sense, but ourworld is no longer thinking common
sense.
But even though we understandwe're different, people have always
known we're different until wefoolishly decided not to think that.
We didn't really understandhow we're different in such a positive
way.
And by understanding thosedifferences, we could get closer

(04:20):
together.
And my goal is to help couplesnot just have harmony in their relationships,
but to sustain the attractionand the passion.
Because that seems to be thebiggest issue people have today is
when relationships become kindof routine and boring.
People today want something more.
Historically, you know, myparents stayed together, they're

(04:42):
very happy.
They certainly didn't havepassion after, after seven kids and
raising them all.
But today people want that andI experience it and I know it's possible.
If we use new insights thatscience has given us on how men and
women are different so that wecan sustain the attraction.
And that's, that's good news.

(05:03):
So how are men and women different?
Well, I can look at that 150different ways.
But I'll start with one of themost significant.
When you're stressed.
And why I talk about stress isbecause when you're stressed, whether
you're a man or woman, yourbiology dictates how you react.
Suddenly blood flow goes tothe right prefrontal cortex, which

(05:26):
only sees the negative, and itstops going to the left prefrontal
cortex, which only sees the positive.
And what we want is a balanced perspective.
Yes, life is full of problems,but there's also solutions to those
problems.
And particularly for womenwhen they have a certain moderate
stress, for them, more bloodflow goes to the Right part of the

(05:47):
brain which sees problems.
And for men under moderatestress, more blood flow goes to the
left prefrontal cortex, whichmakes them very optimistic.
So quite often a woman couldbe talking about problems, and he'll
say, don't worry about it.
It's no big deal.
It's not a problem.
And she's like, I'm not sayingit's a big deal.
I just want to talk about it.
Because here's anotherbiological difference between men

(06:10):
and women is that when womencan talk about problems, a hormone
called oxytocin gets produced,which says, I need someone to listen.
And if somebody does listen,then her estrogen levels will go
up, which comfort her brain,calm her brain.
And the biological response ofoxytocin, coupled with a surge of

(06:31):
estrogen, a woman's stresslevel will go down.
Now, what's different aboutmen and women is that when men experience
a moderate level of stress,there's something in the brain called
mirror cells that allow you tofeel what somebody else is feeling.
That's why we can have empathyand compassion and connection.
Well, under moderate stress, aman's mirror cells turn off as he

(06:53):
focuses on giving solutions.
To have solutions, histestosterone levels go up, which
causes his stress levels to go down.
This is another big biologicaldifference between men and women.
When we understand how ourhormones are different, which is
when men's testosterone levelsgo down, a man's stress level goes
down.

(07:13):
When a woman's estrogenoxytocin, go up, her stress levels
go down.
So when you take all thatinformation, which in one paragraph
can seem a littleoverwhelming, unfortunately, people
can listen to this over and over.
But the bottom line is, if aman is a good listener and knows
how to listen to a woman, hecan lower her stress.
And if a woman understandsmen, she can give him clear instructions

(07:37):
on how to listen so that hewill feel what she's feeling.
And that will allow him tobond with her more, allow him to
feel a sense of empathy andcompassion for her, and increase
his motivation to be there for her.
But if she doesn't know how tocommunicate because he doesn't know
his biology, just the mirrorcells turn off as soon as she starts

(07:58):
talking about problems.
So he's thinking how to solvethem as opposed to what she's really
looking for today.
Sometimes she wants asolution, and that's fine, but most
of the time, women are complaining.
He doesn't really hear me, youknow, he just wants to give solutions.
He interrupts me.
He wants me to get to the point.
Well, That's.
You know, men are likeemergency men.
They want to put out the fire.

(08:18):
And so you have to say certainthings to remind him that this is
not an emergency.
I just need you to not say anything.
Ask me some questions.
I'll feel better.
Don't give me advice and giveme a hug afterwards, and I'll feel
so good.
Men don't know thatinstinctively, but we can gradually
learn it.
If women learn how tocommunicate their needs to a man

(08:40):
and ask for help in that way,it makes so much sense.
But, you know, you do run intoguys who they tend to shut down.
They aren't good listeners.
That is a biological.
It's not guys.
It's every single man.
If he cares about you, he'sbiologically wired up so that if
you talk about a problem, hismirror cells literally shut down.

(09:03):
This has already been proven.
It's simple biology.
He will now, instead ofconnecting with her, feeling what
she's feeling, he will, in hismind, be thinking about, is this
really a problem that needs tobe solved?
What could she look, how couldshe do it differently?
And that's his way of helping.
Think of us men as emergency guys.
We're not.
We're sitting around the firestation waiting for the alarm to

(09:25):
go, and then we just take action.
You know, for police, we gottabe our guns really fast.
You know, there's a.
It's the biology of us.
That's who we are.
Is.
And so if you just.
It has to be prefaced, it's assimple as training a man, so to speak,
and actually helping to rewirehis brain.
You know, rewiring the braincan happen.

(09:46):
You know, we have thistendency as men to.
Our mirror cells will shutdown as soon as we hear a problem
exists.
So what we can do is, is if awoman really was.
Her life's in danger, she'd beso glad that he jumps right into
solving problems.
Okay?
He wanted to fix that problemright away.
But much of the time, threequarters of the time, when women

(10:07):
talk, it's really their lookto their husbands.
They're looking for some kindof connection, some kind of compassion,
some kind of empathy.
You know, just an opportunityto sort her ideas out with a good
listener.
So this is what she's looking for.
Men do not instinctivelyunderstand to do that, but their
brains can be rewired so thatthey can.

(10:29):
Because what happens is brain.
The science of brainplasticity points out that when something
happens that surprises you,that takes you by surprise, that
you didn't expect to happen,and it happened when that occurs,
particularly if there'semotions involved and the outcome
was positive, the brain willimmediately rewire itself to approach

(10:51):
that situation differently inthe future.
So I'll give you an example ofhow my brain rewired itself, which
is one time my wife was, youknow, she was telling me a whole
bunch of problems.
And as I'm listening to her,I'm thinking, how can you be happy
when you think about all these problems?
And I'm listening.
And she could see I was justfeeling exhausted.
And she said, john, I knowthis sounds like you listening.

(11:18):
There's no point in listeningor something like that.
I know it sounds like there'sno point to this, but I want you
to know, just you listening tomy feelings helps me to feel better.
That was shocking to me.
I couldn't imagine how justtalking about problems could make
you feel better.
And then she just said, all Ineed from you is a hug and I'll feel

(11:38):
better.
Well, that changed me.
I still remember that.
That was over 40 years ago,but that was a turning point for
me.
Not that I still intuitivelyunderstand it.
If a woman wants a man to be agood listener every time he listens,
and you're not looking for asolution, but you're just listening,
make sure to let him know withwords, that was really helpful, or,

(11:59):
I really like that, or thankgoodness I have somebody to talk
to, and it's you, because Iknow you love me.
Some kind of little finishingstatement to remind him that just
listening actually is veryhelpful to a woman.
And sometimes she doesn't wanthim just to listen.
She wants him to solve the problem.
Then she needs to be clearabout that.
So it's like understandingthat we communicate in different

(12:22):
languages, but the words arethe same, but the intent behind them
is sometimes she wants totalk, sometimes she wants to solve
problems.
Let's figure out which onewe're doing right now.
So men are retrainable.
I think a lot of women wouldlike to hear that.
You rule.
Women have the power.

(12:42):
You know, the whole thingabout women's empowerment.
I'm all for it and everything, equality.
But the real power women haveis the power to get people to do
things for you.
Male power.
And women have male power andfemale power.
But male power is gettingthings done, achieving your goals,
making a difference.
And certainly that's great.

(13:02):
It feels powerful, it feels good.
It fulfills our mission andpurpose in this world.
That's one of our powers.
But the other power that'shugely missing today in women is
the power to get other peopleto do that for you so you don't have
to do it all, so you don'thave to do so much.
And when I say the women, I'mtalking about the women that I meet.
I'm a therapist, so maybethere's other people I don't see,
Although I've spoken, spokento millions of people.

(13:24):
Is women have this thing goingon now, and I watched it since the
80s increase more and moreevery year.
This feeling of overwhelmwhere women feel overwhelmed, telling
me, there's no time for me orno time for this, there's too much
to do.
And that feeling of overwhelm.
If you look at her biology atthat time, her biology is her male
hormone testosterone is offthe chart.

(13:45):
She's thinking, I have to dothis, I have to do this, I have to
do this.
And at the same time, herestrogen levels are low.
Estrogen is the hormone thatgoes up when you have other people
doing things for you.
When you feel, I can depend onmy husband for this and this and
this, and I'm grateful for that.
Your estrogen levels go highif you're not married to a man, you

(14:06):
can go, I depend on my doctor,and I go talk to my doctor.
Her estrogen levels will go high.
Her stress levels will go down.
If she has a good friend whocan support her or her backup, she
can go to that person.
I was just coaching a woman inone of my classes, and she was saying,
you know, I realized she wasin her 70s and she was single for
quite a while.

(14:26):
And she said, I realized thatI don't really like men, generally
speaking.
And I can understand why.
She didn't know how to talk tomen, but she didn't like men.
But I do notice that these menthat I hire to do things around the
house, I like them.
And I said, well, that'sbecause you're finally realizing
how to use a man.

(14:47):
You know, the whole thing.
We men want to be used.
We're like tools.
And as long as we get paid,you know, that's what I do.
I work hard because I'll get paid.
Well, the payment a man needsfrom a woman is not money.
It's that she appreciates him,that she depends on him, that she
looks forward to seeing him,that she delights in his presence

(15:07):
without trying to change him.
That is the ultimate.
I'll say it again, theultimate form of love for a man is
you delight in his presencewith no intention to change him,
but you have all freedom toask for help.
And get support.
That's the key.
But when you see the man as aproblem, he can't solve your problems.

(15:27):
He's the problem.
So learning how to communicateyour feelings about him being a problem,
you don't do that to him.
That will never work.
That's called complainingabout him.
It will never work is that hermirror neurons will shut down instantly
if you have a complaint about him.
This is biology.
This is.
The littlest bit of stresswill shut down the mirror neurons

(15:52):
in his brain, which means hedoesn't feel any compassion or empathy
for you.
He will go right intodefending himself to explain to you
why he's not the problem andyou're the problem for thinking he's
the problem.
The man pointing out to youthat when you make a man the problem,
look at your own experience.
I'm just telling you what itis with men.

(16:14):
And it's the same thing with women.
If I make my wife the problem,she's going to make me the problem.
If a man says you shouldn't beupset about something, then you're
going to give him more reasonswhy you should be upset about something.
It's, this is human nature.
We just tend to do it indifferent ways.
But nobody wants to be viewedas the problem.
So therefore, when women dohave a stressful, you know, feel

(16:37):
unsupported, ignored, not notcared about, not important, or he's
lazy, he's irresponsible, hedoesn't follow through on things,
he's not doing what you expecthim to do.
That all causes frustration,disappointment, anger, hurt, all
those feelings.
Those feelings go talk to afriend about, because if you can
talk to somebody who can hearyour feelings, your stress will go

(16:59):
down.
Those insurmountable problemsactually become much smaller.
There's still problems, but atthat point, you don't have an emotional
charge of upset with him.
And then you find him, yougive him the opportunity to solve
those problems one thing at atime by asking for help.
See, the key here is thatwomen are not good at asking for
help.
And if they are, it oftensounds like a complaint.

(17:21):
But if you can ask for help,when a man is bonded to you, then
he's automatically motivatedto help you.
Now, how does a man bond with you?
Well, there's two major waysmen bond with you, and that's when
you share yourself in the mostvulnerable way.
Now, the obvious way, whichthe research backs up, is a man's
mirror cells, which once againallow him to bond with you.

(17:44):
They open up the highest whenhe's making Love to you.
If he's making love to you andyou're enjoying it in the most positive
way possible, okay.
So when you're responding tohis movements in the bedroom and
you love it and you want it,then his mirror cells will open up
the most.
So that's one situation.
But you can't just go and dothat if you're a woman, if you're

(18:05):
not feeling loved andsupported and so forth.
So how do you end up feelingloved and supported?
So you can bond with him?
So you want to let him bondwith you in that way is that's called
being vulnerable.
When you're vulnerable, ofcourse, in the bedroom, you're very
vulnerable.
Vulnerability is what opens upa man's mirror cells.
When you're vulnerable in arelationship, you could go and share

(18:27):
with him on a regular basis.
Today I just want to talk toyou about what happened at my work
or with my friend so and so orwhen I visited my mother.
You share with him emotionsand feelings that you would not normally
share with anybody else.
That makes him special and youable to share those things because

(18:48):
a lot goes on inside of women.
They don't share with anybody.
But when you can start toshare your emotions and feelings
with him in a way that causeshis mirror cells to open up, he will
bond with you more and be moremotivated and energized to please
you like he was in the very beginning.
That's women's biggestcomplaint, is that he's not like
he was in the beginning.

(19:08):
And of course, his complaintis you're not like what you were
in the beginning.
And then your complaint willbe, well, that's because you're not.
You were in the beginning.
Yeah, it's kind of interesting.
I can totally relateeverything you're talking about.
Yep, yep.
And this is.
This is a lot to take in.
But the reason I bring in allthis science is that there's such

(19:29):
a force in the world thatwants to say that, oh, this is just
John Gray's opinion.
This is just his ideas.
Even though millions of peoplehave benefited from these ideas.
There's just the commonknowledge in our society, to a great
extent, is that men should belike women.
Another way is that men shouldtalk about their feelings.
Well, 95% of all therapists,experts in psychology say that, oh,

(19:55):
talking about feelings is theantidote for everything.
No, it's not.
It's literally the antidotefor everything for a woman, if she
has a good listener and someknowledge, extra knowledge about
how to understand why thingsare going Wrong in her life.
But talking about feelingsactually weakens men.
And this is why we have thisphenomena in America where every

(20:15):
year men's testosterone levelsgo down 2%.
That means by the time he's50, it's half of what it was when
he was a young man.
And for the poor young mentoday, on average, this isn't every
man.
It's like me.
Not me, for example.
I'm in my 70s, and mytestosterone is 50% higher than when
I was a young man.
But the young men today at 20,their testosterone levels are already

(20:38):
20% lower than just 20 yearsago and 50% lower than what it was
probably 80 years ago whenthey first started testing this.
Wow.
Huge drop in testosterone in males.
And testosterone once againgets this bad rap.
Everything about men gets abad rap these days.
But we associate men'saggression and violence, and men

(21:01):
are the more aggressive,violent people on the outside.
For sure, 90% of the people injail are men, but that's still a
sliver of men.
That's less than 1% of men.
So just keep that in mind.
Men are not these violent creatures.
They're just some that are out there.
And therefore, we need ourhusbands to be somewhat violent to
protect us.
But somewhat doesn't mean tobe aggressive.
But aggression in a positiveway is a good thing.

(21:23):
Competition is a good thing.
Now in the schools.
Oh, competition is terrible.
Boys should not be faced withhaving to challenge themselves and
face the possibility of losing.
No win and loss.
You have to learn to adjustand adapt, and you learn to how to
be the best you can be throughcompetition, Learning what you're
good at and what you're notgood at.
Being happy for other people's success.

(21:45):
They'll be happy for your success.
There's so much that's missingin our childhood today for males,
but the biggest thing is justgetting them to talk about their
feelings.
It's like some kind of cultthat says, oh, every dysfunctional
thing a man has ever done isbecause he didn't get to cry as a
little boy.
That's nonsense.
I teach in the prisons to real criminals.

(22:05):
It's not.
They didn't get a chance to cry.
They, they.
They had something to cry about.
That's the problem.
And they didn't get to talkabout their feelings.
But.
But it's that they hadsomething to cry about, is that their
parents weren't happy, thattheir parents were violent.
The parents were addicted, theparents abandoned them.
That's the trauma that goes oninside of men.
And when men have traumainside their hurt.

(22:28):
What happens typically for menis when they feel hurt, they hurt
others.
For women, when they feelhurt, they hurt themselves with low
self esteem, with beingcodependent, with making other people's
needs more important than herown by picking the wrong men, by
trying to please men whoaren't available.
This is how women react to theabuses of our childhood, which would

(22:50):
not be considered abusive inother time periods.
In other time periods, peopledidn't have the sensitivities that
we have now.
But with the sensitivities wehave now, we tend to act out the
wounds of our childhood.
In our relationships, we pickpartners to be that way.
And we can also pick partnerswho are like our parents in some
way, like our childhood.

(23:10):
But we can change ourselvesand bring out the best in them.
The answer is not always Finda new partner.
Many times, find a new part ofyou and you'll bring out a new part
in your partner.
Then you'll know clearly, isit you know, do I really need to
leave this relationship or not?
But women have no idea.
The women I've experiencedover 50 years of counseling understanding

(23:33):
how men think, how women think.
Women don't know how theyunknowingly sabotage their relationships
with men.
And if you don't have arelationship successful with a man
and you want one or you wantedone, then you just don't understand
how you unknowingly sabotage.
Stay tuned for more of WomenRoad warriors coming up.

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Welcome welcome back to WomenRoad warriors with Shelly Johnson

(25:05):
and Kathy Tucaro.
If you're enjoying thisinformative episode of Women Road
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(25:28):
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(25:48):
and other sites and tellothers about us.
We want to help as many womenas possible Dr.
John Gray believes that menand women are not the same.
They don't think or react orrespond the same way.
This controversial commonsense approach to relationships has
led to much debate among his peers.
With the insight he promotedover 30 years ago, Dr.

(26:09):
Gray's goal is to sustain theattraction and passion in a couple's
relationship.
He says that's the biggestissue men and women have today.
People want those two things,he says attraction and passion are
accomplished by using theinsights that science has given us
on how men and women aredifferent and we can't ignore the
facts.
His insights into how ourbodies and hormones impact how we

(26:29):
react is amazing.
Something else amazing iswomen can rewire men's brains, which
is an interesting fact Kathyand I liked Men are wired to get
things done and women can getthem to do that for them so they
don't have to do as much.
You can also get men to listenand bond with you more.
Dr.
Gray has been telling us howto get the best possible outcomes.

(26:50):
He's the author of theoverwhelming bestseller Men Are from
Mars, Women Are From Venus.
His many books, blogs and freeonline workshops are@marsvenus.com
Dr.
Gray has a new book, BeyondMars and Relationship Skills for
Our complex modern world.
Dr.
Gray's been sharing hisknowledge with us.
In our last segment, welearned that women unknowingly sabotage

(27:14):
their relationships with men.
You know, that was somethingthat I was reading in your materials,
Dr.
Gray There are three wayswomen sabotage communication and
unknowingly lose the respectof men.
What are those three ways?
Wow.
Well, in my mind I think of 10ways, but what three ways did you
hear?
And I'll comment on them.
Or I can just do the three ways.

(27:34):
Yeah, I thought maybe youcould list them because that was
just the bullet Point that Isaw them like three way women's sabotage.
Yeah.
Okay, so three ways womensabotage is they unknowingly.
They assume that when you talkabout your feelings that a man will
be able to hear you.
No, he can't hear you unlessyou say to him.

(27:54):
You have to literally say,this is not a big deal.
That's a very important thing.
Just this one idea.
I just want to talk about myfeelings and it's not a big deal.
Now, why is that important to say?
Well, the reason that'simportant to say is that when men
want to talk about theirfeelings, it's only when their stresses
are really high.

(28:15):
Biologically, if a man'shaving moderate stress, he'll have
zero feelings.
Now, let me explain that.
This is measurable again.
Under moderate stress, that'scalled adrenaline.
What happens in a man's brainis blood flow stops to the emotional
part of the brain.
Literally stops, turns off,gone, disappeared.
When a woman has adrenaline,moderate stress, the daily routine

(28:37):
stresses that we go through,she experiences five to eight times
more blood flow to theemotional part of the brain.
So for her, Moderate stress is8 times more blood flow, more emotion
for a man, moderate stress isno emotion.
So that's step one.
Step two is if a man doesn'tresolve the problems that are causing

(28:59):
him more adrenaline, then whatwill occur is his body will begin
making a more a severe stresshormone, a more unhealthy stress
hormone, which is called cortisol.
When a man makes cortisol,now, his brain, his emotional brain
will have five to eight timesmore blood flow suddenly.

(29:21):
So high stress for a man is anemotional brain.
Low stress for men is noemotion for women.
For women, low stress is a lotof emotion in the brain and high
stress is no emotion in the brain.
This is like when a woman isso stressed in marriage, she says,
I have no love left for this guy.

(29:42):
Okay?
That's just chronic cortisolin her brain, cutting her off from
the emotional part of her brain.
So now you understand.
I'll say it one more time soit's very clear.
Low stress for a man is no emotion.
Low stress for a woman is alot of emotion and a wanting to talk
about it.
High stress for women is she'sgiven up, she's shut down.
High stress for men is anexpression of a lot of emotion.

(30:06):
Anger, fear, anxiety, fight,flight, fold, fake.
All those kind of strongemotional states is particularly
fight or flight and freeze.
These are the high emotion states.
So under moderate stress, if awoman's talking about her feelings
he's going to misinterpret herthinking that she's saying, this
is a big deal.

(30:27):
You know, I got guns blaring.
This is terrible, terrible.
And she's just saying, youforgot the butter.
It's not understanding.
So all she has to do is, thisisn't a big deal.
I just wanted to talk about itis I expected you to bring home the
butter.
And tomorrow I'd reallyappreciate if you remember.
Because we need it so we canmake blah, blah, blah.

(30:49):
So in a.
In a moderate way, he doesn'treact as if my wife is making a huge
deal out of this.
Because what do men say allthe time?
Because they don't understand women.
They say, my wife, she makessuch a big deal out of everything.
She's never happy.
I feel it's like nothing I dois ever good enough.
When from her point of view,there's so much he does, it's good
enough.

(31:09):
But now she's just having thisstrong emotional reaction.
So the way she sabotages isnot by setting him up for hearing
what she has to say.
The second thing a woman doesto sabotage communication is when
she's not getting what shewants, she just points out to him
that he has failed.
She will complain, you forgotto do this.

(31:31):
You didn't do this.
Why didn't you do that?
She'll ask a lot of questionslike, he's on trial.
And she does this soeffortlessly, it's amazing.
It's hard for me to evenremember all the ways they can do
it.
I have to write them down asmy clients are giving me examples.
Is that she can just userhetorical questions to tear a guy
down.
And she doesn't realize she'sdoing it.

(31:52):
She's really just trying togive him the message, what she wants
and what she needs.
So what does she need to do ifshe's upset?
Whenever she's upset, don'task for more.
See, when women are upset,that's when they do ask for more.
And they justify the requestwith an emotional charge, like, I'm
really unhappy, so unless youdo this, I won't be happy.

(32:14):
Okay?
That's not the time ever toask for help.
What you want to do iswhenever you have any emotional charge,
you want to use him to reducethat charge by hearing what you're
feeling about other problemsand not him.
Because whenever you make himthe problem, he can't be the solution.

(32:35):
It's a basic idea.
Whenever you make a man theproblem, he's not going to be the
solution.
But what you can get from aman is a solution to lower your stress
by talking about other thingsthat are upsetting to you.
And when he hears that, notonly do you feel better, but he bonds
with you more.
Now this is biological.

(32:56):
There's his bonding hormonewill get released at that time when
it's called prolactin.
But that hormone will getreleased when he feels successful
in connecting with youremotions and you appreciate him for
it.
So your stress levels go down,your oxytocin levels go up, you bond
with him more, he bonds withyou more.

(33:17):
Now this prolactin hormone hasother benefits too.
The prolactin hormone inhibitsa man's ability to want have sex
with other women.
All men are designed to havesex with as many women as possible.
This is sort of the instinctof the lower unconscious part of
his brain.
And all these books use thatas a justification for having lots

(33:38):
of partners and so forth.
And yes, that's.
Isn't that called the lizard brain?
That's called the lizard brain.
And women have one too.
Men have one.
It's twice as big in a man asit is in a woman.
And it's directly linked tosex for men.
So it's to get men to procreate.
You know, it takes a lot ofdrive for a man to face rejection.

(33:58):
Because a woman's job, if youlook historically, is only to have
sex with a man if he's worthyof being having sex with because
he would make a good father.
I'll just say that again.
It used to be culture protected.
Women with this knowledgedon't have sex with a man unless
he's capable of being a goodfather and you want to have a baby
with him.
So naturally, when women havesex, there's consequences.

(34:22):
At least before birth control,there's the consequences of having
sex.
So women have to be careful.
They're not just going to havesex with anybody.
They're not going to let themgo to that place.
And that place, by the way,for a woman is actually stronger
than for a man if certainrequirements are fulfilled.
So she has like a mechanismthat says certain things have to
be fulfilled.

(34:42):
I need to be the only one inyour life.
I need to be special in your life.
I need you to see me, hear me,respect me, care about me.
I want to be the number oneperson in your life.
And that's called bonding.
And so this is where men willbond with women.
One of the ways they bond withher is by having sex with a woman.
They're in a committedrelationship with.
Then this hormone calledprolactin gets produced, which now

(35:06):
inhibits his desire for sexwith anybody, including her.
Unless, unless they're able tobond in a particular way, which is
where she's able to share hervulnerability, which is talking about
feelings and emotions shewouldn't share with anybody else.
She's able to share that withhim in a way that his mirror cells

(35:28):
will open up, meaning he's notthe problem.
And so when he now is thesolution to her vulnerability, this
bonding hormone gets produced.
What also gets produced is histestosterone levels go high, which
allows him to once again wantto have sex with her and her estrogen
levels go high and that allowsher to want to have sex with him.

(35:51):
It's very paradoxical forwomen in that in a marriage, generally
speaking, there's exceptionswhere, you know, many women today
are so masculine that theywant to have sex all the time, like
a guy.
But we're not talking aboutthose women.
We're talking about a womanwho's more grounded in her feminine
energy.
She's not that interested insex until her estrogen levels double

(36:12):
her normal level.
Now this is measurable in her brain.
When a woman's estrogen levelsgo up, it means she's trusting, she's
feeling appreciative, shefeels, I can depend on him and he's
actually delivering the goods.
When he delivers the goods,her estrogen levels go higher.
When her estrogen level gohigher, another hormone called luteinizing
hormone gets released andcauses her testosterone levels to

(36:35):
surge very high.
And that surge of testosteroneis what causes her to want to have
sex as much or more than any guy.
And that's the healthyrelationship that good communication
can deliver.
But just bonding through sex,what happens is men lose their interest
in sex with everybody.
And that's what you see.

(36:55):
These 45, 50 year old guys,they have to have Viagra to have
sex.
They're only having sexbecause they remember how good it
feels.
It's not like their penisremembers it.
They need help.
It doesn't have to be that way.
And it's not that way for all men.
I know other men as well, likeme, who have extremely high libidos.
And their wives have highlibidos in their 70s because they

(37:16):
have these good communication skills.
So her vulnerability is whatstimulates his mirror cells to open
up.
The mirror cells open up onceagain, the dopamine levels rise,
which motivates him.
The testosterone levels rise,which give him his, his libido back.
And they make love and theybond and that's wonderful.

(37:38):
And.
And typically, that's notenough to keep it going because they're
not having sex all the time.
They're raising kids, they'regoing through their life.
But every day, even withouthaving sex every day, a woman can.
Or not every day, every otherday, whatever, a woman can share
her vulnerable feelings.
It's a woman's vulnerabilityshared in a way where a man can be

(37:58):
her solution to that rescuer her.
Her fix her to support her atthat time through good emotional
conversation.
Now, how she sabotages this is.
Women have this deal, and they are.
You know, think of a.
Think about a woman whodoesn't instinctively understand

(38:18):
men and women are different.
And even though she knows onthe surface we're different, there's
certain subtleties she doesn't understand.
And that is when two womentalk, we'll say women on Venus, when
they talk, it'd be rude foryou to say to another woman, oh,
I'm so happy to see you.
I just want to talk to youabout my kids and what's going on
in my life.
And I really don't want tohear anything from you.

(38:39):
So please don't speak, don'tsay anything.
Just listen to me, and I'llfeel so good.
And then I just want to hug atthe end.
That would be the rudest thingin the world on her planet.
And yet that is the best thingyou can do for a man.
That's going to be the mostpowerful bonding thing you can do
is to share what's inside,bring an emotion to it, and he just

(39:00):
listens.
His mirror cells open up, hebonds with you, because what's happening
is he wakes up.
See, women don't understand men.
Our Testosterone levels are 10times higher than a woman's.
A woman's estrogen levels are10 to 20 times higher than a man's.
So estrogen gives you emotionand feeling.

(39:20):
Testosterone gives you detachment.
And it's not that a man can'taccess his estrogen, it's just if
he accesses too much, then hisstress levels will go higher.
When a man is experiencingthat high stress level, what's happening
there?
When men have fight or fight,when they're aggressive or when they're
grumpy, irritable, they're mean.

(39:40):
All of that is not who men are.
That's what they become whenthey're not their true self.
What happens is when a man'scortisol levels get produced, the
standard thing, standardknowledge, is fight or flight and
freeze.
But what's going on?
Biologically which nowresearch proves, I've been Talking
about for 15 years now, I'vegot research actually backing it

(40:01):
up.
Solid studies all over theplace, is that when a man's producing
cortisol, his female hormonesare 10 times higher, they're shooting
up and his testosterone isshooting down.
Now if a man is, if he'sstressed, the worst thing he can
do is to talk about his feelings.

(40:21):
If you talk about yourfeelings, whether you're a man or
a woman, your estrogen goes up.
That's the function of talkingabout feelings.
Women, when they're stressed,they need more estrogen.
So talking about feelings isthe holy grail.
It doesn't apply to men.
All it does is it suppressestestosterone in men and makes men
go too far to estrogen land.

(40:42):
And what is estrogen land?
Estrogen land is where youdepend on someone for your happiness.
And that's the foundation ofwhy we have so many more men who
are addicted.
When you are addicted toalcohol and drugs or violence, any
of those activities orprocrastination, that's where you're
overly depending on someoneelse or something else to fulfill

(41:04):
you.
And you're a man, yourtestosterone is down and your estrogen
is up.
And that creates the greatestweakness in men.
And to sit and talk about yourfeelings is the worst thing you could
possibly do.
Now the flip side of that is,you know, you look at 12 step programs
helping alcoholics and soforth, and drug rehab.
Not that they always work, butthe aspect that does work is when

(41:26):
people get together and they share.
But for men, the real benefitis listening to other people's problems.
When men can listen to otherpeople's problems, they're stepping
outside of their own problems.
And that creates testosteronedetachment, not indifference.
But he's detached, he's nottalking about his own problems.

(41:47):
So what you get is a mixtureof men in a group where some are
willing to share theirfeelings, all the others are listening.
And that listening quality iswhat raises testosterone in men.
So even if you're one of themen who does share and your estrogen
levels are going up, you'realso listening to other men or other
women talk about theirfeelings, talk about their experiences.

(42:08):
And your mirror cells open upbecause you're not blaming them,
you're relating to them.
If you have the same addiction.
So this is all good news.
So it's understanding.
Men and women are different.
Don't expect men to talk,don't ask them questions.
When a man is stressed or upset.
So we'll go to the third Therewas quite a bit of points, but I'll

(42:28):
say one more on sabotaging.
So when a man sabotage.
When a woman unknowinglysabotages communication is after
a day of stress.
Men typically, if they'restressed that day, they run out of
testosterone.
They need to rebuild theirtestosterone before they can enter
the world of Venus.
The world of Venus.
Listening to my wife talk orhelping her, doing things for her,

(42:51):
that's always going toincrease my estrogen, make me feel
good.
Estrogen feels good as long asI have high testosterone.
But when I get home from work,I have exhausted myself on some days,
so my testosterone levels are low.
This is typical for men.
How do they rebuild their testosterone?
They do what I call in.
Men are from Mars.
They go to their cave.
The cave is very important.

(43:11):
They basically.
The man cave.
That's right.
That came from Men are from Mars.
You know, this is the wholeidea for women to understand that
men could be in their mancave, and they don't have to take
it personally.
So many women over the yearshave thanked me for understanding
the man cave because theyrealized when he would pull away
and show little interest inher, that it was not personal, it
was not about her.

(43:32):
It was literally him needingtime to rebuild his testosterone.
Now, this is.
There's a lot to that.
I can't go into all that now,but think about anything that a woman
would consider to be a wasteof time is actually ideal activity
for a man cave.
So that now there are certainthings that are not helpful in the
man cave for men.
You know, if a man is weak inhis masculinity, then he'll do things

(43:55):
that aren't that great in hisman cave or he hasn't been guided.
One is porn.
Porn will give a man aninstant rush of testosterone to rebuild
it, but it will immediatelydeflate and drop back down.
So it just becomes like an addiction.
Like cocaine gives you a surgeof dopamine and testosterone and
it crashes down lower.
So now you're depending uponthat high hit.

(44:16):
So addictions are not a goodthing to do in the cave.
Some things in the cave couldbecome addictions.
Like if he was to sit and playa game on the computer.
If he did it for 30 minutesand stopped, it's not an addiction.
But if he continues on forhours, it becomes an addiction.
Listening to the news is myfavorite one.
But if it goes on for hours,it's become an addiction.

(44:38):
So, you know, you have to,like, the way you overcome addictions
is you get the benefit of thesurge of testosterone.
And then you have a wife whosays to you, honey, I need your help.
When you get a chance, wouldyou help me?
That's what always pulls meout of the cave.
The honey do list, right?
That's right.
But that's the key.
When we get to the honeydew list.
That's another set of wayswomen unknowingly sabotage getting

(45:00):
help in the relationship.
But enough to cover for rightnow is that through good communication,
he will bond with her.
And when he bonds with her,then he doesn't resent doing lots
of more things for her.
And that becomes the way totruly help him to continue growing
in his attraction for her iswhen he's earning her support by

(45:21):
doing things for her.
And women notice a man in hiscave, they don't want to ask him
for help.
Yes, always when he's in hiscave, you can say, hey, when you're
done doing what you're doing,you're fixing your carburetor in
the garage, whatever it is,playing with your toy set in the
attic.
I need your help.
Okay?
You know, this is women.
You're the alarm bell thatgets Mr.

(45:42):
Emergency man woken up.
So we go to the third.
I wanted to get to the thirdway women sabotage their communication
with the man.
When he's in his cave, hedoesn't want to talk.
So I could be sitting therewatching the news.
It's not the time for me to talk.
I'm trying to rebuild mytestosterone and talking particularly

(46:02):
about what I'm feeling inside.
And men have feelings inside,but they process them not by talking
about them out loud.
They process them inside byjust feeling them and mulling them
over and trying to figure themout, solve the problem or realize
they're not a problem.
And he lets it go.
Just like women can talk aboutproblems, and then suddenly the problems

(46:22):
don't exist anymore, orthey're not a big deal.
Or now she knows what she'sgoing to do about it and she feels
better.
For a man, that's the same thing.
He just does it internally, hedoes it quietly.
And if she gets in there andgets him to talk about it, it only
makes it worse.
He's trying to rebuild histestosterone and center himself in
that way.
And if she gets him to talk atthat time, it's the worst thing.

(46:46):
And women will feel like, youmust talk.
What are you feeling?
What's going on?
Are you upset with me?
And he says, no.
And she says, I don't believe it.
And.
And what's going on inside of you?
And why aren't you talking?
And now she says, I thinkyou're mad at me.
And now I can honestly say,well, yes, now I am mad at you because
I don't want to talk.
So this is just the wrongdirection to go.

(47:07):
I understand women's panic andfear when a man doesn't want to talk
when he's detached.
Why?
Because when women detach,they are indifferent.
They decided, I don't want totalk to you because I don't trust
you, I don't care about you,their stress levels are really high,
they're mad at you.
And so she assumesinstinctively, if he doesn't want
to talk, then he must behiding something, he must be mad

(47:28):
with me, I did something wrong.
What is it then?
Then if she did do something wrong?
Because sometimes she, my wifecan say something, whatever, it's
very annoying to me.
I need to not talk, I need tosuck it up, reflect on it, do something
that makes me feel good, thatraises my testosterone, that's not
anti productive like porn ortaking some alcohol.
I need to do something that'sproductive to raise my testosterone.

(47:51):
And lo and behold, the thingthat she said was annoying and irritating
is not annoying and irritating.
It's my wife.
She's not perfect, I love her,I adore her.
Nobody's perfect, I'm not perfect.
And so this is how werationalize things, is we come back
to love.
You know, love melts all thatgo away, right?
Oh my goodness, the dynamics here.

(48:12):
So much to unpack.
And I, and I probably couldhave said that all in a few short
minutes.
Oh no.
But get all that information.
This is fascinating and youreally are offering some tremendous
insight.
Your whole website offers somany different things.
And of course you've got thisnew book.
I wanted to touch on that.
Beyond Mars and RelationshipSkills for our Complex Modern World.

(48:34):
What is that about?
I mean, that's so needed.
Our world is just totally outof control.
It seems like what our world is.
Doing to women and to men isthat when women are out there in
the world solving problems,fixing things, making money, being
single, supporting their kids,all those things are exceptionally
stressful.

(48:55):
Because she's makingtestosterone, the male hormone, whenever
she's solving problems for money.
When you're doing things formoney, that's the reward you're getting,
so to speak.
That produces testosteronewhen you do things from love, just
because you care and you loveand you enjoy and you like, that
produces female hormones.
There's nothing wrong withwomen being on their male side solving

(49:17):
problems as long as their lifeis balanced, where they have support
to come back to their female side.
And that's what's missing today.
So this book, Beyond Mars andVenus, is how men and women have
changed.
In a sense, our roles have changed.
Whereas women are more ontheir male side, and when women are
more on their male side, theyneed a new form of help from men.

(49:40):
The new help they need frommen is how to get back to their female
side.
So a lot of women feel likethey want better communication because
that helps her get back to herfemale side when it's done correctly.
They want more romance.
They want more affection andwarmth and participation from him
in the relationship, whichthey're not getting if he doesn't
bond with her through good communication.

(50:00):
And three is they want morehelp around the house.
And yes, help around the houseis something very, very practical,
but it's not gonna stimulatethe romantic hormones.
It does in the beginning, butthen it becomes routine.
What stimulates the romantichormones is the bonding of good communication,
which then motivates him toactually be more romantic and makes

(50:21):
her more receptive to himbeing more romantic.
And then she practices askingfor help around the house.
And he's very happy to applyto help out more, more and more,
to whatever extent he's beentrained to do it.
You don't have to ask.
You know, I never saw my daddoing housework, so my wife had to
train me to do it.
And I did, actually did awhole research project, oversaw the

(50:43):
research on men who do housework.
And it was very interesting.
Conclusion.
When a man made all the money,he was not inclined to help out much
at all with the housework.
When a man made half themoney, in almost all cases, he was
inclined to do half of thework around the house.
There was a sense of equitythat men have, and yet in that case,

(51:03):
women still complain.
But, yeah, he does wash thedishes, but he's not very good at
it, so I ended up having to doit again.
So there was always thecomplaint from her side.
So.
But I'm all in favor of womenlearning how to bond first.
Create romance, and then whatyou have is a man with more energy
and motivation to help outaround the house and do jobs that

(51:23):
will make her job easierbecause it's very hard.
Women come home and they havea stronger instinct of wanting beauty
in the environment.
Not all women, but most.
And therefore, things have toget done.
And typically, except for afew, unless they're compulsive disorder,
they don't have that.
I can walk home and the housecan be messy, and I don't see it.
She will see it all.
And of course, I've alwaysthought men could just trip over

(51:46):
dirt.
Some guys are just nothing.
Most guys don't care thatmuch, but they appreciate it so much.
My wife is so, so makes thishome so beautiful that I greatly
appreciate that.
And I'm glad to have a partnerwho's like that.
But again, those aredifferences in temperament and so
forth.
But the differences incommunication is where I especially

(52:07):
focus on.
And our hormonal needs are so,so completely different.
So the book Beyond Mars andVenus goes a deep dive, which you've
just heard me go through, interms of how our hormones are different
and how women need to makeenough estrogen to lower their stress.
And then a man can come alongand make enough estrogen to raise
you to the orgasmic level.

(52:28):
Not just sexually, but throughgood communication and understanding
where you're coming from, howto offer support, what he needs to
do.
But most importantly, if a mandoesn't read the book, women get
all the goods on how to gethim to do that stuff.
You can control men withoutmen feeling controlled.
Men are designed.
All my happiness primarilycomes by being able to provide for

(52:49):
my wife so she is happy.
That's the number one reasonmen will leave women.
They will always say to me, ifI can't make her happy, then logically,
what's the point?
He'll come to his logical sideas opposed to.
Fortunately, he comes to meand I say, well, let me explain why
she's not happy.
Because you're not doing whatyou need to make a woman happy.
And then he defends himself,but I make this much money and I

(53:10):
do this.
And I said, yeah, my fatherdid that for my mother, and that
was enough.
But women today are different.
They want to have a new levelof support, a level of emotional
support, romantic support, andgood communication support.
My mother didn't care about that.
She was in a different worldwhere if you had a good provider,
a good husband, and she hadseven kids, you know, she was so
grateful dad would come home.

(53:30):
He was a policeman.
You know, dad provided for her.
We lived in a niceneighborhood, so, you know, she ended
up living in heaven.
That's not the case anymore.
Women are out there strugglingjust like men.
They're stressed out.
What they need is the helpcoming back to their feminine side,
which is not stressed.
And a man can helptremendously in doing that.

(53:50):
When women learn how tocommunicate in a way that a man can
listen, and that's what thisbook provides, there's a lot of different
insights.
Understanding how she can behappy without a man and how she can
be even happier with a man.
Wow, this is really needed.
Do people find this beyondMars and Venus relationship skills

(54:11):
for our complex modern world?
Do they find that on your website?
Certainly you can buy it atAmazon and it's always in stock there.
But at my website you'll get alink to that.
And at my website there'swonderful courses.
There's one I highly recommendcalled Understanding Men that I did
with my daughter Lauren.
I edited it, she wrote it.
She's a master ofrelationships as well.

(54:31):
And she kind of speaks, shecan be a little more tougher with
women than I can because she'sa woman.
You know, I have to walkaround on ice where she's very direct
in helping women to understandmen and understand the ways they
unknowingly sabotage theirrelationships with men and how they
can get more.
And I do more at my website.
You know, I, when I would turn50 years old, I'm 73 now, I had Parkinson's

(54:53):
disease and my family membershave had that.
My younger sister died ofAlzheimer's at 60s.
You know, this is sometimesgenetics in the family.
Well, I wasn't settled for that.
I started researching afterI'm a researcher and I opened up
a wellness center, brought inall the top experts on alternative
health and I learned how toreverse my Parkinson's.

(55:14):
I don't have it at all.
And I realized the importanceof protein, pre digested proteins
for the brain.
Your brain requires aminoacids in order to function in a positive
way.
And long before I wasdiagnosed with Parkinson's, I didn't
realize I had ADD like so manypeople do.
And what I did is it not onlydid it fix my Parkinson's, it fixed

(55:35):
my add, got my brain workingwell, gave me lots of energy.
And so I give that formula for people.
I wrote a whole book about it.
It's, it's.
I no longer make thatavailable because I used to have
a series of products that Ideveloped that would do it and now
they're not available.
It just confuses people.
But if people would like freecoaching on, you know, how to optimize

(55:57):
your brain function so youknow you're feeling really good positive
feelings.
How amino acids can lower yourstress levels.
And particularly with all mywork on women's hormones, there's
wonderful products, patentedproducts out of Korea and various
places in the world where theycan proven to reduce or eliminate

(56:17):
the symptoms of menopause.
But Even after menopause, youknow how to keep everything working
right, is we get free coachingon that.
And the other thing, which is,you know, fit for dating.
A lot of single women want tostart dating and whatever.
If you don't feel that you'rebeautiful, it's really hard for a
man to think you're beautiful.
So it's important and healthy.
Healthy and beautiful.

(56:37):
So what I say for women, it'snatural for all of us to gain a little
weight as we get older.
If you can lose five or tenpounds in a few weeks, your enthusiasm
increases so much in terms offeeling beautiful because it's so
interesting just losing a few inches.
You just feel like it's the greatest.
And that's a change.
When you have power over yourbody, you don't feel powerless in

(56:58):
life.
And that's very powerful for dating.
So we provide free coachingfor women.
I don't put that on my websiteat all.
But if you go down to thebottom of the website and say, contact
us, you can ask for freewellness coaching.
Put your phone number down andwe'll contact you.
Or give us your email at thetop of the page.
I used to have 40 products onmy website.
Now there's so many peoplethat do this on.

(57:19):
I didn't.
I stick with what I'm best at.
But there's one product thatnobody talks about and that's at
the top of the page.
And I don't have time today toexplain the details of that, but
it's called Elemental Orotates.
It's something very unusualfor most people.
If you click on that one formen or one for women, it's a little
different.
It will take you to a page onAmazon that will explain in great

(57:42):
detail, but it would takeabout 10 minutes for me to explain
it.
And you know, we're justfocusing on, on relationship skills
right now.
But those two resources I findstill very, very helpful.
It's something that willprevent your brain from looping.
What happens for women is whenthey're stressed, they ruminate,
they loop again and again and again.

(58:02):
And this will stop it almostinstantly, stop it in its tracks.
And you take two capsules a day.
Then the other thing is at thebottom is contact us for free coaching
on weight loss, on hormonebalance and optimal brain function,
those things.
And just for women to know,whenever you're overwhelmed and there's
so much to do and you'rethinking about this and this and

(58:24):
this, that's female add.
Male ADD is hyper focused.
He's just sitting on thatcomputer for hours.
He can't let any newinformation to come in.
But for women, they're toowide open and they're letting too
much information come in.
And that's a female version ofadd, and that can be corrected, like
literally within weeks.
You'll notice the difference.

(58:44):
And that's what's great aboutgetting pre digestive proteins into
your system and knowing theright amount and the right times.
And there's a lot of researchon that as well.
So that's a service we provide.
I think it's so helpful for women.
You know, this is fit fordating if you want to explore that.
Wow.
You cover everything.
And I totally agree.
Nutrition's so important.
It really impacts everythingthat we do your website again, Dr.

(59:08):
Gray, people just.
Go to marsvenous.com, okay?
And women say, how can I getmy husband or my boyfriend to learn
some of this stuff?
First of all, the way I write it's.
Women have the power throughsharing their feelings the right
way and asking for help theright way to transform a man to give
you more and more and more atthe same time.

(59:30):
Once he's into the whole thingand realizes that you're happier
because you're reading mybooks or whatever, you can introduce
him to my ideas with my TEDtalk called Mars Brain, Venus Brain.
It's 20 minutes.
It's very funny, and most menthink it's amazing and then read
some of the comments.
But the comments all talkabout how great this information

(59:50):
is.
And it's good to feel thatyou're not alone.
You're part of a group that'sappreciating this.
I even have to look at that sometimes.
It's all supporting men andwomen to love each other more by
respecting our differences asopposed to thinking we should be
the same.
Amen.
We are different.
There's no getting around it.

(01:00:11):
And men have outies, womenhave innies.
Right?
I mean, it's just obvious.
Oh, my gosh.
Dr.
Gray, you are just a wealth of information.
This has just been fascinating.
I really appreciate you beingon the show.
I know Kathy does too.
Oh, my gosh.
This has been absolutely wonderful.
I mean, our listeners are justgoing to be head over heels to have

(01:00:31):
you on the show.
Thank you so much.
Yes, it is just terrific.
Thank you so much, Shelly and Kathy.
It's a pleasure talking toboth of you.
We hope you've enjoyed thislatest episode.
And if you want to hear moreepisodes of Women Road warriors or
learn more about our show, besure to check out womenroadwarriors.com
and please follow us on social media.

(01:00:53):
And don't forget to subscribeto our podcast on our website.
We also have a selection ofpodcasts just for women.
There are a series of podcastsfrom different podcasters, so if
you're in the mood for women'spodcasts, just click the Power network
tab on womenroadwarriors.comyoum'll have a variety of shows to
listen to anytime you want to.

(01:01:13):
Podcasts Made for Women WomenRoad warriors is on all the major
podcast channels like Apple,Spotify, Amazon, Audible, YouTube,
and others.
Check us out and please followus wherever you listen to podcasts.
Thanks for listening.
You've been listening to WomenRoad warriors with Shelly Johnson

(01:01:34):
and Kathy Tucaro.
If you want to be a guest onthe show or have a topic or feedback,
email us@sjohnsonomenroadwarriors.com.

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Beyond Mars & Venus - New Insight for Today from Dr. John Gray

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Beyond Mars & Venus - New Insight for Today from Dr. John Gray