February 18, 2025 • 48 mins
Have you ever met someone you thought was the perfect match, love, and soul mate but ended up discovering the person is a real dud? More people than you think seek out people who are not right for them and subconsciously choose difficult, dysfunctional, or toxic relationships. Our brains are wired to maintain the status quo even when something may not be good for us depending on our upbringing. Maybe we are blinded by the dance of love. That push and pull leads us down a deep rabbit hole.
Women frequently find themselves ensnared in relationships that ultimately prove detrimental and toxic, often believing they have encountered their perfect match. The phenomenon of selecting partners who embody dysfunction or toxicity may stem from deep-seated psychological patterns established during formative years. Renowned relationship coach Mariya Graestone details this complex dynamic, guiding women toward a profound understanding of their relationship patterns and the importance of self-love. She is the author of Becoming Secure in Love: From Push to Pull to Peace of Mind. She emphasizes the necessity of establishing healthy boundaries and nurturing inner security, which are paramount to achieving fulfilling connections. Join Shelley Johnson and Kathy Tuccaro as we engage with Mariya’s compelling insights on cultivating healthy relationships and breaking free from the cycles of dysfunction, empowering women on their journey to self-discovery and love.
https://www.facebook.com/mariya.graestone)
https://women-road-warriors.captivate.fm
https://womenroadwarriors.com/
https://www.podpage.com/women-road-warriors/
https://womenspowernetwork.net
#Relationships #Love #ToxicLove #HealthyLove #HealthyRelationships #ToxicRelationships #Women #MariyaGraestone #ShelleyJohnson #ShelleyMJohnson #KathyTuccaro #WomenRoadWarriors
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
This is Women Road warriorswith Shelly Johnson and Kathy Tucaro.
From the corporate office tothe cab of a truck, they're here
to inspire and empower womenin all professions.
So gear down, sit back and enjoy.
(00:23):
Welcome.
We're an award winning showdinner dedicated to empowering women
in every profession throughinspiring stories and expert insights.
No topics off limits.
On our show, we power women onthe road to success with expert and
celebrity interviews andinformation you need.
I'm Shelley.
And I'm Kathy.
(00:44):
Many of us have been there.
We meet someone we think isthe perfect match.
A soulmate.
That person we can spend therest of our lives with.
But sometimes we end up with areal dud.
We overlook the faults andfoibles of the other person with
the belief that we can fixthat person.
Maybe we're blinded by thedance of love.
(01:05):
That push and pull leads usdown a deep rabbit hole.
There's a better way.
Mariah Graystone shows women how.
She's a love and relationshipcoach who helps women who are ready
to break their cycle ofdifficult relationships.
Mariah helps women lovethemselves and teaches that relationships
do not define us and love is unconditional.
(01:28):
She teaches people to roottheir security from within, not from
another person.
She talks about things likebetter boundaries and unlocking love.
Since relationships define thecourse of our lives, both good and
bad, we wanted to talk toMariah so we can empower women.
Welcome, Mariah.
Thank you for being with us.
Thank you so much, Shelly and Kathy.
(01:49):
I'm delighted to be here.
This is so exciting.
Oh, my gosh.
I'm so looking forward to your insight.
You know, they say we have tokiss a lot of frogs.
And it seems from myexperience, I've kissed a lot of
lecherous and manipulativetoads who've peed on me when I picked
them up.
I'm sorry.
That's hilarious.
And it's interesting that yousay that because there's this really
(02:11):
big frog statue in Redondobeach and I have a picture of me
kissing the frog.
At the next picture, like Imade a quote about, yeah, here's
me kiss, kissing a frog,waiting for my prince.
And then the next day I putthe same picture, but now I'm kind
of holding my head and I'mlike, here's me still waiting, still
(02:32):
an ugly toad.
Oh, my gosh.
Yeah.
How do we get it wrong?
How is it that we end up withsome ugly toad that pees on us?
Oh, my.
Well, I will say that, youknow, people are imperfect and sometimes
we Just stumble across a dudnow and then.
But my focus is more when it'skind of a pattern.
(02:54):
And when we find ourselveswith duds consistently, that's just
a sign that, you know, thehuman brain likes to recreate our
formative dynamics.
And relationships are just areally powerful mirror for how we're
loving ourselves.
How do we get stuck in that rut?
It's very human nature.
(03:16):
Whatever our imprintingconveyed to us is what love looks
like.
That's what our subconsciouswill then seek out to recreate through
our romantic relationships.
Because, you know, being humanis just so delightful.
Okay, so is it rooted in our childhood?
Oh, you know, like mostthings, yes.
(03:37):
Lovely.
So if we had a really toxicchildhood, we're going to seek out
toxic relationships.
Yep.
Fortunately, though, like manyhuman impulses that are problematic,
we do have the option to kindof override them and learn how to
choose in alignment with ourvalues and goals instead of, you
(04:00):
know, operating on autopilot.
It's interesting that you say that.
Oh, sorry, Shelly.
No, that's fine.
It's because, you know, when I.
I grew up with an extremelyvolatile stepfather, and I always
swore I would never, ever bewith one with a guy like that.
And to the point where Iscreamed, you know, I was very picky
about who, who I was, I was dating.
(04:21):
I didn't date very much justfor that reason.
And it turns out the very guyI married was exactly like him, exactly
to the T.
And when I realized that, Iinstantly file for divorce.
I'm like, nope, I'm notreliving this thing.
No way.
Yeah.
It's remarkable how skilledour subconscious mind is at picking
(04:44):
up on things in people frommicro expressions, pheromones, just
manners of carryingthemselves, communication style.
And it just knows how to findthe person who will help us recreate
those formative dynamics, evenwhen consciously we're so sure we're
picking someone different.
(05:04):
So how do we override our subconscious?
I mean, that's, it's like it'sworking against us.
Yes.
And that is the million dollar question.
It's a process.
It's a healing, a healingjourney of, you know, letting our
relationship serve as a mirrorto see what, what comes up, what
(05:25):
gets triggered.
And that helps us start to getsome clarity on these patterns.
And then, honestly, coachingis a great second mirror.
You know, we can't see theback of our head without two mirrors.
And a relationship can serveas a really powerful mirror.
And coaching can help serve asthat secondary mirror to start to
bring some clarity to what'sactually going on so we can start
(05:48):
to see the forest through thetrees and find a path out.
It really is the forestthrough the trees when you think
about it.
And people don't really seewhat's happening until they're knee
deep in alligators or whatever else.
And when you talk about a mirror.
So it's a matter of what?
Seeing that thatrelationship's a reflection on what's
going on in our subconscious.
(06:09):
Is that essentially it or.
Yep, basically.
As an example for myself, myfather was not abusive, but, you
know, he tried to love me thebest he could.
And as a result, long storyshort, I ended up with a picture
in my mind that love is tryingto earn.
Like, the picture of love isme trying to earn love, not actually
(06:31):
having it.
So I'm attracted to men wholet me chase them and give me that
experience of having to kindof prove myself or feel like I'm
earning the love.
And simultaneously, I end uprejecting men who are willing to
offer love freely because thatdoesn't meet my blueprint.
So I have had to do a lot ofinner work.
(06:53):
It's been a journey andlearning how to rewire what love
is.
I've certainly encounteredthat, the chase me, chase me thing,
these high school games, like,does he love me?
He didn't call.
Why isn't he not calling?
What's going on?
This power trip that somepeople play?
(07:14):
Yep, absolutely.
And it was a really big eyeopener for me one day when I realized
that the person who I waschasing, I imagined them truly seeing
me, like, looking deeply intomy eyes and listening and asking
and wanting to really see me.
(07:35):
And in that most realisticvisioning that I had ever done, you
know, I had fantasized before,but I really tried to envision this
thing I thought I was longing for.
And in that vision, I recoiled.
I was terrified of it.
And I realized that I haveencountered dozens of men in the
(07:56):
course of my life that havebeen willing to show up and be there
and offer love.
And I was never attracted toany of them.
I was thinking the same thingafter I got.
I made that initial mentalassociation with my first husband
and my step and my stepfather.
I would have been fine, but Istarted drinking heavily.
(08:18):
And then my decision makingwent from bad to worse.
And it took me to go totherapy at the age of 40 when I had
to actually ask the counselorwhat the word boundaries meant and
what codependency meant.
It took that, and it took meto unlearn all my traditional brainwashing,
(08:38):
all my Thinking patterns, everything.
I had to reshape and redefinewho I was and relearn what.
Who Kathy was, you know, atthe age of 40.
Well, once I did that, then Iwas able to recognize the pattern.
Yep.
And it was only then that Iwas able to change what it was that,
(09:01):
that I.
If there was an attractiontowards a man that, you know, what
was attracting me, and then Icould actually question my decisions,
question my own thinking as towhat is it about this person that
is attracting, attracting me.
And I really found that thatmade a huge difference in my mate.
Like, I, I.
(09:22):
My next.
My next husband was anabsolute joy.
Like, he's just 100amazing.
But it took for me torecognize that there is a pattern,
and I had to do the hard anddirty work of figuring out what it
was.
And, and it was painful and itwas ugly.
It was not fun at all.
(09:43):
It took me a long time.
There's a lot of layers goingon in there.
You just can't just pick atthe top one.
Right.
The just like pulling weeds.
Right.
You got to get the root.
And.
And I had to go really deep inorder to change my whole thinking.
And even now, like my husband,my second husband, we split up.
It's been six years.
And in the dating process, Iam making sure of who I am allowing
(10:08):
in my space is for the right reasons.
Right.
Good.
So, Mariah, is that some ofthe steps that women need to take
a step back and really analyzethings and write down maybe what
they consider to be an idealmate and what they expect?
I think that's part of it.
And that can be some of themore surface level work, which is
(10:30):
important as well.
But a lot of the deeper levelwork involves things like reparenting
and embodiment.
We have to completelyreconfigure the relationship we have
with ourselves to start,because that's the foundation of
all of our relationships with others.
Mm.
And getting in touch with ourinner child, our young wounded self
(10:53):
who lives on in us, is areally important first step.
Um, I usually encourage peopleto actually start having conversations
with her.
And I always assure people itdoesn't make you schizophrenic.
It feels weird and silly atfirst, but it has this wonderful
(11:13):
catharsis.
Your inner child finallystarts to get to be heard, and meanwhile,
it starts to sort ofstrengthen your inner mama bear,
too.
And so you're simultaneouslynurturing and maturing yourself.
And this is a reallyfoundational part of the healing
journey.
How do you have a conversationwith your inner child?
(11:37):
You appear schizophrenic andyou say, hey there, how are you doing?
Oh, you know, I don't know,I'm kind of scared.
I'm feeling a little bitlonely and worried about this or
that and it's like, oh, okay,well, that's really understandable.
It's, you know, that makessense that you would feel that way
and you just have a back andforth and ask your inner child how
(11:58):
she's feeling and offer hersome validation and literally give
yourself a hug.
Okay.
You know, I've talked tomyself for years, since I was a kid.
I don't always listen to myown advice though.
Right, right.
It's a different kind ofconversation because you end up sort
(12:20):
of, you know, a back and forthrole play switching sides a little
bit.
Whereas the kind of day to daytalking to yourself, it's more just
like thinking out loud.
Stay tuned for more of WomenRoad warriors coming up.
Dean Michael, the tax doctor here.
(12:42):
I have one question for you.
Do you want to stop worryingabout the irs?
If the answer is yes, thenlook no further.
I've been around for years.
I've helped countless peopleacross the country and my success
rate speaks for itself.
So now you know where to findgood, honest help with your tax problems.
What are you waiting for?
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(13:02):
call me now at 888-455-7-4020or go to mytaxhelpmd.com for a free
consultation and get your life back.
Industry Movement TruckingMoves America Forward is telling
the story of the industry.
Our safety champions, thewomen of trucking, independent contractors,
the next generation oftruckers, and more.
(13:23):
Help us promote the best ofour industry.
Share your story and what youlove about trucking.
Share images of a momentyou're proud of and join us on social
media.
Learn more@truckingmovesamerica.com.
Welcome back to Women Roadwarriors with Shelly Johnson and
(13:45):
Kathy Tucaro.
If you're enjoying thisinformative episode of Women Road
Warriors, I wanted to mentionKathy and I explore all kinds of
topics that will power you onthe road to success.
We feature a lot of expertinterviews, plus we feature celebrities
and women who've been trailblazers.
Please check out ourpodcast@womenroadwarriors.com and
(14:07):
click on our Episodes page.
We're also available whereveryou listen to podcasts on all the
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Check us out and bookmark our podcast.
Also, don't forget to followus on social media.
We're on Twitter, Facebook,Instagram, Pinterest, LinkedIn, YouTube
(14:28):
and other sites.
And tell others about us.
We want to help as many womenas possible.
Relationships are a powerfulmirror about how we're loving ourselves.
That means both bad and good relationships.
Our early imprinting on whatlove looks like is what our subconscious
seeks out to recreate thoseformative dynamics throughout our
lives.
(14:48):
If it's bad, it doesn't haveto stay that way.
As a relationship coach,Mariah Graystone helps women see
the forest through the treesand find a path out of a toxic relationship.
It's a matter of womenreconfiguring their relationships
with themselves.
She teaches them how to findand nurture healthy relationships.
Mariah helps them get clarityon bad patterns.
(15:11):
She talks about things likebetter boundaries and unlocking love
and how women can root theirsecurity from within.
It's a journey that requiresinner work.
Mariah is a wonderful guide onthis journey.
She's a highly sought afterlove coach that helps people break
free from difficult relationships.
Mariah so I'm trying to thinkfor listeners to get the best grasp
(15:35):
of what you're talking about.
How do they define a toxic relationship?
Because I'm sure it'sdifferent for everyone and there
are different levels of toxic relationships.
How do they know they're inone and how do they see that mirror
is cracked?
I would say that if you don'tknow that you're in a toxic relationship,
(15:56):
now's not the time to addressit because it kind of has to get
painful enough for you to bemotivated to address it, for the
addressing it to be effective.
And unfortunately, this is alittle bit of a sidebar, but we can
do some harm to our friends insome cases where we try to convince
(16:19):
them that they're in a toxicrelationship and they don't see it
because we just end upalienating them and often driving
them closer to the toxic person.
I found when I was in adysfunctional relationship, I don't
really like the word toxic,but I was in a difficult relationship
and some friends at the timewere seeing some red flags that I
(16:39):
wasn't quite seeing and theywere trying to tell me things that
I would also see out, youknow, on social media and whatnot.
And there's this common themeout there that you know is like,
know your worth, ditch the loser.
Get with someone who deservesyour love.
And while this isn't exactlywrong, the approach there can be
(16:59):
problematic on a few different levels.
Know your worth can comeacross like you're doing it wrong.
Like if you're already feelingunworthy and then having somebody
tell you that you're not evenloving yourself.
Right.
That can kind of deepen the problem.
And then the ditch the loseraspect also then starts to plant
(17:19):
seeds of doubt in yourselfbecause your heart is telling you
that you love this person andother people are telling you that
you shouldn't.
And so that's sowing seeds ofdoubt rather than self trust.
And then get with someone whodeserves your love also reinforces
this fear that under certaincircumstances, we night might not
(17:40):
be deserving of love.
So my message that I am a hugeadvocate for is we don't have to
sacrifice our compassion inorder to become empowered.
If we empower our compassion,it will become big enough for ourselves
as well as others.
I like that.
(18:01):
You know, there's a lot ofwomen who end up being stuck in relationships
and they may recognize thatit's dysfunctional, but they may
have children and theirfinancial resources, they stay.
It's the security.
It's better than being, say,on the street.
They rationalize it in theirminds or it may even be a case of
(18:23):
like Stockholm syndrome.
Yes.
And they can't break away,even though deep down they know this
is not good.
In, in cases where it seems toborderline Stockholm syndrome, I
would recommend therapy.
In cases where you're reallytruly wanting to get out, but believing
(18:49):
that you have to stay for thechildren and, or believing that the
finances are the biggesthindrance, I would say to that, that.
Well, actually I had a friendwho was in that situation for years.
I watched her complain and Iwould, you know, support her and
(19:12):
say, yep, I know you're right, it's.
It's awful.
You have some options.
I understand why you'returning them down, but.
And I would just listen to herand support her.
And I a few times told herthat when it gets painful enough,
she'll find a way.
And sure enough, it did.
There was actually a littlebit of a catalyst involved.
Her father passed away andthat really helped her have appreciation
(19:36):
for the impermanence of life.
And she decided that she wasdone and the universe brought resources
to her.
One of her neighbors isleaving for a year and invited her
to pet sit.
And so now she gets to live ina separate space right across the
street.
So the child can very easilygo between the homes and it's not
(19:58):
costing her anything extra.
And in the meantime, she isable to start pursuing her dreams
that she has been just not hadthe resources, like internal resources
to devote to.
And now that she has some morespace from the difficult relationship,
she's feeling more invigoratedand feels like the world is opening
(20:20):
up for her.
And sometimes it's not a sexymessage, but sometimes we just have
to wait until it gets painful enough.
And that's with a caveat ofsaying, as long as you're not in
actual physical harm, sure.
She's actually discoveringherself without that person.
Because in.
In these kind ofrelationships, you lose yourself.
(20:42):
Yeah.
But there's signs and symptomsof relationships that aren't healthy.
Yeah.
And can you just maybe name afew for people that don't really
maybe.
Aren'T aware of what theyshould be.
Kind of watching out?
For?
Sure.
(21:03):
Well, there are some universalthings that I could talk about in
terms of, you know, feelinglike you're losing yourself or feeling
isolated from your friends, orfeeling like you're never really
able to pursue your dreams or.
(21:25):
John Gottman has the fourhorsemen of the relational apocalypse.
I know one of them iscontempt, another is stonewalling.
I don't recall the other two,but those are also some good indications
of problems in the relationship.
But for me, what I think isreally helpful and a little bit more
(21:46):
easy to identify and make itmore personal is write out a list
of your core values and grand goals.
And by that I mean values canbe things like connection, integrity,
etc.
And I think if you come upwith about, there's a lot of them
(22:08):
and we all resonate with mostof them.
But if you can kind of pickyour top five, this can help with
like a compass heading andthen your goals.
We might have a lot of meansgoals, but our end goals usually
are in terms of growthexperiences and contributions.
What ways we want to grow inlife, what experiences we want to
(22:30):
have, the ways that we want tocontribute to the world or even just
our family or community.
Um, so when you have someclarity on your values and goals,
you can start to notice whenyou're out of alignment with those.
And to bring the practice evendeeper, when you develop a relationship
(22:52):
with your body, and I don'tjust mean body image, but like bringing
your awareness into your bodyand feeling the sensations in your
body and recognizing whatfeels like alignment with your truth,
what feels good versus anxious.
And then you can start tonotice when you feel out of alignment
(23:16):
and when you have some clarityon those things, you can start to
develop instead of kind ofwhat you're talking about with external
red flags, you can start tonotice your internal red Flags.
And for me a big one is defensiveness.
Like it's one thing to explainyourself, especially to someone new.
Oh right, you don't know me.
(23:37):
Sorry that you need some more context.
Let me explain that better.
But when I find myselfdefending like my choices or my meaning
or my goodness, that's a redflag for me.
It's not something that comesup in all of my interactions.
There are plenty ofrelationships I have, friendships,
(23:57):
people in my life where Idon't feel like I need to defend
myself.
Those are safe relationshipsin connections where that behavior
is coming out of me.
That's how I know thatconnection is not aligned for me.
So all of that to say thatwhen you're in a relationship, if
you are feeling anxious, ifyou're finding yourself defending
yourself.
Some other internal red flagsfor me are a sense of urgency or
(24:20):
fantasy.
All of these types of thingscan help you notice when you're out
of alignment.
And any relationship whereeither person is out of alignment
is doomed to fail.
You need to be very aware ofall of these things.
And I think a lot of people dogo into autopilot and they aren't
necessarily aware of howthey're truly feeling.
(24:41):
Also when they first meetsomeone, they get caught up in that
infatuation period wherehormones are raging and that sort
of thing.
Gee, then that's never a goodbarometer or navigation.
That's a bad gps.
At a minimum, learning tonotice when you're dysregulated and
(25:01):
knowing that when you'redysregulated you can't really trust
yourself, that's a great start.
Yeah, I think that if peoplearen't aware, they can be drawn like
a moth to a flame to the sametype of person and they don't realize
it and they wonder, gee, whydidn't this guy or this woman work
out what, what is going on?
Yep, it's honestly, I thinkthe most foundational, beneficial
(25:26):
practice for anyone in anysort of personal development is an
awareness practice.
And there's a secondaryelement that is required in an awareness
practice and that's non judgment.
When we start to becomeincreasingly aware of ourselves,
we're going to start to noticea lot more dumb things that we're
(25:49):
doing.
And it's.
There's going to be aninclination to judge ourselves for
that.
And judgment has a reallypowerful knack for actually keeping
those patterns in place.
And so learning that sort ofself compassion is a really important
part of the practice as well.
(26:10):
And yeah, just strengtheningour awareness about what we're doing.
And why we're doing it and howit's showing up without judgment.
It has a really magicallytransformative effect in our lives.
Stay tuned for more of WomenRoad warriors coming up.
(26:33):
Dean Michael, the tax doctor here.
I have one question for you.
Do you want to stop worryingabout the irs?
If the answer is yes, thenlook no further.
I've been around for years,I've helped countless people across
the country, and my successrate speaks for itself.
So now you know where to findgood, honest help with your tax problems.
What are you waiting for?
If you owe more than $10,000to the IRS or haven't filed in years,
(26:55):
call me now at 888-557-4020 orgo to mytaxhelpmd.com for a free
consultation and get your life back.
Industry Movement TruckingMoves America Forward is telling
the story of the industry.
Our safety champions, theWomen of trucking, independent contractors,
the Next generation oftruckers, and more help us promote
(27:17):
the best of our industry.
Share your story and what youlove about trucking.
Share images of a momentyou're proud of and join us on social
media.
Learn more@truckingmovesamerica.com.
Welcome welcome back to WomenRoad warriors with Shelly Johnson
(27:38):
and Kathy Tucaro.
It's important to know yourself worth when you're in a relationship.
Sometimes it's hard to do whenwe give ourselves mixed messages
and rationalizations.
The problem is too, when youhave friends telling you to ditch
the loser, it can actuallyencourage self doubt depending on
(27:59):
our own self worth.
Getting with someone whodeserves our love often triggers
feelings that we're notworthy, so we choose people who aren't
good for us.
There are many reasons whypeople stay in a difficult relationship
or choose partners like that.
Our self worth is somethingthat we need to attain and protect
when we aren't in a healthy relationship.
We need to be compassionatewith ourselves as we do a deep dive
(28:22):
into why these are some of thethings Mariah Graystone talks about.
She's a love and relationshipcoach who helps women who are ready
to break their cycle ofdifficult relationships.
One of the books she's writtensays it all about the rebirth that
she offers with the titleBecoming Secure in From Push to Pull
to Peace of Mind.
Mariah teaches women how tolove themselves and that relationships
(28:45):
do not define us and love is unconditional.
She teaches women to roottheir security from within, not from
another person.
She also talks about thingslike having better boundaries and
unlocking love and how torecognize dysfunctional relationships.
Mariah recommends to write outa list of our core values and grand
goals.
(29:05):
Pick the top five to give us acompass heading for direction.
When we have clarity on ourvalues and goals, we'll start to
notice.
When we're out of alignmentwith the people we choose to have
in our lives, we'll begin tonotice our internal red flags.
These would include thingslike anxiety or defensiveness, which
would indicate maybe it's nota safe relationship.
(29:26):
That's part of a vitalawareness practice that also includes
self compassion without judgment.
These are just some of thevaluable insights Mariah has been
sharing with us.
Mariah, so you're teachingwomen courage and trusting their
intuition and really gettingto know themselves, which perhaps
they didn't have theopportunity to do as a child.
(29:48):
Women, I think more so aretaught to nurture and to care for.
And we can take that over thetop with, oh gosh, this guy's broken
or this woman's broken, Igotta fix this.
And that's really where we runastray, right?
Absolutely.
In a lot of these instances,these women were brought up, and
(30:13):
men too.
There's a lot of formativedynamics that led the child to believe
that they were responsible fortheir caregivers.
Stability.
Happiness is almost too strong.
They just felt responsible fortheir caregivers to be okay so that
(30:33):
they could be okay.
And that's where that rescuerfixer pattern comes out.
And then we seek out peoplewho we can rescue so that it completes
that picture that oursubconscious is seeking to recreate.
It's exhausting to do thatsort of thing.
And it really throws somebodyoff track of who they're supposed
(30:55):
to be in the world.
Yeah.
And even though it'sexhausting, funny thing about the
human brain is that it is, itis wired to maintain the status quo.
Because if that path didn'thave a saber toothed tiger on it
yesterday, even though it wasfull of brambles, it didn't kill
(31:17):
us.
So why try a new one thatmight kill us?
Let's just stick with the onethat didn't kill us.
That's kind of theevolutionary reasoning behind it,
but essentially how we grew up.
If that goddess, if it, if wedidn't die in childhood, whatever
happened, you know, to get usto adulthood, the very primal part
(31:37):
of the brain is like, let'sjust keep doing that.
And a lot of people end upwith a nervous system that is calibrated
on sort of high activity.
And so even though it's kindof exhausting, it's what's comfortable
to the nervous system, eventhough it's not overall comfortable
(31:58):
or safe or joyful and thebrain thinks like it prioritizes
the an uncomfortablefamiliarity over the discomfort of
something new.
So even though it's reallyexhausting to always be saving people,
it's really uncomfortable tobreak through that and do things
(32:23):
differently.
You get some very excellentinsights here.
It's very empowering for women.
You've got two books actuallythat are available on Amazon.
One's Becoming Secure in LoveFrom Push and Pull to Peace of Mind.
And you also have a selfguided workbook called the Path to
Interdependence.
I love this.
(32:43):
So people can pick this up andthey can read it.
And you also have informationavailable on your website.
It looks like you do retreatsand workshops.
Could you touch on some of this?
I'm seeing some reallypowerful topics.
Better Boundaries UnlockingLove, Peaceful Power Practice and
of course self love, which Ithink a lot of us are guilty, especially
(33:04):
women.
We don't love ourselves enough.
Nope.
If I could, I would just runaround telling everybody that the
solution is self love, but itdoesn't really land as the problem
for people.
So this is why I actuallyfocus on relationships.
The truth is it's.
It's all like so many of ourproblems in life get resolved when
(33:26):
we fix the relationship with ourself.
But a lot of people feel thepain point in their relationships
with others.
So that's why I frame a lot ofmy offerings around addressing those
issues.
But I actually talk verylittle about it.
And I have been focused a loton boundaries because that seems
(33:46):
to really be speaking topeople and because it's.
I, I don't know why, butthere's not much actually helpful
information out there abouthow to develop healthy boundaries.
There's a lot of talk outthere about kind of what they look
like, but not about how to getfrom point A to point B.
(34:07):
It's very true.
And it's a catch all term.
It's just kind of a popularterm, you know, poor boundaries.
You know, people are like,what does that mean?
Do I put up an electric fence?
What the heck are you talking about?
Right?
Yeah, yeah.
And the funny thing you sayabout electric fence.
I the, the terms that I use todefine what most people's boundaries
look like are flimsy fencesand spiked walls.
(34:30):
Okay.
There are people that say, oh,I don't have boundaries, or that
person doesn't have boundaries.
But in reality we all do have boundaries.
They just look different.
Our boundaries are essentiallythe limits of our precious resources.
And if we have flimsy fences.
That's when people say, oh,you let people walk all over you.
(34:50):
Or you might feel like you'rebeing used a lot, or you say yes
too often, or you're reallyuncomfortable saying no.
And then on the flip side,there's these spiked walls where
no sounds like f you and.
Or you're just completely inaccessible.
And part of the reason thatthose are the two common options
is that most people think thatthose are the only two options.
(35:13):
And so if you're, you know,afraid to hurt people, you're gonna
have flimsy fences until youget walked over enough that you,
like, spring the spiked wallsup and you're like, ah, that's enough.
Go away.
Leave me alone.
But you've been trying toavoid that the whole time because
you thought that those werethe only two options.
You thought that saying no wasautomatically gonna be hurtful.
And then the people who havethe spiked walls, like, as a default,
(35:35):
they do that because theythink the only alternative is never
saying no.
There is an alternative.
The middle way, I callselective gates.
And this is where you canlearn to say no without disconnecting.
You can follow a no with a yes.
You can draw your boundariesaround behaviors instead of people.
(35:57):
And there are so manybeautiful ways to let boundaries
actually deepen intimacy andconnection in your relationships.
And it's all an outcome ofthis same healing work that roots
our security within ourselvesand builds a strong foundation in
ourselves of self, love andempowering our compassion.
(36:20):
I love that.
So you can actually walkpeople through the steps.
Because if somebody is notused to putting up boundaries, healthy
boundaries, they have no clueon how to do it.
No clue.
Yes.
I actually offer a six.
I'd say six to eight weeks,because as it turns out, sometimes
we end up having to skip aweek or two.
(36:40):
But it's a six session, one onone course, journey supported program
that I call Better Boundaries.
I love this.
Now, do you work with people remotely?
Can they do this via Zoom orsomething like that?
Yep, that's that preference.
Okay, excellent.
You could be anywhere in thecountry, anywhere in the world.
Yep.
And still partake of your vastknowledge, which is you're helping
(37:04):
a lot of women.
This is terrific.
Thank you.
Yep.
And then for a deeper dive, Ihave a Unlocking Love course.
It's a group program, and thatone is 12 weeks.
And we talk a lot about thesame stuff.
We just break it down even further.
So these are actually somecourses people could take.
Maybe start with the betterboundaries, then go to unlocking
(37:25):
Love to Really go through the process.
Because self love is aprocess, isn't it?
Yes, indeed it is.
It's a journey.
Yeah.
It doesn't happen overnight.
It doesn't change overnight.
There's a lot of layers, likeI was saying earlier to uncovering
who you really are, you know,And I think what you're doing is
(37:48):
absolutely phenomenal becausethere's so many ladies out there
who, who, who are looking forthat assistance because it's not
always easy to do it on yourown, you know?
Yeah.
Nope.
And thank you for, foreverything that you're doing.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
And I want to give a thank youalso to anyone listening for whatever
ways that you're showing upfor yourself.
(38:10):
My mission is to empowercompassion in as many souls as I
can.
I want there to be more lovein the world.
And every instance of showingup for yourself brings more love
into the world.
Wouldn't that be wonderful?
There is so much division andanger and hatred and violence.
Love is the antithesis of that.
(38:30):
Absolutely.
I do like to say love is unconditional.
Relationships are not.
That's what boundaries are for.
Yes.
I love this.
I saw that on your website.
Those are words to live by.
Agreed.
I think one of the traps wefall into a lot is forgetting that
love and relationship is notthe same thing.
Yeah, yeah.
(38:53):
It's something that we do.
But you can love someone andleave them simultaneously.
Yeah.
Love is a verb.
You're right.
And yes, you can still lovesomebody but leave them because you
have to love yourself too.
Absolutely.
That's a tough one to do.
You know, you really do feellike you're on a teeter totter.
And a lot of times I thinkwomen have a hard time breaking away
(39:16):
and showing up for themselves.
Absolutely, I did.
That difficult relationship Iwas in lasted seven years.
And the last year of it, Ipainstakingly, single handedly, consciously
uncoupled us because I startedto realize that it was never going
(39:38):
to be functional.
It took me a long time tothrow everything and the kitchen
sink at it so that I felt likeI had given it everything I could.
And once I reached that point,I was like, okay, it's, it's not
going to work.
And one of the things that Ireally had to overcome was some shame
about feeling like I was weak,that I couldn't make it work.
(40:00):
And what I eventually had todo is just accept the fact that I
am a limited human and thatthis had brought me up to my limits
and that if I couldn't lovemyself in it, I couldn't really love
him either.
And the most loving thing Icould do was really accept him for
who he was and where he was atand what he was capable of and fully
(40:21):
accept me and where I was atand what I was capable of.
And when I looked at that, Isaw that a healthy relationship was
never gonna be possible.
That's powerful.
Yeah.
I think a lot of people areheld back, too, because they don't
want to view themselves asfailures, and they also don't want
the loss.
I mean, even if you get rid ofa relationship that's bad for you,
there's still going to be thatgrieving that loss.
(40:44):
Yep.
And then I'm sure someone elsewill relate to me on this, too.
There's also the fear of, oh,God, now I have to go back and start
over, and my sympathies toanyone in the dating pool.
It is.
It is challenging.
I will say one of the nicethings about being more mature is,
(41:04):
you know, it takes a coupledecades to start to notice our patterns.
I know that a lot of womenfeel a little bit of shame for saying,
oh, I'm.
I'm in my 40s, I'm in my 50s,and it took me this long to realize.
And honestly, you.
You couldn't see it when youwere younger because it had only
happened once or twice.
And it sometimes has to happenthree, four, or five times before
(41:26):
we say, okay, this is a pattern.
Now I see it.
Yeah, it's true.
You have to have some sage and wisdom.
Exactly.
You know, that's why we haveparents growing up.
And hopefully they are.
They do healthy parenting, butthey have some wisdom.
Hopefully we don't have wisdomas children, even though we think
we do.
Oh, yeah.
(41:47):
And teenage adolescence, it'samazing how we think we know everything
once those hormones startraging so much.
I remember thinking, wow, myparents knew nothing about, you know,
the birds and the bees.
Heck, how did I get here?
Yeah, they did.
But teenagers think thatthey've reinvented the world.
(42:08):
Well.
And then the fun thing is,there's a lot of that.
Whatever mechanisms we developin our grand wisdom in adolescence,
we tend to keep with us andcontinue to believe in the soundness
of them without ever stoppingto reassess the.
(42:30):
The tools and the beliefs andthe sort of frameworks that we carry
into our lives.
Very true.
So this is all very much a.
You know, we, we talkedearlier about how it's a journey,
this developing self love andthis healing process.
And I also like to say that it's.
It's a It's a lifestyle change.
(42:51):
The same way they talk about,you know, like the sustainable diets
aren't like fad diets.
They're not temporary things.
You have to completely change,you know, make it a part of your
lifestyle to healthy living.
And in the same way, we haveto start to develop lying like lifelong
habits to put into place tosupport our self love and our self
(43:15):
care and our.
Isn't that the truth?
Yeah.
Yes.
Conscious work, conscious efforts.
Yeah.
Because we tend to slip intoold habits real fast.
I'm speaking from personal experience.
Yeah.
I have to consciously makethat effort to, to keep my yoga,
to keep my time, the Kathytime that's so valuable to me because
it's so easy for, for me tomake 10,000 excuses of other things
(43:38):
that I had I have to do.
But I'm like, nope, you justget up and you get out there, girl,
you first.
Absolutely.
And this is actually acounterpart to re parenting.
Well, it's another aspect ofre parenting.
So on the one hand it takes alot of self validation, but on the
other hand it also takes a lotof boundaries with ourselves.
Like a lot of times we let ourinner child have all of the candy
(44:02):
instead of say, okay, I hear you.
I understand that you wantmore candy and I understand that's
a little disappointing.
You can't have all the candy,but we're not going to eat all the
candy.
Very well said.
Mariah, you also havesomething about Peaceful Power Practice
that you teach women as well.
And then of course, your selflove retreats and workshops.
(44:22):
This is really a wonderfulsupport system for women so they
can start at the beginning andwork their way through, which really
gives them a healthy lifegoing forward.
Absolutely.
And the Peaceful PowerPractice is actually a virtual ashram
where you.
There's daily posts forjournal prompts and you just comment
(44:43):
your thoughts on it.
There's not reallyinteraction, but then there's monthly
group coaching calls.
And it's just a little anchorto keep you checking in with yourself,
keep you aware of yourprogress and help build those healthy
habits and support thosehealthy habits on an ongoing basis.
And it was inspired by whathad evolved into my own practice
(45:06):
that was really supporting me.
And I started calling it myPeaceful Power Practice.
And really there's kind offive main elements.
It's study, self reflection,embodiment interactions and support.
Journaling is a big aspect of that.
Making sure that you've gotpeople in your life who you trust,
(45:29):
who you feel safe with, Sageguides as well, and deepening that
connection with your body.
And using the opportunities ofyour interactions with other people
and the triggers that come upand paying attention to what those
are trying to present to you.
All of that can really becomea lifestyle habit to help perpetuate
(45:52):
and support your ongoing growth.
That's empowering.
Where do women find you?
My website is love coachmariah.com and my name is spelled
M A R I Y A and I also amcurrently posting a lot on my personal
Facebook.
So Mariah Graystone Again, M AR I Y A and it's G R A E S T O N
(46:20):
E.
I'm open to any sort ofconnections and any sort of work
that we do together willalways start with a free call to
make sure that it's a goodmutual fit.
And I'm flexible about, youknow, finding something that works
for both of us.
So this is wonderful.
And people can pick up yourbook on Amazon.
You have two of them becomingsecure in love from push and pull
(46:41):
to peace of mind as well asyour self guided workbook which is
the past to interdependence.
That's excellent Mariah.
I love your insights.
You are going to empower somany women down the road.
Thank you.
I hope so.
That's what it's about andthat's what we need.
Being champions for ourselvesand having champions in our own lives
(47:01):
too.
Absolutely.
Thank you for sharing yourwisdom with us.
No, thank you so much.
Oh my God.
So many ladies are going toget benefit from this.
I sure hope so.
Yes.
We hope you've enjoyed thislatest episode.
And if you want to hear moreepisodes of Women Road warriors or
learn more about our show, besure to check out womenroadwarriors.com
(47:24):
and please follow us on social media.
And don't forget to subscribeto our podcast on our website.
We also have a selection ofpodcasts Just for Women.
They're a series of podcastsfrom different podcasters.
So if you're in the mood forwomen's podcasts, just click the
Power network tab onwomenroadwarriors.com youm'll have
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(47:47):
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Check us out and please followus wherever you listen to podcasts.
Thanks for listening.
You've been listening to WomenRoad warriors with Shelly Johnson
(48:08):
and Kathy Takaro.
If you want to be a guest onthe show or have a topic or feedback,
email us@sjohnsonomenroadwarriors.com.
This is Women Road warriorswith Shelly Johnson and Kathy Tucaro.
From the corporate office tothe cab of a truck, they're here
to inspire and empower womenin all professions.
So gear down, sit back and enjoy.
(00:23):
Welcome.
We're an award winning showdinner dedicated to empowering women
in every profession throughinspiring stories and expert insights.
No topics off limits.
On our show, we power women onthe road to success with expert and
celebrity interviews andinformation you need.
I'm Shelley.
And I'm Kathy.
(00:44):
Many of us have been there.
We meet someone we think isthe perfect match.
A soulmate.
That person we can spend therest of our lives with.
But sometimes we end up with areal dud.
We overlook the faults andfoibles of the other person with
the belief that we can fixthat person.
Maybe we're blinded by thedance of love.
(01:05):
That push and pull leads usdown a deep rabbit hole.
There's a better way.
Mariah Graystone shows women how.
She's a love and relationshipcoach who helps women who are ready
to break their cycle ofdifficult relationships.
Mariah helps women lovethemselves and teaches that relationships
do not define us and love is unconditional.
(01:28):
She teaches people to roottheir security from within, not from
another person.
She talks about things likebetter boundaries and unlocking love.
Since relationships define thecourse of our lives, both good and
bad, we wanted to talk toMariah so we can empower women.
Welcome, Mariah.
Thank you for being with us.
Thank you so much, Shelly and Kathy.
(01:49):
I'm delighted to be here.
This is so exciting.
Oh, my gosh.
I'm so looking forward to your insight.
You know, they say we have tokiss a lot of frogs.
And it seems from myexperience, I've kissed a lot of
lecherous and manipulativetoads who've peed on me when I picked
them up.
I'm sorry.
That's hilarious.
And it's interesting that yousay that because there's this really
(02:11):
big frog statue in Redondobeach and I have a picture of me
kissing the frog.
At the next picture, like Imade a quote about, yeah, here's
me kiss, kissing a frog,waiting for my prince.
And then the next day I putthe same picture, but now I'm kind
of holding my head and I'mlike, here's me still waiting, still
(02:32):
an ugly toad.
Oh, my gosh.
Yeah.
How do we get it wrong?
How is it that we end up withsome ugly toad that pees on us?
Oh, my.
Well, I will say that, youknow, people are imperfect and sometimes
we Just stumble across a dudnow and then.
But my focus is more when it'skind of a pattern.
(02:54):
And when we find ourselveswith duds consistently, that's just
a sign that, you know, thehuman brain likes to recreate our
formative dynamics.
And relationships are just areally powerful mirror for how we're
loving ourselves.
How do we get stuck in that rut?
It's very human nature.
(03:16):
Whatever our imprintingconveyed to us is what love looks
like.
That's what our subconsciouswill then seek out to recreate through
our romantic relationships.
Because, you know, being humanis just so delightful.
Okay, so is it rooted in our childhood?
Oh, you know, like mostthings, yes.
(03:37):
Lovely.
So if we had a really toxicchildhood, we're going to seek out
toxic relationships.
Yep.
Fortunately, though, like manyhuman impulses that are problematic,
we do have the option to kindof override them and learn how to
choose in alignment with ourvalues and goals instead of, you
(04:00):
know, operating on autopilot.
It's interesting that you say that.
Oh, sorry, Shelly.
No, that's fine.
It's because, you know, when I.
I grew up with an extremelyvolatile stepfather, and I always
swore I would never, ever bewith one with a guy like that.
And to the point where Iscreamed, you know, I was very picky
about who, who I was, I was dating.
(04:21):
I didn't date very much justfor that reason.
And it turns out the very guyI married was exactly like him, exactly
to the T.
And when I realized that, Iinstantly file for divorce.
I'm like, nope, I'm notreliving this thing.
No way.
Yeah.
It's remarkable how skilledour subconscious mind is at picking
(04:44):
up on things in people frommicro expressions, pheromones, just
manners of carryingthemselves, communication style.
And it just knows how to findthe person who will help us recreate
those formative dynamics, evenwhen consciously we're so sure we're
picking someone different.
(05:04):
So how do we override our subconscious?
I mean, that's, it's like it'sworking against us.
Yes.
And that is the million dollar question.
It's a process.
It's a healing, a healingjourney of, you know, letting our
relationship serve as a mirrorto see what, what comes up, what
(05:25):
gets triggered.
And that helps us start to getsome clarity on these patterns.
And then, honestly, coachingis a great second mirror.
You know, we can't see theback of our head without two mirrors.
And a relationship can serveas a really powerful mirror.
And coaching can help serve asthat secondary mirror to start to
bring some clarity to what'sactually going on so we can start
(05:48):
to see the forest through thetrees and find a path out.
It really is the forestthrough the trees when you think
about it.
And people don't really seewhat's happening until they're knee
deep in alligators or whatever else.
And when you talk about a mirror.
So it's a matter of what?
Seeing that thatrelationship's a reflection on what's
going on in our subconscious.
(06:09):
Is that essentially it or.
Yep, basically.
As an example for myself, myfather was not abusive, but, you
know, he tried to love me thebest he could.
And as a result, long storyshort, I ended up with a picture
in my mind that love is tryingto earn.
Like, the picture of love isme trying to earn love, not actually
(06:31):
having it.
So I'm attracted to men wholet me chase them and give me that
experience of having to kindof prove myself or feel like I'm
earning the love.
And simultaneously, I end uprejecting men who are willing to
offer love freely because thatdoesn't meet my blueprint.
So I have had to do a lot ofinner work.
(06:53):
It's been a journey andlearning how to rewire what love
is.
I've certainly encounteredthat, the chase me, chase me thing,
these high school games, like,does he love me?
He didn't call.
Why isn't he not calling?
What's going on?
This power trip that somepeople play?
(07:14):
Yep, absolutely.
And it was a really big eyeopener for me one day when I realized
that the person who I waschasing, I imagined them truly seeing
me, like, looking deeply intomy eyes and listening and asking
and wanting to really see me.
(07:35):
And in that most realisticvisioning that I had ever done, you
know, I had fantasized before,but I really tried to envision this
thing I thought I was longing for.
And in that vision, I recoiled.
I was terrified of it.
And I realized that I haveencountered dozens of men in the
(07:56):
course of my life that havebeen willing to show up and be there
and offer love.
And I was never attracted toany of them.
I was thinking the same thingafter I got.
I made that initial mentalassociation with my first husband
and my step and my stepfather.
I would have been fine, but Istarted drinking heavily.
(08:18):
And then my decision makingwent from bad to worse.
And it took me to go totherapy at the age of 40 when I had
to actually ask the counselorwhat the word boundaries meant and
what codependency meant.
It took that, and it took meto unlearn all my traditional brainwashing,
(08:38):
all my Thinking patterns, everything.
I had to reshape and redefinewho I was and relearn what.
Who Kathy was, you know, atthe age of 40.
Well, once I did that, then Iwas able to recognize the pattern.
Yep.
And it was only then that Iwas able to change what it was that,
(09:01):
that I.
If there was an attractiontowards a man that, you know, what
was attracting me, and then Icould actually question my decisions,
question my own thinking as towhat is it about this person that
is attracting, attracting me.
And I really found that thatmade a huge difference in my mate.
Like, I, I.
(09:22):
My next.
My next husband was anabsolute joy.
Like, he's just 100amazing.
But it took for me torecognize that there is a pattern,
and I had to do the hard anddirty work of figuring out what it
was.
And, and it was painful and itwas ugly.
It was not fun at all.
(09:43):
It took me a long time.
There's a lot of layers goingon in there.
You just can't just pick atthe top one.
Right.
The just like pulling weeds.
Right.
You got to get the root.
And.
And I had to go really deep inorder to change my whole thinking.
And even now, like my husband,my second husband, we split up.
It's been six years.
And in the dating process, Iam making sure of who I am allowing
(10:08):
in my space is for the right reasons.
Right.
Good.
So, Mariah, is that some ofthe steps that women need to take
a step back and really analyzethings and write down maybe what
they consider to be an idealmate and what they expect?
I think that's part of it.
And that can be some of themore surface level work, which is
(10:30):
important as well.
But a lot of the deeper levelwork involves things like reparenting
and embodiment.
We have to completelyreconfigure the relationship we have
with ourselves to start,because that's the foundation of
all of our relationships with others.
Mm.
And getting in touch with ourinner child, our young wounded self
(10:53):
who lives on in us, is areally important first step.
Um, I usually encourage peopleto actually start having conversations
with her.
And I always assure people itdoesn't make you schizophrenic.
It feels weird and silly atfirst, but it has this wonderful
(11:13):
catharsis.
Your inner child finallystarts to get to be heard, and meanwhile,
it starts to sort ofstrengthen your inner mama bear,
too.
And so you're simultaneouslynurturing and maturing yourself.
And this is a reallyfoundational part of the healing
journey.
How do you have a conversationwith your inner child?
(11:37):
You appear schizophrenic andyou say, hey there, how are you doing?
Oh, you know, I don't know,I'm kind of scared.
I'm feeling a little bitlonely and worried about this or
that and it's like, oh, okay,well, that's really understandable.
It's, you know, that makessense that you would feel that way
and you just have a back andforth and ask your inner child how
(11:58):
she's feeling and offer hersome validation and literally give
yourself a hug.
Okay.
You know, I've talked tomyself for years, since I was a kid.
I don't always listen to myown advice though.
Right, right.
It's a different kind ofconversation because you end up sort
(12:20):
of, you know, a back and forthrole play switching sides a little
bit.
Whereas the kind of day to daytalking to yourself, it's more just
like thinking out loud.
Stay tuned for more of WomenRoad warriors coming up.
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Our safety champions, thewomen of trucking, independent contractors,
the next generation oftruckers, and more.
(13:23):
Help us promote the best ofour industry.
Share your story and what youlove about trucking.
Share images of a momentyou're proud of and join us on social
media.
Learn more@truckingmovesamerica.com.
Welcome back to Women Roadwarriors with Shelly Johnson and
(13:45):
Kathy Tucaro.
If you're enjoying thisinformative episode of Women Road
Warriors, I wanted to mentionKathy and I explore all kinds of
topics that will power you onthe road to success.
We feature a lot of expertinterviews, plus we feature celebrities
and women who've been trailblazers.
Please check out ourpodcast@womenroadwarriors.com and
(14:07):
click on our Episodes page.
We're also available whereveryou listen to podcasts on all the
major podcast channels likeSpotify, Apple, YouTube, Amazon,
Music, Audible, you name it.
Check us out and bookmark our podcast.
Also, don't forget to followus on social media.
We're on Twitter, Facebook,Instagram, Pinterest, LinkedIn, YouTube
(14:28):
and other sites.
And tell others about us.
We want to help as many womenas possible.
Relationships are a powerfulmirror about how we're loving ourselves.
That means both bad and good relationships.
Our early imprinting on whatlove looks like is what our subconscious
seeks out to recreate thoseformative dynamics throughout our
lives.
(14:48):
If it's bad, it doesn't haveto stay that way.
As a relationship coach,Mariah Graystone helps women see
the forest through the treesand find a path out of a toxic relationship.
It's a matter of womenreconfiguring their relationships
with themselves.
She teaches them how to findand nurture healthy relationships.
Mariah helps them get clarityon bad patterns.
(15:11):
She talks about things likebetter boundaries and unlocking love
and how women can root theirsecurity from within.
It's a journey that requiresinner work.
Mariah is a wonderful guide onthis journey.
She's a highly sought afterlove coach that helps people break
free from difficult relationships.
Mariah so I'm trying to thinkfor listeners to get the best grasp
(15:35):
of what you're talking about.
How do they define a toxic relationship?
Because I'm sure it'sdifferent for everyone and there
are different levels of toxic relationships.
How do they know they're inone and how do they see that mirror
is cracked?
I would say that if you don'tknow that you're in a toxic relationship,
(15:56):
now's not the time to addressit because it kind of has to get
painful enough for you to bemotivated to address it, for the
addressing it to be effective.
And unfortunately, this is alittle bit of a sidebar, but we can
do some harm to our friends insome cases where we try to convince
(16:19):
them that they're in a toxicrelationship and they don't see it
because we just end upalienating them and often driving
them closer to the toxic person.
I found when I was in adysfunctional relationship, I don't
really like the word toxic,but I was in a difficult relationship
and some friends at the timewere seeing some red flags that I
(16:39):
wasn't quite seeing and theywere trying to tell me things that
I would also see out, youknow, on social media and whatnot.
And there's this common themeout there that you know is like,
know your worth, ditch the loser.
Get with someone who deservesyour love.
And while this isn't exactlywrong, the approach there can be
(16:59):
problematic on a few different levels.
Know your worth can comeacross like you're doing it wrong.
Like if you're already feelingunworthy and then having somebody
tell you that you're not evenloving yourself.
Right.
That can kind of deepen the problem.
And then the ditch the loseraspect also then starts to plant
(17:19):
seeds of doubt in yourselfbecause your heart is telling you
that you love this person andother people are telling you that
you shouldn't.
And so that's sowing seeds ofdoubt rather than self trust.
And then get with someone whodeserves your love also reinforces
this fear that under certaincircumstances, we night might not
(17:40):
be deserving of love.
So my message that I am a hugeadvocate for is we don't have to
sacrifice our compassion inorder to become empowered.
If we empower our compassion,it will become big enough for ourselves
as well as others.
I like that.
(18:01):
You know, there's a lot ofwomen who end up being stuck in relationships
and they may recognize thatit's dysfunctional, but they may
have children and theirfinancial resources, they stay.
It's the security.
It's better than being, say,on the street.
They rationalize it in theirminds or it may even be a case of
(18:23):
like Stockholm syndrome.
Yes.
And they can't break away,even though deep down they know this
is not good.
In, in cases where it seems toborderline Stockholm syndrome, I
would recommend therapy.
In cases where you're reallytruly wanting to get out, but believing
(18:49):
that you have to stay for thechildren and, or believing that the
finances are the biggesthindrance, I would say to that, that.
Well, actually I had a friendwho was in that situation for years.
I watched her complain and Iwould, you know, support her and
(19:12):
say, yep, I know you're right, it's.
It's awful.
You have some options.
I understand why you'returning them down, but.
And I would just listen to herand support her.
And I a few times told herthat when it gets painful enough,
she'll find a way.
And sure enough, it did.
There was actually a littlebit of a catalyst involved.
Her father passed away andthat really helped her have appreciation
(19:36):
for the impermanence of life.
And she decided that she wasdone and the universe brought resources
to her.
One of her neighbors isleaving for a year and invited her
to pet sit.
And so now she gets to live ina separate space right across the
street.
So the child can very easilygo between the homes and it's not
(19:58):
costing her anything extra.
And in the meantime, she isable to start pursuing her dreams
that she has been just not hadthe resources, like internal resources
to devote to.
And now that she has some morespace from the difficult relationship,
she's feeling more invigoratedand feels like the world is opening
(20:20):
up for her.
And sometimes it's not a sexymessage, but sometimes we just have
to wait until it gets painful enough.
And that's with a caveat ofsaying, as long as you're not in
actual physical harm, sure.
She's actually discoveringherself without that person.
Because in.
In these kind ofrelationships, you lose yourself.
(20:42):
Yeah.
But there's signs and symptomsof relationships that aren't healthy.
Yeah.
And can you just maybe name afew for people that don't really
maybe.
Aren'T aware of what theyshould be.
Kind of watching out?
For?
Sure.
(21:03):
Well, there are some universalthings that I could talk about in
terms of, you know, feelinglike you're losing yourself or feeling
isolated from your friends, orfeeling like you're never really
able to pursue your dreams or.
(21:25):
John Gottman has the fourhorsemen of the relational apocalypse.
I know one of them iscontempt, another is stonewalling.
I don't recall the other two,but those are also some good indications
of problems in the relationship.
But for me, what I think isreally helpful and a little bit more
(21:46):
easy to identify and make itmore personal is write out a list
of your core values and grand goals.
And by that I mean values canbe things like connection, integrity,
etc.
And I think if you come upwith about, there's a lot of them
(22:08):
and we all resonate with mostof them.
But if you can kind of pickyour top five, this can help with
like a compass heading andthen your goals.
We might have a lot of meansgoals, but our end goals usually
are in terms of growthexperiences and contributions.
What ways we want to grow inlife, what experiences we want to
(22:30):
have, the ways that we want tocontribute to the world or even just
our family or community.
Um, so when you have someclarity on your values and goals,
you can start to notice whenyou're out of alignment with those.
And to bring the practice evendeeper, when you develop a relationship
(22:52):
with your body, and I don'tjust mean body image, but like bringing
your awareness into your bodyand feeling the sensations in your
body and recognizing whatfeels like alignment with your truth,
what feels good versus anxious.
And then you can start tonotice when you feel out of alignment
(23:16):
and when you have some clarityon those things, you can start to
develop instead of kind ofwhat you're talking about with external
red flags, you can start tonotice your internal red Flags.
And for me a big one is defensiveness.
Like it's one thing to explainyourself, especially to someone new.
Oh right, you don't know me.
(23:37):
Sorry that you need some more context.
Let me explain that better.
But when I find myselfdefending like my choices or my meaning
or my goodness, that's a redflag for me.
It's not something that comesup in all of my interactions.
There are plenty ofrelationships I have, friendships,
(23:57):
people in my life where Idon't feel like I need to defend
myself.
Those are safe relationshipsin connections where that behavior
is coming out of me.
That's how I know thatconnection is not aligned for me.
So all of that to say thatwhen you're in a relationship, if
you are feeling anxious, ifyou're finding yourself defending
yourself.
Some other internal red flagsfor me are a sense of urgency or
(24:20):
fantasy.
All of these types of thingscan help you notice when you're out
of alignment.
And any relationship whereeither person is out of alignment
is doomed to fail.
You need to be very aware ofall of these things.
And I think a lot of people dogo into autopilot and they aren't
necessarily aware of howthey're truly feeling.
(24:41):
Also when they first meetsomeone, they get caught up in that
infatuation period wherehormones are raging and that sort
of thing.
Gee, then that's never a goodbarometer or navigation.
That's a bad gps.
At a minimum, learning tonotice when you're dysregulated and
(25:01):
knowing that when you'redysregulated you can't really trust
yourself, that's a great start.
Yeah, I think that if peoplearen't aware, they can be drawn like
a moth to a flame to the sametype of person and they don't realize
it and they wonder, gee, whydidn't this guy or this woman work
out what, what is going on?
Yep, it's honestly, I thinkthe most foundational, beneficial
(25:26):
practice for anyone in anysort of personal development is an
awareness practice.
And there's a secondaryelement that is required in an awareness
practice and that's non judgment.
When we start to becomeincreasingly aware of ourselves,
we're going to start to noticea lot more dumb things that we're
(25:49):
doing.
And it's.
There's going to be aninclination to judge ourselves for
that.
And judgment has a reallypowerful knack for actually keeping
those patterns in place.
And so learning that sort ofself compassion is a really important
part of the practice as well.
(26:10):
And yeah, just strengtheningour awareness about what we're doing.
And why we're doing it and howit's showing up without judgment.
It has a really magicallytransformative effect in our lives.
Stay tuned for more of WomenRoad warriors coming up.
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Our safety champions, theWomen of trucking, independent contractors,
the Next generation oftruckers, and more help us promote
(27:17):
the best of our industry.
Share your story and what youlove about trucking.
Share images of a momentyou're proud of and join us on social
media.
Learn more@truckingmovesamerica.com.
Welcome welcome back to WomenRoad warriors with Shelly Johnson
(27:38):
and Kathy Tucaro.
It's important to know yourself worth when you're in a relationship.
Sometimes it's hard to do whenwe give ourselves mixed messages
and rationalizations.
The problem is too, when youhave friends telling you to ditch
the loser, it can actuallyencourage self doubt depending on
(27:59):
our own self worth.
Getting with someone whodeserves our love often triggers
feelings that we're notworthy, so we choose people who aren't
good for us.
There are many reasons whypeople stay in a difficult relationship
or choose partners like that.
Our self worth is somethingthat we need to attain and protect
when we aren't in a healthy relationship.
We need to be compassionatewith ourselves as we do a deep dive
(28:22):
into why these are some of thethings Mariah Graystone talks about.
She's a love and relationshipcoach who helps women who are ready
to break their cycle ofdifficult relationships.
One of the books she's writtensays it all about the rebirth that
she offers with the titleBecoming Secure in From Push to Pull
to Peace of Mind.
Mariah teaches women how tolove themselves and that relationships
(28:45):
do not define us and love is unconditional.
She teaches women to roottheir security from within, not from
another person.
She also talks about thingslike having better boundaries and
unlocking love and how torecognize dysfunctional relationships.
Mariah recommends to write outa list of our core values and grand
goals.
(29:05):
Pick the top five to give us acompass heading for direction.
When we have clarity on ourvalues and goals, we'll start to
notice.
When we're out of alignmentwith the people we choose to have
in our lives, we'll begin tonotice our internal red flags.
These would include thingslike anxiety or defensiveness, which
would indicate maybe it's nota safe relationship.
(29:26):
That's part of a vitalawareness practice that also includes
self compassion without judgment.
These are just some of thevaluable insights Mariah has been
sharing with us.
Mariah, so you're teachingwomen courage and trusting their
intuition and really gettingto know themselves, which perhaps
they didn't have theopportunity to do as a child.
(29:48):
Women, I think more so aretaught to nurture and to care for.
And we can take that over thetop with, oh gosh, this guy's broken
or this woman's broken, Igotta fix this.
And that's really where we runastray, right?
Absolutely.
In a lot of these instances,these women were brought up, and
(30:13):
men too.
There's a lot of formativedynamics that led the child to believe
that they were responsible fortheir caregivers.
Stability.
Happiness is almost too strong.
They just felt responsible fortheir caregivers to be okay so that
(30:33):
they could be okay.
And that's where that rescuerfixer pattern comes out.
And then we seek out peoplewho we can rescue so that it completes
that picture that oursubconscious is seeking to recreate.
It's exhausting to do thatsort of thing.
And it really throws somebodyoff track of who they're supposed
(30:55):
to be in the world.
Yeah.
And even though it'sexhausting, funny thing about the
human brain is that it is, itis wired to maintain the status quo.
Because if that path didn'thave a saber toothed tiger on it
yesterday, even though it wasfull of brambles, it didn't kill
(31:17):
us.
So why try a new one thatmight kill us?
Let's just stick with the onethat didn't kill us.
That's kind of theevolutionary reasoning behind it,
but essentially how we grew up.
If that goddess, if it, if wedidn't die in childhood, whatever
happened, you know, to get usto adulthood, the very primal part
(31:37):
of the brain is like, let'sjust keep doing that.
And a lot of people end upwith a nervous system that is calibrated
on sort of high activity.
And so even though it's kindof exhausting, it's what's comfortable
to the nervous system, eventhough it's not overall comfortable
(31:58):
or safe or joyful and thebrain thinks like it prioritizes
the an uncomfortablefamiliarity over the discomfort of
something new.
So even though it's reallyexhausting to always be saving people,
it's really uncomfortable tobreak through that and do things
(32:23):
differently.
You get some very excellentinsights here.
It's very empowering for women.
You've got two books actuallythat are available on Amazon.
One's Becoming Secure in LoveFrom Push and Pull to Peace of Mind.
And you also have a selfguided workbook called the Path to
Interdependence.
I love this.
(32:43):
So people can pick this up andthey can read it.
And you also have informationavailable on your website.
It looks like you do retreatsand workshops.
Could you touch on some of this?
I'm seeing some reallypowerful topics.
Better Boundaries UnlockingLove, Peaceful Power Practice and
of course self love, which Ithink a lot of us are guilty, especially
(33:04):
women.
We don't love ourselves enough.
Nope.
If I could, I would just runaround telling everybody that the
solution is self love, but itdoesn't really land as the problem
for people.
So this is why I actuallyfocus on relationships.
The truth is it's.
It's all like so many of ourproblems in life get resolved when
(33:26):
we fix the relationship with ourself.
But a lot of people feel thepain point in their relationships
with others.
So that's why I frame a lot ofmy offerings around addressing those
issues.
But I actually talk verylittle about it.
And I have been focused a loton boundaries because that seems
(33:46):
to really be speaking topeople and because it's.
I, I don't know why, butthere's not much actually helpful
information out there abouthow to develop healthy boundaries.
There's a lot of talk outthere about kind of what they look
like, but not about how to getfrom point A to point B.
(34:07):
It's very true.
And it's a catch all term.
It's just kind of a popularterm, you know, poor boundaries.
You know, people are like,what does that mean?
Do I put up an electric fence?
What the heck are you talking about?
Right?
Yeah, yeah.
And the funny thing you sayabout electric fence.
I the, the terms that I use todefine what most people's boundaries
look like are flimsy fencesand spiked walls.
(34:30):
Okay.
There are people that say, oh,I don't have boundaries, or that
person doesn't have boundaries.
But in reality we all do have boundaries.
They just look different.
Our boundaries are essentiallythe limits of our precious resources.
And if we have flimsy fences.
That's when people say, oh,you let people walk all over you.
(34:50):
Or you might feel like you'rebeing used a lot, or you say yes
too often, or you're reallyuncomfortable saying no.
And then on the flip side,there's these spiked walls where
no sounds like f you and.
Or you're just completely inaccessible.
And part of the reason thatthose are the two common options
is that most people think thatthose are the only two options.
(35:13):
And so if you're, you know,afraid to hurt people, you're gonna
have flimsy fences until youget walked over enough that you,
like, spring the spiked wallsup and you're like, ah, that's enough.
Go away.
Leave me alone.
But you've been trying toavoid that the whole time because
you thought that those werethe only two options.
You thought that saying no wasautomatically gonna be hurtful.
And then the people who havethe spiked walls, like, as a default,
(35:35):
they do that because theythink the only alternative is never
saying no.
There is an alternative.
The middle way, I callselective gates.
And this is where you canlearn to say no without disconnecting.
You can follow a no with a yes.
You can draw your boundariesaround behaviors instead of people.
(35:57):
And there are so manybeautiful ways to let boundaries
actually deepen intimacy andconnection in your relationships.
And it's all an outcome ofthis same healing work that roots
our security within ourselvesand builds a strong foundation in
ourselves of self, love andempowering our compassion.
(36:20):
I love that.
So you can actually walkpeople through the steps.
Because if somebody is notused to putting up boundaries, healthy
boundaries, they have no clueon how to do it.
No clue.
Yes.
I actually offer a six.
I'd say six to eight weeks,because as it turns out, sometimes
we end up having to skip aweek or two.
(36:40):
But it's a six session, one onone course, journey supported program
that I call Better Boundaries.
I love this.
Now, do you work with people remotely?
Can they do this via Zoom orsomething like that?
Yep, that's that preference.
Okay, excellent.
You could be anywhere in thecountry, anywhere in the world.
Yep.
And still partake of your vastknowledge, which is you're helping
(37:04):
a lot of women.
This is terrific.
Thank you.
Yep.
And then for a deeper dive, Ihave a Unlocking Love course.
It's a group program, and thatone is 12 weeks.
And we talk a lot about thesame stuff.
We just break it down even further.
So these are actually somecourses people could take.
Maybe start with the betterboundaries, then go to unlocking
(37:25):
Love to Really go through the process.
Because self love is aprocess, isn't it?
Yes, indeed it is.
It's a journey.
Yeah.
It doesn't happen overnight.
It doesn't change overnight.
There's a lot of layers, likeI was saying earlier to uncovering
who you really are, you know,And I think what you're doing is
(37:48):
absolutely phenomenal becausethere's so many ladies out there
who, who, who are looking forthat assistance because it's not
always easy to do it on yourown, you know?
Yeah.
Nope.
And thank you for, foreverything that you're doing.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
And I want to give a thank youalso to anyone listening for whatever
ways that you're showing upfor yourself.
(38:10):
My mission is to empowercompassion in as many souls as I
can.
I want there to be more lovein the world.
And every instance of showingup for yourself brings more love
into the world.
Wouldn't that be wonderful?
There is so much division andanger and hatred and violence.
Love is the antithesis of that.
(38:30):
Absolutely.
I do like to say love is unconditional.
Relationships are not.
That's what boundaries are for.
Yes.
I love this.
I saw that on your website.
Those are words to live by.
Agreed.
I think one of the traps wefall into a lot is forgetting that
love and relationship is notthe same thing.
Yeah, yeah.
(38:53):
It's something that we do.
But you can love someone andleave them simultaneously.
Yeah.
Love is a verb.
You're right.
And yes, you can still lovesomebody but leave them because you
have to love yourself too.
Absolutely.
That's a tough one to do.
You know, you really do feellike you're on a teeter totter.
And a lot of times I thinkwomen have a hard time breaking away
(39:16):
and showing up for themselves.
Absolutely, I did.
That difficult relationship Iwas in lasted seven years.
And the last year of it, Ipainstakingly, single handedly, consciously
uncoupled us because I startedto realize that it was never going
(39:38):
to be functional.
It took me a long time tothrow everything and the kitchen
sink at it so that I felt likeI had given it everything I could.
And once I reached that point,I was like, okay, it's, it's not
going to work.
And one of the things that Ireally had to overcome was some shame
about feeling like I was weak,that I couldn't make it work.
(40:00):
And what I eventually had todo is just accept the fact that I
am a limited human and thatthis had brought me up to my limits
and that if I couldn't lovemyself in it, I couldn't really love
him either.
And the most loving thing Icould do was really accept him for
who he was and where he was atand what he was capable of and fully
(40:21):
accept me and where I was atand what I was capable of.
And when I looked at that, Isaw that a healthy relationship was
never gonna be possible.
That's powerful.
Yeah.
I think a lot of people areheld back, too, because they don't
want to view themselves asfailures, and they also don't want
the loss.
I mean, even if you get rid ofa relationship that's bad for you,
there's still going to be thatgrieving that loss.
(40:44):
Yep.
And then I'm sure someone elsewill relate to me on this, too.
There's also the fear of, oh,God, now I have to go back and start
over, and my sympathies toanyone in the dating pool.
It is.
It is challenging.
I will say one of the nicethings about being more mature is,
(41:04):
you know, it takes a coupledecades to start to notice our patterns.
I know that a lot of womenfeel a little bit of shame for saying,
oh, I'm.
I'm in my 40s, I'm in my 50s,and it took me this long to realize.
And honestly, you.
You couldn't see it when youwere younger because it had only
happened once or twice.
And it sometimes has to happenthree, four, or five times before
(41:26):
we say, okay, this is a pattern.
Now I see it.
Yeah, it's true.
You have to have some sage and wisdom.
Exactly.
You know, that's why we haveparents growing up.
And hopefully they are.
They do healthy parenting, butthey have some wisdom.
Hopefully we don't have wisdomas children, even though we think
we do.
Oh, yeah.
(41:47):
And teenage adolescence, it'samazing how we think we know everything
once those hormones startraging so much.
I remember thinking, wow, myparents knew nothing about, you know,
the birds and the bees.
Heck, how did I get here?
Yeah, they did.
But teenagers think thatthey've reinvented the world.
(42:08):
Well.
And then the fun thing is,there's a lot of that.
Whatever mechanisms we developin our grand wisdom in adolescence,
we tend to keep with us andcontinue to believe in the soundness
of them without ever stoppingto reassess the.
(42:30):
The tools and the beliefs andthe sort of frameworks that we carry
into our lives.
Very true.
So this is all very much a.
You know, we, we talkedearlier about how it's a journey,
this developing self love andthis healing process.
And I also like to say that it's.
It's a It's a lifestyle change.
(42:51):
The same way they talk about,you know, like the sustainable diets
aren't like fad diets.
They're not temporary things.
You have to completely change,you know, make it a part of your
lifestyle to healthy living.
And in the same way, we haveto start to develop lying like lifelong
habits to put into place tosupport our self love and our self
(43:15):
care and our.
Isn't that the truth?
Yeah.
Yes.
Conscious work, conscious efforts.
Yeah.
Because we tend to slip intoold habits real fast.
I'm speaking from personal experience.
Yeah.
I have to consciously makethat effort to, to keep my yoga,
to keep my time, the Kathytime that's so valuable to me because
it's so easy for, for me tomake 10,000 excuses of other things
(43:38):
that I had I have to do.
But I'm like, nope, you justget up and you get out there, girl,
you first.
Absolutely.
And this is actually acounterpart to re parenting.
Well, it's another aspect ofre parenting.
So on the one hand it takes alot of self validation, but on the
other hand it also takes a lotof boundaries with ourselves.
Like a lot of times we let ourinner child have all of the candy
(44:02):
instead of say, okay, I hear you.
I understand that you wantmore candy and I understand that's
a little disappointing.
You can't have all the candy,but we're not going to eat all the
candy.
Very well said.
Mariah, you also havesomething about Peaceful Power Practice
that you teach women as well.
And then of course, your selflove retreats and workshops.
(44:22):
This is really a wonderfulsupport system for women so they
can start at the beginning andwork their way through, which really
gives them a healthy lifegoing forward.
Absolutely.
And the Peaceful PowerPractice is actually a virtual ashram
where you.
There's daily posts forjournal prompts and you just comment
(44:43):
your thoughts on it.
There's not reallyinteraction, but then there's monthly
group coaching calls.
And it's just a little anchorto keep you checking in with yourself,
keep you aware of yourprogress and help build those healthy
habits and support thosehealthy habits on an ongoing basis.
And it was inspired by whathad evolved into my own practice
(45:06):
that was really supporting me.
And I started calling it myPeaceful Power Practice.
And really there's kind offive main elements.
It's study, self reflection,embodiment interactions and support.
Journaling is a big aspect of that.
Making sure that you've gotpeople in your life who you trust,
(45:29):
who you feel safe with, Sageguides as well, and deepening that
connection with your body.
And using the opportunities ofyour interactions with other people
and the triggers that come upand paying attention to what those
are trying to present to you.
All of that can really becomea lifestyle habit to help perpetuate
(45:52):
and support your ongoing growth.
That's empowering.
Where do women find you?
My website is love coachmariah.com and my name is spelled
M A R I Y A and I also amcurrently posting a lot on my personal
Facebook.
So Mariah Graystone Again, M AR I Y A and it's G R A E S T O N
(46:20):
E.
I'm open to any sort ofconnections and any sort of work
that we do together willalways start with a free call to
make sure that it's a goodmutual fit.
And I'm flexible about, youknow, finding something that works
for both of us.
So this is wonderful.
And people can pick up yourbook on Amazon.
You have two of them becomingsecure in love from push and pull
(46:41):
to peace of mind as well asyour self guided workbook which is
the past to interdependence.
That's excellent Mariah.
I love your insights.
You are going to empower somany women down the road.
Thank you.
I hope so.
That's what it's about andthat's what we need.
Being champions for ourselvesand having champions in our own lives
(47:01):
too.
Absolutely.
Thank you for sharing yourwisdom with us.
No, thank you so much.
Oh my God.
So many ladies are going toget benefit from this.
I sure hope so.
Yes.
We hope you've enjoyed thislatest episode.
And if you want to hear moreepisodes of Women Road warriors or
learn more about our show, besure to check out womenroadwarriors.com
(47:24):
and please follow us on social media.
And don't forget to subscribeto our podcast on our website.
We also have a selection ofpodcasts Just for Women.
They're a series of podcastsfrom different podcasters.
So if you're in the mood forwomen's podcasts, just click the
Power network tab onwomenroadwarriors.com youm'll have
a variety of shows to listento anytime you want to.
(47:47):
Podcasts Made for Women WomenRoad warriors is on all the major
podcast channels like Apple,Spotify, Amazon, Audible, YouTube
and others.
Check us out and please followus wherever you listen to podcasts.
Thanks for listening.
You've been listening to WomenRoad warriors with Shelly Johnson
(48:08):
and Kathy Takaro.
If you want to be a guest onthe show or have a topic or feedback,
email us@sjohnsonomenroadwarriors.com.
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