September 2, 2025 • 51 mins
The Harvard Business Review says only 10% of people are self-aware. There is a serious lack of emotional intelligence (E.Q.) today. E.Q. is important because it is responsible for 85% of our success. Emotional intelligence is the cornerstone of effective communication and personal empowerment, a theme that resonates throughout this episode. Our guest, Neda Lena Nasserdeen, founder and CEO of Rise Up for You, discusses how to achieve emotional intelligence. As a two-time TEDx speaker and author of the acclaimed best-seller "Emotional Intelligence: The Path to Fulfillment, Influence and Greater Success," Neda shares invaluable insights gleaned from her extensive experience in leadership and personal development. Together, Shelley Johnson and Kathy Tuccaro explore the importance of self-awareness, emotional regulation, and understanding how to show up in our interpersonal relationships. This conversation is a clarion call for people seeking to enhance their emotional acumen and foster meaningful connections in their personal and professional lives.
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#EmotionalIntelligence #EQ #SelfAwareness #Success #Business #Career #InterpersonalRelationships #NadaLena #RiseUpForYou #NadaLenaNasserdeen #ShelleyJohnson #ShelleyMJohnson #KathyTuccaro #WomenRoadWarriors #Women women empowerment, emotional intelligence, self-confidence, leadership skills, personal development, communication skills, women in trucking, career success, emotional regulation, self-awareness, influential communication, soft skills training, women road warriors, overcoming challenges, resilience in women, emotional awareness, coaching for success, professional growth, women in leadership, Rise Up For You
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Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
This is Women Road warriorswith Shelly Johnson and Kathy Tucaro.
From the corporate office tothe cab of a truck, they're here
to inspire and empower womenin all professions.
So gear down, sit back and enjoy.
(00:23):
Welcome.
We're an award winning showdinner dedicated to empowering women
in every profession throughinspiring stories and expert insights.
No topics off limits.
On our show, we power women onthe road to success with expert and
celebrity interviews andinformation you need.
I'm Shelley.
And I'm Kathy.
(00:44):
Have you ever wondered whysome people are so inappropriate?
They say and do things they shouldn't.
We've all encountered them,but they're ways to communicate,
to power others as well as yourself.
This is all about emotionalintelligence and how we use it.
Neta Lena Nazudine is thefounder and CEO of Rise up for your.
(01:06):
She's also the author ofEmotional the Path to Fulfillment,
Influence and Greater Successwhich is a number one bestseller.
Neta is a two time TEDxspeaker and a two time number one
bestselling author andglobally recognized thought leader.
She's considered an authorityon leadership, personal development
and emotional intelligence.
She shared stages at eventswith legends like Tony Robbins, Les
(01:28):
Brown, Adam Grant and Sharon Lecter.
We have Netta with us on theshow to discuss her insights and
we're honored.
Welcome, Netta.
Thank you for being on theshow to power our listeners on their
road to success.
We can't wait to hear what yougot to say.
Well, hello.
Thank you so much for having me.
It's truly an honor to be here.
Yeah, I think it's our honorto have you.
(01:49):
Absolutely.
Netta.
First of all, before we tapinto emotional intelligence and what
that's all about, I thoughtyou could give our listeners a brief
background of who you are andhow you got into all of this.
Okay.
I love that.
Thanks.
Thank you.
Thank you for asking.
I don't know how brief I'llbe, but I'll tighten it up.
So, you know, honestly, myfirst career I ever had, I was a
(02:10):
performer.
I used to tour the worldinternationally as a singer and a
dancer, believe it or not, domusical theater.
And I realized very quickly inthat industry that there was so much
more than just the techniqueof being a singer and dancer that
was needed.
You know, when I first startedperforming, I would walk into a room
with hundreds of performersthat all were really good.
(02:31):
They sang really well and theydanced really well, but There was
only 36 seats on a bus.
And so I started to realizevery, very quickly that I had to
do something different to beSeen, be heard and be relevant to
get one of those 36 seats and,and it had to be more than just my
technical capabilities.
Fast forward that a few moreyears later and I'm 27 years old.
(02:53):
I become the executive of aneducation corporation.
I had about 200 team membersunder me, believe it or not.
And I saw pretty much theexact same thing happening in the
workplace.
A ton of amazing professionalsthat had PhDs, master's degrees,
bachelor's, you name it.
They had everything theyneeded to be successful.
Really struggled with beingseen, being heard and being relevant.
(03:16):
They really struggled,struggled with leadership, with communication,
with really the skills thatmake up 80% of your success.
Even though they wereincredibly intelligent from a technical
standpoint, I'm sure we allknow that person or persons that
are incredibly book smart,they're genius at what they do, but
they struggle with buildingoverall success in life because they
(03:37):
haven't built the soft skillsthat are needed to truly elevate
them.
Oh, gosh, yes, yes, yes.
And simultaneously in theevening, I started to teach at a
college.
I became a professor for a college.
So I really saw thesimilarities between being an executive,
working with professionals andthen being a professor and working
with incoming students every year.
(04:00):
And every year more and moreand more, I would see college freshmen
and sophomore that wouldrather take an F than ask a question
because they didn't want tolook dumb.
They struggled with anxietyand depression.
They struggled with, you know,basic life skills that 50 and 60
years ago we learned a littlebit more because we used to play
on the streets and play in thesandbox, if you know what I mean.
(04:22):
I can see more and more thanthat this gap was being created.
And so that's really where myjourney began.
I started to recognize andacknowledge that there was a gap
here and we needed to fill it.
And so I just did it in my own way.
You know, I did it as a professor.
I created a life skills courseat the college, which they didn't
have.
I built all the content.
I started, you know, buildingsome of these, this programming within
(04:45):
the corporation as anexecutive and you know, the learning
and the development.
And then I went through my ownpersonal journey.
I, you know, after a few yearsof being an executive, about five
years, I decided to resignfrom the company, sell my house,
get rid of my car, get rid of everything.
And I moved out of the countryfor an opportunity called the Love.
And after four weeks, I lost everything.
(05:08):
I went from a six figureexecutive to a hundred dollars in
my bank account and no job, no car.
No house, two luggage.
That was it.
And I remember just feelingvery embarrassed and very shocked
about the situation.
You know, how does an educatedwoman get themselves in this position?
I'm sure many of us listeninghave experienced that at some point
(05:31):
in our life.
And I was really at a pivotalmoment in my life.
And so I remember getting backon a plane again.
$100, two luggage.
That's all I had.
I didn't even tell my motherthat I was coming home because I
was embarrassed.
And parents take the pain oftheir children sometimes more than
the child takes it themselves.
I'm sure you can resonate with that.
(05:53):
And so I got back on a planeand I fell asleep because I was crying
so much.
My father came to me in mydream, who died a few years prior,
and he said, netta, everythingyou need is in you.
You just have to rise up for.
For you.
And as you, you know,mentioned earlier, that is the company
that I built, Rise up for you.
(06:14):
It came from a painful journey.
I didn't know anything about entrepreneurship.
I knew nothing about business.
But I got back to Californiaand I just started building.
About four months later, mysecond parent, my mother, was diagnosed
with stage four cancer.
So I built the company out ofa hospital.
I would take showers at the 24Hour Fitness.
I would go back across thestreet, open up my laptop while I'm
(06:36):
sitting next to my mom, and Iwould type in, how do you build a
website?
How do you build a business?
Who's Tony Robbins?
What do people need in the world?
And nine months later, mysecond parent passed away.
I was 31 when I buried mysecond parent, and I was at my lowest
in my life.
But only one question came tomy mind, and that was, what does
it mean to build a life thatyou're truly proud of?
(07:00):
And that's where I reallydoubled down on Rise it for you.
I doubled down on myself, eventhough I knew nothing about entrepreneurship
and business.
And I started the company.
And today we're in over 50countries with our programming and
our services, and we've workedwith everything from Fortune 5 companies
down to, you know, local nonprofit.
Wow.
Wow, you said that at the sametime, like, wow.
(07:23):
Yes.
Oh, my goodness.
Netta, you had some seriousresilience at a very young age.
You went through so many things.
It was so scary.
A lot of people would havebeen just crippled by any one of
those things.
Yes.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah, you know, I attest itall to my parents, and anytime I
(07:43):
get the opportunity to talkabout my parents, Shelly, I do because
they were really the backboneof everything that I am today.
My parents were.
I always thank God for thequality of time that I had with them.
I always want more time, right.
I want more quantity with them.
But I'm so grateful for thetime that I did have with them because
(08:03):
they truly were incredible parents.
They left the best ofthemselves with my brothers and I
and they taught us self confidence.
They taught us to love ourselves.
At a young age.
My parents were wise enough toknow that a lot of people in our
lives were going to come alongand kick us down and push us down
and put doubt into our mind.
And so at a very young age,they tried to combat that by teaching
(08:25):
us self love and selfconfidence and pushing our potential
and also gratitude, faith,being kind to other people, being
respectful, telling the truth.
And so I really attest theresilience and any accomplishment
that I have today to theupbringing that my parents provided
(08:45):
for my brothers and I, whichis why I think parenting is so important
and really the starting pointfor a lot of the skills that we talk
about today.
It really is.
It truly, truly is.
You're shaping a human beingand their confidence and everything
else.
And in terms of emotionalintelligence, that's where we do
learn it.
But you're talking about communication.
(09:06):
It really seems to me thatcommunication seems to be a lost
art.
When you look at a lot of theyoung people, they're texting, if
you talk to them, they don'tknow what to do.
I mean, if you call them onthe phone and if you don't know how
to communicate, you can't besuccessful, right?
Absolutely.
You know, influence.
So within the company, rise upfor your.
We have four major pillars.
(09:28):
Influential.
Communication is the fourthpillar program that we teach.
And it's by far the mostdifficult because you really have
to have a strong sense of selfconfidence, emotional intelligence,
and leadership in order tocommunicate effectively.
A lot of times when it comesto communication, there's a number
of things that are happeningthat are hindering our capacity to
(09:50):
communicate.
One of the biggest things is alack of self confidence.
I always say that a lack ofself confidence hinders your capacity
to communicate effectively.
It hinders your courage tohave conscious conversations.
It hinders your ability to be vulnerable.
And so it really is the mostdifficult, I would say skill to embody.
(10:11):
But if you can learn to buildthat self confidence and the emotional
regulation and thatauthenticity around being vulnerable,
the communication only opensup and gets better from there.
Emotional regulation.
That one's a tough one.
Very tough.
Yeah, it's very tough because,I mean, there's a, there's a lot
that we can dive into here.
(10:32):
But, you know, when we gothrough challenges in life, when
we go through trauma in life,you know, our upbringing, whatever
it is, many of us, thatbecomes our identity.
And sometimes when we getattached to this identity or to the
past experiences that we have,we can also make excuses for how
we behave.
(10:53):
So how many times have youmaybe talked to a person or you've
heard of a story where theysay, well, you know, they were just
raised that way or they'rereally going through a hard time.
And so we use our past and weuse our experiences to make an excuse
around how we behave aroundemotional regulation.
And that's why it's really difficult.
And I know that we talk a lotabout empathy in our society, but
(11:16):
I think that, you know, a partof emotional regulation and a part
of communication is takingownership over how we want to show
up and how we want to manageand take power over our emotions.
I think that one of thegreatest states you can achieve as
a human being is being able tofeel your emotions, acknowledge your
emotions, but manage youremotions to the point where, where
(11:39):
they still help you be theperson that you want to be versus
behave in a way that youregret later on.
Stay tuned for more of WomenRoad Warriors.
Coming up.
Industry movement TruckingMoves America Forward is telling
(12:00):
the story of the industry.
Our safety champions, thewomen of truck, independent contractors,
the next generation oftruckers, and more.
Help us promote the best ofour industry.
Share your story and what youlove about trucking.
Share images of a momentyou're proud of and join us on social
media.
Learn more@truckingmovesamerica.com.
(12:27):
Welcome back to Women Roadwarriors with Shelly Johnson and
Kathy Tucaro.
If you're enjoying thisinformative episode of Women Road
Warriors, I wanted to mentionKathy and I explore all kinds of
topics that will power you onthe road to success.
We feature a lot of expertinterviews, plus we feature celebrities
(12:48):
and women who've been trailblazers.
Please check out ourpodcast@womenroadwarriors.com and
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(13:08):
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We want to help as many womenas possible Let me ask you something.
Have you ever wondered whysome people just don't seem to know
what's appropriate?
They say and do things theyprobably shouldn't.
(13:29):
We've all seen this.
But here's the good news.
There are powerful ways tocommunicate, not just to influence
others, but to empower yourself.
And that's exactly whattoday's conversation is all Emotional
Intelligence Our guest,Natalina Nasserdine is the founder
and CEO of Rise up for yourand the author of the 1 bestseller
(13:50):
Emotional the Path toFulfillment, Influence and Greater
Success.
She's also a two time TEDxspeaker, two time number one best
selling author and a globallyrecognized thought leader.
And she did all of this afterlosing everything while confronting
serious family challenges.
She rose up to victory andteaches other people to do the same.
(14:10):
Considered an authority onleadership, personal development
and emotional intelligence,Netta has even shared the stage with
icons like Tony Robbins, LesBrown, Adam Grant and Sharon Lecter.
She's here to share the skillswe all need to strengthen our emotional
intelligence and create realsuccess in life.
It's all about deciding how wewant to show up.
(14:31):
Neta we talked about emotionalregulation in our last segment and
taking control of our behaviorso we don't behave in a way that
we regret later on.
So many times people don'tthink about this and say things without
thinking about the effect oftheir words.
Many people don't even thinkabout that.
That requires knowing whatit's like to be on the other end
(14:51):
of the communication.
And the empathy, I think thatwe lack that.
I'm going to challenge thatslightly because I think that people
feel in their body whenthey're not showing up.
Well, even if somebody elsedoesn't say, hey, that was unkind
or you weren't emotionallyregulated or you were really aggressive,
I think naturally as humanbeings we can feel in our stomach
(15:13):
or in our body, in our throatwhen we're becoming unregulated or
when we're becoming slightly escalated.
And I would say fromprofessional and personal experience
with working with clientele aswell, that when those conversations
or when those behaviors arehad, there's typically a response
later on that says, okay, wellI wish I would have done this differently.
(15:37):
And so it's not always in themoment and that's why self awareness
is so important.
But I would say that a lot oftimes people do have that second
thought of well, I wish Iwasn't as hot tempered or I wish
I would have responded thisway or maybe I didn't need to say
it in this way and So I thinkit's a little bit.
It's a combination of both.
It's being able to getfeedback and honest feedback, actually
(16:01):
from people that care aboutyou, that aren't afraid to tell you
the truth, and alsorecognizing your emotion and how
you feel in those moments whenyou're behaving a certain way.
I mean, I know for myself, noone's perfect.
I teach this every day, and Istill have moments where I let my
emotions get the best of me.
But I'll tell you within 10 or15 minutes, I will then coach myself
(16:25):
and say, okay, did not like that.
Like, you gotta do better next time.
That this isn't in value or inalignment with who you want to be
as a woman.
And I'm already assessing andcoaching myself for the next time.
So you recommend, basically,people take a step back and evaluate
themselves Always.
I would say every night.
(16:47):
Every night I.
Before I go to bed, I lay inbed and I. I just.
I have a conversation layingin bed.
I don't write it down.
I know, I know journaling is avery great practice.
It's something that we alsohave in our books.
But for me, I just like toreflect upon it.
Every night I'll lay in bedand I'll say, what did I do great
today?
What did.
What is something that I didthat didn't feel the best or maybe
(17:10):
I'm not proud of, and how canI shift it tomorrow?
And that's a constant practicethat I'm looking at.
Emotional intelligence makesso much sense, but it's not something
that is talked about.
I was just gonna say I didn'treally know.
I couldn't put a name to my emotions.
If that sounds crazy until Iwas in treatment in recovery at the
(17:32):
age of 40, and I noticed a lotof women in that center couldn't.
Because of traumatic backgrounds.
They knew they're experiencingsomething, but they couldn't put
a name.
Like, I didn't know whatanxiety was until I reached that,
you know?
And so when you talk abouteverything that you've been talking
about, my question is, well,what if people don't really understand
what it is that they'reexperiencing just from whether lack
(17:56):
of information or just they'vebeen so traumatized in life that
the.
They just.
They kind of go with the flowor they just follow the chaos and
they just, you know, theydon't really haven't been taken charge
of their emotions to say.
Yeah, that's a great question.
Emotional intelligence is.
It's a buzzword.
But most individuals reallydon't know what it means and unfortunately
(18:20):
it's not, it's not taught enough.
So emotional and socialintelligence, the bigger, broader
spectrum is soft skills, makesup about 85% of your success.
But we spend probably 95% ofwhat we're learning and what we're
doing on the opposite, on thetechnical aspects.
And so many people, Kathy,would resonate with what you're saying.
(18:41):
And that's why emotionalintelligence, the very first pillar,
I'll break it down into visual aspect.
Right.
Since we're talking aboutthis, think of emotional intelligence
like a tree.
The root of the tree, the baseof the tree, is the foundation of
everything you need in orderto survive.
And out of that base is fourmajor branches.
(19:04):
The very first branch, Kathy,is self awareness.
And a part of that branch arethree leaves.
Emotional awareness, which iswhat you're talking about, accurate
self assessment and self confidence.
And so going back to thecommunication aspect and tying it
in with this first pillar ofemotional intelligence, a lot of
people struggle with thatcommunication or even the emotional
(19:27):
regulation because they don'thave the language and they were never
taught the language coincidingwith their feelings.
And so that very first pillar,self awareness, and the emotional
awareness leaf that comes offof that branch is critical.
We have hundreds of emotionsmost individuals only know, like
the basic seven, happy, sad,angry, frightened.
(19:51):
Right.
They don't know the deeperspectrum of feelings.
So now imagine if, let's sayI'm in a meeting and a leader comes
to me and says, how are you doing?
And I say I'm really mad.
What's the next question theleader is going to ask?
Typically, why are you mad?
Because we're explaining it ina basic level.
(20:12):
I'm mad.
That's a very basic foundationof how we feel.
But now imagine if somebodywas building the self awareness,
the emotional intelligence andthe vocabulary around their feelings
and they're able to say, Ifeel frustrated because I felt negated
and unseen in the meeting thatwe just had.
And oftentimes I feel like myopinion doesn't matter.
(20:33):
Now as a leader, I have somuch more information.
The communication from theteam member was 1000% more inclusive
and I have a better understanding.
And now we can have a truevulnerable conversation because the
expression that the teammember had is more self aware.
Which I think a lot of peopleare not.
(20:55):
You'll hear people say, well,I just put my foot in my mouth instead
of taking responsibility andthey just kind of continue to do
that or they'll have a majorblow up and everybody's looking at
them like, what's going on?
Absolutely.
Well, Harvard Business Reviewsent out some research that showed
that 95% of individuals thinkthey're self aware and only 10% actually
(21:17):
are.
And that's why this work is so important.
Because in order for you toreally grow and create positive change,
you have to have anunderstanding of what needs changing,
but not from your perception.
And I've been there, you know,everything that we teach.
I've also practiced on myself.
When I was an executive, I was27 years old.
(21:38):
As I mentioned, I had 200 teammembers under my leadership.
At 27, all of them were olderthan me, every one of them.
And all of them have had alsobeen at the company longer than I
had.
Most of them were there foranywhere between six to eight years.
And when I was promoted as anexecutive, I was only there for three
months.
But because my emotionalintelligence was a little bit more
(22:01):
heightened, I think fromperforming, I got promoted very,
very fast.
I went from an entry levelposition to an executive in three
and a half months.
And so I was not liked.
And I thought I was, I thoughtI was the most amazing leader ever.
I thought I was the bestexecutive that ever stepped foot
on, you know, on the campusand in the headquarters.
But nobody would ever come tomy office.
(22:23):
Nobody would ever talk to me.
And then one day somebodysaid, well, you're kind of intimidating.
And I said, nope, that's not true.
That's your story, not mine.
And then another person said,well, you're kind of intimidating.
And I said, no, no, no,that's, that's just not who I am.
I'm not an intimidating person.
And then by the time the thirdperson said it, I went, okay, nada.
(22:49):
Numbers don't lie.
This is the third person.
Maybe my perception of who Iam is not accurate.
And so I did an anonymous survey.
I was the only executive thatdared to do it.
I was basically putting myselfon the chopping block.
And out of 200 team members,75% said I was intimidating, not
(23:10):
relatable, and I looked madall the time.
I was devastated because Irealized in that moment that what
I thought about myself wasn't,wasn't how I was being received.
And even though that was apainful moment, I went home, I cried,
I was devastated.
It was the best thing I everdid because I now had an opportunity
(23:33):
to truly grow and learn from,from the data that I had collected
from feedback, right?
Feedback of how other peoplesee me.
And that is really, reallyimportant, not only as a leader,
but as a parent, as a person,as a friend, understanding how am
I really showing up?
Because at the end of the day,it's very isolating if you only pay
(23:57):
attention to yourself and yourown thoughts.
You have to have anunderstanding of how you're truly
being received.
Stay tuned for more of WomenRoad warriors.
Coming up.
Industry movement TruckingMoves America Forward is telling
(24:17):
the story of the industry.
Our safety champions, thewomen of trucking, independent contractors,
the next generation oftruckers and more help us promote
the best of our industry.
Share your story and what youlove about trucking.
Share images of a momentyou're proud of and join us on social
media.
Learn more@truckingmovesamerica.com.
(24:44):
Welcome back to Women Roadwarriors with Shelly Johnson and
Kathy Tucaro.
We're diving into somethingpowerful today, Emotional intelligence.
Our guest, Natalina Nasserdineknows all about it.
She's the founder and CEO ofRise up for your, the author of the
(25:05):
number one bestsellerEmotional the Path to Fulfillment,
Influence and Greater success,and a two time TEDx speaker.
Ned is a global thought leader.
She's an authority onleadership, personal development
and emotional intelligence.
And she's even shared thestage with icons like Tony Robbins,
Les Brown, Adam Grant, andSharon Lecter.
Here's the kicker.
(25:25):
Influential communicationrequires emotional intelligence,
self awareness, selfregulation and self confidence.
You can actually learn tobuild confidence, regulate your emotions
and coach yourself into better responses.
It's about taking your powerback for success in life and taking
responsibility on how you show up.
(25:46):
That's important becauseemotional intelligence accounts for
85% of your success in life.
And that's exactly whatNetta's here to help us do.
Netta, you were talking aboutit's really important for people
to know how they're beingreceived and you actually asked for
feedback on that.
And that's really valuable forpeople to know because a lot of people
aren't self aware.
(26:06):
That's pretty courageous to do that.
A lot of people don'tnecessarily want to know.
Well, yeah, because it'suncomfortable and you know, you're
afraid of what the outcome isgoing to be.
But I, I had to remove my egoin that moment and do what was best
for the greater good.
I had that conversation, Isaid to myself, okay, I'm going to
(26:29):
do this anonymous survey, I'mprobably going to get my butt kicked.
But it's not about me.
You know, the second I tookthe executive role and anyone that's
a leader out there, I reallywant you to hear this.
The second I accepted the roleas A leader was the second that I
knew it was no longer about meand my ego.
It just can't be.
(26:49):
That's not what a leadershiprole is.
And so I had to be able.
Even though I knew it wasgoing to be painful, I knew I was
going to get some feedbackthat was going to suck, that was
going to hurt my feelings.
I was 27.
I wasn't, you know, as matureas I am today.
Obviously I did know that onething, that in order for me to grow
and be the best leader, I hadto remove myself from the equation
(27:12):
so that I can get some realhonest feedback about who I am and
how I can be better.
That was very wise.
You're awesome, you know that?
Oh, yeah.
Wow.
True.
It takes a lot of courage totake a step back and do a deep self
analysis.
And especially the things thatwe don't like about ourselves or
(27:32):
things that, like you said,people perceive that we are, we don't
realize it.
But at the same time, that iswhere the growth is.
That is where like, like whenI, I had to spend a period of off
and on two years in thiswomen's treatment center recovery
and I had to unlearn all like40 years of learned behaviors of
(27:53):
these lies and I had to dothis really deep pick in and out.
And I mean, there's layersupon layers of stuff that I didn't
even realize was there, whichwas shaping the way I responded to
life.
So once I removed all that andI'm left standing there like I don't
even know who I am anymore.
And I'm 40.
And so I had to relearn what.
(28:16):
Who Kathy really was.
I had to learn what I liked,what I didn't like, like, and I'm
not without other people'sopinions making me biased on things.
And man, I gotta say, it wasthe best thing I could have ever
done for myself because I'mnot, I wasn't responding to what
other people were telling me I was.
And just learning it, well, ittakes courage because there's a lot
(28:37):
of things that I'm like, oh myGod, am I really like that?
And then to change that and tobecome the person I am today, I mean,
obviously it doesn't happenovernight, but it has been the best
thing that has been the mostpositive change, not just for myself,
because now who I am, itreflects to everywhere I go, to all
the people I have contact with.
(28:59):
And I think that it's a superpower.
Yeah, I was literally justthinking when you were talking about
how powerful that is.
Because when you commit, Ialways say commit versus interested,
because interested is just a thought.
It doesn't require action.
But committed requires as action.
And you, you committed tocreating transformation within yourself.
(29:22):
When you're able to do that,you take back your power.
And it's ugly and it's hardand it's uncomfortable, but it's
so empowering.
When you get to the other sideand realize that, okay, like, I have
somewhere to go from here.
I know baby steps to get towhere I want to be.
(29:44):
And you really start to becomethe beautiful butterfly that you
are meant to be.
I always say that the greattragedy is wasted human potential.
And most people don't allowthemselves to go through the suck
and to fail and to cry and toget punched in the face in order
to progress and reach their potential.
So very true.
(30:05):
And life will punch you in theface, no doubt about that.
More than once, multiple times.
It'll happen.
Well, people like security,they don't necessarily want to take
risks.
And I think maybe I'm goingout on a limb here, but I think women
are more vested in security.
I think men may be bigger risk takers.
(30:25):
So what you're talking about,it's all about taking risk.
But if you don't do that,you're not going to grow.
Absolutely.
And taking risk, it's part ofself confidence.
It's actually something thatwe talk about in our self confidence
training is that a lot oftimes we're afraid to take risk because
we attach our identity to outcomes.
(30:46):
And what happens if we take arisk and we fail?
What happens if we take a riskand it's not perfect?
What happens if it takes, wetake a risk and people don't like
it.
And so we, we say the what ifa lot.
What if this, what if that?
And, and that oftentimes willcripple us from taking action, from
taking risk, from having theuncomfortable conversation.
(31:08):
The other part of it is theamygdala, which I'm sure many of
you have heard about this, thereptilian brain, right.
So much has changed in our society.
But the amygdala part of ourbrain, the responsive part of our
brain, the reptilian part ofour brain, hasn't evolved in the
same way.
And so today we feel the samething in our body that we did thousands
(31:32):
of years ago when it came tolike the saber tooth tiger or whatever
animals we were trying toprotect ourselves from.
Today we have the same feelingwhen we feel any kind of fear, even
if the fear is raising yourhand in a Meeting the response that
we feel in our body and our brain.
Our brain goes into fight orflight mode is the same, even though
(31:54):
the threat of it is completelydifferent than it was a thousand
years ago.
Interesting.
So it's a matter of gettingover on that reptilian brain.
Yeah.
And it's a matter of.
Of coaching yourself andasking those questions of am I really.
Is my life really threatenedright now versus am I just feeling
(32:16):
afraid because the outcomemight not be what I want it to be?
And now which way do I go from here?
And that again, that comesback to that self confidence piece.
It's interesting.
I'm just currently reading abook called Change youe Questions,
Change youe Life.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Who is that raised by?
I'd like to.
(32:37):
Mary Lee Adams.
Okay.
Okay, great.
Yeah.
You know, I mean, my team andI, we ask every year, believe it
or not, four to 5,000 people,what their number one challenge is.
83% say self confidence.
83% that, you know, every timeI hear it, it's just mind blowing
to me.
The first book I ever wrotewas on self confidence because we
(32:59):
live in a state of not feeling enough.
Most individuals have amindset of I'm not enough.
And I really.
One of my goals in lifepersonally, not only with the company,
but just personally as Neta,is to help more people overcome the
I'm not enough mindset.
You know, I think a lot ofpeople think that they're not enough
(33:19):
if they don't have maybe acertain person in their life, a certain
thing in their life.
Well, you listen to the advertisements.
If you don't have this thing,you aren't going to be the best.
It's externalizing everythingrather than going inside and finding
that strength within us 100%.
And that's really thedifference between confidence and
(33:40):
self confidence, whichoftentimes gets confused and intermingled.
There are two types ofconfidence that we have, and in our
life.
We're taught to build general confidence.
What I call micro confidence.
In the book, it's exactly whatyou're talking about, Shelley.
It's confident in external things.
I'm confident as a singer, I'mconfident as a speaker.
(34:02):
I'm confident when it comes tocoding and technology, you know,
whatever it is.
We're taught to build a lot ofaccolades and confidence in things
and degrees and certificationsand subjects, whatever that is.
But all of those things areexternal and they exist outside of
you.
And the problem with anythingthat exists outside of you is that
it will inevitably change.
(34:23):
And will it?
When it does change.
We saw this during COVID for example.
We had people around the worldthat all of those external confidences
fell apart and guess what happened?
The person fell apart.
We had people come to us andsay, who am I?
What value do I bring to the world?
I don't know what my value andmy identity is anymore.
Because they spent theirentire life building micro confidence,
(34:46):
just the general confidenceversus what I call macro confidence,
also known as self confidence,which is that inner belief that you
are enough simply because you exist.
It's the belief that failureis research to success.
And in order for you to growin life, you have to have the polar
right of failure and success.
(35:07):
That's the only way you canunderstand what success is.
It's the understanding thatperfectionism creates procrastination
which prevents you from your potential.
Macro self confidence teachesus that we are more than what we
accumulate externally.
And when you're able to buildmacro level confidence, you're able
(35:29):
to build more micro level confidence.
I use myself as an examplewith the story that I gave earlier.
I lost everything.
As I mentioned, I had $100buried both of my parents.
I was in my lowest baby point.
I knew nothing about buildinga business.
So from the micro side ofthings, it was completely depleted.
Right?
No money, no job, no car, nohouse, no business degree, no concept,
(35:54):
no knowledge on what it tookto build a business.
But because I had the macroconfidence from my parents and I
had an inner belief that myidentity and who I am is not attached
to those things, I was able tolearn the microconfidence of building
the business.
I was able to learn how tobuild a podcast.
I was able to learn aboutgetting out there and networking
(36:16):
and all of these things thattoday created the business.
That was amazing that you hadthat kind of insight.
I'm not sure at 27, I wouldhave done as well with everything
either.
Yeah, with everything.
I'm very impressed with you.
I can't tell you.
Like, holy smokes, man.
Yeah, with everything thatcame at you.
I mean, those are some serioustragedies that would rock most people's
(36:40):
worlds at any age.
Yeah, I mean, I.
It definitely rocked me.
I.
Emotionally, you know, it wasvery difficult for me, especially
when I lost my mother, becauseshe really suffered.
You know, she was diagnosedwith stage four cancer out of nowhere.
And anyone that has had towatch a family member or a parent
pass from cancer, it's just.
(37:02):
It's brutal and it'sheartbreaking and it's.
Yes, it's definitely astruggle, but I think that, you know,
I'm going back to the life.
Life does not discriminate.
And all of us have certainthings in life that just constantly
kick us in the teeth.
And I think for me, I just, Ihad to have a lot of conversations
with myself around what typeof woman do I want to be and how
(37:25):
do I want to show up in the world?
And there was also a part ofme that didn't want the loss of my
parents to go to waste.
You know, I didn't want mypain to go to no good.
So in that moment of sufferingand pain, I just reminded myself,
okay, like you can either it'sa ball of energy and the ball of
(37:47):
energy is either going to goto good or it's going to go nowhere
and go to bad.
And so I just decided torechannel that energy into something
that can serve me and canserve the world and make a bigger
impact.
Bravo to you.
Stay tuned for more of WomenRoad Warriors.
Coming up.
(38:11):
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the story of the industry.
Our safety champions, thewomen of trucking, independent contractors,
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(38:32):
media.
Learn more@truckingmovesamerica.com.
Welcome back to Women Roadwarriors with Shelly Johnson and
Kathy Tucaro.
If you're just tuning in,we've been talking about something
(38:53):
that impacts every single oneof us.
Emotional Intelligence.
Our guest, Natalina Nasserdineis the powerhouse founder and CEO
of Rise up for your.
She's the Author of the 1bestseller, Emotional the Path to
Fulfillment, Influence andGreater Success.
We've been exploring whyemotional regulation and self awareness
(39:14):
are so important.
That's where ET Comes in.
It's about recognizing ouremotions, building self confidence
and learning to respondinstead of react.
As Netta teaches us, Realgrowth is about self coaching and
taking ownership of how weshow up in the world.
And today Netta is giving usthe tools to do just that.
(39:34):
You have accomplished so verymuch and you've helped a lot of people
and you've spoken with somepowerhouse people, Tony Robbins,
Les Brown, Adam Grant, Sharon Lecter.
And you also have a number onebestseller, Emotional Intelligence,
the Path to Fulfillment,Influence and Greater Success.
I wanted to touch on that book.
What are some of the thingsthat people can learn from that book?
(39:56):
Oh, so this.
Thank you for asking.
Thank you for asking thatbecause that book launched end of
January was a number onebestseller before it launched and
it was not written by ChatGPT everyone.
There's a lot of heavy liftingin there.
Well, here's what I'll sayabout the book.
Soft skills in general,emotional intelligence, self confidence,
(40:20):
leadership, influential communication.
It's not something that youcan just learn concepts on.
You won't createtransformation and you won't create
change like that.
And so one of the things thatI really love about the book, even
though I wrote it, is that 85%of it is pen to paper.
Because in order for you tocreate transformation in these skills,
you need to experience them inyour body.
(40:41):
And so the book is very empowering.
There's stories in there,there's clients stories in there.
I mean, we really, we reallyshare the stories that we're dealing
with on a day to day basis.
My team and I, I have about 16team members right now.
And every single day we're inthe trenches with companies and leaders
and, and doing this work.
And so we put a lot ofempowering stories in there that
(41:01):
are true.
But then we immediately gointo action steps and strategies
in the book so that the readercan start to create transformation
and shift.
We need to be able to take theskills that we're teaching and move
it past the frontal part ofyour brain.
We need to take it all the wayback to the limbic system where the
(41:22):
change actually happens.
And so that's one of the greatthings that I really love about the
book.
But you will learn pretty indepth about emotional and social
intelligence.
You'll learn about the fourbranches that I talked about earlier.
Self awareness, selfmanagement, social awareness, relationship
management, and then each oneof those branches has additional
(41:42):
competencies that come off ofthat branch.
And so in total, there's 18different competencies in emotional
intelligence.
This book breaks down everyone of those competencies and it
provides strategies for everyone of those competencies so that
you can actually create ashift in your life as a person and
as a professional.
(42:04):
Wow.
So emotional intelligence, itisn't covered a lot.
Are there some cliff notes youcould share on how to accomplish
it?
The very first thing I wouldsay is going back to what we discussed
earlier is self assessment.
If you go to our website,riseitforyou.com and you click on
the free resource button,there's an emotional intelligence
(42:25):
quiz there.
It's completely free.
My recommendation is the firstthing you do is you take the emotional
intelligence quiz and then yousend it to seven to ten people that
you trust that are going togive you Honest, real feedback.
And you have them take thatassessment, like on you so that you
can see the difference.
That's the very first step,because in order for you to create
(42:48):
change, you have to understandwhat areas of your life need change.
Otherwise it feels very overwhelming.
Right.
There's 18 competencies inemotional intelligence.
So I'll give you an example.
Every year I do an assessment.
That's the first thing.
And I give it to my entireteam, my entire company.
Every year, I score like anine and a half, 10 out of 10 on
(43:08):
confidence.
So that's not a.
That's not an area that I'mgonna put my energy into or focus
into because according to myteam and according to myself, my
confidence is pretty highbecause I, you know, again, I was
taught that at a young age.
But, you know, the area thatdoes tend to get the lowest score
that I'm actively working onis empathy.
Right.
Because I'm a business owner,I move at a certain pace.
(43:32):
Sometimes when you are anentrepreneur and a past executive,
you're wired a little bit differently.
You have certain expectationsand standards.
And so active listening andempathy are the two areas that my
team suggests I work on.
And so that's the first stepthat you need in order to build emotional
intelligence is justunderstanding where the work should
(43:52):
begin.
And empathy is a tough onebecause you're kind of trying to
put yourself in somebodyelse's shoes.
Yeah.
And not only putting yourselfin someone else's shoes, but being
empathetic without losing expectations.
That's one of the hardestthings for leaders today, is how
do I be empathetic to my teamwithout letting the standards get
(44:14):
watered down or theexpectations of the organization
fall by the wayside.
And so it's reallyunderstanding how to communicate
with empathy whilst at thesame time letting the team member
know or the person or whoeverit is that you're sitting in front
of, that A, B and C still needto happen.
And so how do we marry the two together?
Empathy plus the expectations.
(44:36):
So how would a leader approach that?
Say there's an employee thatneeds to improve, but you can appreciate
their situation.
How would they handle thatwith empathy?
The first thing that I woulddo is role play a conversation.
I always tell leaders, ifyou're going to have a conversation
that requires empathy, butmaybe you don't agree, or maybe there's
(44:57):
still certain things that needto happen.
Prepare for the conversation,role play the conversation, because
remember, it goes back tocommunication and having the right
language.
And so it's important for youthat you're able to map out in your
mind.
I even write it down sometimesbeing able to acknowledge, you know,
first I hear where you'recoming from, I understand how challenging
(45:19):
this can be.
And then working together totry to solve it, where the team member
feels like they're beingheard, but that the leader or the
company also feel that thebenchmark or whatever is needed is
getting done.
And obviously it's a case bycase situation.
It depends on the severity ofthe organization.
But I think this happens a lotin organizations is again, we let
(45:42):
things fall apart becausegoing back to that self confidence
leaders want to be liked.
There's a lot of leaders thatwant to be liked.
They don't want to disrupttheir team.
They're afraid to haveconscious conversations.
Believe it or not, we workwith a lot of leaders that really
struggle with having consciousconversations, but their team is
depending on them to have them.
(46:03):
Yeah, it's intimidating.
Leaders are in a powerposition and they literally hold
somebody else's life in their hands.
If an employee is notperforming properly and hasn't been
for a while, then they've gotthis quandary.
It's like, you really likethat employee, but maybe they're
not working out in the company.
(46:23):
That's a hard one.
Some people may be morecomfortable with it, but I think
a lot of people don't like that.
Yeah.
And again, it goes back to that.
Creating the shift in you.
It's normal to be uncomfortable.
And I think we just need toget comfortable with being uncomfortable
because that's where thechange happens.
And we have to go back to thatpiece of self confidence of realizing
(46:44):
that it's okay if it doesn'tturn out the way that you want.
It's okay if you're not liked.
It's okay if you know, you'rea little bit of a disruptor.
That's all a part of the process.
And the more we can getcomfortable with that, the better
we're going to be able tocommunicate and create change.
And I think ultimately, at theend of the day, most people want
(47:05):
to have a positive impact notonly on themselves, but on their
team.
Do you think women are morehung up on being liked than men?
It's a really good question.
I think so.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I would say before I startedthe company, I would have said yes.
Now that I run the company andmy team and I work with thousands
(47:30):
of professionals every year, Iwould say no.
They just deal with it differently.
They deal with it differently.
I happen to coach a lot ofmale executives and it's the same
story that I hear with myfemale executives.
They just cope with it differently.
They tend to assert more ormaybe be a little bit more aggressive
(47:54):
when they are struggling withpeople pleasing or wanting to be
like or healthy boundaries.
And women deal with it alittle bit differently.
They tend to become morepassive, maybe they break more boundaries,
they hit burnout.
So the behaviors are a littlebit different, but the symptom of
people pleasing and wanting tobe liked for the most part is across
(48:15):
the board.
Okay, interesting.
So, Neta, where do people find you?
What kind of services can theyget from your website and from you?
And where do they find your book?
Well, thank you so much forasking that question.
This has been a great conversation.
If you go to riseupforyou.comthere's a ton of free resources.
Just click the free Resource tab.
(48:36):
You can get the emotionalIntelligence quiz, the self confidence
quiz, and the masterclass forboth of them completely free.
You can also follow us onsocial media at RiseUp4U and I'll
just say, you know, if you'rean individual and any of this resonated
with you and you want moresupport, just go to our website and
click on the informative call.
Or if you're an executive anda leader and you think that this
(48:59):
would be useful for your team,you know, the coaching, the team
training, the leadership workshops.
Again, just click on theinformative call and our team are
happy to speak with you.
And then other than that, youcan follow me and connect with me
personally.
Netalina Nasserdine onLinkedIn primarily is what I use
and I do my own social media,so if you send me a message, I will
be the one to respond to you.
(49:20):
That's excellent.
Thank you.
I think a lot of people can beempowered by your message.
This is really powerful.
Yeah, I'm empowered.
I'm going to work.
I'm like, come on, bring it.
That's right, Netta.
We need more people like youto empower people so they can reach
inside themselves, get thatinner strength, that confidence,
and maybe have more empathy.
(49:42):
Because I think in many waysour world needs more of that.
I agree.
We're so connected today, butsomehow we've lost that empathy.
You see so much stuff onsocial media.
It's like, oh, my.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I always say we're moreconnected than we've ever been, but
we're more disconnected thanwe've ever been.
(50:04):
Yeah.
And it's almost like it'sbrought out the bully culture because
people don't see each othereye to eye, they're sitting behind
a device and they say thingsthey probably wouldn't do on a face
to face basis.
Absolutely.
It's the communication.
They found a new way tocommunicate in a way that is less
(50:25):
scary than if they were to doit in person.
Yeah.
It brings out the bullies andthe cowards.
Yeah.
And I think there's a methodin that as well.
Online is learning how to kindof disconnect from some of that online,
because it can, it can createa lot of pain inside and a lot of
compromise.
And so I think people have tobe wise enough to understand, you
(50:48):
know, what to listen to, whatto consume on social media, and what
not to consume on social media.
I totally agree, Neta.
Your wisdom is terrific.
Thank you so much for being onthe show with us.
Thank you so much for having me.
I enjoyed speaking to both ofyou and it's been my honor today.
We hope you've enjoyed thislatest episode.
And if you want to hear moreepisodes of Women Road warriors or
(51:11):
learn more about our show, besure to check out womenroadwarriors.com
and please follow us on social media.
And don't forget to subscribeto our podcast.
Women Road warriors is on allthe major podcast channels like Apple,
Spotify, Amazon, Audible,YouTube, and others.
Check us out and please followus wherever you listen to podcasts.
(51:32):
Thanks for listening.
You've been listening to WomenRoad warriors with Shelly Johnson
and Kathy Tucaro.
If you want to be a guest onthe show or have a topic or feedback,
you email us@sjohnsonomenroadwarriors.com.
This is Women Road warriorswith Shelly Johnson and Kathy Tucaro.
From the corporate office tothe cab of a truck, they're here
to inspire and empower womenin all professions.
So gear down, sit back and enjoy.
(00:23):
Welcome.
We're an award winning showdinner dedicated to empowering women
in every profession throughinspiring stories and expert insights.
No topics off limits.
On our show, we power women onthe road to success with expert and
celebrity interviews andinformation you need.
I'm Shelley.
And I'm Kathy.
(00:44):
Have you ever wondered whysome people are so inappropriate?
They say and do things they shouldn't.
We've all encountered them,but they're ways to communicate,
to power others as well as yourself.
This is all about emotionalintelligence and how we use it.
Neta Lena Nazudine is thefounder and CEO of Rise up for your.
(01:06):
She's also the author ofEmotional the Path to Fulfillment,
Influence and Greater Successwhich is a number one bestseller.
Neta is a two time TEDxspeaker and a two time number one
bestselling author andglobally recognized thought leader.
She's considered an authorityon leadership, personal development
and emotional intelligence.
She shared stages at eventswith legends like Tony Robbins, Les
(01:28):
Brown, Adam Grant and Sharon Lecter.
We have Netta with us on theshow to discuss her insights and
we're honored.
Welcome, Netta.
Thank you for being on theshow to power our listeners on their
road to success.
We can't wait to hear what yougot to say.
Well, hello.
Thank you so much for having me.
It's truly an honor to be here.
Yeah, I think it's our honorto have you.
(01:49):
Absolutely.
Netta.
First of all, before we tapinto emotional intelligence and what
that's all about, I thoughtyou could give our listeners a brief
background of who you are andhow you got into all of this.
Okay.
I love that.
Thanks.
Thank you.
Thank you for asking.
I don't know how brief I'llbe, but I'll tighten it up.
So, you know, honestly, myfirst career I ever had, I was a
(02:10):
performer.
I used to tour the worldinternationally as a singer and a
dancer, believe it or not, domusical theater.
And I realized very quickly inthat industry that there was so much
more than just the techniqueof being a singer and dancer that
was needed.
You know, when I first startedperforming, I would walk into a room
with hundreds of performersthat all were really good.
(02:31):
They sang really well and theydanced really well, but There was
only 36 seats on a bus.
And so I started to realizevery, very quickly that I had to
do something different to beSeen, be heard and be relevant to
get one of those 36 seats and,and it had to be more than just my
technical capabilities.
Fast forward that a few moreyears later and I'm 27 years old.
(02:53):
I become the executive of aneducation corporation.
I had about 200 team membersunder me, believe it or not.
And I saw pretty much theexact same thing happening in the
workplace.
A ton of amazing professionalsthat had PhDs, master's degrees,
bachelor's, you name it.
They had everything theyneeded to be successful.
Really struggled with beingseen, being heard and being relevant.
(03:16):
They really struggled,struggled with leadership, with communication,
with really the skills thatmake up 80% of your success.
Even though they wereincredibly intelligent from a technical
standpoint, I'm sure we allknow that person or persons that
are incredibly book smart,they're genius at what they do, but
they struggle with buildingoverall success in life because they
(03:37):
haven't built the soft skillsthat are needed to truly elevate
them.
Oh, gosh, yes, yes, yes.
And simultaneously in theevening, I started to teach at a
college.
I became a professor for a college.
So I really saw thesimilarities between being an executive,
working with professionals andthen being a professor and working
with incoming students every year.
(04:00):
And every year more and moreand more, I would see college freshmen
and sophomore that wouldrather take an F than ask a question
because they didn't want tolook dumb.
They struggled with anxietyand depression.
They struggled with, you know,basic life skills that 50 and 60
years ago we learned a littlebit more because we used to play
on the streets and play in thesandbox, if you know what I mean.
(04:22):
I can see more and more thanthat this gap was being created.
And so that's really where myjourney began.
I started to recognize andacknowledge that there was a gap
here and we needed to fill it.
And so I just did it in my own way.
You know, I did it as a professor.
I created a life skills courseat the college, which they didn't
have.
I built all the content.
I started, you know, buildingsome of these, this programming within
(04:45):
the corporation as anexecutive and you know, the learning
and the development.
And then I went through my ownpersonal journey.
I, you know, after a few yearsof being an executive, about five
years, I decided to resignfrom the company, sell my house,
get rid of my car, get rid of everything.
And I moved out of the countryfor an opportunity called the Love.
And after four weeks, I lost everything.
(05:08):
I went from a six figureexecutive to a hundred dollars in
my bank account and no job, no car.
No house, two luggage.
That was it.
And I remember just feelingvery embarrassed and very shocked
about the situation.
You know, how does an educatedwoman get themselves in this position?
I'm sure many of us listeninghave experienced that at some point
(05:31):
in our life.
And I was really at a pivotalmoment in my life.
And so I remember getting backon a plane again.
$100, two luggage.
That's all I had.
I didn't even tell my motherthat I was coming home because I
was embarrassed.
And parents take the pain oftheir children sometimes more than
the child takes it themselves.
I'm sure you can resonate with that.
(05:53):
And so I got back on a planeand I fell asleep because I was crying
so much.
My father came to me in mydream, who died a few years prior,
and he said, netta, everythingyou need is in you.
You just have to rise up for.
For you.
And as you, you know,mentioned earlier, that is the company
that I built, Rise up for you.
(06:14):
It came from a painful journey.
I didn't know anything about entrepreneurship.
I knew nothing about business.
But I got back to Californiaand I just started building.
About four months later, mysecond parent, my mother, was diagnosed
with stage four cancer.
So I built the company out ofa hospital.
I would take showers at the 24Hour Fitness.
I would go back across thestreet, open up my laptop while I'm
(06:36):
sitting next to my mom, and Iwould type in, how do you build a
website?
How do you build a business?
Who's Tony Robbins?
What do people need in the world?
And nine months later, mysecond parent passed away.
I was 31 when I buried mysecond parent, and I was at my lowest
in my life.
But only one question came tomy mind, and that was, what does
it mean to build a life thatyou're truly proud of?
(07:00):
And that's where I reallydoubled down on Rise it for you.
I doubled down on myself, eventhough I knew nothing about entrepreneurship
and business.
And I started the company.
And today we're in over 50countries with our programming and
our services, and we've workedwith everything from Fortune 5 companies
down to, you know, local nonprofit.
Wow.
Wow, you said that at the sametime, like, wow.
(07:23):
Yes.
Oh, my goodness.
Netta, you had some seriousresilience at a very young age.
You went through so many things.
It was so scary.
A lot of people would havebeen just crippled by any one of
those things.
Yes.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah, you know, I attest itall to my parents, and anytime I
(07:43):
get the opportunity to talkabout my parents, Shelly, I do because
they were really the backboneof everything that I am today.
My parents were.
I always thank God for thequality of time that I had with them.
I always want more time, right.
I want more quantity with them.
But I'm so grateful for thetime that I did have with them because
(08:03):
they truly were incredible parents.
They left the best ofthemselves with my brothers and I
and they taught us self confidence.
They taught us to love ourselves.
At a young age.
My parents were wise enough toknow that a lot of people in our
lives were going to come alongand kick us down and push us down
and put doubt into our mind.
And so at a very young age,they tried to combat that by teaching
(08:25):
us self love and selfconfidence and pushing our potential
and also gratitude, faith,being kind to other people, being
respectful, telling the truth.
And so I really attest theresilience and any accomplishment
that I have today to theupbringing that my parents provided
(08:45):
for my brothers and I, whichis why I think parenting is so important
and really the starting pointfor a lot of the skills that we talk
about today.
It really is.
It truly, truly is.
You're shaping a human beingand their confidence and everything
else.
And in terms of emotionalintelligence, that's where we do
learn it.
But you're talking about communication.
(09:06):
It really seems to me thatcommunication seems to be a lost
art.
When you look at a lot of theyoung people, they're texting, if
you talk to them, they don'tknow what to do.
I mean, if you call them onthe phone and if you don't know how
to communicate, you can't besuccessful, right?
Absolutely.
You know, influence.
So within the company, rise upfor your.
We have four major pillars.
(09:28):
Influential.
Communication is the fourthpillar program that we teach.
And it's by far the mostdifficult because you really have
to have a strong sense of selfconfidence, emotional intelligence,
and leadership in order tocommunicate effectively.
A lot of times when it comesto communication, there's a number
of things that are happeningthat are hindering our capacity to
(09:50):
communicate.
One of the biggest things is alack of self confidence.
I always say that a lack ofself confidence hinders your capacity
to communicate effectively.
It hinders your courage tohave conscious conversations.
It hinders your ability to be vulnerable.
And so it really is the mostdifficult, I would say skill to embody.
(10:11):
But if you can learn to buildthat self confidence and the emotional
regulation and thatauthenticity around being vulnerable,
the communication only opensup and gets better from there.
Emotional regulation.
That one's a tough one.
Very tough.
Yeah, it's very tough because,I mean, there's a, there's a lot
that we can dive into here.
(10:32):
But, you know, when we gothrough challenges in life, when
we go through trauma in life,you know, our upbringing, whatever
it is, many of us, thatbecomes our identity.
And sometimes when we getattached to this identity or to the
past experiences that we have,we can also make excuses for how
we behave.
(10:53):
So how many times have youmaybe talked to a person or you've
heard of a story where theysay, well, you know, they were just
raised that way or they'rereally going through a hard time.
And so we use our past and weuse our experiences to make an excuse
around how we behave aroundemotional regulation.
And that's why it's really difficult.
And I know that we talk a lotabout empathy in our society, but
(11:16):
I think that, you know, a partof emotional regulation and a part
of communication is takingownership over how we want to show
up and how we want to manageand take power over our emotions.
I think that one of thegreatest states you can achieve as
a human being is being able tofeel your emotions, acknowledge your
emotions, but manage youremotions to the point where, where
(11:39):
they still help you be theperson that you want to be versus
behave in a way that youregret later on.
Stay tuned for more of WomenRoad Warriors.
Coming up.
Industry movement TruckingMoves America Forward is telling
(12:00):
the story of the industry.
Our safety champions, thewomen of truck, independent contractors,
the next generation oftruckers, and more.
Help us promote the best ofour industry.
Share your story and what youlove about trucking.
Share images of a momentyou're proud of and join us on social
media.
Learn more@truckingmovesamerica.com.
(12:27):
Welcome back to Women Roadwarriors with Shelly Johnson and
Kathy Tucaro.
If you're enjoying thisinformative episode of Women Road
Warriors, I wanted to mentionKathy and I explore all kinds of
topics that will power you onthe road to success.
We feature a lot of expertinterviews, plus we feature celebrities
(12:48):
and women who've been trailblazers.
Please check out ourpodcast@womenroadwarriors.com and
click on our Episodes page.
We're also available whereveryou listen to podcasts on all the
major podcast channels likeSpotify, Apple, YouTube, Amazon,
Music, Audible, you name it.
Check us out and bookmark our podcast.
(13:08):
Also, don't forget to followus on social media.
We're on Twitter, Facebook,Instagram, Pinterest, LinkedIn, YouTube
and other sites and tellothers about us.
We want to help as many womenas possible Let me ask you something.
Have you ever wondered whysome people just don't seem to know
what's appropriate?
They say and do things theyprobably shouldn't.
(13:29):
We've all seen this.
But here's the good news.
There are powerful ways tocommunicate, not just to influence
others, but to empower yourself.
And that's exactly whattoday's conversation is all Emotional
Intelligence Our guest,Natalina Nasserdine is the founder
and CEO of Rise up for yourand the author of the 1 bestseller
(13:50):
Emotional the Path toFulfillment, Influence and Greater
Success.
She's also a two time TEDxspeaker, two time number one best
selling author and a globallyrecognized thought leader.
And she did all of this afterlosing everything while confronting
serious family challenges.
She rose up to victory andteaches other people to do the same.
(14:10):
Considered an authority onleadership, personal development
and emotional intelligence,Netta has even shared the stage with
icons like Tony Robbins, LesBrown, Adam Grant and Sharon Lecter.
She's here to share the skillswe all need to strengthen our emotional
intelligence and create realsuccess in life.
It's all about deciding how wewant to show up.
(14:31):
Neta we talked about emotionalregulation in our last segment and
taking control of our behaviorso we don't behave in a way that
we regret later on.
So many times people don'tthink about this and say things without
thinking about the effect oftheir words.
Many people don't even thinkabout that.
That requires knowing whatit's like to be on the other end
(14:51):
of the communication.
And the empathy, I think thatwe lack that.
I'm going to challenge thatslightly because I think that people
feel in their body whenthey're not showing up.
Well, even if somebody elsedoesn't say, hey, that was unkind
or you weren't emotionallyregulated or you were really aggressive,
I think naturally as humanbeings we can feel in our stomach
(15:13):
or in our body, in our throatwhen we're becoming unregulated or
when we're becoming slightly escalated.
And I would say fromprofessional and personal experience
with working with clientele aswell, that when those conversations
or when those behaviors arehad, there's typically a response
later on that says, okay, wellI wish I would have done this differently.
(15:37):
And so it's not always in themoment and that's why self awareness
is so important.
But I would say that a lot oftimes people do have that second
thought of well, I wish Iwasn't as hot tempered or I wish
I would have responded thisway or maybe I didn't need to say
it in this way and So I thinkit's a little bit.
It's a combination of both.
It's being able to getfeedback and honest feedback, actually
(16:01):
from people that care aboutyou, that aren't afraid to tell you
the truth, and alsorecognizing your emotion and how
you feel in those moments whenyou're behaving a certain way.
I mean, I know for myself, noone's perfect.
I teach this every day, and Istill have moments where I let my
emotions get the best of me.
But I'll tell you within 10 or15 minutes, I will then coach myself
(16:25):
and say, okay, did not like that.
Like, you gotta do better next time.
That this isn't in value or inalignment with who you want to be
as a woman.
And I'm already assessing andcoaching myself for the next time.
So you recommend, basically,people take a step back and evaluate
themselves Always.
I would say every night.
(16:47):
Every night I.
Before I go to bed, I lay inbed and I. I just.
I have a conversation layingin bed.
I don't write it down.
I know, I know journaling is avery great practice.
It's something that we alsohave in our books.
But for me, I just like toreflect upon it.
Every night I'll lay in bedand I'll say, what did I do great
today?
What did.
What is something that I didthat didn't feel the best or maybe
(17:10):
I'm not proud of, and how canI shift it tomorrow?
And that's a constant practicethat I'm looking at.
Emotional intelligence makesso much sense, but it's not something
that is talked about.
I was just gonna say I didn'treally know.
I couldn't put a name to my emotions.
If that sounds crazy until Iwas in treatment in recovery at the
(17:32):
age of 40, and I noticed a lotof women in that center couldn't.
Because of traumatic backgrounds.
They knew they're experiencingsomething, but they couldn't put
a name.
Like, I didn't know whatanxiety was until I reached that,
you know?
And so when you talk abouteverything that you've been talking
about, my question is, well,what if people don't really understand
what it is that they'reexperiencing just from whether lack
(17:56):
of information or just they'vebeen so traumatized in life that
the.
They just.
They kind of go with the flowor they just follow the chaos and
they just, you know, theydon't really haven't been taken charge
of their emotions to say.
Yeah, that's a great question.
Emotional intelligence is.
It's a buzzword.
But most individuals reallydon't know what it means and unfortunately
(18:20):
it's not, it's not taught enough.
So emotional and socialintelligence, the bigger, broader
spectrum is soft skills, makesup about 85% of your success.
But we spend probably 95% ofwhat we're learning and what we're
doing on the opposite, on thetechnical aspects.
And so many people, Kathy,would resonate with what you're saying.
(18:41):
And that's why emotionalintelligence, the very first pillar,
I'll break it down into visual aspect.
Right.
Since we're talking aboutthis, think of emotional intelligence
like a tree.
The root of the tree, the baseof the tree, is the foundation of
everything you need in orderto survive.
And out of that base is fourmajor branches.
(19:04):
The very first branch, Kathy,is self awareness.
And a part of that branch arethree leaves.
Emotional awareness, which iswhat you're talking about, accurate
self assessment and self confidence.
And so going back to thecommunication aspect and tying it
in with this first pillar ofemotional intelligence, a lot of
people struggle with thatcommunication or even the emotional
(19:27):
regulation because they don'thave the language and they were never
taught the language coincidingwith their feelings.
And so that very first pillar,self awareness, and the emotional
awareness leaf that comes offof that branch is critical.
We have hundreds of emotionsmost individuals only know, like
the basic seven, happy, sad,angry, frightened.
(19:51):
Right.
They don't know the deeperspectrum of feelings.
So now imagine if, let's sayI'm in a meeting and a leader comes
to me and says, how are you doing?
And I say I'm really mad.
What's the next question theleader is going to ask?
Typically, why are you mad?
Because we're explaining it ina basic level.
(20:12):
I'm mad.
That's a very basic foundationof how we feel.
But now imagine if somebodywas building the self awareness,
the emotional intelligence andthe vocabulary around their feelings
and they're able to say, Ifeel frustrated because I felt negated
and unseen in the meeting thatwe just had.
And oftentimes I feel like myopinion doesn't matter.
(20:33):
Now as a leader, I have somuch more information.
The communication from theteam member was 1000% more inclusive
and I have a better understanding.
And now we can have a truevulnerable conversation because the
expression that the teammember had is more self aware.
Which I think a lot of peopleare not.
(20:55):
You'll hear people say, well,I just put my foot in my mouth instead
of taking responsibility andthey just kind of continue to do
that or they'll have a majorblow up and everybody's looking at
them like, what's going on?
Absolutely.
Well, Harvard Business Reviewsent out some research that showed
that 95% of individuals thinkthey're self aware and only 10% actually
(21:17):
are.
And that's why this work is so important.
Because in order for you toreally grow and create positive change,
you have to have anunderstanding of what needs changing,
but not from your perception.
And I've been there, you know,everything that we teach.
I've also practiced on myself.
When I was an executive, I was27 years old.
(21:38):
As I mentioned, I had 200 teammembers under my leadership.
At 27, all of them were olderthan me, every one of them.
And all of them have had alsobeen at the company longer than I
had.
Most of them were there foranywhere between six to eight years.
And when I was promoted as anexecutive, I was only there for three
months.
But because my emotionalintelligence was a little bit more
(22:01):
heightened, I think fromperforming, I got promoted very,
very fast.
I went from an entry levelposition to an executive in three
and a half months.
And so I was not liked.
And I thought I was, I thoughtI was the most amazing leader ever.
I thought I was the bestexecutive that ever stepped foot
on, you know, on the campusand in the headquarters.
But nobody would ever come tomy office.
(22:23):
Nobody would ever talk to me.
And then one day somebodysaid, well, you're kind of intimidating.
And I said, nope, that's not true.
That's your story, not mine.
And then another person said,well, you're kind of intimidating.
And I said, no, no, no,that's, that's just not who I am.
I'm not an intimidating person.
And then by the time the thirdperson said it, I went, okay, nada.
(22:49):
Numbers don't lie.
This is the third person.
Maybe my perception of who Iam is not accurate.
And so I did an anonymous survey.
I was the only executive thatdared to do it.
I was basically putting myselfon the chopping block.
And out of 200 team members,75% said I was intimidating, not
(23:10):
relatable, and I looked madall the time.
I was devastated because Irealized in that moment that what
I thought about myself wasn't,wasn't how I was being received.
And even though that was apainful moment, I went home, I cried,
I was devastated.
It was the best thing I everdid because I now had an opportunity
(23:33):
to truly grow and learn from,from the data that I had collected
from feedback, right?
Feedback of how other peoplesee me.
And that is really, reallyimportant, not only as a leader,
but as a parent, as a person,as a friend, understanding how am
I really showing up?
Because at the end of the day,it's very isolating if you only pay
(23:57):
attention to yourself and yourown thoughts.
You have to have anunderstanding of how you're truly
being received.
Stay tuned for more of WomenRoad warriors.
Coming up.
Industry movement TruckingMoves America Forward is telling
(24:17):
the story of the industry.
Our safety champions, thewomen of trucking, independent contractors,
the next generation oftruckers and more help us promote
the best of our industry.
Share your story and what youlove about trucking.
Share images of a momentyou're proud of and join us on social
media.
Learn more@truckingmovesamerica.com.
(24:44):
Welcome back to Women Roadwarriors with Shelly Johnson and
Kathy Tucaro.
We're diving into somethingpowerful today, Emotional intelligence.
Our guest, Natalina Nasserdineknows all about it.
She's the founder and CEO ofRise up for your, the author of the
(25:05):
number one bestsellerEmotional the Path to Fulfillment,
Influence and Greater success,and a two time TEDx speaker.
Ned is a global thought leader.
She's an authority onleadership, personal development
and emotional intelligence.
And she's even shared thestage with icons like Tony Robbins,
Les Brown, Adam Grant, andSharon Lecter.
Here's the kicker.
(25:25):
Influential communicationrequires emotional intelligence,
self awareness, selfregulation and self confidence.
You can actually learn tobuild confidence, regulate your emotions
and coach yourself into better responses.
It's about taking your powerback for success in life and taking
responsibility on how you show up.
(25:46):
That's important becauseemotional intelligence accounts for
85% of your success in life.
And that's exactly whatNetta's here to help us do.
Netta, you were talking aboutit's really important for people
to know how they're beingreceived and you actually asked for
feedback on that.
And that's really valuable forpeople to know because a lot of people
aren't self aware.
(26:06):
That's pretty courageous to do that.
A lot of people don'tnecessarily want to know.
Well, yeah, because it'suncomfortable and you know, you're
afraid of what the outcome isgoing to be.
But I, I had to remove my egoin that moment and do what was best
for the greater good.
I had that conversation, Isaid to myself, okay, I'm going to
(26:29):
do this anonymous survey, I'mprobably going to get my butt kicked.
But it's not about me.
You know, the second I tookthe executive role and anyone that's
a leader out there, I reallywant you to hear this.
The second I accepted the roleas A leader was the second that I
knew it was no longer about meand my ego.
It just can't be.
(26:49):
That's not what a leadershiprole is.
And so I had to be able.
Even though I knew it wasgoing to be painful, I knew I was
going to get some feedbackthat was going to suck, that was
going to hurt my feelings.
I was 27.
I wasn't, you know, as matureas I am today.
Obviously I did know that onething, that in order for me to grow
and be the best leader, I hadto remove myself from the equation
(27:12):
so that I can get some realhonest feedback about who I am and
how I can be better.
That was very wise.
You're awesome, you know that?
Oh, yeah.
Wow.
True.
It takes a lot of courage totake a step back and do a deep self
analysis.
And especially the things thatwe don't like about ourselves or
(27:32):
things that, like you said,people perceive that we are, we don't
realize it.
But at the same time, that iswhere the growth is.
That is where like, like whenI, I had to spend a period of off
and on two years in thiswomen's treatment center recovery
and I had to unlearn all like40 years of learned behaviors of
(27:53):
these lies and I had to dothis really deep pick in and out.
And I mean, there's layersupon layers of stuff that I didn't
even realize was there, whichwas shaping the way I responded to
life.
So once I removed all that andI'm left standing there like I don't
even know who I am anymore.
And I'm 40.
And so I had to relearn what.
(28:16):
Who Kathy really was.
I had to learn what I liked,what I didn't like, like, and I'm
not without other people'sopinions making me biased on things.
And man, I gotta say, it wasthe best thing I could have ever
done for myself because I'mnot, I wasn't responding to what
other people were telling me I was.
And just learning it, well, ittakes courage because there's a lot
(28:37):
of things that I'm like, oh myGod, am I really like that?
And then to change that and tobecome the person I am today, I mean,
obviously it doesn't happenovernight, but it has been the best
thing that has been the mostpositive change, not just for myself,
because now who I am, itreflects to everywhere I go, to all
the people I have contact with.
(28:59):
And I think that it's a superpower.
Yeah, I was literally justthinking when you were talking about
how powerful that is.
Because when you commit, Ialways say commit versus interested,
because interested is just a thought.
It doesn't require action.
But committed requires as action.
And you, you committed tocreating transformation within yourself.
(29:22):
When you're able to do that,you take back your power.
And it's ugly and it's hardand it's uncomfortable, but it's
so empowering.
When you get to the other sideand realize that, okay, like, I have
somewhere to go from here.
I know baby steps to get towhere I want to be.
(29:44):
And you really start to becomethe beautiful butterfly that you
are meant to be.
I always say that the greattragedy is wasted human potential.
And most people don't allowthemselves to go through the suck
and to fail and to cry and toget punched in the face in order
to progress and reach their potential.
So very true.
(30:05):
And life will punch you in theface, no doubt about that.
More than once, multiple times.
It'll happen.
Well, people like security,they don't necessarily want to take
risks.
And I think maybe I'm goingout on a limb here, but I think women
are more vested in security.
I think men may be bigger risk takers.
(30:25):
So what you're talking about,it's all about taking risk.
But if you don't do that,you're not going to grow.
Absolutely.
And taking risk, it's part ofself confidence.
It's actually something thatwe talk about in our self confidence
training is that a lot oftimes we're afraid to take risk because
we attach our identity to outcomes.
(30:46):
And what happens if we take arisk and we fail?
What happens if we take a riskand it's not perfect?
What happens if it takes, wetake a risk and people don't like
it.
And so we, we say the what ifa lot.
What if this, what if that?
And, and that oftentimes willcripple us from taking action, from
taking risk, from having theuncomfortable conversation.
(31:08):
The other part of it is theamygdala, which I'm sure many of
you have heard about this, thereptilian brain, right.
So much has changed in our society.
But the amygdala part of ourbrain, the responsive part of our
brain, the reptilian part ofour brain, hasn't evolved in the
same way.
And so today we feel the samething in our body that we did thousands
(31:32):
of years ago when it came tolike the saber tooth tiger or whatever
animals we were trying toprotect ourselves from.
Today we have the same feelingwhen we feel any kind of fear, even
if the fear is raising yourhand in a Meeting the response that
we feel in our body and our brain.
Our brain goes into fight orflight mode is the same, even though
(31:54):
the threat of it is completelydifferent than it was a thousand
years ago.
Interesting.
So it's a matter of gettingover on that reptilian brain.
Yeah.
And it's a matter of.
Of coaching yourself andasking those questions of am I really.
Is my life really threatenedright now versus am I just feeling
(32:16):
afraid because the outcomemight not be what I want it to be?
And now which way do I go from here?
And that again, that comesback to that self confidence piece.
It's interesting.
I'm just currently reading abook called Change youe Questions,
Change youe Life.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Who is that raised by?
I'd like to.
(32:37):
Mary Lee Adams.
Okay.
Okay, great.
Yeah.
You know, I mean, my team andI, we ask every year, believe it
or not, four to 5,000 people,what their number one challenge is.
83% say self confidence.
83% that, you know, every timeI hear it, it's just mind blowing
to me.
The first book I ever wrotewas on self confidence because we
(32:59):
live in a state of not feeling enough.
Most individuals have amindset of I'm not enough.
And I really.
One of my goals in lifepersonally, not only with the company,
but just personally as Neta,is to help more people overcome the
I'm not enough mindset.
You know, I think a lot ofpeople think that they're not enough
(33:19):
if they don't have maybe acertain person in their life, a certain
thing in their life.
Well, you listen to the advertisements.
If you don't have this thing,you aren't going to be the best.
It's externalizing everythingrather than going inside and finding
that strength within us 100%.
And that's really thedifference between confidence and
(33:40):
self confidence, whichoftentimes gets confused and intermingled.
There are two types ofconfidence that we have, and in our
life.
We're taught to build general confidence.
What I call micro confidence.
In the book, it's exactly whatyou're talking about, Shelley.
It's confident in external things.
I'm confident as a singer, I'mconfident as a speaker.
(34:02):
I'm confident when it comes tocoding and technology, you know,
whatever it is.
We're taught to build a lot ofaccolades and confidence in things
and degrees and certificationsand subjects, whatever that is.
But all of those things areexternal and they exist outside of
you.
And the problem with anythingthat exists outside of you is that
it will inevitably change.
(34:23):
And will it?
When it does change.
We saw this during COVID for example.
We had people around the worldthat all of those external confidences
fell apart and guess what happened?
The person fell apart.
We had people come to us andsay, who am I?
What value do I bring to the world?
I don't know what my value andmy identity is anymore.
Because they spent theirentire life building micro confidence,
(34:46):
just the general confidenceversus what I call macro confidence,
also known as self confidence,which is that inner belief that you
are enough simply because you exist.
It's the belief that failureis research to success.
And in order for you to growin life, you have to have the polar
right of failure and success.
(35:07):
That's the only way you canunderstand what success is.
It's the understanding thatperfectionism creates procrastination
which prevents you from your potential.
Macro self confidence teachesus that we are more than what we
accumulate externally.
And when you're able to buildmacro level confidence, you're able
(35:29):
to build more micro level confidence.
I use myself as an examplewith the story that I gave earlier.
I lost everything.
As I mentioned, I had $100buried both of my parents.
I was in my lowest baby point.
I knew nothing about buildinga business.
So from the micro side ofthings, it was completely depleted.
Right?
No money, no job, no car, nohouse, no business degree, no concept,
(35:54):
no knowledge on what it tookto build a business.
But because I had the macroconfidence from my parents and I
had an inner belief that myidentity and who I am is not attached
to those things, I was able tolearn the microconfidence of building
the business.
I was able to learn how tobuild a podcast.
I was able to learn aboutgetting out there and networking
(36:16):
and all of these things thattoday created the business.
That was amazing that you hadthat kind of insight.
I'm not sure at 27, I wouldhave done as well with everything
either.
Yeah, with everything.
I'm very impressed with you.
I can't tell you.
Like, holy smokes, man.
Yeah, with everything thatcame at you.
I mean, those are some serioustragedies that would rock most people's
(36:40):
worlds at any age.
Yeah, I mean, I.
It definitely rocked me.
I.
Emotionally, you know, it wasvery difficult for me, especially
when I lost my mother, becauseshe really suffered.
You know, she was diagnosedwith stage four cancer out of nowhere.
And anyone that has had towatch a family member or a parent
pass from cancer, it's just.
(37:02):
It's brutal and it'sheartbreaking and it's.
Yes, it's definitely astruggle, but I think that, you know,
I'm going back to the life.
Life does not discriminate.
And all of us have certainthings in life that just constantly
kick us in the teeth.
And I think for me, I just, Ihad to have a lot of conversations
with myself around what typeof woman do I want to be and how
(37:25):
do I want to show up in the world?
And there was also a part ofme that didn't want the loss of my
parents to go to waste.
You know, I didn't want mypain to go to no good.
So in that moment of sufferingand pain, I just reminded myself,
okay, like you can either it'sa ball of energy and the ball of
(37:47):
energy is either going to goto good or it's going to go nowhere
and go to bad.
And so I just decided torechannel that energy into something
that can serve me and canserve the world and make a bigger
impact.
Bravo to you.
Stay tuned for more of WomenRoad Warriors.
Coming up.
(38:11):
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Our safety champions, thewomen of trucking, independent contractors,
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(38:32):
media.
Learn more@truckingmovesamerica.com.
Welcome back to Women Roadwarriors with Shelly Johnson and
Kathy Tucaro.
If you're just tuning in,we've been talking about something
(38:53):
that impacts every single oneof us.
Emotional Intelligence.
Our guest, Natalina Nasserdineis the powerhouse founder and CEO
of Rise up for your.
She's the Author of the 1bestseller, Emotional the Path to
Fulfillment, Influence andGreater Success.
We've been exploring whyemotional regulation and self awareness
(39:14):
are so important.
That's where ET Comes in.
It's about recognizing ouremotions, building self confidence
and learning to respondinstead of react.
As Netta teaches us, Realgrowth is about self coaching and
taking ownership of how weshow up in the world.
And today Netta is giving usthe tools to do just that.
(39:34):
You have accomplished so verymuch and you've helped a lot of people
and you've spoken with somepowerhouse people, Tony Robbins,
Les Brown, Adam Grant, Sharon Lecter.
And you also have a number onebestseller, Emotional Intelligence,
the Path to Fulfillment,Influence and Greater Success.
I wanted to touch on that book.
What are some of the thingsthat people can learn from that book?
(39:56):
Oh, so this.
Thank you for asking.
Thank you for asking thatbecause that book launched end of
January was a number onebestseller before it launched and
it was not written by ChatGPT everyone.
There's a lot of heavy liftingin there.
Well, here's what I'll sayabout the book.
Soft skills in general,emotional intelligence, self confidence,
(40:20):
leadership, influential communication.
It's not something that youcan just learn concepts on.
You won't createtransformation and you won't create
change like that.
And so one of the things thatI really love about the book, even
though I wrote it, is that 85%of it is pen to paper.
Because in order for you tocreate transformation in these skills,
you need to experience them inyour body.
(40:41):
And so the book is very empowering.
There's stories in there,there's clients stories in there.
I mean, we really, we reallyshare the stories that we're dealing
with on a day to day basis.
My team and I, I have about 16team members right now.
And every single day we're inthe trenches with companies and leaders
and, and doing this work.
And so we put a lot ofempowering stories in there that
(41:01):
are true.
But then we immediately gointo action steps and strategies
in the book so that the readercan start to create transformation
and shift.
We need to be able to take theskills that we're teaching and move
it past the frontal part ofyour brain.
We need to take it all the wayback to the limbic system where the
(41:22):
change actually happens.
And so that's one of the greatthings that I really love about the
book.
But you will learn pretty indepth about emotional and social
intelligence.
You'll learn about the fourbranches that I talked about earlier.
Self awareness, selfmanagement, social awareness, relationship
management, and then each oneof those branches has additional
(41:42):
competencies that come off ofthat branch.
And so in total, there's 18different competencies in emotional
intelligence.
This book breaks down everyone of those competencies and it
provides strategies for everyone of those competencies so that
you can actually create ashift in your life as a person and
as a professional.
(42:04):
Wow.
So emotional intelligence, itisn't covered a lot.
Are there some cliff notes youcould share on how to accomplish
it?
The very first thing I wouldsay is going back to what we discussed
earlier is self assessment.
If you go to our website,riseitforyou.com and you click on
the free resource button,there's an emotional intelligence
(42:25):
quiz there.
It's completely free.
My recommendation is the firstthing you do is you take the emotional
intelligence quiz and then yousend it to seven to ten people that
you trust that are going togive you Honest, real feedback.
And you have them take thatassessment, like on you so that you
can see the difference.
That's the very first step,because in order for you to create
(42:48):
change, you have to understandwhat areas of your life need change.
Otherwise it feels very overwhelming.
Right.
There's 18 competencies inemotional intelligence.
So I'll give you an example.
Every year I do an assessment.
That's the first thing.
And I give it to my entireteam, my entire company.
Every year, I score like anine and a half, 10 out of 10 on
(43:08):
confidence.
So that's not a.
That's not an area that I'mgonna put my energy into or focus
into because according to myteam and according to myself, my
confidence is pretty highbecause I, you know, again, I was
taught that at a young age.
But, you know, the area thatdoes tend to get the lowest score
that I'm actively working onis empathy.
Right.
Because I'm a business owner,I move at a certain pace.
(43:32):
Sometimes when you are anentrepreneur and a past executive,
you're wired a little bit differently.
You have certain expectationsand standards.
And so active listening andempathy are the two areas that my
team suggests I work on.
And so that's the first stepthat you need in order to build emotional
intelligence is justunderstanding where the work should
(43:52):
begin.
And empathy is a tough onebecause you're kind of trying to
put yourself in somebodyelse's shoes.
Yeah.
And not only putting yourselfin someone else's shoes, but being
empathetic without losing expectations.
That's one of the hardestthings for leaders today, is how
do I be empathetic to my teamwithout letting the standards get
(44:14):
watered down or theexpectations of the organization
fall by the wayside.
And so it's reallyunderstanding how to communicate
with empathy whilst at thesame time letting the team member
know or the person or whoeverit is that you're sitting in front
of, that A, B and C still needto happen.
And so how do we marry the two together?
Empathy plus the expectations.
(44:36):
So how would a leader approach that?
Say there's an employee thatneeds to improve, but you can appreciate
their situation.
How would they handle thatwith empathy?
The first thing that I woulddo is role play a conversation.
I always tell leaders, ifyou're going to have a conversation
that requires empathy, butmaybe you don't agree, or maybe there's
(44:57):
still certain things that needto happen.
Prepare for the conversation,role play the conversation, because
remember, it goes back tocommunication and having the right
language.
And so it's important for youthat you're able to map out in your
mind.
I even write it down sometimesbeing able to acknowledge, you know,
first I hear where you'recoming from, I understand how challenging
(45:19):
this can be.
And then working together totry to solve it, where the team member
feels like they're beingheard, but that the leader or the
company also feel that thebenchmark or whatever is needed is
getting done.
And obviously it's a case bycase situation.
It depends on the severity ofthe organization.
But I think this happens a lotin organizations is again, we let
(45:42):
things fall apart becausegoing back to that self confidence
leaders want to be liked.
There's a lot of leaders thatwant to be liked.
They don't want to disrupttheir team.
They're afraid to haveconscious conversations.
Believe it or not, we workwith a lot of leaders that really
struggle with having consciousconversations, but their team is
depending on them to have them.
(46:03):
Yeah, it's intimidating.
Leaders are in a powerposition and they literally hold
somebody else's life in their hands.
If an employee is notperforming properly and hasn't been
for a while, then they've gotthis quandary.
It's like, you really likethat employee, but maybe they're
not working out in the company.
(46:23):
That's a hard one.
Some people may be morecomfortable with it, but I think
a lot of people don't like that.
Yeah.
And again, it goes back to that.
Creating the shift in you.
It's normal to be uncomfortable.
And I think we just need toget comfortable with being uncomfortable
because that's where thechange happens.
And we have to go back to thatpiece of self confidence of realizing
(46:44):
that it's okay if it doesn'tturn out the way that you want.
It's okay if you're not liked.
It's okay if you know, you'rea little bit of a disruptor.
That's all a part of the process.
And the more we can getcomfortable with that, the better
we're going to be able tocommunicate and create change.
And I think ultimately, at theend of the day, most people want
(47:05):
to have a positive impact notonly on themselves, but on their
team.
Do you think women are morehung up on being liked than men?
It's a really good question.
I think so.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I would say before I startedthe company, I would have said yes.
Now that I run the company andmy team and I work with thousands
(47:30):
of professionals every year, Iwould say no.
They just deal with it differently.
They deal with it differently.
I happen to coach a lot ofmale executives and it's the same
story that I hear with myfemale executives.
They just cope with it differently.
They tend to assert more ormaybe be a little bit more aggressive
(47:54):
when they are struggling withpeople pleasing or wanting to be
like or healthy boundaries.
And women deal with it alittle bit differently.
They tend to become morepassive, maybe they break more boundaries,
they hit burnout.
So the behaviors are a littlebit different, but the symptom of
people pleasing and wanting tobe liked for the most part is across
(48:15):
the board.
Okay, interesting.
So, Neta, where do people find you?
What kind of services can theyget from your website and from you?
And where do they find your book?
Well, thank you so much forasking that question.
This has been a great conversation.
If you go to riseupforyou.comthere's a ton of free resources.
Just click the free Resource tab.
(48:36):
You can get the emotionalIntelligence quiz, the self confidence
quiz, and the masterclass forboth of them completely free.
You can also follow us onsocial media at RiseUp4U and I'll
just say, you know, if you'rean individual and any of this resonated
with you and you want moresupport, just go to our website and
click on the informative call.
Or if you're an executive anda leader and you think that this
(48:59):
would be useful for your team,you know, the coaching, the team
training, the leadership workshops.
Again, just click on theinformative call and our team are
happy to speak with you.
And then other than that, youcan follow me and connect with me
personally.
Netalina Nasserdine onLinkedIn primarily is what I use
and I do my own social media,so if you send me a message, I will
be the one to respond to you.
(49:20):
That's excellent.
Thank you.
I think a lot of people can beempowered by your message.
This is really powerful.
Yeah, I'm empowered.
I'm going to work.
I'm like, come on, bring it.
That's right, Netta.
We need more people like youto empower people so they can reach
inside themselves, get thatinner strength, that confidence,
and maybe have more empathy.
(49:42):
Because I think in many waysour world needs more of that.
I agree.
We're so connected today, butsomehow we've lost that empathy.
You see so much stuff onsocial media.
It's like, oh, my.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I always say we're moreconnected than we've ever been, but
we're more disconnected thanwe've ever been.
(50:04):
Yeah.
And it's almost like it'sbrought out the bully culture because
people don't see each othereye to eye, they're sitting behind
a device and they say thingsthey probably wouldn't do on a face
to face basis.
Absolutely.
It's the communication.
They found a new way tocommunicate in a way that is less
(50:25):
scary than if they were to doit in person.
Yeah.
It brings out the bullies andthe cowards.
Yeah.
And I think there's a methodin that as well.
Online is learning how to kindof disconnect from some of that online,
because it can, it can createa lot of pain inside and a lot of
compromise.
And so I think people have tobe wise enough to understand, you
(50:48):
know, what to listen to, whatto consume on social media, and what
not to consume on social media.
I totally agree, Neta.
Your wisdom is terrific.
Thank you so much for being onthe show with us.
Thank you so much for having me.
I enjoyed speaking to both ofyou and it's been my honor today.
We hope you've enjoyed thislatest episode.
And if you want to hear moreepisodes of Women Road warriors or
(51:11):
learn more about our show, besure to check out womenroadwarriors.com
and please follow us on social media.
And don't forget to subscribeto our podcast.
Women Road warriors is on allthe major podcast channels like Apple,
Spotify, Amazon, Audible,YouTube, and others.
Check us out and please followus wherever you listen to podcasts.
(51:32):
Thanks for listening.
You've been listening to WomenRoad warriors with Shelly Johnson
and Kathy Tucaro.
If you want to be a guest onthe show or have a topic or feedback,
you email us@sjohnsonomenroadwarriors.com.
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