January 7, 2025 • 48 mins
Sometimes women and moms feel like they have lost themselves and their dreams. They need a way to rekindle that spark and joy they used to have. Rachel Marie Martin helps women find these. She is the author of the book Getting Your Spark Back. She is also the writer behind FindingJoy.net and the author of Mom Enough and The Brave Art of Motherhood. She has been interviewed by CBS, Disney, Good Morning America, The Huffington Post, and many others. She helps women find deep joy in the little moments and rediscover their dreams. She challenges people to break cycles, remove their masks, and not let fear take control. She teaches them to pause to see the joy. Tune into her incredible insight in this episode of Women Road Warriors with Shelley Johnson and Kathy Tuccaro.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
This is Women Road warriorswith Shelly.
Johnson and Kathy Tucaro.
From the corporate office tothe cab of a truck, they're here
to inspire and empower womenin all professions. So gear down,
sit back and enjoy. Welcome.We're an award winning show today
(00:26):
dedicated to empowering womenin every profession through inspiring
stories and expert insights.No topics off limits on our show.
We power women on the road tosuccess with expert and celebrity
interviews and information youneed. I'm Shelly and this is Kathy.
Sometimes women and moms feellike they've lost themselves and
(00:48):
their dreams. They need a wayto rekindle that spark that they
used to have. Rachel MarieMartin is the author of the book
Getting youg Spark Back. She'sthe writer behind findingjoy.net
and the author of Mom Enoughand the Brave Art of Motherhood.
Rachel's been interviewed bycbs, Disney, Good Morning America,
(01:08):
the Huffington Post, and manyothers. She helps women find deep
joy in the little moments andrediscover their dreams. She challenges
people to break cycles, takeoff their masks and not let fear
take control. Rachel's on theshow today to share some of her incredible
insights with us. Welcome, Rachel.
I'm very honored to be here.So thank you so much for having me.
(01:31):
This is going to be an awesomediscussion. I thought before we explore
what you're doing, we couldcover a little bit of your background.
What motivated you to speak upabout these things to help other
women?
You know, for me it was, I,I've always been a storyteller. I've
always been that kind ofintuitive spirit. That's what I like
to say. But I found my, myselfstuck and trapped and in a life that
(01:54):
I thought I was the only one.I was in a marriage that wasn't very
healthy and I was in, we, wehad severe financial problems. And
when you think you're the onlyone, it's very hard to change. And
I, I finally decided, you knowwhat, I'm going to start to share
my real and my real life withpeople and started writing. And I
realized first of all, Iwasn't alone. And I also realized
(02:16):
that once you start to share,once you remove that mask that you,
that you talked about in thatintro, all of a sudden you're spending
more time being able to fixthings than you are trying to kind
of maintain status quo orhiding and letting people not see
your inner world. And I'vejust got this passion for women about
living a very authentic, fullof joy life.
(02:40):
Well, I'm seeing that yourbooks are things like tough, no Excuses,
ways of approaching life whileallowing breathing room and grace
for yourself. Grace, Gosh,that. I. I don't think a lot of people
allow themselves grace, do they?
No, no. And, you know, it's.It was very funny about that. Is
the universe, whatever youwant to call it, knew that I needed
(03:01):
to learn about grace because Ihave a daughter named Grace who has
taught me a tremendous amountabout the word grace. And grace.
We. We. It's kind of anoverlooked word. And grace is the
ability to say, you know what,I did a good job today and I'm proud
of myself, or, you know what?I stumbled, and I'm still proud of
myself. I'm going to stand upagain. And we give grace to our friends
(03:25):
and so often forget to give itto ourselves.
Oh, gosh. Is that true? Ithink that the truth. Women, I think
women are really hard onthemselves. They don't give themselves
that pat on the back that theydeserve. And a lot of times they
don't get the pat on the backfrom other people.
No, no, you're exactly right.And I think probably that's one of
(03:47):
the things I love about what Iget to do is I would write and say
to moms, like, I'm going togive you the gold star today. You
know, our kids would get goldstars at school. And it's such a
simple way to acknowledgesomebody, to say, you know what?
I see you, I appreciate whatyou're doing. And it's very powerful
in someone's story.
(04:07):
You know, it's interesting.You talk about gold stars. I used
to get those with my pianoteacher. She'd put them on the sheet
music if I did really well.And I remember actually thinking,
once I became an adult, Idon't get any gold stars anymore,
you know?
Right, right. And they'renice, they're fun. I loved the gold
star moments. And we. We needto give. Remind ourselves of it.
(04:29):
Just because we're an adultdoesn't mean that we should ignore
the stuff that we do. It'sbeing proud of our stories. Really.
Oh, absolutely. So where didyou come up with all of this wonderful
insight?
I would say I'm a thinker.I'm, like I said in the beginning,
intuitive empath, that kind offeeling. And I tell other people
(04:52):
that I have the ability toarticulate what we are all thinking.
One of the greatestcompliments or comments that I get
is, how did you know what Iwas thinking? How did you know it
was in my head? How do youknow how I'm feeling? And I feel
like One of my purpose on thisearth, on this planet, is to be the
voice of what we're thinking.But sometimes we don't even know
(05:14):
how to express. And it's. Forme, it's just being able to listen
to it, and then when thethoughts come, being able to write
it without judging it. Becauseas soon as you start to judge the
thoughts or what we'refeeling, it starts to morph and change.
Oh, maybe I shouldn't thinkthat way. Or maybe that's what will
people think. But there isthis rawness, if you can capture
(05:36):
it in that moment, there'sthat realness which transcends across
the Internet. That's thethings and the articles where people
say, you know how I feel.
Your titles are verycompelling and definitely honor motherhood,
which. That's one of thetoughest careers anybody can have.
When you think about it, thereare no instructions. I mean, when
(05:56):
we go to a job, we getinstructions. We get an sop. Standard
Operating Procedures. Thereisn't such a thing with kids.
No, No. I have this picture ofmy oldest. The day that we brought
her home from the hospital,and I had put her on a blanket and
she was crying. And I rememberthinking, well, now what? Like, I
(06:18):
didn't know what to do next.And no matter how much I thought
I knew, I didn't know. And.And mothers, we just do the best
that we can. And that's wherethe grace comes in. There's no manual
for it. I didn't know how toraise a toddler until I raised a
toddler.
Yeah, it's day by day. It'slike, well, this is a new adventure.
(06:39):
How am I going to handle this one?
And none of them are the sameeither. So you think you figure it
out, and then another one,you're like, nope, that's not going
to work.
Yeah, they're not cookiecutter. You can have multiple children
in a family, and they all are different.
Yeah, it's. It's a beautifulstory. It's a beautiful adventure.
But sometimes when you're inthe midst, you're thinking, you just
(07:01):
have to kind of go with yourgut. And I. I love to remind moms
that you're really doing thebest you can. Most of us wake up
and we think, you know what?I'm gonna try my best. Nobody thinks
I'm gonna make today the worstday ever. And that little reminder,
actually, is quite encouragingfor people. Like, we try. We definitely
do.
(07:21):
Where do you think moms runamok? Your titles, The Brave Art
of Motherhood. That'sappropriate and mom enough because
that's really appropriate.Women are always trying to do more
and more and more. What aresome of the things that women run
into that where they run amokand they lose their joy and they
lose sight of who they are.
(07:42):
It's the busyness ofmotherhood. Motherhood is a great,
it's a sacrifice you're givingall the time. And there comes a spot
sometimes where we lose ourown stories within it. And I really
don't believe it's anintentional thing. I believe we just
get so busy and we, when westart to lose who we are and the
joys that we have, then therecan be this kind of loss of self
(08:05):
that, that this kind ofwondering, am I enough or am I doing
a good job? Or we feel likewe're failing. And for me, for moms,
I always remind them that wenever feel guilt about putting our
kids appointments on theschedule. And we, we know that it's
sometimes when we take timefor ourselves, then there's the guilt,
(08:26):
oh, I shouldn't do that. Ihave to do everything else. But if
we're not taking care ofourselves, it's very, very challenging
to have that energy to knowthat we're enough and give to everybody
else. So I strongly encouragemoms take time, schedule time for
yourselves because you're justas important.
Oh, absolutely.
It's very critical that wetake that time. I know I, I never
(08:50):
did. And I was just so busytrying to, you know, be a young nurse
and a single mom with a littlethree year old, trying to advance
my education and try and, youknow, teach her. She had a bit of
a learning disability growing,you know, in kindergarten and it
was really tough. And to behonest, I got lost. I just couldn't,
(09:13):
I didn't have any guidancegrowing up and with, I had really
dysfunctional family. So, youknow, and I was at the other end
of Canada all by myself withthis little girl and trying to figure
this out. Oh my God, it was sohard, so, so hard. And I'm really
grateful I only had the one. Imean, had I had more, it would have
been, I think even a really,even harder. So I understand these
(09:37):
parents that have these youngmothers that have end up single with
three, four kids and they'retrying to, you know, raise them and
work and do this. It's easy tolose yourself because the, the stress
of life, especially in thisday and age is just brutal.
It is brutal. And I, I reallybelieve because of social media,
while there's so many benefitsthat but there's. We don't talk about
(10:00):
sometimes the hard because weonly see the good a lot. And I celebrate
the good. I. I tell moms allthe time, celebrate the good because
when you have good, you wantyour friends to rally around you.
But so often we don't talkabout how hard things can be that
seem like they wouldn't behard. Like, I remember when my kids
(10:20):
were little and that constantmom, mom, mom, that kneading or something
spilling and it was like apressure cooker and I couldn't understand
why it felt so hard. And thenI would feel guilty about it. And
so when we can demystify, itis hard.
It's.
It's definitely hard sometimesat someone waking up at 3am throwing
(10:41):
up. That's not, that's notreally probably that much fun. And
I like to talk about the real.I like to talk about those moments
and say it's hard. It'sdefinitely there are hard days and
you've made them through yourtrack record for surviving them.
It's a hundred percent.There's also really good days and
motherhood is a balance of allof them. And it's noble and beautiful
(11:04):
in the good days, the harddays and the normal days.
I like that it is a balance.You're doing a balancing act. I mean,
you really are a trapezeartist and sometimes you aren't sure
what direction you're going tobe heading and you don't want to
lose your balance.
Right? And you said it, younailed it when you said it's a balancing
act. There's really never apoint in life where you're at balance,
(11:27):
balance because life throwsyou things. You're just constantly
balancing, giving over here,giving over there. Something new
happens. And when you look atit like that kind of undulating wave,
it takes the pressure off of,if I just do this, then life will
be chill. Just knowing youjust. You're just gonna go through
(11:48):
balancing and you. It's anactive kind of. Active effort of
living.
Do you think men get whatwomen go through as moms?
I believe. Well, I'm not aman, so I, I always say I can't really
tell. People ask me often,like you should, why don't you write
for men? And I. That's what Isay. Because I don't know the perspective.
(12:08):
I believe it's probablydifferent. I believe that their,
their perspectives, theirwhatever expectations, whether right
or wrong, that society puts onthem is different than what we feel.
And. But I do believe thatwhatever their journey is, their
struggles, we you know, wecan't compare them and rank them.
(12:31):
And that one of the mostpowerful things that we can do, whether
you're a mom or a dad, is justrecognizing where you're. Where somebody's
at with it. Recognizing, okay,you're feeling overwhelmed right
now, or I'm feelingoverwhelmed and what can I do? And
maybe not be the person thatfixes it, but the person that just
listens and hears it and thensays, hey, is there something I can
(12:54):
do to help?
Women like to talk things out,and they need a good listener. They
need somebody who can empathize.
Yes, they do. They do. I. I amvery thankful for my. My women friends,
for my friends that are justwilling to sit in a circle with me
and listen. I have ameditation group that I go to about
quarterly, and one of therules in it is after, at a certain
(13:19):
point, everybody just shares.And when somebody's done sharing,
you say, everyone says, thankyou for sharing. There's no, like,
kind of input back and forth,too. It's just allowing us to get
out all that stuff that we'recarrying with us without the expectation
of even needing it fixed. Justbeing willing to just get it out
and have someone that'swilling to receive it.
(13:41):
Yeah. It validates how you're feeling.
It does, it does. It's justalmost like you're not being judged
by it. There's no judgment init, and there's nobody giving the
even. You know, people willsay, are you open to a different
perspective in other groupsthat I've been in, and I love that
question of, are you. Do you.Are you willing to hear something
else? Because then you cansay, you know what? Yes, I would
(14:04):
love to hear something else.Or no, I just needed to get it out.
Stay tuned for more of womenroad warriors coming up.
Dean Michael, the tax doctorhere. I have one question for you.
Do you want to stop worryingabout the irs? If the answer is yes,
(14:25):
then look no further. I'vebeen around for years. I've helped
countless people across thecountry, and my success rate speaks
for itself. So now you knowwhere to find good, honest help with
your tax problems. What areyou waiting for? If you owe more
than $10,000 to the IRS orhaven't filed in years, call me now
at 888-5575 or go tomytaxhelpmd.com for a free consultation.
(14:47):
And get your life back.Industry movement. Trucking moves
America Forward is telling thestory of the industry. Our safety
champions, the women oftrucking. Independent contractors.
The next generation ofTruckers and more. Help us promote
the best of our industry.Share your story and what you love
about trucking, Share imagesof a moment you're proud of and join
(15:09):
us on social media. Learn more@truckingmovesamerica.com.
Welcome back to Women Roadwarriors with Shelly Johnson and
Kathy Taccaro.
If you're enjoying thisinformative episode of Women Road
(15:30):
Warriors, I wanted to mentionKathy and I explore all kinds of
topics that will power you onthe road to success. We feature a
lot of expert interviews, pluswe feature celebrities and women
who've been trailblazers.Please check out our podcast@womenroadwarriors.com
and click on our Episodespage. We're also available wherever
you listen to podcasts on allthe major podcast channels like Spotify,
(15:53):
Apple, YouTube, Amazon, Music,Audible, you name it. Check us out
and bookmark our podcast.Also, don't forget to follow us on
social media. We're onTwitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest,
LinkedIn, YouTube, and othersites and tell others about us. We
want to help as many women aspossible. Rachel Marie Martin is
(16:14):
the writer behind the sitefindingjoy.net and the author of
both Mom Enough and the BraveArt of Motherhood. She's a founding
partner in AudienceIndustries, a company that's designed
to train and equipentrepreneurs in their ventures.
Her latest book is Gettingyour spark back. Rachel's articles
have been translated into over25 languages. Her site reaches millions
(16:36):
of visitors per month. Rachelbelieves in the power of the human
spirit to overcome, thrive,and find deep joy. She offers valuable
perspectives on how women canbalance their personal and professional
lives authentically and fullof joy. It's a matter of having a
tough, no excuses way ofapproaching life and the ability
(16:57):
to give grace to ourselves. Weneed to acknowledge ourselves and
others. We need to remindourselves of our own power and give
ourselves gold star moments.It's easy to lose sight of our stories,
especially when we'rebalancing motherhood with a career.
That's when we begin towonder, am I enough? We need to be
(17:17):
proud of our stories and ouraccomplishments. According to Rachel,
she's giving us some greatinsight. Rachel, your perspective
on finding joy in the littlethings that can get so lost and especially
if you've got so many thingsgoing on and you've got all of these
demands. It's easy to getreally angry and maybe even resentful.
(17:40):
Have you encountered that withwomen? They love their kids, but
sometimes they resent the factthat they're stuck in this and especially
if they're a single mom or ifthey don't have the support system.
Yeah. And we don't talk aboutresentful because we judge ourselves
with it. We, we. If we feelingresentment, we're thinking, I'm a
bad mom. I'm a terrible. Like,that's the thought process that goes.
(18:04):
And it might not even beresentful about them. It's just the
experience that you're in.It's the situation that you're in.
And I always remind moms,women, that it's an emotion that
you're feeling. It's not whoyou are. You're not feel. You're.
You're feeling resentful.You're not resentful as a person.
And when we can separate thatand go, it's this emotion. What's
(18:26):
the next best emotion I canchoose? Or what's this emotion actually
trying to teach me? Maybe theresentful isn't about that, but maybe
it's trying to say you need tochange things up a little bit or
you need to try to findsupport or something different. And
it's being gracious withyourself about the emotion versus
judging the emotion andjudging yourself.
(18:48):
You're giving peoplepermission to feel.
Yes. Yes. Permission to feel.Because I really believe the way
I grew up. And I don't know,maybe it wasn't, but it was. There
wasn't this talk about thefeelings. I was always told, stop
being so overly sensitive. Andthat was how I feel. And what's funny
(19:08):
about the sensitivity part isthat's what I tell people is my superpower
now is the ability to tap intohow I feel. And I really value. Let's
express how we feel. Doesn'tmean we have to stay there. It doesn't
mean that you stay in thatspot. It's just getting it out. Because
otherwise it's just. It's justfestering in us.
(19:31):
Oh, gosh. And it certainlycan. And then it becomes a volcano.
Yes. Yes, it does.
And depending on thesituation, it could be a really ugly
volcano.
Yes. I've had those. I'veexperienced those volcanoes in life.
Yes.
You know, I had to relearn howto find joy in life. I. I was at
(19:53):
the age of 40. I ended uphaving a big burnout from. Just from
life. I experienced so muchtrauma and hardships, and I just
had put it all away in a safelittle box inside and pretended everything
was fine. And I had somereally harsh things happen to me
in life and just, you know,didn't deal with it until the one
(20:15):
day where I was forced to dealwith it. What's that, that, that
quote that if you don't maketime for your wellness, you'll have
to make time for your illness.If you don't make time for your,
well, you'll have to make timefor your illness or something like
that. Anyway, that's where Iended up and I found myself in this
women's center. It was a faithbased program for you live for a
(20:36):
year and you unlearn all yourtrauma and then you relearn who you
are. And then the hardest partfor me was accepting it, but how
awesome I am, but you know,all my qualities and who Kathy really
is at the age of 40. But allthis to say is that it's in that
program where I learned toaccept compliments. There was a whole
(20:57):
month in that thing in thatprogram where every woman we had
to give each other complimentsand say thank you and nothing else
because, you know, beingbroken, anyone would say, you look
good today. I'm like, no, Idon't. You know, it was an automatic
thing. So part of that programwas learning to find joy in the smallest
possible things. We had toactually make a list every day of
(21:20):
what it was that we found joyin. And it was hard because we're
in a treatment center likeMonday to Friday, 9 to 4 is our recovery.
We had self esteem, we hadboundaries with codependency, we
had anger management, we had,you know, sexual abuse recovery group.
We had all these things. So,and we're with. There was 25 women
from all walks of life and itwas really difficult. How do you
(21:43):
find joy in that? Well, I tellyou that time there has enabled me
to actually slow down when I'moverwhelmed and look at wherever
I am, even if it's in the mindin the middle of night shift, I'll
find joy in the northernlights, in the star, in the moon,
in the way the clouds are, oreven enjoying the piece of equipment
(22:09):
that I'm running. I had tolearn to break it down into smaller
doses and smaller bites inorder to appreciate those moments
so that when the bigger thingscame, it even became better. So I'm
very grateful for that.
Well, you made me very, veryteary when you were telling that
because it's such a, such apowerful story and it's such a powerful
(22:32):
truth about life. I, I've saidso many times that nobody puts in
their high school yearbook.You know what would be fun is when
I'm 40, I'm going to gothrough a divorce or whatever it
May be, but we all have thesestories, these moments that kind
of break us. And you're rightabout joy finding joy. It's an active
(22:53):
choice. It's not just joydoesn't just fall in your lap. It's
choosing to see good in a lifethat might not be what you expected,
and it's being willing toappreciate. Like you said, the Northern
Lights. Growing up inMinnesota, there were a couple times
where we got to see them. AndI remember my father waking us up
(23:14):
in the middle of the night andus going out to see them. And I'm
so grateful for that becausethose. That little thing that was
out of my control, theseNorthern Lights, was joy. It was
given to me in that moment.But most of the time we're so busy,
we don't see it. We don't evenknow. And here in Tennessee, oh,
the Northern lights ended updown here. And I remember all. All
(23:39):
of our neighbors, we all cameoutside and we saw them, and it was
like, again, joy was rightthere. But we had to make the choice
to come out of our house, tostop the busy and then to go see
the universe and what's outthere. And it was exquisite. And
that's the joy part, is youcan miss it. I could have missed
(23:59):
that moment by staying in thehouse, and it would have been right
outside.
I think a lot of people missjoy today because they're stuck on
their devices.
Yeah, I would say so. I wouldsay the devices create a place where
we can be busy and whether,you know, people could be busy all
the time. And I'm. I love thedevices for the connectivity that
(24:22):
it gives us, but I alsorecognize there is that moment where
you have to put it down andexperience something without it.
Like a concert. My husband andI, we went to see Tears for Fears
because I grew up loving them.And I remember thinking, I'm not
going to record this. We'regoing to experience this moment.
I have waited for this momentmy entire life, to hear them play
(24:45):
that openings, that openingpart. And it could be very easy to
think, I'm just going to tryto save that memory versus just experience
the memory. And that's thepowerful thing about setting them
down. There are some momentsin life that you don't need to record
it. You don't need to evenhave it again. It's the memory that's
imprinted within you.
(25:05):
That's right. And that's powerful.
It's pretty fascinating. Likethat memory of the Northern Lights
with my dad. No devices there.I just remember the sleeping bags
on the side of the hill andlaying in dewy grass and watching
them with my dad and my siblings.
Some of the most wonderfulthings in life can't be recorded,
can't be put on an electronicdevice. It's out there. We miss it
(25:30):
if we're always myopic orwe're too consumed with all the minutiae.
And I think when you're a mom,that's easy to get stuck in that
whirlwind and miss out on allof those things that make life so
wonderful.
It is. And it's a. Well,here's the. The discipline is deciding.
(25:54):
I'm going to. I'm going tolook for joy today. I'm going to
find something that's goodtoday. And for moms, I tell them
all the time, you need to knowthe season you're in. If you've got
young kids, it's a verydifferent story than me right now
with my youngest being almost15, it's much easier for me to step
out, to pause to see the joy.When they're younger, the pause might
(26:17):
be 15 seconds, but you stillhave to be disciplined to find them
and then to say, these are themoments that my grandmother would
talk about when she was 80,talking to me about raising kids.
She didn't talk about thegiant moments. She would talk about
these very simple littlethings that mattered to her. And
(26:37):
those are the moments that Itried to remember, tried to see,
tried to recognize when I hadyounger kids, and I still do today.
She was a wise lady.
She was. She was wonderful.You know, what's cool is at one point,
here's a little hidden tidbitabout me that most people don't know
is I learned how to play thechurch organ, so I could play two
(26:59):
keyboards and my feet couldplay. And my grandmother gave me
a hymnal that was a specialone for people that did that, stayed
open and wrote in it. Well,about seven to maybe about a decade
ago, I found the hymnal. Mygrandmother had died years prior,
and in it she had written, mayyou live a life of finding joy. And
(27:21):
my jaw dropped because that'severything I do and write about.
Isn't that amazing?
Yeah.
Wow.
Fortuitous. Your grandmothersaw something.
Yes, she was. She was just.She was a wonderful, wonderful. It's
making me teary thinking abouther. She. She died in 1998, a week
(27:42):
before my daughter was born.And my daughter has her middle name.
And one of my favoritepictures is of my grandfather, her
husband holding mygranddaughter or her holding his
granddaughter, my daughter.
That's so cool.
Life keeps passing on,generation after generation.
So it does. It does. And it'sthose little things that people remember.
(28:03):
Definitely provides the fabricof life, the tapestry. It's a rich
tapestry if we can only weavein all of those little things. And
your books really, I think, dogive people that perspective.
Stay tuned for more of WomenRoad warriors coming up.
(28:27):
Dean Michael, the tax doctorhere. I have one question for you.
Do you want to stop worryingabout the irs? If the answer is yes,
then look no further. I'vebeen around for years. I've helped
countless people across thecountry, and my success rate speaks
for itself. So now you knowwhere to find good, honest help with
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Welcome back to Women Roadwarriors with Shelly Johnson and
(29:32):
Kathy Tucaro.
It's okay to feel. It'simportant to tap into how we feel
and express how we feel.Release that negative emotion from
time to time so it doesn'tfester inside of us. These are some
of the recommendations ofRachel Marie Martin, who's The writer
behind findingjoy.net sheoffers insights to moms, entrepreneurs
(29:56):
and all women. As aninternationally published author
whose latest book is Gettingyoug Spark Back, Rachel is also the
author of Mom Enough and theBrave Art of Motherhood. She teaches
women how to find joy again,which is an active choice. Joy just
doesn't fall into our laps.It's a matter of choosing to see
good in a life where you maynot have expected it. Too often we're
(30:19):
too busy to see it and we missthe tidbits and the moments of joy
that can be ours. Sometimes wehave to stop the busy so we can see
and experience joy. We have tostop so we don't miss the wonderful
moments that life can give us.Rachel now your new book, Getting
youg Spark Back. What is thatfocus of that book.
(30:41):
Was inspired by my ownjourney. It's about that moment in
life where you're like, well,what's next? And who am I now? And
is this all there is? And I. Ihad that journey in my own. My own
story. I'd fixed my life, andI was ha. I'm happily remarried.
And it was kind of during thepandemic where all these thoughts
(31:03):
started going through, and.And I went on a journey to figure
out what's the next phase oflife, what's the next thing, and
who am I now? And as a resultof it, people saw my own spark, my
soul get reignited, and Istarted getting all these questions
of, how do I get my sparkback? How do I do that? And what
I love and I've. I've saidover and over is, nobody said, how
(31:27):
do I get a spark? It wasalways, how do I get my spark? Which
is possessive, which meanseach of us has one. And then they
always added the word back.How do I get it back? Which means
you've had it. You know, it'sthere, and how do I re. Nurture it?
Maybe some is just a little.It's just flickering. And I tell
people, as long as you arebreathing on this planet, your spark
(31:48):
is there. And it's our job tofind it again, reignite it, and to
go all in with the years thatwe have ahead of us.
Do you think most people, ofcourse, you can't really categorize,
but do you think that a lot ofwomen get stuck where they feel like
they've lost their spark ormaybe they never even knew it was
(32:08):
there?
I do. I believe that it's auniversal for women and for men,
and we've labeled it differentthings throughout the years. Midlife
crisis or something happens intheir 20s. I really believe what
happens is we get on thistrain ride, we're like, super fast.
And then there comes a momentin life where life isn't what we
(32:29):
thought it would be. Or for alot of people, it was the pandemic
where normal got taken away.And we're like, whoa, what happened
here? Normal's gone. And itgives us a second, a moment to reevaluate.
And in that moment, we'regiven a choice, and we have, what.
What do I want to do now? And.Or maybe we're unhappy. And it's
(32:50):
those moments where we look atlife and we look at our story and
we decide, you know what? Iwant to reclaim who I am. What's
the things that light me up,not the things that the world tells
me I should be doing, butwhat's the thing that lights me up
inside? What is it about me?And I've told people over and over
(33:12):
again that it's the art ofwondering. We encourage our children
wonder. I wonder about this.And as we get older, things kind
of morph into it should beconcrete. I should know I have to
make this decision. And welose that magic of wondering. I wonder
what would happen if I run. Iwonder what would happen if I try
(33:32):
this job. I wonder what wouldhappen. And in that wondering, we
start to get reacquainted withour own soul again.
This book sounds fascinating.I'm seeing here Hassel from Seinfeld,
one of the original writerswrote Rachel Marie Martin has invited
us to find joy, be brave, andnow start a fire in our soul. Her
(33:54):
writing is honest, open, anddeeply insightful about the human
condition. Get yout Spark Backstarts as an ember and builds to
an inspirational brush fire.Stop, drop and roll into the nearest
bookstore to grab a copy foryourself or someone you love. Now,
that's pretty phenomenal forsomebody to write.
It is. You can tell he's awriter, too. Every time I read his
(34:15):
words, I'm like, oh, he's sogood with words. But I'm so grateful
for it. He's. He's seen thestory. And I think every one of us
that has those moments, thosepivot moments in life, we get it.
We get the importance offinding ourselves again. Making,
(34:36):
kind of dealing with the past,not ignoring it, not deciding it
doesn't matter, not any ofthat. Figuring out how to go forward
with our past, living our lifewith our fullest now, and knowing
that we can do these things,we can live a life of joy in the
years that we have left to come.
And there's so much potential,so much out there. Quite often I
(34:59):
think people get stuck in acertain time or age and say, well,
I can't do that. I didn'taccomplish this, so I'm not going
to bother to try. They losesight of their dreams. I've always
tried to live by. I don't knowwhat I'm going to be when I grow
up. I don't consider myselfgrown up yet, you know, Me neither.
I love that.
(35:19):
I absolutely love that. Ithink that's so wise. I. It's. It's
brilliantly wise, actually.
Well, it. There's so muchopportunity. When you think about
it as a child, we imagine. Weimagine ourselves in all kinds of
different roles. We haveimaginary friends and we do all kinds
of things and we kind of inour Minds. I put ourselves in different
(35:41):
positions, and I think that welose sight of that as an adult.
We do. We do. I really believebecause of the pressure of time is
part of it. When we're young,we think in ourselves. I've got 70
years. I can take chances andmake mistakes and all of that. And
then as we get older, I'venoticed in my own life, you see,
(36:02):
like, well, I don't know. Idon't know if I want to do that.
The risk part of it seemsriskier. But then I've realized that
if I get to live as old as mygrandmother that I was talking about,
I don't want to live a life ofregretting and looking back and saying,
you know, I wish I had takenthat risk. I wish I had listened
to that. I wish. And it's sopowerful to watch people kind of
(36:25):
reemerge and to tap back intothe things that they loved. My parents
invested many, many hundredsand hundreds of dollars on piano
lessons and sat by me many,many days, making sure I would practice.
And it ended up that I love toplay piano. And for me now, one of
the things that I love to dothe most is play the piano. It's
(36:48):
not working. It's not being amom. It's not being a wife. It's
something that I love. Andwhat's cool about it is when I do
everybody in my house, like,we love it when you play piano.
Yeah.
And I think it inspirespeople. Maybe I should do something
else. Maybe I should, youknow, reignite my spark. Yeah.
No, I play piano also. Andwhen I do take the time to play,
(37:12):
which I need to get back todoing, it takes you away from the
craziness of life. You'resomewhere else. And in many ways,
probably because I played as achild, maybe it takes me back there
too.
Yeah. There's somethingmagical about music in that way.
I write with music playingbecause I can block out the world
(37:32):
and I can hear my own heart. Ican hear myself think when I'm playing
music, whether I'm listeningto it or playing it with my. With
my hands at the keyboard.
Music's a wonderful timemachine. It will put you back wherever
you'd first heard a song. Ittransports us. It's an incredible
thing.
It definitely does. And you'reexactly right. What I was thinking
(37:55):
about, even my earlierexample, about Tears for Fears and
the one bar of music. And Iremember hearing it as a child, and
when I heard it in real life,it just very emotional. My husband
knows that I'm the one thatwhatever concert it will be, there
will be a point where tearswill be coming down my face.
(38:16):
Kathy, you're real big with.What's the group that you're fond
of? Yeah, the Foo Fighters.Yeah. You feel that way about them,
don't you?
Oh, yeah. Well, their musicsaved my Life back in 2009. The song,
Going. Going around, goinganother round. Sorry. And I just
saw them last week in la. Andto this day, I just. Like, I've seen
(38:40):
them maybe eight times. Andevery single time, it just. It uplifts
me to a point that I can'treally explain. I think it's because
of that. That moment of when Iwas so depressed in that. In that
basement suite and there wasnothing and I hadn't eaten or washed
in three days. I waited there,waiting for God to save me. And then
(39:02):
on the third day, I finallyget back on my knees, and I'm sobbing
and sobbing and sobbing. Andthe song is playing, can you go another
round? I will follow you. Andit's an acoustic version. And I stopped
crying for a minute. And Ilook up in this. I was in this really
crappy basement suite, and Ilook up, and out of the window, it
was blackness. This ray oflight appeared, and the ray of light
(39:26):
touched my heart center. Andthe song is playing, can you go another
round? I will follow you. AndI have. I'm a firm. I have a huge
faith in God. And so I'mlooking at this ray of light, and
I'm listening to the words,and I say, oh, you'll follow me.
Hey, we'll see about that. SoI get up and I move over to the kitchen.
That light never left my heartcenter. It followed me. So the song
(39:48):
is still playing. Can you goanother round? I will follow you.
So now, all of a sudden, ithas my attention. So I went from
the kitchen, and I'm lookingat this light that's glued to my
heart center. And I move overto my futon, and I start jumping
up and down. The light neverleft my side. It was in that moment
that I completely surrendered.I dropped back down on my knees and
(40:10):
I said, okay. God, I don'tknow what you have for me. And I
know clearly there's a plan,but. Okay. And the light was still
there. And then I hear in thisbackground, this voice saying, kathy,
get up. And I panicked becausemy ex used to. He stalked me for
a year, and he used to breakinto that particular apartment, and
I thought it was him. So Iturn around, but there's Nobody in
(40:30):
the apartment. And the voicerepeated, kathy, get up. So the song
is still playing, right? So Iget up and I turn, and all of a sudden
there's a knock on the door.And it was the guy who lived upstairs
who'd been gone for threedays. And he had this intuition that
I wasn't doing well. And he.He's knocking on the door and, hey,
when opportunity knocks,literally, you answered. So I answered
(40:53):
the door, and he says, hey.Kathy says, I kind of feel that you're
not doing well. You need help.And it was in that moment I said,
yeah, bring me to detox rightnow. And it was from there that I
learned that there was a yearlong faith based program called Wellsprings
for Women. And that's when Iwent to that program. It was from
that moment another round. Andmy life has pivoted ever since then.
(41:14):
So, yes, the Foo Fighters.It's instrumental in my life.
That's powerful.
Very powerful story. Very,very powerful. The three days, the
whole thing. I am honored tohave just heard that. So thank you
for sharing.
Yeah, well, I wrote, I put itin my book just because it's so powerful.
And it wasn't just thatparticular experience. There's a
(41:37):
whole slew of them about that.I talk about tidbits because if I
didn't have God and, and my,my. All these intuitive moments and
all these. These clear, clearvisions, I wouldn't be here today.
I honestly, I would. Down toToothless Joe, you know, like the.
The guy when I was drunk andhomeless on the streets. Like, it's
just every single thing. Andit's really interesting because had
(41:59):
you told me in 2009, in thatmoment that I'd be doing what I'm
doing today and travelingworldwide and have, you know, books
and, you know, this, workingwith Shelley on this awesome podcast,
I'd laughed you off thestreet. I said, yeah, right. Like,
I don't. But you don't. Youcan't see the miracle, even though
it's right around the corner.
Yeah.
And so you have to keep thatfaith and put that foot right in
(42:22):
front of the other and keeptrying, because it's there. You just
have to reach out and grab it.
Right, right. You have to keeptaking those steps. I. I have said
that so many times. Like, I amso grateful than me 15 years ago
that had the bravery andaudacity to take those steps into
something I didn't know. Andit's the same thing. If you had told.
(42:43):
If I had. We had told her.This is where I would be now. I probably
would have chuckled and said,I don't even know how that's possible.
But it. There is such an honorthat I have for that younger me,
that courage to do somethingthat was way harder than that. I
look back and I think, how inthe world. But sometimes in the brokenness,
(43:05):
you know, beauty can arise.And your story, that testimony is
very powerful.
The phoenix rises out of the ashes.
Amen.
Yeah, very true. So, Rachel,this really is in tandem with all
of the things you talk about.Finding the Joy, Finding the Spark,
which is your new book. Wheredo people find you and where do they
(43:29):
find the book? And whatrecommendations do you have? A little.
A few good morsels you canshare with ladies on how to feel
better, how to find joy, andhow to find their spark.
Sure. So most people find meat my website, findingjoy.net or
my on Facebook Finding Joyblog. And the book get yout Spark
(43:49):
Back is sold everywhere,wherever books are sold, your local
bookstore, Amazon, all ofthat. And for women that are in that
spot of needing to find theirspark, the first thing I would say
is, you're not alone. You'renot alone if you've ever been there
and you can find it. And whatit takes is the determination to
decide, I'm going to do this,and to allow yourself to wonder what
(44:13):
it might be. And I talk oftenabout progress. We don't see it often
until we're way farther in thefuture. But if you can just decide
every single day, I'm going todo something today that brings me
joy or that helps other peopleor something small every day. There's
no way after a year of thatthat you're going to be in the same
(44:34):
spot. And there will come aday where people will say, so can
you tell me how you did it?And the only way you get to that
spot is if you're. You havethe courage to start.
That's the biggest step.
You know, just start.
Yeah.
Yeah. It doesn't have to beperfect. It doesn't have to be perfect,
people, because I'm a runner,people will ask me, well, I don't
think I can run. I can't doit. So I'll tell them, can you run
(44:57):
to your stop sign at the endof your street? Can you try that?
And that maybe. And then I.Then they'll do it. And then I'll
say, well, what about in twodays you run 10ft beyond the stop
sign and you keep doing that.And after a month, running to the
stop sign will be easy. It'sjust deciding, I guess I'm going
to run to the stop sign today.
It's building that endurance.
(45:18):
It is, it is. Endurance takes.It takes time, it takes effort, and
it takes that faith that thosesmall steps actually do matter.
Well, when you think about it,when you build a house, a brick house,
for instance, or a brickbuilding, every little brick counts.
And you have to start with thefirst one.
Absolutely. Absolutely. That'svery interesting. Many the year that
(45:41):
in 2022, I ran a thousandmiles that year, people have asked
me, well, how'd you do it? AndI tell them one mile after another,
and if I didn't start, therewouldn't have been the thousand.
And that's true about anythingwe do in life. We have to start and
we just keep. Keep doing itlittle by little, little by little,
and things get better, thingsget brighter, and hopefully people
(46:03):
can find the joy. Because whenyou accomplish something, you're
going to feel joy, you'regoing to feel good about that.
You will. You will. And it'snot going to be perfect. It's. You're
gonna start and you're gonnafall off the wagon and you're gonna
have to start again, and thenyou're gonna start again, and then
you're gonna start again. Andit's not that it's this perfect linear
experience. It's that whenyou. When you kind of get slow or
(46:27):
you lose sight of it, that youhave the courage to say, I'm gonna
try again.
That's part of life.
It definitely is.
I love your perspectives,Rachel. This is wonderful. I really
appreciate you being on theshow, honestly.
Sometimes it just takes thatone voice like yours to captivate
(46:48):
the audience, and suddenly,you know, the light bulb goes off
and they're like, you knowwhat? That's right. I need to re
evaluate this. And you didthat today, so thank you.
Yes.
Well, I really appreciatebeing able to talk with you and hear
the stories and just to sharemy passion for women and for moms.
So thank you.
(47:09):
This is terrific. Thank youfor what you're doing for women.
This is empowering.
You're. You're welcome. I am.I feel honored that my story and
this on this planet and thisearth right now is to be, I would
say, the voice of hope.Because I really believe there. There's
someone listening that justneeds to know, I can do this. I actually
(47:31):
can do this. And if that's theperson listening right now, I totally
believe in you and I know you can.
Absolutely. Thank you, Rachel.This has been terrific.
Thank you very much. I've hada blast talking with both of you.
We hope you've enjoyed thislatest episode. And if you want to
hear more episodes of WomenRoad warriors or learn more about
(47:51):
our show, be sure to check outwomenroadwarriors.com and please
follow us on social media. Anddon't forget to subscribe to our
podcast on our website. Wealso have a selection of podcasts
just for women. There are aseries of podcasts from different
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click the Power network tab onwomenroadwarriors.com youm'll have
(48:16):
a variety of shows to listento anytime you want to. Podcasts
Made for Women Women Roadwarriors is on all the major podcast
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So check us out and pleasefollow us wherever you listen to
podcasts. Thanks for listening.
You've been listening to WomenRoad warriors with Shelly Johnson
(48:39):
and Kathy Tucaro. If you wantto be a guest on the show or have
a topic.
Or feedback, email us@sjohnsonomenroadwarriors.com.
This is Women Road warriorswith Shelly.
Johnson and Kathy Tucaro.
From the corporate office tothe cab of a truck, they're here
to inspire and empower womenin all professions. So gear down,
sit back and enjoy. Welcome.We're an award winning show today
(00:26):
dedicated to empowering womenin every profession through inspiring
stories and expert insights.No topics off limits on our show.
We power women on the road tosuccess with expert and celebrity
interviews and information youneed. I'm Shelly and this is Kathy.
Sometimes women and moms feellike they've lost themselves and
(00:48):
their dreams. They need a wayto rekindle that spark that they
used to have. Rachel MarieMartin is the author of the book
Getting youg Spark Back. She'sthe writer behind findingjoy.net
and the author of Mom Enoughand the Brave Art of Motherhood.
Rachel's been interviewed bycbs, Disney, Good Morning America,
(01:08):
the Huffington Post, and manyothers. She helps women find deep
joy in the little moments andrediscover their dreams. She challenges
people to break cycles, takeoff their masks and not let fear
take control. Rachel's on theshow today to share some of her incredible
insights with us. Welcome, Rachel.
I'm very honored to be here.So thank you so much for having me.
(01:31):
This is going to be an awesomediscussion. I thought before we explore
what you're doing, we couldcover a little bit of your background.
What motivated you to speak upabout these things to help other
women?
You know, for me it was, I,I've always been a storyteller. I've
always been that kind ofintuitive spirit. That's what I like
to say. But I found my, myselfstuck and trapped and in a life that
(01:54):
I thought I was the only one.I was in a marriage that wasn't very
healthy and I was in, we, wehad severe financial problems. And
when you think you're the onlyone, it's very hard to change. And
I, I finally decided, you knowwhat, I'm going to start to share
my real and my real life withpeople and started writing. And I
realized first of all, Iwasn't alone. And I also realized
(02:16):
that once you start to share,once you remove that mask that you,
that you talked about in thatintro, all of a sudden you're spending
more time being able to fixthings than you are trying to kind
of maintain status quo orhiding and letting people not see
your inner world. And I'vejust got this passion for women about
living a very authentic, fullof joy life.
(02:40):
Well, I'm seeing that yourbooks are things like tough, no Excuses,
ways of approaching life whileallowing breathing room and grace
for yourself. Grace, Gosh,that. I. I don't think a lot of people
allow themselves grace, do they?
No, no. And, you know, it's.It was very funny about that. Is
the universe, whatever youwant to call it, knew that I needed
(03:01):
to learn about grace because Ihave a daughter named Grace who has
taught me a tremendous amountabout the word grace. And grace.
We. We. It's kind of anoverlooked word. And grace is the
ability to say, you know what,I did a good job today and I'm proud
of myself, or, you know what?I stumbled, and I'm still proud of
myself. I'm going to stand upagain. And we give grace to our friends
(03:25):
and so often forget to give itto ourselves.
Oh, gosh. Is that true? Ithink that the truth. Women, I think
women are really hard onthemselves. They don't give themselves
that pat on the back that theydeserve. And a lot of times they
don't get the pat on the backfrom other people.
No, no, you're exactly right.And I think probably that's one of
(03:47):
the things I love about what Iget to do is I would write and say
to moms, like, I'm going togive you the gold star today. You
know, our kids would get goldstars at school. And it's such a
simple way to acknowledgesomebody, to say, you know what?
I see you, I appreciate whatyou're doing. And it's very powerful
in someone's story.
(04:07):
You know, it's interesting.You talk about gold stars. I used
to get those with my pianoteacher. She'd put them on the sheet
music if I did really well.And I remember actually thinking,
once I became an adult, Idon't get any gold stars anymore,
you know?
Right, right. And they'renice, they're fun. I loved the gold
star moments. And we. We needto give. Remind ourselves of it.
(04:29):
Just because we're an adultdoesn't mean that we should ignore
the stuff that we do. It'sbeing proud of our stories. Really.
Oh, absolutely. So where didyou come up with all of this wonderful
insight?
I would say I'm a thinker.I'm, like I said in the beginning,
intuitive empath, that kind offeeling. And I tell other people
(04:52):
that I have the ability toarticulate what we are all thinking.
One of the greatestcompliments or comments that I get
is, how did you know what Iwas thinking? How did you know it
was in my head? How do youknow how I'm feeling? And I feel
like One of my purpose on thisearth, on this planet, is to be the
voice of what we're thinking.But sometimes we don't even know
(05:14):
how to express. And it's. Forme, it's just being able to listen
to it, and then when thethoughts come, being able to write
it without judging it. Becauseas soon as you start to judge the
thoughts or what we'refeeling, it starts to morph and change.
Oh, maybe I shouldn't thinkthat way. Or maybe that's what will
people think. But there isthis rawness, if you can capture
(05:36):
it in that moment, there'sthat realness which transcends across
the Internet. That's thethings and the articles where people
say, you know how I feel.
Your titles are verycompelling and definitely honor motherhood,
which. That's one of thetoughest careers anybody can have.
When you think about it, thereare no instructions. I mean, when
(05:56):
we go to a job, we getinstructions. We get an sop. Standard
Operating Procedures. Thereisn't such a thing with kids.
No, No. I have this picture ofmy oldest. The day that we brought
her home from the hospital,and I had put her on a blanket and
she was crying. And I rememberthinking, well, now what? Like, I
(06:18):
didn't know what to do next.And no matter how much I thought
I knew, I didn't know. And.And mothers, we just do the best
that we can. And that's wherethe grace comes in. There's no manual
for it. I didn't know how toraise a toddler until I raised a
toddler.
Yeah, it's day by day. It'slike, well, this is a new adventure.
(06:39):
How am I going to handle this one?
And none of them are the sameeither. So you think you figure it
out, and then another one,you're like, nope, that's not going
to work.
Yeah, they're not cookiecutter. You can have multiple children
in a family, and they all are different.
Yeah, it's. It's a beautifulstory. It's a beautiful adventure.
But sometimes when you're inthe midst, you're thinking, you just
(07:01):
have to kind of go with yourgut. And I. I love to remind moms
that you're really doing thebest you can. Most of us wake up
and we think, you know what?I'm gonna try my best. Nobody thinks
I'm gonna make today the worstday ever. And that little reminder,
actually, is quite encouragingfor people. Like, we try. We definitely
do.
(07:21):
Where do you think moms runamok? Your titles, The Brave Art
of Motherhood. That'sappropriate and mom enough because
that's really appropriate.Women are always trying to do more
and more and more. What aresome of the things that women run
into that where they run amokand they lose their joy and they
lose sight of who they are.
(07:42):
It's the busyness ofmotherhood. Motherhood is a great,
it's a sacrifice you're givingall the time. And there comes a spot
sometimes where we lose ourown stories within it. And I really
don't believe it's anintentional thing. I believe we just
get so busy and we, when westart to lose who we are and the
joys that we have, then therecan be this kind of loss of self
(08:05):
that, that this kind ofwondering, am I enough or am I doing
a good job? Or we feel likewe're failing. And for me, for moms,
I always remind them that wenever feel guilt about putting our
kids appointments on theschedule. And we, we know that it's
sometimes when we take timefor ourselves, then there's the guilt,
(08:26):
oh, I shouldn't do that. Ihave to do everything else. But if
we're not taking care ofourselves, it's very, very challenging
to have that energy to knowthat we're enough and give to everybody
else. So I strongly encouragemoms take time, schedule time for
yourselves because you're justas important.
Oh, absolutely.
It's very critical that wetake that time. I know I, I never
(08:50):
did. And I was just so busytrying to, you know, be a young nurse
and a single mom with a littlethree year old, trying to advance
my education and try and, youknow, teach her. She had a bit of
a learning disability growing,you know, in kindergarten and it
was really tough. And to behonest, I got lost. I just couldn't,
(09:13):
I didn't have any guidancegrowing up and with, I had really
dysfunctional family. So, youknow, and I was at the other end
of Canada all by myself withthis little girl and trying to figure
this out. Oh my God, it was sohard, so, so hard. And I'm really
grateful I only had the one. Imean, had I had more, it would have
been, I think even a really,even harder. So I understand these
(09:37):
parents that have these youngmothers that have end up single with
three, four kids and they'retrying to, you know, raise them and
work and do this. It's easy tolose yourself because the, the stress
of life, especially in thisday and age is just brutal.
It is brutal. And I, I reallybelieve because of social media,
while there's so many benefitsthat but there's. We don't talk about
(10:00):
sometimes the hard because weonly see the good a lot. And I celebrate
the good. I. I tell moms allthe time, celebrate the good because
when you have good, you wantyour friends to rally around you.
But so often we don't talkabout how hard things can be that
seem like they wouldn't behard. Like, I remember when my kids
(10:20):
were little and that constantmom, mom, mom, that kneading or something
spilling and it was like apressure cooker and I couldn't understand
why it felt so hard. And thenI would feel guilty about it. And
so when we can demystify, itis hard.
It's.
It's definitely hard sometimesat someone waking up at 3am throwing
(10:41):
up. That's not, that's notreally probably that much fun. And
I like to talk about the real.I like to talk about those moments
and say it's hard. It'sdefinitely there are hard days and
you've made them through yourtrack record for surviving them.
It's a hundred percent.There's also really good days and
motherhood is a balance of allof them. And it's noble and beautiful
(11:04):
in the good days, the harddays and the normal days.
I like that it is a balance.You're doing a balancing act. I mean,
you really are a trapezeartist and sometimes you aren't sure
what direction you're going tobe heading and you don't want to
lose your balance.
Right? And you said it, younailed it when you said it's a balancing
act. There's really never apoint in life where you're at balance,
(11:27):
balance because life throwsyou things. You're just constantly
balancing, giving over here,giving over there. Something new
happens. And when you look atit like that kind of undulating wave,
it takes the pressure off of,if I just do this, then life will
be chill. Just knowing youjust. You're just gonna go through
(11:48):
balancing and you. It's anactive kind of. Active effort of
living.
Do you think men get whatwomen go through as moms?
I believe. Well, I'm not aman, so I, I always say I can't really
tell. People ask me often,like you should, why don't you write
for men? And I. That's what Isay. Because I don't know the perspective.
(12:08):
I believe it's probablydifferent. I believe that their,
their perspectives, theirwhatever expectations, whether right
or wrong, that society puts onthem is different than what we feel.
And. But I do believe thatwhatever their journey is, their
struggles, we you know, wecan't compare them and rank them.
(12:31):
And that one of the mostpowerful things that we can do, whether
you're a mom or a dad, is justrecognizing where you're. Where somebody's
at with it. Recognizing, okay,you're feeling overwhelmed right
now, or I'm feelingoverwhelmed and what can I do? And
maybe not be the person thatfixes it, but the person that just
listens and hears it and thensays, hey, is there something I can
(12:54):
do to help?
Women like to talk things out,and they need a good listener. They
need somebody who can empathize.
Yes, they do. They do. I. I amvery thankful for my. My women friends,
for my friends that are justwilling to sit in a circle with me
and listen. I have ameditation group that I go to about
quarterly, and one of therules in it is after, at a certain
(13:19):
point, everybody just shares.And when somebody's done sharing,
you say, everyone says, thankyou for sharing. There's no, like,
kind of input back and forth,too. It's just allowing us to get
out all that stuff that we'recarrying with us without the expectation
of even needing it fixed. Justbeing willing to just get it out
and have someone that'swilling to receive it.
(13:41):
Yeah. It validates how you're feeling.
It does, it does. It's justalmost like you're not being judged
by it. There's no judgment init, and there's nobody giving the
even. You know, people willsay, are you open to a different
perspective in other groupsthat I've been in, and I love that
question of, are you. Do you.Are you willing to hear something
else? Because then you cansay, you know what? Yes, I would
(14:04):
love to hear something else.Or no, I just needed to get it out.
Stay tuned for more of womenroad warriors coming up.
Dean Michael, the tax doctorhere. I have one question for you.
Do you want to stop worryingabout the irs? If the answer is yes,
(14:25):
then look no further. I'vebeen around for years. I've helped
countless people across thecountry, and my success rate speaks
for itself. So now you knowwhere to find good, honest help with
your tax problems. What areyou waiting for? If you owe more
than $10,000 to the IRS orhaven't filed in years, call me now
at 888-5575 or go tomytaxhelpmd.com for a free consultation.
(14:47):
And get your life back.Industry movement. Trucking moves
America Forward is telling thestory of the industry. Our safety
champions, the women oftrucking. Independent contractors.
The next generation ofTruckers and more. Help us promote
the best of our industry.Share your story and what you love
about trucking, Share imagesof a moment you're proud of and join
(15:09):
us on social media. Learn more@truckingmovesamerica.com.
Welcome back to Women Roadwarriors with Shelly Johnson and
Kathy Taccaro.
If you're enjoying thisinformative episode of Women Road
(15:30):
Warriors, I wanted to mentionKathy and I explore all kinds of
topics that will power you onthe road to success. We feature a
lot of expert interviews, pluswe feature celebrities and women
who've been trailblazers.Please check out our podcast@womenroadwarriors.com
and click on our Episodespage. We're also available wherever
you listen to podcasts on allthe major podcast channels like Spotify,
(15:53):
Apple, YouTube, Amazon, Music,Audible, you name it. Check us out
and bookmark our podcast.Also, don't forget to follow us on
social media. We're onTwitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest,
LinkedIn, YouTube, and othersites and tell others about us. We
want to help as many women aspossible. Rachel Marie Martin is
(16:14):
the writer behind the sitefindingjoy.net and the author of
both Mom Enough and the BraveArt of Motherhood. She's a founding
partner in AudienceIndustries, a company that's designed
to train and equipentrepreneurs in their ventures.
Her latest book is Gettingyour spark back. Rachel's articles
have been translated into over25 languages. Her site reaches millions
(16:36):
of visitors per month. Rachelbelieves in the power of the human
spirit to overcome, thrive,and find deep joy. She offers valuable
perspectives on how women canbalance their personal and professional
lives authentically and fullof joy. It's a matter of having a
tough, no excuses way ofapproaching life and the ability
(16:57):
to give grace to ourselves. Weneed to acknowledge ourselves and
others. We need to remindourselves of our own power and give
ourselves gold star moments.It's easy to lose sight of our stories,
especially when we'rebalancing motherhood with a career.
That's when we begin towonder, am I enough? We need to be
(17:17):
proud of our stories and ouraccomplishments. According to Rachel,
she's giving us some greatinsight. Rachel, your perspective
on finding joy in the littlethings that can get so lost and especially
if you've got so many thingsgoing on and you've got all of these
demands. It's easy to getreally angry and maybe even resentful.
(17:40):
Have you encountered that withwomen? They love their kids, but
sometimes they resent the factthat they're stuck in this and especially
if they're a single mom or ifthey don't have the support system.
Yeah. And we don't talk aboutresentful because we judge ourselves
with it. We, we. If we feelingresentment, we're thinking, I'm a
bad mom. I'm a terrible. Like,that's the thought process that goes.
(18:04):
And it might not even beresentful about them. It's just the
experience that you're in.It's the situation that you're in.
And I always remind moms,women, that it's an emotion that
you're feeling. It's not whoyou are. You're not feel. You're.
You're feeling resentful.You're not resentful as a person.
And when we can separate thatand go, it's this emotion. What's
(18:26):
the next best emotion I canchoose? Or what's this emotion actually
trying to teach me? Maybe theresentful isn't about that, but maybe
it's trying to say you need tochange things up a little bit or
you need to try to findsupport or something different. And
it's being gracious withyourself about the emotion versus
judging the emotion andjudging yourself.
(18:48):
You're giving peoplepermission to feel.
Yes. Yes. Permission to feel.Because I really believe the way
I grew up. And I don't know,maybe it wasn't, but it was. There
wasn't this talk about thefeelings. I was always told, stop
being so overly sensitive. Andthat was how I feel. And what's funny
(19:08):
about the sensitivity part isthat's what I tell people is my superpower
now is the ability to tap intohow I feel. And I really value. Let's
express how we feel. Doesn'tmean we have to stay there. It doesn't
mean that you stay in thatspot. It's just getting it out. Because
otherwise it's just. It's justfestering in us.
(19:31):
Oh, gosh. And it certainlycan. And then it becomes a volcano.
Yes. Yes, it does.
And depending on thesituation, it could be a really ugly
volcano.
Yes. I've had those. I'veexperienced those volcanoes in life.
Yes.
You know, I had to relearn howto find joy in life. I. I was at
(19:53):
the age of 40. I ended uphaving a big burnout from. Just from
life. I experienced so muchtrauma and hardships, and I just
had put it all away in a safelittle box inside and pretended everything
was fine. And I had somereally harsh things happen to me
in life and just, you know,didn't deal with it until the one
(20:15):
day where I was forced to dealwith it. What's that, that, that
quote that if you don't maketime for your wellness, you'll have
to make time for your illness.If you don't make time for your,
well, you'll have to make timefor your illness or something like
that. Anyway, that's where Iended up and I found myself in this
women's center. It was a faithbased program for you live for a
(20:36):
year and you unlearn all yourtrauma and then you relearn who you
are. And then the hardest partfor me was accepting it, but how
awesome I am, but you know,all my qualities and who Kathy really
is at the age of 40. But allthis to say is that it's in that
program where I learned toaccept compliments. There was a whole
(20:57):
month in that thing in thatprogram where every woman we had
to give each other complimentsand say thank you and nothing else
because, you know, beingbroken, anyone would say, you look
good today. I'm like, no, Idon't. You know, it was an automatic
thing. So part of that programwas learning to find joy in the smallest
possible things. We had toactually make a list every day of
(21:20):
what it was that we found joyin. And it was hard because we're
in a treatment center likeMonday to Friday, 9 to 4 is our recovery.
We had self esteem, we hadboundaries with codependency, we
had anger management, we had,you know, sexual abuse recovery group.
We had all these things. So,and we're with. There was 25 women
from all walks of life and itwas really difficult. How do you
(21:43):
find joy in that? Well, I tellyou that time there has enabled me
to actually slow down when I'moverwhelmed and look at wherever
I am, even if it's in the mindin the middle of night shift, I'll
find joy in the northernlights, in the star, in the moon,
in the way the clouds are, oreven enjoying the piece of equipment
(22:09):
that I'm running. I had tolearn to break it down into smaller
doses and smaller bites inorder to appreciate those moments
so that when the bigger thingscame, it even became better. So I'm
very grateful for that.
Well, you made me very, veryteary when you were telling that
because it's such a, such apowerful story and it's such a powerful
(22:32):
truth about life. I, I've saidso many times that nobody puts in
their high school yearbook.You know what would be fun is when
I'm 40, I'm going to gothrough a divorce or whatever it
May be, but we all have thesestories, these moments that kind
of break us. And you're rightabout joy finding joy. It's an active
(22:53):
choice. It's not just joydoesn't just fall in your lap. It's
choosing to see good in a lifethat might not be what you expected,
and it's being willing toappreciate. Like you said, the Northern
Lights. Growing up inMinnesota, there were a couple times
where we got to see them. AndI remember my father waking us up
(23:14):
in the middle of the night andus going out to see them. And I'm
so grateful for that becausethose. That little thing that was
out of my control, theseNorthern Lights, was joy. It was
given to me in that moment.But most of the time we're so busy,
we don't see it. We don't evenknow. And here in Tennessee, oh,
the Northern lights ended updown here. And I remember all. All
(23:39):
of our neighbors, we all cameoutside and we saw them, and it was
like, again, joy was rightthere. But we had to make the choice
to come out of our house, tostop the busy and then to go see
the universe and what's outthere. And it was exquisite. And
that's the joy part, is youcan miss it. I could have missed
(23:59):
that moment by staying in thehouse, and it would have been right
outside.
I think a lot of people missjoy today because they're stuck on
their devices.
Yeah, I would say so. I wouldsay the devices create a place where
we can be busy and whether,you know, people could be busy all
the time. And I'm. I love thedevices for the connectivity that
(24:22):
it gives us, but I alsorecognize there is that moment where
you have to put it down andexperience something without it.
Like a concert. My husband andI, we went to see Tears for Fears
because I grew up loving them.And I remember thinking, I'm not
going to record this. We'regoing to experience this moment.
I have waited for this momentmy entire life, to hear them play
(24:45):
that openings, that openingpart. And it could be very easy to
think, I'm just going to tryto save that memory versus just experience
the memory. And that's thepowerful thing about setting them
down. There are some momentsin life that you don't need to record
it. You don't need to evenhave it again. It's the memory that's
imprinted within you.
(25:05):
That's right. And that's powerful.
It's pretty fascinating. Likethat memory of the Northern Lights
with my dad. No devices there.I just remember the sleeping bags
on the side of the hill andlaying in dewy grass and watching
them with my dad and my siblings.
Some of the most wonderfulthings in life can't be recorded,
can't be put on an electronicdevice. It's out there. We miss it
(25:30):
if we're always myopic orwe're too consumed with all the minutiae.
And I think when you're a mom,that's easy to get stuck in that
whirlwind and miss out on allof those things that make life so
wonderful.
It is. And it's a. Well,here's the. The discipline is deciding.
(25:54):
I'm going to. I'm going tolook for joy today. I'm going to
find something that's goodtoday. And for moms, I tell them
all the time, you need to knowthe season you're in. If you've got
young kids, it's a verydifferent story than me right now
with my youngest being almost15, it's much easier for me to step
out, to pause to see the joy.When they're younger, the pause might
(26:17):
be 15 seconds, but you stillhave to be disciplined to find them
and then to say, these are themoments that my grandmother would
talk about when she was 80,talking to me about raising kids.
She didn't talk about thegiant moments. She would talk about
these very simple littlethings that mattered to her. And
(26:37):
those are the moments that Itried to remember, tried to see,
tried to recognize when I hadyounger kids, and I still do today.
She was a wise lady.
She was. She was wonderful.You know, what's cool is at one point,
here's a little hidden tidbitabout me that most people don't know
is I learned how to play thechurch organ, so I could play two
(26:59):
keyboards and my feet couldplay. And my grandmother gave me
a hymnal that was a specialone for people that did that, stayed
open and wrote in it. Well,about seven to maybe about a decade
ago, I found the hymnal. Mygrandmother had died years prior,
and in it she had written, mayyou live a life of finding joy. And
(27:21):
my jaw dropped because that'severything I do and write about.
Isn't that amazing?
Yeah.
Wow.
Fortuitous. Your grandmothersaw something.
Yes, she was. She was just.She was a wonderful, wonderful. It's
making me teary thinking abouther. She. She died in 1998, a week
(27:42):
before my daughter was born.And my daughter has her middle name.
And one of my favoritepictures is of my grandfather, her
husband holding mygranddaughter or her holding his
granddaughter, my daughter.
That's so cool.
Life keeps passing on,generation after generation.
So it does. It does. And it'sthose little things that people remember.
(28:03):
Definitely provides the fabricof life, the tapestry. It's a rich
tapestry if we can only weavein all of those little things. And
your books really, I think, dogive people that perspective.
Stay tuned for more of WomenRoad warriors coming up.
(28:27):
Dean Michael, the tax doctorhere. I have one question for you.
Do you want to stop worryingabout the irs? If the answer is yes,
then look no further. I'vebeen around for years. I've helped
countless people across thecountry, and my success rate speaks
for itself. So now you knowwhere to find good, honest help with
your tax problems. What areyou waiting for? If you owe more
than $10,000 to the IRS orhaven't filed in years, call me now
(28:49):
at 880-855-74020 or go tomytaxhelpmd.com for a free consultation
and get your life back.Industry Movement Trucking Moves
America Forward is telling thestory of the industry. Our safety
champions, the women oftrucking, independent contractors,
the next generation oftruckers, and more. Help us promote
(29:10):
the best of our industry.Share your story and what you love
about trucking. Share imagesof a moment you're proud of and join
us on social media. Learn more@truckingmovesamerica.com.
Welcome back to Women Roadwarriors with Shelly Johnson and
(29:32):
Kathy Tucaro.
It's okay to feel. It'simportant to tap into how we feel
and express how we feel.Release that negative emotion from
time to time so it doesn'tfester inside of us. These are some
of the recommendations ofRachel Marie Martin, who's The writer
behind findingjoy.net sheoffers insights to moms, entrepreneurs
(29:56):
and all women. As aninternationally published author
whose latest book is Gettingyoug Spark Back, Rachel is also the
author of Mom Enough and theBrave Art of Motherhood. She teaches
women how to find joy again,which is an active choice. Joy just
doesn't fall into our laps.It's a matter of choosing to see
good in a life where you maynot have expected it. Too often we're
(30:19):
too busy to see it and we missthe tidbits and the moments of joy
that can be ours. Sometimes wehave to stop the busy so we can see
and experience joy. We have tostop so we don't miss the wonderful
moments that life can give us.Rachel now your new book, Getting
youg Spark Back. What is thatfocus of that book.
(30:41):
Was inspired by my ownjourney. It's about that moment in
life where you're like, well,what's next? And who am I now? And
is this all there is? And I. Ihad that journey in my own. My own
story. I'd fixed my life, andI was ha. I'm happily remarried.
And it was kind of during thepandemic where all these thoughts
(31:03):
started going through, and.And I went on a journey to figure
out what's the next phase oflife, what's the next thing, and
who am I now? And as a resultof it, people saw my own spark, my
soul get reignited, and Istarted getting all these questions
of, how do I get my sparkback? How do I do that? And what
I love and I've. I've saidover and over is, nobody said, how
(31:27):
do I get a spark? It wasalways, how do I get my spark? Which
is possessive, which meanseach of us has one. And then they
always added the word back.How do I get it back? Which means
you've had it. You know, it'sthere, and how do I re. Nurture it?
Maybe some is just a little.It's just flickering. And I tell
people, as long as you arebreathing on this planet, your spark
(31:48):
is there. And it's our job tofind it again, reignite it, and to
go all in with the years thatwe have ahead of us.
Do you think most people, ofcourse, you can't really categorize,
but do you think that a lot ofwomen get stuck where they feel like
they've lost their spark ormaybe they never even knew it was
(32:08):
there?
I do. I believe that it's auniversal for women and for men,
and we've labeled it differentthings throughout the years. Midlife
crisis or something happens intheir 20s. I really believe what
happens is we get on thistrain ride, we're like, super fast.
And then there comes a momentin life where life isn't what we
(32:29):
thought it would be. Or for alot of people, it was the pandemic
where normal got taken away.And we're like, whoa, what happened
here? Normal's gone. And itgives us a second, a moment to reevaluate.
And in that moment, we'regiven a choice, and we have, what.
What do I want to do now? And.Or maybe we're unhappy. And it's
(32:50):
those moments where we look atlife and we look at our story and
we decide, you know what? Iwant to reclaim who I am. What's
the things that light me up,not the things that the world tells
me I should be doing, butwhat's the thing that lights me up
inside? What is it about me?And I've told people over and over
(33:12):
again that it's the art ofwondering. We encourage our children
wonder. I wonder about this.And as we get older, things kind
of morph into it should beconcrete. I should know I have to
make this decision. And welose that magic of wondering. I wonder
what would happen if I run. Iwonder what would happen if I try
(33:32):
this job. I wonder what wouldhappen. And in that wondering, we
start to get reacquainted withour own soul again.
This book sounds fascinating.I'm seeing here Hassel from Seinfeld,
one of the original writerswrote Rachel Marie Martin has invited
us to find joy, be brave, andnow start a fire in our soul. Her
(33:54):
writing is honest, open, anddeeply insightful about the human
condition. Get yout Spark Backstarts as an ember and builds to
an inspirational brush fire.Stop, drop and roll into the nearest
bookstore to grab a copy foryourself or someone you love. Now,
that's pretty phenomenal forsomebody to write.
It is. You can tell he's awriter, too. Every time I read his
(34:15):
words, I'm like, oh, he's sogood with words. But I'm so grateful
for it. He's. He's seen thestory. And I think every one of us
that has those moments, thosepivot moments in life, we get it.
We get the importance offinding ourselves again. Making,
(34:36):
kind of dealing with the past,not ignoring it, not deciding it
doesn't matter, not any ofthat. Figuring out how to go forward
with our past, living our lifewith our fullest now, and knowing
that we can do these things,we can live a life of joy in the
years that we have left to come.
And there's so much potential,so much out there. Quite often I
(34:59):
think people get stuck in acertain time or age and say, well,
I can't do that. I didn'taccomplish this, so I'm not going
to bother to try. They losesight of their dreams. I've always
tried to live by. I don't knowwhat I'm going to be when I grow
up. I don't consider myselfgrown up yet, you know, Me neither.
I love that.
(35:19):
I absolutely love that. Ithink that's so wise. I. It's. It's
brilliantly wise, actually.
Well, it. There's so muchopportunity. When you think about
it as a child, we imagine. Weimagine ourselves in all kinds of
different roles. We haveimaginary friends and we do all kinds
of things and we kind of inour Minds. I put ourselves in different
(35:41):
positions, and I think that welose sight of that as an adult.
We do. We do. I really believebecause of the pressure of time is
part of it. When we're young,we think in ourselves. I've got 70
years. I can take chances andmake mistakes and all of that. And
then as we get older, I'venoticed in my own life, you see,
(36:02):
like, well, I don't know. Idon't know if I want to do that.
The risk part of it seemsriskier. But then I've realized that
if I get to live as old as mygrandmother that I was talking about,
I don't want to live a life ofregretting and looking back and saying,
you know, I wish I had takenthat risk. I wish I had listened
to that. I wish. And it's sopowerful to watch people kind of
(36:25):
reemerge and to tap back intothe things that they loved. My parents
invested many, many hundredsand hundreds of dollars on piano
lessons and sat by me many,many days, making sure I would practice.
And it ended up that I love toplay piano. And for me now, one of
the things that I love to dothe most is play the piano. It's
(36:48):
not working. It's not being amom. It's not being a wife. It's
something that I love. Andwhat's cool about it is when I do
everybody in my house, like,we love it when you play piano.
Yeah.
And I think it inspirespeople. Maybe I should do something
else. Maybe I should, youknow, reignite my spark. Yeah.
No, I play piano also. Andwhen I do take the time to play,
(37:12):
which I need to get back todoing, it takes you away from the
craziness of life. You'resomewhere else. And in many ways,
probably because I played as achild, maybe it takes me back there
too.
Yeah. There's somethingmagical about music in that way.
I write with music playingbecause I can block out the world
(37:32):
and I can hear my own heart. Ican hear myself think when I'm playing
music, whether I'm listeningto it or playing it with my. With
my hands at the keyboard.
Music's a wonderful timemachine. It will put you back wherever
you'd first heard a song. Ittransports us. It's an incredible
thing.
It definitely does. And you'reexactly right. What I was thinking
(37:55):
about, even my earlierexample, about Tears for Fears and
the one bar of music. And Iremember hearing it as a child, and
when I heard it in real life,it just very emotional. My husband
knows that I'm the one thatwhatever concert it will be, there
will be a point where tearswill be coming down my face.
(38:16):
Kathy, you're real big with.What's the group that you're fond
of? Yeah, the Foo Fighters.Yeah. You feel that way about them,
don't you?
Oh, yeah. Well, their musicsaved my Life back in 2009. The song,
Going. Going around, goinganother round. Sorry. And I just
saw them last week in la. Andto this day, I just. Like, I've seen
(38:40):
them maybe eight times. Andevery single time, it just. It uplifts
me to a point that I can'treally explain. I think it's because
of that. That moment of when Iwas so depressed in that. In that
basement suite and there wasnothing and I hadn't eaten or washed
in three days. I waited there,waiting for God to save me. And then
(39:02):
on the third day, I finallyget back on my knees, and I'm sobbing
and sobbing and sobbing. Andthe song is playing, can you go another
round? I will follow you. Andit's an acoustic version. And I stopped
crying for a minute. And Ilook up in this. I was in this really
crappy basement suite, and Ilook up, and out of the window, it
was blackness. This ray oflight appeared, and the ray of light
(39:26):
touched my heart center. Andthe song is playing, can you go another
round? I will follow you. AndI have. I'm a firm. I have a huge
faith in God. And so I'mlooking at this ray of light, and
I'm listening to the words,and I say, oh, you'll follow me.
Hey, we'll see about that. SoI get up and I move over to the kitchen.
That light never left my heartcenter. It followed me. So the song
(39:48):
is still playing. Can you goanother round? I will follow you.
So now, all of a sudden, ithas my attention. So I went from
the kitchen, and I'm lookingat this light that's glued to my
heart center. And I move overto my futon, and I start jumping
up and down. The light neverleft my side. It was in that moment
that I completely surrendered.I dropped back down on my knees and
(40:10):
I said, okay. God, I don'tknow what you have for me. And I
know clearly there's a plan,but. Okay. And the light was still
there. And then I hear in thisbackground, this voice saying, kathy,
get up. And I panicked becausemy ex used to. He stalked me for
a year, and he used to breakinto that particular apartment, and
I thought it was him. So Iturn around, but there's Nobody in
(40:30):
the apartment. And the voicerepeated, kathy, get up. So the song
is still playing, right? So Iget up and I turn, and all of a sudden
there's a knock on the door.And it was the guy who lived upstairs
who'd been gone for threedays. And he had this intuition that
I wasn't doing well. And he.He's knocking on the door and, hey,
when opportunity knocks,literally, you answered. So I answered
(40:53):
the door, and he says, hey.Kathy says, I kind of feel that you're
not doing well. You need help.And it was in that moment I said,
yeah, bring me to detox rightnow. And it was from there that I
learned that there was a yearlong faith based program called Wellsprings
for Women. And that's when Iwent to that program. It was from
that moment another round. Andmy life has pivoted ever since then.
(41:14):
So, yes, the Foo Fighters.It's instrumental in my life.
That's powerful.
Very powerful story. Very,very powerful. The three days, the
whole thing. I am honored tohave just heard that. So thank you
for sharing.
Yeah, well, I wrote, I put itin my book just because it's so powerful.
And it wasn't just thatparticular experience. There's a
(41:37):
whole slew of them about that.I talk about tidbits because if I
didn't have God and, and my,my. All these intuitive moments and
all these. These clear, clearvisions, I wouldn't be here today.
I honestly, I would. Down toToothless Joe, you know, like the.
The guy when I was drunk andhomeless on the streets. Like, it's
just every single thing. Andit's really interesting because had
(41:59):
you told me in 2009, in thatmoment that I'd be doing what I'm
doing today and travelingworldwide and have, you know, books
and, you know, this, workingwith Shelley on this awesome podcast,
I'd laughed you off thestreet. I said, yeah, right. Like,
I don't. But you don't. Youcan't see the miracle, even though
it's right around the corner.
Yeah.
And so you have to keep thatfaith and put that foot right in
(42:22):
front of the other and keeptrying, because it's there. You just
have to reach out and grab it.
Right, right. You have to keeptaking those steps. I. I have said
that so many times. Like, I amso grateful than me 15 years ago
that had the bravery andaudacity to take those steps into
something I didn't know. Andit's the same thing. If you had told.
(42:43):
If I had. We had told her.This is where I would be now. I probably
would have chuckled and said,I don't even know how that's possible.
But it. There is such an honorthat I have for that younger me,
that courage to do somethingthat was way harder than that. I
look back and I think, how inthe world. But sometimes in the brokenness,
(43:05):
you know, beauty can arise.And your story, that testimony is
very powerful.
The phoenix rises out of the ashes.
Amen.
Yeah, very true. So, Rachel,this really is in tandem with all
of the things you talk about.Finding the Joy, Finding the Spark,
which is your new book. Wheredo people find you and where do they
(43:29):
find the book? And whatrecommendations do you have? A little.
A few good morsels you canshare with ladies on how to feel
better, how to find joy, andhow to find their spark.
Sure. So most people find meat my website, findingjoy.net or
my on Facebook Finding Joyblog. And the book get yout Spark
(43:49):
Back is sold everywhere,wherever books are sold, your local
bookstore, Amazon, all ofthat. And for women that are in that
spot of needing to find theirspark, the first thing I would say
is, you're not alone. You'renot alone if you've ever been there
and you can find it. And whatit takes is the determination to
decide, I'm going to do this,and to allow yourself to wonder what
(44:13):
it might be. And I talk oftenabout progress. We don't see it often
until we're way farther in thefuture. But if you can just decide
every single day, I'm going todo something today that brings me
joy or that helps other peopleor something small every day. There's
no way after a year of thatthat you're going to be in the same
(44:34):
spot. And there will come aday where people will say, so can
you tell me how you did it?And the only way you get to that
spot is if you're. You havethe courage to start.
That's the biggest step.
You know, just start.
Yeah.
Yeah. It doesn't have to beperfect. It doesn't have to be perfect,
people, because I'm a runner,people will ask me, well, I don't
think I can run. I can't doit. So I'll tell them, can you run
(44:57):
to your stop sign at the endof your street? Can you try that?
And that maybe. And then I.Then they'll do it. And then I'll
say, well, what about in twodays you run 10ft beyond the stop
sign and you keep doing that.And after a month, running to the
stop sign will be easy. It'sjust deciding, I guess I'm going
to run to the stop sign today.
It's building that endurance.
(45:18):
It is, it is. Endurance takes.It takes time, it takes effort, and
it takes that faith that thosesmall steps actually do matter.
Well, when you think about it,when you build a house, a brick house,
for instance, or a brickbuilding, every little brick counts.
And you have to start with thefirst one.
Absolutely. Absolutely. That'svery interesting. Many the year that
(45:41):
in 2022, I ran a thousandmiles that year, people have asked
me, well, how'd you do it? AndI tell them one mile after another,
and if I didn't start, therewouldn't have been the thousand.
And that's true about anythingwe do in life. We have to start and
we just keep. Keep doing itlittle by little, little by little,
and things get better, thingsget brighter, and hopefully people
(46:03):
can find the joy. Because whenyou accomplish something, you're
going to feel joy, you'regoing to feel good about that.
You will. You will. And it'snot going to be perfect. It's. You're
gonna start and you're gonnafall off the wagon and you're gonna
have to start again, and thenyou're gonna start again, and then
you're gonna start again. Andit's not that it's this perfect linear
experience. It's that whenyou. When you kind of get slow or
(46:27):
you lose sight of it, that youhave the courage to say, I'm gonna
try again.
That's part of life.
It definitely is.
I love your perspectives,Rachel. This is wonderful. I really
appreciate you being on theshow, honestly.
Sometimes it just takes thatone voice like yours to captivate
(46:48):
the audience, and suddenly,you know, the light bulb goes off
and they're like, you knowwhat? That's right. I need to re
evaluate this. And you didthat today, so thank you.
Yes.
Well, I really appreciatebeing able to talk with you and hear
the stories and just to sharemy passion for women and for moms.
So thank you.
(47:09):
This is terrific. Thank youfor what you're doing for women.
This is empowering.
You're. You're welcome. I am.I feel honored that my story and
this on this planet and thisearth right now is to be, I would
say, the voice of hope.Because I really believe there. There's
someone listening that justneeds to know, I can do this. I actually
(47:31):
can do this. And if that's theperson listening right now, I totally
believe in you and I know you can.
Absolutely. Thank you, Rachel.This has been terrific.
Thank you very much. I've hada blast talking with both of you.
We hope you've enjoyed thislatest episode. And if you want to
hear more episodes of WomenRoad warriors or learn more about
(47:51):
our show, be sure to check outwomenroadwarriors.com and please
follow us on social media. Anddon't forget to subscribe to our
podcast on our website. Wealso have a selection of podcasts
just for women. There are aseries of podcasts from different
podcasters, so if you're inthe mood for women's podcasts, just
click the Power network tab onwomenroadwarriors.com youm'll have
(48:16):
a variety of shows to listento anytime you want to. Podcasts
Made for Women Women Roadwarriors is on all the major podcast
channels like Apple, Spotify,Amazon, Audible, YouTube and others.
So check us out and pleasefollow us wherever you listen to
podcasts. Thanks for listening.
You've been listening to WomenRoad warriors with Shelly Johnson
(48:39):
and Kathy Tucaro. If you wantto be a guest on the show or have
a topic.
Or feedback, email us@sjohnsonomenroadwarriors.com.
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