January 14, 2025 • 50 mins
Are you overcome with anxiety, worry, and fear? Many people feel this way, but Laura Rhodes-Levin has the answers. As a licensed therapist specializing in anxiety, depression, and trauma, Laura shares valuable insights from her book, "The Missing Peace: Rewire Your Brain, Reduce Anxiety, and Recreate Your Life." She emphasizes the importance of understanding and managing anxiety, advocating for the need to create a life where anxiety only arises in appropriate situations. Tune in as Laura discusses effective techniques such as neurofeedback, mindfulness, and setting boundaries, all aimed at helping listeners calm their nervous systems and restore balance in their lives. Join Shelley Johnson and Kathy Tucaro as they explore how to rewire your brain and reclaim your happiness.
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https://missingpeace4anxiety.com/
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
This is Women Road warriorswith Shelly Johnson and Kathy Tucaro.
From the corporate office tothe cab of a truck, they're here
to inspire and empower womenin all professions.
So gear down, sit back and enjoy.
(00:23):
Welcome.
We're an award winning show ddedicated to empowering women in
every profession throughinspiring stories and expert insights.
No topics off limits.
On our show, we power women onthe road to success with expert and
celebrity interviews andinformation you need.
I'm Shelley.
And I'm Kathy.
(00:44):
Are you overcome with anxietyand worry?
Does it seem like your worldis always full of tension?
Are you depressed a lot?
Many people are feeling this way.
Laura Rhodes Levin is alicensed therapist who specializes
in treating anxiety,depression and trauma.
She's the author of theMissing Rewire youe Brain, Reduce
(01:06):
Anxiety and Recreate youe Life.
Laura is the founder of theMissing Peace center for Anxiety.
She's a highly respectedexpert on psychological issues and
has been interviewed by manymedia outlets.
Laura offers psychotherapy,neurofeedback, art therapy and other
treatments to calm the nervoussystem and restore the brain.
(01:27):
She has valuable insights thatwe wanted to tap into to help our
listeners.
We have Laura with us today.
Welcome, Laura.
Thank you so much for being onthe show.
Oh, my pleasure, Laura.
We're really looking forwardto unpacking what you know to help
our listeners who may be suffering.
There's so much anxiety today.
(01:47):
Is that all because thebrain's gone haywire?
I know that's not a properdiagnostic term, but many, many people
feel.
I like haywire.
Haywire.
Yeah, exactly.
But, you know, I think manypeople feel out of control, especially
since the pandemic.
Yeah.
And I think, I think haywireis a great way to put it actually,
because our anxiety issupposed to be there.
(02:10):
I, I often tell people it's.
It's not what's wrong withyou, it's what's right with you.
Our anxiety is part of ourfight flight response, which is essential
to our survival.
But in today's haywire world,where it feels like everything's
an emergency, everything hasto get done right now our bodies
(02:32):
are being dumped withadrenaline and cortisol and it's
like everything is urgent andour brains are not built to live
on a constantly urgent basis.
And we're just learning, andsome of us have never learned that
it's really important to notlive that way, to let your messages
(02:56):
go to voicemail.
You don't have to text backright away.
And giving yourself permissionto let your.
Brain regulate and relax asfast as our society Moves.
With all the technology andall the devices, everybody's move,
move, move.
We're more impatient todaythan we've ever been.
(03:16):
So I'm not sure we know how todo that anymore.
I think it's a skill we're losing.
Isn't that the truth?
It's true.
And today's modern society,our bodies and our brains are suffering
because all of our creaturecomforts, we're not climbing the
steeps for lavender anymoreand hunting mammoth.
(03:40):
So our bodies are not gettingwhat it needs naturally, what they
need naturally to stay healthy.
And so we have to invent allthis stuff to keep our bodies moving.
And the opposite is true forour brains.
We used to just gather thelavender and then the sun went down
and we looked at the stars andmaybe beat a drum.
(04:03):
So our brains and bodies arein very uncaught up states of being
with the life we've created.
You know, it's interesting, Ithink I read somewhere that when
electricity started becomingvery commonplace, people weren't
going to bed when they'resupposed to, and it was creating
(04:25):
more tension and anxiety.
I'm not sure they use the wordanxiety, but today technology is
constant.
People go to bed with theircell phones, their smartphones, they're
constantly being overstimulated.
Yeah, yeah.
And from what I understand, inaddition to that, the industrial
(04:46):
age, the idea that we need tosleep so that we can work nine to
five is also not natural.
We get very upset when wedon't sleep through the night.
But it used to be like yousaid, we went to bed, the sun went
down and you woke up a fewhours later.
(05:08):
Maybe you had relations withyour partner and then you both went
back to sleep and you woke upagain at 5 or 6.
And that's our just natural rhythm.
Yeah.
So we're not following ourcircadian rhythms.
Can that lead to anxiety?
Oh, for sure.
It just leads to dysregulation.
(05:28):
I'm sure.
I think, and forgive me if I'mwrong, Shelly, but I think you said
Kathy lives in Alaska.
No, Kathy.
I work up in Northern Canada.
Northern Canada.
Okay.
I don't know why my brainpictured Alaska, but you know, seasonal
affective disorder, when we'redeprived from what we're normally
(05:50):
exposed to, our.
Our bodies and our brainsdon't feel comfortable.
Yeah.
Like I work in the winter, I'mso far north that when I'm on night
shifts, I don't see thedaylight for two weeks.
I come in, I go, I leave forwork at 5:30 at night, and it's Pitch
black.
I get back in at seven in themorning and it's still pitch black.
(06:12):
So.
Yeah, it's rough and we'rekind of in, in.
Our rooms are very small.
They're cute.
It's like a little cubicle.
So it's.
Yeah.
A lot of people have that,like you say, seasonal affective
disorder.
So people will bring in one ofthose lamp lights to try and give
them like sun rays and stuff.
So.
(06:32):
And it affects a lot of peopleup here, like the depression and
more anxiety and just, youknow, they're really antsy and edgy
and nothing, you know, nothingis working.
So that, that sunlight is, isa big thing.
And not to mention nightshift, your, your, your circadian
rhythm is completely out of whack.
And I find like I'm, I'm 55,and the older I get, the harder it
(06:54):
is.
Like I, I feel like I got runover by a train right now and I'm
only a week in.
Right.
Our recovery is different aswe get older.
Yeah.
So we're doing a lot of thisto ourselves.
Yeah.
And, and, and society.
You know what I mean?
We get into habits of, youknow, a text message.
I don't know when it becamelike a thing.
(07:18):
It used to be just a way tosend a message so someone could see
it.
And now it's like if you don'trespond to a text message right away,
people are like, is he mad?
You know, why, why haven'tthey called?
And it's, it's just not that.
And I don't think I feel likewords like mindfulness or self care
(07:40):
are used a lot, but verymisunderstood and underutilized.
I don't think we really fully.
Like, if I could change theconcept of mindfulness, I wouldn't
call it mindfulness.
I'd either call it bodiness orsensefulness, because it is about
being in the moment.
(08:00):
But that's, that's not whereour mind often is.
It's our five senses thatbring us into the moment, that allow
us to be present.
And so that's our way out of technology.
I think.
I think it makes total sense.
Yeah.
And then believe it or not,the more you do that stuff, the more
(08:23):
grounded you are, the morecalm your body is, you actually become
much more productive.
It's that, you know, bumpersticker, working smarter, not harder.
And we just train ourselvesand we don't know how to fill ourselves
up anymore.
Sure.
You know, what works for me isdaily meditation.
(08:45):
About 20 minutes.
I've been including that inmy, since my recovery days.
I have 12 years sober and Ifind that when I don't do it, I'm
scattered.
I'm not as calm when that orwhen problems arise, I get more flighty
sort of things.
So for me it, it makes a bigdifference that I include it in a
(09:09):
self disciplinary way for myown mental health and for my own
well being and I guess for thewell being of other people if I'm
not responding.
Kathy, did you meditate today?
No.
Then get back out, get inthere and do it.
Sure.
Well, good for you too.
I'll be 18 in October.
(09:30):
Oh bravo.
That's actually, you know,where I started exploring and I think
meditation can be confusingfor people and they think it's just
about banishing your thoughtsand it isn't.
It is about grounding yourselfand meditation in the non traditional
(09:51):
sense, but in the veryeffective sense can be gardening
or cooking or drawing ormaking a necklace or sports.
There are all ways to justquiet the mind and be present and
meditation is such a wonderfulway to do that.
(10:14):
Stay tuned for more of WomenRoad warriors coming up.
Dean Michael, the tax doctor here.
I have one question for you.
Do you want to stop worryingabout the irs?
If the answer is yes, thenlook no further.
I've been around for years,I've helped countless people across
the country and my successrate speaks for itself.
(10:36):
So now you know where to findgood, honest help with your tax problems.
What are you waiting for?
If you owe more than $10,000to the IRS or haven't filed in years,
call me now at 888-5574 or goto mytaxhelpmd.com for a free consultation
and get your life back.
Industry Movement TruckingMoves America Forward is telling
(10:56):
the story of the industry.
Our safety champions, thewomen of trucking, independent contractors,
the next generation oftruckers, and more help us promote
the best of our industry.
Share your story and what youlove about trucking.
Share images of a momentyou're proud of and join us on social
media.
Learn more@truckingmovesamerica.com.
(11:23):
Welcome back to Women Roadwarriors with Shelly Johnson and
Kathy Tucaro.
If you're enjoying thisinformative episode of Women Road
Warriors, I wanted to mentionKathy and I explore all kinds of
topics that will power you onthe road to success.
We feature a lot of expertinterviews, plus we feature celebrities
(11:44):
and women who've been trailblazers.
Please check out ourpodcast@womenroadwarriors.com and
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(12:04):
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We want to help as many womenas possible.
Today's modern society isoverstimulated with devices that
don't give our brains thechance to disconnect and re regulate.
Our brains and bodies arehopelessly caught up in the chaos
(12:27):
of the lives we've created.
We're dysregulated.
Our bodies are beingoverburdened with adrenaline and
cortisol, with things that arealways urgent.
This leads to tension, anxietyand worry.
We're in a state of fightflight and we don't know why or how
to stop it.
We need to learn how to quietthe mind and be present.
According to Laura Rhodes Levin.
(12:49):
Laura is a licensed therapistwho specializes in treating anxiety,
depression and trauma.
She's the author of theMissing Rewire your brain, reduce
anxiety and recreate your life.
Laura is the founder of theMissing Peace center for Anxiety.
She offers psychotherapy,neurofeedback, art therapy and other
(13:10):
treatments to calm the nervoussystem and restore the brain.
Laura, now your book talksabout happiness needs to be within
a person's grasp and there islife beyond anxiety.
What exactly does your book explore?
I'm seeing that you say thatanxiety is not a set of pre wired
uncontrollable buttons.
(13:31):
It's a matter of finding outwho installed the buttons right and
how to unwire them.
We would love to all know howto do that because I, I suffer from
anxiety now and then and I'vehad to learn to deep breathe, engage
that parasympathetic nervoussystem, that sort of thing, you know.
Yeah.
And the idea in the book isthat we don't want to always be responding
(13:57):
to the anxiety.
We want to set up our lives sothat anxiety only happens when it's
supposed to happen.
If someone cuts you off on thefreeway, you're supposed to get anxious
and swerve and move very quickly.
But I think the book is broken down.
(14:18):
Each chapter is threedifferent sections and they're short
chapters.
So the first part is a time inmy life when anxiety was ruling me.
It's like a specific story andthen a way that I avoid being in
that situation now, whetherit's set a boundary or making my
(14:40):
own choices or negative thinking.
And then the last part is alittle exercise that you can do to
apply it to your life, whichpeople don't have to do.
But I think when you.
When you put it into contextin yourself, it makes a lot more
sense.
(15:00):
So, for instance, I think alot of people.
Anxiety.
Have anxiety because they'rein careers that they thought they
were supposed to be in.
It's someone else's programming.
And yet you're just not happy.
Your life may look very goodon paper, but it's not really what's
(15:20):
your true purpose, your true desire?
And so once you start peelingaway the layers of what your parents
wanted you to do, what yourjob wants you to do, what society
wants you to do.
We talked earlier about cellphones and technology.
How much of that do you reallyhave to do?
(15:42):
And it's way less than you think.
So it's more about creatingthe life you want so that anxiety
happens in a natural, normalway where it's supposed to happen,
where we don't have to stopand breathe and collect ourselves.
That's great.
Those are really importanttools to have, especially when the
(16:06):
anxiety hits for real.
But why live in a constantstate of anxiety that just is.
We're not designed for that.
No, we're not.
It's not fun.
No, it's not fun at all.
And I think that children havemore anxiety today than they ever
had.
Yeah, there's so much demandon children today.
(16:27):
And their brains, they knowhow to work phones better than most
of their parents.
And they've got school.
And it seems like kids are so scheduled.
We came home from school andwe did our homework, and then we
went outside until the streetlights came off and we just played.
(16:48):
Yeah, you just played.
Like, okay, maybe once a weekyou took piano, but sure.
It's not like.
And the mom's just runningaround everywhere trying to get kids
back and forth.
And kids learn that chaos.
Oh, yeah.
Well, when you think about it,it's super stressful for the mom,
(17:08):
who is usually the one who'stransporting all the kids.
And most mothers are workingoutside the house, so they're putting
in 40 hours a week minimum.
And then they're having to fitin all of these extracurricular activities.
By the time the weekend comes,there are more activities.
They never have time to take astep back and relax.
Yeah, they don't.
(17:29):
And they feel guilty.
I was going to say, unlessyou're in the bathtub, but half the
time you get interrupted inthe bath anyway.
Mom.
Mom.
Yeah, yeah.
And, you know, I work withwomen all the time, you know, and
I mean, This, I hope thiscomes out the way I mean it to come
(17:53):
out.
But that is that not everybodyeven wanted to be a mom.
But we were talked into thisis what our purpose is.
And there's just so much.
I know it comes with a wholeother thing.
It's a beautiful thing, butthe making the meals and the market
and everything just non stop.
(18:15):
And women come to my office intheir 50s and they're taking this
breath like, okay, now I getto do me, but I don't even know who
me is.
They don't even know that theydon't know who me is.
And so we have a conversation.
What do you love to do?
I love to read, but I never do anymore.
(18:39):
Why don't you read this afternoon?
I'll feel guilty.
I should go to the market.
I should do this, I should do that.
And it's so important to modelfor your children that they need
to take time for them.
They get to do what they want too.
And you model that by doing ityourself and not feeling guilty.
(19:03):
Guilt is so stupid.
Oh, but society's good at guilting.
Just go up on social media,look at Facebook, Instagram, any
of it.
The interactions is guilt,guilt, guilt.
Or if you're looking atsomebody in their beautiful life,
then you feel like, gee, I'mnot doing enough.
Yeah, guilt and shame are justjoy stealers and they don't really
(19:25):
change anything except foryour personal vibration.
That's very true.
Now you founded the MissingPiece center for Anxiety.
What exactly do you cover there?
So in a nutshell, I think I'ma good therapist.
I think all my therapists hereare good.
But if your dog is stressedout, you're not going to say what
(19:46):
triggered you.
Fluffy, you're going to contact.
Right?
I didn't get my bone dag on it.
Right.
We don't know how to keep keepourselves calm and how to recreate
ourselves recreation.
So in the center we have musictherapy, where you just.
(20:10):
It's not about being a musician.
It's just about pounding adrum or strumming on something as
a way to just get out the day.
Aromatherapy, nutrition, massage.
Neurofeedback is known bysome, but not by others.
(20:31):
But neurofeedback is used byNASA to help their astronauts be
calm in space.
It's used by a lot of ourarmed forces in the face of trauma.
So we do neurofeedback here regularly.
We do art therapy or play therapy.
We do movement, we do breath work.
(20:52):
So it's all about learning howto play and how to make yourself
feel good.
And then when you're calm andyou know how to make yourself feel
good, we can talk about theproblems and actually be in a headspace
for solution instead of panicand unclear thinking.
(21:15):
So you're essentially primingpeople to get better and what to
calm the nervous system.
And now this restores thebrain, Is it all of these things
together basically create somesort of an equilibrium.
Yeah.
And most of my patients, to beclear, most of my patients come nine
to 25 hours a week.
(21:37):
It's called intensiveoutpatient or partial hospitalization
because they are sooverwhelmed with life or teens that
were forced back into schoolafter Covid with the social skills
they left with three years ago.
So now they have all thissocial anxiety.
They're supposed to be readyto be 17, but they're really 14 or
(22:01):
15.
So we take most insurances,most PPOs, but I make sure that everybody
gets everything because it's aunique recipe that in my experience,
it just works.
You know, Kathy, I tried drugsand alcohol and pills and all that
(22:23):
stuff.
All it did was help me be inthe moment, you know, like, I love
you, man.
This is great.
But it didn't teach me how tobecome friends with my brain.
And so that's why I wrote the book.
People are like, you need to franchise.
Open up a place here.
Open up a place here.
And I'm like, I really love my backyard.
(22:46):
I really like doing my stuff, too.
So that's why the book is very specific.
You're going to reduce youranxiety, you're going to rewire your
brain, and you are going torecreate your life.
That's.
Well, we should all love our lives.
That's the only thing that canmake this world a fabulous place,
(23:08):
is if we.
I mean, it already is fabulous.
But if everybody were livingthe life that made their vibration
so high and so happy, thiswould be so much easier.
And so if you do it foryourself, you're changing a piece
in your family that will thenhopefully echo like a ripple effect.
(23:35):
Stay tuned for more of womenroad warriors coming up.
Dean Michael, the tax doctor here.
I have one question for you.
Do you want to stop worryingabout the irs?
If the answer is yes, thenlook no further.
I've been around for years.
I've helped countless peopleacross the country, and my success
rate rate speaks for itself.
(23:56):
So now you know where to findgood, honest help with your tax problems.
What are you waiting for?
If you owe more than $10,000to the IRS or haven't filed in years
call me now at 888-557-4020 orgo to mytaxhelpmd.com for a free
consultation and get your life back.
Industry Movement TruckingMoves America Forward is telling
(24:16):
the story of the industry.
Our safety champions, thewomen of trucking, independent contractors,
the next generation oftruckers, and more help us promote
the best of our industry.
Share your story and what youlove about trucking.
Share images of a momentyou're proud of and join us on social
media.
Learn more@truckingmovesamerica.com.
(24:43):
Welcome back to Women Roadwarriors with Shelly Johnson and
Kathy Tucaro.
Both children and adults areanxious today.
It seems to be a constant inour lives.
We don't always want torespond to our anxiety, but it seems
it's always there.
We want to set up our lives soanxiety only happens when it's supposed
(25:07):
to, like in times of danger.
Laura Rhodes Levin explainshow to find peace today with her
book the Missing Piece Rewireyour brain, reduce anxiety and recreate
your life.
She helps people calm theirnervous systems and restore their
brains to overcome the selfinflicted chaos we all live in that
impacts both children andadults as we run from place to place
(25:29):
and are always under adeadline with no time to recharge.
Too often it's not until we'rein our 50s when we realize we can
finally do me.
But by that time we don't evenknow who me is.
According to Laura, we've beenso caught up in all the things we
think we should be doing thatwe don't have any idea of how to
do what we really want to door take time for ourselves.
(25:52):
This sets a bad example forour children.
It's important to model forkids so they can learn that they
need to take time for them.
It also stops the anxiety cycle.
As adults, we need to learnhow to play again, create a calm
and make ourselves feel good.
This behavior sets a goodexample for our children too.
(26:13):
Laura when you have children,they're going to do what they see.
And if they see a lot of andfeel a lot of anxiety and frenzy,
that's the way they're goingto develop.
And I can't even imagine withall of the overstimulation that children
have today, can you imagine in20, 30 years how frenzied our society's
going to be?
I mean, it's just going toescalate, isn't it?
(26:34):
Yeah.
And you know, nature is prettydarn smart.
So I'm seeing a bunch ofyounger, like real younger people
who are anti grid in some ways.
They're, you know, thependulum will swing.
It always does.
I've heard that, that there'ssome 20 somethings they want to buy.
(26:55):
What they call dumb phones.
Dumb phones.
You just make phone calls and text.
That's it, I guess.
Do they come with the longcord so you can walk around like,
oh.
Wouldn'T that be nice?
So you can wreck your mother'swallpaper when you're trying to stretch
it into the other room?
Yeah, right.
Yeah, his wallpaper's back now.
(27:18):
Yeah, yeah.
So they're being actually veryin tune with what's natural when
you think about it.
You know, that's what I findmost people when you hear them say,
oh my God, they're looking ata sunset, they're looking at a mountain
(27:38):
peak with snow on it, or twobirds doing some dance in the sky,
where nature is a part of usand it is so connected to our spirituality
and our.
Our centeredness and synergy.
Well, I think it engages uswhen you think about it.
(28:01):
You know, I've gone out tolook at the falling stars.
You know, certain times of theyear you can see them.
And of course that requirespatience because they're not going
to just come skating acrossthe sky.
You have to wait.
So that teaches what, a littlebit of patience and a calm.
Yeah.
And just laying outside atnight looking at the stars and listen,
(28:27):
I love air conditioning.
I love my comfy bed.
I'm not, you know, I am acreature of comfort, but that's physical
comfort.
I'm talking about spiritualcomfort and mental comfort.
So your book, the MissingPeace, which is spelled P E A C E,
which is so appropriatebecause I do think we're missing
(28:49):
the peace.
There doesn't seem to be peacein society and we don't have the
inner peace that we should have.
I love the fact that your bookteaches that happiness is within
people's grasp.
And your book will teachpeople how to touch it, feel it,
and nurture their natural desires.
Not what society says weshould want.
(29:11):
Yeah.
And reprogramming themessaging that we don't deserve it.
A lot of people, if you askthem, are you deserving of happiness?
They will most often respond,yes, but not inside.
They talk very negatively to themselves.
They're very, very hard onthemselves and they feel good about
(29:33):
that.
And that's not the secret, inmy opinion.
I find that.
I know when I went to recovery in.
I started in 2009, I had to gothree times over a period of two
years just because I had somany layers to divulge and, you know,
get rid of.
Sure.
The.
(29:53):
The biggest part about that, Idid an EMDR session.
And for those that don't knowwhat that is, it's eye movement desensitization.
Oh, crap.
I forget what the R is anyway.
And I don't know the name of it.
Yeah.
Anyway, so what it did, itliterally almost helped me flip a
(30:13):
switch in my thinking andviewing myself from unworthy to worthy.
And it took a lot of time.
And because, I mean, changedoesn't happen overnight, but learning
to start thinking in apositive way about myself and accepting
the mistakes that I make, andit's okay.
And as I progress in myrecovery, learning to love myself
(30:41):
regardless of my mistakes inthe past, and anytime that a negative
thought would pop in my head,I would literally have to catch.
It, give it the boot like a.
Good kick out of my head, andreplace it with something positive.
And that simple.
Seemingly simple, because it'snot an easy.
(31:01):
It's easier said than done.
It took a lot of practice.
But, man, did that pay off.
Because now it doesn't matter.
Good day, bad day, what otherpeople may say or not.
It doesn't affect how I feelabout myself.
And when I'm having a low dayor you're tired or whatever, I just
take a minute and breathe andflip that switch in my head and allow
(31:25):
myself room for failure androom for error, but still in a loving
way.
Yeah.
What you're doing is.
I love it so much.
And what you're doing is, isyou're rewiring your brain.
You're training your brain togo in a different direction in your
(31:46):
response.
Instead of being hard on yourself.
You go, I'm.
I'm gonna learn.
And maybe this isn't even a mistake.
Maybe I had to go down thisroad to get to the road that I'm
on now.
Exactly.
And that really is rewiringyour brain.
You've done that.
They've actually proved that,haven't they?
(32:07):
With MRIs and various devicesthat they can monitor brain waves
and what's going on in thebrain that the brain really does
re establish and what.
Create new synapses and so forth?
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
New behavior.
I mean, everybody has alreadydone it.
If you set your alarm for 6amevery day and Saturday comes and
(32:28):
you can sleep as long as youwant, you're still waking up at 6.
Your brain is programmed, andthat goes on many different levels.
So we have to change theprogram inside of us.
Yes.
Beautiful.
Now I'm Seeing too about yourbook, that people need to understand
how fear is underneath their anger.
(32:49):
So the anxiety and the fearpeople have, is that usually linked
to anger?
I think so.
And Kathy, I learned this, youknow, doing my four step.
You put down all yourresentments and then you look at
the fear that drove that behavior.
And then if you just look atit from a purely brain oriented thought,
(33:15):
anxiety is a fight flight response.
So you're either going to runor fight.
And those are both fearinduced actions.
So when you're going to fight,when you're angry, there's something
you're afraid of and then whenyou figure out what it is you're
(33:38):
afraid of, like if we just goback to someone cutting you off on
the freeway, one of therewirings I've done is first of all
someone cuts you off so yourbody genuinely feels a threat to
its life.
So it has to respond, itresponds quickly.
And we usually get angry about that.
But when you're able to go,okay, I'm angry because that was
(34:02):
a response to fear.
And instead of thinking whatan, I don't know what we're allowed
to say on the show, but what,what a bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep,
bleep.
And then you're angry andupset for like five, six miles because
we were afraid.
But now when I get cut off, Ido, I, I respond.
(34:24):
And then I think, well, maybehis wife's in labor or maybe his
friend's on the way to the hospital.
And then I'm glad they wentpast me.
Then I'm like, okay, yeah,good for you, congratulations dad.
And then I, then I feel good,that immediate and that's where you
have that anxiety that youneed and then you know how to put
(34:47):
it down.
I usually think, oh, there'sanother nimrod with a driver's license
and.
Nimrod, my.
Word of the day, I'm going touse that on the radio tonight.
Nimrod.
Yeah, but that doesn't feelgood within our bodies.
(35:08):
And you know, there's enoughstuff that's real that doesn't feel
good in our bodies.
We may as well like, you know,feed our bodies good stuff mentally,
physically.
So we shouldn't ruminate onthings because people do that.
And I think women are moreguilty of it.
They let something bug themand they keep rehearsing and rehearsing
(35:28):
and rehearsing something intheir brain.
Yeah, yeah.
And again, I try to encouragepeople, if you're going to ruminate,
ruminate on the Solution, noton the problem.
Get into action about what youcan do better, but also understanding
(35:51):
that the rumination is habit.
You're actually.
When you ruminate, you'reactually releasing neurotransmitters
and brain activity that ishappy to be called upon over and
over and over again.
It gives us like a.
A rush in a way.
But when you know, okay, I'm.
(36:11):
I'm just not going there.
And you go back to yoursenses, turn on some music you really
like, read something, watchsomething on tv.
Engage in an activity thatshuts that brain off, the ruminating
will stop.
But you can't just stop anything.
You have to redirect your action.
(36:32):
That's how the brains work.
It's like shiny keys to a babywho's crying.
That's the important partabout the shiny keys.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
My brain, of course, I've beentold that nobody wants to go inside
my head because it's a scaryplace to be.
But when I go to sleep atnight, I've got all kinds of stuff
rolling around in my head.
(36:53):
I will quite often listen tothe radio just to keep from my brain
overwhelming me or something.
Yeah, absolutely.
And I have a whole chapter inthe book about it's okay to fall
asleep to the television.
I don't know what the big dealin that is.
It actually, when you watchtv, your brain shifts into an alpha
(37:16):
wave, which is one stepcloser, closer to delta, which is
your sleep wave.
And it literally is hypnotic.
You actually get put into atrance when you're watching tv.
And if you're trying to fallasleep, if you watch something that
interests you enough to payattention but isn't making you think
(37:37):
you'll fall asleep or read or.
Radio audible is a great way to.
Fall asleep too, but notnecessarily have the smart device,
if that's what you're using tolisten to these things next to you,
because there's what bluelight they emit, which keep you up.
Right?
Well, not television.
I don't.
(37:57):
You know, I haven't done theactual experiments in my experience
with life as a human being andthe humans that I know.
Television can very easily putyou to sleep.
Oh, yeah.
But, you know, when you'relistening to a book on tape, you're
not listening, looking at yourphone, you're just listening.
I love that you're listeningto a radio because it engages your
(38:21):
brain enough to not ruminateand your body's already tired and
you, you do naturally fall asleep.
Well, it keeps my mind off mymind, if that makes sense.
Totally you're coming to your senses.
Right.
You're going to your ears.
You're using your sense ofsound to escape from the noise.
(38:46):
So do you have some goldennuggets you can share with women
on how they can reduce theiranxiety, find their happiness?
Obviously, we want them tocheck out your book, but I wonder
if there are a few goldennuggets you could kind of share that
they can think about.
Sure.
You know, being.
I don't know if your audienceis familiar with the four Agreements.
(39:09):
I don't love reading the book,but I love the.
The four tenements behind it,the agreements themselves.
And the first one is beimpeccable with your word.
And that means don't callyourself things that aren't true.
Don't say you'll be happy todo something that you really don't
want to do you.
(39:30):
There are certain things we dohave to do, but I find that a lot.
As you said, women especiallysay yes to things because they don't
want to be bad guys, and theydon't know how to set boundaries,
because if they setboundaries, they're bad.
They're inconsiderate.
But setting boundaries doesnot make you a bad guy.
It makes you a healthy guy.
(39:52):
So only say yes when you wantto say yes.
I had to learn that in recovery.
I had actually had to ask mycounselor, and I kid you not, when
I was at the age of 40,sitting there in recovery in 2009,
and ask what the definition ofboundaries was.
And she literally, Mycounselor made me practice no.
(40:12):
And I was dating my.
My.
My.
My husband, which I ended upmarrying, but she made me practice
making a date and thenbreaking it and practicing no and
not giving a reason.
And it was the best word Iever learned as I was learning to
rebuild myself is settingthose boundaries and feeling good
(40:33):
about it and not, you know,oh, my God, I shouldn't have done
that.
And why.
What's he gon.
All this craziness in ourheads, and it's okay to say no and
say no.
I just can't.
Right.
And not explain.
Yep.
No means no sentence.
Right.
No is a complete sentence.
Absolutely.
The other thing women don't dooften enough is say yes to help.
(40:56):
Yeah.
You know, I got this.
Oh, it's okay.
And you reminded me, Kathy, ofsomething I haven't thought about
in a while.
But when I first got sober, mysponsor made me practice saying yes.
So if someone asked if Iwanted water, even if I didn't want
water, I had to say yes.
Let people do things for you,it actually makes them feel good
(41:21):
and they're entitled to behelpful just as much as you're entitled
to get help.
And so the big visual I wouldgive to the women who are listening
is be a fountain, which meansgive, absolutely give.
But in order to give, if yougave from a fountain that had absolutely
(41:46):
nothing coming into thatreservoir, you would just hear just
this gurgle, this likedesperate gurgle of an empty fountain.
Trying to give.
And receiving is what allowsyou to give.
And the, the other is true.
If you only take and you don'tgive, then you've got a stagnant
(42:09):
fountain with like, you know,the mosquitoes and the algae on the
top.
And that's what happens whenyou're selfish.
Selfish and self love are very different.
So finding that beautifulbalance of saying, yes, please, I
would love your help and yes,I would love to do that, no, I don't
(42:34):
want to do that.
So that you're being veryconscious of what you're giving your
fountain to and making surethat you're taking time to fill it
up.
It's self validating, isn't it?
Oh, yeah, it is.
Like I'm a big giver.
I do a lot of charities and.
I do a lot for other people.
(42:54):
And just recently I'm movingto, from LA to Minnesota and I have
a lot of really solid friendsover there.
And my one friend is helpingme so much and I'm not used to, because
I'm like a machine, right.
Superwoman.
I'm doing everything.
And for her to be there and doall these things, set up my apartment
(43:16):
and unpack my boxes while I'mat work, it was really hard, like
you were saying, to justaccept that help because I immediately
said, oh no, no, I'll do itwhen I get there.
And then I'm like, kathy, stopfor a minute.
She's offering to help.
Accept the help.
You are not superwoman.
And if she's doing it out oflove, well then just let her because
(43:36):
she wants to be a part ofhelping you like you help other people.
And so I had to do that.
And it's been actually really nice.
Right, right, absolutely.
It's so, and we're, you know,the superwoman thing is just so absurd.
It really is.
Yeah, it is.
(43:57):
We aren't born with capes.
But I do look good in thecape, Shelly, I gotta say.
Oh, I bet you do.
You know, and when I, when Iwas a little girl, I was convinced
that I could probably flybecause I'd seen you Know stuff on
tv.
And I remember standing onthis cement wall that was on our
patio, which had quite a drop.
(44:18):
My mother had to grab mebecause I was going to jump off.
I had my arms out.
Oh, yeah.
I was convinced.
So.
Well, and if you think aboutit, who really wants to be a superhero?
You know, always battlingcriminals and bullets are flying
and you're going there.
(44:39):
It's a terrible job.
It's just awful.
Sure.
So some of these steps willhelp people find their inner peace,
their happiness.
You've got some terrificinsights here that I think a lot
of people can really, reallygrasp just by getting your book,
the Missing Piece, Rewire yourbrain, reduce anxiety, and recreate
(45:00):
your life.
Where do people find thatbook, Laura?
So you can find it on Amazon,but here's the thing.
Even though it's spelled theMissing Piece, P E, A, C, E, for
some reason, Amazon loves tocorrect that and put in the Missing
Piece by Shel Silverstein andgive you a children's poetry book.
So if you want to buy it onAmazon, you have to look up my name,
(45:24):
Laura Rhodes Levin, and thenthe book will come up.
Okay.
All right.
You can also call your localbookstore, and if they don't have
it, ask them to order it, and they'll.
They'll tell you when it comes in.
Wonderful.
And you also have a MissingPiece center for Anxiety.
Can people work with you remotely?
(45:45):
You know, no one legally,because you can't perform across
states.
But more than that in personis just.
It's just so different.
If all you have access to istelehealth, by all means do it.
But for the work we do here,this is very important person stuff.
(46:07):
Sure.
We have a lot of people whocome from out of state, and they
stay someplace local at anextended stay, and in a few months,
they.
They go back different people,and that you deserve it.
Yeah.
And a lot of insurances willcover that sort of thing.
So where exactly is yourcenter located?
I'm in Agoura Hills,California, which is really just
(46:29):
outside of Los Angeles or theSan Fernando Valley.
Okay.
And what is the name of yourcenter again?
The Missing Piece center for Anxiety.
Okay.
So people can look that up andthey can reach out to you.
And if they can't and they'renot able to actually go to your facility,
your book is a wonderful resource.
I really am so excited aboutpeople being able to get it.
(46:54):
And I knew that women my age,I'm 57, would resonate with it, but
I've been getting feedbackthat someone gave it to their 19
year old as a present, and they.
So I feel like it has a wideraudience even than what I had expected
it to.
So if you're listening and youget my book, I really hope it helps
(47:16):
and that it gives you morethan even what you bought the book
for.
You're really hitting with theheartbeat of humanity and what we're
dealing with today.
I mean, this is super timely, Laura.
And you know exactly whathumans need and maybe how to help
us, because technology, AI,all of that, that's not human.
So we got all of that going on too.
It's like, just think about it.
(47:38):
In 10 years, we may have toask, when you're on the phone, are
you human?
Because AI may not be actuallya person talking to you.
Right.
I know that a lot.
I'm so sick of pointing outmotorcycles and bridges.
Yeah, right.
Very true.
The navigation don't get soclose to that bridge.
It's like I have to go underit, you know?
(47:59):
Right.
No, you know, when it says,are you a robot?
Pick out, you know, where doyou see bridges in this picture?
Or where do you see.
And you have to click on the squares.
Oh, yeah.
Like, is there a motorcycle here?
Oh, sure.
Yep.
We want to make sure you're areal person.
Yeah, absolutely.
Laura, this has been terrific.
(48:20):
I really appreciate you beingon the show.
Oh, thank you.
I'm so glad.
I'm so grateful that you bothhave me on and that, Kathy, you were
here for it.
Yes, me too.
Thank you, Laura.
Thank you for the work you doas women, helping women be those
warriors but without reallyentering into combat.
(48:45):
Absolutely.
Women can be empowered withoutever using a weapon.
Thank you, Shelley and Kathy.
Thank you, Laura.
We hope you've enjoyed thislatest episode.
And if you want to hear moreepisodes of Women Road warriors or
learn more about our show, besure to check out womenroadwarriors.com
(49:05):
and please follow us on social media.
And don't forget to subscribeto our podcast on our website.
We also have a selection ofpodcasts just for women.
There are a series of podcastsfrom different podcasters.
So if you're in the mood forwomen's podcasts, just click the
Power network tab onwomenroadwarriors.com youm'll have
a variety of shows to listento anytime you want to.
(49:27):
Podcasts Made for Women, WomenRoad warriors is on all the major
podcast channels like Apple,Spotify, Amazon, Audible, YouTube
and others.
So check us out and pleasefollow us wherever you listen to
podcasts.
Thanks for listening.
You've been listening to WomenRoad warriors with Shelly Johnson
(49:48):
and Kathy Tucaro.
If you want to be a guest onthe show or have a topic or feedback,
email us@sjohnsonomenroadwarriors.com.
This is Women Road warriorswith Shelly Johnson and Kathy Tucaro.
From the corporate office tothe cab of a truck, they're here
to inspire and empower womenin all professions.
So gear down, sit back and enjoy.
(00:23):
Welcome.
We're an award winning show ddedicated to empowering women in
every profession throughinspiring stories and expert insights.
No topics off limits.
On our show, we power women onthe road to success with expert and
celebrity interviews andinformation you need.
I'm Shelley.
And I'm Kathy.
(00:44):
Are you overcome with anxietyand worry?
Does it seem like your worldis always full of tension?
Are you depressed a lot?
Many people are feeling this way.
Laura Rhodes Levin is alicensed therapist who specializes
in treating anxiety,depression and trauma.
She's the author of theMissing Rewire youe Brain, Reduce
(01:06):
Anxiety and Recreate youe Life.
Laura is the founder of theMissing Peace center for Anxiety.
She's a highly respectedexpert on psychological issues and
has been interviewed by manymedia outlets.
Laura offers psychotherapy,neurofeedback, art therapy and other
treatments to calm the nervoussystem and restore the brain.
(01:27):
She has valuable insights thatwe wanted to tap into to help our
listeners.
We have Laura with us today.
Welcome, Laura.
Thank you so much for being onthe show.
Oh, my pleasure, Laura.
We're really looking forwardto unpacking what you know to help
our listeners who may be suffering.
There's so much anxiety today.
(01:47):
Is that all because thebrain's gone haywire?
I know that's not a properdiagnostic term, but many, many people
feel.
I like haywire.
Haywire.
Yeah, exactly.
But, you know, I think manypeople feel out of control, especially
since the pandemic.
Yeah.
And I think, I think haywireis a great way to put it actually,
because our anxiety issupposed to be there.
(02:10):
I, I often tell people it's.
It's not what's wrong withyou, it's what's right with you.
Our anxiety is part of ourfight flight response, which is essential
to our survival.
But in today's haywire world,where it feels like everything's
an emergency, everything hasto get done right now our bodies
(02:32):
are being dumped withadrenaline and cortisol and it's
like everything is urgent andour brains are not built to live
on a constantly urgent basis.
And we're just learning, andsome of us have never learned that
it's really important to notlive that way, to let your messages
(02:56):
go to voicemail.
You don't have to text backright away.
And giving yourself permissionto let your.
Brain regulate and relax asfast as our society Moves.
With all the technology andall the devices, everybody's move,
move, move.
We're more impatient todaythan we've ever been.
(03:16):
So I'm not sure we know how todo that anymore.
I think it's a skill we're losing.
Isn't that the truth?
It's true.
And today's modern society,our bodies and our brains are suffering
because all of our creaturecomforts, we're not climbing the
steeps for lavender anymoreand hunting mammoth.
(03:40):
So our bodies are not gettingwhat it needs naturally, what they
need naturally to stay healthy.
And so we have to invent allthis stuff to keep our bodies moving.
And the opposite is true forour brains.
We used to just gather thelavender and then the sun went down
and we looked at the stars andmaybe beat a drum.
(04:03):
So our brains and bodies arein very uncaught up states of being
with the life we've created.
You know, it's interesting, Ithink I read somewhere that when
electricity started becomingvery commonplace, people weren't
going to bed when they'resupposed to, and it was creating
(04:25):
more tension and anxiety.
I'm not sure they use the wordanxiety, but today technology is
constant.
People go to bed with theircell phones, their smartphones, they're
constantly being overstimulated.
Yeah, yeah.
And from what I understand, inaddition to that, the industrial
(04:46):
age, the idea that we need tosleep so that we can work nine to
five is also not natural.
We get very upset when wedon't sleep through the night.
But it used to be like yousaid, we went to bed, the sun went
down and you woke up a fewhours later.
(05:08):
Maybe you had relations withyour partner and then you both went
back to sleep and you woke upagain at 5 or 6.
And that's our just natural rhythm.
Yeah.
So we're not following ourcircadian rhythms.
Can that lead to anxiety?
Oh, for sure.
It just leads to dysregulation.
(05:28):
I'm sure.
I think, and forgive me if I'mwrong, Shelly, but I think you said
Kathy lives in Alaska.
No, Kathy.
I work up in Northern Canada.
Northern Canada.
Okay.
I don't know why my brainpictured Alaska, but you know, seasonal
affective disorder, when we'redeprived from what we're normally
(05:50):
exposed to, our.
Our bodies and our brainsdon't feel comfortable.
Yeah.
Like I work in the winter, I'mso far north that when I'm on night
shifts, I don't see thedaylight for two weeks.
I come in, I go, I leave forwork at 5:30 at night, and it's Pitch
black.
I get back in at seven in themorning and it's still pitch black.
(06:12):
So.
Yeah, it's rough and we'rekind of in, in.
Our rooms are very small.
They're cute.
It's like a little cubicle.
So it's.
Yeah.
A lot of people have that,like you say, seasonal affective
disorder.
So people will bring in one ofthose lamp lights to try and give
them like sun rays and stuff.
So.
(06:32):
And it affects a lot of peopleup here, like the depression and
more anxiety and just, youknow, they're really antsy and edgy
and nothing, you know, nothingis working.
So that, that sunlight is, isa big thing.
And not to mention nightshift, your, your, your circadian
rhythm is completely out of whack.
And I find like I'm, I'm 55,and the older I get, the harder it
(06:54):
is.
Like I, I feel like I got runover by a train right now and I'm
only a week in.
Right.
Our recovery is different aswe get older.
Yeah.
So we're doing a lot of thisto ourselves.
Yeah.
And, and, and society.
You know what I mean?
We get into habits of, youknow, a text message.
I don't know when it becamelike a thing.
(07:18):
It used to be just a way tosend a message so someone could see
it.
And now it's like if you don'trespond to a text message right away,
people are like, is he mad?
You know, why, why haven'tthey called?
And it's, it's just not that.
And I don't think I feel likewords like mindfulness or self care
(07:40):
are used a lot, but verymisunderstood and underutilized.
I don't think we really fully.
Like, if I could change theconcept of mindfulness, I wouldn't
call it mindfulness.
I'd either call it bodiness orsensefulness, because it is about
being in the moment.
(08:00):
But that's, that's not whereour mind often is.
It's our five senses thatbring us into the moment, that allow
us to be present.
And so that's our way out of technology.
I think.
I think it makes total sense.
Yeah.
And then believe it or not,the more you do that stuff, the more
(08:23):
grounded you are, the morecalm your body is, you actually become
much more productive.
It's that, you know, bumpersticker, working smarter, not harder.
And we just train ourselvesand we don't know how to fill ourselves
up anymore.
Sure.
You know, what works for me isdaily meditation.
(08:45):
About 20 minutes.
I've been including that inmy, since my recovery days.
I have 12 years sober and Ifind that when I don't do it, I'm
scattered.
I'm not as calm when that orwhen problems arise, I get more flighty
sort of things.
So for me it, it makes a bigdifference that I include it in a
(09:09):
self disciplinary way for myown mental health and for my own
well being and I guess for thewell being of other people if I'm
not responding.
Kathy, did you meditate today?
No.
Then get back out, get inthere and do it.
Sure.
Well, good for you too.
I'll be 18 in October.
(09:30):
Oh bravo.
That's actually, you know,where I started exploring and I think
meditation can be confusingfor people and they think it's just
about banishing your thoughtsand it isn't.
It is about grounding yourselfand meditation in the non traditional
(09:51):
sense, but in the veryeffective sense can be gardening
or cooking or drawing ormaking a necklace or sports.
There are all ways to justquiet the mind and be present and
meditation is such a wonderfulway to do that.
(10:14):
Stay tuned for more of WomenRoad warriors coming up.
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(11:23):
Welcome back to Women Roadwarriors with Shelly Johnson and
Kathy Tucaro.
If you're enjoying thisinformative episode of Women Road
Warriors, I wanted to mentionKathy and I explore all kinds of
topics that will power you onthe road to success.
We feature a lot of expertinterviews, plus we feature celebrities
(11:44):
and women who've been trailblazers.
Please check out ourpodcast@womenroadwarriors.com and
click on our Episodes page.
We're also available Whereveryou listen to podcasts on all the
major podcast channels likeSpotify, Apple, YouTube, Amazon,
Music, Audible, you name it.
Check us out and bookmark our podcast.
(12:04):
Also, don't forget to followus on social media, on Twitter, Facebook,
Instagram, Pinterest,LinkedIn, YouTube and other sites.
And tell others about us.
We want to help as many womenas possible.
Today's modern society isoverstimulated with devices that
don't give our brains thechance to disconnect and re regulate.
Our brains and bodies arehopelessly caught up in the chaos
(12:27):
of the lives we've created.
We're dysregulated.
Our bodies are beingoverburdened with adrenaline and
cortisol, with things that arealways urgent.
This leads to tension, anxietyand worry.
We're in a state of fightflight and we don't know why or how
to stop it.
We need to learn how to quietthe mind and be present.
According to Laura Rhodes Levin.
(12:49):
Laura is a licensed therapistwho specializes in treating anxiety,
depression and trauma.
She's the author of theMissing Rewire your brain, reduce
anxiety and recreate your life.
Laura is the founder of theMissing Peace center for Anxiety.
She offers psychotherapy,neurofeedback, art therapy and other
(13:10):
treatments to calm the nervoussystem and restore the brain.
Laura, now your book talksabout happiness needs to be within
a person's grasp and there islife beyond anxiety.
What exactly does your book explore?
I'm seeing that you say thatanxiety is not a set of pre wired
uncontrollable buttons.
(13:31):
It's a matter of finding outwho installed the buttons right and
how to unwire them.
We would love to all know howto do that because I, I suffer from
anxiety now and then and I'vehad to learn to deep breathe, engage
that parasympathetic nervoussystem, that sort of thing, you know.
Yeah.
And the idea in the book isthat we don't want to always be responding
(13:57):
to the anxiety.
We want to set up our lives sothat anxiety only happens when it's
supposed to happen.
If someone cuts you off on thefreeway, you're supposed to get anxious
and swerve and move very quickly.
But I think the book is broken down.
(14:18):
Each chapter is threedifferent sections and they're short
chapters.
So the first part is a time inmy life when anxiety was ruling me.
It's like a specific story andthen a way that I avoid being in
that situation now, whetherit's set a boundary or making my
(14:40):
own choices or negative thinking.
And then the last part is alittle exercise that you can do to
apply it to your life, whichpeople don't have to do.
But I think when you.
When you put it into contextin yourself, it makes a lot more
sense.
(15:00):
So, for instance, I think alot of people.
Anxiety.
Have anxiety because they'rein careers that they thought they
were supposed to be in.
It's someone else's programming.
And yet you're just not happy.
Your life may look very goodon paper, but it's not really what's
(15:20):
your true purpose, your true desire?
And so once you start peelingaway the layers of what your parents
wanted you to do, what yourjob wants you to do, what society
wants you to do.
We talked earlier about cellphones and technology.
How much of that do you reallyhave to do?
(15:42):
And it's way less than you think.
So it's more about creatingthe life you want so that anxiety
happens in a natural, normalway where it's supposed to happen,
where we don't have to stopand breathe and collect ourselves.
That's great.
Those are really importanttools to have, especially when the
(16:06):
anxiety hits for real.
But why live in a constantstate of anxiety that just is.
We're not designed for that.
No, we're not.
It's not fun.
No, it's not fun at all.
And I think that children havemore anxiety today than they ever
had.
Yeah, there's so much demandon children today.
(16:27):
And their brains, they knowhow to work phones better than most
of their parents.
And they've got school.
And it seems like kids are so scheduled.
We came home from school andwe did our homework, and then we
went outside until the streetlights came off and we just played.
(16:48):
Yeah, you just played.
Like, okay, maybe once a weekyou took piano, but sure.
It's not like.
And the mom's just runningaround everywhere trying to get kids
back and forth.
And kids learn that chaos.
Oh, yeah.
Well, when you think about it,it's super stressful for the mom,
(17:08):
who is usually the one who'stransporting all the kids.
And most mothers are workingoutside the house, so they're putting
in 40 hours a week minimum.
And then they're having to fitin all of these extracurricular activities.
By the time the weekend comes,there are more activities.
They never have time to take astep back and relax.
Yeah, they don't.
(17:29):
And they feel guilty.
I was going to say, unlessyou're in the bathtub, but half the
time you get interrupted inthe bath anyway.
Mom.
Mom.
Yeah, yeah.
And, you know, I work withwomen all the time, you know, and
I mean, This, I hope thiscomes out the way I mean it to come
(17:53):
out.
But that is that not everybodyeven wanted to be a mom.
But we were talked into thisis what our purpose is.
And there's just so much.
I know it comes with a wholeother thing.
It's a beautiful thing, butthe making the meals and the market
and everything just non stop.
(18:15):
And women come to my office intheir 50s and they're taking this
breath like, okay, now I getto do me, but I don't even know who
me is.
They don't even know that theydon't know who me is.
And so we have a conversation.
What do you love to do?
I love to read, but I never do anymore.
(18:39):
Why don't you read this afternoon?
I'll feel guilty.
I should go to the market.
I should do this, I should do that.
And it's so important to modelfor your children that they need
to take time for them.
They get to do what they want too.
And you model that by doing ityourself and not feeling guilty.
(19:03):
Guilt is so stupid.
Oh, but society's good at guilting.
Just go up on social media,look at Facebook, Instagram, any
of it.
The interactions is guilt,guilt, guilt.
Or if you're looking atsomebody in their beautiful life,
then you feel like, gee, I'mnot doing enough.
Yeah, guilt and shame are justjoy stealers and they don't really
(19:25):
change anything except foryour personal vibration.
That's very true.
Now you founded the MissingPiece center for Anxiety.
What exactly do you cover there?
So in a nutshell, I think I'ma good therapist.
I think all my therapists hereare good.
But if your dog is stressedout, you're not going to say what
(19:46):
triggered you.
Fluffy, you're going to contact.
Right?
I didn't get my bone dag on it.
Right.
We don't know how to keep keepourselves calm and how to recreate
ourselves recreation.
So in the center we have musictherapy, where you just.
(20:10):
It's not about being a musician.
It's just about pounding adrum or strumming on something as
a way to just get out the day.
Aromatherapy, nutrition, massage.
Neurofeedback is known bysome, but not by others.
(20:31):
But neurofeedback is used byNASA to help their astronauts be
calm in space.
It's used by a lot of ourarmed forces in the face of trauma.
So we do neurofeedback here regularly.
We do art therapy or play therapy.
We do movement, we do breath work.
(20:52):
So it's all about learning howto play and how to make yourself
feel good.
And then when you're calm andyou know how to make yourself feel
good, we can talk about theproblems and actually be in a headspace
for solution instead of panicand unclear thinking.
(21:15):
So you're essentially primingpeople to get better and what to
calm the nervous system.
And now this restores thebrain, Is it all of these things
together basically create somesort of an equilibrium.
Yeah.
And most of my patients, to beclear, most of my patients come nine
to 25 hours a week.
(21:37):
It's called intensiveoutpatient or partial hospitalization
because they are sooverwhelmed with life or teens that
were forced back into schoolafter Covid with the social skills
they left with three years ago.
So now they have all thissocial anxiety.
They're supposed to be readyto be 17, but they're really 14 or
(22:01):
15.
So we take most insurances,most PPOs, but I make sure that everybody
gets everything because it's aunique recipe that in my experience,
it just works.
You know, Kathy, I tried drugsand alcohol and pills and all that
(22:23):
stuff.
All it did was help me be inthe moment, you know, like, I love
you, man.
This is great.
But it didn't teach me how tobecome friends with my brain.
And so that's why I wrote the book.
People are like, you need to franchise.
Open up a place here.
Open up a place here.
And I'm like, I really love my backyard.
(22:46):
I really like doing my stuff, too.
So that's why the book is very specific.
You're going to reduce youranxiety, you're going to rewire your
brain, and you are going torecreate your life.
That's.
Well, we should all love our lives.
That's the only thing that canmake this world a fabulous place,
(23:08):
is if we.
I mean, it already is fabulous.
But if everybody were livingthe life that made their vibration
so high and so happy, thiswould be so much easier.
And so if you do it foryourself, you're changing a piece
in your family that will thenhopefully echo like a ripple effect.
(23:35):
Stay tuned for more of womenroad warriors coming up.
Dean Michael, the tax doctor here.
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(24:16):
the story of the industry.
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Learn more@truckingmovesamerica.com.
(24:43):
Welcome back to Women Roadwarriors with Shelly Johnson and
Kathy Tucaro.
Both children and adults areanxious today.
It seems to be a constant inour lives.
We don't always want torespond to our anxiety, but it seems
it's always there.
We want to set up our lives soanxiety only happens when it's supposed
(25:07):
to, like in times of danger.
Laura Rhodes Levin explainshow to find peace today with her
book the Missing Piece Rewireyour brain, reduce anxiety and recreate
your life.
She helps people calm theirnervous systems and restore their
brains to overcome the selfinflicted chaos we all live in that
impacts both children andadults as we run from place to place
(25:29):
and are always under adeadline with no time to recharge.
Too often it's not until we'rein our 50s when we realize we can
finally do me.
But by that time we don't evenknow who me is.
According to Laura, we've beenso caught up in all the things we
think we should be doing thatwe don't have any idea of how to
do what we really want to door take time for ourselves.
(25:52):
This sets a bad example forour children.
It's important to model forkids so they can learn that they
need to take time for them.
It also stops the anxiety cycle.
As adults, we need to learnhow to play again, create a calm
and make ourselves feel good.
This behavior sets a goodexample for our children too.
(26:13):
Laura when you have children,they're going to do what they see.
And if they see a lot of andfeel a lot of anxiety and frenzy,
that's the way they're goingto develop.
And I can't even imagine withall of the overstimulation that children
have today, can you imagine in20, 30 years how frenzied our society's
going to be?
I mean, it's just going toescalate, isn't it?
(26:34):
Yeah.
And you know, nature is prettydarn smart.
So I'm seeing a bunch ofyounger, like real younger people
who are anti grid in some ways.
They're, you know, thependulum will swing.
It always does.
I've heard that, that there'ssome 20 somethings they want to buy.
(26:55):
What they call dumb phones.
Dumb phones.
You just make phone calls and text.
That's it, I guess.
Do they come with the longcord so you can walk around like,
oh.
Wouldn'T that be nice?
So you can wreck your mother'swallpaper when you're trying to stretch
it into the other room?
Yeah, right.
Yeah, his wallpaper's back now.
(27:18):
Yeah, yeah.
So they're being actually veryin tune with what's natural when
you think about it.
You know, that's what I findmost people when you hear them say,
oh my God, they're looking ata sunset, they're looking at a mountain
(27:38):
peak with snow on it, or twobirds doing some dance in the sky,
where nature is a part of usand it is so connected to our spirituality
and our.
Our centeredness and synergy.
Well, I think it engages uswhen you think about it.
(28:01):
You know, I've gone out tolook at the falling stars.
You know, certain times of theyear you can see them.
And of course that requirespatience because they're not going
to just come skating acrossthe sky.
You have to wait.
So that teaches what, a littlebit of patience and a calm.
Yeah.
And just laying outside atnight looking at the stars and listen,
(28:27):
I love air conditioning.
I love my comfy bed.
I'm not, you know, I am acreature of comfort, but that's physical
comfort.
I'm talking about spiritualcomfort and mental comfort.
So your book, the MissingPeace, which is spelled P E A C E,
which is so appropriatebecause I do think we're missing
(28:49):
the peace.
There doesn't seem to be peacein society and we don't have the
inner peace that we should have.
I love the fact that your bookteaches that happiness is within
people's grasp.
And your book will teachpeople how to touch it, feel it,
and nurture their natural desires.
Not what society says weshould want.
(29:11):
Yeah.
And reprogramming themessaging that we don't deserve it.
A lot of people, if you askthem, are you deserving of happiness?
They will most often respond,yes, but not inside.
They talk very negatively to themselves.
They're very, very hard onthemselves and they feel good about
(29:33):
that.
And that's not the secret, inmy opinion.
I find that.
I know when I went to recovery in.
I started in 2009, I had to gothree times over a period of two
years just because I had somany layers to divulge and, you know,
get rid of.
Sure.
The.
(29:53):
The biggest part about that, Idid an EMDR session.
And for those that don't knowwhat that is, it's eye movement desensitization.
Oh, crap.
I forget what the R is anyway.
And I don't know the name of it.
Yeah.
Anyway, so what it did, itliterally almost helped me flip a
(30:13):
switch in my thinking andviewing myself from unworthy to worthy.
And it took a lot of time.
And because, I mean, changedoesn't happen overnight, but learning
to start thinking in apositive way about myself and accepting
the mistakes that I make, andit's okay.
And as I progress in myrecovery, learning to love myself
(30:41):
regardless of my mistakes inthe past, and anytime that a negative
thought would pop in my head,I would literally have to catch.
It, give it the boot like a.
Good kick out of my head, andreplace it with something positive.
And that simple.
Seemingly simple, because it'snot an easy.
(31:01):
It's easier said than done.
It took a lot of practice.
But, man, did that pay off.
Because now it doesn't matter.
Good day, bad day, what otherpeople may say or not.
It doesn't affect how I feelabout myself.
And when I'm having a low dayor you're tired or whatever, I just
take a minute and breathe andflip that switch in my head and allow
(31:25):
myself room for failure androom for error, but still in a loving
way.
Yeah.
What you're doing is.
I love it so much.
And what you're doing is, isyou're rewiring your brain.
You're training your brain togo in a different direction in your
(31:46):
response.
Instead of being hard on yourself.
You go, I'm.
I'm gonna learn.
And maybe this isn't even a mistake.
Maybe I had to go down thisroad to get to the road that I'm
on now.
Exactly.
And that really is rewiringyour brain.
You've done that.
They've actually proved that,haven't they?
(32:07):
With MRIs and various devicesthat they can monitor brain waves
and what's going on in thebrain that the brain really does
re establish and what.
Create new synapses and so forth?
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
New behavior.
I mean, everybody has alreadydone it.
If you set your alarm for 6amevery day and Saturday comes and
(32:28):
you can sleep as long as youwant, you're still waking up at 6.
Your brain is programmed, andthat goes on many different levels.
So we have to change theprogram inside of us.
Yes.
Beautiful.
Now I'm Seeing too about yourbook, that people need to understand
how fear is underneath their anger.
(32:49):
So the anxiety and the fearpeople have, is that usually linked
to anger?
I think so.
And Kathy, I learned this, youknow, doing my four step.
You put down all yourresentments and then you look at
the fear that drove that behavior.
And then if you just look atit from a purely brain oriented thought,
(33:15):
anxiety is a fight flight response.
So you're either going to runor fight.
And those are both fearinduced actions.
So when you're going to fight,when you're angry, there's something
you're afraid of and then whenyou figure out what it is you're
(33:38):
afraid of, like if we just goback to someone cutting you off on
the freeway, one of therewirings I've done is first of all
someone cuts you off so yourbody genuinely feels a threat to
its life.
So it has to respond, itresponds quickly.
And we usually get angry about that.
But when you're able to go,okay, I'm angry because that was
(34:02):
a response to fear.
And instead of thinking whatan, I don't know what we're allowed
to say on the show, but what,what a bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep,
bleep.
And then you're angry andupset for like five, six miles because
we were afraid.
But now when I get cut off, Ido, I, I respond.
(34:24):
And then I think, well, maybehis wife's in labor or maybe his
friend's on the way to the hospital.
And then I'm glad they wentpast me.
Then I'm like, okay, yeah,good for you, congratulations dad.
And then I, then I feel good,that immediate and that's where you
have that anxiety that youneed and then you know how to put
(34:47):
it down.
I usually think, oh, there'sanother nimrod with a driver's license
and.
Nimrod, my.
Word of the day, I'm going touse that on the radio tonight.
Nimrod.
Yeah, but that doesn't feelgood within our bodies.
(35:08):
And you know, there's enoughstuff that's real that doesn't feel
good in our bodies.
We may as well like, you know,feed our bodies good stuff mentally,
physically.
So we shouldn't ruminate onthings because people do that.
And I think women are moreguilty of it.
They let something bug themand they keep rehearsing and rehearsing
(35:28):
and rehearsing something intheir brain.
Yeah, yeah.
And again, I try to encouragepeople, if you're going to ruminate,
ruminate on the Solution, noton the problem.
Get into action about what youcan do better, but also understanding
(35:51):
that the rumination is habit.
You're actually.
When you ruminate, you'reactually releasing neurotransmitters
and brain activity that ishappy to be called upon over and
over and over again.
It gives us like a.
A rush in a way.
But when you know, okay, I'm.
(36:11):
I'm just not going there.
And you go back to yoursenses, turn on some music you really
like, read something, watchsomething on tv.
Engage in an activity thatshuts that brain off, the ruminating
will stop.
But you can't just stop anything.
You have to redirect your action.
(36:32):
That's how the brains work.
It's like shiny keys to a babywho's crying.
That's the important partabout the shiny keys.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
My brain, of course, I've beentold that nobody wants to go inside
my head because it's a scaryplace to be.
But when I go to sleep atnight, I've got all kinds of stuff
rolling around in my head.
(36:53):
I will quite often listen tothe radio just to keep from my brain
overwhelming me or something.
Yeah, absolutely.
And I have a whole chapter inthe book about it's okay to fall
asleep to the television.
I don't know what the big dealin that is.
It actually, when you watchtv, your brain shifts into an alpha
(37:16):
wave, which is one stepcloser, closer to delta, which is
your sleep wave.
And it literally is hypnotic.
You actually get put into atrance when you're watching tv.
And if you're trying to fallasleep, if you watch something that
interests you enough to payattention but isn't making you think
(37:37):
you'll fall asleep or read or.
Radio audible is a great way to.
Fall asleep too, but notnecessarily have the smart device,
if that's what you're using tolisten to these things next to you,
because there's what bluelight they emit, which keep you up.
Right?
Well, not television.
I don't.
(37:57):
You know, I haven't done theactual experiments in my experience
with life as a human being andthe humans that I know.
Television can very easily putyou to sleep.
Oh, yeah.
But, you know, when you'relistening to a book on tape, you're
not listening, looking at yourphone, you're just listening.
I love that you're listeningto a radio because it engages your
(38:21):
brain enough to not ruminateand your body's already tired and
you, you do naturally fall asleep.
Well, it keeps my mind off mymind, if that makes sense.
Totally you're coming to your senses.
Right.
You're going to your ears.
You're using your sense ofsound to escape from the noise.
(38:46):
So do you have some goldennuggets you can share with women
on how they can reduce theiranxiety, find their happiness?
Obviously, we want them tocheck out your book, but I wonder
if there are a few goldennuggets you could kind of share that
they can think about.
Sure.
You know, being.
I don't know if your audienceis familiar with the four Agreements.
(39:09):
I don't love reading the book,but I love the.
The four tenements behind it,the agreements themselves.
And the first one is beimpeccable with your word.
And that means don't callyourself things that aren't true.
Don't say you'll be happy todo something that you really don't
want to do you.
(39:30):
There are certain things we dohave to do, but I find that a lot.
As you said, women especiallysay yes to things because they don't
want to be bad guys, and theydon't know how to set boundaries,
because if they setboundaries, they're bad.
They're inconsiderate.
But setting boundaries doesnot make you a bad guy.
It makes you a healthy guy.
(39:52):
So only say yes when you wantto say yes.
I had to learn that in recovery.
I had actually had to ask mycounselor, and I kid you not, when
I was at the age of 40,sitting there in recovery in 2009,
and ask what the definition ofboundaries was.
And she literally, Mycounselor made me practice no.
(40:12):
And I was dating my.
My.
My.
My husband, which I ended upmarrying, but she made me practice
making a date and thenbreaking it and practicing no and
not giving a reason.
And it was the best word Iever learned as I was learning to
rebuild myself is settingthose boundaries and feeling good
(40:33):
about it and not, you know,oh, my God, I shouldn't have done
that.
And why.
What's he gon.
All this craziness in ourheads, and it's okay to say no and
say no.
I just can't.
Right.
And not explain.
Yep.
No means no sentence.
Right.
No is a complete sentence.
Absolutely.
The other thing women don't dooften enough is say yes to help.
(40:56):
Yeah.
You know, I got this.
Oh, it's okay.
And you reminded me, Kathy, ofsomething I haven't thought about
in a while.
But when I first got sober, mysponsor made me practice saying yes.
So if someone asked if Iwanted water, even if I didn't want
water, I had to say yes.
Let people do things for you,it actually makes them feel good
(41:21):
and they're entitled to behelpful just as much as you're entitled
to get help.
And so the big visual I wouldgive to the women who are listening
is be a fountain, which meansgive, absolutely give.
But in order to give, if yougave from a fountain that had absolutely
(41:46):
nothing coming into thatreservoir, you would just hear just
this gurgle, this likedesperate gurgle of an empty fountain.
Trying to give.
And receiving is what allowsyou to give.
And the, the other is true.
If you only take and you don'tgive, then you've got a stagnant
(42:09):
fountain with like, you know,the mosquitoes and the algae on the
top.
And that's what happens whenyou're selfish.
Selfish and self love are very different.
So finding that beautifulbalance of saying, yes, please, I
would love your help and yes,I would love to do that, no, I don't
(42:34):
want to do that.
So that you're being veryconscious of what you're giving your
fountain to and making surethat you're taking time to fill it
up.
It's self validating, isn't it?
Oh, yeah, it is.
Like I'm a big giver.
I do a lot of charities and.
I do a lot for other people.
(42:54):
And just recently I'm movingto, from LA to Minnesota and I have
a lot of really solid friendsover there.
And my one friend is helpingme so much and I'm not used to, because
I'm like a machine, right.
Superwoman.
I'm doing everything.
And for her to be there and doall these things, set up my apartment
(43:16):
and unpack my boxes while I'mat work, it was really hard, like
you were saying, to justaccept that help because I immediately
said, oh no, no, I'll do itwhen I get there.
And then I'm like, kathy, stopfor a minute.
She's offering to help.
Accept the help.
You are not superwoman.
And if she's doing it out oflove, well then just let her because
(43:36):
she wants to be a part ofhelping you like you help other people.
And so I had to do that.
And it's been actually really nice.
Right, right, absolutely.
It's so, and we're, you know,the superwoman thing is just so absurd.
It really is.
Yeah, it is.
(43:57):
We aren't born with capes.
But I do look good in thecape, Shelly, I gotta say.
Oh, I bet you do.
You know, and when I, when Iwas a little girl, I was convinced
that I could probably flybecause I'd seen you Know stuff on
tv.
And I remember standing onthis cement wall that was on our
patio, which had quite a drop.
(44:18):
My mother had to grab mebecause I was going to jump off.
I had my arms out.
Oh, yeah.
I was convinced.
So.
Well, and if you think aboutit, who really wants to be a superhero?
You know, always battlingcriminals and bullets are flying
and you're going there.
(44:39):
It's a terrible job.
It's just awful.
Sure.
So some of these steps willhelp people find their inner peace,
their happiness.
You've got some terrificinsights here that I think a lot
of people can really, reallygrasp just by getting your book,
the Missing Piece, Rewire yourbrain, reduce anxiety, and recreate
(45:00):
your life.
Where do people find thatbook, Laura?
So you can find it on Amazon,but here's the thing.
Even though it's spelled theMissing Piece, P E, A, C, E, for
some reason, Amazon loves tocorrect that and put in the Missing
Piece by Shel Silverstein andgive you a children's poetry book.
So if you want to buy it onAmazon, you have to look up my name,
(45:24):
Laura Rhodes Levin, and thenthe book will come up.
Okay.
All right.
You can also call your localbookstore, and if they don't have
it, ask them to order it, and they'll.
They'll tell you when it comes in.
Wonderful.
And you also have a MissingPiece center for Anxiety.
Can people work with you remotely?
(45:45):
You know, no one legally,because you can't perform across
states.
But more than that in personis just.
It's just so different.
If all you have access to istelehealth, by all means do it.
But for the work we do here,this is very important person stuff.
(46:07):
Sure.
We have a lot of people whocome from out of state, and they
stay someplace local at anextended stay, and in a few months,
they.
They go back different people,and that you deserve it.
Yeah.
And a lot of insurances willcover that sort of thing.
So where exactly is yourcenter located?
I'm in Agoura Hills,California, which is really just
(46:29):
outside of Los Angeles or theSan Fernando Valley.
Okay.
And what is the name of yourcenter again?
The Missing Piece center for Anxiety.
Okay.
So people can look that up andthey can reach out to you.
And if they can't and they'renot able to actually go to your facility,
your book is a wonderful resource.
I really am so excited aboutpeople being able to get it.
(46:54):
And I knew that women my age,I'm 57, would resonate with it, but
I've been getting feedbackthat someone gave it to their 19
year old as a present, and they.
So I feel like it has a wideraudience even than what I had expected
it to.
So if you're listening and youget my book, I really hope it helps
(47:16):
and that it gives you morethan even what you bought the book
for.
You're really hitting with theheartbeat of humanity and what we're
dealing with today.
I mean, this is super timely, Laura.
And you know exactly whathumans need and maybe how to help
us, because technology, AI,all of that, that's not human.
So we got all of that going on too.
It's like, just think about it.
(47:38):
In 10 years, we may have toask, when you're on the phone, are
you human?
Because AI may not be actuallya person talking to you.
Right.
I know that a lot.
I'm so sick of pointing outmotorcycles and bridges.
Yeah, right.
Very true.
The navigation don't get soclose to that bridge.
It's like I have to go underit, you know?
(47:59):
Right.
No, you know, when it says,are you a robot?
Pick out, you know, where doyou see bridges in this picture?
Or where do you see.
And you have to click on the squares.
Oh, yeah.
Like, is there a motorcycle here?
Oh, sure.
Yep.
We want to make sure you're areal person.
Yeah, absolutely.
Laura, this has been terrific.
(48:20):
I really appreciate you beingon the show.
Oh, thank you.
I'm so glad.
I'm so grateful that you bothhave me on and that, Kathy, you were
here for it.
Yes, me too.
Thank you, Laura.
Thank you for the work you doas women, helping women be those
warriors but without reallyentering into combat.
(48:45):
Absolutely.
Women can be empowered withoutever using a weapon.
Thank you, Shelley and Kathy.
Thank you, Laura.
We hope you've enjoyed thislatest episode.
And if you want to hear moreepisodes of Women Road warriors or
learn more about our show, besure to check out womenroadwarriors.com
(49:05):
and please follow us on social media.
And don't forget to subscribeto our podcast on our website.
We also have a selection ofpodcasts just for women.
There are a series of podcastsfrom different podcasters.
So if you're in the mood forwomen's podcasts, just click the
Power network tab onwomenroadwarriors.com youm'll have
a variety of shows to listento anytime you want to.
(49:27):
Podcasts Made for Women, WomenRoad warriors is on all the major
podcast channels like Apple,Spotify, Amazon, Audible, YouTube
and others.
So check us out and pleasefollow us wherever you listen to
podcasts.
Thanks for listening.
You've been listening to WomenRoad warriors with Shelly Johnson
(49:48):
and Kathy Tucaro.
If you want to be a guest onthe show or have a topic or feedback,
email us@sjohnsonomenroadwarriors.com.
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