April 9, 2025 • 27 mins
In this episode of The Women’s Mental Health Podcast, we explore the overlooked yet powerful role of rest in repairing the nervous system—especially for women navigating ADHD, burnout, and emotional overwhelm. Join Randi Owsley, LMSW, and Jessica Bullwinkle, LMFT, two licensed psychotherapists with 23 years of expertise in women's mental health, as they dive into the science behind deep rest, how sleep impacts emotional regulation in ADHD, and why doing less might be your most effective coping tool. Whether you're exhausted, stuck in survival mode, or struggling with self-identity, this episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking healing through rest and recovery.
Get valuable information on The Role of Rest in Nervous System Repair—a deep dive into why sleep, stillness, and doing nothing can be essential parts of the healing process. Learn powerful coping skills and tools you can use to rebuild emotional resilience and navigate stress with greater ease. Find practical, heart-centered resources to help manage burnout, overwhelm, and neurodivergent challenges, all while honoring your need for rest and recovery. Whether you're healing from trauma, managing ADHD, or simply feeling stretched too thin, this episode supports your journey toward #WomensMentalHealth, #HealingFromBurnout, and whole-body wellness. Because yes—#RestIsProductive, and it’s time we treated it that way.
In upcoming episodes we’re diving deeper into essential topics that support your healing and growth. You’ll hear conversations on ADHD eating disorders and rest cycles, deep rest for trauma healing, and restorative practices tailored to neurodivergent women. These episodes are designed to offer tangible self-care practices and deeper insight into the mind-body connection—because your healing matters, and rest is a vital part of that journey.
FAQs
What is nervous system repair, and why is it important for women’s mental health?
How does rest help reset the nervous system?
What are common signs that your nervous system is overstressed?
Why do women struggle more with rest than men?
What are the best types of rest for nervous system healing?
How does poor sleep impact women’s mental health?
What’s the fastest way to calm an overstimulated nervous system?
How can busy women incorporate more rest into their lives?
How long does it take to repair an overstimulated nervous system?
Why is rest a radical act of self-care for women?
#NervousSystemRegulation #NervousSystemHealing #NervousSystemHealth #NervousSystemReset #AutonomicNervousSystem #ParasympatheticNervousSystem #SympatheticNervousSystem #HealthynervousSystem #NervousSystemSupport #rest
#SelfCare #SelfLove #Anxiety #Depression #Wellness #Mindfulness #Healing #SelfDiscovery #EmotionalAwareness #MindfulHealing #MentalWellnessJourney #EmotionalResilience #Thera
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The Women’s Mental Health Podcast, hosted by licensed therapists Randi Owsley MSW and Jessica Bullwinkle LMFT, PMH-C, offers educational and entertaining mental health content. This is not therapy or a substitute for professional care. No therapeutic relationship is formed by listening or engaging. Some links may be affiliate links, which may earn us a small commission at no extr
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Randi (00:05):
Welcome back to the women's mental health podcast.
I'm randy.
I'm And I'm Jess.
And we are two licensedpsychotherapists, and this is a
safe space where we talk aboutmental health, well being, and
strategies for coping withlife's challenges.
And how all of this is normal,and you are not alone.
Today we're diving into a topicthat is essential for your
mental health and ours, yet sooften overlooked.
(00:27):
Rest.
We're talking about the role ofrest in your nervous system,
repair, the power of sleep, anddeep rest, and why sometimes
doing absolutely nothing is thebest medicine.
Jess (00:39):
Yes, that is so true.
So often as women, we areexpected to do it all, career,
families, social life,self-improvement, but without
rest.
Our nervous system never getsthe chance to rest, and that can
lead to burnout, anxiety, andeven chronic health issues.
Randi (00:56):
Exactly.
So today we're going to break itall down.
What rest actually means.
The types of rest that help thenervous system recover, how a
lack of rest impacts women'smental health, and of course
strategies to incorporate morerest into your life.
So find
Jess (01:12):
us in more information at women's mental health
podcast.com.
Have you ever had thesethoughts?
Randi (01:18):
What is nervous system repair and why is it important
for women's mental health?
How does rest actually helpreset the nervous system?
What are common signs that yournervous system is overstressed?
Jess (01:31):
Why do women struggle more with rest than men?
'cause we do more.
Randi (01:36):
What are the best types of rest for nervous system
healing?
How does poor sleep impactwomen's mental health?
What's the fastest way to calmon overstimulated nervous
system?
Jess (01:47):
How can busy women incorporate more rest
Randi (01:50):
into their life?
How long?
Does it actually take to repairan overstimulated nervous
system?
That's actually a really goodsystem.
Question.
Yeah.
That's so huge.
Jess (02:00):
Why is rest a radical act of self-care for women?
It shouldn't
Randi (02:05):
be radical, but it needs to be because we're, we're
ignoring it.
Exactly.
Let's start with the basics.
When we talk about rest, we'renot just talking about sleep.
Yes, sleep is crucial, but restis an activity or lack of an
activity that allows the nervoussystem to recover and reset.
(02:25):
This includes deep sleep, quiettime, meditation, gentle
movement, and even something assimple as daydreaming or staring
out the window.
Jess (02:34):
I love to stare out the window.
Randi (02:36):
Yeah, like zone out.
There's nothing wrong with that.
No.
There's nothing wrong withdaydreaming either.
Like some of my best.
Business ideas and things comedaydreaming.
And Dale.
Yeah.
Jess (02:46):
There's actually, we have all these people that walk their
dogs and I'm always watchingthem.
Mm-hmm.
And I feel like I've got thisfamily that I've seen grow up
over the last five years.
It's so funny, but you don't,funny.
Don't really know them, but Idon't know them at all.
But I've seen her pregnant, I'veseen her with the baby, I've
seen her with now her toddlerand her dog.
And I'm always.
I finally said something one dayI am like, I know I sound
(03:06):
creepy, but like I work rightthere and there's my window.
I said, I feel like, know I'veseen you grow up.
He's, gotten so big.
So the reason we're Talkingabout rest is that Randy and I
intentionally took a rest, thelast what, four or five weeks?
Mm-hmm.
We just said, it is time for usto rest and really just
Randi (03:26):
reset.
Ourselves Reset.
Yes.
Yeah.
Take a step back, likereevaluate everything.
And come back refreshed.
And it's so important because welive in a cultural that
glorifies the hustle.
Oh, busy.
That glorify being busy, busy,busy.
Which is actually, a glorifiedtrauma response.
Yes.
Our.
Nervous system has two mainbranches, sympathetic, which is
(03:49):
our fight or flight mode, andparasympathetic, which is our
rest and digest mode.
If we are constantly in fight orflight mode, our body never
stops.
It never gets a chance.
To heal, repair, or regulateyour emotions,
Jess (04:04):
and that's huge right there.
You're running on
Randi (04:06):
empty, you're running your body and your mind
Jess (04:08):
down, especially if you're ru, you're regulating emotions.
That is such a huge thingbecause if we can't regulate our
emotions, oh my God, everythingis going to go to shit,
Randi (04:18):
right?
So let's talk about the thingsthat are gonna go to shit.
So this can really worsenconditions if you already have
them or create.
New conditions like this.
Jess (04:29):
Exactly.
'cause if we live in a constantstate of stress, which is that
fight or flight, it's going tomake things worse.
So Randy, what are some of thethings that's gonna make worse?
Randi (04:38):
Anxiety disorders, depression.
PTSD, any type of trauma relateddisorders.
A DHD.
Chronic fatigue syndrome,insomnia and sleep disorders,
burnout, burnout, burnout,emotional exhaustion, autoimmune
conditions.
When you are not rested or yourbody is constantly stressed, it
(05:00):
increases inflammation in yourbody.
Jess (05:02):
And the other thing too is if you have post-concussion
syndrome.
Randi (05:06):
Mm, that's interesting.
If
Jess (05:07):
you have a concussion, you have to rest.
Your body will not heal and yourmind will not heal unless you
rest.
And this is what I
Randi (05:17):
mean.
It's huge.
That's huge.
And also what's so important toofor women is hormonal
fluctuations.
That makes it even harder to getrest.
Yeah.
When we're cycling or on ourperiod or ovulating.
And if you have a condition likePMDD, premenstrual dysphoric
disorder or postpartumdepression, or peri-menopausal
(05:38):
related issues, I.
This is all gonna impact howwell we are resting and
recovering our body.
Jess (05:45):
'cause just those three alone that you named, we are not
resting.
No.
When you're perimenopausal, youcan't sleep at night.
No.
You have really bad insomnia,right?
Yeah.
When you have postpartum, youare not sleeping anyway'cause
nobody else is sleeping in thehouse.
And if you have PMDD, well youknow you're probably not
sleeping there either'causeyou're raging through the house.
Randi (06:04):
So lack of rust just doesn't make us feel tired.
It actually alters our brainfunction.
Research shows that sleepdeprivation affects our
prefrontal cortex, which isresponsible for our decision
making, our emotionalregulation, and our impulse
control.
So if you're wondering why youhave no impulse control, you're
(06:25):
crying over everything, oryou're angry over everything, or
you're making horribledecisions.
Well, you're probably notsleeping very well.
Yeah, and when we're not rested,we're more likely to, to feel
overwhelmed, irritable, andstruggle with focusing and
concentration.
Jess (06:41):
So for women, this often translates into feelings of
guilt.
We feel like we are failing ifwe're not productive all the
time.
I don't know how many women say,I have to get this done before I
can sit down.
And you're like, wait, wait,wait.
You have to get your entire listdone before you can rest.
'cause then you can actuallyrest.
That makes no sense, right?
(07:01):
Why aren't
Randi (07:01):
we resting so that we're.
Fuel to do those things.
Tackle'em.
Exactly.
Jess (07:05):
cause rest isn't a luxury.
It really is a necessity.
Yeah.
Randi (07:09):
Why have we made it though?
That it's a luxury?
Like it's something that we Oh,I don't
Jess (07:12):
think we made it that way.
Well, no, no.
Media.
I think society and society.
A men, media and media Yeah.
Makes it
Randi (07:18):
that it's a luxury
Jess (07:19):
because without Rest.
Our butt.
Butt buddy.
Our butt, our bo,
Randi (07:23):
our our Touch the butt.
I'm gonna touch the butt.
Jess (07:29):
Okay.
Okay.
Our body is.
Stuck in survival mode, whichincreases cortisol levels and
let's
Randi (07:36):
talk about that.
That makes weight gain.
Yes.
Belly weight.
Yes.
Wide around your weight.
Belly.
Belly weight, the belly that youcan't get rid of.
Stress.
Jess (07:44):
Stress, yeah.
And that leads to more anxiety,more mood swings, and even
physical symptoms like headachesand digestive issues.
Yeah.
You think you, IBIS, you'relike, oh,
Randi (07:53):
I'm gonna ship my pants.
Oh no, it's, no, no, I just needto rest.
So I don't do that.
Yeah.
And also studies are showingthat women are more prone to
insomnia and anxiety disordersthan men because our brains tend
to ruminate more, which is likecycle on thoughts over and over
again, which is why rest isn'tjust about physical recovery,
(08:15):
but it's also about our mentalrecovery too.
We need to mentally.
Reset.
We need to pause.
We need to give ourselves timesto breathe.
Jess (08:24):
Exactly.
And we're also not sleeping'cause we're sleeping with these
old men.
Oh, that sounds really awful.
Who are snoring?
They're sitting there andthey're totally snoring away.
Just over here getting herself a
Randi (08:34):
zaidie.
She's like z.
I don't even know what Azai is.
No, she was laughing.
Laughing.
Yeah.
Okay.
Urban Dictionary, that stuff.
Anyways,
Jess (08:43):
no, I'm afraid of that.
Somebody sent me the bluewaffles once that I did it, and
I could never unsee that pictureagain.
Oh no.
I don't know what that is, butyeah, don't even do it.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
Okay.
So how can we actuallyincorporate more rest into our
Randi (08:56):
lives, Randy?
Number one, let's start withsleep.
We need to prioritize aconsistent sleep schedule, so
reducing screen time before bed,creating a calm nighttime
routine, and also your, what dothey call it, your sleep
hygiene.
So like your room, like nothaving a lot of like electronics
(09:16):
or lights or things in your roomso that it's a comfortable, it's
like a good temperature.
Jess (09:20):
I heard somebody today call it lamp time.
Hmm.
Randi (09:23):
Never heard that before.
Jess (09:24):
I call it buttoning up the house.
Well, my husband does buttoningup the house, but she said, oh,
I heard it called lamp time,where you go through and you're
turning on the lamps and you'reshutting down the blinds.
Mm-hmm.
And you're making it look morelike nighttime.
Yeah.
Because sometimes in the summerit's still 11 o'clock and bright
out.
So they called it lamp time.
I was like, that's
Randi (09:41):
really cute.
I like that.
And then another important thingbesides just sleep is really
getting.
Deep rest.
So what does that look like?
Jess (09:51):
That is non sleep, rest, and that is different.
Those are things like practicingyoga, doing breath work,
mindfulness, meditation, or evenjust laying down for a few
minutes in a quiet space canreally help reset your nervous
system.
That's I'll be like, I'm justgonna go close my eyes for a few
minutes.
Mm-hmm.
I don't think I'm actuallysleeping, but I'm in that state
(10:14):
between awake and sleep and I'mjust being exactly where I'm at.
Randi (10:18):
Well, like one of my favorite like yoga poses is like
the, at the end, like the deadman pose.
Yes.
Where you're just like layingthere just kind of like
communing, like with yourselfand like in a calm space and
you're just giving yourself thattime and.
You're giving yourself, I feelpermission to do nothing, and
that is such a powerful tool.
It's okay to sit in silence.
(10:40):
It's okay to let your mindwander.
It's okay to take a breakwithout feeling guilty.
Jess (10:46):
It is.
And if you have a house that isloud, it is okay to also put on
some white noise and just, Ihave
Randi (10:52):
noise canceling headphones that I have to put
on.
I'm like, if my kids know oh,okay, we need to.
Back off because mom's about,she needs some downtime.
Jess (11:02):
Wait, and the other thing is, as you guys always know,
boundaries, boundaries andboundaries, they're so
important.
They're so key.
Saying no to things that drainyour energy to people that drain
your energy.
Mm-hmm.
Creating tech free zones andmaking rest a non-negotiable
part of your schedule.
It really helps maintain mentalwellbeing.
Randi (11:23):
We need to remember.
Rest isn't lazy, rest isn'tselfish.
It is necessary.
Rest is necessary for mentalclarity, for emotional
resiliency, and for your longterm health.
Jess (11:38):
Exactly.
And I don't want you to thinkthat you're letting people down
because you're not, in order forus to take, you're
Randi (11:44):
caring for yourself.
Jess (11:45):
Yes.
I can't care for other people ifI don't take care of myself.
Mm-hmm.
And we are trained that astherapists.
And that is what causes some ofthe burnout that we've been
talking about is if you don'ttake care of yourself, right?
But this is also what happens ifyou don't rest to your
Randi (12:02):
nervous system.
So let's answer or have you everthoughts just, we talked about
this more in our previouspodcast, but we'll go over it a
little bit.
What is nervous system repairand why is it so important for
us as women?
So the nervous system
Jess (12:16):
repair, it really helps our body and mind recover from
stress and anxiety and burnout.
Women, especially those jugglingcareers and caregiving and
relationships.
And when I say careers, I evenmean stay at home moms because
that is so much harder.
That's,
Randi (12:32):
that's work.
That is
Jess (12:33):
so that is a career right there.
And what that is, is, we oftenexperience chronic nervous
system overload, which can leadto.
All of the things like sleepissues and depression and
anxiety and just feeling justlike you're just vibing all the
time.
Mm-hmm.
So when we can, prior, prior,ah, when we can prioritize rest,
(12:55):
it's going to help regulate ourstress hormones, which is going
to improve our mood and boostour emotional resilience.
So Randy, how does rest reset
Randi (13:06):
the nervous system?
So rest actually activates yourparasympathetic nervous system,
which is your body's naturalcalm mode.
This low lowers your cortisol,which is your stress hormone.
Reduces inflammation andimproves your mental clarity.
Whether you are getting deepsleep, you're meditating, or
(13:26):
you're simply doing nothing androtting, rotting, intentional
rest is key to repair yournervous system.
Jess (13:34):
So when I was pregnant, I would be laying on the couch and
my husband would walk in andlook at me all big and pregnant.
And I'm like, excuse me, I'mgrowing a lung.
What are you doing?
Yeah.
So instead of saying I'm restingor I'm taking time, I'm gonna
start selling people.
I am lowering my cortisol levelsright now, so I need some me
time.
I'm resetting
Randi (13:53):
my nervous system.
Exactly.
Back off.
Yeah.
I am resetting my nervoussystem.
Jess (13:57):
This is really important.
Randi (13:59):
So what are common signs that our nervous system is
overstressed and overwhelmed.
Jess (14:06):
Women's nervous systems can become stuck in overdrive.
I know mine gets stuck there.
I know yours gets stuck there.
Mm-hmm.
And it leads to symptoms thatare trouble sleeping or waking
up exhausted when you're like,gosh.
You're like, what?
I slept, why am I still tired?
Exactly.
It's like our high schoolers,why am I so tired?
I slept.
You're like, Ugh.
'cause you're stressed.
(14:27):
'cause of finals.
Mm-hmm.
Constantly feeling overwhelmedor.
Irritable.
Yeah.
Or having anxiety that chronicfatigue or that brain fog, fog,
brain fog is when you're like,what is the name of that stuff?
You stick on that sticky stufflike tape.
Yeah.
Randi (14:40):
I often wonder too, if.
Having your nervous system likethis and such high overdrive all
the time will eventually lead tomemory issues when we're older
down the road too, because wesee more and more people, having
Alzheimer's and things likethat.
So I'm interested to see thelong term effects of it
Jess (15:00):
and think about it on our
Randi (15:00):
mind'cause we're not resting our minds.
Jess (15:03):
Well, and think about it.
So many women now are goingthrough perimenopause, what,
almost 10 years earlier.
Yes.
Than our grandparents.
Yeah.
Maybe.
Well, grandmothers, but maybe weare going to perimenopause early
because we're constantly stuckin this Stress.
Stress and our nervous system.
It's changing our hormones too,and it's change.
Oh, that's an, that would be aninteresting study.
(15:24):
The other thing is digestiveissues like bloating, nausea, GI
stuff.
Yeah, like
Randi (15:30):
acid reflux.
Things like that.
Right?
Bubble, gut, all those things.
Jess (15:34):
And then just feeling wired, but tired at night.
You
Randi (15:37):
just can't come down Exactly.
To sleep.
Exactly.
So if you are relating to this,your nervous system might be
overstimulated and need a truereset.
Now, why do we think womenstruggle more?
With this than men.
Jess (15:52):
We know they do.
Besides, they're snoring,besides the fact that they can
snore away, they can sleep
Randi (15:57):
through anything, they
Jess (15:57):
can sleep through anything.
There are studies that showwomen are more prone to
insomnia, anxiety disorders dueto the higher mental load that
we have, which is managing workand family and the emotional
labor keeping, yeah, that kinkeeping are fluctuating
hormones.
PMS, postpartum, perimenopause.
Ovulation, all of that.
(16:18):
And then these, this pressurethat we put on ourselves and
that we allow society to put onus.
Yeah.
About doing it
Randi (16:25):
all.
Yeah.
That we have to be everything toeverybody and we're not meeting
certain standards.
Jess (16:31):
Exactly.
And then because we're notmeeting it, we try to be perfect
because we can't even prioritizewhat to do, so we're gonna do
all of it.
Perfect.
Mm-hmm.
So again, rest is not a luxury,it's a necessity for mental
clarity, emotional wellbeing,and long-term health.
So Randy, what are the besttypes of rest for nervous
Randi (16:48):
system healing?
Okay, and again, restencompasses many things.
When we're talking about ithere, it's not just sleep.
We as women need physical rest,which is deep sleep.
Napping, stretching.
I love naps.
Yeah.
Rem sleep.
We need mental rest, which ismeditation, journaling,
daydreaming.
I thought you were gonna
Jess (17:09):
say day drinking.
Randi (17:10):
Whatever.
No, no, no, no.
Don't do that.
That's not, that is not good foryour nervous system.
Sensory rust, which is.
Quiet time, like downtime,nature walks.
Jess (17:19):
Oh, walking in the grass Like we to do.
Yeah.
Uhhuh barefoot in the grass andjust resetting.
Yeah.
Randi (17:24):
And that resets your, not only your mind, but your body
too, and emotional rest.
So deep conversations, time withfriends and family therapy.
So when you can find a balancebetween active and passive rest.
That is an important key tohelping your nervous system
repair over the long term.
Jess, how can poor sleep impactour mental health?
Jess (17:48):
Ooh, lack of quality.
Sleep can increase again,anxiety and depression and brain
fog.
And most of us who are goingthrough concentration at work
and stuff, right?
Yeah.
And if you're already goingthrough perimenopause, that
brain fog is real.
It's bad.
It's really bad.
Yes.
Sleep is when you're nervous.
System detoxes repairs yourneurons and regulate stress
(18:11):
hormones.
Prioritizing sleep hygiene, likea consistent bedtime routine.
No screens before bed.
And a cool dark room can make ahuge difference.
And if you have somebodysnoring, this is why so many
people, they've got separatebedrooms.
Mm-hmm.
They're like, if you ain't gonnawear A-C-P-A-P.
Cool buddy.
You can go sleep in a differentroom.
(18:32):
Or I'm gonna go sleep in adifferent room.
Doesn't mean I don't love you.
It just means I need toprioritize my sleep because you
are killing me.
Yeah, my health, my
Randi (18:39):
wellbeing and
Jess (18:39):
everything.
Exactly.
So Randy, what is the fastestway to calm an overstimulated
nervous system?
'cause this is huge right here.
Randi (18:47):
So if you're feeling overwhelmed or burnt out.
These are some quick nervoussystem resets.
Deep breathing.
You can try the 4, 7, 8technique yoga or doing a guided
relaxation through it.
Spending five minutes in nature.
Yes.
Just go outside.
Jess (19:05):
Especially if it's cold.
Go outside and take a deepbreath.
It sounds so weird, but likewhen I'm anxious I will go
outside and break up boxes ifit's cold outside.
Mm-hmm.
Because what that does, it justkind of like takes my body and
goes, oh, let's get out ofwhatever we were just doing.
Yeah, just get like shock up and
Randi (19:21):
move.
Yeah.
Listen to some calming music.
Lie down in silence for, 10minutes.
Or also something too that cansometimes help too is maybe like
eating like a sour candy orsomething like sucking on it.
Yes.
It, it's the, sweetened kind ofsourness of it that kind of can
snap you out of like you'rehaving, like an anxiety attack
and you need to reset.
(19:42):
These practices signal safety toyour brain, helping your nervous
system shift from stress tocalm.
Jess (19:48):
This is also the bubbles go blow bubbles, This is getting
yourself to breathe, gettingyourself to relax, getting
yourself to just remember thatwe are not meant and we are not
built to be in this fight orflight.
All the time.
This is, we are, this isn't okayanymore.
This is not okay.
So just
Randi (20:07):
how can busy women incorporate more rest into their
lives?
Jess (20:11):
Oh my gosh, I have so many snarky responses right now that
I'm just not gonna do it.
Let's not, let's, let's, let's.
So even if you can't take a longbreak,'cause that's what I hear
all the time is I don't havetime.
I don't have time.
It doesn't have to be the bigbougie, it's the microdosing of
things we've talked about thatbefore.
Is schedule a 10 minute restblock in your day.
If you're at work.
Go take a 10 minute walk aroundthe building just to get out of
(20:34):
whatever that vibe is.
Mm-hmm.
Learn to say no to overcommitments and do it without
guilt.
It's okay to say no, thatdoesn't work for me.
No, thank you.
Appreciate you thinking of me,but I'm going to pass.
Taking mindful moments, that isthings like slowly slipping your
tea.
Deep breaths before meetings.
(20:55):
Taken the long way park fartheraway so you can do a further
walk.
These small moments ofintentional rest can have a huge
impact on your nervous system.
Randy, how long does it take torepair an overstimulated nervous
system?
'cause that's huge.
I wanna
Randi (21:09):
know how long.
Well, the nervous system doesnot heal overnight, but
consistent rest can make adifference within a few weeks to
months.
The key is to reduce your dailystress, improve your quality
sleep, and build up theserestorative practices into your
life and daily routine.
(21:30):
So that you can continue toheal.
And even if you have a setback,just keep trying to move forward
with this because it's betterthan doing nothing and living in
that constant fight or flightmode.
Jess (21:42):
Exactly.
And we don't need you to wake uptomorrow and go, okay, tomorrow
I'm gonna be perfect and do allof this right.
Add in one thing, one smallthing, one thing.
Yeah.
And when you get that going andyou're like, cool, I can do
another.
Small thing, right?
If it's stretching, if it,whatever it is, if you're in the
elevator and you start tostretch, go for it.
Whatever makes you feel better.
So Why is REST a radical act ofself-care for women?
(22:05):
Because the
Randi (22:06):
world glorifies busyness, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy,
and rest is a resistance.
So let's start a rest.
Resistance.
We need to prioritize restbecause it's an act of
self-care.
It's an act of self-worth and ofself-preservation.
Women deserve to rest.
(22:27):
Without guilt, without shame,without justification, and
without apology.
Jess (22:32):
We should do like a, like instead of a sit-in, we're gonna
protest a rest in, we're gonnahave a rest in.
Everybody just needs to lay anddo nothing.
I always have said
Randi (22:40):
that because we've done like yoga seminars and stuff
before and I'm like, we shouldjust do one where we just lay
there and nap because we'regiving ourselves just the time
to do it and we don't.
Do it like enough.
Jess (22:53):
We don't.
In fact, a couple weeks ago Igot with Randy'cause I was like,
let's record.
And then I was like, you knowwhat?
I'm tired.
And she's like, me too.
And I think we just hung out andwe just chatted and just enjoyed
the moment.
And it was okay'cause we werestill doing our rest.
We were
Randi (23:09):
still recovering and recouping.
Yeah.
We were spending time in likedeep conversation.
We needed time to connect witheach other and fix our nervous
system.
Yeah, exactly.
So if there's one takeaway fromtoday's episode, it's that rest
is not something that is lazy.
It is essential for your mentalhealth, for your emotional
regulation and your overallbeing wellbeing.
(23:32):
It is essential to your success,to your family, to your
relationship.
Bingo, everything.
It is the key to everything.
It is the foundation of ourlives.
And we have to take that more,
Jess (23:44):
more importantly, more.
We have to put our, we have to
Randi (23:48):
take it more seriously.
Thank
Jess (23:50):
you.
That's the word I'm looking for.
And stop
Randi (23:52):
putting ourselves on the back burner.
Jess (23:54):
Always.
We always put ourselves last.
It's like when my daughter walksout on a Wednesday morning and
she's like, can you dry my hair?
I'm like, I could dry your hair,or I could take a shower.
Yeah, I've started saying, I'mno longer gonna dry your hair
Wednesday mornings.
I need to go take a shower.
Yeah.
Because I kept putting myselfback and then I was like, oh, I
really needed a shower.
Well, that was
Randi (24:11):
like what was it like a year and a half ago?
I kept having this sharp pain,like in my chest and thinking
it's just like heartburn.
It's just heartburn.
Like for six months, I'm like,Ugh.
And then I was like.
Something's really wrong.
And I was like, I think I shouldgo get this checked out.
And then they're like, you needto have your gallbladder amount
out immediately.
We need to have emergencysurgery.
(24:31):
And it's like blocking all sortsof things.
And I had put off this pain forsix months thinking like I was
being ridiculous.
And
Jess (24:37):
if you've ever had gallbladder pain, I was like,
how the hell did you not knowyou were having that pain?
Yeah, I had it and I thought Iwas going to keel over and die.
I have
Randi (24:46):
a, and that's the thing about women though, is that we
have a high pain tolerance too.
Yeah.
Jess (24:50):
I think, think we learn to ignore things.
Yes.
I was like, we learned tominimize going, no, no, this is
much more important.
We make ourselves, I don't havesmaller and minimize
Randi (24:58):
our issues and our problems and our pain,
Jess (24:59):
If you're feeling burnt out, anxious or emotionally
exhausted, or you are minimizingthe pain in your life or in what
is going on with you, mm-hmm.
It might not be because you'renot doing enough.
It might be because you aredoing too much and not resting
enough.
There is something aboutrotting.
That is so healthy for us,
Randi (25:21):
right?
So thank you for joining ustoday.
If this episode resonated withyou, make sure to subscribe,
share, and leave us a review.
And as always, take care ofyourself and we'll see you next
time on the Women's MentalHealth Podcast.
Bye.
Welcome back to the women's mental health podcast.
I'm randy.
I'm And I'm Jess.
And we are two licensedpsychotherapists, and this is a
safe space where we talk aboutmental health, well being, and
strategies for coping withlife's challenges.
And how all of this is normal,and you are not alone.
Today we're diving into a topicthat is essential for your
mental health and ours, yet sooften overlooked.
(00:27):
Rest.
We're talking about the role ofrest in your nervous system,
repair, the power of sleep, anddeep rest, and why sometimes
doing absolutely nothing is thebest medicine.
Jess (00:39):
Yes, that is so true.
So often as women, we areexpected to do it all, career,
families, social life,self-improvement, but without
rest.
Our nervous system never getsthe chance to rest, and that can
lead to burnout, anxiety, andeven chronic health issues.
Randi (00:56):
Exactly.
So today we're going to break itall down.
What rest actually means.
The types of rest that help thenervous system recover, how a
lack of rest impacts women'smental health, and of course
strategies to incorporate morerest into your life.
So find
Jess (01:12):
us in more information at women's mental health
podcast.com.
Have you ever had thesethoughts?
Randi (01:18):
What is nervous system repair and why is it important
for women's mental health?
How does rest actually helpreset the nervous system?
What are common signs that yournervous system is overstressed?
Jess (01:31):
Why do women struggle more with rest than men?
'cause we do more.
Randi (01:36):
What are the best types of rest for nervous system
healing?
How does poor sleep impactwomen's mental health?
What's the fastest way to calmon overstimulated nervous
system?
Jess (01:47):
How can busy women incorporate more rest
Randi (01:50):
into their life?
How long?
Does it actually take to repairan overstimulated nervous
system?
That's actually a really goodsystem.
Question.
Yeah.
That's so huge.
Jess (02:00):
Why is rest a radical act of self-care for women?
It shouldn't
Randi (02:05):
be radical, but it needs to be because we're, we're
ignoring it.
Exactly.
Let's start with the basics.
When we talk about rest, we'renot just talking about sleep.
Yes, sleep is crucial, but restis an activity or lack of an
activity that allows the nervoussystem to recover and reset.
(02:25):
This includes deep sleep, quiettime, meditation, gentle
movement, and even something assimple as daydreaming or staring
out the window.
Jess (02:34):
I love to stare out the window.
Randi (02:36):
Yeah, like zone out.
There's nothing wrong with that.
No.
There's nothing wrong withdaydreaming either.
Like some of my best.
Business ideas and things comedaydreaming.
And Dale.
Yeah.
Jess (02:46):
There's actually, we have all these people that walk their
dogs and I'm always watchingthem.
Mm-hmm.
And I feel like I've got thisfamily that I've seen grow up
over the last five years.
It's so funny, but you don't,funny.
Don't really know them, but Idon't know them at all.
But I've seen her pregnant, I'veseen her with the baby, I've
seen her with now her toddlerand her dog.
And I'm always.
I finally said something one dayI am like, I know I sound
(03:06):
creepy, but like I work rightthere and there's my window.
I said, I feel like, know I'veseen you grow up.
He's, gotten so big.
So the reason we're Talkingabout rest is that Randy and I
intentionally took a rest, thelast what, four or five weeks?
Mm-hmm.
We just said, it is time for usto rest and really just
Randi (03:26):
reset.
Ourselves Reset.
Yes.
Yeah.
Take a step back, likereevaluate everything.
And come back refreshed.
And it's so important because welive in a cultural that
glorifies the hustle.
Oh, busy.
That glorify being busy, busy,busy.
Which is actually, a glorifiedtrauma response.
Yes.
Our.
Nervous system has two mainbranches, sympathetic, which is
(03:49):
our fight or flight mode, andparasympathetic, which is our
rest and digest mode.
If we are constantly in fight orflight mode, our body never
stops.
It never gets a chance.
To heal, repair, or regulateyour emotions,
Jess (04:04):
and that's huge right there.
You're running on
Randi (04:06):
empty, you're running your body and your mind
Jess (04:08):
down, especially if you're ru, you're regulating emotions.
That is such a huge thingbecause if we can't regulate our
emotions, oh my God, everythingis going to go to shit,
Randi (04:18):
right?
So let's talk about the thingsthat are gonna go to shit.
So this can really worsenconditions if you already have
them or create.
New conditions like this.
Jess (04:29):
Exactly.
'cause if we live in a constantstate of stress, which is that
fight or flight, it's going tomake things worse.
So Randy, what are some of thethings that's gonna make worse?
Randi (04:38):
Anxiety disorders, depression.
PTSD, any type of trauma relateddisorders.
A DHD.
Chronic fatigue syndrome,insomnia and sleep disorders,
burnout, burnout, burnout,emotional exhaustion, autoimmune
conditions.
When you are not rested or yourbody is constantly stressed, it
(05:00):
increases inflammation in yourbody.
Jess (05:02):
And the other thing too is if you have post-concussion
syndrome.
Randi (05:06):
Mm, that's interesting.
If
Jess (05:07):
you have a concussion, you have to rest.
Your body will not heal and yourmind will not heal unless you
rest.
And this is what I
Randi (05:17):
mean.
It's huge.
That's huge.
And also what's so important toofor women is hormonal
fluctuations.
That makes it even harder to getrest.
Yeah.
When we're cycling or on ourperiod or ovulating.
And if you have a condition likePMDD, premenstrual dysphoric
disorder or postpartumdepression, or peri-menopausal
(05:38):
related issues, I.
This is all gonna impact howwell we are resting and
recovering our body.
Jess (05:45):
'cause just those three alone that you named, we are not
resting.
No.
When you're perimenopausal, youcan't sleep at night.
No.
You have really bad insomnia,right?
Yeah.
When you have postpartum, youare not sleeping anyway'cause
nobody else is sleeping in thehouse.
And if you have PMDD, well youknow you're probably not
sleeping there either'causeyou're raging through the house.
Randi (06:04):
So lack of rust just doesn't make us feel tired.
It actually alters our brainfunction.
Research shows that sleepdeprivation affects our
prefrontal cortex, which isresponsible for our decision
making, our emotionalregulation, and our impulse
control.
So if you're wondering why youhave no impulse control, you're
(06:25):
crying over everything, oryou're angry over everything, or
you're making horribledecisions.
Well, you're probably notsleeping very well.
Yeah, and when we're not rested,we're more likely to, to feel
overwhelmed, irritable, andstruggle with focusing and
concentration.
Jess (06:41):
So for women, this often translates into feelings of
guilt.
We feel like we are failing ifwe're not productive all the
time.
I don't know how many women say,I have to get this done before I
can sit down.
And you're like, wait, wait,wait.
You have to get your entire listdone before you can rest.
'cause then you can actuallyrest.
That makes no sense, right?
(07:01):
Why aren't
Randi (07:01):
we resting so that we're.
Fuel to do those things.
Tackle'em.
Exactly.
Jess (07:05):
cause rest isn't a luxury.
It really is a necessity.
Yeah.
Randi (07:09):
Why have we made it though?
That it's a luxury?
Like it's something that we Oh,I don't
Jess (07:12):
think we made it that way.
Well, no, no.
Media.
I think society and society.
A men, media and media Yeah.
Makes it
Randi (07:18):
that it's a luxury
Jess (07:19):
because without Rest.
Our butt.
Butt buddy.
Our butt, our bo,
Randi (07:23):
our our Touch the butt.
I'm gonna touch the butt.
Jess (07:29):
Okay.
Okay.
Our body is.
Stuck in survival mode, whichincreases cortisol levels and
let's
Randi (07:36):
talk about that.
That makes weight gain.
Yes.
Belly weight.
Yes.
Wide around your weight.
Belly.
Belly weight, the belly that youcan't get rid of.
Stress.
Jess (07:44):
Stress, yeah.
And that leads to more anxiety,more mood swings, and even
physical symptoms like headachesand digestive issues.
Yeah.
You think you, IBIS, you'relike, oh,
Randi (07:53):
I'm gonna ship my pants.
Oh no, it's, no, no, I just needto rest.
So I don't do that.
Yeah.
And also studies are showingthat women are more prone to
insomnia and anxiety disordersthan men because our brains tend
to ruminate more, which is likecycle on thoughts over and over
again, which is why rest isn'tjust about physical recovery,
(08:15):
but it's also about our mentalrecovery too.
We need to mentally.
Reset.
We need to pause.
We need to give ourselves timesto breathe.
Jess (08:24):
Exactly.
And we're also not sleeping'cause we're sleeping with these
old men.
Oh, that sounds really awful.
Who are snoring?
They're sitting there andthey're totally snoring away.
Just over here getting herself a
Randi (08:34):
zaidie.
She's like z.
I don't even know what Azai is.
No, she was laughing.
Laughing.
Yeah.
Okay.
Urban Dictionary, that stuff.
Anyways,
Jess (08:43):
no, I'm afraid of that.
Somebody sent me the bluewaffles once that I did it, and
I could never unsee that pictureagain.
Oh no.
I don't know what that is, butyeah, don't even do it.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
Okay.
So how can we actuallyincorporate more rest into our
Randi (08:56):
lives, Randy?
Number one, let's start withsleep.
We need to prioritize aconsistent sleep schedule, so
reducing screen time before bed,creating a calm nighttime
routine, and also your, what dothey call it, your sleep
hygiene.
So like your room, like nothaving a lot of like electronics
(09:16):
or lights or things in your roomso that it's a comfortable, it's
like a good temperature.
Jess (09:20):
I heard somebody today call it lamp time.
Hmm.
Randi (09:23):
Never heard that before.
Jess (09:24):
I call it buttoning up the house.
Well, my husband does buttoningup the house, but she said, oh,
I heard it called lamp time,where you go through and you're
turning on the lamps and you'reshutting down the blinds.
Mm-hmm.
And you're making it look morelike nighttime.
Yeah.
Because sometimes in the summerit's still 11 o'clock and bright
out.
So they called it lamp time.
I was like, that's
Randi (09:41):
really cute.
I like that.
And then another important thingbesides just sleep is really
getting.
Deep rest.
So what does that look like?
Jess (09:51):
That is non sleep, rest, and that is different.
Those are things like practicingyoga, doing breath work,
mindfulness, meditation, or evenjust laying down for a few
minutes in a quiet space canreally help reset your nervous
system.
That's I'll be like, I'm justgonna go close my eyes for a few
minutes.
Mm-hmm.
I don't think I'm actuallysleeping, but I'm in that state
(10:14):
between awake and sleep and I'mjust being exactly where I'm at.
Randi (10:18):
Well, like one of my favorite like yoga poses is like
the, at the end, like the deadman pose.
Yes.
Where you're just like layingthere just kind of like
communing, like with yourselfand like in a calm space and
you're just giving yourself thattime and.
You're giving yourself, I feelpermission to do nothing, and
that is such a powerful tool.
It's okay to sit in silence.
(10:40):
It's okay to let your mindwander.
It's okay to take a breakwithout feeling guilty.
Jess (10:46):
It is.
And if you have a house that isloud, it is okay to also put on
some white noise and just, Ihave
Randi (10:52):
noise canceling headphones that I have to put
on.
I'm like, if my kids know oh,okay, we need to.
Back off because mom's about,she needs some downtime.
Jess (11:02):
Wait, and the other thing is, as you guys always know,
boundaries, boundaries andboundaries, they're so
important.
They're so key.
Saying no to things that drainyour energy to people that drain
your energy.
Mm-hmm.
Creating tech free zones andmaking rest a non-negotiable
part of your schedule.
It really helps maintain mentalwellbeing.
Randi (11:23):
We need to remember.
Rest isn't lazy, rest isn'tselfish.
It is necessary.
Rest is necessary for mentalclarity, for emotional
resiliency, and for your longterm health.
Jess (11:38):
Exactly.
And I don't want you to thinkthat you're letting people down
because you're not, in order forus to take, you're
Randi (11:44):
caring for yourself.
Jess (11:45):
Yes.
I can't care for other people ifI don't take care of myself.
Mm-hmm.
And we are trained that astherapists.
And that is what causes some ofthe burnout that we've been
talking about is if you don'ttake care of yourself, right?
But this is also what happens ifyou don't rest to your
Randi (12:02):
nervous system.
So let's answer or have you everthoughts just, we talked about
this more in our previouspodcast, but we'll go over it a
little bit.
What is nervous system repairand why is it so important for
us as women?
So the nervous system
Jess (12:16):
repair, it really helps our body and mind recover from
stress and anxiety and burnout.
Women, especially those jugglingcareers and caregiving and
relationships.
And when I say careers, I evenmean stay at home moms because
that is so much harder.
That's,
Randi (12:32):
that's work.
That is
Jess (12:33):
so that is a career right there.
And what that is, is, we oftenexperience chronic nervous
system overload, which can leadto.
All of the things like sleepissues and depression and
anxiety and just feeling justlike you're just vibing all the
time.
Mm-hmm.
So when we can, prior, prior,ah, when we can prioritize rest,
(12:55):
it's going to help regulate ourstress hormones, which is going
to improve our mood and boostour emotional resilience.
So Randy, how does rest reset
Randi (13:06):
the nervous system?
So rest actually activates yourparasympathetic nervous system,
which is your body's naturalcalm mode.
This low lowers your cortisol,which is your stress hormone.
Reduces inflammation andimproves your mental clarity.
Whether you are getting deepsleep, you're meditating, or
(13:26):
you're simply doing nothing androtting, rotting, intentional
rest is key to repair yournervous system.
Jess (13:34):
So when I was pregnant, I would be laying on the couch and
my husband would walk in andlook at me all big and pregnant.
And I'm like, excuse me, I'mgrowing a lung.
What are you doing?
Yeah.
So instead of saying I'm restingor I'm taking time, I'm gonna
start selling people.
I am lowering my cortisol levelsright now, so I need some me
time.
I'm resetting
Randi (13:53):
my nervous system.
Exactly.
Back off.
Yeah.
I am resetting my nervoussystem.
Jess (13:57):
This is really important.
Randi (13:59):
So what are common signs that our nervous system is
overstressed and overwhelmed.
Jess (14:06):
Women's nervous systems can become stuck in overdrive.
I know mine gets stuck there.
I know yours gets stuck there.
Mm-hmm.
And it leads to symptoms thatare trouble sleeping or waking
up exhausted when you're like,gosh.
You're like, what?
I slept, why am I still tired?
Exactly.
It's like our high schoolers,why am I so tired?
I slept.
You're like, Ugh.
'cause you're stressed.
(14:27):
'cause of finals.
Mm-hmm.
Constantly feeling overwhelmedor.
Irritable.
Yeah.
Or having anxiety that chronicfatigue or that brain fog, fog,
brain fog is when you're like,what is the name of that stuff?
You stick on that sticky stufflike tape.
Yeah.
Randi (14:40):
I often wonder too, if.
Having your nervous system likethis and such high overdrive all
the time will eventually lead tomemory issues when we're older
down the road too, because wesee more and more people, having
Alzheimer's and things likethat.
So I'm interested to see thelong term effects of it
Jess (15:00):
and think about it on our
Randi (15:00):
mind'cause we're not resting our minds.
Jess (15:03):
Well, and think about it.
So many women now are goingthrough perimenopause, what,
almost 10 years earlier.
Yes.
Than our grandparents.
Yeah.
Maybe.
Well, grandmothers, but maybe weare going to perimenopause early
because we're constantly stuckin this Stress.
Stress and our nervous system.
It's changing our hormones too,and it's change.
Oh, that's an, that would be aninteresting study.
(15:24):
The other thing is digestiveissues like bloating, nausea, GI
stuff.
Yeah, like
Randi (15:30):
acid reflux.
Things like that.
Right?
Bubble, gut, all those things.
Jess (15:34):
And then just feeling wired, but tired at night.
You
Randi (15:37):
just can't come down Exactly.
To sleep.
Exactly.
So if you are relating to this,your nervous system might be
overstimulated and need a truereset.
Now, why do we think womenstruggle more?
With this than men.
Jess (15:52):
We know they do.
Besides, they're snoring,besides the fact that they can
snore away, they can sleep
Randi (15:57):
through anything, they
Jess (15:57):
can sleep through anything.
There are studies that showwomen are more prone to
insomnia, anxiety disorders dueto the higher mental load that
we have, which is managing workand family and the emotional
labor keeping, yeah, that kinkeeping are fluctuating
hormones.
PMS, postpartum, perimenopause.
Ovulation, all of that.
(16:18):
And then these, this pressurethat we put on ourselves and
that we allow society to put onus.
Yeah.
About doing it
Randi (16:25):
all.
Yeah.
That we have to be everything toeverybody and we're not meeting
certain standards.
Jess (16:31):
Exactly.
And then because we're notmeeting it, we try to be perfect
because we can't even prioritizewhat to do, so we're gonna do
all of it.
Perfect.
Mm-hmm.
So again, rest is not a luxury,it's a necessity for mental
clarity, emotional wellbeing,and long-term health.
So Randy, what are the besttypes of rest for nervous
Randi (16:48):
system healing?
Okay, and again, restencompasses many things.
When we're talking about ithere, it's not just sleep.
We as women need physical rest,which is deep sleep.
Napping, stretching.
I love naps.
Yeah.
Rem sleep.
We need mental rest, which ismeditation, journaling,
daydreaming.
I thought you were gonna
Jess (17:09):
say day drinking.
Randi (17:10):
Whatever.
No, no, no, no.
Don't do that.
That's not, that is not good foryour nervous system.
Sensory rust, which is.
Quiet time, like downtime,nature walks.
Jess (17:19):
Oh, walking in the grass Like we to do.
Yeah.
Uhhuh barefoot in the grass andjust resetting.
Yeah.
Randi (17:24):
And that resets your, not only your mind, but your body
too, and emotional rest.
So deep conversations, time withfriends and family therapy.
So when you can find a balancebetween active and passive rest.
That is an important key tohelping your nervous system
repair over the long term.
Jess, how can poor sleep impactour mental health?
Jess (17:48):
Ooh, lack of quality.
Sleep can increase again,anxiety and depression and brain
fog.
And most of us who are goingthrough concentration at work
and stuff, right?
Yeah.
And if you're already goingthrough perimenopause, that
brain fog is real.
It's bad.
It's really bad.
Yes.
Sleep is when you're nervous.
System detoxes repairs yourneurons and regulate stress
(18:11):
hormones.
Prioritizing sleep hygiene, likea consistent bedtime routine.
No screens before bed.
And a cool dark room can make ahuge difference.
And if you have somebodysnoring, this is why so many
people, they've got separatebedrooms.
Mm-hmm.
They're like, if you ain't gonnawear A-C-P-A-P.
Cool buddy.
You can go sleep in a differentroom.
(18:32):
Or I'm gonna go sleep in adifferent room.
Doesn't mean I don't love you.
It just means I need toprioritize my sleep because you
are killing me.
Yeah, my health, my
Randi (18:39):
wellbeing and
Jess (18:39):
everything.
Exactly.
So Randy, what is the fastestway to calm an overstimulated
nervous system?
'cause this is huge right here.
Randi (18:47):
So if you're feeling overwhelmed or burnt out.
These are some quick nervoussystem resets.
Deep breathing.
You can try the 4, 7, 8technique yoga or doing a guided
relaxation through it.
Spending five minutes in nature.
Yes.
Just go outside.
Jess (19:05):
Especially if it's cold.
Go outside and take a deepbreath.
It sounds so weird, but likewhen I'm anxious I will go
outside and break up boxes ifit's cold outside.
Mm-hmm.
Because what that does, it justkind of like takes my body and
goes, oh, let's get out ofwhatever we were just doing.
Yeah, just get like shock up and
Randi (19:21):
move.
Yeah.
Listen to some calming music.
Lie down in silence for, 10minutes.
Or also something too that cansometimes help too is maybe like
eating like a sour candy orsomething like sucking on it.
Yes.
It, it's the, sweetened kind ofsourness of it that kind of can
snap you out of like you'rehaving, like an anxiety attack
and you need to reset.
(19:42):
These practices signal safety toyour brain, helping your nervous
system shift from stress tocalm.
Jess (19:48):
This is also the bubbles go blow bubbles, This is getting
yourself to breathe, gettingyourself to relax, getting
yourself to just remember thatwe are not meant and we are not
built to be in this fight orflight.
All the time.
This is, we are, this isn't okayanymore.
This is not okay.
So just
Randi (20:07):
how can busy women incorporate more rest into their
lives?
Jess (20:11):
Oh my gosh, I have so many snarky responses right now that
I'm just not gonna do it.
Let's not, let's, let's, let's.
So even if you can't take a longbreak,'cause that's what I hear
all the time is I don't havetime.
I don't have time.
It doesn't have to be the bigbougie, it's the microdosing of
things we've talked about thatbefore.
Is schedule a 10 minute restblock in your day.
If you're at work.
Go take a 10 minute walk aroundthe building just to get out of
(20:34):
whatever that vibe is.
Mm-hmm.
Learn to say no to overcommitments and do it without
guilt.
It's okay to say no, thatdoesn't work for me.
No, thank you.
Appreciate you thinking of me,but I'm going to pass.
Taking mindful moments, that isthings like slowly slipping your
tea.
Deep breaths before meetings.
(20:55):
Taken the long way park fartheraway so you can do a further
walk.
These small moments ofintentional rest can have a huge
impact on your nervous system.
Randy, how long does it take torepair an overstimulated nervous
system?
'cause that's huge.
I wanna
Randi (21:09):
know how long.
Well, the nervous system doesnot heal overnight, but
consistent rest can make adifference within a few weeks to
months.
The key is to reduce your dailystress, improve your quality
sleep, and build up theserestorative practices into your
life and daily routine.
(21:30):
So that you can continue toheal.
And even if you have a setback,just keep trying to move forward
with this because it's betterthan doing nothing and living in
that constant fight or flightmode.
Jess (21:42):
Exactly.
And we don't need you to wake uptomorrow and go, okay, tomorrow
I'm gonna be perfect and do allof this right.
Add in one thing, one smallthing, one thing.
Yeah.
And when you get that going andyou're like, cool, I can do
another.
Small thing, right?
If it's stretching, if it,whatever it is, if you're in the
elevator and you start tostretch, go for it.
Whatever makes you feel better.
So Why is REST a radical act ofself-care for women?
(22:05):
Because the
Randi (22:06):
world glorifies busyness, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy,
and rest is a resistance.
So let's start a rest.
Resistance.
We need to prioritize restbecause it's an act of
self-care.
It's an act of self-worth and ofself-preservation.
Women deserve to rest.
(22:27):
Without guilt, without shame,without justification, and
without apology.
Jess (22:32):
We should do like a, like instead of a sit-in, we're gonna
protest a rest in, we're gonnahave a rest in.
Everybody just needs to lay anddo nothing.
I always have said
Randi (22:40):
that because we've done like yoga seminars and stuff
before and I'm like, we shouldjust do one where we just lay
there and nap because we'regiving ourselves just the time
to do it and we don't.
Do it like enough.
Jess (22:53):
We don't.
In fact, a couple weeks ago Igot with Randy'cause I was like,
let's record.
And then I was like, you knowwhat?
I'm tired.
And she's like, me too.
And I think we just hung out andwe just chatted and just enjoyed
the moment.
And it was okay'cause we werestill doing our rest.
We were
Randi (23:09):
still recovering and recouping.
Yeah.
We were spending time in likedeep conversation.
We needed time to connect witheach other and fix our nervous
system.
Yeah, exactly.
So if there's one takeaway fromtoday's episode, it's that rest
is not something that is lazy.
It is essential for your mentalhealth, for your emotional
regulation and your overallbeing wellbeing.
(23:32):
It is essential to your success,to your family, to your
relationship.
Bingo, everything.
It is the key to everything.
It is the foundation of ourlives.
And we have to take that more,
Jess (23:44):
more importantly, more.
We have to put our, we have to
Randi (23:48):
take it more seriously.
Thank
Jess (23:50):
you.
That's the word I'm looking for.
And stop
Randi (23:52):
putting ourselves on the back burner.
Jess (23:54):
Always.
We always put ourselves last.
It's like when my daughter walksout on a Wednesday morning and
she's like, can you dry my hair?
I'm like, I could dry your hair,or I could take a shower.
Yeah, I've started saying, I'mno longer gonna dry your hair
Wednesday mornings.
I need to go take a shower.
Yeah.
Because I kept putting myselfback and then I was like, oh, I
really needed a shower.
Well, that was
Randi (24:11):
like what was it like a year and a half ago?
I kept having this sharp pain,like in my chest and thinking
it's just like heartburn.
It's just heartburn.
Like for six months, I'm like,Ugh.
And then I was like.
Something's really wrong.
And I was like, I think I shouldgo get this checked out.
And then they're like, you needto have your gallbladder amount
out immediately.
We need to have emergencysurgery.
(24:31):
And it's like blocking all sortsof things.
And I had put off this pain forsix months thinking like I was
being ridiculous.
And
Jess (24:37):
if you've ever had gallbladder pain, I was like,
how the hell did you not knowyou were having that pain?
Yeah, I had it and I thought Iwas going to keel over and die.
I have
Randi (24:46):
a, and that's the thing about women though, is that we
have a high pain tolerance too.
Yeah.
Jess (24:50):
I think, think we learn to ignore things.
Yes.
I was like, we learned tominimize going, no, no, this is
much more important.
We make ourselves, I don't havesmaller and minimize
Randi (24:58):
our issues and our problems and our pain,
Jess (24:59):
If you're feeling burnt out, anxious or emotionally
exhausted, or you are minimizingthe pain in your life or in what
is going on with you, mm-hmm.
It might not be because you'renot doing enough.
It might be because you aredoing too much and not resting
enough.
There is something aboutrotting.
That is so healthy for us,
Randi (25:21):
right?
So thank you for joining ustoday.
If this episode resonated withyou, make sure to subscribe,
share, and leave us a review.
And as always, take care ofyourself and we'll see you next
time on the Women's MentalHealth Podcast.
Bye.
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