Episode Transcript
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Randi (00:00):
Welcome back to the
women's mental health podcast.
(00:02):
I'm randy.
I'm And I'm Jess.
And we are two licensedpsychotherapists, and this is a
safe space where we talk aboutmental health, well being, and
strategies for coping withlife's challenges.
And how all of this is normal,and you are not alone.
Today's episode is all aboutsomething we can benefit from
micro self care, especially onbusy days.
(00:23):
These are quick, simple things.
We can incorporate easily intoour day to day routines to keep
our mental health in check,especially when life gets busy.
Hectic.
Jess (00:34):
And it's getting hectic
right now.
It is so hectic.
It just feels like self care canbe this big thing that we make
it.
We have to do this all huge timeconsuming.
Yeah, it needs to be on thecalendar.
Bougie.
Yeah,
Randi (00:47):
spend
Jess (00:47):
all this money.
And we just don't have it.
So we're going to share someeasy tips and different ways
that we can build these into ourlives daily.
So find us in more information.
on womensmentalhealthpodcast.
com.
Have you ever had
Randi (01:02):
these thoughts?
What exactly is micro self care?
How can I incorporate micro selfcare into my hectic workday?
Can you suggest a quick selfcare activity for a busy mom?
I'm too tired for self careafter work or after my day.
What can I do?
What are some examples ofemotional micro self care?
(01:25):
Is it possible to practice selfcare in the workplace during my
workday?
Yes, it is actually.
I've got a couple.
How can I remember to practice
Jess (01:33):
self care
Randi (01:34):
when I'm busy?
Can micro self care help with mystress?
Jess (01:39):
What if I feel guilty
taking time for
Randi (01:41):
myself?
How can I make micro self care ahabit?
I like that.
Let's make it a habit.
Let's do it.
So let's start with definingmicro self care.
So what is it, Jess?
Jess (01:54):
Micro self care is about
the small, manageable self care
practices that we can fit intoeven our busiest of days.
These aren't hour longmeditations, it's not spa days,
it's not two hour bubble bath,but they're little things that
take a minute to do.
To breathe deeply, stretching,or even savoring a cup of tea
(02:17):
without distraction.
Oh, gosh, I love some good teain the winter.
Randi (02:21):
I do.
I love hot cocoa, especiallyduring the winter.
Or an apple cider, like warmapple cider.
This is about breaking down selfcare into manageable, but bite
sized, little mini bite sizedpieces.
Jess (02:36):
I imagine those little
tiny mini Snickers.
Randi (02:38):
I was imagining little
tiny Reese's Pieces.
Oh, how funny.
Yours are even smaller.
Mine's They have the miniSkittles.
Have you seen them?
They're like little tiny littlelittle baby bite sized.
Okay.
Yeah.
For example, if you're swampedwith work and only have a
minute, you can do a quickgrounding exercise or a quick
breathing technique to helpcenter yourself.
(03:00):
And these things, while manymight not seem like a lot at
first, But like we've said withanything in life, small things
add up to big things.
And with those things, you feelmore balanced and you feel more
present.
Jess (03:14):
Oh, that's like, when
you're trying to get your steps
in, you can park a littlefurther away.
So that way, instead of gettingthat, you walk a little bit more
or you're like, let's do awalking meeting because I need
to get my steps in today versussitting.
And so it's just adding little,oops, I'm hitting things today.
It's just adding little piecesover and over.
Okay.
This Microsoft Care, it becamereally popular and it's becoming
(03:37):
really popular because most ofus are so busy and so fast paced
and full of distractions.
Do you know how many times Ihear, I hate to say this, but
COVID was really good for me.
Randi (03:49):
Yeah, because people took
time to be with themselves.
Jess (03:53):
Yes, they got to go on
walks They weren't forced to go
do all this stuff.
So I hear that so much
Randi (03:59):
Because like with
smartphones and with social
media, we're constantly likeplugged in to things and many of
us have that So many roles thatwe take on, whether at work, at
home, socially, a mother,daughter, friend, whatever you
are, it can feel overwhelming.
Jess (04:16):
Exactly, and so many
people don't have time for the
traditional self care.
It's hard to take an afternoonoff or do a long yoga class.
In fact, I've got like threeminutes sometimes in between
clients and I will do a coupleof stretches I can't do a whole
hour But I will do stretches orI make sure that I get up and I
(04:36):
walk around my kitchen island Iliterally will get out of my
office, I'll go walk around mykitchen island, grab my cheese
and my soda, and then I comeback, but I make sure Your
cheese stick.
My cheese stick.
Because that's all we're eatingis
Randi (04:47):
a cheese stick.
Cheese stick and a Diet Coke.
It's better than nothing.
That's the mindset that we havewith this.
It's protein.
It's
Jess (04:55):
protein.
And I can't have a huge meal inthree minutes, so I can eat a
cheese stick.
But I'll do it.
And I go the long way, or if Ireally need to walk, I'll also
go around the dining room table,and then I come back, so A, I've
gotten some steps, I've got alittle bit of movement, and I'm
not just stuck there, and soit's about adding these little
things
Randi (05:12):
up.
this is like an answer to thismodern problem where We don't
have large blocks of time And sowhen we break it down into these
small actions, we're making itmore attainable We can access
it.
We can be more consistent thanwith it And it's something that
you don't have to wait for theperfect time to do I feel like a
(05:33):
lot of times we get in our headsand we're like it needs to be a
certain Atmosphere it needs tobe a certain time of the day
like I need to have a new outfitto do this no we just You Do it.
You give yourself, that oneminute or that five minutes or
that ten minutes and be like,okay I'm just gonna do it.
I'm just gonna stretch.
I'm just gonna breathe I'm justgonna walk outside and put my
feet, you know in the grassWhatever that looks like and
(05:55):
just be like I'm gonna do itright now on this moment
Jess (05:58):
So many of us wait for
that perfect moment.
You're right.
An hour and I'm gonna waitBecause we don't have a full
Full hour together because thekids came in or because work
called or because we have to runand grab the dogs from the vet,
whatever it is.
But you know what we can do iswe can take 10 minutes.
Randi (06:16):
So why is this so
important for women's mental
health?
Jess (06:19):
As women, we are often the
caregivers.
We're not just caring for ourchildren, but our partners, our
parents, our friends.
We are in this caregiving roleand sometimes it feels very
selfish or even impossible.
And I'm going to say to carveout time for ourselves.
We have this concept that we cancarve out time or that we can
make time or we can set asidetime.
(06:41):
That is not how time works.
It does not grow on a tree inthe backyard.
I wish it did.
I could go pluck time out of theair.
It is not something and time issomething I hear women all the
time saying is I don't havetime.
I don't have time for that.
I don't have time.
And
Randi (06:56):
that's us putting our
needs last.
Jess (06:58):
Yes.
And sometimes we're like, well,I need a full hour of this so I
can get replenished.
No, I don't need a full hour.
I need 10 minutes.
Before I can go be a betterperson.
Randi (07:07):
Yeah, and those 10
minutes every day of the week,
that's an hour of that.
That adds up.
Those little things add up.
Jess (07:13):
Yeah, sometimes I'll sit
in my office, Randy, and I'll
finish with my day, and I'm notready to go outside yet.
I'm not ready to go out into thekitchen.
And so I'll stay in my officefor 10 minutes.
And they're like, oh, didsomebody go over?
Oh, yeah, I was just wrappingsome stuff up.
Nah, dude, I might be sittingthere stretching or playing on
Facebook.
Sometimes I hide
Randi (07:30):
out in my car.
I just don't get out of the carbecause I'm like in a little
bubble.
I'm either working or doingsomething or taking a break,
because I don't want any otherdistractions.
And I'm just like, this is mylittle safe zone.
Cause I don't have a readingshack in the backyard though.
I would love one, but it'sgiving myself like that safe
space to just take a handful ofminutes to kind of like check in
(07:52):
with myself and reset becauseoften we get to the point where
we feel like we're going tobreak.
Jess (07:59):
Exactly.
Gosh, one time when mine waslike two, they were apparently
in the garage and the garage wasslightly open and I was in the
driveway and I was in my car forfive more minutes.
It had been one of those days Iwanted to finish a couple songs.
Next thing I know, I see thislittle head popping underneath
it.
Mom's home! Mom's home! I'm allexcited.
I'm excited.
And the next thing you know, thegarage door's going up.
(08:20):
Oh, what are you doing?
Yep.
Just got here.
Yep.
So then I decided I had to waitdown the street when I needed
that extra time.
I'd be parked two houses downand then when I was ready, I
would drive in.
And so it's finding whatever youneed to do to make that time.
See here I am making time.
We can't make time.
We can't carve it.
Randi (08:37):
Just taking small moments
to show up for ourselves.
It reinforces that we areimportant too.
We are important.
We deserve to be cared for.
We deserve to take care ofourselves.
And this has an overall impacton our mental health, our
(08:57):
physical health.
Emotional, everything.
Especially when we do itconsistently.
Jess (09:03):
I am a better person when
I take care of myself.
It just, I'm Because like
Randi (09:07):
we've talked about this
before, you cannot pour from an
empty cup.
You can't just give and give andgive and give and get nothing
back in return.
You are going to shatter.
Jess (09:17):
Or get snappy or say
things that you don't want.
And so it is okay to say, I needFive minutes.
I need ten minutes.
I need a half hour.
And I've shared this before, mymom worked a very stressful,
high level job.
She would come home from herlong commute and she would go
into her bedroom and change.
I didn't know at the time, butit would take ten minutes to an
(09:40):
hour.
I don't know.
Yeah, and that was her That washer decompressing that she'd say
as soon as I changed we couldtalk to her and the minute She
walked out and she was changed.
We could all attack her in thehallway,
Randi (09:49):
though Like I need this
time to Yeah process and I used
to do that too and I would comehome from working with clients
especially because I was in ahigh stress severely, mentally
ill clients.
I need an hour to just, whetherthat's cry, and let it all out.
so that I wasn't bringing thatinto my home life and my kids I
(10:11):
could process the day and let itgo and be able to be like, okay,
now I'm here.
Now I'm present.
Jess (10:15):
I know.
I love it.
My family's always like, how wasyour day today?
It was great! But I'm thinking Ihad to call CPS once, I had to
do a safety plan, I was a littleworried about the last one, but
I'm like, oh, it's great, yeah,it's great, how was your day?
Because I can't talk about it,let's do some practical tips for
some other people, besidesourselves, on how they can
incorporate the micro self caretips.
Randi (10:36):
So one of our favorites
is a one minute deep breath.
When you feel overwhelmed, takeone minute to breathe in deeply
through your nose on fourcounts.
and then exhale for four counts.
Just doing this simple act ofdeep breathing can help you feel
(10:57):
more grounded and reduce youranxiety almost instantly.
Jess (11:01):
when you do this, I really
want you to either do a
superwoman pose.
Or put your hands up on yourhead like a triangle, like you
just ran a marathon.
Yeah, yeah.
Randi (11:11):
do box breathing before.
Well,
Jess (11:13):
yeah, box or triangle
breathing.
Yeah, when you do it like that,because what it does is it opens
up your lungs.
And if you could just do that nomore than three times, really,
because then you'll getlightheaded.
But just do that and it willreally all of a sudden change
the scenario of whatever ishappening.
And if you do that a couple oftimes a day, set a reminder, put
it on your watch.
A lot of our watches will tellus to breathe, which is great.
(11:36):
Just do that one minute and thatis going to change your day.
Randi (11:40):
So this next one I love
so much too.
So let's talk about mindfulsipping.
we're not talking about vodka,okay?
Jess (11:48):
We're talking, we're not
like mindfully sipping whiskey.
We're talking about that cup ofcoffee or tea.
Randi gave me this cool she hadno, I don't know how she knew I
wanted a teacup, like ateakettle.
She gave me this.
Oh yeah, for your office.
Yeah, she gave me this beautifuliridescent tea kettle that I
pull out every winter, becauseit's nice and cold in my office,
it's like this whole displaything, and I put it on one of my
(12:11):
pretty boards.
I have a little tea cup with it,and I put my decaf tea in it,
but it's always something thatis just lovely, like a berry or,
yes, it is, and then now I'malso getting my water, and I
will pour from that, and I willjust sip.
From that.
And I will take a moment whileI'm doing it to not only just
chug it, like I do my coffee,but to smell the tea.
(12:33):
Because the aroma, like theessence, enjoying
Randi (12:35):
the flavor, like just
taking that five minutes to just
Jess (12:39):
pause
Randi (12:40):
and.
And be present in that moment ofwhat you're doing.
Jess (12:44):
Yeah.
And just the taste of it,because again, I don't, I, I has
to be something yummy that Ilike and just really enjoying
that moment, even if I'm with aclient, I want to just, just
have it there in my hand andenjoy it.
And it's gotta be a pretty cup,by the way, it can't be an ugly
cup.
And it has to be a pretty cup.
I'm holding a cup in my air.
It's a pretty cup.
(13:05):
Okay.
Another tip during your work daywould be every hour or so to get
up and stretch, maybe look outthe window, shift your position.
Somehow a lot of us have thesestanding desks, lowering desks,
just to shift it and move andmaybe just acknowledge like a
stretch to the sun, that is sucha good, yeah,
Randi (13:25):
Yeah.
Cause that helps it reducestension, helps you clear your
mind.
That's why too, if you have anApple watch, like it tells you,
you need to get up and move.
Like every so often.
They all do.
Yeah.
Even like a Fitbit.
A lot of times I ignore it.
But, I'm like, okay, no, I needto get up and I need to move my
body because that's going tohelp me throughout the day.
That's going to make the end ofthe day that much more bearable
(13:48):
if I've taken care of myselfthroughout the day in these
little tiny micro self care.
Jess (13:53):
The other one I learned in
grad school was if you have your
feet, especially if you'refeeling frustrated or agitated
or like fidgety, you can't do itopen toed shoes though.
Okay.
If you're sitting there withboth feet on the ground and you
start with your pinky, yourpink, it's not a pinky toe.
What is it?
Baby toe, baby toe.
You start with your baby toe.
I was like, is it a pinky toe?
You start with your baby toe andyou start to roll your toes
(14:16):
inward.
Start both and just roll themin.
So
Randi (14:18):
you're like tension and
then let go.
Jess (14:20):
Yes, and you let go.
So you roll them in.
When you hit your big toe youlet go and you start over a few
times.
That can help when you'refeeling like I got a fidget or
I'm in a meeting and I can'tmove or this is making me feel
awkward.
It's really good for muscle liketension relief, which is a weird
thing.
And I do
Randi (14:39):
that too when I meditate
and I'm trying to relax and go
to sleep like I'll do that whereI like you tense up.
And then you slowly let go ofthe tension so that it's
grounding you in the now.
Jess (14:51):
Hmm.
Yeah, like I feel like
Randi (14:52):
each muscle whether it's
your hands your fingers even
your jaw your tongue like yourbutt.
Yeah, like everything I will godown from head to toe you don't
have to do that You can pick onething but a lot of times like I
notice too like i'll clench myjaw Yes when i'm doing things
and so like I I will be like,okay loosen it loosen it, like
tense let go so just like thatpause.
(15:13):
You Junk journaling.
We've talked about it.
It's huge.
Gratitude journaling.
Jess (15:19):
In fact, there's a, one of
the next shows I'm doing, she
has an entire like junkjournaling kit.
Randi (15:24):
It's huge.
There's a handful of girls onTikTok that I watch that show
how they junk journal and it's,it's crazy.
It's, I've always loved thisbecause I feel like you don't
need to have, everything doesn'tneed to be aesthetic.
Like you can use what you haveand then just put it together
and write about it.
And this is something you can dovery quickly, whether you want
(15:45):
to just put a note on your phoneor just write it out, just
quickly jot down one or twothings you are grateful for
right in that moment.
Jess (15:53):
And the other thing I like
to have you do with that
gratitude is I want you to openup every day.
Wake up, look at your gratitude.
Okay, what was yesterday's?
And then go find something elsethat you're grateful for.
And it doesn't have to be thishuge thing.
It just has to be different.
I am grateful that I hit all thegreen lights,
Randi (16:11):
right?
I am
Jess (16:12):
grateful that I got to see
that smile.
It doesn't have
Randi (16:15):
to be something like life
altering, like you can be
grateful for anything.
And just thinking on thosepositive things.
Has a huge impact on shiftingyour perspective.
Jess (16:26):
Exactly.
And then at the end of the day,if you can write it down, so the
next day, you know what it is.
And that way, when you'restruggling, you can go back and
look and go, okay, what was Igrateful for?
And then once you start doingthis practice, it becomes.
A lot easier for you to do.
Yeah,
Randi (16:41):
then you just, it, it
becomes a habit.
So you just are doing it withouteven really like thinking about
it.
Jess (16:46):
And I'll do that often
times when I feel like I'm
getting more frustrated.
I will start going, okay let meget back into my gratitude and
let me see what I'm gratefulfor.
And one day I was sitting there,okay this sounds really dumb,
well not dumb but like bougie.
I was sitting in the hot tub andlike we got these really big
snowflakes.
And it was the coolest thingwith this blue sky.
And I was like wow, I am reallyglad that I am sitting right
(17:07):
here.
With these big snowflakes rightnow.
I had never seen snowflakes thathuge.
And it was just the coolestthing instead of just going, Oh,
it's snowing.
Randi (17:17):
Oh, it's snowing.
So let's talk about feeling likeI just don't have the time.
It's just like one more thingfor me to do.
I feel like a lot of us facethis.
Like I just can't put one morething on my plate.
Jess (17:29):
I think when we say I
don't have enough time, it goes
right along with that.
I'm busy.
How are you?
I'm busy.
No, no, no, no.
That's what's going on, not howare you.
And I feel like a lot of timeswe say these things because
we're so overwhelmed, and wedon't break it down into the
littler pieces.
I think it's important to remindourselves that these are tiny
(17:50):
moments, these beingoverwhelmed.
Tiny
Randi (17:52):
moments.
30 seconds.
Yes.
Can you find 30 seconds today todo something for yourself?
Jess (17:58):
Oh, you're listening to
our podcast, so that counts for
right there because you'realready listening.
But I want you to find one otherthing to spend a few minutes, 30
seconds, a minute here or thereto really reframe, and you said
it earlier, Randi, reframe whatis more doable for you.
Randi (18:15):
another thing too is to
stack these habits with
something else you're alreadydoing.
Like the gratitude practice,maybe pausing to think about
what you're grateful for whileyou're brushing your teeth.
Jess (18:26):
Oh, I like that.
Randi (18:27):
Or deep breathing while
you're brewing a cup of coffee
at work or at home.
It's an easy way to make thatpart of your routine.
So I'm already doing this.
I'm putting on my makeup.
Maybe I'm going to deep breathewhile I'm doing my makeup or
like I'm already, have to walkto the coffee machine to do
this.
I'm going to do, some deepbreaths or think about things
(18:50):
that are important and I'mgrateful for today.
Jess (18:52):
I like that.
And if you're going to have ahard time, do things like on
your coffee maker, put a little,
Randi (18:57):
a little,
Jess (18:57):
a little note to remind
yourself while you're sitting
there.
Randi (19:00):
when I was in my 20s,
even before I even thought I
would have anything to do withlike mental health or being like
a therapist.
Like I used to put post its oflike affirmations all over the
place before it was like a thingyou even did people are like,
you're weird.
And I was like, no, because I ama visual person.
So I needed the constantreminder for myself because.
(19:22):
At the time, I didn't know I wasundiagnosed ADHD, so I would
live in my head So those littleconstant reminders, you know
throughout my house would helpme pause in the moment and
remember like what was importantor what I should be focusing on
Jess (19:35):
That's so funny in
college.
I used to keep them in the visorof my car Yeah, and every time I
would start my car I would saymy affirmations And so every
time I started I start my car atleast twice a day
Randi (19:46):
Yeah,
Jess (19:46):
and so i'd say my
affirmations or I'd pick one of
my affirmations
Randi (19:50):
Yes, not really knowing
it and like once I know like my
boyfriend I had in my 20s Likehe was like, it's so weird.
Did you do that?
And that's why he
Jess (19:58):
was a boyfriend And he's
an ex
Randi (20:01):
and i'm a therapist
Anyways, so let's go over our
have you evers?
Okay.
So randy, what is micro selfcare?
You consistent, small,manageable, bite sized practices
or activities that nurture yoursoul, your mental well being,
your emotional well being, yourphysical well being, and they
(20:24):
can be as brief as a few secondsor a few minutes just so they
fit into your busy lifestyle andare not overwhelming.
How do we, again, incorporatethese into our hectic workday?
Jess (20:39):
First I want you to
identify little pockets of where
you can, and little pockets.
Your morning cup of coffee, afive minute break or walk
between meetings maybe, whenyour computer is booting up, if
we even do that anymore, becausemost of us just leave it on all
the time.
But these are things that youcan do when you're like when
you're doing your deepbreathing.
(20:59):
You can take the time to sipsome tea or your coffee
carefully.
You can get up and stretchbetween meetings or take maybe
the long route to the bathroomversus the short route and just
get a little bit more movementgoing.
They're just small little tinypockets of time.
All right, Randi, can yousuggest quick self care
activities for a busy mom?
Randi (21:21):
So try a one song dance
party while doing chores or I do
this too because like I'll getin a funk and I will put on some
music and just like dance aroundto kind of like shake it off and
I'm like, okay, I've got Youknow literally like three, you
know to five minutes and that'sit, And i'm just gonna let it
(21:41):
all out and leave it all outthere on my you know fake dance
floor another thing is enjoyinglike a favorite snack like in
peace like whether you're hidingout in your car Carrier closet.
Jess (21:54):
Yeah, you're like, what
are you
Randi (21:55):
eating after the kids?
I've gone to bed, just takingthat time to like really enjoy
Whatever that small Thing is ifit's one piece, you know of
chocolate or like a little minicharcuterie board Sometimes i'll
make like my own little minicharcuterie and not share.
Yeah and not share You know whati'm
Jess (22:13):
doing right now.
It's so funny.
I love october.
I always hide the big costco bagof candy in my closet You And my
family, we're all, everyone'solder, so they're all doing
their own thing.
If they want the candy, theyhave to come into mom's office
to get the candy.
I hide it, and they know whereit is.
So
Randi (22:29):
they gotta
Jess (22:30):
come talk to me and say hi
to me.
Which is what I want, becausethey're all doing their own
thing.
And so they come in, they sayhi, get the candy, and they
leave.
And so I'm sitting there.
That's what I'm doing for minebecause I enjoy seeing him.
Randi (22:43):
Yeah, yeah.
Or you could just take a quick,sometimes for me it's just
walking to go get the mail, likedown the street.
I do that.
Because like our, we have acommunity mailbox and we have to
walk down there and get it.
I'm like, okay, I'm going totake the time, to walk down
there, take the dog and just,have some alone time.
Amen.
That's it.
So what if you are, you feellike you're too tired for self
(23:05):
care after work?
What can you do?
Jess (23:08):
You can do something that
doesn't take a lot of energy.
If you're exhausted, maybe thatdance party isn't gonna work.
Or that walk, you're like, yeah,I can't do it.
So listen to a calm podcast.
Read a page or two of a bookthat really inspires you.
Or watch something that inspiresyou.
Maybe you're gonna put you know,a face mask on something that
(23:30):
you don't normally do, butsomething that's showing that
you care for yourself to feelpampered, even if it's putting
on your favorite fluffy socks.
We all have our favorite fluffysocks that just make us feel so
good.
Alright what are some examplesof emotional micro self care?
Randi (23:49):
Journaling your thoughts
for a few minutes, or I love
this, sending a gratitude textto like a friend or like a
family member, Aren't thosegreat?
Yeah, that you're like just likethinking of them and that you
love them.
I got one from my sister thismorning and she's I just want
you to know like you're soawesome and that blah, blah,
blah.
And I want you to take time foryourself today.
(24:09):
Maybe take an extra long bathlike this.
And I said, are you dying?
Are you okay?
And she's what?
I can't say something nice toyou.
And I was like, you never sayanything nice to me like that.
But then I was like, oh, and it,it did.
It helped me shift my mindsetthis morning.
And I was like, oh, she actuallycares.
Jess (24:28):
And she's laughing, which
is great.
Randi (24:30):
Bratty, baby sister that,
and we work together too that's
hard too, because we always havea lot of like things happening
that are like crisis mode, so wewere both kind of like, oh, and
then I was like, well, I hopeyou have a really good day too,
instead of you're such anannoying sister, but I love you
still those kind of thingsPracticing affirmations whether
you're writing them on a stickynote or saying them in the
shower, small gestures like thatcan profoundly impact your
(24:54):
emotional well being.
like we were talking about,practicing this in the workplace
or your workday, even if youwork from home, how can you do
that?
Jess (25:03):
I always say decorate your
area with something that brings
you joy.
You know what I have that Ifreaking love?
I have a a digital frame in myoffice.
I love it.
It's a bigger one and I uploadeverything from my phone to this
digital camera and it's all thepictures that we don't post
anywhere.
They're just on our phone.
(25:23):
I love it.
Your memories.
And I love it.
And I find when people come inmy office, the family will stop
and they'll check it out becausethey don't always see what's on
my phone.
I don't see what's on my phonebecause we take it and we forget
about it.
So there's a couple up there,they make me giggle and it just
makes me laugh when I see them.
I love it because I have it myvision.
And so I can see, honestly, whyit is I'm working, why it is I'm
(25:47):
doing all of this, my, it's mywhy, and it changes because it
rotates and it's just, I lovedoing that.
The other thing I'll do is I'lldo different air fresheners or
like the, the myths that wehave, what are those called?
Aromatherapy.
Randi (26:00):
Oh, oh.
Sorry.
The oils and stuff like that.
Oh, diffuser.
Yes.
Oh.
Here we go.
Together we have a whole brain.
Sometimes.
But
Jess (26:10):
yeah,
Randi (26:10):
I'll do a diffuser.
Well, I buy like cute stuff formy office that makes me happy,
like I bought like this tuliplamp.
I
Jess (26:16):
actually love coming in
her office because she has all
this fun stuff.
I'm always like, oh, what do youhave now?
Randi (26:21):
It Like, like I bought
myself some pens, but like
really creating like asanctuary, like someplace where
you feel safe and like at homecan make a huge impact in your.
Work environment and that can bea form of pens can be a form of
self care.
Okay, like I'm super excitedabout these smooth new Sharpie
Jess (26:42):
Actually, I'm gonna have
her open it later so I can see
what they are.
They just released these didthey?
Oh, I
Randi (26:47):
hate when she does that
and then now I'm like, I'm gonna
go buy them and they're new andthey have different colors
Jess (26:52):
Oh, remember when we were
in like high school We'd have
all the pink and blue pens andlike we'd have all the different
fun pens The clickers.
Oh my gosh.
Yes.
Okay,
Randi (27:00):
but those little things
can be self care.
Maybe you want to use that crazypen like at work and it just
makes you laugh and smile.
Makes you happy.
That's, okay.
So then how can I remember topractice this and do this?
It's when I get so wrapped upand I'm busy.
Just like you said, put sticky
Jess (27:16):
notes all over the house.
Make visuals.
I know my husband hates thosethings that say kitchen when
you're in the kitchen or eathere.
He hates that.
We have a friend who has herentire house is full of those
things.
The words.
All the words.
I know, it's supposed to
Randi (27:29):
be like a Decorating faux
pas to have word art everywhere.
Jess (27:33):
Well, it drives him nuts,
but you can leave yourself
little notes.
You can leave yourself a picturethat reminds you, right?
Of a smile.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, let me take a look atthis.
Or,, leave yourself a prompt.
What are you looking for today?
That's a great question as youwalk out the door.
What am I looking for today?
Or what do
Randi (27:49):
I want to get out of
today?
Jess (27:51):
Yeah, what do I want
Randi (27:52):
to put into the world?
Yeah, or that's another thing,what do I want to give others?
Yes! Sometimes flipping it aboutnot making it always about
yourself, but that can still beself care, giving into others
and putting good things out intothe world.
Yeah, I used to tell my kids,make it a great day.
Yeah.
Jess (28:10):
make it the best.
All right, let's survive.
Maya, don't do what I used todo.
Make good decisions, please.
Not the
Randi (28:19):
decisions I made.
So what if you feel guilty abouttaking time for this?
Jess (28:25):
I wish, I know, I wish we
would stop feeling guilty,
Randi, because, the guilt and
Randi (28:29):
the shame.
Jess (28:30):
Yes.
I wish we could get rid of theguilt and the shame and just do
what we want.
Go listen to our, our podcast onno longer, doing things you
don't want to do.
I will no longer do things outof obligation.
And protecting
Randi (28:42):
your peace.
Oh.
Radical
Jess (28:45):
self acceptance and love.
Randi (28:46):
We have, we have a lot of
information out there that can
really help you guys that wejust talk about, like from our
heart and our experiences.
And so deep dive into it, ifyou.
Jess (28:56):
Or just take it in small,
little, skittle sized chunks,
whatever you want, if you can doten minutes of us, then do ten
minutes.
I
Randi (29:02):
mean, even I will go back
and listen to our podcast and
sometimes I only have, five orten minutes and I'll listen to a
chunk of it because that's whatI have and it makes me laugh and
smile, oh yeah, and when I go
Jess (29:11):
through an edit, I just
crack up.
Some of it, I'm just crackingup, I'm just like, oh, that was
good, oh, that's good, Randy,oh, listen to that, and I laugh.
Okay, so Randi, how can I justreally make this self care a
habit?
Micro self care.
How do we do it?
Micro,
Randi (29:25):
micro, small doses, not
that kind of dosing.
I
Jess (29:29):
was just gonna say, wait,
wait, wait, we're not talking
about micro dosing.
We're not talking
Randi (29:33):
about micro dosing.
Okay, well, micro dosing selfcare.
So start small, be realisticabout what You can fit into your
day or stack with something elseyou're doing and celebrate that
you are doing those micro tinymoments for yourself.
And gradually it will becomewoven into your daily routine
(29:56):
and how you do it.
Jess (29:57):
Yeah, exactly.
So those are some quick.
Easy to fit into your life, selfcare moments, routines, habits,
whatever it is, remember selfcare doesn't have to be time
consuming and it doesn't have tobe this elaborative bougie thing
to be effective.
Yeah, it doesn't have to be
Randi (30:15):
expensive.
No,
Jess (30:17):
the key really is
consistency and giving yourself
permission.
I think this is really the keyis giving yourself permission to
take that moment.
You deserve that minute.
You deserve an hour, but youdeserve that minute.
That.
30 seconds, that extra step.
You
Randi (30:31):
deserve a weekend in a
hotel.
Jess (30:32):
Oh my gosh.
With no kids, but we won't go
Randi (30:35):
there.
Jess (30:35):
But you deserve all of
this and you are worthy of it.
And you are going to be a betterperson for giving yourself that
permission.
Randi (30:44):
We hope these tips
inspire you to incorporate micro
self care into your day.
And if you know someone whocould benefit from this, don't
forget to share this episodewith them.
Jess (30:54):
All right.
Take care and we'll see you nexttime.