February 25, 2025 • 40 mins
In this special milestone episode, we’re celebrating five years of the podcast and my 50th birthday with an empowering conversation about the transformative power of style!
Joining her is Morgan Wider, founder of Wider Style and author of The Worthy Wardrobe, to explore how authentic self-expression through style can elevate confidence, impact success, and create alignment between personal and professional identity.
What does your wardrobe say about you? Whether you're navigating rigid dress codes, stepping into leadership roles, or simply seeking a wardrobe that makes you feel powerful and worthy, this episode offers deep insights into the interplay between fashion, self-worth, and success.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
✨ The Power of Authenticity in Style: Why dressing as your true self boosts confidence and how to balance self-expression with professional expectations.
✨ Vulnerability & Fashion: How your wardrobe reflects more than just appearance—it’s an emotional and psychological tool for self-acceptance.
✨ Strategic Wardrobe Investments: Where to spend vs. save when building a professional wardrobe, especially for women in male-dominated industries.
✨ Wardrobe as a Career Tool: How personal style impacts the way you're perceived and can open doors to unexpected opportunities.
✨ Smart Fashion Purchases: How to elevate your style on a budget with practical tips on investing in key pieces like blazers, shoes, and accessories.
Resources:
Morgan's online course! Listeners can get 25% off with the code PODCAST
Connect on LinkedIn with Morgan
The previous presentation by PEARL PLANNING was intended for general information purposes only. No portion of the presentation serves as the receipt of, or as a substitute for, personalized investment advice from PEARL PLANNING or any other investment professional of your choosing. Different types of investments involve varying degrees of risk, and it should not be assumed that future performance of any specific investment or investment strategy, or any non-investment related or planning services, discussion or content, will be profitable, be suitable for your portfolio or individual situation, or prove successful. Neither PEARL PLANNING’s investment adviser registration status, nor any amount of prior experience or success, should be construed that a certain level of results or satisfaction will be achieved if PEARL PLANNING is engaged, or continues to be engaged, to provide investment advisory services. PEARL PLANNING is neither a law firm nor accounting firm, and no portion of its services should be construed as legal or accounting advice. No portion of the video content should be construed by a client or prospective client as a guarantee that he/she will experience a certain level of results if PEARL PLANNING is engaged, or continues to be engaged, to provide investment advisory services. A copy of PEARL PLANNING’s current written disclosure Brochure discussing our advisory services and fees is available upon request or at https:...
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the Women's Money Wisdom Podcast.
I'm Melissa Joy, a certifiedfinancial planner and the
founder of Pearl Planning.
My goal is to help youstreamline and organize your
finances, navigate big moneydecisions with confidence and be
strategic in order to grow yourwealth.
As a woman, you work hard foryour money and I'm here to help
(00:21):
you make the most of it.
Now let's get into the show.
And I'm here to help you makethe most of it.
Now let's get into the show.
Just a quick note before wedive in.
The information that we shareis meant to educate and inspire,
not serve as personalizedfinancial advice.
Everyone's situation is unique,so be sure to consult with your
own financial professional forguidance that fits your life.
And just so you know, theopinions shared in this podcast
(00:44):
are my own and those of myguests, and they don't
necessarily represent those ofany organizations that I'm
affiliated with.
For more important disclosures,please go to our webpage at
pearlplancom.
Now let's get started.
Welcome back to the Women'sMoney Wisdom Podcast.
We've got a special episodetoday.
(01:04):
I don't know that you guys knowthis because it just snuck up
on me, but it is the fifthanniversary this month, this
week, of the launch of thepodcast.
Also, I turned 50 years oldyesterday as of the publication
of this podcast, so I'm going tocall this a birthday episode.
I think it's a gift to all ofus.
I have a rock star guest,morgan Weider.
(01:27):
She is a coach and expert onexecutive presence.
She's the founder of WeiderStyle and she transforms how
leaders show up at work.
Morgan is also the author ofthe Worthy Wardrobe your Guide
to Style, shopping and Soul, andI think you're going to be
blown away by this episode,morgan.
(01:49):
Welcome to the podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Thank you and happy birthday and happy anniversary,
Melissa.
I'm so honored.
I know what some greatmilestones.
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Lots of fives in there I thought about that.
Yeah, when we talked aboutdoing an episode and I wanted to
save something special for thisparticular week, I just felt
like what we're going to talkabout today is about so much
more than fashion and style.
It's about your identity, it'sabout your space in the world.
(02:20):
It's about who you want to beand how you can feel comfortable
in your own skin, and I don'tknow that really matters to me.
It's made a difference for meas I've embraced my authentic
self and I hope for ourlisteners they feel permission
to explore this topic more.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
I'm so excited to go deep with you and thank you
again for having me and creatingthis space for us to have this
real conversation.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Well, first of all, let's talk about what you do,
because you're sitting with thebest background we've ever had
on the podcast.
Thank you, look at that closet.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
This is my office closet, meditation room,
dressing room.
Yes, it is my she shed that Ilove to come in here and get
inspired, just myself, and haveconversations with people.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Well, you help people represent themselves.
Tell me a little bit about whatyou do and what inspired you to
do the work you do.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Sure, so the technical title that I've
created for myself.
As an executive stylist, I likeworking with professionals on
essentially, Melissa, how do youtake the inside of you and
accurately reflect it on theoutside with your wardrobe, your
hair and how you presentyourself?
I'm so fortunate that I'vegotten to do this work with
(03:39):
women and men of all differentprofessional levels.
I've gotten to speak at alldifferent types of companies and
colleges, all with the goal ofshowing up as your most
authentic self.
Like this is absolutely deeperthan clothing.
It is really about how you canfeel your best, no matter what
the occasion, no matter whatroom you're walking into.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Well, I think about my personal history.
I still remember clothes that Iwore as a child.
I remember certain days wearingcertain things that made me
feel good and represented myself.
I loved to shop as a child andI feel like earlier in my career
, especially because, likesignaling tells you when you're
(04:20):
younger, used to you kind ofneed to like.
Well, I work in the financialfield with a lot of what I would
call penguins Think of likeblack and Navy suits and you
need to be a penguin to beappreciated or rewarded, and I
spent a lot of the last five or10 years trying to figure out
(04:42):
how to more authentically be whoI am.
Some of that comes permissionwith age, I'd say, speaking of
milestone birthdays, but also Ithink that I feel more able to
be successful and able totelegraph and represent what me
and the work that my company,pro planning, does, when we can
(05:05):
more, just be more real.
Um, and you describe some ofthose same journeys in your book
, which I just.
This book is, like you said.
People say it's really readableand that, like, is a huge
compliment.
I really love it.
It's just got great ideas and alot packed into a little, a
little volume.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
So melissa, you said so much there and, um, one of
the things that I think aboutfor myself and a lot of the
women I've worked with in theprofessional spaces, is
something that I've called thehero's journey, and it is often
where, uh, we have been told atthe beginning of our careers
that the only way to succeed isto look like everyone else.
(05:45):
Play, play the game, play therules.
And I want to tell you a quickstory about a woman that I often
talk about, and she was a whenshe was in college at a
historically black university,florida A&M.
She was in engineering, and herrefrigeration engineering, to
be specific, and her professorsaid in order to be successful,
(06:05):
when you go out into theworkplace, you're going to be
the only woman and only personof color, so you need to look
and act and dress like as muchlike your white male
counterparts as possible.
And she, being the good studentthat she was, she did that.
She slowly moved up the ranksto middle manager and she wore
this uniform of blue shirts,black pants, and then, when she
got to middle manager role, formof blue shirts, black pants.
(06:25):
And then, when she got to middlemanager role, she started
getting invited to socialparties.
And she told me in thisinterview when I was writing my
book.
She said this is when I startedto wear my real clothes.
I'm like, what do you mean?
Like, what are your realclothes?
And she says I love brightcolors, I wear these gold high
heels, I have my hair naturaland when I go to these parties
everyone would say, oh my gosh,you're so funny.
I had no idea you're so funny.
And it clicked for her that whenshe was wearing her that
uniform of playing small, shewasn't being herself and they
(06:48):
actually liked her more when shewas her most authentic self in
the clothes that she loved.
And actually she said that aftera few months of doing these
social events, her newfoundmentor told her an old white guy
when she was getting up for herperformance review come as
yourself.
We now know who you really areand we can take you as you
really are, because before wethought you were hiding and
(07:09):
lying to us and it was almostlike this shift for her of like.
As much as I wanted to get intothe good old boys club and I
thought I had to act like a goodold boy, the good old boys knew
that I wasn't a good old boy,so why would they trust me if
I'm trying to play like them?
And when I finally becamemyself, that is when I reached
the top and that's, I think, forso many of us.
(07:29):
Waiting until we have thatmeasure of success to be
ourselves is so detrimental toour psyche, our confidence, and
it sends a bad message to thosewomen who are coming after us
that they have to do the samething.
So I'm always about how can yoube authentic and be appropriate
from the start of your career,or as soon as possible, like
today, today and not waste timewaiting until this mythical
(07:51):
successful point to be yourself.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Oh, that's so interesting Because I think
about her.
What if she did kind of get theinvitation into the room
without her true self beingrepresented?
How restricting anduncomfortable would that be for
her day in, day out?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Absolutely, and so many, a lot of women leave those
environments like finance andengineering because they feel
like they can't be themselves.
And even in your case of beinglike the penguin doesn't help
you stand out and build yourbusiness Like it's actually like
.
If you look like everyone else,no one is going to notice you.
So it's.
(08:30):
It is this ironic lie thatwe've been told of success comes
from blending in and playingsmall.
But as a business owner and asa professional, your goal is to
get noticed.
It is to build a brand thatstands out from everybody else.
How can you do that if you'renot being yourself and how you
dress and show up?
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Well, I've learned these lessons in real life.
So I, just when I got to thepoint where I started pro
planning six years ago you knowI've been around the block I,
even when you're saying, playthe game.
I remember early in my careerthe survivor was newer on the
CBS show and I was, like, youknow, kind of the business.
(09:09):
Your career is kind of like agame of survivor.
You've got to be tactical,you've got to be, like you know,
really competitive and you knowthat's a tough place to be
where you feel like work is acompetition versus someplace
where you can be rewarded foryour contribution.
And so when I started thecompany we, you know, I was just
(09:31):
like we're going to be me.
I know I can go get a job if Ineed to like conform, but we,
you know, we're going to trythis out in a way that feels
much more authentic andcomfortable from, you know,
having an office five minutesaway from my house.
That wasn't in like the citycenter.
You know, if you look at ourwebsite, we're an all-female
team and people often are like,oh well, that it's so great that
(09:54):
you're working with only womenclients.
It's like what part of beingfemale employees means that we
are excluding men from beingclientele.
We love the men that we workwith and, you know, one time I
had a client when I opened thenew office who came in and I was
wearing jeans and he was like,oh, I see, we've changed the
dress code around here.
And I was like, you know, I'vebeen around the block and it's
(10:16):
just fine to do business injeans when you're in the
environment.
We're in and still doing greatwork, and so most people that
fit in and some people that feltawkward and that's just okay.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
That is, and you wearing jeans and maybe meeting
your client where you are.
I remember I was speaking to acollege group, a group of
college students, and one feltthe need to say well, maybe you
know, I'm going into finance.
I feel like I need to, like,cover my tattoos and I'm like
that's a choice that you canmake, but you, being a tattooed
financial planner, might helpyou have a niche in a business
(10:49):
and attract people who may havea lot of tattoos, who thought
that financial planning wasn'tfor them, and so, like the idea
of using your wardrobe, like inyour case, melissa, we've talked
about how you were bright pink,right in your headshot, like
and and and, and owning who youare helps you attract the people
that may never have found youbecause you are blending in with
the penguins well and I alwaystell people you need to be
(11:12):
comfortable with your financialplanner.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
You don't always have to have a good hair day to work
with them.
Like you need to come to themwith your problems and if you
feel like they're not real orbeing real with you.
How do you get real with themwhen the reality is something
that might be a little messy?
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Vulnerability and authenticity.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
I love that, oh yes, such a big deal and it works.
In exchange, you can't justexpect people to be vulnerable
with you if you're invulnerable,impenetrable, like up on, you
know, up on the mountaintop, andnot relatable even to yourself.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Even to yourself, even to and I often say your
wardrobe choices are bigger thanyou, the people below you, the
people on your team, yourdaughters, your sons.
They are paying attention tohow you dress, how you show up
for yourself, how youcommunicate.
I would say your worth to theworld and the choices that you
are getting dressed and thechoices that you make when you
(12:08):
step into the closet.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Well, if our listeners are still here and
enthusiastic so far, but theyfeel like they may need some
work to do to be a little moreauthentic, I mean, this is what
you do.
This is why people come to you.
Where do we start?
I mean, tell me more about howyou uncover someone's true self
(12:31):
and incorporate that into theirstyle.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
I am so fortunate that people trust me with this
process because it can get alittle.
It's intimate.
One of my core values isintimacy, like I love back to
that vulnerability andauthenticity part.
It is a chance for us to reallyhave honest conversations about
their life.
How do they want to show up inthe world?
And then, what does theiraudience need from them?
Because it's one thing to be sotrue to you that you're not
(13:09):
meeting what your audience needs, and by audience it could be
your clients, it could be yourteam.
If your business, all of thosethings and then we talk about
okay, like in the case ofMelissa, melissa is a classic,
her style profile is a two andher clients probably.
They want to feel safe andsecure and have a fundamental
trust aspect of I'm giving you alot of money to manage.
(13:30):
How can we communicate that inher wardrobe in a way that
signifies that this is theperson to come to you for those
things.
So, once we get clear on yourstyle and what do you want to be
known for, your body type andmaybe challenges that are
happening, and it could be postbabyivorce, perimenopause I've
worked with men who arepost-divorce and going back out
(13:51):
on the dating apps, like all ofthose things, like all the
things that can impact your life.
And then, how do we create acloset and an image that you
feel good in for the person youare right now, not who you were
five years ago, 20 pounds ago, ajob ago, or the job you want to
have, but right now, like howcan we really?
Speaker 1 (14:09):
lean into who you are .
Wow, there's there's so muchpacked in that, First of all,
you need to be cognizant of whoyou are and how you're changing,
which I think is very I mean,there's so much vulnerability
there.
There's so much honesty thatyou need with yourself.
There's so much, you know,detachment you need from the
shoulds of everybody elseexpects me to be this size.
(14:31):
All my friends are on Ozempic.
What do I do about, you know,going into this?
What do I wear to this event tofeel myself?
So many different things tothink about.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
Yes, the shooting is the thing that gets so many of
us caught up.
It's actually why, in mysessions, I don't want to sound
like a dictator per se, but Ireally don't let anyone else in
my client's life join us in oursessions, because other people,
(15:04):
some people can have a vestedinterest in you not changing and
you not right, like and so.
So if it could be your spouse oryour partner or your sister or
your mother, um, even yourdaughter, like I've had
sometimes, like I have to tellwhen I'm in a closet like, hey,
like your teenage daughter, shemay want you to get rid of those
clothes for her own selfishreasons.
Right, like, how to think aboutthese things.
(15:26):
But this is really a personaljourney and we can't dress for
everyone else.
And I know I talked aboutwhat's authentic and appropriate
for the audience, but it's alsobalancing what's authentic and
excitable for you, and so whenyou have all of these other
voices in your head and peoplewho may not want you to change,
(15:47):
they may not want you to investin yourself, that can be very,
very limiting.
So again, it's your job tofilter out the noise and I just
get to be a guide to help youfind the things that make you
feel good about yourself.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Wow, that is so powerful.
I think about other examples,like it's not just how you
present yourself in career, butdo you feel comfortable being
who you are or how you want topresent yourself Like?
Is there a uniform in townwhere you can't go over or under
?
You know level of pull togetherand things like that, when it's
(16:22):
nights and weekends and stufflike that.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
One of my best friends tells me this ABC always
be closing.
If you are a professional, ifyou are a business owner, you
never know when your nextopportunity could come from
right.
And so I'm not saying thateveryone needs to be fully
dressed up in high heels andfull glam at a grocery store,
but I remember when I was single, living in San Francisco and
(16:48):
San Francisco is inherentlycasual, right and in my job I
was working head quarters of thegap so I pretty much, and I
wasn't confident in who I was,so I would pretty much wear
baggy jeans and a white t-shirtevery day and I was going out
with one of my girlfriends and Iwas like, oh, I'll just wear
like my normal uniform.
She says you never know whenyou might meet your destiny.
And that changed how I viewedgetting dressed, because I never
, you never know what couldhappen when you walk out the
(17:10):
door.
And, yes, clothes are to helpsignify other people to come and
talk to you and attract you,but it also signifies how I felt
about myself, and the better Ifelt, the more confidence I
radiated and the more the betterthings that I attract.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Well, I think this all goes.
I feel like we're at a momentin time maybe it's just
generationally for Gen X andmillennial women, who are many
of our listeners where I wantyou, whether it's your work on
financial planning, your work onyour sense of style, which is
inherently your sense of self,at least for many of us If you
(17:45):
just say I don't care about that, it doesn't matter, hey, I'm
here for you and that's greatand that's a representation of
yourself as well.
But I feel like in a day andage where things feel uncertain,
things feel challenging, youmay feel threatened based on
your essence of identity, orjust all those shoulds of you
(18:07):
should be here by now.
This is where you should, whatyour career should look like why
doesn't your family look likethis or that when there is so
much power in knowing who youare whether it's what matters to
you financially or how you, howyou are comfortable, you know
(18:27):
kind of packaging yourself thatmakes a difference, because
that's something you can control.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Absolutely, absolutely.
You would not be crazy rightnow, in the times that we're
living in, to choose to opt out,to go into hiding, to keep your
head down, to play it safe.
That is a perfectlyunderstandable, natural reaction
to, essentially, theuncertainty that we are living
(18:55):
in right now.
I would encourage and I'mtalking to you, listeners, and
you, melissa's, I'm talking tomyself of the power of showing
up for yourself and, in my case,getting dressed each day is,
like you mentioned, the thingthat I can control.
It motivates me to keep goingand keep working and and and
(19:16):
keep, and not all hope is lost.
Um, I think that it is for me assimple as and I work out of
this office that I'm in rightnow, most days, it is as simple
as getting taking a shower andchanging out of my pajamas to
actually even like my worksweatpants, like even that
(19:38):
somebody you know, like I havemy cute work sweats, like the
little sets that I buy that Ifeel good in, and even that is a
signal of it's work time.
It's go time, it's you can't.
I don't get to wallow inuncertainty and pity in my work
pants.
You know, like I can do that inmy pajamas, but I can't do that
in work clothes, and thatseparation of mindset is
(20:00):
something that is.
It's powerful for me and Ithink that it's important for
all of us whether we're talkingabout in your emotions and how
you feel, but also again in thespaces that we are in to be the
change we want to see, to showup as your best self, to inspire
other people to do that In thecase of all of the different
(20:23):
initiatives that we've used tohave in place that encourage
diversity and inclusion andstanding out, and if those
fundamental structures go away,you being your authentic self is
still part of changing the tideand changing the narrative.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Yes, I mean representing yourself in any
room that you walk in.
This will be out in the world,both on audio and YouTube.
Like that is to me, it'shonoring our forebears who, for
us, women who really spoke outand asked for more, asked for a
(21:02):
different pathway.
So yeah, Totally.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
When I was writing my book, I interviewed over 70
women, and one woman who Iinterviewed I met previously
when I did some work withMercedes-Benz and she was
telling me that in the carindustry this was when she first
started out.
She was telling me that all ofus women wore.
She said we would get, we'd goget to Brooks Brothers and get
the little like the sometimesthe boy version of the men's
(21:31):
suits.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Yeah, the tailored, yep, yeah the tailored suits
right.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
And I said to her I'll never forget this.
I was like, well, what did thewomen in leadership wear?
Like why were you alwayswearing men's suits?
And she said, morgan, therewere no women in leadership,
(22:11):
no-transcript.
When she started off in hercareer.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Well, if we have time for a brief anecdote, I can
remember in the early 2000s Iwas much younger but I had
really great connections withsome powerhouse trailblazers
financial advice, femalefinancial advisors.
We would attend a conferenceevery year and I looked back and
said there's never been afemale keynote in this
(22:42):
conference I've attended.
I've been there more than 10years and, morgan, you're one of
those people nowadays rightthat you're getting up and
speaking at those types ofevents.
But I got together with otherpeople who cared about this and
two of us approached theexecutive who kind of organized
the conference and he said well,we've tried, there just aren't
(23:05):
any.
And when we really like laiddown the challenge of like, no,
seriously, like that can't bethe case.
You know it.
It took that ask and thatwasn't, that wasn't DEI, that
was just like common sense andlike personal appeal, Right?
And so I do think that thatpower to ask for more to take up
(23:30):
space in the room and that'sjust.
You know, that is your personalprivilege, for the power and
what you've earned for our rockstar listeners.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
Yes, it is what you've earned, but it's, I would
argue, what you inherently earn, or what you're worthy of.
I think earning is equated toyou have to work for it and pay
your dues and do all of thosethings, and I think we've been
conditioned to think that.
But I would argue in that'swhere the title of the book came
of the worthy wardrobe isyou're already worthy to show up
(24:03):
as yourself.
There's nothing wrong with you,whether you're, whatever size
you are, whatever, whatever raceyou are, whatever mistakes
you've made, you are worthy toshow up in any room and feel
good about yourself.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
I love that and I do think that that that message has
so much power, that sense ofworth.
Also, when you walk in and arecomfortable and are not
demanding, you're just you're,you're giving and getting worth.
If it, if that makes sense.
The the payback is unexpectedand appropriate.
(24:40):
You know, like you do you donot get dinged when you do this
the right way.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Love that You're right.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Well, I I hope, in addition to this conversation
about authenticity and worth, wecould talk a little bit about
your chapter, chapter 12 in thebook, called Intentional
Investing.
And for many people, when youtalk about investing, you're
like, yeah, dollars and centsinto stocks and bonds, not in my
world, but in your world.
And I're like, yeah, dollarsand cents into stocks and bonds,
(25:08):
not in my world, but in yourworld.
And I would agree there areinvestments when it comes to
style and fashion and there arecertain things that We've had
another episode kind of onsustainable fashion, which I'll
make sure to include in shownotes with Marcy Green, but
let's talk about you know kindof your style guide for what
it's worth to spend money on andwhere you could save it.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
Yes, so my background was in corporate retail and I
worked with a lot of themainstream brands.
I'm fortunate to get to workwith the companies like the Gap
and Banana Republic, so I wasnot in the devil or Prada world,
and I say that because I wantthis to be relatable to everyone
.
We all don't have unlimitedbudgets when we're shopping and
(25:51):
building a wardrobe, so I wantpeople to think about what are
the areas that I call splurging,which doesn't mean they have to
be designer or, you know, breakthe bank, but that's where you
really invest intentionally.
And then the save things werethe things that, like I,
wouldn't spend a lot of money on, and I can go spy a couple of
categories if we like to Sure.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
Sure, OK, it's in your hands.
So you give us the five minuteum kickstart to the longer
chapter.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
I would say that when I, when you're thinking about
intentional investing, I wantyou to, overall, think about the
things that are going to getthe most use the workhorses of
your wardrobe.
So, for example, I tell people,invest in quality blazers, and
(26:42):
doesn't mean black, boringblazers.
It can be a really well-made ifyou're watching this in video
an orange blazer or a pink suit.
I have back there a cobalt blue.
Invest in well-made blazers andpants.
Save on blouses and mostdresses, because those skirts
you're not going to wear asoften as a great well, great
(27:04):
pair of pants.
Pants and blazers take moremake like you need someone to
know what they're doing.
When they're making a good pairof pants or a well-made blazer,
your I love pleated skirts, thefabric isn't as good of a
quality as it needs to be.
In a good pair of pants,usually the fit isn't as
important because it's just atriangle shape, right, like.
So there are the things I thinkabout when you're thinking about
(27:26):
investing.
Think about the work coursesthat you love and that you're
going to wear multiple times andthen not spend a ton.
And by not spend a ton I reallymean like I was with a client
last week and here in Atlantathere's one of my favorite areas
has a TJ Maxx, a Nordstrom rack, a Bloomingdale's outlet and a
Saks outlet and we did herentire she's a global executive
(27:48):
HR and we did most of herwardrobe rebuilding out of those
stores and we spent money onsome beautiful tweed blazers.
We did not spend a lot of moneyon the Calvin Klein dresses
that you can get at Marshallsand TJ Maxx for like $24.99.
We bought a lot of those.
We did not spend a lot of moneyon her blouses, but we made
sure that those pants and thoseblazers were looking impeccable
(28:10):
and we also budgeted inalterations.
So even if you buy somethingthat is relatively on the cheap
side, you go get it tailored andaltered for you.
You're going to look like amillion bucks um that's a pause.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Like budgeting your alterations.
I've never heard that and thatmakes a ton of sense.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Like ton of sense, yeah like and it goes back to
thinking about your body's notthe problem.
The clothes just might not fityou well, and so if you have to
go up a size, don't let that getin your head.
Just add the extra 25, 30dollars to go get to go get it
altered and and you look waymore expensive than you normally
would.
I will also say this is one ofmy, because I used to work in
(28:48):
accessories my biggest thing foryou to invest, versus saving,
is invest in well-made shoes.
There's nothing wrong withspending 400, $500 on a pair of
pumps, like if it's a Jimmy Choopump that I would like for me.
My, my bases are nude andleopard.
I really wouldn't wear.
I wouldn't invest in a blackpump.
(29:08):
But if you wear a lot of black,go ahead.
Invest in shoes that arecomfortable on your feet, take
care of them.
I have a shoe guy that I go seeregularly to like adjust my
heel length.
All of those things.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
How do you find that guy like what is he listed under
?
Speaker 2 (29:21):
he is listed under um leather or shoe repair.
Okay, um, my guy's.
Actually.
His title of his store isclassic leather and shoe repair,
so like that is so that.
But he is.
Uh.
I've actually had him on aguest to some of my class work
because I tell women he can cutmy heels down if they're too
high.
He stretches the front of mypumps out.
He can do a lot of things witha well-made shoe, so invest in
(29:44):
quality shoes.
Do not spend a lot of money onsunglasses.
That is the biggest markup,biggest scam in the entire
retail industry industry.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
Okay, if you if you love the designer glasses, if
that is the thing that you wantto.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
I would encourage you to never pay full price.
Go to the outlets, get yourdesigner frames from there.
Because I'll tell you the story.
When I was working at Old Navy,we went into the sun.
We wanted to go to the sunglassbusiness because they had a
high markup.
All the vendors from across theworld came into our office and
they were just throwing me allthese different designer
sunglasses I won't say any namesand they make in the same
(30:24):
factory.
The high end sunglasses and theold maybe sunglasses are made
with the exact same material.
The thing that usually is onlydifferent is the name plate and
maybe the shape of the frame,maybe.
So that's my.
I will stop there and sayinvest in shoes that will last
you while and take care of yourshoes, and then don't spend a
ton of money on sunglasses.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
Do you have any tips?
When you're taking your client,maybe she's never bought the
$500 pair of shoes.
How do you figure out if it'sgoing to be a pair that you're
going to wear Like?
Is there?
Are there certain tests?
What are we doing to know thatthe two minutes of try on that,
it's really going to be?
Speaker 2 (31:02):
comfortable.
It takes longer than.
Do not rush yourself whenyou're shopping for shoes.
Do it at the end of the day.
Do not just walk on the carpetin sacks or Nordstrom.
Get on the, get on the hardfloor.
If a shoe is too big, thatcannot be fixed.
But if a shoe is too big, thatcannot be fixed.
But if a shoe is a little tight, that can be stretched.
So that's something like a shoeguy cannot make a too big shoe
(31:24):
smaller, but he can make asmaller shoe mold to your foot.
My shoe guy will also tell meand this is after you bought
them but do not wear a new pairof shoes without breaking them
in 30 minutes a day for a weekand you don't have to be walking
around, but you just have tohave them on on your foot when
you're at your desk, even on thecouch.
(31:44):
But the leather of a well-madepair of shoes will start molding
to your feet so that when youdo wear them out and I have not
listened to ryan a few times andI've paid the price for it
because I'm not heels do notcome naturally to me, so I have
to like I.
That's why Ryan and I are soclose, because he's made so many
of my high heels comfortable.
Break your shoes in.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
I've kind of given up on high heels, but would could
the shoe guy?
I'm a pair of boots that justlike I have the same pair in a
different like material andthey're fine, but the the ones I
got, they're like tight aroundthe ankle and their boots.
Could he stretch like someonelike him stretch them out?
Speaker 2 (32:21):
yes, yep, it's always worth a try.
It's always worth a try.
And one thing when you askedabout to decide what shoes to
buy, this is why, when I workwith clients, I always I
actually want to before I eventake you shopping, I want to see
what's in your closets.
We do a virtual session or cometo your home.
We start with your shoes,because and I want you to build
your outfits from the shoe up,because it's going to be a
(32:42):
factor in what's comfortable foryou what else is in your closet
.
So again, a lot of my closet,as you can see, is a lot of
color.
I don't I'm not going to wear ablack shoe with that, I'm going
to wear nude.
I might wear leopard, I mightwear snakeskin.
So, thinking about what yourneeds are in your wardrobe and
then build really some greatshoes can help make everything
else easier.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
What other accessories can elevate and are
worth spending money on?
Speaker 2 (33:07):
I would say a good watch.
I am not a fan of the technicalgadget watches for a couple of
reasons.
I think a quality watch.
I have one on that I and I paira lot of.
I think a quality watch.
I have one on that.
I and I pair a lot of.
Like, that's my thing.
Um, a quality watch, jewelryand accessories.
It doesn't have to be spendinga lot on those things, but it's
an easy way to show that you aretrending like.
(33:29):
I have a pair here.
Like this is from amazon.
These like molded sculpturaljewelry.
It's so trending right now.
Don't spend a lot of money onit, because next year we'll
probably be talking aboutsomething different and it's
very cool to play in theseexaggerated shapes with whatever
else you're wearing.
It's like the necklace you haveon most.
It looks great and you may notwant to spend a lot of money on
(33:49):
that because next year you maywant to do a longer chain, right
, but jewelry is an easy way tostand out.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
And I always know.
For me, rings and necklaces aremy thing.
I don't wear as many earrings.
I've got the headphones on thatare also like what I often have
in my Zoom meetings and they'rejust not my thing.
Neither are bracelets.
So I know what I like and youknow I might buy a pair of
earrings here or there, but Iknow I'm not.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
But you're not going to spend a lot on them.
Versus me, I will spend a tonon like a quality gold pair of
hoops because that's like that'smy thing.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Necklaces aren't necessarily my thing, but
earrings are my thing and thiswas a splurge for me on a trip
to london, because I knew, oh, Iwill wear this a hundred times
in a year, right, there you gothere you go um anything.
What about hand?
What do we think about them?
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Especially in this climate where everyone's talking
about the knockoffs and thefakes and all of those things.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
Oh yeah, the Instagrams are that Yep.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
I encourage most women to invest in a well-made
work bag.
Assuming you're going into anoffice, right?
Assuming you're going somewhere, invest in a work bag that
holds your entire life, and sothat is a bag that can fit your
computer, your lunch, yournotebook, like and because
you're not going to change thatbag out every single day and and
(35:10):
invest in something that has azipper on top that can be
traveled.
Well, all of those things likereally spend.
I've spent a lot of time likeshopping just for like perusing
and exploring what is the bestbag for my lifestyle, my
client's lifestyles.
I would, then encourage you tonot spend a ton of money on the
smaller bags, like maybe, if youhave like one great crossbody,
(35:30):
if you want to invest in adesigner that you're going to
carry on the weekends and if youhave kids, like that's a great,
you know, whatever thing not acloset full you have a client.
I don't.
I really don't think women needas many bags as we buy,
especially that middle size orlarger size, because, again, on
a monday or tuesday, you're notspending time switching out your
bag every single day.
(35:51):
You might spend, you know, onthe evenings, in the weekends.
If you have a couple differentclutches, which I love, I'm not
spending a ton of money on thembecause they are the.
I'm looking at one of my officeright here.
That's magenta pink withbedazzled on it.
I bought it from a nan republicyears ago for 20, but it's.
It's a statement, but it's notmy everyday bag.
So really investing in one ortwo, I hate when women buy these
(36:12):
small, like the shoulder bagsbecause most of us, your life
can't fit there, so you'recarrying another bag anyway, so
you might as like right, itdoesn't make sense.
Invest in things that truly,truly make sense for your
lifestyle.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Now, you've mentioned the discount stores, but are
there any other hacks that youwould suggest to you know?
Save your money for thesplurges um and for your
everyday purchases buildrelationships with um store
employees.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
I have I like.
Even there's a.
I love the saint john's.
That's one of my things some ofmy clients things.
there's some really few outletsout in the country, but the few
that I have um the out, like theoutlets for saint john's and
and Jimmy Choo I haverelationships with them.
Even if you're not a stylist,they are happy to text you
pictures and when things come inso that you're not paying full
(37:05):
price that is something thatagain my retail background you
don't have to pay full price.
Google search is also a goodoption.
If you see something you loveon Pinterest or on Instagram,
snap the image, reverse, searchit and you can see what
different options there are.
And be patient.
I think it's really easy toimpulse buy or especially if you
(37:28):
are.
I will say this if you have anevent coming up like a wedding
or a gala, do not wait until theweek of or the day of to shop
for that.
If you're shopping forChristmas presents or if you're
shopping for someone else, gointo that area where there's no
pressure, so you can buy a gooddeal on clearance and then have
(37:48):
time to alter it where you'renot pressed to buy something
full price instantly or at adesperation mode.
So take your time and and don'tbuy things impulsively or last
minute.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
I love it.
Well, thank you for theinvesting advice.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
Thank you for indulging me and getting to talk
the brass tacks of that stuff.
I love that.
Thank you, Melissa.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
And also just thank you for um for giving people
permission to show their worthin the way they present
themselves.
Thank, you, that's so powerful,can you?
I got a chance to take yourquiz.
That kind of identifies yourstyle and you like, nailed it.
I'm a classic, but also, whatwas the other identifier?
(38:31):
Romantic?
Speaker 2 (38:32):
Romantic.
Yeah, I've even got like Alittle ruffle on her sleeve,
guys.
Yes, yes.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
I was like, how did you know?
But of course you know so, butcan you share where people could
find you if they're interestedin learning more?
And also, you know where couldyou take the quiz?
Speaker 2 (38:50):
Yeah, so I keep the quiz private because I don't
want it out in the world withoutguidance.
But if you go to morganweidercom, you can learn about my
services, book a consult, calland we can talk about your goals
.
I also have a group coachingcourse that's called Style
Shopping in Seoul that I lovedoing.
You can join at any time.
We meet every Saturday morning.
(39:10):
It's a transformative group ofpowerhouse women and we go into
the nitty gritty in the deepstuff of how do you show up, how
do you we even last week I havea couple of speakers in the uh
in our group and one of themreminded me as she was getting
ready for her, her next bigkeynote.
She said I had to learn fromyou, morgan, to.
(39:31):
I wrote this down to dress in away for what the stage
demanding.
Oh, thinking about what thestage demands of your life.
And so I say that to say I lovethe power of women together and
we have conversations aboutwhat our work, that we do.
So if you go to morganweidercom, you'll learn about individual
ways of working with me, bookingme for your company to come and
(39:53):
speak, or my online course.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
That's amazing.
I love the work that you'redoing, Morgan.
I'm so appreciative that you'vebeen willing to be a guest on
the podcast.
What a special way to celebratefive years, and for everybody
out there.
If you need a little pep inyour step and to really dig deep
on who you are and how youpresent yourself, please reach
out to Morgan.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
Thank you, Melissa, for having me Congratulations on
these big milestones of 50 andfive years.
That's incredible.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
Thank you.
Thank you for listening to theWomen's Money Wisdom Podcast.
If you found value in thisepisode, the best way you can
support the podcast is toforward an episode to a friend
(40:45):
or leave a review.
Go to pearlplancom and thepodcast link to get all the
resources and links mentioned.
Welcome to the Women's Money Wisdom Podcast.
I'm Melissa Joy, a certifiedfinancial planner and the
founder of Pearl Planning.
My goal is to help youstreamline and organize your
finances, navigate big moneydecisions with confidence and be
strategic in order to grow yourwealth.
As a woman, you work hard foryour money and I'm here to help
(00:21):
you make the most of it.
Now let's get into the show.
And I'm here to help you makethe most of it.
Now let's get into the show.
Just a quick note before wedive in.
The information that we shareis meant to educate and inspire,
not serve as personalizedfinancial advice.
Everyone's situation is unique,so be sure to consult with your
own financial professional forguidance that fits your life.
And just so you know, theopinions shared in this podcast
(00:44):
are my own and those of myguests, and they don't
necessarily represent those ofany organizations that I'm
affiliated with.
For more important disclosures,please go to our webpage at
pearlplancom.
Now let's get started.
Welcome back to the Women'sMoney Wisdom Podcast.
We've got a special episodetoday.
(01:04):
I don't know that you guys knowthis because it just snuck up
on me, but it is the fifthanniversary this month, this
week, of the launch of thepodcast.
Also, I turned 50 years oldyesterday as of the publication
of this podcast, so I'm going tocall this a birthday episode.
I think it's a gift to all ofus.
I have a rock star guest,morgan Weider.
(01:27):
She is a coach and expert onexecutive presence.
She's the founder of WeiderStyle and she transforms how
leaders show up at work.
Morgan is also the author ofthe Worthy Wardrobe your Guide
to Style, shopping and Soul, andI think you're going to be
blown away by this episode,morgan.
(01:49):
Welcome to the podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Thank you and happy birthday and happy anniversary,
Melissa.
I'm so honored.
I know what some greatmilestones.
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Lots of fives in there I thought about that.
Yeah, when we talked aboutdoing an episode and I wanted to
save something special for thisparticular week, I just felt
like what we're going to talkabout today is about so much
more than fashion and style.
It's about your identity, it'sabout your space in the world.
(02:20):
It's about who you want to beand how you can feel comfortable
in your own skin, and I don'tknow that really matters to me.
It's made a difference for meas I've embraced my authentic
self and I hope for ourlisteners they feel permission
to explore this topic more.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
I'm so excited to go deep with you and thank you
again for having me and creatingthis space for us to have this
real conversation.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Well, first of all, let's talk about what you do,
because you're sitting with thebest background we've ever had
on the podcast.
Thank you, look at that closet.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
This is my office closet, meditation room,
dressing room.
Yes, it is my she shed that Ilove to come in here and get
inspired, just myself, and haveconversations with people.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Well, you help people represent themselves.
Tell me a little bit about whatyou do and what inspired you to
do the work you do.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Sure, so the technical title that I've
created for myself.
As an executive stylist, I likeworking with professionals on
essentially, Melissa, how do youtake the inside of you and
accurately reflect it on theoutside with your wardrobe, your
hair and how you presentyourself?
I'm so fortunate that I'vegotten to do this work with
(03:39):
women and men of all differentprofessional levels.
I've gotten to speak at alldifferent types of companies and
colleges, all with the goal ofshowing up as your most
authentic self.
Like this is absolutely deeperthan clothing.
It is really about how you canfeel your best, no matter what
the occasion, no matter whatroom you're walking into.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Well, I think about my personal history.
I still remember clothes that Iwore as a child.
I remember certain days wearingcertain things that made me
feel good and represented myself.
I loved to shop as a child andI feel like earlier in my career
, especially because, likesignaling tells you when you're
(04:20):
younger, used to you kind ofneed to like.
Well, I work in the financialfield with a lot of what I would
call penguins Think of likeblack and Navy suits and you
need to be a penguin to beappreciated or rewarded, and I
spent a lot of the last five or10 years trying to figure out
(04:42):
how to more authentically be whoI am.
Some of that comes permissionwith age, I'd say, speaking of
milestone birthdays, but also Ithink that I feel more able to
be successful and able totelegraph and represent what me
and the work that my company,pro planning, does, when we can
(05:05):
more, just be more real.
Um, and you describe some ofthose same journeys in your book
, which I just.
This book is, like you said.
People say it's really readableand that, like, is a huge
compliment.
I really love it.
It's just got great ideas and alot packed into a little, a
little volume.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
So melissa, you said so much there and, um, one of
the things that I think aboutfor myself and a lot of the
women I've worked with in theprofessional spaces, is
something that I've called thehero's journey, and it is often
where, uh, we have been told atthe beginning of our careers
that the only way to succeed isto look like everyone else.
(05:45):
Play, play the game, play therules.
And I want to tell you a quickstory about a woman that I often
talk about, and she was a whenshe was in college at a
historically black university,florida A&M.
She was in engineering, and herrefrigeration engineering, to
be specific, and her professorsaid in order to be successful,
(06:05):
when you go out into theworkplace, you're going to be
the only woman and only personof color, so you need to look
and act and dress like as muchlike your white male
counterparts as possible.
And she, being the good studentthat she was, she did that.
She slowly moved up the ranksto middle manager and she wore
this uniform of blue shirts,black pants, and then, when she
got to middle manager role, formof blue shirts, black pants.
(06:25):
And then, when she got to middlemanager role, she started
getting invited to socialparties.
And she told me in thisinterview when I was writing my
book.
She said this is when I startedto wear my real clothes.
I'm like, what do you mean?
Like, what are your realclothes?
And she says I love brightcolors, I wear these gold high
heels, I have my hair naturaland when I go to these parties
everyone would say, oh my gosh,you're so funny.
I had no idea you're so funny.
And it clicked for her that whenshe was wearing her that
uniform of playing small, shewasn't being herself and they
(06:48):
actually liked her more when shewas her most authentic self in
the clothes that she loved.
And actually she said that aftera few months of doing these
social events, her newfoundmentor told her an old white guy
when she was getting up for herperformance review come as
yourself.
We now know who you really areand we can take you as you
really are, because before wethought you were hiding and
(07:09):
lying to us and it was almostlike this shift for her of like.
As much as I wanted to get intothe good old boys club and I
thought I had to act like a goodold boy, the good old boys knew
that I wasn't a good old boy,so why would they trust me if
I'm trying to play like them?
And when I finally becamemyself, that is when I reached
the top and that's, I think, forso many of us.
(07:29):
Waiting until we have thatmeasure of success to be
ourselves is so detrimental toour psyche, our confidence, and
it sends a bad message to thosewomen who are coming after us
that they have to do the samething.
So I'm always about how can yoube authentic and be appropriate
from the start of your career,or as soon as possible, like
today, today and not waste timewaiting until this mythical
(07:51):
successful point to be yourself.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Oh, that's so interesting Because I think
about her.
What if she did kind of get theinvitation into the room
without her true self beingrepresented?
How restricting anduncomfortable would that be for
her day in, day out?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Absolutely, and so many, a lot of women leave those
environments like finance andengineering because they feel
like they can't be themselves.
And even in your case of beinglike the penguin doesn't help
you stand out and build yourbusiness Like it's actually like
.
If you look like everyone else,no one is going to notice you.
So it's.
(08:30):
It is this ironic lie thatwe've been told of success comes
from blending in and playingsmall.
But as a business owner and asa professional, your goal is to
get noticed.
It is to build a brand thatstands out from everybody else.
How can you do that if you'renot being yourself and how you
dress and show up?
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Well, I've learned these lessons in real life.
So I, just when I got to thepoint where I started pro
planning six years ago you knowI've been around the block I,
even when you're saying, playthe game.
I remember early in my careerthe survivor was newer on the
CBS show and I was, like, youknow, kind of the business.
(09:09):
Your career is kind of like agame of survivor.
You've got to be tactical,you've got to be, like you know,
really competitive and you knowthat's a tough place to be
where you feel like work is acompetition versus someplace
where you can be rewarded foryour contribution.
And so when I started thecompany we, you know, I was just
(09:31):
like we're going to be me.
I know I can go get a job if Ineed to like conform, but we,
you know, we're going to trythis out in a way that feels
much more authentic andcomfortable from, you know,
having an office five minutesaway from my house.
That wasn't in like the citycenter.
You know, if you look at ourwebsite, we're an all-female
team and people often are like,oh well, that it's so great that
(09:54):
you're working with only womenclients.
It's like what part of beingfemale employees means that we
are excluding men from beingclientele.
We love the men that we workwith and, you know, one time I
had a client when I opened thenew office who came in and I was
wearing jeans and he was like,oh, I see, we've changed the
dress code around here.
And I was like, you know, I'vebeen around the block and it's
(10:16):
just fine to do business injeans when you're in the
environment.
We're in and still doing greatwork, and so most people that
fit in and some people that feltawkward and that's just okay.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
That is, and you wearing jeans and maybe meeting
your client where you are.
I remember I was speaking to acollege group, a group of
college students, and one feltthe need to say well, maybe you
know, I'm going into finance.
I feel like I need to, like,cover my tattoos and I'm like
that's a choice that you canmake, but you, being a tattooed
financial planner, might helpyou have a niche in a business
(10:49):
and attract people who may havea lot of tattoos, who thought
that financial planning wasn'tfor them, and so, like the idea
of using your wardrobe, like inyour case, melissa, we've talked
about how you were bright pink,right in your headshot, like
and and and, and owning who youare helps you attract the people
that may never have found youbecause you are blending in with
the penguins well and I alwaystell people you need to be
(11:12):
comfortable with your financialplanner.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
You don't always have to have a good hair day to work
with them.
Like you need to come to themwith your problems and if you
feel like they're not real orbeing real with you.
How do you get real with themwhen the reality is something
that might be a little messy?
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Vulnerability and authenticity.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
I love that, oh yes, such a big deal and it works.
In exchange, you can't justexpect people to be vulnerable
with you if you're invulnerable,impenetrable, like up on, you
know, up on the mountaintop, andnot relatable even to yourself.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Even to yourself, even to and I often say your
wardrobe choices are bigger thanyou, the people below you, the
people on your team, yourdaughters, your sons.
They are paying attention tohow you dress, how you show up
for yourself, how youcommunicate.
I would say your worth to theworld and the choices that you
are getting dressed and thechoices that you make when you
(12:08):
step into the closet.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Well, if our listeners are still here and
enthusiastic so far, but theyfeel like they may need some
work to do to be a little moreauthentic, I mean, this is what
you do.
This is why people come to you.
Where do we start?
I mean, tell me more about howyou uncover someone's true self
(12:31):
and incorporate that into theirstyle.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
I am so fortunate that people trust me with this
process because it can get alittle.
It's intimate.
One of my core values isintimacy, like I love back to
that vulnerability andauthenticity part.
It is a chance for us to reallyhave honest conversations about
their life.
How do they want to show up inthe world?
And then, what does theiraudience need from them?
Because it's one thing to be sotrue to you that you're not
(13:09):
meeting what your audience needs, and by audience it could be
your clients, it could be yourteam.
If your business, all of thosethings and then we talk about
okay, like in the case ofMelissa, melissa is a classic,
her style profile is a two andher clients probably.
They want to feel safe andsecure and have a fundamental
trust aspect of I'm giving you alot of money to manage.
(13:30):
How can we communicate that inher wardrobe in a way that
signifies that this is theperson to come to you for those
things.
So, once we get clear on yourstyle and what do you want to be
known for, your body type andmaybe challenges that are
happening, and it could be postbabyivorce, perimenopause I've
worked with men who arepost-divorce and going back out
(13:51):
on the dating apps, like all ofthose things, like all the
things that can impact your life.
And then, how do we create acloset and an image that you
feel good in for the person youare right now, not who you were
five years ago, 20 pounds ago, ajob ago, or the job you want to
have, but right now, like howcan we really?
Speaker 1 (14:09):
lean into who you are .
Wow, there's there's so muchpacked in that, First of all,
you need to be cognizant of whoyou are and how you're changing,
which I think is very I mean,there's so much vulnerability
there.
There's so much honesty thatyou need with yourself.
There's so much, you know,detachment you need from the
shoulds of everybody elseexpects me to be this size.
(14:31):
All my friends are on Ozempic.
What do I do about, you know,going into this?
What do I wear to this event tofeel myself?
So many different things tothink about.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
Yes, the shooting is the thing that gets so many of
us caught up.
It's actually why, in mysessions, I don't want to sound
like a dictator per se, but Ireally don't let anyone else in
my client's life join us in oursessions, because other people,
(15:04):
some people can have a vestedinterest in you not changing and
you not right, like and so.
So if it could be your spouse oryour partner or your sister or
your mother, um, even yourdaughter, like I've had
sometimes, like I have to tellwhen I'm in a closet like, hey,
like your teenage daughter, shemay want you to get rid of those
clothes for her own selfishreasons.
Right, like, how to think aboutthese things.
(15:26):
But this is really a personaljourney and we can't dress for
everyone else.
And I know I talked aboutwhat's authentic and appropriate
for the audience, but it's alsobalancing what's authentic and
excitable for you, and so whenyou have all of these other
voices in your head and peoplewho may not want you to change,
(15:47):
they may not want you to investin yourself, that can be very,
very limiting.
So again, it's your job tofilter out the noise and I just
get to be a guide to help youfind the things that make you
feel good about yourself.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Wow, that is so powerful.
I think about other examples,like it's not just how you
present yourself in career, butdo you feel comfortable being
who you are or how you want topresent yourself Like?
Is there a uniform in townwhere you can't go over or under
?
You know level of pull togetherand things like that, when it's
(16:22):
nights and weekends and stufflike that.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
One of my best friends tells me this ABC always
be closing.
If you are a professional, ifyou are a business owner, you
never know when your nextopportunity could come from
right.
And so I'm not saying thateveryone needs to be fully
dressed up in high heels andfull glam at a grocery store,
but I remember when I was single, living in San Francisco and
(16:48):
San Francisco is inherentlycasual, right and in my job I
was working head quarters of thegap so I pretty much, and I
wasn't confident in who I was,so I would pretty much wear
baggy jeans and a white t-shirtevery day and I was going out
with one of my girlfriends and Iwas like, oh, I'll just wear
like my normal uniform.
She says you never know whenyou might meet your destiny.
And that changed how I viewedgetting dressed, because I never
, you never know what couldhappen when you walk out the
(17:10):
door.
And, yes, clothes are to helpsignify other people to come and
talk to you and attract you,but it also signifies how I felt
about myself, and the better Ifelt, the more confidence I
radiated and the more the betterthings that I attract.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Well, I think this all goes.
I feel like we're at a momentin time maybe it's just
generationally for Gen X andmillennial women, who are many
of our listeners where I wantyou, whether it's your work on
financial planning, your work onyour sense of style, which is
inherently your sense of self,at least for many of us If you
(17:45):
just say I don't care about that, it doesn't matter, hey, I'm
here for you and that's greatand that's a representation of
yourself as well.
But I feel like in a day andage where things feel uncertain,
things feel challenging, youmay feel threatened based on
your essence of identity, orjust all those shoulds of you
(18:07):
should be here by now.
This is where you should, whatyour career should look like why
doesn't your family look likethis or that when there is so
much power in knowing who youare whether it's what matters to
you financially or how you, howyou are comfortable, you know
(18:27):
kind of packaging yourself thatmakes a difference, because
that's something you can control.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Absolutely, absolutely.
You would not be crazy rightnow, in the times that we're
living in, to choose to opt out,to go into hiding, to keep your
head down, to play it safe.
That is a perfectlyunderstandable, natural reaction
to, essentially, theuncertainty that we are living
(18:55):
in right now.
I would encourage and I'mtalking to you, listeners, and
you, melissa's, I'm talking tomyself of the power of showing
up for yourself and, in my case,getting dressed each day is,
like you mentioned, the thingthat I can control.
It motivates me to keep goingand keep working and and and
(19:16):
keep, and not all hope is lost.
Um, I think that it is for me assimple as and I work out of
this office that I'm in rightnow, most days, it is as simple
as getting taking a shower andchanging out of my pajamas to
actually even like my worksweatpants, like even that
(19:38):
somebody you know, like I havemy cute work sweats, like the
little sets that I buy that Ifeel good in, and even that is a
signal of it's work time.
It's go time, it's you can't.
I don't get to wallow inuncertainty and pity in my work
pants.
You know, like I can do that inmy pajamas, but I can't do that
in work clothes, and thatseparation of mindset is
(20:00):
something that is.
It's powerful for me and Ithink that it's important for
all of us whether we're talkingabout in your emotions and how
you feel, but also again in thespaces that we are in to be the
change we want to see, to showup as your best self, to inspire
other people to do that In thecase of all of the different
(20:23):
initiatives that we've used tohave in place that encourage
diversity and inclusion andstanding out, and if those
fundamental structures go away,you being your authentic self is
still part of changing the tideand changing the narrative.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
Yes, I mean representing yourself in any
room that you walk in.
This will be out in the world,both on audio and YouTube.
Like that is to me, it'shonoring our forebears who, for
us, women who really spoke outand asked for more, asked for a
(21:02):
different pathway.
So yeah, Totally.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
When I was writing my book, I interviewed over 70
women, and one woman who Iinterviewed I met previously
when I did some work withMercedes-Benz and she was
telling me that in the carindustry this was when she first
started out.
She was telling me that all ofus women wore.
She said we would get, we'd goget to Brooks Brothers and get
the little like the sometimesthe boy version of the men's
(21:31):
suits.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Yeah, the tailored, yep, yeah the tailored suits
right.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
And I said to her I'll never forget this.
I was like, well, what did thewomen in leadership wear?
Like why were you alwayswearing men's suits?
And she said, morgan, therewere no women in leadership,
(22:11):
no-transcript.
When she started off in hercareer.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Well, if we have time for a brief anecdote, I can
remember in the early 2000s Iwas much younger but I had
really great connections withsome powerhouse trailblazers
financial advice, femalefinancial advisors.
We would attend a conferenceevery year and I looked back and
said there's never been afemale keynote in this
(22:42):
conference I've attended.
I've been there more than 10years and, morgan, you're one of
those people nowadays rightthat you're getting up and
speaking at those types ofevents.
But I got together with otherpeople who cared about this and
two of us approached theexecutive who kind of organized
the conference and he said well,we've tried, there just aren't
(23:05):
any.
And when we really like laiddown the challenge of like, no,
seriously, like that can't bethe case.
You know it.
It took that ask and thatwasn't, that wasn't DEI, that
was just like common sense andlike personal appeal, Right?
And so I do think that thatpower to ask for more to take up
(23:30):
space in the room and that'sjust.
You know, that is your personalprivilege, for the power and
what you've earned for our rockstar listeners.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
Yes, it is what you've earned, but it's, I would
argue, what you inherently earn, or what you're worthy of.
I think earning is equated toyou have to work for it and pay
your dues and do all of thosethings, and I think we've been
conditioned to think that.
But I would argue in that'swhere the title of the book came
of the worthy wardrobe isyou're already worthy to show up
(24:03):
as yourself.
There's nothing wrong with you,whether you're, whatever size
you are, whatever, whatever raceyou are, whatever mistakes
you've made, you are worthy toshow up in any room and feel
good about yourself.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
I love that and I do think that that that message has
so much power, that sense ofworth.
Also, when you walk in and arecomfortable and are not
demanding, you're just you're,you're giving and getting worth.
If it, if that makes sense.
The the payback is unexpectedand appropriate.
(24:40):
You know, like you do you donot get dinged when you do this
the right way.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Love that You're right.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Well, I I hope, in addition to this conversation
about authenticity and worth, wecould talk a little bit about
your chapter, chapter 12 in thebook, called Intentional
Investing.
And for many people, when youtalk about investing, you're
like, yeah, dollars and centsinto stocks and bonds, not in my
world, but in your world.
And I're like, yeah, dollarsand cents into stocks and bonds,
(25:08):
not in my world, but in yourworld.
And I would agree there areinvestments when it comes to
style and fashion and there arecertain things that We've had
another episode kind of onsustainable fashion, which I'll
make sure to include in shownotes with Marcy Green, but
let's talk about you know kindof your style guide for what
it's worth to spend money on andwhere you could save it.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
Yes, so my background was in corporate retail and I
worked with a lot of themainstream brands.
I'm fortunate to get to workwith the companies like the Gap
and Banana Republic, so I wasnot in the devil or Prada world,
and I say that because I wantthis to be relatable to everyone
.
We all don't have unlimitedbudgets when we're shopping and
(25:51):
building a wardrobe, so I wantpeople to think about what are
the areas that I call splurging,which doesn't mean they have to
be designer or, you know, breakthe bank, but that's where you
really invest intentionally.
And then the save things werethe things that, like I,
wouldn't spend a lot of money on, and I can go spy a couple of
categories if we like to Sure.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
Sure, OK, it's in your hands.
So you give us the five minuteum kickstart to the longer
chapter.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
I would say that when I, when you're thinking about
intentional investing, I wantyou to, overall, think about the
things that are going to getthe most use the workhorses of
your wardrobe.
So, for example, I tell people,invest in quality blazers, and
(26:42):
doesn't mean black, boringblazers.
It can be a really well-made ifyou're watching this in video
an orange blazer or a pink suit.
I have back there a cobalt blue.
Invest in well-made blazers andpants.
Save on blouses and mostdresses, because those skirts
you're not going to wear asoften as a great well, great
(27:04):
pair of pants.
Pants and blazers take moremake like you need someone to
know what they're doing.
When they're making a good pairof pants or a well-made blazer,
your I love pleated skirts, thefabric isn't as good of a
quality as it needs to be.
In a good pair of pants,usually the fit isn't as
important because it's just atriangle shape, right, like.
So there are the things I thinkabout when you're thinking about
(27:26):
investing.
Think about the work coursesthat you love and that you're
going to wear multiple times andthen not spend a ton.
And by not spend a ton I reallymean like I was with a client
last week and here in Atlantathere's one of my favorite areas
has a TJ Maxx, a Nordstrom rack, a Bloomingdale's outlet and a
Saks outlet and we did herentire she's a global executive
(27:48):
HR and we did most of herwardrobe rebuilding out of those
stores and we spent money onsome beautiful tweed blazers.
We did not spend a lot of moneyon the Calvin Klein dresses
that you can get at Marshallsand TJ Maxx for like $24.99.
We bought a lot of those.
We did not spend a lot of moneyon her blouses, but we made
sure that those pants and thoseblazers were looking impeccable
(28:10):
and we also budgeted inalterations.
So even if you buy somethingthat is relatively on the cheap
side, you go get it tailored andaltered for you.
You're going to look like amillion bucks um that's a pause.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Like budgeting your alterations.
I've never heard that and thatmakes a ton of sense.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Like ton of sense, yeah like and it goes back to
thinking about your body's notthe problem.
The clothes just might not fityou well, and so if you have to
go up a size, don't let that getin your head.
Just add the extra 25, 30dollars to go get to go get it
altered and and you look waymore expensive than you normally
would.
I will also say this is one ofmy, because I used to work in
(28:48):
accessories my biggest thing foryou to invest, versus saving,
is invest in well-made shoes.
There's nothing wrong withspending 400, $500 on a pair of
pumps, like if it's a Jimmy Choopump that I would like for me.
My, my bases are nude andleopard.
I really wouldn't wear.
I wouldn't invest in a blackpump.
(29:08):
But if you wear a lot of black,go ahead.
Invest in shoes that arecomfortable on your feet, take
care of them.
I have a shoe guy that I go seeregularly to like adjust my
heel length.
All of those things.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
How do you find that guy like what is he listed under
?
Speaker 2 (29:21):
he is listed under um leather or shoe repair.
Okay, um, my guy's.
Actually.
His title of his store isclassic leather and shoe repair,
so like that is so that.
But he is.
Uh.
I've actually had him on aguest to some of my class work
because I tell women he can cutmy heels down if they're too
high.
He stretches the front of mypumps out.
He can do a lot of things witha well-made shoe, so invest in
(29:44):
quality shoes.
Do not spend a lot of money onsunglasses.
That is the biggest markup,biggest scam in the entire
retail industry industry.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
Okay, if you if you love the designer glasses, if
that is the thing that you wantto.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
I would encourage you to never pay full price.
Go to the outlets, get yourdesigner frames from there.
Because I'll tell you the story.
When I was working at Old Navy,we went into the sun.
We wanted to go to the sunglassbusiness because they had a
high markup.
All the vendors from across theworld came into our office and
they were just throwing me allthese different designer
sunglasses I won't say any namesand they make in the same
(30:24):
factory.
The high end sunglasses and theold maybe sunglasses are made
with the exact same material.
The thing that usually is onlydifferent is the name plate and
maybe the shape of the frame,maybe.
So that's my.
I will stop there and sayinvest in shoes that will last
you while and take care of yourshoes, and then don't spend a
ton of money on sunglasses.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
Do you have any tips?
When you're taking your client,maybe she's never bought the
$500 pair of shoes.
How do you figure out if it'sgoing to be a pair that you're
going to wear Like?
Is there?
Are there certain tests?
What are we doing to know thatthe two minutes of try on that,
it's really going to be?
Speaker 2 (31:02):
comfortable.
It takes longer than.
Do not rush yourself whenyou're shopping for shoes.
Do it at the end of the day.
Do not just walk on the carpetin sacks or Nordstrom.
Get on the, get on the hardfloor.
If a shoe is too big, thatcannot be fixed.
But if a shoe is too big, thatcannot be fixed.
But if a shoe is a little tight, that can be stretched.
So that's something like a shoeguy cannot make a too big shoe
(31:24):
smaller, but he can make asmaller shoe mold to your foot.
My shoe guy will also tell meand this is after you bought
them but do not wear a new pairof shoes without breaking them
in 30 minutes a day for a weekand you don't have to be walking
around, but you just have tohave them on on your foot when
you're at your desk, even on thecouch.
(31:44):
But the leather of a well-madepair of shoes will start molding
to your feet so that when youdo wear them out and I have not
listened to ryan a few times andI've paid the price for it
because I'm not heels do notcome naturally to me, so I have
to like I.
That's why Ryan and I are soclose, because he's made so many
of my high heels comfortable.
Break your shoes in.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
I've kind of given up on high heels, but would could
the shoe guy?
I'm a pair of boots that justlike I have the same pair in a
different like material andthey're fine, but the the ones I
got, they're like tight aroundthe ankle and their boots.
Could he stretch like someonelike him stretch them out?
Speaker 2 (32:21):
yes, yep, it's always worth a try.
It's always worth a try.
And one thing when you askedabout to decide what shoes to
buy, this is why, when I workwith clients, I always I
actually want to before I eventake you shopping, I want to see
what's in your closets.
We do a virtual session or cometo your home.
We start with your shoes,because and I want you to build
your outfits from the shoe up,because it's going to be a
(32:42):
factor in what's comfortable foryou what else is in your closet
.
So again, a lot of my closet,as you can see, is a lot of
color.
I don't I'm not going to wear ablack shoe with that, I'm going
to wear nude.
I might wear leopard, I mightwear snakeskin.
So, thinking about what yourneeds are in your wardrobe and
then build really some greatshoes can help make everything
else easier.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
What other accessories can elevate and are
worth spending money on?
Speaker 2 (33:07):
I would say a good watch.
I am not a fan of the technicalgadget watches for a couple of
reasons.
I think a quality watch.
I have one on that I and I paira lot of.
I think a quality watch.
I have one on that.
I and I pair a lot of.
Like, that's my thing.
Um, a quality watch, jewelryand accessories.
It doesn't have to be spendinga lot on those things, but it's
an easy way to show that you aretrending like.
(33:29):
I have a pair here.
Like this is from amazon.
These like molded sculpturaljewelry.
It's so trending right now.
Don't spend a lot of money onit, because next year we'll
probably be talking aboutsomething different and it's
very cool to play in theseexaggerated shapes with whatever
else you're wearing.
It's like the necklace you haveon most.
It looks great and you may notwant to spend a lot of money on
(33:49):
that because next year you maywant to do a longer chain, right
, but jewelry is an easy way tostand out.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
And I always know.
For me, rings and necklaces aremy thing.
I don't wear as many earrings.
I've got the headphones on thatare also like what I often have
in my Zoom meetings and they'rejust not my thing.
Neither are bracelets.
So I know what I like and youknow I might buy a pair of
earrings here or there, but Iknow I'm not.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
But you're not going to spend a lot on them.
Versus me, I will spend a tonon like a quality gold pair of
hoops because that's like that'smy thing.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Necklaces aren't necessarily my thing, but
earrings are my thing and thiswas a splurge for me on a trip
to london, because I knew, oh, Iwill wear this a hundred times
in a year, right, there you gothere you go um anything.
What about hand?
What do we think about them?
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Especially in this climate where everyone's talking
about the knockoffs and thefakes and all of those things.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
Oh yeah, the Instagrams are that Yep.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
I encourage most women to invest in a well-made
work bag.
Assuming you're going into anoffice, right?
Assuming you're going somewhere, invest in a work bag that
holds your entire life, and sothat is a bag that can fit your
computer, your lunch, yournotebook, like and because
you're not going to change thatbag out every single day and and
(35:10):
invest in something that has azipper on top that can be
traveled.
Well, all of those things likereally spend.
I've spent a lot of time likeshopping just for like perusing
and exploring what is the bestbag for my lifestyle, my
client's lifestyles.
I would, then encourage you tonot spend a ton of money on the
smaller bags, like maybe, if youhave like one great crossbody,
(35:30):
if you want to invest in adesigner that you're going to
carry on the weekends and if youhave kids, like that's a great,
you know, whatever thing not acloset full you have a client.
I don't.
I really don't think women needas many bags as we buy,
especially that middle size orlarger size, because, again, on
a monday or tuesday, you're notspending time switching out your
bag every single day.
(35:51):
You might spend, you know, onthe evenings, in the weekends.
If you have a couple differentclutches, which I love, I'm not
spending a ton of money on thembecause they are the.
I'm looking at one of my officeright here.
That's magenta pink withbedazzled on it.
I bought it from a nan republicyears ago for 20, but it's.
It's a statement, but it's notmy everyday bag.
So really investing in one ortwo, I hate when women buy these
(36:12):
small, like the shoulder bagsbecause most of us, your life
can't fit there, so you'recarrying another bag anyway, so
you might as like right, itdoesn't make sense.
Invest in things that truly,truly make sense for your
lifestyle.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Now, you've mentioned the discount stores, but are
there any other hacks that youwould suggest to you know?
Save your money for thesplurges um and for your
everyday purchases buildrelationships with um store
employees.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
I have I like.
Even there's a.
I love the saint john's.
That's one of my things some ofmy clients things.
there's some really few outletsout in the country, but the few
that I have um the out, like theoutlets for saint john's and
and Jimmy Choo I haverelationships with them.
Even if you're not a stylist,they are happy to text you
pictures and when things come inso that you're not paying full
(37:05):
price that is something thatagain my retail background you
don't have to pay full price.
Google search is also a goodoption.
If you see something you loveon Pinterest or on Instagram,
snap the image, reverse, searchit and you can see what
different options there are.
And be patient.
I think it's really easy toimpulse buy or especially if you
(37:28):
are.
I will say this if you have anevent coming up like a wedding
or a gala, do not wait until theweek of or the day of to shop
for that.
If you're shopping forChristmas presents or if you're
shopping for someone else, gointo that area where there's no
pressure, so you can buy a gooddeal on clearance and then have
(37:48):
time to alter it where you'renot pressed to buy something
full price instantly or at adesperation mode.
So take your time and and don'tbuy things impulsively or last
minute.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
I love it.
Well, thank you for theinvesting advice.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
Thank you for indulging me and getting to talk
the brass tacks of that stuff.
I love that.
Thank you, Melissa.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
And also just thank you for um for giving people
permission to show their worthin the way they present
themselves.
Thank, you, that's so powerful,can you?
I got a chance to take yourquiz.
That kind of identifies yourstyle and you like, nailed it.
I'm a classic, but also, whatwas the other identifier?
(38:31):
Romantic?
Speaker 2 (38:32):
Romantic.
Yeah, I've even got like Alittle ruffle on her sleeve,
guys.
Yes, yes.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
I was like, how did you know?
But of course you know so, butcan you share where people could
find you if they're interestedin learning more?
And also, you know where couldyou take the quiz?
Speaker 2 (38:50):
Yeah, so I keep the quiz private because I don't
want it out in the world withoutguidance.
But if you go to morganweidercom, you can learn about my
services, book a consult, calland we can talk about your goals
.
I also have a group coachingcourse that's called Style
Shopping in Seoul that I lovedoing.
You can join at any time.
We meet every Saturday morning.
(39:10):
It's a transformative group ofpowerhouse women and we go into
the nitty gritty in the deepstuff of how do you show up, how
do you we even last week I havea couple of speakers in the uh
in our group and one of themreminded me as she was getting
ready for her, her next bigkeynote.
She said I had to learn fromyou, morgan, to.
(39:31):
I wrote this down to dress in away for what the stage
demanding.
Oh, thinking about what thestage demands of your life.
And so I say that to say I lovethe power of women together and
we have conversations aboutwhat our work, that we do.
So if you go to morganweidercom, you'll learn about individual
ways of working with me, bookingme for your company to come and
(39:53):
speak, or my online course.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
That's amazing.
I love the work that you'redoing, Morgan.
I'm so appreciative that you'vebeen willing to be a guest on
the podcast.
What a special way to celebratefive years, and for everybody
out there.
If you need a little pep inyour step and to really dig deep
on who you are and how youpresent yourself, please reach
out to Morgan.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
Thank you, Melissa, for having me Congratulations on
these big milestones of 50 andfive years.
That's incredible.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
Thank you.
Thank you for listening to theWomen's Money Wisdom Podcast.
If you found value in thisepisode, the best way you can
support the podcast is toforward an episode to a friend
(40:45):
or leave a review.
Go to pearlplancom and thepodcast link to get all the
resources and links mentioned.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Special Summer Offer: Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, try our Dateline Premium subscription completely free for one month! With Dateline Premium, you get every episode ad-free plus exclusive bonus content.