20: The Power of a Gratitude Practice

Episode Overview:
I have had many clients ask me what having a gratitude practice means and wonder why it is helpful. In this episode I am going to break down what a gratitude practice isn’t, what a gratitude practice is, why it is important (spoiler alert…it can help you literally rewire your brain), and then I walk you through a step-by-step process for how to get started with your own gratitude practice. 

What I Cover:

• What a gratitude practice is not (toxic positivity, pretending things are good when they are not, pretending you are happy when you are sad, etc.)

• What a gratitude practice is.

• Negativity bias and how gratitude help to counter this.

• How gratitude can change the lens on your brain and help it filter in more positive things.

• Step-by-step process for starting a gratitude practice.

Let's Take Some Action:

Identify where you will write down what you are grateful for. I highly recommend using pen and paper but if you strongly prefer, you can create a document online or use the notes app on your phone.

If possible, identify a time of the day and specific location where you can sit undistracted for a few minutes each day. Many people find that first thing in the morning right before bed works. If this is new to you, you could even set a reminder on your phone until it becomes ingrained as a habit. 

Sit down undistracted and ask yourself, “What is one thing from the last 24 hours that I am grateful for?” This is not about checking a box to say you did your gratitude practice. When you do this you will want to take a moment to pause and reflect and notice how you feel. This is what will start to change the wiring of your brain. 

You've got this!

Useful Resources:

Do you worry too much, overthink, assume the worst-case scenarios, spend a lot of time focusing on negative things that have happened, or discredit positive things happening? If so, you are dealing with the human brain we have all been given and you are not alone.

The good news is, you can change this and it may not take as long as you may think! If you want a free resource that will help you examine your thinking patterns, and change those that are not serving you, grab my 5 Common Thought Distortions Guide HERE.

Let’s stay in touch:

Website: www.KarenVincentSolutions.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karenvincentsolutions/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KarenVincentSolutions

Twitter: https://twitter.com/KarenVCoach

Episode Transcript

Karen (00:02):
Welcome to the Women's Success Coach Podcast.
A podcast created to inspiregrowth and to help you learn,
achieve, and evolve in your lifeongoing regardless of your age.
I'm your host, certified coach,and licensed therapist Karen
Vincent, and I'm here to guideyou and provide you with
concrete tips and strategies youcan implement in your life.
I'm also here to inspire you,challenge you, and cheer you on

(00:26):
so that you can create the lifeof your dreams and beyond.
In today's Shorty podcastepisode, I'm talking about
gratitude, which can feel like abuzzword at times.
I've had many clients ask mewhat having a gratitude practice
means and wonder why it's evenhelpful for them.

(00:49):
In this episode, I'm going tobreak down what it isn't, what
it is, why it's important, andI'm gonna give you a little
spoil alert here(it can actuallyhelp you literally rewire your
brain), and then I'll walk youthrough a step-by-step process
for how to get started with yourown gratitude practice.

(01:11):
So let's get to it.
Well, hello my friend.
Since I'm talking aboutgratitude in this episode of the
Women's Success Coach Podcast, Iwant to let you know that I'm
grateful that you're herelistening to my podcast.
It really means a lot to me, andI work hard to make sure I give

(01:33):
you valuable information andactionable items in each and
every episode.
If you do like what you hear,please hit the subscribe button
so that you're notified eachweek when a new episode is
released.
Okay, now let's just get to allthings gratitude.
Now, I think sometimes there'ssome confusion about what the

(01:54):
purpose of a gratitude practiceis or even how to do it.
Let me start by telling you whatit's not.
It's not toxic positivity.
It's not about pretendingsomething's fine when it's truly
not, and it's not aboutpretending you're happy when
you're feeling sad, angry, orfrustrated, and it's not about

(02:14):
pretending you like somethingthat someone said or did when
you don't.
So if it's not all those things,well, what the heck is it?
In my opinion, practicinggratitude is a way of not
allowing your mind and defaultthinking patterns to get the
best of you.
Your brain, my brain, all of ourbrains are wired with a

(02:37):
negativity bias.
This means that your brain willalways search for negative
things or potential danger,before it will look for and hold
onto good things.
And because you only have somuch storage capacity in your
brain, your brain has to pickand choose what it hangs onto

(02:59):
and what it allows to pass onby.
So with this negativity bias, ifunguided and unchecked, your
brain will focus on what's notgoing well, what it thinks you
don't like, and on the thingsthat result in negative
feelings.
So this is where a gratitudepractice comes in.

(03:20):
Even on the most stressful,hard, disorganized, frustrating,
and or dark days, there arestill good things around you.
The problem, as I mentioned, isthat good things will get
drowned out by the bad things ifit's up to your brain and only
your brain.

(03:41):
When you practice gratitude,you'll rewire your brain so that
you see more of the good things,even on the hard days.
Science has shown that we havethe ability to rewire our
brains, which I think is justfascinating.
We have the ability to decidewhat we want our brains to focus
on, and once we give it ourdirective, it will go to work

(04:04):
for us.
And as I mentioned, it's notabout toxic positivity.
It doesn't mean ignoring thatthere are challenges or things
you don't like.
What it means is that you lookat life with a more balanced
perspective instead of only, ormostly seeing challenges.
The way your brain works is thatit will hold onto the things

(04:27):
that are either repeated themost or that have the strongest
emotions tied to them.
Because of this, it stores yournegative experiences into your
long-term memory, and it doesn'tstore the smaller positive
experiences you have.
These positive experiences areliterally forgotten within days,

(04:49):
and certainly within weeks,because your brain doesn't think
that they're important.
This is why you could get 10instances of positive feedback
and one piece of constructivecriticism about your work in a
given week and the only thingyou remember, and replay over
and over in your mind, is theone piece of constructive

(05:10):
criticism.
It's also why you forget the 10ways your partner showed you
that they care, and you latchonto the one time they were
insensitive to your needs.
Your brain wants to highlightthe negative or uncomfortable
experiences because it thinksthat somehow it will either
protect you from them happeningagain, or that it will help you

(05:32):
brace yourself for them and notbe taken by surprise by them if
they actually happen.
The problem with this is thatwithout intention, you have a
brain that will overly focus onnegative things and challenges,
which will create negative andchallenging feelings and you'll
miss out on the good things thatcould also be happening at the

(05:54):
same time.
Life is not either or, it's bothand.
I want you to consider thatagain.
Life is both and.
You can have a bad day at work,and also have an amazing evening
after work with your family.
You can have a challengingmedical situation, and also have

(06:16):
a job that allows you supportand flexibility with your
schedule.
You can be single and lonely attimes, and also be appreciative
of being independent andfinancially secure.
Do you see how this works?
It is making sure that the lenson your brain gives equal
attention to the good things aswell as to the challenges.

(06:40):
When you practice gratitude, youput positive moments and
experiences on repeat, so yourbrain starts to understand that
you think they're important, andin doing this, it starts to look
for more of them and highlightthem for you.
Part of practicing gratitudeinvolves reflecting on the
positive emotions theseexperiences create so that the

(07:02):
combination of taking time tonotice positive things, and the
emotions that they create, helpsthem get stored into your
long-term memory.
This is incredibly helpful onhard days when your brain wants
to tell you that nothing evergoes well.
You now have stored evidence toprove this is not true, and

(07:24):
you'll be able to pull out of anegative emotional state and
regroup much faster.
Now that you hopefullyunderstand how this works and
why it makes a difference, Iwant you to take some action so
that you can create your owngratitude practice, and it only
takes a few minutes a day.
The key is consistency, so thatyou change that wiring in your

(07:48):
brain and get it working foryou.
So let's take some action andcreate your very own gratitude
practice.
All of this information willalso be in the show notes, so
you can go reference it there.
First, identify where you'llwrite down what you're grateful
for.
I always highly recommend usingpen and paper and going old

(08:09):
school.
There's something different thathappens in your brain and in
your body when you're physicallywriting things out.
But if you do prefer, you cancertainly create a document
online or use the Notes app onyour phone.
What I want you to do is createan ongoing list, so just think
about what's going to work foryou to do that.

(08:30):
Next, if possible, identify atime of the day and specific
location where you can situndistracted for just a few
minutes.
Many people find that firstthing in the morning or right
before bed works.
But if this is new to you, playaround with it and you can even
set a reminder on your phone fora certain time each day until it

(08:51):
becomes a habit.
Finally, you want to sit downundistracted and ask yourself,
"What is one thing from the last24 hours that I'm grateful for"?
Now this is important.
This isn't about checking a boxto say you did your gratitude
practice.
When you do this, you reallywant to take a moment to pause

(09:15):
and reflect and notice how youfeel.
This is what will start tochange the wiring of your brain.
So there you have it.
Pretty simple, right?
So, Practicing gratitude is areally important part of my
morning routine, and I hope youeither already have your own
gratitude practice, or afterlistening to this, that you

(09:35):
consider starting one.
And again, I'm grateful youlistened to this episode and I'm
grateful for you.
That's a wrap.
You should be proud of yourselffor investing time in you, which
is so critical for success andfor overall life fulfillment.
I look forward to having youjoin me for my next episode.

(09:57):
And in the meantime, go clickthat subscribe button so you'll
know when it's released, and youcan also follow me on Instagram
at Best Boss Lady Life that's atBest Boss Lady Life on
Instagram.
Also, remember that whatever itis that you're working on,
you've got this and I'm herecheering you on.