March 24, 2025 • 22 mins
If you want to be seen, heard, and make a positive impact, you need to figure out who you are and what lights you up. Many of us define ourselves by *who we serve* instead of *who we are.* This episode is packed with insights and strategies to help you tap into your true identity and feed your unique superpower.
Why?
- Understanding your superpower is key for women to be seen and heard.
- It's crucial to ask ourselves what we want, not just who we serve.
- When we start to embrace our strengths, we unlock new opportunities.
- Creating environments that nurture our superpowers can lead to personal and professional growth.
- Owning your superpower means flexing it daily, just like any other skill we practice.
🌟 Guest: T.H. Irwin
📝 Show notes: www.onairella.com/post/your-superpower
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On Air With Ella is for women who want to feel better, look better, live better - and have more fun doing it. This is where we share simple strategies and tips for living a bit better every day. If you’re interested in mindset and wellness, healthy habits and relationships, or hormone health, aging well and eating well, then you’re in the right place.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Why is it important for womento ask an answer? What is your superpower?
Why does it matter in real life?
It matters because if you wantto be seen, heard, and impactful
in a positive way for yourselfand others, you better figure out
who you are.
Welcome. You're on air withElla, where we share simple strategies
(00:23):
and tips for living a littlebetter every day. If you're interested
in mindset and wellness orhealthy habits and relationships,
or horm hormone health, agingwell and eating well, honestly, if
you're just into living betterand with more energy, then you're
in the right place. We're nothere for perfect. We're here for
a little better every day.Let's go. Hey, you're on air with
(00:48):
Ella. And today I am joined bymy friend, T.H.
Irwin. Hey, T.H.
How are you?
Hey, Ella, how you doing?
Will you please tell everyonewho you are and what you do?
So my name is TH it's only twoletters. And what I do is I create
impactful, memorable, andintentional experiences for people.
I have produced theseexperiences across the country, but
(01:11):
now I am based in northern NewJersey, right here in Bergen County.
I was talking with TH Offline,and we were having this conversation,
and the subject of oursuperpowers came up. I think. In
fact, th. I think you askedme, what is my superpower? And shockingly,
I had an answer for.
You, but that just shows whereyou are in your.
You're right. I would not havebeen able to answer that 15 years
(01:33):
ago.
Right. You went through amajor pivot in your life where you
had to figure yourself out.And that's when we are forced to
see, who are we? What are wecapable of? What fills our cup? Because
if you don't find that, you'regoing to keep stumbling.
Yeah. And so many women, wedon't take stock. We don't have time.
We don't have time to stop andask ourselves what we want, much
(01:57):
less what we're, what we'regood at.
Right. It's always keeping upthe kids, my parents, my partner,
my loved one, my brother, my.It's not about who you serve. When
I talk about your superpower,I want to know the one word that
describes you. Who are you?Not who you serve, not what your
job is. Who are you? That's areally hard question for people to
(02:22):
answer, and it's the mostbasic question, but it's hard th.
So many women, when you askthem, who are you? You know, what
are you about? They answer ina relative measure, as you put it,
they describe who they serve,not who they are. Tell me what's
important about that from yourstory. What did that look like for
(02:43):
you?
No one had ever put aspotlight on me. So I think the reason
that most people. It's notjust women. I think most people struggle
with answering the question ofwhat is your superpower? Is because
nobody asked you about you.What'd you do today? How is work?
Not what made you feel happytoday? What made you smile? What
(03:04):
did you uncover as yourstrength? Nobody asks you those questions.
Nobody cares. But you have tostart caring. You have to start caring
about answering thosequestions for yourself because that's
how you grow and you learn. SoI've had many pivots in my life.
Many were not chosen, but I amhappy for them. Like my divorce,
(03:27):
that was a beautiful thing forme. That got me out of a very. I
mean, I was just a stuck,unknown shell, robotic mother. You
asked me what my superpowerword it would be organizer, and it
would be organizing everybody.And I am nowhere in that equation
then. So I had my divorce, Ichanged jobs, and then I started
(03:51):
a new career with my bestfriend. We started our own business
during COVID And so these areall pivots. And I want you to think
about what you love. I lovecreating environments that make where
I see other people thrive. Andthe only reason I'm successful with
(04:11):
it is because I have learnedto do it for myself. I have created
environments after my divorce,after my breast cancer, after this,
after that. And it's notalways perfect. And we only learn
when we make mistakes. You winor you learn. And so winning is also,
you know, who knows what areal win is? But I know for me, a
(04:35):
win is when I have a littleskip in my step, when I, like, want
to pat myself on the shoulder unapologetically.
Why is it important for womento ask an answer? What is your superpower?
Why does it matter in real life?
Hey, it's Ella. Have you eversaid to yourself, I.
(04:56):
Work, I have a family, but I.
Really want some energy andsome time for me or I want to be.
Successful, not overwhelmedall the damn time, Right? I need
more friendship in my life.
But making friends as an adultis really hard. I know I need to
invest more in myself. I wantto invest more in myself, but where
do I even start? Is any ofthat relatable for you? It is for
(05:18):
me and it is for my co host ofthe event that we are holding exclusively
for women on May 9th. It'scalled women of Impact. Mastering
your A game in Business. Andlife. And this event is hosted by
me and my co host Shannon andtailored for women just like us who
benefit from personal andprofessional development, who are
balancing multiple prioritiesbut want to take care of our own
(05:40):
well being. For women whodon't have time to waste on motivation
like we need real lifeapplication. I want to talk success
and self care.
Like can't we have both?
Women of Impact is the onlyevent that I know of that combines
professional development,financial empowerment and personal
well being all in oneunforgettable day. I know your time
(06:03):
is valuable, so is mine. Butthe one thing we don't have is time.
That is why we have packedthis day with actionable takeaways
that you can use immediately.And. And did you know that many companies
will sponsor your attendance?There's a whole section on the website
for tips on how to get youremployer to pay for your registration.
VIP attendees, you get a freeprofessional headshot. Everyone that
(06:25):
comes champagne mixer.Afterward, there are special gifts
for every single one of you.And an hour after the programming
is over where we can all meetand greet and talk and mix and mingle
and make deeper connections. Ireally hope to see you there. Seating
is limited because of thevenue, so do not wait. Meet me@masteryouragame.com
(06:48):
or find all of the details inthe event section of my website on
air ella.com of course, youdon't need to remember any of that.
All the links are available inthe show notes right here in this
app. Okay, I really hope tosee you May 9th.
Don't lose out on your seat.
Grab a friend, grab acolleague, bring your team and we'll
see you there.Masteryouragame.com it matters because
(07:10):
if you want.
To be seen, heard andimpactful in a positive way for yourself
and others, you better figureout who you are. If you're just going
through the motions in yourlife, like I did during my marriage,
like I did in my first career.Did I check the box? How did my review
(07:32):
go? I got this much in salesthat has nothing to do with who I
am. The more you're in touchwith who you are, the better you
are. The healthier you are,the more opportunities that probably
have been sitting around youfor a long time, but finally you're
thinking, I can freaking dothat. I can do that. And I have.
(07:53):
As part of owning mysuperpower as a creator. That's my
superpower. Word. I say yesbefore. No. Th. This opportunity
is here. Do you want to. Yes.Do you think maybe this is something
you might Be up for yes. Sayyes before no. Don't talk yourself
out of it. If you have it inyou and you're recognizing it and
(08:17):
you're owning it, say yes.
You just demonstrated withthat one example why knowing what
your superpower is is soimportant. Because if you weren't
talking about operating inalignment with your gifts, in alignment
with pursuing your highestfulfillment, then it would be a terrible
(08:38):
idea to say yes to everything.Like, that's how we got in this situation
in the first place. Right? Andgrowing up and growing in is learning
what is of value to you andbeing totally okay with releasing
what's not. So I love when youtalk about being a creator, when
you talk about being aboutsaying yes, you are talking about
(08:58):
doing so in alignment, and weskip that step for so I don't know
about you. When I was 25, whenI was 35, when I was in the thick
of building my businesses andraising my child and trying to be
a decent wife and all of thesethings and all these people that
I serve, I. If you'd asked mewhat my superpower was, I might have
(09:22):
had, like, a violent response.Because you don't. Who's got the
time right right now?
You're going to challenge me?Yes, it feels like now I got to be
tested.
Yes, it feels like a test. Andyou. What you are describing is freedom
and an agency, and it'sexciting, and it's dialed in, and
(09:43):
it's in alignment. And yousaid, okay, so your superpower word
is creator, Right? And thatdescribes who you are, not who you
serve. And if anyone'stripping up on the word serve, like
your family serves you back ina way also. Okay, we are not implying,
lying, that you're, like,walking around on bended knee. That's
not the point.
No, it has to be what fillsyou up so you can sleep at night
(10:08):
and wake up and be like, I'mgoing. I'm going straight ahead.
I am very clear on what my.
Superpower word is, but I'mnot going.
To share it, because I wantyou to treat me like someone who
has never thought about thisquestion before in her life. Thomas.
So I come to you, and I'mlike, okay, this conversation intrigued
(10:29):
me, but I've never thoughtabout this in my life. Where am I
even starting? What does thislook like in real life?
So I would start, Ella, bysaying, what makes you smile and
laugh in your day? What makesyou smile and laugh?
Nth if I could build on thatquestion just for myself, just the
way my brain Works. It wouldbe like, what do you do? What would
you do for free? Like, whatwould you absolutely do? What lights
(10:51):
up your brain synapses andjust flows for you. And so for me,
I know that that is connectingwith people and feeling like I can
bring something to them oroffer them something or offer them
another connection to someoneelse that lights them up, that serves
them in some way. But being inthat energy lights me up makes sense.
(11:16):
It makes sense. That's yoursuperpower, because that fills you
up to meet me. You're servingyourself first. So, yes, you're putting
me together with other peopleand all these other matchmaking things
you're doing, but it allstarts with you. So your superpower
word is a connector is becauseyou're connecting with people at
(11:37):
a deeper level, at ameaningful way that fills you up.
And then you're like, I wantmore of that. That fuels you. That's
the magic, is figuring whatthat is.
Yes. And I have to say, like,I thought this was so much. When
you and I spoke about this,just off just. It was just whimsy,
you guys. When. When th and Iwere talking about this, I answered
(12:00):
without even thinking aboutit. My superpower word is connector.
And what that equipped me with.
Th.
If I may self indulge here forjust a moment. It. It enriched my
point of view just byarticulating that to you. And I'll
tell you why. I know I'm afacilitator. I love conn people to
(12:20):
other resources or informationor whatever that might help them.
That is in service to me, asyou said. But also I love connecting
us from our heads to ourbodies. I love reminding us that
we are integrated beings. Ilove reminding us to get into our
bodies and to treat them welland how to take care of them. And
(12:40):
I love the. It's almost aliteral connection, if you will,
of us to back to our selves.And so just being able to have this
conversation about what mysuperpower was, was so enlightening
and crystallizing for mebecause it allowed me to connect
some dots that I don't knowthat I'd fully articulated before.
(13:01):
And that in and of itself isempowering. What does that look like
or mean to you?
Well, you're putting aspotlight, right? We never put a
spotlight on it. Once youstart to see things, then you see
it all the time and you canembrace it and love it. I know that
when I separated from myhusband, I wore beige, blue, black,
(13:26):
gray. I wore khakis, T shirts,crew neck sweaters. I had no personality.
I was coming out of arelationship where I was literally
robotic. The kids got toschool, I went to work, I picked
them up, I brought them homesomehow, I fed them, and then we
all went to sleep and westarted again. So then I started
to grow. Then I started torealize, you know what? I have potential.
(13:50):
I am a good mom. I am not. Somany of the voices in what all the
voices in my head were tellingme for so long, I didn't own any
of them. And they all feltuncomfortable because they weren't
me. Really. Figuring out whoyou are is a small step. So my first
spotlight was, you know what?I like the color orange. And orange
(14:13):
looks good on me, and I ownthat. And then it was, I like that
red jacket. And I started tolearn what I like, what is my personality?
How do I want to reflect thatto the world? That is how little
and simple it is. I also soever my whole life is like bright
colors. I wear lots of brightcolors. I also am out in nature a
(14:37):
lot. I find it very calming.I'm all about a workout. So if I
could go for a good hike andbe in nature and talk to the trees,
it's like a win win. But Iliterally stop and smell the roses.
I literally stop and take apicture of a bug or a rushing water.
Okay. So as a creator, I havefound my favorite pictures and I
(14:58):
put them on canvas. You know,I have them printed up, and they're
in my gym. My gym is my spacethat I have created as a place that
reminds me of being outsidewhen I can't be and brings beauty
into my life. Those are thethings that fill me up. That's what
I know now. I look around myhouse, and I have created spaces
(15:19):
filled with things that bringme joy. And if you look at the art
in my house, it's bold, it'sbright, it's interesting, and it
reflects what I create. And soit's all intermingled. But it could
start with something as simpleas what is your favorite color? I
never thought about it.
(15:41):
These sound like little, smallthings. But guess what? Our entire
life is comprised of little,small things. And so many of us,
we go years without evenknowing what foods we like. To use
one example, we have sexwithout even asking ourselves if
we like that or this or whatwe prefer. So big and small. And
(16:05):
all of these little decisions,all of these unasked questions comprise
an entire life. So what I loveabout what you just illustrated was
you started to ask thequestion, and this comes Up. When
people talk about. I talkabout binge eating and, like, disordered
relationships with food a loton this show or have done in the
(16:25):
past. Th. And one of thethings that I realized in having
these conversations and havingmy own experiences is, is we weren't
even stopping to ask if weliked a thing, if you'll forgive
the leap on the analogy. Wemight be eating and stuffing and,
like, shamefully shoving downa chocolate cake and never even stopping
to ask if we like the thing.It just looked indulgent or looked
(16:49):
like it was on the bad list.So we start shoving it in. Like there
are. So I could give you somany examples. Food and. And relationship
choices and wardrobe choices,to your point, and hobbies and so
on and so forth. Like, the waywe spend time, we don't stop to ask
ourselves what we even like inphases of our life. So it sounds
(17:15):
like you had to sort of have alittle awakening to. To see. To learn
this side of you, to meet thisside of you.
Absolutely. I mean, I gotmarried at. I was engaged at 24.
I was married at 25. I feltlike this is what you're supposed
to do. So I was going alongthe path and losing myself in the
(17:37):
process, and that's dangerous.And I have. I have a master's degree.
I had a career. I had all thethings. But you know what? I had
to wear a suit to work everyday. So it didn't really matter what
I like to wear to work. Andyou had a certain way that you had
to present yourself in orderto be respected, but not necessarily
(18:00):
to be seen or heard.
Th. Let me ask you this. We'vealready established that naming your
superpower is powerful in andof itself. I mean, just my own example.
It was immediately helpful.But how do you protect your superpower?
And do you know what I mean by that?
Yeah. Like, with anything thatyou try out. That's new. How do I
(18:23):
protect and how do I nurtureit? You flex it. Just like anything
else that you want to havestick in your life, you have to use
it, otherwise you're going tolose it. So use it in your head.
Put a mantra on yourscreensaver. I have reminders of
who I am and what I lovearound me at all times. And that
(18:47):
is how I learned to make thatmuscle strong. So being a creator,
I can say that proudly,unapologetically, and take it or
leave it. I don't really care,because I own it. It's mine, and
you can have your own, and youcan say whatever you want. But I'm
good because I am strong in mysuperpower, because I've used it,
(19:10):
and I say it out loud. It'slike anything, right? If you say
it out loud, it becomes real.So if you want to start writing it
in a journal, what are all thethings that I'm good at? What would
my best friend say about me?If you're having trouble figuring
it out, what would your bestfriend say about you? Well, my best
(19:30):
friend would say X, y, and Z.So write all those things down and
you can ask.
I have asked before. When Ihave felt particularly stuck or lacking
in direction, I have askedpeople that I know like and trust.
What do you think of when youthink of me? How. What is my value
(19:50):
that you see? And that's avulnerable thing to do. And I. Again,
this is not something that I'mdoing, you know, on online, but it's
something. It's a questionthat I have posed to people that
I know like and trust andwhose opinions I value and have gotten
immediately unstuck andsometimes occasionally, just very
pleasantly surprised.
(20:11):
Yeah. Today, actually, I wenton a site visit with two women who.
One. One is a new friend. Theother is a woman who I'm planning
an event, and I put on myoutfit, and she goes, you are so
stylish.
What? Like, I'm sorry, what?Could you say that again? But into
my phone, slam on the brakes.
(20:32):
Me. You just always look socool. Me, cool? I never thought of
it that way. I love it, loveit. So now I can own that, too. And
maybe that's another way thatI'm also a creator. The way I dress
makes people smile because itmakes me smile.
To recap, we are naming oursuperpower. We are starting with
(20:54):
what brings us joy, whatlights us up inside. And we are naming
it. We are nurturing it byfinding ways to live it out in our
environments. And then we areprotecting it by actually taking
action by flexing that muscle,as you said, just a little bit every
(21:15):
day, just like we would inbuilding any other habit. So our
questions for you is, what isyour superpower? How will you nurture
it, and how will you protectit? How will it live in your space?
Th. Thank you so much.
Thank you so much for beinghere. I so enjoy your energy. I know
(21:36):
you're a connector, but forme, your superpower is energy.
Thank you.
My pleasure.
Okay, if you enjoyed today'sshow, please share it with someone
you care about. And be sure tocheck out our new YouTube channel
and head to onairella.com fortoday's show notes. You can also
learn about how to work withme there on airela.com and I would
(21:58):
love to hear from you. So ifyou DM me on Instagram I promise
I will reply. Yes, all thelinks you need for us to connect
are right here in your podcastapp in the description for today's
episode. Check them out.Thanks for listening and thanks for
inspiring me. You are quitesimply awesome.
Why is it important for womento ask an answer? What is your superpower?
Why does it matter in real life?
It matters because if you wantto be seen, heard, and impactful
in a positive way for yourselfand others, you better figure out
who you are.
Welcome. You're on air withElla, where we share simple strategies
(00:23):
and tips for living a littlebetter every day. If you're interested
in mindset and wellness orhealthy habits and relationships,
or horm hormone health, agingwell and eating well, honestly, if
you're just into living betterand with more energy, then you're
in the right place. We're nothere for perfect. We're here for
a little better every day.Let's go. Hey, you're on air with
(00:48):
Ella. And today I am joined bymy friend, T.H.
Irwin. Hey, T.H.
How are you?
Hey, Ella, how you doing?
Will you please tell everyonewho you are and what you do?
So my name is TH it's only twoletters. And what I do is I create
impactful, memorable, andintentional experiences for people.
I have produced theseexperiences across the country, but
(01:11):
now I am based in northern NewJersey, right here in Bergen County.
I was talking with TH Offline,and we were having this conversation,
and the subject of oursuperpowers came up. I think. In
fact, th. I think you askedme, what is my superpower? And shockingly,
I had an answer for.
You, but that just shows whereyou are in your.
You're right. I would not havebeen able to answer that 15 years
(01:33):
ago.
Right. You went through amajor pivot in your life where you
had to figure yourself out.And that's when we are forced to
see, who are we? What are wecapable of? What fills our cup? Because
if you don't find that, you'regoing to keep stumbling.
Yeah. And so many women, wedon't take stock. We don't have time.
We don't have time to stop andask ourselves what we want, much
(01:57):
less what we're, what we'regood at.
Right. It's always keeping upthe kids, my parents, my partner,
my loved one, my brother, my.It's not about who you serve. When
I talk about your superpower,I want to know the one word that
describes you. Who are you?Not who you serve, not what your
job is. Who are you? That's areally hard question for people to
(02:22):
answer, and it's the mostbasic question, but it's hard th.
So many women, when you askthem, who are you? You know, what
are you about? They answer ina relative measure, as you put it,
they describe who they serve,not who they are. Tell me what's
important about that from yourstory. What did that look like for
(02:43):
you?
No one had ever put aspotlight on me. So I think the reason
that most people. It's notjust women. I think most people struggle
with answering the question ofwhat is your superpower? Is because
nobody asked you about you.What'd you do today? How is work?
Not what made you feel happytoday? What made you smile? What
(03:04):
did you uncover as yourstrength? Nobody asks you those questions.
Nobody cares. But you have tostart caring. You have to start caring
about answering thosequestions for yourself because that's
how you grow and you learn. SoI've had many pivots in my life.
Many were not chosen, but I amhappy for them. Like my divorce,
(03:27):
that was a beautiful thing forme. That got me out of a very. I
mean, I was just a stuck,unknown shell, robotic mother. You
asked me what my superpowerword it would be organizer, and it
would be organizing everybody.And I am nowhere in that equation
then. So I had my divorce, Ichanged jobs, and then I started
(03:51):
a new career with my bestfriend. We started our own business
during COVID And so these areall pivots. And I want you to think
about what you love. I lovecreating environments that make where
I see other people thrive. Andthe only reason I'm successful with
(04:11):
it is because I have learnedto do it for myself. I have created
environments after my divorce,after my breast cancer, after this,
after that. And it's notalways perfect. And we only learn
when we make mistakes. You winor you learn. And so winning is also,
you know, who knows what areal win is? But I know for me, a
(04:35):
win is when I have a littleskip in my step, when I, like, want
to pat myself on the shoulder unapologetically.
Why is it important for womento ask an answer? What is your superpower?
Why does it matter in real life?
Hey, it's Ella. Have you eversaid to yourself, I.
(04:56):
Work, I have a family, but I.
Really want some energy andsome time for me or I want to be.
Successful, not overwhelmedall the damn time, Right? I need
more friendship in my life.
But making friends as an adultis really hard. I know I need to
invest more in myself. I wantto invest more in myself, but where
do I even start? Is any ofthat relatable for you? It is for
(05:18):
me and it is for my co host ofthe event that we are holding exclusively
for women on May 9th. It'scalled women of Impact. Mastering
your A game in Business. Andlife. And this event is hosted by
me and my co host Shannon andtailored for women just like us who
benefit from personal andprofessional development, who are
balancing multiple prioritiesbut want to take care of our own
(05:40):
well being. For women whodon't have time to waste on motivation
like we need real lifeapplication. I want to talk success
and self care.
Like can't we have both?
Women of Impact is the onlyevent that I know of that combines
professional development,financial empowerment and personal
well being all in oneunforgettable day. I know your time
(06:03):
is valuable, so is mine. Butthe one thing we don't have is time.
That is why we have packedthis day with actionable takeaways
that you can use immediately.And. And did you know that many companies
will sponsor your attendance?There's a whole section on the website
for tips on how to get youremployer to pay for your registration.
VIP attendees, you get a freeprofessional headshot. Everyone that
(06:25):
comes champagne mixer.Afterward, there are special gifts
for every single one of you.And an hour after the programming
is over where we can all meetand greet and talk and mix and mingle
and make deeper connections. Ireally hope to see you there. Seating
is limited because of thevenue, so do not wait. Meet me@masteryouragame.com
(06:48):
or find all of the details inthe event section of my website on
air ella.com of course, youdon't need to remember any of that.
All the links are available inthe show notes right here in this
app. Okay, I really hope tosee you May 9th.
Don't lose out on your seat.
Grab a friend, grab acolleague, bring your team and we'll
see you there.Masteryouragame.com it matters because
(07:10):
if you want.
To be seen, heard andimpactful in a positive way for yourself
and others, you better figureout who you are. If you're just going
through the motions in yourlife, like I did during my marriage,
like I did in my first career.Did I check the box? How did my review
(07:32):
go? I got this much in salesthat has nothing to do with who I
am. The more you're in touchwith who you are, the better you
are. The healthier you are,the more opportunities that probably
have been sitting around youfor a long time, but finally you're
thinking, I can freaking dothat. I can do that. And I have.
(07:53):
As part of owning mysuperpower as a creator. That's my
superpower. Word. I say yesbefore. No. Th. This opportunity
is here. Do you want to. Yes.Do you think maybe this is something
you might Be up for yes. Sayyes before no. Don't talk yourself
out of it. If you have it inyou and you're recognizing it and
(08:17):
you're owning it, say yes.
You just demonstrated withthat one example why knowing what
your superpower is is soimportant. Because if you weren't
talking about operating inalignment with your gifts, in alignment
with pursuing your highestfulfillment, then it would be a terrible
(08:38):
idea to say yes to everything.Like, that's how we got in this situation
in the first place. Right? Andgrowing up and growing in is learning
what is of value to you andbeing totally okay with releasing
what's not. So I love when youtalk about being a creator, when
you talk about being aboutsaying yes, you are talking about
(08:58):
doing so in alignment, and weskip that step for so I don't know
about you. When I was 25, whenI was 35, when I was in the thick
of building my businesses andraising my child and trying to be
a decent wife and all of thesethings and all these people that
I serve, I. If you'd asked mewhat my superpower was, I might have
(09:22):
had, like, a violent response.Because you don't. Who's got the
time right right now?
You're going to challenge me?Yes, it feels like now I got to be
tested.
Yes, it feels like a test. Andyou. What you are describing is freedom
and an agency, and it'sexciting, and it's dialed in, and
(09:43):
it's in alignment. And yousaid, okay, so your superpower word
is creator, Right? And thatdescribes who you are, not who you
serve. And if anyone'stripping up on the word serve, like
your family serves you back ina way also. Okay, we are not implying,
lying, that you're, like,walking around on bended knee. That's
not the point.
No, it has to be what fillsyou up so you can sleep at night
(10:08):
and wake up and be like, I'mgoing. I'm going straight ahead.
I am very clear on what my.
Superpower word is, but I'mnot going.
To share it, because I wantyou to treat me like someone who
has never thought about thisquestion before in her life. Thomas.
So I come to you, and I'mlike, okay, this conversation intrigued
(10:29):
me, but I've never thoughtabout this in my life. Where am I
even starting? What does thislook like in real life?
So I would start, Ella, bysaying, what makes you smile and
laugh in your day? What makesyou smile and laugh?
Nth if I could build on thatquestion just for myself, just the
way my brain Works. It wouldbe like, what do you do? What would
you do for free? Like, whatwould you absolutely do? What lights
(10:51):
up your brain synapses andjust flows for you. And so for me,
I know that that is connectingwith people and feeling like I can
bring something to them oroffer them something or offer them
another connection to someoneelse that lights them up, that serves
them in some way. But being inthat energy lights me up makes sense.
(11:16):
It makes sense. That's yoursuperpower, because that fills you
up to meet me. You're servingyourself first. So, yes, you're putting
me together with other peopleand all these other matchmaking things
you're doing, but it allstarts with you. So your superpower
word is a connector is becauseyou're connecting with people at
(11:37):
a deeper level, at ameaningful way that fills you up.
And then you're like, I wantmore of that. That fuels you. That's
the magic, is figuring whatthat is.
Yes. And I have to say, like,I thought this was so much. When
you and I spoke about this,just off just. It was just whimsy,
you guys. When. When th and Iwere talking about this, I answered
(12:00):
without even thinking aboutit. My superpower word is connector.
And what that equipped me with.
Th.
If I may self indulge here forjust a moment. It. It enriched my
point of view just byarticulating that to you. And I'll
tell you why. I know I'm afacilitator. I love conn people to
(12:20):
other resources or informationor whatever that might help them.
That is in service to me, asyou said. But also I love connecting
us from our heads to ourbodies. I love reminding us that
we are integrated beings. Ilove reminding us to get into our
bodies and to treat them welland how to take care of them. And
(12:40):
I love the. It's almost aliteral connection, if you will,
of us to back to our selves.And so just being able to have this
conversation about what mysuperpower was, was so enlightening
and crystallizing for mebecause it allowed me to connect
some dots that I don't knowthat I'd fully articulated before.
(13:01):
And that in and of itself isempowering. What does that look like
or mean to you?
Well, you're putting aspotlight, right? We never put a
spotlight on it. Once youstart to see things, then you see
it all the time and you canembrace it and love it. I know that
when I separated from myhusband, I wore beige, blue, black,
(13:26):
gray. I wore khakis, T shirts,crew neck sweaters. I had no personality.
I was coming out of arelationship where I was literally
robotic. The kids got toschool, I went to work, I picked
them up, I brought them homesomehow, I fed them, and then we
all went to sleep and westarted again. So then I started
to grow. Then I started torealize, you know what? I have potential.
(13:50):
I am a good mom. I am not. Somany of the voices in what all the
voices in my head were tellingme for so long, I didn't own any
of them. And they all feltuncomfortable because they weren't
me. Really. Figuring out whoyou are is a small step. So my first
spotlight was, you know what?I like the color orange. And orange
(14:13):
looks good on me, and I ownthat. And then it was, I like that
red jacket. And I started tolearn what I like, what is my personality?
How do I want to reflect thatto the world? That is how little
and simple it is. I also soever my whole life is like bright
colors. I wear lots of brightcolors. I also am out in nature a
(14:37):
lot. I find it very calming.I'm all about a workout. So if I
could go for a good hike andbe in nature and talk to the trees,
it's like a win win. But Iliterally stop and smell the roses.
I literally stop and take apicture of a bug or a rushing water.
Okay. So as a creator, I havefound my favorite pictures and I
(14:58):
put them on canvas. You know,I have them printed up, and they're
in my gym. My gym is my spacethat I have created as a place that
reminds me of being outsidewhen I can't be and brings beauty
into my life. Those are thethings that fill me up. That's what
I know now. I look around myhouse, and I have created spaces
(15:19):
filled with things that bringme joy. And if you look at the art
in my house, it's bold, it'sbright, it's interesting, and it
reflects what I create. And soit's all intermingled. But it could
start with something as simpleas what is your favorite color? I
never thought about it.
(15:41):
These sound like little, smallthings. But guess what? Our entire
life is comprised of little,small things. And so many of us,
we go years without evenknowing what foods we like. To use
one example, we have sexwithout even asking ourselves if
we like that or this or whatwe prefer. So big and small. And
(16:05):
all of these little decisions,all of these unasked questions comprise
an entire life. So what I loveabout what you just illustrated was
you started to ask thequestion, and this comes Up. When
people talk about. I talkabout binge eating and, like, disordered
relationships with food a loton this show or have done in the
(16:25):
past. Th. And one of thethings that I realized in having
these conversations and havingmy own experiences is, is we weren't
even stopping to ask if weliked a thing, if you'll forgive
the leap on the analogy. Wemight be eating and stuffing and,
like, shamefully shoving downa chocolate cake and never even stopping
to ask if we like the thing.It just looked indulgent or looked
(16:49):
like it was on the bad list.So we start shoving it in. Like there
are. So I could give you somany examples. Food and. And relationship
choices and wardrobe choices,to your point, and hobbies and so
on and so forth. Like, the waywe spend time, we don't stop to ask
ourselves what we even like inphases of our life. So it sounds
(17:15):
like you had to sort of have alittle awakening to. To see. To learn
this side of you, to meet thisside of you.
Absolutely. I mean, I gotmarried at. I was engaged at 24.
I was married at 25. I feltlike this is what you're supposed
to do. So I was going alongthe path and losing myself in the
(17:37):
process, and that's dangerous.And I have. I have a master's degree.
I had a career. I had all thethings. But you know what? I had
to wear a suit to work everyday. So it didn't really matter what
I like to wear to work. Andyou had a certain way that you had
to present yourself in orderto be respected, but not necessarily
(18:00):
to be seen or heard.
Th. Let me ask you this. We'vealready established that naming your
superpower is powerful in andof itself. I mean, just my own example.
It was immediately helpful.But how do you protect your superpower?
And do you know what I mean by that?
Yeah. Like, with anything thatyou try out. That's new. How do I
(18:23):
protect and how do I nurtureit? You flex it. Just like anything
else that you want to havestick in your life, you have to use
it, otherwise you're going tolose it. So use it in your head.
Put a mantra on yourscreensaver. I have reminders of
who I am and what I lovearound me at all times. And that
(18:47):
is how I learned to make thatmuscle strong. So being a creator,
I can say that proudly,unapologetically, and take it or
leave it. I don't really care,because I own it. It's mine, and
you can have your own, and youcan say whatever you want. But I'm
good because I am strong in mysuperpower, because I've used it,
(19:10):
and I say it out loud. It'slike anything, right? If you say
it out loud, it becomes real.So if you want to start writing it
in a journal, what are all thethings that I'm good at? What would
my best friend say about me?If you're having trouble figuring
it out, what would your bestfriend say about you? Well, my best
(19:30):
friend would say X, y, and Z.So write all those things down and
you can ask.
I have asked before. When Ihave felt particularly stuck or lacking
in direction, I have askedpeople that I know like and trust.
What do you think of when youthink of me? How. What is my value
(19:50):
that you see? And that's avulnerable thing to do. And I. Again,
this is not something that I'mdoing, you know, on online, but it's
something. It's a questionthat I have posed to people that
I know like and trust andwhose opinions I value and have gotten
immediately unstuck andsometimes occasionally, just very
pleasantly surprised.
(20:11):
Yeah. Today, actually, I wenton a site visit with two women who.
One. One is a new friend. Theother is a woman who I'm planning
an event, and I put on myoutfit, and she goes, you are so
stylish.
What? Like, I'm sorry, what?Could you say that again? But into
my phone, slam on the brakes.
(20:32):
Me. You just always look socool. Me, cool? I never thought of
it that way. I love it, loveit. So now I can own that, too. And
maybe that's another way thatI'm also a creator. The way I dress
makes people smile because itmakes me smile.
To recap, we are naming oursuperpower. We are starting with
(20:54):
what brings us joy, whatlights us up inside. And we are naming
it. We are nurturing it byfinding ways to live it out in our
environments. And then we areprotecting it by actually taking
action by flexing that muscle,as you said, just a little bit every
(21:15):
day, just like we would inbuilding any other habit. So our
questions for you is, what isyour superpower? How will you nurture
it, and how will you protectit? How will it live in your space?
Th. Thank you so much.
Thank you so much for beinghere. I so enjoy your energy. I know
(21:36):
you're a connector, but forme, your superpower is energy.
Thank you.
My pleasure.
Okay, if you enjoyed today'sshow, please share it with someone
you care about. And be sure tocheck out our new YouTube channel
and head to onairella.com fortoday's show notes. You can also
learn about how to work withme there on airela.com and I would
(21:58):
love to hear from you. So ifyou DM me on Instagram I promise
I will reply. Yes, all thelinks you need for us to connect
are right here in your podcastapp in the description for today's
episode. Check them out.Thanks for listening and thanks for
inspiring me. You are quitesimply awesome.
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