Stop Identifying As A Chronic Pain Sufferer || WBWL Ep 91

Chronic pain is something that many people have or deal with in their lives.

There's are a large majority of these individuals who identify with chronic pain.

Chronic pain "sufferers" embody chronic pain, and they interweave it into every facet of their lives, from the things they do, the conversations they have with people, the communities and forums they join, etc. And this has a tremendous impact on your quality of life, as well as lowering the possibility of you ever getting rid of chronic pain for good.

This is a message to those "sufferers", and to change your mindset to think otherwise.

Hope this will hit home for you; it did for me when I too felt like I suffered with chronic neck pain and thought I would never find a solution out of it.

But I have; and I want to share those tips with you too.

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Interested in working with us? We're looking for healthcare workers, busy parents, and working professionals over 30 who want to eliminate chronic pain from their life so they can enjoy a more active life with their friends & family. We've helped over 550 people find long term success in becoming pain-free. Book a call here to speak with us: https://www.flexwithdoctorjay.co/book

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Episode Transcript

(00:01):
What I want you to do right now,if you're suffering with chronic
pain, is stop telling yourselfthis self fulfilling prophecy.
I am a chronic pain sufferer.
Because as soon as you identifyas something, You start to hard
embed that into your DNA,metaphorically speaking, of
course.
So there's a vast differencebetween if you're saying you're
a chronic pain sufferer versusjust somebody that's dealing

(00:24):
with some sort of persistentpain.
Both people may be dealing withthe same type of pain, but one
person is going to take vastlydifferent actions.
So I'm going to tell you why,because identity is something
that gets hard rooted andembedded So I'm going to tell
you why identity is somethingthat gets hard rooted and
embedded into everything thatyou do, because as soon as we
identify as something, we startto reflect on the actions that
we take.

(00:44):
Those actions are going to yielda certain result, and that
result is therefore going toperpetuate certain beliefs about
ourselves.
So chronic pain sufferers isexactly this, and let me know if
this sounds familiar.
Chronic pain sufferer thereforeseeks out treatment, some sort
of manual therapy or something,has some sort of therapeutic
benefits.

(01:05):
And therefore, you go home, thepain comes back, and therefore,
it creates a vicious cycle, andthen you repeat that over and
over again, and therefore, youstart to feel depressed, you
start to feel overwhelmed, youstart to feel a specific
instance of, I'm not worthy, orI, I'm not financially well, my
relationships are poor because Iam a chronic pain sufferer.

(01:27):
So the thing here is that if youidentify as such, again, it's
going to reflect on all thenegative actions that you might
take.
You may never be able to get outof chronic pain because you
strictly identify as such, okay?
It's the same thing likereligion, if you're Buddhist, if
you're Christian, if youidentify as that, then you're
going to start to reflect thosebeliefs.
If you're somebody that saysthat I'm a great Video game

(01:50):
player.
I'm a great athlete.
You start to identify you startto actually take the actions you
start to embody That specificperson so I identify as an
athlete.
So how do I identify as anathlete?
Guess what?
Guess where I'm filming things.
I'm filming it in a gym I'm alsowearing shorts and I pretty much
wear a tight tank top or a tightt shirt every single day because
this is my identity I am areflection of everything that I

(02:13):
do.
I work out seven days a weekEvery day, even when I'm not
filming things, I'm pretty muchlike working out with my kids,
I'm involving my kids ineverything that I do.
So this is me.
This is my identity as anathlete.
I also identify as a physicaltherapist.
I identify as that person.
I love helping people to resolveinjuries and resolve pain.
This is my identity.

(02:35):
Okay, but if you're going toidentify as a chronic pain
sufferer, then you're going totake exactly the actions.
You're going to reflect that,you're going to wear that on
your skin, you're essentiallygoing to tattoo that onto your
body and letting people knowthat I am a chronic pain
sufferer.
So how do you change that?
Start to change some of theNegative inflections and words

(02:56):
that you say to yourself, okay?
This saying that I always saytoo is that we oftentimes have
99 negative thoughts, but onlytwo to three of them are
actually true.
And those negative thoughts thatwe bring on to ourselves is a
reflection of the actions thatwe're going to take.
But if we simply just say that Iam somebody that simply deals
with a chronic pain or I havepain once in a while and that

(03:18):
once in a while this pain can berectified with certain measures
like exercise or otherstrategies, then you start to
not You start to take off thatidentity, you take off that mask
that you've embodied yourself asa chronic pain sufferer, and you
can finally say to yourself thatchronic pain is just a small
entity of my life.
It's not an identity, it's not apart of my genetics, I'm simply
just dealing with it once in awhile.
Okay?

(03:38):
Because I've had, elbowinjuries, I've had shoulder
injuries, maybe knee injuriesthat have lasted three months,
six months.
I've had injuries as long asmaybe even nine to twelve
months.
Okay, but essentially chronicpain is defined as any sort of
pain that is there for longerthan three to six months.
So that's defined as chronicpain, and if I identify it as

(03:59):
oh, I have this cartilage herein my knee, and so I'm a chronic
pain sufferer, then I probably,that would probably interfere
with like my ath, my athleteidentity.
That would interfere with the, alot of the identities that I
have.
And so therefore, I can start tofeel overwhelmed by that.
I start to feel more clouded,right?
Chronic pain starts to feel likea cloud that follows you
everywhere you go, and you can'tleave it, okay?

(04:21):
So rather than, again, havingthis identity factor, start to
just say to yourself that painis just a small entity that I
deal with once in a while, okay?
So a saying that I always say isthat, pain, I don't live with
chronic pain lives with me.
I don't live with chronic pain,but pain lives with me.
If you live with chronic pain,that means that you're saying to
yourself that chronic pain, justlike a house, chronic pain is

(04:42):
bigger than you.
But if you say it the oppositeway around, that pain lives with
me, then that means you're thebigger entity.
You're bigger than this pain.
Pain is just one small factorthat is a part of your life.
You can still enjoy the manyaspects of your life that still
are great.
Whether you go to a restaurantwith your family, whether you
exercise once in a while, youenjoy those hikes that you used

(05:04):
to do.
Many years ago, you can identifyas somebody like a grandma or
grandpa that can still play withtheir kids despite having maybe
some low back pain, but youstill enjoy that part of your
quality of life.
That way, these otheridentities, these other hats
that you wear, become a strongeridentity than what you perceive,

(05:24):
right?
That this chronic pain sufferer,if I simply just say that pain
is, An entity of what I have,right?
Not what I am, but simply likepain is something that I have
once in a while.
And again, am and have are verydifferent terms, right?
Am is like you are identifyingversus I have this once in a
while or I deal with this oncein a while.
It's vast, it's a vastlydifferent terminology and

(05:46):
perception of what pain actuallyis to us, okay?
So I used to back, back in theday when I went through two car
accidents in my early 20s and Ihad a lot of other family
tragedies during that time isthat I was identifying as a
person that suffered withchronic neck pain.
I suffered with it.
It embodied me.

(06:06):
Every action that I took waslike I was going to a bunch of
different offices, massagetherapists, chiropractors,
trying to figure out the rootcause.
Then I would go home.
I would just mope and bedepressed about my situation.
I was like, Hey, how can I, if Iidentify as this person with
chronic pain, can I embody theseother hats and these other
identities that I want to be inthe future, such as being a

(06:28):
father being an athlete again.
Okay.
I know I couldn't put on theseother two identities as a father
and as an athlete, which I amnow.
Because this chronic pain hadthis chronic pain identity was
so overwhelming and it was sofixating onto my body again Like
a tattoo that I couldn't thinkof anything else and it made me

(06:49):
very sad depressed Anxious aboutmy life and everything that I
did was I just had to hide it,right?
I can be with my family be youknow Be present to an extent but
everything that I did I was justthinking about my pain every
single day I just thought aboutpain And nowadays, now that I've
smarter I've learned how to fixthe pain through like exercise,
movement, nutrition, sleep, andall these other factors, change

(07:12):
my lifestyle, change my habits,moving more.
Now I no longer identify as thatas that.
I identify as the things that Iwanted to be.
Okay?
And you can do that as well.
You can have identities.
If you can't get rid of theidentity because maybe it's
enrooted into you, Then start toperceive that these other
identities that you have theseother hats that you have Start

(07:34):
to make those more magnifiedstart to believe that you are a
you know Despite me havingchronic pain or maybe you still
identify as a chronic painsufferer Maybe you can still
tell yourself that i'm still astrong mother, i'm still have
i'm still grandma I'm stillgrandpa and these are the things
that matter most to me Okay,these are the things that I will
never give up So if I canidentify more as these things

(07:58):
And maybe those identifyidentities become so strong that
maybe you're like, okay, if Iwant to take care of my three
year old grandchild who youknow, who runs around and I
can't keep up, maybe I need tostart empowering myself.
to do more exercise, to startjogging more, to start to get my
cardio up.
Maybe I start to eat better andstart to put on more muscle.

(08:21):
And then maybe that strengthensmy identity as a grandfather or
grandmother that wants to alwaysbe there for them and not just
watch from the sidelines.
Those identities eventually willpotentially kick chronic pain
sufferer.
Identity to the curb becauseyour identity your other
identities become that muchstronger Okay, but eventually as

(08:42):
these identities get stronger,maybe eventually you can
essentially permanently Removethat hat of you being a chronic
pain sufferer and simply justsaying to yourself that pain is
Essentially just a normal partof life every single person that
I know There's no person in theworld that doesn't say that they
have chronic Pain once in awhile.
Okay, that'd be very dangerousif we didn't have pain telling

(09:03):
us specific things, like if Ididn't have pain in my upper
back after sitting for a longperiod of time, then pain would
not be alerting me to get up andstretch, to move more, to get
some sunlight to de stress.
Then I would simply just besuffering even further, right?
So pain is just simply a knockon the door, just letting me
know that something could bemodified at this point, okay?

(09:24):
Something could be modified,okay?
If my knee hurts that is, if myknee starts to hurt and it
persists over a long period oftime, Then maybe I need to start
strengthening the muscles aroundthe knee.
Maybe I need to start doing myown self care, start foam
rolling more.
Or maybe I need to startstrengthening my hamstrings and
my quads.
And again, it empowers you totell you that, Hey something is

(09:45):
going, is off kilter, and maybeI need to fix that, okay?
So this is all about just, notnecessarily changing your
identity, but starting to have,embody other stronger identities
that can overwhelm this chronicpain suffering identity as well.
Okay, so as soon as you canremove the identity piece, the
sooner that you can start toempower yourself and fix some of
the things that are going wrongin your life and stop thinking

(10:08):
daily, almost hourly about painbecause it's so deeply embedded
into you, okay?
Start to empower yourselfthrough other measures, okay?
That's what I got for today.
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(10:28):
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Okay.
That's it.
That's what I got for today andI'll see you on the next one.