October 15, 2024 • 20 mins
What if your toughest moments were actually your biggest opportunities for growth? Discover how to transform life's challenges into a springboard for personal development in our celebratory 80th episode of the Words for Change podcast. We'll guide you through the art of choosing growth over despair, sharing uplifting stories of resilience from around the world. From SpaceX's groundbreaking rocket launch to the heartening recovery efforts in Florida, we find hope and strength in adversity. We also unravel the complex web of misinformation in today's political climate, urging a commitment to truth and compassion, even as tensions flare with China's military maneuvers near Taiwan.
We'll also cut through the noise surrounding personal growth myths, showing you that you don't need a guru or extraordinary measures to evolve—simple, everyday actions like praying, stretching, and reading can make all the difference. Learn how to process negative experiences in a healthy way, balancing work and play, and leaning on a supportive network to navigate life's setbacks. With personal anecdotes and practical strategies, this episode offers a roadmap to reflection and adaptability. Plus, get a sneak peek at our forthcoming free ebook packed with insights to fuel your personal growth journey. Join us as we express gratitude to our listeners and gear up for our next episode, reinforcing the importance of keeping God first and choosing growth, even when life gets tough.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Lionel Bailey (00:00):
Well, good morning.
Words for Change podcast.
I have a quote for you.
Quote says this pain andnegative experiences are
inevitable, but growth fromthose experiences is optional.
Are you growing from thenegative experiences you're
having in your life?
Well, in this episode we'regonna talk a little bit about
(00:24):
how you can grow from negativeexperiences, what it means when
you go through negativeexperiences, and maybe even
suggest another strategy forgetting through them in a
different perspective.
About negative experiences hereon October the 14th man.
This is a special episodebecause it is our 80th episode.
(00:47):
That's right, our 80th episode.
So thanks and hats off to thoseof you who've been with us
through this entire journey.
We've tried our best to getbetter at producing podcast
episodes as well as our YouTubepage.
Make sure you go check that out.
Words for Change YouTube pageon YouTube, where you can see
(01:09):
different kind of episodes.
We do the message in the wordthere as well, but it's a little
bit different how we do it tohelp cater to that platform.
Audio.
This is the fun part.
I love doing audio podcasts andso to those of you, thank you
for your continued support.
Don't forget in the descriptionyou can also send a message
(01:32):
just to say thank you.
Yes, this resonated with me.
Just click that button thereand that message will go
directly to me and I willrespond.
You can even recommend futureepisodes that you would like to
hear from as well.
Well, y'all know what day it isright.
Well, we have a lot to coverhere.
(01:56):
On October 15th, SpaceX itsengineers, have launched its 400
foot blast rocket and hasreturned that rocket back to its
(02:18):
space pad, and so they'rereally happy about that, because
this is the uh.
This means that this rocket canbe reused.
So that is a major, majoraccomplishment from the spacex
team.
So which is moving them furthertoward their goals of uh, just
(02:41):
moving them further toward theirgoal of commercialized space
flight, which is to go forSpaceX.
What else do we have in the news?
Florida neighbors are bandingtogether as they began the
recovery efforts in theaftermath of Helena, Hurricanes
Helena and Milton.
So our prayers are out to thatthose individuals and families
(03:05):
and perhaps you have familymembers who were affected by
Hurricane Helena and HurricaneMilton down in Tampa, Florida,
where many, many floods ruinedmany homes, many dreams, and so
let's keep those who areaffected and our family members
who've been affected Hopefullythere has been no loss of life
from someone that you know,people that you are close to
(03:27):
doing this time, andunfortunately, in St Petersburg,
Florida, from the pulpit somewould say, is on the Associated
Press that Harris calls outTrump for hurricane
misinformation.
There has been informationstated in the news used by
presidential candidates that Ithink they said some people are
(03:50):
saying the Democrats wereresponsible for inciting the
hurricane.
What a crazy thing.
But also I just hate the factthat we use these kind of
natural disasters as politicalfodder, if you will.
So a Cornelia Christian churchdown in Florida.
(04:12):
The president said the church.
There are some who are notacting in the spirit of
community, and I'm not speakingof these who have been literally
telling the truth, but aboutthose lying, about people who
are working hard to help folksin need, spreading
disinformation when the truthand facts are required.
(04:32):
Harris said so.
She's referring to PresidentDonald Trump and listen.
You all know that we are in afull swing and there have those
of you who listen to thispodcast are on both sides of the
aisle, but I want to encourageyou that Jesus said that if my
kingdom was of this world, thenwould not my angels come and
fight on my behalf?
(04:53):
But my kingdom is not of thisworld.
So, as you move towards thevoting season, remember that you
represent God's kingdom firstand foremost, and keep that in
the forefront of your mind.
China deploys a record 125warplanes and large-scale
military drill and warning totaiwan.
(05:14):
This has continuously gone onfor a while now.
On october 14th, associatedpress says that 125 aircraft and
aircraft carriers and ships alarge scale exercise surrounding
Taiwan.
Why would you have a largescale exercise surrounding
Taiwan?
Well, if you don't follow thenews, you'll know, and I know,
(05:34):
that China once tied theTaiwanese people back underneath
their legislative and judicialpowers, and so that goes against
Americans' interests, if youdon't know.
So let's keep praying, becausewe know this, that war is never
the answer.
War only brings more misery,and war is a demonstration of
(05:55):
our inherent selfishness in theworld.
And so these are some very,very challenging times that
we're going through, and I justwanted to encourage you as a
listener, as a voter, as aperson who is engaged.
That's what Worship ChangePodcast is about.
It's about being engaged from abiblical context as well.
Okay, Lions, the Detroit Lionspass.
(06:18):
Rusher Adrian Hitchison needssurgery after injury to his
tibia versus the Cowboys.
I think the Cowboys lost, Ithink.
So I'm not a huge fan, but hey,it is what it is.
But let's pray for Hutchinson.
He's in Dallas area gettingsurgery.
The Lions coach, David Campbell, said that over there win
against the Cowboys.
(06:38):
Hutchinson Lake appears to havesnapped above his ankle when he
collided with a teammate duringthe game and so, man, that's a
hard, hard injury there.
So we'll keep praying for him.
In the AP polls, Oregon, PennState, moved behind number one
Texas, Army and Navy.
(06:59):
Both are ranked for the firsttime in 60 years.
Army and Navy go Navy, go, Navy, go blue.
So you guys know I'm in theNavy, so, hey, I'm a huge
college football fan.
Texas is hanging in there.
They're ranked number one.
So Texas is really climbing upthe polls there.
In the college footballrankings, Oregon is number two,
Penn State number three, OhioState number four, Georgia
(07:22):
number five and Miami Miaminumber six.
So Alabama seven for the Tigers, LSU number eight, Iowa State's
number nine, Clemson is numberten.
And so here's my question foryou Are you growing from the bad
(07:43):
and negative experiences inyour life?
Are you unhappy with your life?
Are you learning from the badexperiences you're having in
your life?
That is the question of today.
Scripture in the Bible saysthis.
Jesus said this in the Gospelsexcept the seed falls into the
(08:04):
ground and dies, it can notproduce fruit.
James 1, 2 through 4 saysconsider all joy when you face
various trials and many kinds oftemptations, because, knowing
that this testing of your faithproduces perseverance, Let
(08:27):
perseverance finish its work sothat you may be mature, complete
and lacking nothing.
There are three things I wantto share with you, and I want
you to think about this as weconsider are we learning from
the bad experiences in our life?
First thing that we got toremember, y'all, is that when we
(08:50):
are optimistic, when we'reoptimistic, we put ourselves in
the best possible position tomanage bad experiences Okay.
When we are optimistic, we putourselves in the best possible
position to manage unfortunateor negative in or negative
experiences, okay.
(09:10):
So the first one is how are you, what's your posture, what's
your stance toward negativeexperiences in your life?
What's your frame of mind aboutthe negative experience?
What's your attitude, what areyour assumptions and what are
your expectations about thenegative experiences you have in
your life, Be it money, yourgoals, your health, your future?
(09:33):
Are you optimistic or are youpessimistic?
If you're a pessimistic person.
Everything is gloom and doom,right.
So the first point we got toremember is, if we're going to
take negative experiences andwe're going to use these things
to transform our lives, then wehave to have a positive frame of
(09:53):
mind, Not just with our goalsand where we want to go, but
thinking about what Jesus saidin the scripture right, Except
to see, falls into the ground,consider it all joy.
That means that the frame ofmind about money, health, goals,
future, your job, work you haveto have a positive mindset.
Why?
Because a positive mindset setsyou up for the best possible
(10:19):
position to give it over thosenegative experiences and use
them in order to help you.
A perfect example would be howdo you feel about going to work
this morning?
Do you like your job or do younot?
And if you don't, how can youturn that switch and use that
situation, or use these feelingsabout where you are and turn it
(10:42):
around in a positive way anduse it for your benefit.
Number two you have to let thenegative experiences that you're
going through today promptcreativity.
A lot of negative experiencesto prompt creativity.
John Maxwell, which is whatmost of this is coming from.
John Maxwell, 15 Inviable Lawsof Growth.
(11:05):
We're going to go through thisfor the next few months.
I'm sorry I should havementioned it at the beginning,
but this is very important.
So, number two you have to turnpain into gain, turn pain into
gain.
So, one you feel the negativeexperiences whether that be
rejection, the consequences ofbad choices you've made and
change that around for good,right.
(11:28):
So a personal example for me iswhen I had a team that I put
together and I realized thatthis was the church plant and I
realized that we all had theright mindset, but we didn't all
have the right culturalexpectations what kind of
culture we were building.
So, yes, you can have peoplewho are gifted.
(11:51):
You have the gifted musicians.
You can have gifted people infinance.
You can have gifted people inteaching classes.
You have gifted people inassimilation, which is bringing
in new people in the church, andteaching classes.
You have gifted people inassimilation, which is bringing
in new people in the church.
But if you don't have the samecultural mindset of how we're
building these things and how weare putting these pieces into
place and everybody's doingtheir own thing, you're not
(12:11):
building the culture that youneed to build.
Okay, so I had to turn thataround that negative experience
and be more creative.
Being more creative meaningthat I had to turn that around
that negative experience and bemore creative.
Being more creative meaningthat I had to look at
unconventional ways in order todeal with this problem, and so
one of the things that I did wasI started hiring people who
(12:34):
were in Bible college and at thelocal community college to come
and help me do those things.
But I got those people to comein after interviewing them and
finding out what kind of culturedid they come from, or when I
gave them the vision for myculture that I was trying to
build.
Okay then, if they fit thatculture or they fit that mindset
(13:00):
, yes, but if they didn't guesswhat, I didn't bring them on.
So there is nothing unbiblicalabout going through bad
experiences.
It's about what you do with theexperiences that you have.
Number three you have toembrace the value of negative
(13:20):
experiences.
Where there is no struggle,there is no progress.
Difficulties must becomeopportunities.
Pain helps us to do one thingwhat Causes us to change?
If you're unhealthy and youhave a heart attack or you're
struggling with physicaldiseases because you're not
working out, what does that do?
It prompts you to make changes?
(13:44):
Okay, it prompts you to makechanges.
So, once again, three things wegot to keep in mind.
Number one positive stance orpositive posture.
What is your attitude,expectations and assumptions
about what you're going through,Be it money, goal, health, your
future finances?
About what you're going through, be it money, goal, health,
your future finances and orrelationships?
(14:10):
Two let negative experiencesturn them around with creativity
.
Okay, Turning pain into gain.
Number three embrace the valueof negative experiences.
And why is that important?
Because when we embrace thevalue, what does it do?
It helps us to make changes.
Now here's some more practicalsteps.
Okay, Some more practical steps.
The scripture says that thepurpose of a person's heart this
(14:30):
is in Proverbs 25, the purposesof a person's heart are like
deep waters, but the one who hasinsight draws it out right.
Problems often force us toexplore the depths of our own
heart and grow in wisdom andunderstanding.
Did y'all just hear that?
(14:50):
That was a?
I apologize about that.
That's so funny, Anyway.
And so what does that mean?
Here's what that means in areal sense.
One of the practical steps thatyou can take to help turn
negative experiences is thisvalue of self-reflection.
It involves examining yourthought patterns regarding the
(15:13):
experiences you're going through.
Self-reflecting includes askingquestions and opinion asking
people closest to you.
It includes journaling.
It includes sitting in silenceand see what bubbles to the
surface.
I tell people all the time okay, consider the questions when
you're in meditation or sittingin silence.
(15:35):
Do you like the face you see inthe mirror?
All right, Are you creating thelife you want?
Where are your thoughts aboutthe point of view point of view
of life?
These are practical steps thatyou can take, right, that can
help you further grow and takenegative experiences and use
(16:00):
them in positive ways.
Now here's some of the mythsabout personal growth.
Right, when we start talkingabout personal growth, there's a
few myths you need, you and Ineed to debunk, right.
No, personal growth is notperfect.
Right, but there are somecommon myths.
One of them is that personalgrowth requires too much effort.
I would argue that it doesn't.
(16:20):
That's a misconception.
Right, there's many things thatyou're doing, that you've done
for many, many years that leadstoward personal growth.
Right, when you get up in themorning, what do you do?
You pray.
That's a feed of personalgrowth.
That's a feature of personalgrowth.
When you get up in the morning.
What do you do?
Do you stretch?
That's a feature of personalgrowth, Okay, Do you?
(16:48):
When you get up in the morningor as you go throughout your day
, do you read?
That's a feature of personalgrowth.
Do you read or build, inspireyourself through your own
reading and processing?
That's a part of personalgrowth.
Another misconception is youneed a guru.
No, you don't.
I'm not a guru, I'm justhelping guide us along the path.
Right, but when you participatein these different kinds of
things, you are, in essence,participating in personal growth
(17:12):
, okay, so what I would suggestyou to do in this case is pay
attention to your dailyactivities and things that
hinder you from your dailyactivities that contribute to
you taking these negativeexperiences and using them in a
positive light.
Ok, and so, again, these aresome things that can help you.
(17:35):
Another practical I like tocall them prac apps strategies
you can use, as one you got toadopt after you adopt that
positive mindset.
Right, you need to understand ifyou're processing negative
experiences in a healthy orunhealthy way.
(17:56):
In a healthy or unhealthy way,how can you differentiate
between the two?
Okay, and the first thing Iwould do is say check your
habits.
Unhealthy ways of copingincludes overindulging in things
that make you happy, Okay.
Are you drinking too much?
(18:17):
Are you playing excessivelyinstead of excessively, instead
of balancing play and work?
Are you ignoring people wholove you?
Are you disengaged from others?
(18:37):
Are you isolating yourself?
Are you not practicing dailydisciplines or meditation or
prayer?
Are you not reading scripturedaily?
Okay, these are some of thesigns that you're not processing
negative experiences in apositive light.
On the other hand, if you'reprocessing them positively, it
involves being able to sit withthe challenges and ask yourself
questions, to admit when you'vedone wrong, To admit things are
(19:01):
not the way you want them to go.
If you're struggling withmeditation yet you still
practice it you are handling itwell.
Do you choose more challengingthings instead of taking the
easy way out?
This is another sign, anotherstrategy, right that you can use
to say, hey, I'm processingthis well.
(19:23):
Other strategy, right that youcan use to say, hey, I'm
processing this well.
Right, Are you askingclarifying questions of yourself
and distinctions?
Are you willing to listen?
Sitting in silence or inmeditation is a wonderful way I
might add, a wonderful way ofhelping you to deal with
negative experiences.
(19:45):
And, lastly, having a healthysupport system is essential
right.
Having people around you canhelp you see the blind spots
that you don't see.
They can motivate you whenyou're not motivating yourself.
They can help give you honestfeedback about the decisions you
make and they can help pointyou honest feedback about the
decisions you make and they canhelp point you in the right
(20:06):
direction to get and gainadditional help like a counselor
or therapist.
Okay, and I'm going to bewriting an ebook on this and I'm
working on that right now andI'm going to share with all of
my listeners for free.
So when, when I finish writingit hopefully by the end of
November then I will get it outto you guys and you'll be able
(20:27):
to just download it, simply,okay, and it'll be there for you
.
So, once again, a couple ofthings we talked about here
right, Handling negativeexperiences will help us.
Why?
Number one have a positivestance.
Number two you have to what?
Let negativities promptcreativity.
Number one have a positivestance.
Number two you have to what?
Let negativities promptcreativity.
Number three embrace the value,because the value is that it
(20:50):
makes changes, helps you to makechanges, and then the
strategies can be growth.
You can grow by what Sitting insilence, meditating,
recognizing whether or notyou're using a meditation or you
I'm sorry you recognize whetheror not you are using negative
(21:12):
experiences in a positive light.
Reflecting upon usingreflection as a strategy, right,
Debunking the myths.
Right, Pay attention to yourdaily activities.
These are ways that you canfigure out if you are using
negative experiences in apositive light and knowing the
(21:35):
signs of a healthy versusunhealthy way of dealing with
negative experiences.
These are all tools that canhelp you right, and I just want
to share this with you.
Just to kind of go back to mypersonal experience, because it
does matter, when I eventuallydecided that I wasn't building
(21:57):
the culture that I wanted tobuild at that church, right,
that I wasn't building thesociety that I wanted to build
at that church, right, that Iwasn't building the society that
I wanted to build at thatchurch, it caused me to ask some
very, very deep and clarifyingquestions, and I learned that
from that negative experiencewhen I walked away from it,
because eventually guess what,y'all?
I had to end up closing thatchurch, and that was sort of
(22:18):
like the death of dreams almost.
But God provided a way and wewere able to do some other
things that were very similar towhat we were doing but build a
community in another way, andGod blessed that whole situation
.
But here's what I learned fromthat negative experience.
I learned that I needed to getbetter at discerning character.
(22:38):
I remember, man, the day beforewe had our first launch of our
first service, people calleddidn't even call me, they text
me and said they couldn't bethere, that they changed their
mind.
This is on launch day and I wasfreaking out, right, Because
these people played an essentialpart.
People that I had ate dinnerwith and hung out with and did a
(22:59):
lot of family and communitybuilding and relationship
building, changed their mind atthe last minute.
And that taught me something.
Number one I needed to have abetter judge of character.
Number two I need to ask peopleclarifying questions.
Number three I need tochallenge my own leadership
abilities and I needed to growat them.
Number three I had the rightperspective, but how I executed
(23:24):
that needed to be shored up more, needed to be more foolproof.
Now, you can't predicteverything.
Everything you try, everythingwe attempt, sometimes things
just won't work out, and that'sokay.
It's all about what you learn.
I learned a lot and it took meyears to bounce back from that
experience right.
I learned a lot and it took meyears to bounce back from that
experience Right, but when Ibounce back, it taught me a lot
(23:47):
and I still use the what Ilearned from that experience
today to help me build now andinto the future.
Ok, and so listen, guys.
I am so grateful that you havebeen with us again the Words for
Change podcast.
Please don't forget to sharethis with someone that you have
been with us again for the Wordsfor Change podcast.
Please don't forget to sharethis with someone that you know
(24:07):
it can benefit.
It will help them.
And listen, we are continuingto pressure on.
Thank you, guys, for being herewith us for our 80th episode
and we look forward to our nextpodcast episode that will be
released Guess what?
The day before Halloween, onthe 29th.
So God bless you.
You guys, Keep God first andremember to keep growing right,
(24:32):
Because growth difficulties areinevitable, but growth is
optional.
All right, See you on October,the 29th, Peace.
Well, that's it for our newssegment today.
(24:59):
Thank you.
Well, good morning.
Words for Change podcast.
I have a quote for you.
Quote says this pain andnegative experiences are
inevitable, but growth fromthose experiences is optional.
Are you growing from thenegative experiences you're
having in your life?
Well, in this episode we'regonna talk a little bit about
(00:24):
how you can grow from negativeexperiences, what it means when
you go through negativeexperiences, and maybe even
suggest another strategy forgetting through them in a
different perspective.
About negative experiences hereon October the 14th man.
This is a special episodebecause it is our 80th episode.
(00:47):
That's right, our 80th episode.
So thanks and hats off to thoseof you who've been with us
through this entire journey.
We've tried our best to getbetter at producing podcast
episodes as well as our YouTubepage.
Make sure you go check that out.
Words for Change YouTube pageon YouTube, where you can see
(01:09):
different kind of episodes.
We do the message in the wordthere as well, but it's a little
bit different how we do it tohelp cater to that platform.
Audio.
This is the fun part.
I love doing audio podcasts andso to those of you, thank you
for your continued support.
Don't forget in the descriptionyou can also send a message
(01:32):
just to say thank you.
Yes, this resonated with me.
Just click that button thereand that message will go
directly to me and I willrespond.
You can even recommend futureepisodes that you would like to
hear from as well.
Well, y'all know what day it isright.
Well, we have a lot to coverhere.
(01:56):
On October 15th, SpaceX itsengineers, have launched its 400
foot blast rocket and hasreturned that rocket back to its
(02:18):
space pad, and so they'rereally happy about that, because
this is the uh.
This means that this rocket canbe reused.
So that is a major, majoraccomplishment from the spacex
team.
So which is moving them furthertoward their goals of uh, just
(02:41):
moving them further toward theirgoal of commercialized space
flight, which is to go forSpaceX.
What else do we have in the news?
Florida neighbors are bandingtogether as they began the
recovery efforts in theaftermath of Helena, Hurricanes
Helena and Milton.
So our prayers are out to thatthose individuals and families
(03:05):
and perhaps you have familymembers who were affected by
Hurricane Helena and HurricaneMilton down in Tampa, Florida,
where many, many floods ruinedmany homes, many dreams, and so
let's keep those who areaffected and our family members
who've been affected Hopefullythere has been no loss of life
from someone that you know,people that you are close to
(03:27):
doing this time, andunfortunately, in St Petersburg,
Florida, from the pulpit somewould say, is on the Associated
Press that Harris calls outTrump for hurricane
misinformation.
There has been informationstated in the news used by
presidential candidates that Ithink they said some people are
(03:50):
saying the Democrats wereresponsible for inciting the
hurricane.
What a crazy thing.
But also I just hate the factthat we use these kind of
natural disasters as politicalfodder, if you will.
So a Cornelia Christian churchdown in Florida.
(04:12):
The president said the church.
There are some who are notacting in the spirit of
community, and I'm not speakingof these who have been literally
telling the truth, but aboutthose lying, about people who
are working hard to help folksin need, spreading
disinformation when the truthand facts are required.
(04:32):
Harris said so.
She's referring to PresidentDonald Trump and listen.
You all know that we are in afull swing and there have those
of you who listen to thispodcast are on both sides of the
aisle, but I want to encourageyou that Jesus said that if my
kingdom was of this world, thenwould not my angels come and
fight on my behalf?
(04:53):
But my kingdom is not of thisworld.
So, as you move towards thevoting season, remember that you
represent God's kingdom firstand foremost, and keep that in
the forefront of your mind.
China deploys a record 125warplanes and large-scale
military drill and warning totaiwan.
(05:14):
This has continuously gone onfor a while now.
On october 14th, associatedpress says that 125 aircraft and
aircraft carriers and ships alarge scale exercise surrounding
Taiwan.
Why would you have a largescale exercise surrounding
Taiwan?
Well, if you don't follow thenews, you'll know, and I know,
(05:34):
that China once tied theTaiwanese people back underneath
their legislative and judicialpowers, and so that goes against
Americans' interests, if youdon't know.
So let's keep praying, becausewe know this, that war is never
the answer.
War only brings more misery,and war is a demonstration of
(05:55):
our inherent selfishness in theworld.
And so these are some very,very challenging times that
we're going through, and I justwanted to encourage you as a
listener, as a voter, as aperson who is engaged.
That's what Worship ChangePodcast is about.
It's about being engaged from abiblical context as well.
Okay, Lions, the Detroit Lionspass.
(06:18):
Rusher Adrian Hitchison needssurgery after injury to his
tibia versus the Cowboys.
I think the Cowboys lost, Ithink.
So I'm not a huge fan, but hey,it is what it is.
But let's pray for Hutchinson.
He's in Dallas area gettingsurgery.
The Lions coach, David Campbell, said that over there win
against the Cowboys.
(06:38):
Hutchinson Lake appears to havesnapped above his ankle when he
collided with a teammate duringthe game and so, man, that's a
hard, hard injury there.
So we'll keep praying for him.
In the AP polls, Oregon, PennState, moved behind number one
Texas, Army and Navy.
(06:59):
Both are ranked for the firsttime in 60 years.
Army and Navy go Navy, go, Navy, go blue.
So you guys know I'm in theNavy, so, hey, I'm a huge
college football fan.
Texas is hanging in there.
They're ranked number one.
So Texas is really climbing upthe polls there.
In the college footballrankings, Oregon is number two,
Penn State number three, OhioState number four, Georgia
(07:22):
number five and Miami Miaminumber six.
So Alabama seven for the Tigers, LSU number eight, Iowa State's
number nine, Clemson is numberten.
And so here's my question foryou Are you growing from the bad
(07:43):
and negative experiences inyour life?
Are you unhappy with your life?
Are you learning from the badexperiences you're having in
your life?
That is the question of today.
Scripture in the Bible saysthis.
Jesus said this in the Gospelsexcept the seed falls into the
(08:04):
ground and dies, it can notproduce fruit.
James 1, 2 through 4 saysconsider all joy when you face
various trials and many kinds oftemptations, because, knowing
that this testing of your faithproduces perseverance, Let
(08:27):
perseverance finish its work sothat you may be mature, complete
and lacking nothing.
There are three things I wantto share with you, and I want
you to think about this as weconsider are we learning from
the bad experiences in our life?
First thing that we got toremember, y'all, is that when we
(08:50):
are optimistic, when we'reoptimistic, we put ourselves in
the best possible position tomanage bad experiences Okay.
When we are optimistic, we putourselves in the best possible
position to manage unfortunateor negative in or negative
experiences, okay.
(09:10):
So the first one is how are you, what's your posture, what's
your stance toward negativeexperiences in your life?
What's your frame of mind aboutthe negative experience?
What's your attitude, what areyour assumptions and what are
your expectations about thenegative experiences you have in
your life, Be it money, yourgoals, your health, your future?
(09:33):
Are you optimistic or are youpessimistic?
If you're a pessimistic person.
Everything is gloom and doom,right.
So the first point we got toremember is, if we're going to
take negative experiences andwe're going to use these things
to transform our lives, then wehave to have a positive frame of
(09:53):
mind, Not just with our goalsand where we want to go, but
thinking about what Jesus saidin the scripture right, Except
to see, falls into the ground,consider it all joy.
That means that the frame ofmind about money, health, goals,
future, your job, work you haveto have a positive mindset.
Why?
Because a positive mindset setsyou up for the best possible
(10:19):
position to give it over thosenegative experiences and use
them in order to help you.
A perfect example would be howdo you feel about going to work
this morning?
Do you like your job or do younot?
And if you don't, how can youturn that switch and use that
situation, or use these feelingsabout where you are and turn it
(10:42):
around in a positive way anduse it for your benefit.
Number two you have to let thenegative experiences that you're
going through today promptcreativity.
A lot of negative experiencesto prompt creativity.
John Maxwell, which is whatmost of this is coming from.
John Maxwell, 15 Inviable Lawsof Growth.
(11:05):
We're going to go through thisfor the next few months.
I'm sorry I should havementioned it at the beginning,
but this is very important.
So, number two you have to turnpain into gain, turn pain into
gain.
So, one you feel the negativeexperiences whether that be
rejection, the consequences ofbad choices you've made and
change that around for good,right.
(11:28):
So a personal example for me iswhen I had a team that I put
together and I realized thatthis was the church plant and I
realized that we all had theright mindset, but we didn't all
have the right culturalexpectations what kind of
culture we were building.
So, yes, you can have peoplewho are gifted.
(11:51):
You have the gifted musicians.
You can have gifted people infinance.
You can have gifted people inteaching classes.
You have gifted people inassimilation, which is bringing
in new people in the church, andteaching classes.
You have gifted people inassimilation, which is bringing
in new people in the church.
But if you don't have the samecultural mindset of how we're
building these things and how weare putting these pieces into
place and everybody's doingtheir own thing, you're not
(12:11):
building the culture that youneed to build.
Okay, so I had to turn thataround that negative experience
and be more creative.
Being more creative meaningthat I had to turn that around
that negative experience and bemore creative.
Being more creative meaningthat I had to look at
unconventional ways in order todeal with this problem, and so
one of the things that I did wasI started hiring people who
(12:34):
were in Bible college and at thelocal community college to come
and help me do those things.
But I got those people to comein after interviewing them and
finding out what kind of culturedid they come from, or when I
gave them the vision for myculture that I was trying to
build.
Okay then, if they fit thatculture or they fit that mindset
(13:00):
, yes, but if they didn't guesswhat, I didn't bring them on.
So there is nothing unbiblicalabout going through bad
experiences.
It's about what you do with theexperiences that you have.
Number three you have toembrace the value of negative
(13:20):
experiences.
Where there is no struggle,there is no progress.
Difficulties must becomeopportunities.
Pain helps us to do one thingwhat Causes us to change?
If you're unhealthy and youhave a heart attack or you're
struggling with physicaldiseases because you're not
working out, what does that do?
It prompts you to make changes?
(13:44):
Okay, it prompts you to makechanges.
So, once again, three things wegot to keep in mind.
Number one positive stance orpositive posture.
What is your attitude,expectations and assumptions
about what you're going through,Be it money, goal, health, your
future finances?
About what you're going through, be it money, goal, health,
your future finances and orrelationships?
(14:10):
Two let negative experiencesturn them around with creativity
.
Okay, Turning pain into gain.
Number three embrace the valueof negative experiences.
And why is that important?
Because when we embrace thevalue, what does it do?
It helps us to make changes.
Now here's some more practicalsteps.
Okay, Some more practical steps.
The scripture says that thepurpose of a person's heart this
(14:30):
is in Proverbs 25, the purposesof a person's heart are like
deep waters, but the one who hasinsight draws it out right.
Problems often force us toexplore the depths of our own
heart and grow in wisdom andunderstanding.
Did y'all just hear that?
(14:50):
That was a?
I apologize about that.
That's so funny, Anyway.
And so what does that mean?
Here's what that means in areal sense.
One of the practical steps thatyou can take to help turn
negative experiences is thisvalue of self-reflection.
It involves examining yourthought patterns regarding the
(15:13):
experiences you're going through.
Self-reflecting includes askingquestions and opinion asking
people closest to you.
It includes journaling.
It includes sitting in silenceand see what bubbles to the
surface.
I tell people all the time okay, consider the questions when
you're in meditation or sittingin silence.
(15:35):
Do you like the face you see inthe mirror?
All right, Are you creating thelife you want?
Where are your thoughts aboutthe point of view point of view
of life?
These are practical steps thatyou can take, right, that can
help you further grow and takenegative experiences and use
(16:00):
them in positive ways.
Now here's some of the mythsabout personal growth.
Right, when we start talkingabout personal growth, there's a
few myths you need, you and Ineed to debunk, right.
No, personal growth is notperfect.
Right, but there are somecommon myths.
One of them is that personalgrowth requires too much effort.
I would argue that it doesn't.
(16:20):
That's a misconception.
Right, there's many things thatyou're doing, that you've done
for many, many years that leadstoward personal growth.
Right, when you get up in themorning, what do you do?
You pray.
That's a feed of personalgrowth.
That's a feature of personalgrowth.
When you get up in the morning.
What do you do?
Do you stretch?
That's a feature of personalgrowth, Okay, Do you?
(16:48):
When you get up in the morningor as you go throughout your day
, do you read?
That's a feature of personalgrowth.
Do you read or build, inspireyourself through your own
reading and processing?
That's a part of personalgrowth.
Another misconception is youneed a guru.
No, you don't.
I'm not a guru, I'm justhelping guide us along the path.
Right, but when you participatein these different kinds of
things, you are, in essence,participating in personal growth
(17:12):
, okay, so what I would suggestyou to do in this case is pay
attention to your dailyactivities and things that
hinder you from your dailyactivities that contribute to
you taking these negativeexperiences and using them in a
positive light.
Ok, and so, again, these aresome things that can help you.
(17:35):
Another practical I like tocall them prac apps strategies
you can use, as one you got toadopt after you adopt that
positive mindset.
Right, you need to understand ifyou're processing negative
experiences in a healthy orunhealthy way.
(17:56):
In a healthy or unhealthy way,how can you differentiate
between the two?
Okay, and the first thing Iwould do is say check your
habits.
Unhealthy ways of copingincludes overindulging in things
that make you happy, Okay.
Are you drinking too much?
(18:17):
Are you playing excessivelyinstead of excessively, instead
of balancing play and work?
Are you ignoring people wholove you?
Are you disengaged from others?
(18:37):
Are you isolating yourself?
Are you not practicing dailydisciplines or meditation or
prayer?
Are you not reading scripturedaily?
Okay, these are some of thesigns that you're not processing
negative experiences in apositive light.
On the other hand, if you'reprocessing them positively, it
involves being able to sit withthe challenges and ask yourself
questions, to admit when you'vedone wrong, To admit things are
(19:01):
not the way you want them to go.
If you're struggling withmeditation yet you still
practice it you are handling itwell.
Do you choose more challengingthings instead of taking the
easy way out?
This is another sign, anotherstrategy, right that you can use
to say, hey, I'm processingthis well.
(19:23):
Other strategy, right that youcan use to say, hey, I'm
processing this well.
Right, Are you askingclarifying questions of yourself
and distinctions?
Are you willing to listen?
Sitting in silence or inmeditation is a wonderful way I
might add, a wonderful way ofhelping you to deal with
negative experiences.
(19:45):
And, lastly, having a healthysupport system is essential
right.
Having people around you canhelp you see the blind spots
that you don't see.
They can motivate you whenyou're not motivating yourself.
They can help give you honestfeedback about the decisions you
make and they can help pointyou honest feedback about the
decisions you make and they canhelp point you in the right
(20:06):
direction to get and gainadditional help like a counselor
or therapist.
Okay, and I'm going to bewriting an ebook on this and I'm
working on that right now andI'm going to share with all of
my listeners for free.
So when, when I finish writingit hopefully by the end of
November then I will get it outto you guys and you'll be able
(20:27):
to just download it, simply,okay, and it'll be there for you
.
So, once again, a couple ofthings we talked about here
right, Handling negativeexperiences will help us.
Why?
Number one have a positivestance.
Number two you have to what?
Let negativities promptcreativity.
Number one have a positivestance.
Number two you have to what?
Let negativities promptcreativity.
Number three embrace the value,because the value is that it
(20:50):
makes changes, helps you to makechanges, and then the
strategies can be growth.
You can grow by what Sitting insilence, meditating,
recognizing whether or notyou're using a meditation or you
I'm sorry you recognize whetheror not you are using negative
(21:12):
experiences in a positive light.
Reflecting upon usingreflection as a strategy, right,
Debunking the myths.
Right, Pay attention to yourdaily activities.
These are ways that you canfigure out if you are using
negative experiences in apositive light and knowing the
(21:35):
signs of a healthy versusunhealthy way of dealing with
negative experiences.
These are all tools that canhelp you right, and I just want
to share this with you.
Just to kind of go back to mypersonal experience, because it
does matter, when I eventuallydecided that I wasn't building
(21:57):
the culture that I wanted tobuild at that church, right,
that I wasn't building thesociety that I wanted to build
at that church, right, that Iwasn't building the society that
I wanted to build at thatchurch, it caused me to ask some
very, very deep and clarifyingquestions, and I learned that
from that negative experiencewhen I walked away from it,
because eventually guess what,y'all?
I had to end up closing thatchurch, and that was sort of
(22:18):
like the death of dreams almost.
But God provided a way and wewere able to do some other
things that were very similar towhat we were doing but build a
community in another way, andGod blessed that whole situation
.
But here's what I learned fromthat negative experience.
I learned that I needed to getbetter at discerning character.
(22:38):
I remember, man, the day beforewe had our first launch of our
first service, people calleddidn't even call me, they text
me and said they couldn't bethere, that they changed their
mind.
This is on launch day and I wasfreaking out, right, Because
these people played an essentialpart.
People that I had ate dinnerwith and hung out with and did a
(22:59):
lot of family and communitybuilding and relationship
building, changed their mind atthe last minute.
And that taught me something.
Number one I needed to have abetter judge of character.
Number two I need to ask peopleclarifying questions.
Number three I need tochallenge my own leadership
abilities and I needed to growat them.
Number three I had the rightperspective, but how I executed
(23:24):
that needed to be shored up more, needed to be more foolproof.
Now, you can't predicteverything.
Everything you try, everythingwe attempt, sometimes things
just won't work out, and that'sokay.
It's all about what you learn.
I learned a lot and it took meyears to bounce back from that
experience right.
I learned a lot and it took meyears to bounce back from that
experience Right, but when Ibounce back, it taught me a lot
(23:47):
and I still use the what Ilearned from that experience
today to help me build now andinto the future.
Ok, and so listen, guys.
I am so grateful that you havebeen with us again the Words for
Change podcast.
Please don't forget to sharethis with someone that you have
been with us again for the Wordsfor Change podcast.
Please don't forget to sharethis with someone that you know
(24:07):
it can benefit.
It will help them.
And listen, we are continuingto pressure on.
Thank you, guys, for being herewith us for our 80th episode
and we look forward to our nextpodcast episode that will be
released Guess what?
The day before Halloween, onthe 29th.
So God bless you.
You guys, Keep God first andremember to keep growing right,
(24:32):
Because growth difficulties areinevitable, but growth is
optional.
All right, See you on October,the 29th, Peace.
Well, that's it for our newssegment today.
(24:59):
Thank you.
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