June 3, 2025 • 20 mins
Lost weight, found savings, still dodging man-babies. 🏃♀️💸👶🙄
Enjoy a teaser of this week's Worth The Weight episode. To listen to the full episode, subscribe here on Spotify or go to our Patreon for extra bonus content.
This week on Worth The Weight, Sarah and I are covering everything from GLP-1 chaos to the emotional rollercoaster of being noticeably smaller and mildly uncomfortable about people noticing. We're navigating the weird headspace of validation vs. self-worth vs. “am I doing this for me or for other people to say something?”
Then we dive into the absolute circus that is dating while on GLP-1s — featuring stories of men who get weird when they find out you used to be fat, dudes who are terrified you might gain weight back, and the age-old question: why are men so fragile?
PLUS: Sarah introduces me to The Ugly Stepsister — a Norwegian Cinderella retelling where tapeworms, sewn-on eyelashes, and sheer desperation meet our collective obsession with being effortlessly beautiful. Spoiler: the tapeworm is basically a metaphor for the emotional hunger we’re all carrying.
And finally, we debate whether you owe your date an explanation for not drinking, whether being sober requires disclosure, and whether men actually care how women lose weight (spoiler: men barely understand how GLP-1s work at all).
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:15):
Hey guys, it's Kristen. Welcome to a teaser of our
latest episode. If you like worth the wait and
you enjoy our dating hot takes and pop culture analysis, head
over to patreon.com/date Ology Coach and become a subscriber.
Subscribers unlock the full experience, full episodes, deep
dives, no ads, and the real talkyou're not going to hear
anywhere else. Make sure to follow us at
(00:37):
patreon.com/date Ology Coach andsubscribe and don't forget to
follow us on social media. You can follow us on Instagram
at Date Ologypod and you can follow me on TikTok at Date
Ology Coach and my character analysis.
Enjoy the episode now You sent me a movie recommendation and
(00:57):
I've watched When I first saw the first video synopsis for
this movie, I said I am not thisis I can't.
I don't know that I could stomach it, but I I did watch a
few video synopsis synopsis. I really think you should have
sprang for the whole experience.No, no, but the movie is called.
(01:19):
The ugly step sister. Ugly step sister and it's
obviously based on Cinderella. Now do you want to take it away?
Take us on a journey. I will say, OK, I'll take you on
a journey. So I think most people by now
are aware that, you know, the the Disney version of fairy
tales that we grow up with is a sanitized version of in many
(01:42):
cases, a very gory and horrific story from the Brothers Grimm.
Cinderella. Man, Cinderella is like one of
the oldest stories humanity has.So it actually predates the
Brothers Grimm by several hundreds of years.
But the Brothers Grimm version is especially Grimm, and it
(02:03):
entails in the finale when the Prince going around looking for
the shoe that fits the slipper and entails the ugly stepsisters
in their desperation, cutting off their toes to fit into the
shoe. Yeah, which of course, happens
in this movie. Like, I'm.
I'm not. That's really not a spoiler.
(02:24):
No. If you know the story of
Cinderella for real, right? I told you, I think this is my
new favorite movie, and I stand by it.
I fucking loved this movie, Kristen.
No. OK, So obviously we know the
story of Cinderella. We know the story of they wanted
the daughter to marry the Prince, and so they put the
(02:47):
daughter through the most excruciating like they put have
her get a nose job while she's awake there because there's no.
Anesthesia for a second. OK, let's do it.
Story in the in the movie beginswith, of course, the the joining
of these two families, right? It turns out both families
(03:08):
assume the other has money and that is the cause of their
union. So when the the dude dies, the
stepmother, or you know, the mother of the step sister goes
into a panic because she has no money, right?
And she's not going to get any right.
So she begins exerting pressure on her daughters to marry well.
(03:30):
Right. That sort of, yeah, as you said,
evolves into these self improvement efforts, right.
This this glow up montage. A glow up?
Not really. In in which as you mentioned,
yeah, there's a an old school nose drop that occurs, old
school eyelash extensions. By the way, these things both
(03:53):
existed like at at the time. These were real.
Yeah, setting right. They really used to sew
eyelashes on to your eyelids. And and did they really used to
ingest tapeworms? Yeah, Oh, my God.
She also, as you mentioned, adjusts tapeworms so she can
lose weight. And she tells her sister, NASA
(04:14):
Darella, her bio biological sister.
Oh, it's no big deal. You know, I got, I got the cure
from the woman who runs the finishing school that she's
attending to try to, you know, become more refined and to be,
you know, become suitable for the Prince.
Right, she tells her sister like, well, I've got the
anecdote right, so as soon as I have snagged a man, I'll just
(04:35):
swallow the anecdote back to normal.
Now the tapeworm turns out to betoo effective.
She's just like hungry, hungry, hungry all the time.
Of course it's tapeworm. We see Cinderella becoming a
little more complex, right? Becoming more sympathetic
because in the step sisters eyes, of course, like she's
threatened by her, she's like blinded by jealousy and you know
(05:00):
really kind of does everything she can to like turn her mother
against her because in her perception, you know,
Cinderella's beautiful, she's had every advantage etcetera,
etcetera. All of which is true, right?
Like you, the movie is so well done because you feel for
Cinderella and the ugly step sister and her mother, right?
(05:22):
Who's like putting through her through all these torturous glow
up methods. Like you feel bad for all of
them because they're all doing this because like they have,
they have no security otherwise,right, right.
They're all dependent on a man to take care of them.
So I don't want to say too much about it other than it's it's
(05:43):
fantastic. It is Norwegian, so you should
watch it. You know, unless you speak
Norwegian, you should watch subtitles.
But I have to say, you know, forbeing a foreign film like I it
didn't, it doesn't take you out of it.
Sometimes I feel like it does, like the process of reading can
kind of like, you know, make it less immersive.
No, I was wrapped. I loved it.
(06:05):
Obviously this story is a is about a few things, but one of
the main one it is the absolute torture women put themselves.
Through well and, and toward theend of her transformation,
right, the ugly step sister, hername is Elvira and Cinderella is
called Agnes in the in the film.So toward the end of her
(06:27):
transformation, right, Elvira gets so close to the Prince,
they're dancing at the ball, they're having a great time.
The Prince is interested in her and then Agnes walks in and he
literally drops her and that's when she goes unhinged off the
rails like fully cuckoo and I just think it's so relatable.
(06:51):
Right. To so many women, you know, that
feeling of like, I got so close,like we were almost there.
I was almost perfect. Right, right.
And that that comparing yourself, how unhealthy and
toxic and counterproductive it is to compare your.
(07:13):
Like I always say, never compareyour outsides to somebody's, or
don't compare your insides to somebody's outsides or
something, something to that effect.
We'll see this. This is so brilliantly done.
Because as much as you want to root for Elvira in the
beginning, you know, the more beautiful her exterior becomes,
the more her rage and envy, you know, just sort of like eats
(07:36):
away at her. And then you start to see the
the tables turn and you become alot more sympathetic to Agnes,
even even though she's beautifuland effortless and like things
just fall into her lap. But that's probably the
symbolism of the tapeworm, right?
Because it is it's, it's eating away at her, right?
Yes, it's a. It's a fairly obvious metaphor,
yeah. Right.
(07:57):
I love, I love metaphors. I love, I love a good metaphor.
And that's, that's what the tapeworm is the and you're
saying like as she got became more and more perfect and more
and more ideal, the smaller she got and the angrier she got and
the more unstable she got. But what?
Why is that do you think? Why?
(08:20):
What that like is. Why would she have, right?
Like, she's getting more and more beautiful, but yet why does
that make her angry? And I think it's because no
matter how much we do, we're never going to be good enough.
Well, you know what I I thought of as I was watching the scene
where Agnes comes into the ball and the Prince really drops
(08:41):
Elvira midday. I thought instantly of Carrie
Bradshaw saying some women are simply better.
But she, of course, was talking about Natasha, right?
Natasha, she's got the same allure as Agnes, right?
It's this. It's it's effortlessness.
It looks effortless. Well, I mean it.
(09:02):
Looks. Effortless.
Yeah. Right, right.
It isn't necessarily effortless because yes, she, Natasha, she
did look so polished and she wasso together and it did look
effortless. But then you find out behind the
scenes he's saying, oh, she's soboring.
He's treating her horribly. She's in a terrible marriage.
(09:25):
The exterior. We focus so much on the
exterior, just like we're doing with the weight loss.
We focus on the exterior. Can you see it?
Can you see my collarbone? Can you notice I've lost weight
rather than focusing on Oh my God you don't need 2 medications
anymore. Right, well, so I I was thinking
of Agnes like slash Cinderella. She you're right about Natasha.
(09:47):
Yes, she appeared effortless. It turned out there was more
going on there. In this movie with Agnes,
there's really not like she really is effortless and things
just are easy for her with with the obvious exception of, you
know, she lost her dad. So it sort of touches on pretty
privilege. For sure it it's very, it's like
(10:09):
if you like Black Swan, which I also love.
Yes, I did like that movie too. Yes, I love that movie.
If you like Black Swan, you're gonna like the ugly step sister.
I cannot endorse it enough. It's so of this moment.
It's so fucking good. I, you know, could continue to
(10:29):
talk about it, but you don't sayit, so that's probably good.
Well, I like the themes and I and you can you could grasp the
themes just from watching the video, right?
The synopsis, like you, you understood what this movie was
about, right? It was or what it was a
representation of what it was a metaphor for.
(10:52):
And it is it's it's for me, it'sthe amount of pain we put
ourselves through to be perceived as perfect or
beautiful. And even when we do it,
especially if we do it for to get a partner, specifically a
man, they either don't notice itor they take it for granted, or
they always think they can do better.
(11:14):
Yeah, right. They always think they can do
better. And then you have the the
tapeworm, which is just eating away at her and she's becoming
more and more miserable. And I, I'm, I'm still trying to
understand why was she becoming miserable?
Is it because? Why?
Is it because it was so effortless?
I think she's more becoming. Resentful.
(11:38):
I think the best word is hungry.It's like, it's like it, it
becomes about winning. And now it's within sight.
It's within reach. She's got a hunger for it.
So she's literally hungry because she ate a tapeworm,
right? But she's just, she's, she's got
this hunger. She's got a win.
And it's not about the Prince. It's about.
(12:01):
It's about Agnes. Yeah, there is so much.
I think there's so much performativeness.
Is that a word that we do for other women?
Right. We do a lot for the I just said
it. My, my I, I want compliments
from other women more than I want them from men.
You know, as we're talking aboutthis, I, I think this is, I
(12:22):
think I may have had a, a realization.
So I mentioned before, I haven'ttold anybody I'm on this weight
loss journey. I've told anybody I'm on the,
I'm on the shot. And I still don't know if I
will. I mean, I guess if someone like
straight up asked me, I probablywouldn't lie.
(12:45):
But I told anybody, I think because I don't want to be seen
trying. You will not catch me appearing
to be trying. Why?
Because I want to be effortless.Oh my.
God, is that what we're strivingfor now?
I mean, I'm just speaking over myself.
(13:06):
I don't know. Is that weird?
Are you not? I don't.
I don't know. I'm just sharing.
To make it look effortless. Well, well, just like my just
like my whole, you know, my whole being.
That's the vibe. We don't want to be a try hard.
You will you will not perceive me attempting to struggle.
I'm not, I'm not going to, I'm not going to put that out in the
world. But I'm still not following.
(13:27):
Well, OK, that's fair. What do you mean you're not
following? Like you don't know what I mean.
What is? What's the big deal about
struggling? I that I can't explain, I can.
I can only tell you how I wish to be perceived and it is not as
though I'm trying hard at anything.
(13:48):
I have to say I have learned an awful lot about you through this
process. Yeah, that's probably.
True, right. I I really have because you are
the absolute last person that I would think would say something
like. That Whoa, really?
Yes, yes, absolutely. I Why is that?
(14:10):
Because I always had the impression of you that you just
didn't care what anybody thought.
To some extent that is true. But as you know, as we move
through the world, I think we wealways move about as though
we're being perceived even if noone is watching.
(14:30):
And so, yeah, even if no one is watching.
Like you, I don't know. I just I wouldn't want to be
perceived as a try hard at anything.
Well, there's a big difference between a try hard and
struggling. I don't want to be a try hard
either. Like I don't want anybody to
watch me and go oh God, I'm cringing second hand
embarrassing. She just tries so hard.
(14:53):
Right, OK. But that, to me isn't
struggling. Like, I don't care if people
know I'm taking a shot to lose weight.
Yeah, I don't care. We'll see.
I, I guess I wouldn't, I don't know.
I don't know if I would categorize that as struggling.
What I think of struggling, I think of like struggle meals,
like depression and like, you know, like you're just, you're
(15:13):
not doing well mentally. Okay, okay, now I'm getting it.
All right, thank you. The Struggle bus.
Yeah, exactly. The struggle bus that's you have
to put it in simpler terms for me to get well.
Like I said, I it's just like a realization I had as we were
talking. So yeah, I'm sorry if I if I
wasn't clear about what I meant,but I guess that's it.
(15:35):
I don't know. I think that's all I have to say
about that. Unless.
Right, moving on to the next topic.
And now we're our two worlds aremeeting here, they're colliding.
There was an article about dating on Ozempic.
Yes. And do you want to read some
excerpts to us? Sure.
So this is from the Cut, our oldfriend, the cut.
(15:55):
We have, you know, we have a little preface about the the
setting. We're we're all familiar with
the setting because we have a whole podcast about it.
So I'm going to just jump into the profiles.
So first we have Miranda Hall 33from New York.
Very, very good name Miranda Hall.
(16:16):
I see what you're doing. Miranda Hobbs.
Miranda Hall. I thought it was an Annie Hall
reference. These are all obviously
pseudonyms, but OK. Annie who?
So we have Miranda Hall, 33, NewYork.
She says I never pursued weight loss before GLP one,
medications. Now here.
Here's where she loses me. I've never heard this term.
You tell me if you have, She says.
I was a Class 3 obese person until last year.
(16:41):
I don't know what that means. Either, I've literally never
heard that. I don't know, maybe she's
English. Not sure what class 3 obese
means, but in any case, she says.
I was a class 3 obese person until last year when I heard
about celebrities using Ozempic and decided to try it for
myself. When I started taking some of
(17:04):
glutide, there were a lot of physical effects I didn't
consider, like how my clothes wouldn't fit anymore, or that I
would lose 2 1/2 shoe sizes. That's interesting, really.
Or that my hair would fall out? Or that losing almost 150 lbs
would dramatically change how myface looked.
I didn't have any issues dating before I lost weight.
I was a cute fat person. I got everything I wanted.
(17:26):
Now the dudes that I think are hot are not having it anymore.
They're not into me at all. It makes me look, makes me feel
like I looked better before. Still, I hit the apps quite hard
in January and recently I went on a date every night of the
week. The medication has made finding
someone to hang out with long term more challenging and
unexpected ways. Because I've been sober since
(17:48):
taking Ozempic. Now I'm happy to have a Diet
Coke and go on a dinner date, but it seems to come up as an
issue pretty frequently. People automatically assume I
have a substance abuse problem and they'll ask, are you ever
going to drink again? Well, I was navigating the world
as a fat person. People could see that I was fat.
Now people can't tell that I used to be fat unless I tell
them first. I've had conversations where men
(18:10):
have said rude or cruel things about others or that they would
never date someone fat. One time a guy I was seeing came
to my apartment and saw framed photos of me when I was bigger.
We had never spoken about my weight loss, but right after he
broke things off without any explanation.
My theory is that it's because he saw me at a larger size.
My feeling is that many people feel a stigma not only toward
(18:31):
fat people, but also former fat people and former fat people who
lost weight on AGLP 1 drug. So it's a lot to wrap your head
around. I don't know that I've ever
thought about an ideal relationship at any weight.
I've always just dated just to make out with hot guys, which is
what I'm doing now. I'm not looking for something
that I feel is missing, and I'm not optimistic or otherwise
(18:53):
about finding something in the future because I haven't lost
anything. That's interesting.
Lot to unpack. Yeah, there's a lot.
Because it really sounds to me like her identity was tied up in
her body, in her weight. Yeah.
And when she lost the weight, she lost her identity.
She didn't know who she was anymore, or at the very least
(19:13):
she wasn't comfortable with this.
Quote UN quote, new person. Well, this is, I mean, you know,
we all do this to an extent, right?
But what we're seeing is someonewho is letting other people's
perceptions define her. Yeah, I also think that the guy,
when he stopped, when he ghostedor broke, broke things off after
he saw pictures. I think he worried, oh, is she
(19:34):
going to? Is she going to gain this way?
Back. Oh that's absolutely why he
ghosted, yes. Right.
All right, Sarah, you got any final thoughts?
I think we had a lot of hot takes today.
We had a lot of I I look forwardto more hot takes in the future.
At some point, Kristen, I want to talk about gatekeeping.
OK, just. Just, you know, our darkest
impulses as women. Oh yeah.
(19:56):
Let's get into. That at some point.
All right, we'll do. We'll talk about that in the
next episode. OK, we'll do that.
All right. OK guys, you know what to do
Send me your questions. Hello at didologycoach.com.
Make sure you're following me onsocial media at didologypod and
the Kristen M on Instagram and character my character analysis
and didology coach on TikTok andYouTube.
(20:18):
All right, which is warlock's these value your time decenter
men send to yourself and what Sarah?
Keep your chin up and your tits out.
Exactly. Goodbye.
Hey guys, it's Kristen. Welcome to a teaser of our
latest episode. If you like worth the wait and
you enjoy our dating hot takes and pop culture analysis, head
over to patreon.com/date Ology Coach and become a subscriber.
Subscribers unlock the full experience, full episodes, deep
dives, no ads, and the real talkyou're not going to hear
anywhere else. Make sure to follow us at
(00:37):
patreon.com/date Ology Coach andsubscribe and don't forget to
follow us on social media. You can follow us on Instagram
at Date Ologypod and you can follow me on TikTok at Date
Ology Coach and my character analysis.
Enjoy the episode now You sent me a movie recommendation and
(00:57):
I've watched When I first saw the first video synopsis for
this movie, I said I am not thisis I can't.
I don't know that I could stomach it, but I I did watch a
few video synopsis synopsis. I really think you should have
sprang for the whole experience.No, no, but the movie is called.
(01:19):
The ugly step sister. Ugly step sister and it's
obviously based on Cinderella. Now do you want to take it away?
Take us on a journey. I will say, OK, I'll take you on
a journey. So I think most people by now
are aware that, you know, the the Disney version of fairy
tales that we grow up with is a sanitized version of in many
(01:42):
cases, a very gory and horrific story from the Brothers Grimm.
Cinderella. Man, Cinderella is like one of
the oldest stories humanity has.So it actually predates the
Brothers Grimm by several hundreds of years.
But the Brothers Grimm version is especially Grimm, and it
(02:03):
entails in the finale when the Prince going around looking for
the shoe that fits the slipper and entails the ugly stepsisters
in their desperation, cutting off their toes to fit into the
shoe. Yeah, which of course, happens
in this movie. Like, I'm.
I'm not. That's really not a spoiler.
(02:24):
No. If you know the story of
Cinderella for real, right? I told you, I think this is my
new favorite movie, and I stand by it.
I fucking loved this movie, Kristen.
No. OK, So obviously we know the
story of Cinderella. We know the story of they wanted
the daughter to marry the Prince, and so they put the
(02:47):
daughter through the most excruciating like they put have
her get a nose job while she's awake there because there's no.
Anesthesia for a second. OK, let's do it.
Story in the in the movie beginswith, of course, the the joining
of these two families, right? It turns out both families
(03:08):
assume the other has money and that is the cause of their
union. So when the the dude dies, the
stepmother, or you know, the mother of the step sister goes
into a panic because she has no money, right?
And she's not going to get any right.
So she begins exerting pressure on her daughters to marry well.
(03:30):
Right. That sort of, yeah, as you said,
evolves into these self improvement efforts, right.
This this glow up montage. A glow up?
Not really. In in which as you mentioned,
yeah, there's a an old school nose drop that occurs, old
school eyelash extensions. By the way, these things both
(03:53):
existed like at at the time. These were real.
Yeah, setting right. They really used to sew
eyelashes on to your eyelids. And and did they really used to
ingest tapeworms? Yeah, Oh, my God.
She also, as you mentioned, adjusts tapeworms so she can
lose weight. And she tells her sister, NASA
(04:14):
Darella, her bio biological sister.
Oh, it's no big deal. You know, I got, I got the cure
from the woman who runs the finishing school that she's
attending to try to, you know, become more refined and to be,
you know, become suitable for the Prince.
Right, she tells her sister like, well, I've got the
anecdote right, so as soon as I have snagged a man, I'll just
(04:35):
swallow the anecdote back to normal.
Now the tapeworm turns out to betoo effective.
She's just like hungry, hungry, hungry all the time.
Of course it's tapeworm. We see Cinderella becoming a
little more complex, right? Becoming more sympathetic
because in the step sisters eyes, of course, like she's
threatened by her, she's like blinded by jealousy and you know
(05:00):
really kind of does everything she can to like turn her mother
against her because in her perception, you know,
Cinderella's beautiful, she's had every advantage etcetera,
etcetera. All of which is true, right?
Like you, the movie is so well done because you feel for
Cinderella and the ugly step sister and her mother, right?
(05:22):
Who's like putting through her through all these torturous glow
up methods. Like you feel bad for all of
them because they're all doing this because like they have,
they have no security otherwise,right, right.
They're all dependent on a man to take care of them.
So I don't want to say too much about it other than it's it's
(05:43):
fantastic. It is Norwegian, so you should
watch it. You know, unless you speak
Norwegian, you should watch subtitles.
But I have to say, you know, forbeing a foreign film like I it
didn't, it doesn't take you out of it.
Sometimes I feel like it does, like the process of reading can
kind of like, you know, make it less immersive.
No, I was wrapped. I loved it.
(06:05):
Obviously this story is a is about a few things, but one of
the main one it is the absolute torture women put themselves.
Through well and, and toward theend of her transformation,
right, the ugly step sister, hername is Elvira and Cinderella is
called Agnes in the in the film.So toward the end of her
(06:27):
transformation, right, Elvira gets so close to the Prince,
they're dancing at the ball, they're having a great time.
The Prince is interested in her and then Agnes walks in and he
literally drops her and that's when she goes unhinged off the
rails like fully cuckoo and I just think it's so relatable.
(06:51):
Right. To so many women, you know, that
feeling of like, I got so close,like we were almost there.
I was almost perfect. Right, right.
And that that comparing yourself, how unhealthy and
toxic and counterproductive it is to compare your.
(07:13):
Like I always say, never compareyour outsides to somebody's, or
don't compare your insides to somebody's outsides or
something, something to that effect.
We'll see this. This is so brilliantly done.
Because as much as you want to root for Elvira in the
beginning, you know, the more beautiful her exterior becomes,
the more her rage and envy, you know, just sort of like eats
(07:36):
away at her. And then you start to see the
the tables turn and you become alot more sympathetic to Agnes,
even even though she's beautifuland effortless and like things
just fall into her lap. But that's probably the
symbolism of the tapeworm, right?
Because it is it's, it's eating away at her, right?
Yes, it's a. It's a fairly obvious metaphor,
yeah. Right.
(07:57):
I love, I love metaphors. I love, I love a good metaphor.
And that's, that's what the tapeworm is the and you're
saying like as she got became more and more perfect and more
and more ideal, the smaller she got and the angrier she got and
the more unstable she got. But what?
Why is that do you think? Why?
(08:20):
What that like is. Why would she have, right?
Like, she's getting more and more beautiful, but yet why does
that make her angry? And I think it's because no
matter how much we do, we're never going to be good enough.
Well, you know what I I thought of as I was watching the scene
where Agnes comes into the ball and the Prince really drops
(08:41):
Elvira midday. I thought instantly of Carrie
Bradshaw saying some women are simply better.
But she, of course, was talking about Natasha, right?
Natasha, she's got the same allure as Agnes, right?
It's this. It's it's effortlessness.
It looks effortless. Well, I mean it.
(09:02):
Looks. Effortless.
Yeah. Right, right.
It isn't necessarily effortless because yes, she, Natasha, she
did look so polished and she wasso together and it did look
effortless. But then you find out behind the
scenes he's saying, oh, she's soboring.
He's treating her horribly. She's in a terrible marriage.
(09:25):
The exterior. We focus so much on the
exterior, just like we're doing with the weight loss.
We focus on the exterior. Can you see it?
Can you see my collarbone? Can you notice I've lost weight
rather than focusing on Oh my God you don't need 2 medications
anymore. Right, well, so I I was thinking
of Agnes like slash Cinderella. She you're right about Natasha.
(09:47):
Yes, she appeared effortless. It turned out there was more
going on there. In this movie with Agnes,
there's really not like she really is effortless and things
just are easy for her with with the obvious exception of, you
know, she lost her dad. So it sort of touches on pretty
privilege. For sure it it's very, it's like
(10:09):
if you like Black Swan, which I also love.
Yes, I did like that movie too. Yes, I love that movie.
If you like Black Swan, you're gonna like the ugly step sister.
I cannot endorse it enough. It's so of this moment.
It's so fucking good. I, you know, could continue to
(10:29):
talk about it, but you don't sayit, so that's probably good.
Well, I like the themes and I and you can you could grasp the
themes just from watching the video, right?
The synopsis, like you, you understood what this movie was
about, right? It was or what it was a
representation of what it was a metaphor for.
(10:52):
And it is it's it's for me, it'sthe amount of pain we put
ourselves through to be perceived as perfect or
beautiful. And even when we do it,
especially if we do it for to get a partner, specifically a
man, they either don't notice itor they take it for granted, or
they always think they can do better.
(11:14):
Yeah, right. They always think they can do
better. And then you have the the
tapeworm, which is just eating away at her and she's becoming
more and more miserable. And I, I'm, I'm still trying to
understand why was she becoming miserable?
Is it because? Why?
Is it because it was so effortless?
I think she's more becoming. Resentful.
(11:38):
I think the best word is hungry.It's like, it's like it, it
becomes about winning. And now it's within sight.
It's within reach. She's got a hunger for it.
So she's literally hungry because she ate a tapeworm,
right? But she's just, she's, she's got
this hunger. She's got a win.
And it's not about the Prince. It's about.
(12:01):
It's about Agnes. Yeah, there is so much.
I think there's so much performativeness.
Is that a word that we do for other women?
Right. We do a lot for the I just said
it. My, my I, I want compliments
from other women more than I want them from men.
You know, as we're talking aboutthis, I, I think this is, I
(12:22):
think I may have had a, a realization.
So I mentioned before, I haven'ttold anybody I'm on this weight
loss journey. I've told anybody I'm on the,
I'm on the shot. And I still don't know if I
will. I mean, I guess if someone like
straight up asked me, I probablywouldn't lie.
(12:45):
But I told anybody, I think because I don't want to be seen
trying. You will not catch me appearing
to be trying. Why?
Because I want to be effortless.Oh my.
God, is that what we're strivingfor now?
I mean, I'm just speaking over myself.
(13:06):
I don't know. Is that weird?
Are you not? I don't.
I don't know. I'm just sharing.
To make it look effortless. Well, well, just like my just
like my whole, you know, my whole being.
That's the vibe. We don't want to be a try hard.
You will you will not perceive me attempting to struggle.
I'm not, I'm not going to, I'm not going to put that out in the
world. But I'm still not following.
(13:27):
Well, OK, that's fair. What do you mean you're not
following? Like you don't know what I mean.
What is? What's the big deal about
struggling? I that I can't explain, I can.
I can only tell you how I wish to be perceived and it is not as
though I'm trying hard at anything.
(13:48):
I have to say I have learned an awful lot about you through this
process. Yeah, that's probably.
True, right. I I really have because you are
the absolute last person that I would think would say something
like. That Whoa, really?
Yes, yes, absolutely. I Why is that?
(14:10):
Because I always had the impression of you that you just
didn't care what anybody thought.
To some extent that is true. But as you know, as we move
through the world, I think we wealways move about as though
we're being perceived even if noone is watching.
(14:30):
And so, yeah, even if no one is watching.
Like you, I don't know. I just I wouldn't want to be
perceived as a try hard at anything.
Well, there's a big difference between a try hard and
struggling. I don't want to be a try hard
either. Like I don't want anybody to
watch me and go oh God, I'm cringing second hand
embarrassing. She just tries so hard.
(14:53):
Right, OK. But that, to me isn't
struggling. Like, I don't care if people
know I'm taking a shot to lose weight.
Yeah, I don't care. We'll see.
I, I guess I wouldn't, I don't know.
I don't know if I would categorize that as struggling.
What I think of struggling, I think of like struggle meals,
like depression and like, you know, like you're just, you're
(15:13):
not doing well mentally. Okay, okay, now I'm getting it.
All right, thank you. The Struggle bus.
Yeah, exactly. The struggle bus that's you have
to put it in simpler terms for me to get well.
Like I said, I it's just like a realization I had as we were
talking. So yeah, I'm sorry if I if I
wasn't clear about what I meant,but I guess that's it.
(15:35):
I don't know. I think that's all I have to say
about that. Unless.
Right, moving on to the next topic.
And now we're our two worlds aremeeting here, they're colliding.
There was an article about dating on Ozempic.
Yes. And do you want to read some
excerpts to us? Sure.
So this is from the Cut, our oldfriend, the cut.
(15:55):
We have, you know, we have a little preface about the the
setting. We're we're all familiar with
the setting because we have a whole podcast about it.
So I'm going to just jump into the profiles.
So first we have Miranda Hall 33from New York.
Very, very good name Miranda Hall.
(16:16):
I see what you're doing. Miranda Hobbs.
Miranda Hall. I thought it was an Annie Hall
reference. These are all obviously
pseudonyms, but OK. Annie who?
So we have Miranda Hall, 33, NewYork.
She says I never pursued weight loss before GLP one,
medications. Now here.
Here's where she loses me. I've never heard this term.
You tell me if you have, She says.
I was a Class 3 obese person until last year.
(16:41):
I don't know what that means. Either, I've literally never
heard that. I don't know, maybe she's
English. Not sure what class 3 obese
means, but in any case, she says.
I was a class 3 obese person until last year when I heard
about celebrities using Ozempic and decided to try it for
myself. When I started taking some of
(17:04):
glutide, there were a lot of physical effects I didn't
consider, like how my clothes wouldn't fit anymore, or that I
would lose 2 1/2 shoe sizes. That's interesting, really.
Or that my hair would fall out? Or that losing almost 150 lbs
would dramatically change how myface looked.
I didn't have any issues dating before I lost weight.
I was a cute fat person. I got everything I wanted.
(17:26):
Now the dudes that I think are hot are not having it anymore.
They're not into me at all. It makes me look, makes me feel
like I looked better before. Still, I hit the apps quite hard
in January and recently I went on a date every night of the
week. The medication has made finding
someone to hang out with long term more challenging and
unexpected ways. Because I've been sober since
(17:48):
taking Ozempic. Now I'm happy to have a Diet
Coke and go on a dinner date, but it seems to come up as an
issue pretty frequently. People automatically assume I
have a substance abuse problem and they'll ask, are you ever
going to drink again? Well, I was navigating the world
as a fat person. People could see that I was fat.
Now people can't tell that I used to be fat unless I tell
them first. I've had conversations where men
(18:10):
have said rude or cruel things about others or that they would
never date someone fat. One time a guy I was seeing came
to my apartment and saw framed photos of me when I was bigger.
We had never spoken about my weight loss, but right after he
broke things off without any explanation.
My theory is that it's because he saw me at a larger size.
My feeling is that many people feel a stigma not only toward
(18:31):
fat people, but also former fat people and former fat people who
lost weight on AGLP 1 drug. So it's a lot to wrap your head
around. I don't know that I've ever
thought about an ideal relationship at any weight.
I've always just dated just to make out with hot guys, which is
what I'm doing now. I'm not looking for something
that I feel is missing, and I'm not optimistic or otherwise
(18:53):
about finding something in the future because I haven't lost
anything. That's interesting.
Lot to unpack. Yeah, there's a lot.
Because it really sounds to me like her identity was tied up in
her body, in her weight. Yeah.
And when she lost the weight, she lost her identity.
She didn't know who she was anymore, or at the very least
(19:13):
she wasn't comfortable with this.
Quote UN quote, new person. Well, this is, I mean, you know,
we all do this to an extent, right?
But what we're seeing is someonewho is letting other people's
perceptions define her. Yeah, I also think that the guy,
when he stopped, when he ghostedor broke, broke things off after
he saw pictures. I think he worried, oh, is she
(19:34):
going to? Is she going to gain this way?
Back. Oh that's absolutely why he
ghosted, yes. Right.
All right, Sarah, you got any final thoughts?
I think we had a lot of hot takes today.
We had a lot of I I look forwardto more hot takes in the future.
At some point, Kristen, I want to talk about gatekeeping.
OK, just. Just, you know, our darkest
impulses as women. Oh yeah.
(19:56):
Let's get into. That at some point.
All right, we'll do. We'll talk about that in the
next episode. OK, we'll do that.
All right. OK guys, you know what to do
Send me your questions. Hello at didologycoach.com.
Make sure you're following me onsocial media at didologypod and
the Kristen M on Instagram and character my character analysis
and didology coach on TikTok andYouTube.
(20:18):
All right, which is warlock's these value your time decenter
men send to yourself and what Sarah?
Keep your chin up and your tits out.
Exactly. Goodbye.
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