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May 20, 2025 9 mins

Aging, ADHD, and the lie that weight loss fixes everything. Plus: Healing means circling back — this time with more clarity and fewer breakdowns.


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This week, Sarah and I dive into the latest on GLP-1s and why women seem to have a different experience with them than men (spoiler: hormones, age, and maybe how you jab yourself). We talk about what’s not being said — like how losing weight doesn’t always come with a confidence boost. Personally, I’ve become a little self-conscious about how much weight I’ve lost in my face. There’s this weird disconnect between how I feel and how I think I’m supposed to feel.

We also talk about healing — real healing. The kind that’s messy and nonlinear. I’ve had moments where I thought I was “over” something, only to revisit it and feel that intense reaction all over again. But that’s not regression; that’s revisiting the pain with more awareness. And sometimes that’s the most powerful kind of progress there is.

I also share how I’ve been getting my ADHD chaos under control — or at least trying to. I’m journaling more, using a planner (shocking, I know), and sticking to a to-do list that doesn’t instantly get buried under ten tabs and a pile of dog hair. These tools have helped me process some really tough emotions, especially after losing Sam. It’s been less about “getting back on track” and more about creating structure that actually supports me.

If you’ve ever felt emotionally scrambled while also trying to get your life together, this one’s for you.


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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:15):
Hey guys, it's Kristen. Welcome to a teaser of our
latest episode. If you like worth the wait and
you enjoy our dating hot takes and pop culture analysis, head
over to patreon.com/dateology Coach and become a subscriber.
Subscribers unlock the full experience, full episodes, deep
dives, no ads, and the real talkyou're not going to hear
anywhere else. Make sure to follow us at

(00:37):
patreon.com/dateology Coach and subscribe and don't forget to
follow us on social media. You can follow us on Instagram
at Date Ologypod and you can follow me on TikTok at Date
Ology Coach and my character analysis.
Enjoy the episode. Same.
It's like your mind is now like suddenly there's this other
space to think about. Like what else needs fixing?

(00:59):
Right. Because that's, but that seed is
planted in us so young where we're just never satisfied with
what we look like. We always have to be getting
doing something better. We have to look better.
We have to be thinner. Don't ever get complacent.
Don't ever stop caring well. I feel like I lived most of my
life pretty OK with it. This is new for me.

(01:23):
I, I have never been like, I don't know, like a vain person,
I guess. Like, obviously you see, like
I'm not all over the Internet, but I don't know, it's been
enough for me that when I go outin public, people don't recoil
in horror, right? Babies smile at me.
Kind of body neutral, you know? Yeah, I guess I don't know,
don't. Like, I keep saying I feel a lot

(01:45):
more comfortable in my clothes, but I'm also more aware, I
suppose. And I don't know, is that a
blessing or a curse? Do I want to be more aware?
This is why as part of this journey, I've also been thinking
about the larger question of is this cringe?
Is this cringe slash? Is this of a life crisis?

(02:07):
Because as I suspected, again, just that one study.
But you know, the assuming that study is indicative of culture
at large. If the average GOP 1 user is a
woman in her mid 40s, like is the rest of the world, looking
at us like this is an uphill battle, you know?
But I do. I think that something kicks in

(02:29):
right. That doesn't surprise me that
it's 45. I feel like around that age, not
only do we ever deal with perimenopause and menopause, but
we're really starting to fear that's.
Fuckable day. The last fuckable day.
That's a skit. I don't know if anybody remember
that with Julia Louis Dreyfus. Who else was in that?
I forget, I think Tina Fey. Schumer, Tina Fey, You, you.

(02:51):
And it's not even about the lastfuckable day.
It's more about I don't even know what it's about.
It's about that control. Mm, hmm, yeah.
I could see that I don't. I don't like feeling like my
body is not within my control. Mm hmm.
Yeah, that's a really good pointit.
Freaks me the fuck out. Right, right.

(03:12):
Yeah. Because there's a lot of stuff
happening that we just have no control over in terms of aging.
And I think with this shot, thatis a sense of control.
Right. For sure, you know, so I do, I
agree with you, I think, but I, I think that is why we buy all
these anti aging products and why we do all this stuff at 45.
It is it's it's control because we're we're now at that age

(03:35):
where a lot of stuff is happening to us that's
completely out of our control. There's nothing we can do about
So what? What can we?
It's also. Just so like our parents as
women is so connected to our experience of the world, right?
Like I know for me, I hate my current job.
I'm not trying. I'm not trying to stay there

(03:56):
forever at this point, I'm not actively looking only because
the job market is a dumpster fire.
But in the back of my mind, I'm like, listen, as soon as we're
done cooking here, the job search is on.
Because I know that, you know, in addition to approaching my
last suckable day, I'm. I'm also approaching the age at

(04:17):
which, you know, to some hiring managers, I may be perceived as
unhireable. I I have heard from women in
their 50s that it's virtually impossible to find a job.
So. Yeah, yeah, it ain't.
It ain't easy. Yeah, So I'm, I'm just trying to
make the most of these years, right.
And while while the job market is a dumpster fire, trying to

(04:38):
get as hot as I can so that I can make as much money as I can
because they're connected. They are connected.
We've talked about this and thisis this is how I feel about
we're doing video for a reason. And it's because I'm trying to
make this, especially with the worth the wait.
I'm trying to make this what's what's I'm trying to, to make

(05:04):
this podcast into something thatI that I know if it gets the
right kind of reach, can really help a lot of women.
And part of it is having to lookaspirational, you know, And I
hate that, but it's true. Because you're not gonna, I
don't know, maybe that's changing because there are some
influencers on TikTok that don'tlook like they live in a fancy

(05:27):
place and they don't dress very like they're not.
They're not what I would call Polish, but they have an
audience. But you do live in a fancy
place. I don't live in a fancy place.
You live in New York. That's fun.
Well, I guess it's. The fancy part?
Yeah. I mean, yeah, but I just happen
to luck out in terms of my building.
Yeah, but nobody can see the exterior, right?
We don't. I know.
We don't have your address. Well, true.

(05:50):
We just have your zip code. Right, right.
But becoming aspirational more at than more aspirational I
guess I don't know, I feel like that's important in order for in
order for this or in order for me to achieve what I want to
achieve professionally. So.
I mean it and I know may or may not be true.
I know that like video content is taking off, right?

(06:15):
I like, I see clips of podcasts via TikTok that are filmed,
right? And I'm seeing them versus
listening to these podcasts. But I also see the folks who are
doing this. It seems like they have like a
camera person. Maybe.
Yeah, I'm sure they have a wholesetup.
They're in a whole studio. I know, I know.
You know, maybe someday we'll bethere.

(06:35):
And I know a lot of people like,Oh my God, why do you why are
you still doing this? Because I believe in me.
Who would Then why are you stilldoing this?
I think a lot of people must. And there are literally
thousands of men with podcasts just talking about nothing
except how much they hate. Women I know, I know, but I, I
can say that I, I keep plugging away at this because I believe

(06:58):
in me and I think that's a very rare thing for women my age,
right where we have that confidence in our self.
I won't say it's rare. Society doesn't want us to have
that kind of. Certainly not encouraged to
admit it. Right.
We're not encouraged to admit it.
That's a better way to I would like to move away from this
topic and talk a little bit not about Sam, but about what I've

(07:18):
been dealing with since Sam passed in terms of what it
brought up. If you listen to the most, if
you listen to it was either it was last week, so this will be
post on Tuesday. So it was last week.
I talked about how this losing Sam has really brought up a lot
of stuff for me. Hey Bubba.
And what bothered me about that is I really felt like I had

(07:39):
addressed my abandonment issues.I really felt like I had I had
dealt with all of this, you know, needing to feel needed and
not wanting to feel left behind.And it really bothered me that
that all that stuff had come up again.
So I. Bother you?
Meaning what? Like you were disappointed in

(08:00):
your your response or you were surprised you.
Were disappointed. I was disappointed.
I was disappointed. I thought, you know, haven't we
been through this? I thought we've I thought we've
dealt with this, Kristen, have we talked about this?
That's how I felt. And the more the, the more I
sort of stood on this and reallystarted to think about it and

(08:21):
research it. What I learned was that, you
know, and we hear this, healing isn't linear, you know, and
there really is no start and finish to healing.
There's no finish. I know, I know.
And the thing that I wasn't aware of when this all started
getting brought up again is I thought I was regressing and I

(08:43):
wasn't. I wasn't regressing back into my
trauma. What I was doing was revisiting
it with new eyes, OK, which I think is a more positive way to
frame it. I wasn't it's it's we, I think a
lot of times we think that when we do the inner work and we go
through this healing, we get to this point where we think, OK,
we're pretty good now and now weknow how to deal with this and

(09:06):
right, all done. It's not going to be if it ever
comes up again, it's not going to be bad.
And so when it comes up again and it's bad, you think, Oh my
God, I. Failed what?
Happened. What did I do wrong?
I failed. I failed.
There is no failing in healing. You cannot fail healing.
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