Kayla and Rachel host a reader-submitted showcase featuring three luminous poems by Blair Vischer—“Easy Dark,” “Halfway Heroes,” and “Salt”—plus Rachel’s one-hour continuation of her “Enemies to Lovers” work-in-progress, a moody, Poe-tinted short piece by Dave Richanbach that riffs on “more weight” and the Salem trials, and MJ’s aching new poem “Strangers,” a call-and-response to Scott Gibson’s piece from last week.
Along the way, we talk rejection resilience (hi, Novelry shortlist), why humor sometimes masks sadness, and how we’re inviting listeners to share their work via email (contact@writeyourheartoutpod.com) or our new
Reddit community (@WriteYourHeartOutPod) for future Storytime episodes.
Next up: character development deep-dive—yes, with Enneagram tricks writers can steal.
Please subscribe, rate and review!
New episodes every Wednesday.
E-mail us your short story at contact@writeyourheartoutpod.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:00):
Write your heart out.
SPEAKER_02 (00:06):
Hi, I'm Kayla Ogden and I'm Rachel Sear.
SPEAKER_03 (00:09):
And this is Write Your Heart Out.
SPEAKER_02 (00:12):
And we're doing a story time episode.
Is this our third story time?
It's either our third or itmight be our I think it's our
fourth.
The storytime episodes are mypersonal favorite.
They're fun because yeah, I justlove storytelling and poetry,
and especially when we can kindof connect with listeners,
that's it's just the best.
It's the best.
It is, it's really fun.
(00:34):
Today we have poems by one of mybest friends, Blair Vischer.
We have the second part ofRachel Sears' story.
Does the story have a name?
SPEAKER_03 (00:46):
Uh well, in my Google Docs, it's just called
Enemies to Lovers, because thatwas the prompt like section.
So I'm going into that with thatright now.
SPEAKER_02 (00:54):
Um that would be good, like for keywords.
People Google like enemies tolovers story and then just yours
pops up because that's what younamed it.
SPEAKER_03 (01:02):
It's not a full chapter because I limited myself
to one hour.
I think it's a good add-on towhat we've already talked about.
SPEAKER_02 (01:08):
This is amazing.
So if you go back and listen tothe last story time and listen
to Rachel's, I really liked it,and there were so many um
breadcrumbs or something that Iwanted to follow.
I was very curious to see whatwas gonna happen next.
There were a lot of questionsleft in my mind, and so I begged
her to write more, and shegranted us an hour of her
(01:29):
writing time to keep on going.
Um and then we have a story byDave.
SPEAKER_03 (01:36):
Yes, my dad, Dave Rickenbach.
SPEAKER_02 (01:39):
Dave Rickenbach, and I've been calling him David.
SPEAKER_03 (01:41):
That's okay.
That is his legal name, it'sDavid.
Yes.
David, in my head, David's mylittle brother.
Oh and then Dave is my dad.
But whatever.
Whatever I want.
I mean, he didn't say he wantedto be anonymous, so Dave
Rickenbach, here it is.
SPEAKER_02 (01:56):
Here we go.
Um, but we're gonna save his forlast, I think.
Yes.
And for those of you who arewondering about the switcheroo
between MJ and Scott Gibson, MJsent us hers, and we are so
excited, beyond excited, tolisten to it.
Yeah, I really can't wait.
But Scott, when he suggested theswitcheroo, he was like, Oh,
(02:18):
this is an idea.
Maybe this could happen in thefuture sometime.
Who knows?
And then Rachel and I were on itlike white on rice, and we
immediately got MJ to write apoem, and then we're like,
Scott, where's yours?
And he was like, I'm busy, Idon't know, I can't do it.
SPEAKER_03 (02:31):
So how his creative juices flew.
Yes, yeah, they don't flow thatway.
SPEAKER_02 (02:36):
He he just said that his life has been, quote,
ridiculous lately, which couldmean so many different things.
If you listen to Scott's poem onthe storytime from last week,
you may imagine that he's stuckin a Thai prison or something
like that.
I really don't know.
He has access to his phone andhe has been messaging me.
So hopefully everything's o okayover there.
(02:57):
He said that we should go aheadand read MJ's poem and then he
would submit his in the future.
SPEAKER_03 (03:03):
Okay.
Should I maybe I should text MJright now and see how she feels
about it?
Yeah.
Should I?
Yeah.
Okay, I'll message her rightnow.
We'll get going with the storytime, and then if she responds,
then we'll roll with it.
SPEAKER_02 (03:16):
Then we'll roll with it.
That would be great.
I really want to hear hersbecause this will be her third
poem that we featured on theshow.
And we wanted her to write aboutlove.
So I love young love.
There's nothing like it.
And one other thing I wanted tomention was that Rachel got us
on Reddit.
I did.
Which means we are what are whatare Redditors?
(03:37):
Inside Redditors.
SPEAKER_03 (03:38):
Oh, we know you know, Reddit's quite the rabbit
hole.
SPEAKER_02 (03:44):
Reddit's amazing, actually.
SPEAKER_03 (03:46):
It is.
It's like everything from adviceto funny stuff, really sad, dark
stuff.
Yeah.
I mean, like, you can go down alot of rabbit holes on Reddit.
SPEAKER_02 (03:56):
I love the Am I the Asshole?
Oh, yes.
Reddit.
It is the best.
SPEAKER_03 (04:00):
So I've been posting, I created a Reddit
community for our storytimestuff to put out there into the
world.
Amazing.
So we'll see what happens.
SPEAKER_02 (04:10):
So far, we're just posting our own stuff, right?
We can't just post.
I have no idea what a Redditcommunity is even like or what
it does, but I'm excited to divein and get on there.
So if you want to be a part ofit, is that a thing?
SPEAKER_03 (04:26):
I think you can like join our community.
Yes, that's how you would beable to read our story times if
you wanted to, and then sharethem to the world if you feel so
inclined.
Can they also post their ownstories in our community?
I think so, and that would beamazing.
And then we would read them onthe podcast.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That would be a great way tocommunicate with us.
SPEAKER_02 (04:44):
Yes.
SPEAKER_03 (04:44):
If you want to.
SPEAKER_02 (04:45):
If you want to read on a storytime, either email it
to contact atwriteyourheartoutpod.com or go
on our Reddit for Write YourHeart Out Pod.
That's our handle.
That's our handle.
And post it on there and wewould be so excited.
Oh my god, I would literallysqueal when I see it.
I would, I would.
(05:06):
Guys, we're just getting startedhere.
You guys are on the ground floorof Write Your Heart Out.
SPEAKER_03 (05:11):
All right, wait.
Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee BreakingNews.
MJ says yes.
SPEAKER_02 (05:15):
Oh, yes.
So should we play that one afterDave's?
Yeah.
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (05:20):
Let's do it.
Let's make her the cream of theI mean the icing on the cake.
The cream at the top of the pot.
The cream pot.
The cream pot.
No, I don't like it.
Okay, sorry, MJ.
You the cream of the crop,though.
Well, what?
We don't know that.
SPEAKER_02 (05:35):
No, we're not blairs.
I mean, Blair are probably goodtoo.
SPEAKER_03 (05:39):
I mean, I'm sure they're okay.
SPEAKER_02 (05:41):
Okay.
She's just going last, guys.
It has no significance.
This is in random order.
It has nothing to do with yourbeing better than anyone else.
Yeah.
Exactly.
SPEAKER_03 (05:51):
Okay.
But speaking of people beingbetter than anyone else, we're
not because we didn't make thetop eight people on novelry.
Oh.
I saw the email that was likeour top eight ones.
And I was like, they would havenotified me if I was a top
eight, right?
SPEAKER_02 (06:08):
Yeah, so you knew immediately.
SPEAKER_03 (06:10):
Well I mean, unless you held out hope.
I held out hope and I scrolledthrough and I was like, that's
not the first line to any ofmine.
And I don't think that was thefirst line to any of Kayla's.
SPEAKER_02 (06:21):
Did you submit more than one, or you just forget
what you submitted or what yourfirst line was?
SPEAKER_03 (06:25):
No, I submitted the first chapter of Carolyn.
Oh.
And then I submitted the firstchapter of Dinner for Eight.
SPEAKER_02 (06:32):
Okay, well, they're insane if they didn't choose
you, Rachel.
Well, 22.
Was it 2200 or 22,000?
SPEAKER_03 (06:41):
Oh, so oh, like 22,000.
It was a lot of outfit.
SPEAKER_02 (06:45):
It was 22,000.
So.
SPEAKER_03 (06:47):
And I'm just gonna be a hater for a second.
The eight that I did read, theyjust post the first sentence of
each one.
And oh I wasn't a fan.
Serious?
What was it about being audited?
I'm not into it.
SPEAKER_02 (07:01):
Well, maybe it gets freaky or something.
Yeah, when they sent me theemail, the next week's story
shortlist, I couldn't figure outwhere to find it.
Like I had to click through somany clicks, and I never got to
see who it was, but I just knewthat it wasn't me.
But I do want to, I would liketo see what they chose, I guess.
SPEAKER_03 (07:20):
Should we read them?
Or maybe not?
SPEAKER_02 (07:23):
Like, should we publish them without consent?
SPEAKER_03 (07:25):
Well, it's just the first sentence.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (07:28):
Well, where are we?
SPEAKER_03 (07:29):
I mean, are we wounded?
Are we wounded puppies?
SPEAKER_02 (07:32):
Like I'm looking through their website, I can't
fucking figure anything out.
SPEAKER_03 (07:36):
Alright.
Well, we're going to move onthen.
Oh.
Oh, oh, oh, we found it.
We found it.
SPEAKER_02 (07:42):
Oh, the first line.
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
I want to do this.
Do it.
Okay, so I'm gonna read you thethere were eight finalists to
the novely's next big story.
That's the short list.
SPEAKER_03 (07:55):
And I believe now people can go vote and give
their opinion.
SPEAKER_02 (07:59):
Oh, okay.
Really?
Just basically.
SPEAKER_03 (08:00):
That's what I'm saying.
Because voting starts now iswhat it said at the bottom.
SPEAKER_02 (08:03):
Oh, read the full entry and vote for finalist one.
So this is um on this page, it'sjust showing us the first line,
and then we can click through toread the whole thing and we can
vote.
But it's also showing us whatsome of the editors said about
the story.
So that's interesting.
Um, so here we go.
Oh, they don't even tell us thename of the person.
SPEAKER_03 (08:24):
Well, I think that that's why, right?
Oh, because we don't want tohave to Google them and I mean
it would make a bias, yeah,wouldn't it?
SPEAKER_02 (08:31):
Yeah.
Okay, so finalist one.
This is the first line.
He wanted to teach me a lesson,so he left me on the side of the
road somewhere in ruralMissouri.
That one?
Yay.
Yes.
That's sad.
Oh my gosh.
Um, and then finalist two wrote,Grace Labille is turning 20 on
top of a man who does not loveher and will not date her.
SPEAKER_03 (08:55):
I probably did the same thing, girl.
SPEAKER_02 (08:57):
Okay.
So finalist three.
The bird stopped singing on themorning of the audit.
SPEAKER_03 (09:04):
Oh, there's the audit.
SPEAKER_02 (09:05):
Ooh, I think this one, to me, it's giving like
sci-fi.
Sure.
SPEAKER_03 (09:10):
I think I think it is.
Like all the clocks turn 13.
Have you been audited before?
SPEAKER_02 (09:15):
Have you?
Yes.
That sounds scary.
It was horrible.
I don't know what would happenwith my crypto.
I'd be like, I don't know.
I have a few wallets.
That would make it even worse.
Make it really worse.
So, finalist number four.
If you ever wake up in a gildedcarriage pulled by white horses
with shimmering panes, don'tpanic.
You're already doomed.
Huh.
(09:36):
Okay.
Cool.
SPEAKER_03 (09:37):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (09:38):
Finalist five.
You can fit the entire crematedremains of a five foot two woman
inside a hot water bottle.
Why does it have to be a hotwater bottle?
Yeah, creepy.
Oh, hot water bottles are thosethings that you used to sleep
with, right?
The big mouth thing, and then ithas like the giant square
(09:58):
pocket.
Yeah, and it's like rubber andyou fill it up with hot water.
I think about when I think of ahot water bottle.
Okay, interesting.
Finalist six.
Every night for almost a monthafter her son's suicide on
TikTok live, their cat waits.
Ew.
Ooh, ouch.
Larry.
Giving Larry vibes.
Larry did it.
(10:19):
Finalist seven.
The sheep didn't care that thedictator was dying.
Whoa, this is like my thing.
I know.
When I read that one, I waslike, oh my god, did she change
her first line and Kayla's inthere?
Weird.
No, that is not.
Right?
How weird would that be?
Yeah.
If it wins and it's like adystopian thing where the sheep
(10:39):
and then the women die andstuff, I'm gonna feel really
weird inside.
SPEAKER_03 (10:42):
Well.
SPEAKER_02 (10:43):
I already feel weird inside that we wrote the same
kind of story about Larry.
SPEAKER_03 (10:48):
I know.
Like it just makes you feel itwas the muse thing.
SPEAKER_02 (10:51):
Yeah, maybe it was just the muse.
It wasn't that we're basic.
SPEAKER_03 (10:54):
Whispering.
No, no, no.
I mean, I I have my basicmoments, but I don't think that
that is why Larry came to be.
No.
And it certainly has nothing todo with your dystopian sheep.
SPEAKER_02 (11:05):
Okay.
Okay.
I obviously am so neurotic.
Like when I do this podcast, I'mlike, I'm neurotic.
Okay, so finalist eight.
Harlow had never known what itmeant to be clean.
Ooh, I like that one.
SPEAKER_03 (11:19):
Well, I like these all a lot better when you read
them to me.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (11:22):
Oh, yeah.
I mean, I think they're allgood.
SPEAKER_03 (11:24):
I was being a real bitch.
But I also realized I waslosing, you know, in that
moment.
SPEAKER_02 (11:30):
Oh, yeah, it's hard.
It's hard.
Now are you starting to feel umcompersion?
Do you feel compersion now forthese authors?
SPEAKER_03 (11:38):
Yeah, definitely way more compersion than jealous,
right?
Than jealous.
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (11:43):
Yeah, I'm I don't know.
I'm getting there.
It's just an uneasy feeling.
Um they say in this business youhave to deal with rejection a
lot.
And I didn't start that untilmaybe like a year ago because I
was just writing, writing,writing in my dreamland and
imagining that it was the bestbook that had ever existed.
And then, you know, you startputting yourself out there a
(12:05):
little bit and you're like, oh,this is what it, this is what it
means to try and fail.
But at least you're playing thegame.
You know, absolutely.
At least you're on the field.
Yeah.
Going after it.
You miss 100%.
You don't take.
True.
We took a shot.
We actually took a shot.
We did.
SPEAKER_03 (12:24):
Okay, let's do this.
SPEAKER_02 (12:26):
Yes.
Are we ready?
SPEAKER_03 (12:27):
Yes, we're ready for Rachel's part two of This is
Enemies to Lovers.
I bel I will I'm gonna say isthe first part of chapter two.
Okay.
Where we left.
I'm just gonna read the lastparagraph of chapter one in case
anyone needs a little refresher.
Is that good?
SPEAKER_02 (12:42):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (12:43):
Okay.
So the last paragraph of chapterone was I can feel his eyes on
me, and I hate how much I lovehim watching me.
I, the front desk receptionist,had always felt as though I was
merely a tiny blip on his radar,and I would be lying if I didn't
admit that I hadn't had a chipon my shoulder about it.
This feels better than itshould.
Let him watch.
In the bathroom I stand at themirror, observing my hollow
(13:05):
cheekbones.
My muddy brown eyes are dark andget lost in the shadow of my
thick side swept bangs.
I push them back out of my faceand observe myself for a moment,
thankful that my dollar storemakeup still looks good from
this morning, and use my middlefinger to lightly dab under each
eye, ensuring mascara hasn'tbecome smeared underneath.
I lift my arms, watching myselfin the mirror as I take a quick
(13:25):
sniff under each armpit and thensigh.
Thank God I don't smell.
I bare my teeth in the mirror,looking to make sure there's
nothing stuck, and then look upto the ceiling as I try to
remember what food could even bestuck there.
When was the last time I ate?
On cue, my stomach audiblycreaks in anticipation of the
hot meal I know June will bebringing out for me.
Something with actual fat andprotein.
Okay.
(13:45):
I focus in and lean over thesink to give myself a pep talk.
Kimberly, you got this.
It seems like his intentions aregood.
Hear him out.
Buying you food doesn't mean youdepend on him.
You won't owe him anything.
It doesn't mean you need him.
It doesn't mean anything.
I shake my head and look downinto the chipped porcelain sink.
It's been so long since Iallowed myself to let anyone in.
(14:05):
June is the closest thing I haveto family anymore.
The only one that seems to care.
She has never once handed me abill after I've eaten here, yet
I still can't bring myself toorder more than buttered toast.
With years of history betweenus, I still don't want her to
think I depend on her for food,even though I know I'm not
fooling her.
I'm sure if I could go totherapy, they'd tell me I need
to let myself lean on people.
But that's so much easier saidthan done.
(14:27):
No college educated therapisthas had to live this life.
They don't know what it's liketo have an unreliable, reckless,
self-centered asshole of afather, to go through the
repeated loss and abandonment Idid, to have lived in their car
since they were 16.
My own mother's last words to mewere, never depend on anyone,
Kimmy.
Nobody can be trusted.
I watched her walk away from me,not even looking back with
(14:49):
remorse, with sadness, withemotion at all, as she
disappeared into the crowd.
Those words have been etchedinto my heart for over a decade
now, and as of last week, thereare also an ink on my forearm.
I pull up my sleeve and tracethe tattoo lightly.
It's still sensitive, but theredness has gone down, and the
fine lines are lightly raisedunder my fingertips.
They curl and wrap around eachother in a pattern of my own
(15:10):
design.
It looks like another languageto anyone else.
Even the artist didn't know whathe was putting into my skin.
But I know, and I will alwaysknow.
Pulling down the sleeve of mysweatshirt, I tuck it into my
fist and take a deep breathbefore heading back out into the
restaurant.
As I step out into the smallhallway, the smell of cooking
oil and sausage patties wafts byand my stomach groans again.
I peek my head around the cornerand see the back of Jared's head
(15:31):
sitting in the booth.
He's looking out the window intothe night, or maybe back at his
own reflection in the glass.
Jesus, he's so fucking gorgeous.
I'd stare at myself all nighttoo if I looked at like him.
His green eyes, chiseled jaw,and ever-present five o'clock
shadow are just the tip of theiceberg, and I find my eyes
wandering to the nape of hisneck, imagining myself grazing
him there with my lips,breathing him in.
(15:52):
Suddenly he turns and finds mewatching him.
I jump back, knocking over ahigh chair and losing my
balance.
A hearty laugh rings out,filling the entire restaurant,
and my face bursts into flames,heat rising in my cheeks as I
steady myself by touching thewall next to me.
I stop my foot, disappointed forgetting caught, and lean down to
hide my face and pick up the topold high chair.
When I look up, he's comingtowards me, and within seconds
(16:14):
his hand is on mine, taking thewooden seat out of my grasp, and
the same tingling from earliererupts through my hand where our
skin touches.
I look down at the connection.
Sure there must be somethingtangible causing this sensation,
but there's nothing but his handagainst my own.
I look up at him, hoping to findthat he confirms the feeling
that it's not just me, but I getnothing, not seeming to notice.
(16:36):
Sorry, I did not edit this.
He continues to take the chairfrom my hand and places it
against the wall, turning hisback to me, chuckling.
Whether he's laughing with me orat me, I'm not sure.
And I feel the heat rise back upin my gut.
I stomp around him and head backto the booth.
SPEAKER_02 (16:52):
He likes she knows that she likes him.
She knows.
SPEAKER_03 (16:56):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (16:57):
She thinks he's hot.
Right.
But she doesn't know how hefeels.
He's got something.
Yeah, he's got something goingon.
Yeah.
I'm trying to decide what he is.
What is he?
What is he?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Okay.
Did he have a reflection?
Because Did he have a re goodquestion?
I didn't even thought aboutthat.
(17:18):
Great.
Thank you so much for indulgingus.
SPEAKER_03 (17:21):
Yes.
Seriously can't wait to seewhere that goes.
So I have, speaking of Reddit,been posting this one on Reddit.
Oh yeah.
And uh I put it out there intothe Reddit world that I don't
know if this should turn intolike a romanticy type of thing
or what it should turn into.
And I wanted to see what Reddithad to say, and nobody has
responded.
(17:41):
But it's said that people havelooked at it.
Yeah, a lot of people havelooked at it.
SPEAKER_02 (17:46):
It is crazy.
Awesome.
SPEAKER_03 (17:49):
So if you want to read this and you want to like
upvote it or suggest where itshould go or something, I'll be
reading it.
Let me know.
SPEAKER_02 (17:59):
I think I want to do this too.
Um, enter in like a serialchapter by chapter thing.
SPEAKER_03 (18:04):
Right, isn't that fun?
I love that idea for us.
SPEAKER_02 (18:06):
Yeah, me too.
I wonder if you you wrote it allon there.
SPEAKER_03 (18:10):
Yeah, I mean I think it's fun.
I I from what I understand aboutReddit, which is minimal, and I
know that makes like me soundreally old and stupid, but like
people love to be a part of iton there.
Like they like to be in on theaction of how it's happening.
And I I think that that's cool.
SPEAKER_02 (18:25):
Yeah, I think it's very cool.
And also, there's a lot of umbooks that ended up getting
published and did really wellthat started out as fanfic,
fanfiction.
Right.
Right.
And I just think that it'stotally okay.
General advice is if somethinghas been published before or
gets self-published, nopublisher is gonna wanna print
(18:46):
it or whatever.
But if it gets a good reactionfrom people, I think that the
industry is changing.
So I think if you were able tosay, you know, oh my gosh, 200
people followed along on myjourney and they really liked it
and they connected with me overit, I think that that's only
like gonna be a positive thing.
Absolutely.
Yeah, so I'm really excitedabout that.
(19:07):
Me too.
So um, this is gonna be a thingthat you're gonna do.
You're gonna go chapter bychapter and I think so.
SPEAKER_03 (19:12):
I'm just gonna roll with this one.
That's so good.
I mean, if I'm dedicating, and Ialso don't want to dedicate more
than an hour or two to this bookat a time.
Yeah.
So I think that doing it thatway is really fun.
Yes.
And because I want to reallyfocus, continue focusing on
editing Dinner for Eight.
Yeah.
And make that my main priority.
But like this is a fun, like waymore interactive way to keep
(19:35):
keep writing, like keep keep itout.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (19:38):
Yeah.
Okay, great.
All right, now we're gonna haveBlair's poems.
Um I have a feeling they'reshort.
SPEAKER_03 (19:45):
So you haven't read them.
Oh, she did audio recordings.
Yeah.
I'm so excited.
Okay, perfect.
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (19:52):
The easy dark by Blair Visher.
So late, it's light out there.
So many dreamless awakeningsjolted, distorted.
Once the fact flew free in thisdark, full emptiness that
supported me, then dropped away.
As I turned my back, I woke up,jolted up from my easy dark,
swift and proud and long foundthe dark my love forsaken me,
(20:16):
and vice versa.
Not out of spontaneity, but Ishaded, can't see, see in this
dank dark to infinity force,this rebirth.
And there is no going back.
I shade my eyes, I cower in thislight.
Hot heat seeks my heart withoutlies.
So late, it's light out there.
Waking from the easy dark to theprying sun.
(20:38):
Oh, that's beautiful.
SPEAKER_02 (20:39):
Oh, I wonder if that's about a baby coming out.
Oh.
Do you cause um the easy dark,and then you're kind of coming
out and shielding your eyesagainst the light, and she's
saying something about likethere being like lies out there.
I could be totally wrong.
I want Blair to tell me ifthat's about a baby being born.
(20:59):
But that was beautiful.
SPEAKER_00 (21:00):
That was beautiful.
SPEAKER_02 (21:01):
I love her voice.
Okay, here's the next one.
Halfway Hero.
SPEAKER_00 (21:04):
Halfway Heroes by Blair Visher.
My breath ice cold, sounds ofsilence.
In the heat of midday, I realizeI can never get past this
cold-blooded happiness.
Worlds freeze, fog shivers as itquivers in moonlit air.
Zen hands seem to shake with theeffort of keeping us out here.
A truth caught in the openbecause the hot sun hates
(21:26):
halfway heroes.
SPEAKER_02 (21:27):
Okay, so Blair's a really interesting person.
She had a homestead for a longtime where she she everything
her family ate for a year, sheproduced on that farm.
My dream.
It was amazing.
And they're they're vegan, so itwasn't she wasn't No chickens.
No chickens.
There was a little pond in theiron their property.
(21:50):
And as she began growing foodand taking care of the land and
everything, all these differentlike species of animals started
to come to like her yard.
And she created her her ownlittle ecosystem there.
So when I hear this poem, itmakes me think of there was a
time when her and her husbandbought land somewhere and they
(22:10):
were gonna build a house on thatland.
And I wonder if that's whatshe's talking about when she's
talking about her hands ummoving and working to keep them
there, you know?
Okay, so the next one is calledSalt.
SPEAKER_00 (22:23):
Salt by Blair Visher.
Feel it course through yourmind.
Questions with no answers I canfind.
Time's just begun for you and I,forces none but us would deny,
and so you're gone, leavingnothing.
But I remember more thansleeping.
Then you traced a teardrop withyour hand from the corner of my
eye, along the curve of my face,and swore I'd never cry.
(22:45):
Somehow it's the salt I tasteand trust against the lie.
SPEAKER_02 (22:50):
Oh my god, that just gave me chills, Blair.
Because it's interesting that,like, the person they're tracing
your tear with their hand whilethey're saying you're never
gonna cry.
SPEAKER_03 (23:01):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (23:01):
And then you're like, uh, actually, I can taste
this tear in the mouth.
Like they're almost like atriptych, like they kind of work
together.
She writes fantasy.
Can you tell?
SPEAKER_03 (23:12):
I definitely wouldn't have connected those
dots on my own.
Yeah, but that's awesome.
Yeah, thank you so much.
Thank you so much.
SPEAKER_02 (23:17):
Continue to share, especially if you have um a
short story.
We'd love to read some YAfantasy.
SPEAKER_03 (23:24):
Absolutely, please send some YA fantasy.
What was the next one?
Was it Dave's?
We're gonna go with Dave.
I cannot wait.
Okay, he said it got a littledark.
I have not read it.
So this was his two-hourproject.
So he used the prompts from acouple episodes ago.
I want to say it was episode 12,where I got the enemies to lover
prompt.
And so in that list on ourwebsite, he went and he chose a
(23:46):
prompt from there.
And I don't know which one hechose.
Maybe we'll be able to figure itout from this.
He did the same two hours, hegave himself a time limit.
SPEAKER_02 (23:53):
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (23:53):
Okay.
Okay, wow.
And it's a story.
SPEAKER_02 (23:56):
It's a story.
And it has a title?
SPEAKER_03 (23:58):
No.
Oh, okay.
Let's hear it.
Okay.
I mean, unless the title is atwo-hour project.
Okay.
Okay.
Never a good sign, he thought.
But when did a sign become goodor bad?
A sign is a sign is a sign.
They all just tell a story aboutwhat is, whether anyone is
paying attention or not.
No one had told him this wouldhurt so bad.
(24:19):
In fact, thinking about it, herealized no one had actually
told him anything.
He had always been in the dark.
Metaphorically before andliterally now.
He just didn't know that itwould be both dark and painful.
He felt surprised by that, andfelt surprised at the surprise.
Stupid, he told himself.
Why did he think he would knowanything?
(24:40):
Of course he would be surprised.
That is what happens to anyonewhen they start paying attention
after not paying attention forso long.
Lots of surprises.
Ouch.
Too little, too late.
If he was going to be mad atsomeone for not paying attention
to him, not warning him, nothelping him, he could start with
number one.
Who was supposed to help someonewith who won't help himself?
(25:02):
Who was supposed to explainthings to someone who's not
listening?
Someone who makes a big show ofnot listening.
He felt shame now.
A list was forming.
Darkness, pain, shame, all thehits.
At least he could add humor tothe list.
Darkness, pain, shame, andhumor.
That had always been hissuperpower, sarcastic humor.
(25:22):
Like the best Masons buildingthe strongest, highest, and
thickest walls brick by brick.
He had used his sarcasticsuperpowers to wall himself from
everyone.
Walling himself in and othersout.
He could call for help, but evennow, in the dark, hurting,
shamed, he felt somehow blacklysecure behind the emotional
bricks and mortar.
(25:43):
No one would find him because noone was looking.
Someone had to care to comelooking, and who would that be?
No one would hear him either.
He was sure of that.
The hard work of being worthlistening to, being a two-way
street, and his life was allone-way alleys and dead ends.
Trust me, he thought, to no onein particular.
I would love to know why this ishappening to me.
(26:04):
But then thought aloud, stupidagain.
He knew why it was happening,and no amount of conversational
projection was gonna change athing.
No one to blame.
There never was anyone else toblame, but blame comes easy.
Shame makes it a habit to blame,and habit becomes addiction.
And there you go.
Easy as Bob's your uncle.
(26:24):
Humor, he thought.
Thank God humor is on the list.
And he allowed a chuckle.
But it was a mistake.
It hurt to laugh, and not justin some homespunny metaphor
metaphorical way, like thedarkness, the real pain was
real.
Giles Corey, he thought tohimself, I'm going to die like
Giles Corey.
He allowed himself thedistraction of remembering the
(26:45):
story.
Giles Corey, one of the menkilled in the Salem witch
trials.
They crushed him with massivestones on his chest in the
wicked process of torturing aconfession out of him.
When they asked, innocent orguilty, he only replied, More
weight.
And of course, they gave himwhat he asked for.
Why does that story come to menow?
He wondered.
Was there some sort of nobilityin never giving in?
(27:07):
Death before confession.
Was it worth it?
He wondered.
What is worth dying for?
Then as an experiment, moreweight, he said softly.
Then with more conviction.
More weight.
Trying again, he growled.
More weight.
Then shouting.
More weight until he was hoarseand tired of the experiment.
(27:27):
He felt nothing again.
No, not nothing.
He felt powerful feelings.
He reviewed the list.
Pain, darkness, shame, and humorwas eluding him.
Something else was coming toreplace it.
He could tell he was not gonnalike it.
For a wasted minute, he hadthought that he could shout his
way into some noble corner ofGuile's story.
Death before confession.
(27:48):
Death before compromise.
His face was wet now in thesilence that followed the
shouting, and reality camerushing in at him, compressing
him like the matter in the blackhole of his life.
Then he was left with darkness,pain, shame, and wouldn't you
know it?
Humor had become sadness.
SPEAKER_02 (28:06):
Whoa, oh my gosh, I love it.
Wow, wow, wow.
Okay, is the guy being tortured?
SPEAKER_03 (28:13):
He's in jail?
It's I can't tell.
He's clearly somewhere dark.
You know what I got?
What came to mind was kind ofthe pit in the pendulum.
You know, the guy when he's inthe pit, like alone in this
darkness.
The a girl in Poe.
Yeah.
And he's being tortured downthere.
Yeah.
But by himself.
Like I kind of get that vibe.
SPEAKER_02 (28:31):
Yeah.
I wonder if that um guy from thewitch trials that Giles Corey.
Yeah.
That must be a real I don'tknow.
I mean, that's terri.
The more weight.
Woof.
Yeah, he's a real guy, anEnglish farmer.
It was accused of witchcraftalong with his wife Martha Corey
during the Salem witch trials inthe province of Massachusetts
(28:51):
Bay.
SPEAKER_03 (28:52):
All right.
Well, thank you, Dad.
That was really wow.
SPEAKER_02 (28:56):
Yeah, I thought it was terrific.
I love the use of repetition andhow the list kept on building.
And I like the idea that humorturned to sadness.
And I wonder if there was thisone time when I was in my 20s
and I was talking to my roommateEric, who was having a hard time
finishing his PhD.
(29:16):
He would just go to school forso long and just never finish.
And then I remember he moved outsomewhere where he would just
live in a barn so that he'd haveno distractions so he could
write his thesis.
And then I saw him like a yearlater and I asked him if he
finished his thesis in the barn,and he said, no.
Like he did go to the barn, buthe still managed to not work on
(29:38):
what he was supposed to beworking on, which, anyways, he's
a really nice, interestingperson.
But he mentioned being on a boatsomewhere with some guy.
And the guy saying this to himwas you feel anger, you're
angry, you feel anger all thetime, but you know that
underneath anger is alwayssadness.
Yeah.
Like anger is just sadnessputting on a show.
SPEAKER_03 (30:00):
Sure.
SPEAKER_02 (30:01):
And then people say that about like humor sometimes
too.
Like people who are sad willjoke about it all the time.
SPEAKER_03 (30:07):
Well, yeah.
Like pretty prolific comediansare known to be quite depressed.
SPEAKER_02 (30:12):
Yeah.
And Dave's story when it wastalking about building up the
Masons, building up the bricks.
Were the bricks humor?
unknown (30:19):
Who?
SPEAKER_02 (30:21):
I think they were.
So yeah, that was really, reallygood.
I'd love to know where he is andlike, does he get out of it?
I know.
SPEAKER_03 (30:29):
I would love to know more.
I want him to get out of thereand redeem his life.
Yeah.
Okay.
So I re- I also, as reading it,I figured out what his uh prompt
was.
The one he chose was no one hadtold him it was hurt this bad.
Remember that was one of them.
I want to just give him moreprompts now.
I know.
Way to go, Dan.
(30:49):
Way to go.
Write more stuff.
So now we're gonna go with MJ.
She gave us permission.
And it is also an audiorecording.
Are we ready?
Let's go, MJ.
SPEAKER_01 (31:00):
Hello, this is MJ.
Um, this is my take on thebrilliant poem we heard last
episode from Scott about younglove, and this is my take on
that.
Using his poem, I guess, as aprompt, but putting it through
my own experiences, anyways.
This one is called Strangers.
From the moment you bumped intome in the hallway, you fell for
(31:22):
me.
You wore your smile for days,weeks, purely just for me.
I hadn't smiled in a while.
Truly, I don't believe I everhave.
But despite the pit of my death,loving you felt like taking the
breath I had been holding in allof my life.
We had nicknames and all thatjazz and dance and playing
musical chairs with ourintentions, playing hard to get,
I guess.
(31:42):
You'd play guess who and I'd askwho's there, and I suppose
that's young love, or maybe it'sjust dumb love, and I was an
idiot for you.
From the moment you bumped intome in the hallway, I knew it
would be just that.
Not a heartbreak or bone deepcut, but a mere bump.
Though I can't help but feel asif I had been showed.
I remember how you called meyour ladybug, how you crawled
your way into my heart, andladybugs have a typical lifespan
(32:06):
of about three months, and wecouldn't even make it to one.
I remember kissing under treesand cuddling on the beach.
I remember looking into youreyes and feeling as if I was
looking into mine.
You had mirrors, super eyes.
That's so that's why I can neversee your true intentions.
I only saw what I wanted to see,and I understand that you were
trying things out, but youdidn't have to try out me.
(32:28):
So now you expect me to justwalk away, walk through my days
as if we are just strangers.
When you bumped into me in thehallway, I never thought you'd
be the one to break my heart.
And that stupid fuckingintersection where you didn't
just break but dissected myheart.
I remember looking at the yellowwalk sign and pressing it a
million times.
I just wanted to walk, you know,run away.
(32:49):
And I saw a ladybug crawl up thestoplight pole, and how poetic.
It's as if the ladybug you sawin me was literally crawling
away.
But I held in my tears when youasked why I had nothing to say.
There's really nothing to say atall when you've pushed someone
into the pit of their deathsafter restricting the
metaphorical breath, and thensmiled through it all as if it
(33:11):
never happened, as if neither ofus bumped into each other, and
as if neither of us ever fell.
Thank you.
SPEAKER_03 (33:19):
Oh, MJ.
You are such an amazing thing.
SPEAKER_02 (33:21):
God, MJ.
MJ, is that about your lastbreakup?
Because if it is, I have to saysomething.
So they you're together for likeless than a month, but you're
cuddling on beaches and kissingunder trees and gazing into each
other's eyes.
Like that is amazing.
Yeah, it's part of arelationship.
(33:42):
I mean, I just think that theway that when you're young can
fall into these things is sobeautiful and and tragic.
And I love the way that you usethe bump in the poem where it
was like, oh, you you bumpedinto me, like they fell.
Why do I feel like I've beenshoved?
Yeah.
Like that is so sick.
SPEAKER_03 (34:03):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (34:04):
The way that somebody can close themselves
off to you, or if they're youcan't really see in their eyes,
you're they're just reflectingyou back to you.
Some people are really good atdoing that, and they don't even
realize they're doing it.
They're just imitating you andgiving or giving you what you
want to hear to get somethingout of you, but not actually
giving anything of themselves.
Anyways, he's a shithead, or sh-I think I don't know.
SPEAKER_03 (34:29):
Yeah, it was beautiful.
Yeah, it is beautiful, it's anexperience.
It is an experience.
And uh, I can't remember whatI'm about to say is the worst.
Um but I was watching RealHousewives with my husband.
Oh my god.
Which like a franchise.
I wanna say it was RealHousewives of OC.
Yes, it was OC.
(34:51):
And these broads were talking toa to one of their daughters,
like all of them together weretalking about one of the
daughters to and uh the daughterhad just gone through a breakup,
and they were going around thetable talking about their worst
breakups in like such abeautiful, like, isn't it
amazing to be able to look backon that as a story now and not
(35:12):
as a heartbreak?
Not that I'm getting lifelessons from the real housewives
of OC, but it was so fun andlike it was a cute moment on
that show where I was like, it'strue.
I have gone through some reallyterrible breakups, and they're
just stories now.
SPEAKER_02 (35:30):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (35:30):
And they're like stories that I really actually
appreciate in my life, you know,even with the PTSD that came
with a couple of them.
SPEAKER_02 (35:37):
Whoa.
SPEAKER_03 (35:38):
Um, you know, like they're but they're things that
have informed and brought a lotor just as much as you know the
good times.
SPEAKER_02 (35:48):
Yeah.
I think it ends up clarifyingwhat you want and what you need
eventually.
It can be so incredibly painful,and it can sometimes last for a
while.
SPEAKER_03 (36:01):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (36:02):
It's not abnormal to feel heartbreak for longer than
you think that you should, youknow.
I remember with one of my lovesthat I had, I was like, I'm
never gonna stop thinking abouthim every day.
Like, when is this gonna end?
When am I gonna stop obsessing?
It went on for so long that Iwas obsessed with him after I
(36:24):
broke up with him.
And then one day I was workingand I saw this little boy kind
of toddler.
I was working at this framingstore, framing art, and I saw
this little boy with curlyblonde hair and blue eyes kind
of toddle into the store.
And I looked down at him and Isaid, That's Ben.
(36:45):
I was like, oh my god, that'sBen.
And he was just my ex, like thislittle toddler.
I don't know how, whatever.
He just was, okay, and thisreally happened.
Then when I went for my break, Iwas like sitting on this bench
and I was like, oh my gosh,that's the first time I've
thought about Ben in like twoweeks.
I'm like, oh my god, it'shappening.
I'm I'm getting over it.
Holy shit.
I mean, I did just think thistoddler was my ex, which isn't a
(37:07):
great sign, but I really havebeen thinking about other stuff.
So maybe MJ's over it already,but if she's not, she will be in
time.
SPEAKER_03 (37:17):
Yeah.
And we really took a left turnwith this poem.
Yeah.
We just we ran with it.
SPEAKER_02 (37:22):
Yeah.
Thank you so much, MJ.
SPEAKER_03 (37:24):
Yeah, that was really beautiful.
SPEAKER_02 (37:26):
Okay, so on the next episode, we are gonna talk about
character development, which issomething Rachel's really
passionate about.
SPEAKER_03 (37:33):
I am, and I love I I am so curious as to how you
develop your characters, which Iknow you do a little bit more
pantsing on, right?
Yeah.
What you've said.
Where I mean, I'm gonna bring inmy outline to how I created
Carolyn, and it's you're gonnahave thoughts.
And I'm interested.
SPEAKER_02 (37:49):
Oh wow, okay.
I suggested because uh Rachel isactually an expert at Enneagram.
And if you haven't heard of it,it's a way of dissecting and
understanding your personality.
Um it's a personality quiz atfirst that it's really in-depth.
Sure.
What if you take one of thesetests as your character to kind
(38:09):
of understand your charactermore?
So when it asks, if you're latefor a party, how do you feel?
SPEAKER_03 (38:14):
A like it's okay, I'll get there when I get there,
or B, it's I freak out and yellat everyone around me.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (38:22):
Yeah.
And then think about okay, howwould my character act?
I think that that would be likea really cool exercise in like
fleshing out your character.
SPEAKER_03 (38:29):
I think it really would be.
So yeah, I will uh bring all ofmy Enneagram knowledge to the
table because it I think that'sa really fun way to look at it
for sure.
SPEAKER_02 (38:38):
I think I'm gonna take one of the Enneagram
quizzes as my character fromPillow Forts Down.
Okay.
Because right now I am workingon kind of making her more
complex and making people feelmore like attached to her and
stuff.
Sure.
SPEAKER_03 (38:52):
Yeah.
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (38:53):
I'm excited about talking about that.
Okay, thank you guys so much forsending in your work, Scott.
Um, can't wait to hear yourresponse to MJ's beautiful poem.
Yeah, can't wait.
And Dave, we'll send you moreprompts.
I want to hear more.
Actually, I want to hear what'sgoing on with this dude who's
saying more weight in the place.
Where is he?
Is he gonna get out?
(39:14):
He has to get out, okay?
Yeah.
Dave, you've given us too muchpower.
Now I feel like I can box youaround and tell you what to do,
and you'll do it for us.
SPEAKER_03 (39:21):
All right.
Thanks, guys.
Okay, thanks.
Bye.
Bye.
Write your heart out.
SPEAKER_02 (00:06):
Hi, I'm Kayla Ogden and I'm Rachel Sear.
SPEAKER_03 (00:09):
And this is Write Your Heart Out.
SPEAKER_02 (00:12):
And we're doing a story time episode.
Is this our third story time?
It's either our third or itmight be our I think it's our
fourth.
The storytime episodes are mypersonal favorite.
They're fun because yeah, I justlove storytelling and poetry,
and especially when we can kindof connect with listeners,
that's it's just the best.
It's the best.
It is, it's really fun.
(00:34):
Today we have poems by one of mybest friends, Blair Vischer.
We have the second part ofRachel Sears' story.
Does the story have a name?
SPEAKER_03 (00:46):
Uh well, in my Google Docs, it's just called
Enemies to Lovers, because thatwas the prompt like section.
So I'm going into that with thatright now.
SPEAKER_02 (00:54):
Um that would be good, like for keywords.
People Google like enemies tolovers story and then just yours
pops up because that's what younamed it.
SPEAKER_03 (01:02):
It's not a full chapter because I limited myself
to one hour.
I think it's a good add-on towhat we've already talked about.
SPEAKER_02 (01:08):
This is amazing.
So if you go back and listen tothe last story time and listen
to Rachel's, I really liked it,and there were so many um
breadcrumbs or something that Iwanted to follow.
I was very curious to see whatwas gonna happen next.
There were a lot of questionsleft in my mind, and so I begged
her to write more, and shegranted us an hour of her
(01:29):
writing time to keep on going.
Um and then we have a story byDave.
SPEAKER_03 (01:36):
Yes, my dad, Dave Rickenbach.
SPEAKER_02 (01:39):
Dave Rickenbach, and I've been calling him David.
SPEAKER_03 (01:41):
That's okay.
That is his legal name, it'sDavid.
Yes.
David, in my head, David's mylittle brother.
Oh and then Dave is my dad.
But whatever.
Whatever I want.
I mean, he didn't say he wantedto be anonymous, so Dave
Rickenbach, here it is.
SPEAKER_02 (01:56):
Here we go.
Um, but we're gonna save his forlast, I think.
Yes.
And for those of you who arewondering about the switcheroo
between MJ and Scott Gibson, MJsent us hers, and we are so
excited, beyond excited, tolisten to it.
Yeah, I really can't wait.
But Scott, when he suggested theswitcheroo, he was like, Oh,
(02:18):
this is an idea.
Maybe this could happen in thefuture sometime.
Who knows?
And then Rachel and I were on itlike white on rice, and we
immediately got MJ to write apoem, and then we're like,
Scott, where's yours?
And he was like, I'm busy, Idon't know, I can't do it.
SPEAKER_03 (02:31):
So how his creative juices flew.
Yes, yeah, they don't flow thatway.
SPEAKER_02 (02:36):
He he just said that his life has been, quote,
ridiculous lately, which couldmean so many different things.
If you listen to Scott's poem onthe storytime from last week,
you may imagine that he's stuckin a Thai prison or something
like that.
I really don't know.
He has access to his phone andhe has been messaging me.
So hopefully everything's o okayover there.
(02:57):
He said that we should go aheadand read MJ's poem and then he
would submit his in the future.
SPEAKER_03 (03:03):
Okay.
Should I maybe I should text MJright now and see how she feels
about it?
Yeah.
Should I?
Yeah.
Okay, I'll message her rightnow.
We'll get going with the storytime, and then if she responds,
then we'll roll with it.
SPEAKER_02 (03:16):
Then we'll roll with it.
That would be great.
I really want to hear hersbecause this will be her third
poem that we featured on theshow.
And we wanted her to write aboutlove.
So I love young love.
There's nothing like it.
And one other thing I wanted tomention was that Rachel got us
on Reddit.
I did.
Which means we are what are whatare Redditors?
(03:37):
Inside Redditors.
SPEAKER_03 (03:38):
Oh, we know you know, Reddit's quite the rabbit
hole.
SPEAKER_02 (03:44):
Reddit's amazing, actually.
SPEAKER_03 (03:46):
It is.
It's like everything from adviceto funny stuff, really sad, dark
stuff.
Yeah.
I mean, like, you can go down alot of rabbit holes on Reddit.
SPEAKER_02 (03:56):
I love the Am I the Asshole?
Oh, yes.
Reddit.
It is the best.
SPEAKER_03 (04:00):
So I've been posting, I created a Reddit
community for our storytimestuff to put out there into the
world.
Amazing.
So we'll see what happens.
SPEAKER_02 (04:10):
So far, we're just posting our own stuff, right?
We can't just post.
I have no idea what a Redditcommunity is even like or what
it does, but I'm excited to divein and get on there.
So if you want to be a part ofit, is that a thing?
SPEAKER_03 (04:26):
I think you can like join our community.
Yes, that's how you would beable to read our story times if
you wanted to, and then sharethem to the world if you feel so
inclined.
Can they also post their ownstories in our community?
I think so, and that would beamazing.
And then we would read them onthe podcast.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That would be a great way tocommunicate with us.
SPEAKER_02 (04:44):
Yes.
SPEAKER_03 (04:44):
If you want to.
SPEAKER_02 (04:45):
If you want to read on a storytime, either email it
to contact atwriteyourheartoutpod.com or go
on our Reddit for Write YourHeart Out Pod.
That's our handle.
That's our handle.
And post it on there and wewould be so excited.
Oh my god, I would literallysqueal when I see it.
I would, I would.
(05:06):
Guys, we're just getting startedhere.
You guys are on the ground floorof Write Your Heart Out.
SPEAKER_03 (05:11):
All right, wait.
Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee BreakingNews.
MJ says yes.
SPEAKER_02 (05:15):
Oh, yes.
So should we play that one afterDave's?
Yeah.
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (05:20):
Let's do it.
Let's make her the cream of theI mean the icing on the cake.
The cream at the top of the pot.
The cream pot.
The cream pot.
No, I don't like it.
Okay, sorry, MJ.
You the cream of the crop,though.
Well, what?
We don't know that.
SPEAKER_02 (05:35):
No, we're not blairs.
I mean, Blair are probably goodtoo.
SPEAKER_03 (05:39):
I mean, I'm sure they're okay.
SPEAKER_02 (05:41):
Okay.
She's just going last, guys.
It has no significance.
This is in random order.
It has nothing to do with yourbeing better than anyone else.
Yeah.
Exactly.
SPEAKER_03 (05:51):
Okay.
But speaking of people beingbetter than anyone else, we're
not because we didn't make thetop eight people on novelry.
Oh.
I saw the email that was likeour top eight ones.
And I was like, they would havenotified me if I was a top
eight, right?
SPEAKER_02 (06:08):
Yeah, so you knew immediately.
SPEAKER_03 (06:10):
Well I mean, unless you held out hope.
I held out hope and I scrolledthrough and I was like, that's
not the first line to any ofmine.
And I don't think that was thefirst line to any of Kayla's.
SPEAKER_02 (06:21):
Did you submit more than one, or you just forget
what you submitted or what yourfirst line was?
SPEAKER_03 (06:25):
No, I submitted the first chapter of Carolyn.
Oh.
And then I submitted the firstchapter of Dinner for Eight.
SPEAKER_02 (06:32):
Okay, well, they're insane if they didn't choose
you, Rachel.
Well, 22.
Was it 2200 or 22,000?
SPEAKER_03 (06:41):
Oh, so oh, like 22,000.
It was a lot of outfit.
SPEAKER_02 (06:45):
It was 22,000.
So.
SPEAKER_03 (06:47):
And I'm just gonna be a hater for a second.
The eight that I did read, theyjust post the first sentence of
each one.
And oh I wasn't a fan.
Serious?
What was it about being audited?
I'm not into it.
SPEAKER_02 (07:01):
Well, maybe it gets freaky or something.
Yeah, when they sent me theemail, the next week's story
shortlist, I couldn't figure outwhere to find it.
Like I had to click through somany clicks, and I never got to
see who it was, but I just knewthat it wasn't me.
But I do want to, I would liketo see what they chose, I guess.
SPEAKER_03 (07:20):
Should we read them?
Or maybe not?
SPEAKER_02 (07:23):
Like, should we publish them without consent?
SPEAKER_03 (07:25):
Well, it's just the first sentence.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (07:28):
Well, where are we?
SPEAKER_03 (07:29):
I mean, are we wounded?
Are we wounded puppies?
SPEAKER_02 (07:32):
Like I'm looking through their website, I can't
fucking figure anything out.
SPEAKER_03 (07:36):
Alright.
Well, we're going to move onthen.
Oh.
Oh, oh, oh, we found it.
We found it.
SPEAKER_02 (07:42):
Oh, the first line.
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
I want to do this.
Do it.
Okay, so I'm gonna read you thethere were eight finalists to
the novely's next big story.
That's the short list.
SPEAKER_03 (07:55):
And I believe now people can go vote and give
their opinion.
SPEAKER_02 (07:59):
Oh, okay.
Really?
Just basically.
SPEAKER_03 (08:00):
That's what I'm saying.
Because voting starts now iswhat it said at the bottom.
SPEAKER_02 (08:03):
Oh, read the full entry and vote for finalist one.
So this is um on this page, it'sjust showing us the first line,
and then we can click through toread the whole thing and we can
vote.
But it's also showing us whatsome of the editors said about
the story.
So that's interesting.
Um, so here we go.
Oh, they don't even tell us thename of the person.
SPEAKER_03 (08:24):
Well, I think that that's why, right?
Oh, because we don't want tohave to Google them and I mean
it would make a bias, yeah,wouldn't it?
SPEAKER_02 (08:31):
Yeah.
Okay, so finalist one.
This is the first line.
He wanted to teach me a lesson,so he left me on the side of the
road somewhere in ruralMissouri.
That one?
Yay.
Yes.
That's sad.
Oh my gosh.
Um, and then finalist two wrote,Grace Labille is turning 20 on
top of a man who does not loveher and will not date her.
SPEAKER_03 (08:55):
I probably did the same thing, girl.
SPEAKER_02 (08:57):
Okay.
So finalist three.
The bird stopped singing on themorning of the audit.
SPEAKER_03 (09:04):
Oh, there's the audit.
SPEAKER_02 (09:05):
Ooh, I think this one, to me, it's giving like
sci-fi.
Sure.
SPEAKER_03 (09:10):
I think I think it is.
Like all the clocks turn 13.
Have you been audited before?
SPEAKER_02 (09:15):
Have you?
Yes.
That sounds scary.
It was horrible.
I don't know what would happenwith my crypto.
I'd be like, I don't know.
I have a few wallets.
That would make it even worse.
Make it really worse.
So, finalist number four.
If you ever wake up in a gildedcarriage pulled by white horses
with shimmering panes, don'tpanic.
You're already doomed.
Huh.
(09:36):
Okay.
Cool.
SPEAKER_03 (09:37):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (09:38):
Finalist five.
You can fit the entire crematedremains of a five foot two woman
inside a hot water bottle.
Why does it have to be a hotwater bottle?
Yeah, creepy.
Oh, hot water bottles are thosethings that you used to sleep
with, right?
The big mouth thing, and then ithas like the giant square
(09:58):
pocket.
Yeah, and it's like rubber andyou fill it up with hot water.
I think about when I think of ahot water bottle.
Okay, interesting.
Finalist six.
Every night for almost a monthafter her son's suicide on
TikTok live, their cat waits.
Ew.
Ooh, ouch.
Larry.
Giving Larry vibes.
Larry did it.
(10:19):
Finalist seven.
The sheep didn't care that thedictator was dying.
Whoa, this is like my thing.
I know.
When I read that one, I waslike, oh my god, did she change
her first line and Kayla's inthere?
Weird.
No, that is not.
Right?
How weird would that be?
Yeah.
If it wins and it's like adystopian thing where the sheep
(10:39):
and then the women die andstuff, I'm gonna feel really
weird inside.
SPEAKER_03 (10:42):
Well.
SPEAKER_02 (10:43):
I already feel weird inside that we wrote the same
kind of story about Larry.
SPEAKER_03 (10:48):
I know.
Like it just makes you feel itwas the muse thing.
SPEAKER_02 (10:51):
Yeah, maybe it was just the muse.
It wasn't that we're basic.
SPEAKER_03 (10:54):
Whispering.
No, no, no.
I mean, I I have my basicmoments, but I don't think that
that is why Larry came to be.
No.
And it certainly has nothing todo with your dystopian sheep.
SPEAKER_02 (11:05):
Okay.
Okay.
I obviously am so neurotic.
Like when I do this podcast, I'mlike, I'm neurotic.
Okay, so finalist eight.
Harlow had never known what itmeant to be clean.
Ooh, I like that one.
SPEAKER_03 (11:19):
Well, I like these all a lot better when you read
them to me.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (11:22):
Oh, yeah.
I mean, I think they're allgood.
SPEAKER_03 (11:24):
I was being a real bitch.
But I also realized I waslosing, you know, in that
moment.
SPEAKER_02 (11:30):
Oh, yeah, it's hard.
It's hard.
Now are you starting to feel umcompersion?
Do you feel compersion now forthese authors?
SPEAKER_03 (11:38):
Yeah, definitely way more compersion than jealous,
right?
Than jealous.
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (11:43):
Yeah, I'm I don't know.
I'm getting there.
It's just an uneasy feeling.
Um they say in this business youhave to deal with rejection a
lot.
And I didn't start that untilmaybe like a year ago because I
was just writing, writing,writing in my dreamland and
imagining that it was the bestbook that had ever existed.
And then, you know, you startputting yourself out there a
(12:05):
little bit and you're like, oh,this is what it, this is what it
means to try and fail.
But at least you're playing thegame.
You know, absolutely.
At least you're on the field.
Yeah.
Going after it.
You miss 100%.
You don't take.
True.
We took a shot.
We actually took a shot.
We did.
SPEAKER_03 (12:24):
Okay, let's do this.
SPEAKER_02 (12:26):
Yes.
Are we ready?
SPEAKER_03 (12:27):
Yes, we're ready for Rachel's part two of This is
Enemies to Lovers.
I bel I will I'm gonna say isthe first part of chapter two.
Okay.
Where we left.
I'm just gonna read the lastparagraph of chapter one in case
anyone needs a little refresher.
Is that good?
SPEAKER_02 (12:42):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (12:43):
Okay.
So the last paragraph of chapterone was I can feel his eyes on
me, and I hate how much I lovehim watching me.
I, the front desk receptionist,had always felt as though I was
merely a tiny blip on his radar,and I would be lying if I didn't
admit that I hadn't had a chipon my shoulder about it.
This feels better than itshould.
Let him watch.
In the bathroom I stand at themirror, observing my hollow
(13:05):
cheekbones.
My muddy brown eyes are dark andget lost in the shadow of my
thick side swept bangs.
I push them back out of my faceand observe myself for a moment,
thankful that my dollar storemakeup still looks good from
this morning, and use my middlefinger to lightly dab under each
eye, ensuring mascara hasn'tbecome smeared underneath.
I lift my arms, watching myselfin the mirror as I take a quick
(13:25):
sniff under each armpit and thensigh.
Thank God I don't smell.
I bare my teeth in the mirror,looking to make sure there's
nothing stuck, and then look upto the ceiling as I try to
remember what food could even bestuck there.
When was the last time I ate?
On cue, my stomach audiblycreaks in anticipation of the
hot meal I know June will bebringing out for me.
Something with actual fat andprotein.
Okay.
(13:45):
I focus in and lean over thesink to give myself a pep talk.
Kimberly, you got this.
It seems like his intentions aregood.
Hear him out.
Buying you food doesn't mean youdepend on him.
You won't owe him anything.
It doesn't mean you need him.
It doesn't mean anything.
I shake my head and look downinto the chipped porcelain sink.
It's been so long since Iallowed myself to let anyone in.
(14:05):
June is the closest thing I haveto family anymore.
The only one that seems to care.
She has never once handed me abill after I've eaten here, yet
I still can't bring myself toorder more than buttered toast.
With years of history betweenus, I still don't want her to
think I depend on her for food,even though I know I'm not
fooling her.
I'm sure if I could go totherapy, they'd tell me I need
to let myself lean on people.
But that's so much easier saidthan done.
(14:27):
No college educated therapisthas had to live this life.
They don't know what it's liketo have an unreliable, reckless,
self-centered asshole of afather, to go through the
repeated loss and abandonment Idid, to have lived in their car
since they were 16.
My own mother's last words to mewere, never depend on anyone,
Kimmy.
Nobody can be trusted.
I watched her walk away from me,not even looking back with
(14:49):
remorse, with sadness, withemotion at all, as she
disappeared into the crowd.
Those words have been etchedinto my heart for over a decade
now, and as of last week, thereare also an ink on my forearm.
I pull up my sleeve and tracethe tattoo lightly.
It's still sensitive, but theredness has gone down, and the
fine lines are lightly raisedunder my fingertips.
They curl and wrap around eachother in a pattern of my own
(15:10):
design.
It looks like another languageto anyone else.
Even the artist didn't know whathe was putting into my skin.
But I know, and I will alwaysknow.
Pulling down the sleeve of mysweatshirt, I tuck it into my
fist and take a deep breathbefore heading back out into the
restaurant.
As I step out into the smallhallway, the smell of cooking
oil and sausage patties wafts byand my stomach groans again.
I peek my head around the cornerand see the back of Jared's head
(15:31):
sitting in the booth.
He's looking out the window intothe night, or maybe back at his
own reflection in the glass.
Jesus, he's so fucking gorgeous.
I'd stare at myself all nighttoo if I looked at like him.
His green eyes, chiseled jaw,and ever-present five o'clock
shadow are just the tip of theiceberg, and I find my eyes
wandering to the nape of hisneck, imagining myself grazing
him there with my lips,breathing him in.
(15:52):
Suddenly he turns and finds mewatching him.
I jump back, knocking over ahigh chair and losing my
balance.
A hearty laugh rings out,filling the entire restaurant,
and my face bursts into flames,heat rising in my cheeks as I
steady myself by touching thewall next to me.
I stop my foot, disappointed forgetting caught, and lean down to
hide my face and pick up the topold high chair.
When I look up, he's comingtowards me, and within seconds
(16:14):
his hand is on mine, taking thewooden seat out of my grasp, and
the same tingling from earliererupts through my hand where our
skin touches.
I look down at the connection.
Sure there must be somethingtangible causing this sensation,
but there's nothing but his handagainst my own.
I look up at him, hoping to findthat he confirms the feeling
that it's not just me, but I getnothing, not seeming to notice.
(16:36):
Sorry, I did not edit this.
He continues to take the chairfrom my hand and places it
against the wall, turning hisback to me, chuckling.
Whether he's laughing with me orat me, I'm not sure.
And I feel the heat rise back upin my gut.
I stomp around him and head backto the booth.
SPEAKER_02 (16:52):
He likes she knows that she likes him.
She knows.
SPEAKER_03 (16:56):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (16:57):
She thinks he's hot.
Right.
But she doesn't know how hefeels.
He's got something.
Yeah, he's got something goingon.
Yeah.
I'm trying to decide what he is.
What is he?
What is he?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Okay.
Did he have a reflection?
Because Did he have a re goodquestion?
I didn't even thought aboutthat.
(17:18):
Great.
Thank you so much for indulgingus.
SPEAKER_03 (17:21):
Yes.
Seriously can't wait to seewhere that goes.
So I have, speaking of Reddit,been posting this one on Reddit.
Oh yeah.
And uh I put it out there intothe Reddit world that I don't
know if this should turn intolike a romanticy type of thing
or what it should turn into.
And I wanted to see what Reddithad to say, and nobody has
responded.
(17:41):
But it's said that people havelooked at it.
Yeah, a lot of people havelooked at it.
SPEAKER_02 (17:46):
It is crazy.
Awesome.
SPEAKER_03 (17:49):
So if you want to read this and you want to like
upvote it or suggest where itshould go or something, I'll be
reading it.
Let me know.
SPEAKER_02 (17:59):
I think I want to do this too.
Um, enter in like a serialchapter by chapter thing.
SPEAKER_03 (18:04):
Right, isn't that fun?
I love that idea for us.
SPEAKER_02 (18:06):
Yeah, me too.
I wonder if you you wrote it allon there.
SPEAKER_03 (18:10):
Yeah, I mean I think it's fun.
I I from what I understand aboutReddit, which is minimal, and I
know that makes like me soundreally old and stupid, but like
people love to be a part of iton there.
Like they like to be in on theaction of how it's happening.
And I I think that that's cool.
SPEAKER_02 (18:25):
Yeah, I think it's very cool.
And also, there's a lot of umbooks that ended up getting
published and did really wellthat started out as fanfic,
fanfiction.
Right.
Right.
And I just think that it'stotally okay.
General advice is if somethinghas been published before or
gets self-published, nopublisher is gonna wanna print
(18:46):
it or whatever.
But if it gets a good reactionfrom people, I think that the
industry is changing.
So I think if you were able tosay, you know, oh my gosh, 200
people followed along on myjourney and they really liked it
and they connected with me overit, I think that that's only
like gonna be a positive thing.
Absolutely.
Yeah, so I'm really excitedabout that.
(19:07):
Me too.
So um, this is gonna be a thingthat you're gonna do.
You're gonna go chapter bychapter and I think so.
SPEAKER_03 (19:12):
I'm just gonna roll with this one.
That's so good.
I mean, if I'm dedicating, and Ialso don't want to dedicate more
than an hour or two to this bookat a time.
Yeah.
So I think that doing it thatway is really fun.
Yes.
And because I want to reallyfocus, continue focusing on
editing Dinner for Eight.
Yeah.
And make that my main priority.
But like this is a fun, like waymore interactive way to keep
(19:35):
keep writing, like keep keep itout.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (19:38):
Yeah.
Okay, great.
All right, now we're gonna haveBlair's poems.
Um I have a feeling they'reshort.
SPEAKER_03 (19:45):
So you haven't read them.
Oh, she did audio recordings.
Yeah.
I'm so excited.
Okay, perfect.
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (19:52):
The easy dark by Blair Visher.
So late, it's light out there.
So many dreamless awakeningsjolted, distorted.
Once the fact flew free in thisdark, full emptiness that
supported me, then dropped away.
As I turned my back, I woke up,jolted up from my easy dark,
swift and proud and long foundthe dark my love forsaken me,
(20:16):
and vice versa.
Not out of spontaneity, but Ishaded, can't see, see in this
dank dark to infinity force,this rebirth.
And there is no going back.
I shade my eyes, I cower in thislight.
Hot heat seeks my heart withoutlies.
So late, it's light out there.
Waking from the easy dark to theprying sun.
(20:38):
Oh, that's beautiful.
SPEAKER_02 (20:39):
Oh, I wonder if that's about a baby coming out.
Oh.
Do you cause um the easy dark,and then you're kind of coming
out and shielding your eyesagainst the light, and she's
saying something about likethere being like lies out there.
I could be totally wrong.
I want Blair to tell me ifthat's about a baby being born.
(20:59):
But that was beautiful.
SPEAKER_00 (21:00):
That was beautiful.
SPEAKER_02 (21:01):
I love her voice.
Okay, here's the next one.
Halfway Hero.
SPEAKER_00 (21:04):
Halfway Heroes by Blair Visher.
My breath ice cold, sounds ofsilence.
In the heat of midday, I realizeI can never get past this
cold-blooded happiness.
Worlds freeze, fog shivers as itquivers in moonlit air.
Zen hands seem to shake with theeffort of keeping us out here.
A truth caught in the openbecause the hot sun hates
(21:26):
halfway heroes.
SPEAKER_02 (21:27):
Okay, so Blair's a really interesting person.
She had a homestead for a longtime where she she everything
her family ate for a year, sheproduced on that farm.
My dream.
It was amazing.
And they're they're vegan, so itwasn't she wasn't No chickens.
No chickens.
There was a little pond in theiron their property.
(21:50):
And as she began growing foodand taking care of the land and
everything, all these differentlike species of animals started
to come to like her yard.
And she created her her ownlittle ecosystem there.
So when I hear this poem, itmakes me think of there was a
time when her and her husbandbought land somewhere and they
(22:10):
were gonna build a house on thatland.
And I wonder if that's whatshe's talking about when she's
talking about her hands ummoving and working to keep them
there, you know?
Okay, so the next one is calledSalt.
SPEAKER_00 (22:23):
Salt by Blair Visher.
Feel it course through yourmind.
Questions with no answers I canfind.
Time's just begun for you and I,forces none but us would deny,
and so you're gone, leavingnothing.
But I remember more thansleeping.
Then you traced a teardrop withyour hand from the corner of my
eye, along the curve of my face,and swore I'd never cry.
(22:45):
Somehow it's the salt I tasteand trust against the lie.
SPEAKER_02 (22:50):
Oh my god, that just gave me chills, Blair.
Because it's interesting that,like, the person they're tracing
your tear with their hand whilethey're saying you're never
gonna cry.
SPEAKER_03 (23:01):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (23:01):
And then you're like, uh, actually, I can taste
this tear in the mouth.
Like they're almost like atriptych, like they kind of work
together.
She writes fantasy.
Can you tell?
SPEAKER_03 (23:12):
I definitely wouldn't have connected those
dots on my own.
Yeah, but that's awesome.
Yeah, thank you so much.
Thank you so much.
SPEAKER_02 (23:17):
Continue to share, especially if you have um a
short story.
We'd love to read some YAfantasy.
SPEAKER_03 (23:24):
Absolutely, please send some YA fantasy.
What was the next one?
Was it Dave's?
We're gonna go with Dave.
I cannot wait.
Okay, he said it got a littledark.
I have not read it.
So this was his two-hourproject.
So he used the prompts from acouple episodes ago.
I want to say it was episode 12,where I got the enemies to lover
prompt.
And so in that list on ourwebsite, he went and he chose a
(23:46):
prompt from there.
And I don't know which one hechose.
Maybe we'll be able to figure itout from this.
He did the same two hours, hegave himself a time limit.
SPEAKER_02 (23:53):
Okay.
SPEAKER_03 (23:53):
Okay.
Okay, wow.
And it's a story.
SPEAKER_02 (23:56):
It's a story.
And it has a title?
SPEAKER_03 (23:58):
No.
Oh, okay.
Let's hear it.
Okay.
I mean, unless the title is atwo-hour project.
Okay.
Okay.
Never a good sign, he thought.
But when did a sign become goodor bad?
A sign is a sign is a sign.
They all just tell a story aboutwhat is, whether anyone is
paying attention or not.
No one had told him this wouldhurt so bad.
(24:19):
In fact, thinking about it, herealized no one had actually
told him anything.
He had always been in the dark.
Metaphorically before andliterally now.
He just didn't know that itwould be both dark and painful.
He felt surprised by that, andfelt surprised at the surprise.
Stupid, he told himself.
Why did he think he would knowanything?
(24:40):
Of course he would be surprised.
That is what happens to anyonewhen they start paying attention
after not paying attention forso long.
Lots of surprises.
Ouch.
Too little, too late.
If he was going to be mad atsomeone for not paying attention
to him, not warning him, nothelping him, he could start with
number one.
Who was supposed to help someonewith who won't help himself?
(25:02):
Who was supposed to explainthings to someone who's not
listening?
Someone who makes a big show ofnot listening.
He felt shame now.
A list was forming.
Darkness, pain, shame, all thehits.
At least he could add humor tothe list.
Darkness, pain, shame, andhumor.
That had always been hissuperpower, sarcastic humor.
(25:22):
Like the best Masons buildingthe strongest, highest, and
thickest walls brick by brick.
He had used his sarcasticsuperpowers to wall himself from
everyone.
Walling himself in and othersout.
He could call for help, but evennow, in the dark, hurting,
shamed, he felt somehow blacklysecure behind the emotional
bricks and mortar.
(25:43):
No one would find him because noone was looking.
Someone had to care to comelooking, and who would that be?
No one would hear him either.
He was sure of that.
The hard work of being worthlistening to, being a two-way
street, and his life was allone-way alleys and dead ends.
Trust me, he thought, to no onein particular.
I would love to know why this ishappening to me.
(26:04):
But then thought aloud, stupidagain.
He knew why it was happening,and no amount of conversational
projection was gonna change athing.
No one to blame.
There never was anyone else toblame, but blame comes easy.
Shame makes it a habit to blame,and habit becomes addiction.
And there you go.
Easy as Bob's your uncle.
(26:24):
Humor, he thought.
Thank God humor is on the list.
And he allowed a chuckle.
But it was a mistake.
It hurt to laugh, and not justin some homespunny metaphor
metaphorical way, like thedarkness, the real pain was
real.
Giles Corey, he thought tohimself, I'm going to die like
Giles Corey.
He allowed himself thedistraction of remembering the
(26:45):
story.
Giles Corey, one of the menkilled in the Salem witch
trials.
They crushed him with massivestones on his chest in the
wicked process of torturing aconfession out of him.
When they asked, innocent orguilty, he only replied, More
weight.
And of course, they gave himwhat he asked for.
Why does that story come to menow?
He wondered.
Was there some sort of nobilityin never giving in?
(27:07):
Death before confession.
Was it worth it?
He wondered.
What is worth dying for?
Then as an experiment, moreweight, he said softly.
Then with more conviction.
More weight.
Trying again, he growled.
More weight.
Then shouting.
More weight until he was hoarseand tired of the experiment.
(27:27):
He felt nothing again.
No, not nothing.
He felt powerful feelings.
He reviewed the list.
Pain, darkness, shame, and humorwas eluding him.
Something else was coming toreplace it.
He could tell he was not gonnalike it.
For a wasted minute, he hadthought that he could shout his
way into some noble corner ofGuile's story.
Death before confession.
(27:48):
Death before compromise.
His face was wet now in thesilence that followed the
shouting, and reality camerushing in at him, compressing
him like the matter in the blackhole of his life.
Then he was left with darkness,pain, shame, and wouldn't you
know it?
Humor had become sadness.
SPEAKER_02 (28:06):
Whoa, oh my gosh, I love it.
Wow, wow, wow.
Okay, is the guy being tortured?
SPEAKER_03 (28:13):
He's in jail?
It's I can't tell.
He's clearly somewhere dark.
You know what I got?
What came to mind was kind ofthe pit in the pendulum.
You know, the guy when he's inthe pit, like alone in this
darkness.
The a girl in Poe.
Yeah.
And he's being tortured downthere.
Yeah.
But by himself.
Like I kind of get that vibe.
SPEAKER_02 (28:31):
Yeah.
I wonder if that um guy from thewitch trials that Giles Corey.
Yeah.
That must be a real I don'tknow.
I mean, that's terri.
The more weight.
Woof.
Yeah, he's a real guy, anEnglish farmer.
It was accused of witchcraftalong with his wife Martha Corey
during the Salem witch trials inthe province of Massachusetts
(28:51):
Bay.
SPEAKER_03 (28:52):
All right.
Well, thank you, Dad.
That was really wow.
SPEAKER_02 (28:56):
Yeah, I thought it was terrific.
I love the use of repetition andhow the list kept on building.
And I like the idea that humorturned to sadness.
And I wonder if there was thisone time when I was in my 20s
and I was talking to my roommateEric, who was having a hard time
finishing his PhD.
(29:16):
He would just go to school forso long and just never finish.
And then I remember he moved outsomewhere where he would just
live in a barn so that he'd haveno distractions so he could
write his thesis.
And then I saw him like a yearlater and I asked him if he
finished his thesis in the barn,and he said, no.
Like he did go to the barn, buthe still managed to not work on
(29:38):
what he was supposed to beworking on, which, anyways, he's
a really nice, interestingperson.
But he mentioned being on a boatsomewhere with some guy.
And the guy saying this to himwas you feel anger, you're
angry, you feel anger all thetime, but you know that
underneath anger is alwayssadness.
Yeah.
Like anger is just sadnessputting on a show.
SPEAKER_03 (30:00):
Sure.
SPEAKER_02 (30:01):
And then people say that about like humor sometimes
too.
Like people who are sad willjoke about it all the time.
SPEAKER_03 (30:07):
Well, yeah.
Like pretty prolific comediansare known to be quite depressed.
SPEAKER_02 (30:12):
Yeah.
And Dave's story when it wastalking about building up the
Masons, building up the bricks.
Were the bricks humor?
unknown (30:19):
Who?
SPEAKER_02 (30:21):
I think they were.
So yeah, that was really, reallygood.
I'd love to know where he is andlike, does he get out of it?
I know.
SPEAKER_03 (30:29):
I would love to know more.
I want him to get out of thereand redeem his life.
Yeah.
Okay.
So I re- I also, as reading it,I figured out what his uh prompt
was.
The one he chose was no one hadtold him it was hurt this bad.
Remember that was one of them.
I want to just give him moreprompts now.
I know.
Way to go, Dan.
(30:49):
Way to go.
Write more stuff.
So now we're gonna go with MJ.
She gave us permission.
And it is also an audiorecording.
Are we ready?
Let's go, MJ.
SPEAKER_01 (31:00):
Hello, this is MJ.
Um, this is my take on thebrilliant poem we heard last
episode from Scott about younglove, and this is my take on
that.
Using his poem, I guess, as aprompt, but putting it through
my own experiences, anyways.
This one is called Strangers.
From the moment you bumped intome in the hallway, you fell for
(31:22):
me.
You wore your smile for days,weeks, purely just for me.
I hadn't smiled in a while.
Truly, I don't believe I everhave.
But despite the pit of my death,loving you felt like taking the
breath I had been holding in allof my life.
We had nicknames and all thatjazz and dance and playing
musical chairs with ourintentions, playing hard to get,
I guess.
(31:42):
You'd play guess who and I'd askwho's there, and I suppose
that's young love, or maybe it'sjust dumb love, and I was an
idiot for you.
From the moment you bumped intome in the hallway, I knew it
would be just that.
Not a heartbreak or bone deepcut, but a mere bump.
Though I can't help but feel asif I had been showed.
I remember how you called meyour ladybug, how you crawled
your way into my heart, andladybugs have a typical lifespan
(32:06):
of about three months, and wecouldn't even make it to one.
I remember kissing under treesand cuddling on the beach.
I remember looking into youreyes and feeling as if I was
looking into mine.
You had mirrors, super eyes.
That's so that's why I can neversee your true intentions.
I only saw what I wanted to see,and I understand that you were
trying things out, but youdidn't have to try out me.
(32:28):
So now you expect me to justwalk away, walk through my days
as if we are just strangers.
When you bumped into me in thehallway, I never thought you'd
be the one to break my heart.
And that stupid fuckingintersection where you didn't
just break but dissected myheart.
I remember looking at the yellowwalk sign and pressing it a
million times.
I just wanted to walk, you know,run away.
(32:49):
And I saw a ladybug crawl up thestoplight pole, and how poetic.
It's as if the ladybug you sawin me was literally crawling
away.
But I held in my tears when youasked why I had nothing to say.
There's really nothing to say atall when you've pushed someone
into the pit of their deathsafter restricting the
metaphorical breath, and thensmiled through it all as if it
(33:11):
never happened, as if neither ofus bumped into each other, and
as if neither of us ever fell.
Thank you.
SPEAKER_03 (33:19):
Oh, MJ.
You are such an amazing thing.
SPEAKER_02 (33:21):
God, MJ.
MJ, is that about your lastbreakup?
Because if it is, I have to saysomething.
So they you're together for likeless than a month, but you're
cuddling on beaches and kissingunder trees and gazing into each
other's eyes.
Like that is amazing.
Yeah, it's part of arelationship.
(33:42):
I mean, I just think that theway that when you're young can
fall into these things is sobeautiful and and tragic.
And I love the way that you usethe bump in the poem where it
was like, oh, you you bumpedinto me, like they fell.
Why do I feel like I've beenshoved?
Yeah.
Like that is so sick.
SPEAKER_03 (34:03):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (34:04):
The way that somebody can close themselves
off to you, or if they're youcan't really see in their eyes,
you're they're just reflectingyou back to you.
Some people are really good atdoing that, and they don't even
realize they're doing it.
They're just imitating you andgiving or giving you what you
want to hear to get somethingout of you, but not actually
giving anything of themselves.
Anyways, he's a shithead, or sh-I think I don't know.
SPEAKER_03 (34:29):
Yeah, it was beautiful.
Yeah, it is beautiful, it's anexperience.
It is an experience.
And uh, I can't remember whatI'm about to say is the worst.
Um but I was watching RealHousewives with my husband.
Oh my god.
Which like a franchise.
I wanna say it was RealHousewives of OC.
Yes, it was OC.
(34:51):
And these broads were talking toa to one of their daughters,
like all of them together weretalking about one of the
daughters to and uh the daughterhad just gone through a breakup,
and they were going around thetable talking about their worst
breakups in like such abeautiful, like, isn't it
amazing to be able to look backon that as a story now and not
(35:12):
as a heartbreak?
Not that I'm getting lifelessons from the real housewives
of OC, but it was so fun andlike it was a cute moment on
that show where I was like, it'strue.
I have gone through some reallyterrible breakups, and they're
just stories now.
SPEAKER_02 (35:30):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (35:30):
And they're like stories that I really actually
appreciate in my life, you know,even with the PTSD that came
with a couple of them.
SPEAKER_02 (35:37):
Whoa.
SPEAKER_03 (35:38):
Um, you know, like they're but they're things that
have informed and brought a lotor just as much as you know the
good times.
SPEAKER_02 (35:48):
Yeah.
I think it ends up clarifyingwhat you want and what you need
eventually.
It can be so incredibly painful,and it can sometimes last for a
while.
SPEAKER_03 (36:01):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (36:02):
It's not abnormal to feel heartbreak for longer than
you think that you should, youknow.
I remember with one of my lovesthat I had, I was like, I'm
never gonna stop thinking abouthim every day.
Like, when is this gonna end?
When am I gonna stop obsessing?
It went on for so long that Iwas obsessed with him after I
(36:24):
broke up with him.
And then one day I was workingand I saw this little boy kind
of toddler.
I was working at this framingstore, framing art, and I saw
this little boy with curlyblonde hair and blue eyes kind
of toddle into the store.
And I looked down at him and Isaid, That's Ben.
(36:45):
I was like, oh my god, that'sBen.
And he was just my ex, like thislittle toddler.
I don't know how, whatever.
He just was, okay, and thisreally happened.
Then when I went for my break, Iwas like sitting on this bench
and I was like, oh my gosh,that's the first time I've
thought about Ben in like twoweeks.
I'm like, oh my god, it'shappening.
I'm I'm getting over it.
Holy shit.
I mean, I did just think thistoddler was my ex, which isn't a
(37:07):
great sign, but I really havebeen thinking about other stuff.
So maybe MJ's over it already,but if she's not, she will be in
time.
SPEAKER_03 (37:17):
Yeah.
And we really took a left turnwith this poem.
Yeah.
We just we ran with it.
SPEAKER_02 (37:22):
Yeah.
Thank you so much, MJ.
SPEAKER_03 (37:24):
Yeah, that was really beautiful.
SPEAKER_02 (37:26):
Okay, so on the next episode, we are gonna talk about
character development, which issomething Rachel's really
passionate about.
SPEAKER_03 (37:33):
I am, and I love I I am so curious as to how you
develop your characters, which Iknow you do a little bit more
pantsing on, right?
Yeah.
What you've said.
Where I mean, I'm gonna bring inmy outline to how I created
Carolyn, and it's you're gonnahave thoughts.
And I'm interested.
SPEAKER_02 (37:49):
Oh wow, okay.
I suggested because uh Rachel isactually an expert at Enneagram.
And if you haven't heard of it,it's a way of dissecting and
understanding your personality.
Um it's a personality quiz atfirst that it's really in-depth.
Sure.
What if you take one of thesetests as your character to kind
(38:09):
of understand your charactermore?
So when it asks, if you're latefor a party, how do you feel?
SPEAKER_03 (38:14):
A like it's okay, I'll get there when I get there,
or B, it's I freak out and yellat everyone around me.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (38:22):
Yeah.
And then think about okay, howwould my character act?
I think that that would be likea really cool exercise in like
fleshing out your character.
SPEAKER_03 (38:29):
I think it really would be.
So yeah, I will uh bring all ofmy Enneagram knowledge to the
table because it I think that'sa really fun way to look at it
for sure.
SPEAKER_02 (38:38):
I think I'm gonna take one of the Enneagram
quizzes as my character fromPillow Forts Down.
Okay.
Because right now I am workingon kind of making her more
complex and making people feelmore like attached to her and
stuff.
Sure.
SPEAKER_03 (38:52):
Yeah.
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (38:53):
I'm excited about talking about that.
Okay, thank you guys so much forsending in your work, Scott.
Um, can't wait to hear yourresponse to MJ's beautiful poem.
Yeah, can't wait.
And Dave, we'll send you moreprompts.
I want to hear more.
Actually, I want to hear what'sgoing on with this dude who's
saying more weight in the place.
Where is he?
Is he gonna get out?
(39:14):
He has to get out, okay?
Yeah.
Dave, you've given us too muchpower.
Now I feel like I can box youaround and tell you what to do,
and you'll do it for us.
SPEAKER_03 (39:21):
All right.
Thanks, guys.
Okay, thanks.
Bye.
Bye.
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