In this bonus episode of Writers With Wrinkles, Beth and Lisa critique the first page of a new upper middle grade fantasy novel, Kiki Won’t Be Goddess of the Underworld. If you’re an MG author looking for feedback on opening pages, strong character voice, or how to start your novel in the right place, this episode delivers clear, practical writing advice you can apply immediately.
Beth and Lisa read the full first page aloud and break down what works, what needs tightening, and how to improve pacing and clarity. They discuss why this submission has such a strong middle grade voice, how to avoid confusing world-building when mixing mythology, and what every MG writer should consider when crafting a compelling first chapter. Their critique highlights common pitfalls—like starting the story too early or overloading the reader with details—and offers smart strategies to create tension and hook readers fast.
What listeners will learn:
• How to craft a strong MG narrative voice
• How to clarify world-building in a fantasy opening
• How to identify where your story truly begins
• How to balance detail, pacing, and stakes in the first chapter
• Why breadcrumbing tension keeps young readers engaged
• What emotional dynamics resonate most with middle grade readers
This episode is perfect for writers revising their first pages, querying a middle grade fantasy manuscript, or trying to understand what grabs literary agents and young readers from page one. Beth and Lisa’s feedback will help you sharpen your opening, strengthen your story structure, and build a clearer path into your world.
Links & Resources
Submit your First Pages: writerswithwrinkles.net
Upcoming guest episode (Dec. 8): Mari Kesselring, Publishing Manager
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