January 19, 2025 • 70 mins
Welcome to the David Dawson Double Down.
Two films, one episode.
Fam-illi (2024).
Flesh Games (2023).
Join us as we enjoy the unparalleled lyricism of Karny J, witness the death-defying stunts of the Flesh Games stunt crew, and wonder upon the magic that is the Pizzazz.
------------------------------------
Email: wtfareyouwatchingpod@gmail.com
Voicemail: https://www.speakpipe.com/wtfareyouwatching
Instagram: @wtfareyouwatchingpod
Lisa: @lisawtfareyouwatching
Leaderboard: Here
Buy the movies: Instagram: @brobocop77, @other_trash
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
You will be given a test to determine your ability to withstand shock.
(00:05):
Well, look who's here.
This is the night when fear and horror walk hand in hand.
Do you feel up to it?
The most terrifying form of evil is that which lurks within the human mind.
(00:25):
Rated X.
Welcome to What the fuck are you watching? We're the gayest podcast on the internet.
I'm Chris and this is.
Hi, my name's Lisa. I'm what some people call a sex addict.
I mean, just because I like to have sex with a lot of boys doesn't make me a freak.
(00:46):
Okay.
Oh, yeah, that's me. I love it. I was hoping for that one.
We need to. I don't know, man. It's so good, but we have to cut some of it out.
I know it's a little long.
Yeah, it's Lisa.
It is me with a brand new introduction.
(01:06):
New year, new Lisa.
And we're also joined by.
Bo. Oh, my God.
It's Bo.
Oh, my God.
Shout out to Portland.
Portsmouth.
Portsmouth.
Gateshead.
Quilmese Quilms.
It's in Argentina.
(01:27):
Let's see, are these fucking territories of Narnia?
What's going on?
Baloney.
Oh, my God.
Bologna.
But you I don't know how you don't sound Italian when you say Italian words.
(01:48):
He has a disability.
Yeah, he does.
Yeah, he does.
Bologna.
Yeah, OK.
And besides, it's baloney.
Herkimer.
I see. I often see a word with a G and I'm like, no, that's baloney.
(02:10):
Herkimer.
Herkimer.
Carlsbad.
Love the caverns.
Vallejo.
Love the paint.
And a special shout out to Newmarket Enduroberplops.
Is this?
It was German.
OK.
I don't know what the fuck it really was.
I kind of thought so.
(02:32):
And I was like, surely.
The way the way syllables are formed in your mouth, though, when they're presented for me.
Sometimes it is hard to.
That's why that's why he looks like a little boy.
Learned to announce his colons.
(02:52):
Yeah, yeah.
For clarity, really.
Whoa, Lisa, what the fuck are you watching?
I'm watching two of David Dawson's movies.
Blush Games from twenty twenty three and Family from twenty twenty four.
Oh, yeah.
It's the motherfucking David Dawson double down.
(03:15):
It sure is.
It's our first ever double bill.
It could be a huge disaster.
We're going to see what happens.
I don't have much of a director spotlight for Mr. David Dawson, but I can share with
you a little bit of what I've gathered.
He's a fan of the King Cobra.
That's what's up, tubes.
He likes ICP.
(03:37):
Oh, awesome.
Likes Tegan and Sarah.
So he's got to be cool.
What a spectrum.
I know.
And a big fan of fucking beans.
OK, like the canned variety.
I think just all kinds of beans.
I just love beans.
Does he like sharing them over a campfire in the woods with a male partner?
(04:01):
A friend or out of a glass boot like that guy on YouTube?
No, I mean, I think it was just like his stove top.
I also like sharing a can of beans with a homie over a campfire in the subdued wilderness.
Petui.
Petui.
(04:25):
Now, in pretty much every episode and in the show notes of every episode, I post links to
where you can buy the movies at, and I'll be doing that for these.
There's a few different places you can get these.
You can get them direct from the source like I did through Instagram.
David Dawson's Instagram, ProboCop77.
(04:48):
You can also go to srscinema.com to grab a Blu-ray of Flesh Games.
It's also got some tapes at GoshDarnVideo.
OK.
Yeah.
So first up, we're going to be watching Family.
Fam-Illy.
(05:09):
This movie.
It's a short film.
A little short, boy.
Two struggling Juggalo rappers put blood, sweat, and tears into their newest music video.
Well, not if it only took them 19 minutes.
Yeah, I'm sure things do not end well.
We first discovered David Dawson during the unnamed footage festival live stream
(05:33):
where we watched The Leech.
Loved it.
Yeah, we did.
Can't wait for it to get a release if it does, because we'll fucking be covering it on the podcast.
We half-assed covered it on our coverage of the film festival.
It was like some world premiere shit and I was afraid to spoil things.
So I don't even think we really talked about it that much.
(05:55):
No.
But so, yeah, these are both found footage POV style movies.
So shout out to the found footage bros.
Starting with fucking Family.
Let's see how it goes.
This is also our first ever fucking physical release since I got a Blu-ray player for the
computer now.
(06:15):
So I'm going to do a little foley work here.
Smell it.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
It smells like the Midwest.
Is that Ranch?
Cheese curds.
Cheese curds.
Yeah, that makes sense.
(06:35):
Cheese curds dipped in ranch.
It's just lots of dairy.
Heavy dairy.
All right, motherfucking Family.
2024.
Let's do it.
Hey.
Oh, it's that guy.
(06:56):
Hell yeah.
We got ourselves a rap battle right now.
Hell yeah.
You dogs ready for this in this corner?
Rap battle in the street.
And on this side, Carni J.
(07:19):
Too bad you weren't feeling it back there in the street.
Yeah, you should never do that again.
Not in public.
Troy.
Yeah.
I love his hairstyle.
(07:39):
I would fuck the shit out of him.
If I'm being completely honest with you.
The raps did it for you.
Oh, listen, I need him to not talk at all, though.
No, I was just thinking like looking at him from this way.
(08:01):
He actually doesn't look bad.
No, he's really hot.
We gotta not speak.
They gotta go meet Terry.
What's popping off in here that they worked with at the haunted house 20 years ago?
Hell yeah.
Oh, the fucking green album.
(08:24):
Green book on vinyl.
The green book, sorry.
It's like my favorite twist.
It's the one we went and saw.
Yeah.
I love him.
(08:46):
What do you think, man?
What do you think?
I mean.
I mean, because when I piss, it goes two ways.
(09:07):
This is the music video.
I hope so.
Oh, Carney with a K.
Oh, yeah.
(09:31):
These athletes are wild.
God damn it, man.
This is amazing, dude, the beard.
Oh, what's a step?
(10:00):
Not that show, honey.
This makeup combined with the hair and the beard killing me.
That's my childhood.
That's a juggler rapper right there.
Yeah, my God.
Look at his fucking shirt, man.
Yeah, just all over.
(10:21):
Pack a lunch.
Step dead.
Where we go?
He wants to be entertained.
I'll entertain his fucking ass.
What are you doing?
I'll entertain his ass.
Yeah, take a pencil.
Big time.
You play a key fucking role on this.
You understand?
I need you more than ever hatchet.
(10:43):
Oh, yeah.
Oh, man.
Fuck.
Yeah.
Family.
Family.
Ah, yeah.
I didn't hate it.
No, I found it very amusing.
I did, too.
I liked it.
(11:04):
I didn't like love it.
It felt like.
Like.
But it is only 18 minutes long, so like, you know.
It was like a nostalgic fever fever dream that was like.
Yeah.
My whole family.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah, no, it's very nostalgic, man.
(11:24):
Like.
If when I was, you know, like 15, if we were fortunate enough to have a fucking camera,
yes, it probably fucking be us.
No, absolutely.
Maybe without the murder.
I don't know.
But yeah, dude, now this is fucking awesome.
I love this movie.
I mean, I think my only I just wish it was longer.
No, no, no, no.
(11:45):
That's what I was going to say.
I think this might be the only movie that I say I wish it was longer.
I won't I won't go that far.
I think this is like the perfect, you know, this said everything I needed to.
And then it got the fuck out of there.
Yeah, I guess.
Yeah, you're probably right.
Now, you're probably right.
Because, you know, you know, it was exhausting after about half an hour.
(12:08):
Juggalos.
Yeah.
Carni J.
Yeah, I've been to those concerts.
I've smelled these people, you know.
I like the movie.
I think that I like Leech better.
But I do like this one, too.
Yeah, this is great.
It's hilarious, man.
I left a lot.
(12:29):
I love the fucking rap that they do.
It's hilarious.
That song is like the perfect.
That's so.
As perfect.
Yeah, bad juggler rap.
Yeah, that's exactly what the fucking tweakers in the trailer park I was hanging out with
would walk around and do when everyone thought they were a rapper.
The fucking what you know about family.
(12:51):
Step dad.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Another line was I'll entertain his ass.
Yeah, that's good.
That's a bigger line.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Carni J.
Carni fucking J.
(13:12):
I'll entertain his ass.
He's hot.
Pack a lunch.
Pack a lunch.
Oh, man.
All right, Lisa, let me just start reading in your what the fuck moment.
Oh, shit.
Sissy's are fucking like new movies.
I guess we won't spoil the ending.
I figured you guys probably already knew that.
(13:33):
I figured like maybe like new movies, maybe only I don't know the cut off for new movies,
but if they're like super new, maybe we just won't spoil the ending.
If that's what you want, daddy.
Yeah, bitch.
Sissy's are some fucking new movies.
And, you know, I think you should fucking buy them.
We're not going to spoil the ending.
(13:54):
OK.
Even though we usually spoil everything.
Yeah.
Watch your what the fuck moment and your star rating.
All right.
God damn it.
What you know about family?
My star rating.
(14:16):
Um, my star rating is going to be three stars.
Hell, yeah.
Damn good score from Lisa.
Yeah, my what the fuck moment is going to be the.
Ending of the movie, I guess.
Yeah.
The penultimate climax.
(14:39):
Yeah.
Gets wild.
Chaos ensues.
Bo, what's your star rating in what the fuck moment?
I think I'll go like four stars.
And make sense.
Yeah, I love I love little things like this.
I wish more creators would, you know, get in and get out.
(15:02):
Yeah, we don't got to make feature.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And the cool thing about this, I don't know, maybe it's because it is so short.
I could watch this like any fucking time.
Well, and that's exactly it's got some replay value because it doesn't absorb
a fucking good chunk of your lifespan.
Yeah, I mean, it's shorter than even an episode of a TV show.
(15:24):
Right.
And I like that.
Also, the nostalgia factor.
We're all ICP fans here.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
So it's got more of a twisted fan.
Well, you know, just so we're clear, I'm more of a twisted fan.
She wants to be bathed in their sweat.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
(15:46):
Baptized, if you will.
I I am like completely obsessed with monoxide now, like justifiable.
I am just fucking obsessed with him.
Yeah.
And I felt like he just kept looking right at us the whole time.
And it was the most amazing thing ever.
I could go for a monoxide.
I get it.
(16:09):
It looks right at me.
Oh, my God.
No, he didn't just look at us.
I felt like he was just like staring at us.
It wasn't just a look.
Yes.
Yeah.
He knew we were real fans.
Yeah.
He said, I bet they could do with a third.
Fuck yeah, we could.
Monoxidase.
Go look.
(16:32):
I'll entertain you.
Yeah.
My what the fuck moment's going to be.
Yeah.
The ad libs, but out of appreciation.
Yeah.
Special shout out to what did he say?
(16:55):
His stream goes too late or sideways.
Oh, my gosh.
When I piss goes too.
Yeah, it goes two ways.
Yeah.
And that really resonated with me.
I took that seriously too hard.
It's sticky.
I like that.
(17:15):
And I think differently abled people should rap more often.
Yeah.
What about you, Chris?
What's your star rating and what the fuck moment?
I just don't know what to take away from it.
Like I do kind of want to give a five.
I think if the quality of the ending,
(17:40):
I think that's why it didn't get a five for me.
Yeah, I'm going to give it four.
Four feels good.
Yeah, it's tied with Daddy, Cannibal Holocaust, and Song of Solomon.
All bangers.
Oh, my what the fuck moment is.
That's a fucking tough one.
I guess I'll go with the rap battle that they have with the white trash.
(18:06):
Carney Jay got fucking ate the fuck up in that little rap battle.
Yeah, not a battle rapper.
Not at all.
Bless him for trying.
He kept the energy up.
He might have rhymed once.
(18:26):
Yeah, he drew out some syllables very long.
Yeah.
But hey, you know, what are you going to do?
He was against the trailer trash Kendrick.
You can't compete with that.
Yeah.
You got to you got to take those L's.
Nisa, how spicy is this movie?
(18:48):
Oh, fuck.
All right. This movie is a really warm, like sat in the sun all day bottle of root beer
flavored Fago.
Gross.
Okay.
And it also has like some Tabasco sauce added to it.
(19:08):
So you take that drink and you think it's just root beer and then it's a little spicy at the end.
Okay.
Just a few drops of Tabasco.
Just a few drops.
How spicy is this movie?
This was just this was just a num num num num like cotton candy, but you've got to eat it through
(19:34):
your face painted beard.
Oh, yeah.
It's kind of rough.
Yeah.
Not spicy.
This is a little bit spicy.
Not spicy. This was not a spicy.
Cotton candy Fago.
Yeah. Cotton candy Fago.
There you go.
On brand.
Well, I was going to use Fago, but yeah.
We all have to use Fago.
Yeah.
(19:54):
Fucking 50 flavors of Fago.
That's why I chose a specific flavor of Fago and added my own twist to it.
Yeah. This is this is cotton candy flavored like orange Fago.
Yeah, but you got to eat it through your face painted beard.
Hell yeah.
I don't know if you've ever had face paint in your beard.
(20:14):
No, I don't think you've had face paint in your beard.
What about you, Chris?
How spicy was this film?
Okay.
This film right here is a flat two liter of moon mist mixed with the bottomist of shelves.
(20:36):
Kentucky deluxe.
Yeah. Tequila mixed way too strong.
It feels like an attack.
That is a good one. I wish I would have thought of that.
I thought mixed drink at first, but this wasn't spicy to me.
So it was just fun.
This was fun.
Yeah, I know. But you know, we're kind of fucked up.
(21:00):
So the ending might be a little bit spicy for some people.
That's why I added my.
Yeah, it was fun.
Two liter of moon mist and tequila fun.
Yeah, it was fun. I don't know if it's still fun.
Yeah, it's probably not still fun.
It might be.
When I was a teenager, it sure as fuck was.
Passing out in the back of a fucking truck bed or some shit.
(21:21):
All right, Lisa, I need you to slot this in on your leaderboard.
Oh yeah. Okay.
What's a leaderboard, daddy?
I'll tell you.
Before you put on a blindfold and we play a little game called blind man.
Oh, you're going to put your hand up, me knickers.
(21:45):
Put the blindfold on first.
OK.
And then I'll tell you the rest of the rules.
Oh, my God.
The leaderboard is where we slot our personal favorite movies
that we've covered on the podcast.
So Lisa, where does fam, Billy fall on your leaderboard?
(22:06):
I think it's going to be.
Oh, my God.
I think it's going to go.
My new number six spot.
Damn.
Almost cracked it.
Beat out Lucky Sky Diamond.
That's a big play.
It's between Song of Solomon and Lucky Sky Diamond.
(22:31):
I can't believe it.
Mine's pretty close to that.
I think mine's going to go.
I think mine's going to be the number 10.
It's going to go right underneath August underground and above Song of Solomon.
It's hard.
I want to put it higher than that.
But these other ones were like.
My top 10 is like good films, so it's hard.
It was really hard for me, too, because I was like, I usually do it by what I would rewatch.
(22:58):
Well, that's what I was just thinking, too.
Yeah.
Like, if I'm being honest, I would rewatch this before any of these movies because it's only 18
minutes long.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
It's got economy on its side.
Yeah.
I think everyone should take a note from this.
Yeah.
I'd start doing short films.
Girl.
(23:19):
And they're badass.
Yeah.
Where's it going on your leaderboard, Daddy?
Well, I'm going to make it my new number nine, dropping down Song of Solomon.
And it's going to be right below Cannibal Holocaust.
Chris is in a better mood today.
You can tell.
I am.
(23:41):
Well, that's Family.
Damn good movie.
It's in all of our top 10s.
Crack the top 10 list on the leaderboard.
Hell yeah.
See if his feature link pairs the same.
Yeah.
If you have any interest in, you know, juggalo shit or anything like that, I think you have
(24:08):
got to watch this movie.
I would kind of like to maybe play it for somebody that has no idea what the fuck that even is
and maybe see how they feel about it.
Yeah.
But I still think it would be hilarious because it's just funny.
It's a funny fucking movie.
Not, you know, extreme like we usually cover, but shit gets pretty dark, I think.
(24:29):
So I don't know anyone who, even if you've not, even if you're not familiar with ICP,
we all knew someone who, when hanging out, decided to start freestyle rapping and it
was terrible every time.
That's like the staple of every group, I think.
Yeah, everybody knows a wannabe rapper.
Yeah.
And if you don't, it was probably you, you know.
(24:53):
So, you know, that's, I think this is relatable.
You won't get that.
You won't get the Faygo shit or the, the makeup maybe, but.
Right.
Yeah.
Wasn't a whole lot of, you know, like ICP references and shit like that.
Yeah.
I don't think there was really any.
Not directly.
I don't think.
But yeah, man.
(25:14):
Highly recommended.
Now I bought, I bought mine directly from David Dawson.
You can get in touch with him on Instagram at BroboCop77.
There'll be a link in the show notes.
Damn good movie.
Will Flesh Games fare the same?
Stick around to find out.
(25:34):
Does Kearney J have an OnlyFans?
Dude, you gotta see him in fucking leech, man.
Yeah.
I'm waiting.
He told me leech was going to be playing somewhere in Oklahoma at like a festival.
He just wasn't sure where and I was like, if you find out, fucking tell me.
I guess it's still just making the fucking festival runs, trying to get somebody to pick it up.
(25:56):
All right.
On to movie number two.
Yeah.
Of the David Dawson double down.
This one's called Flesh Games.
It follows a group of stuntmen.
It follows a group of stuntmen and comedians who achieved little to no success.
Oh, I'm going to love this one, too.
(26:18):
Written and directed by David M. Dawson, starring Jordan Acosta and Mike Miller.
Forgot to do that on family, but it's the same fucking thing.
Same two guys.
You better show the dick.
Show your fucking dick.
You bitch.
You don't have to show your dick.
You've got to show.
Are you still on my screen?
Yeah.
(26:39):
Here's that dude.
Fucking clean cut.
He's hot.
Yeah, look at him.
I already know.
Fuck yeah, he is.
Yeah.
I already know.
Holy shit.
This is Jordan Acosta.
Yeah.
Bench press me.
Break me in half.
Piss in my mouth.
(26:59):
Call my dad a racist.
You know.
Eat you for lunch, ninja.
I'll pack a lunch.
It's your car.
Your car is my lunch.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
Let's crack this motherfucker open.
Oh, yeah.
(27:19):
Now you can buy this one directly from David Dawson on Instagram
or you can go to srscinema.com and get it.
It's a Blu-ray.
Yeah.
Flesh Games was a group of virtually unknown stuntmen and comedians.
Hailing from the mighty cornfields of northern Illinois.
(27:41):
My years of it.
Those cornfields are I didn't know Illinois is known for its cornfields.
Oh, a section of it is.
Uh huh.
I guess the northern side.
After years of inactivity, they've decided to mount their comeback.
To some, it's just a game.
(28:01):
To others, it's much more.
This is their final tape.
Yeah, get it.
Was that an was that an ASMR endeavor or like cerebral palsy?
Both.
There's an overlap.
Well, I don't think any of the well, maybe it doesn't.
(28:26):
It's like it filtered out any of the noises that DVD thing.
Oh, sure.
Yeah, probably.
There's a lot of fucking bullshit going on in this quarter.
It's helpful.
It didn't really make a sound when it popped out.
OK, good, good packaging.
That's not good.
Yeah, it's not good to throw your DVD player.
(28:51):
Oh, who's that?
The devil.
I was like, hopefully it's just the movie playing already.
Yeah, it is.
How does that?
Well, I didn't know you had already put it in.
I said, yeah.
How many times have you heard that?
Do that, but just launched off my fucking computer.
And I don't know how.
(29:11):
OK, I was like, I thought the devil's the devil's with us.
Yeah, the fucking cord on this Blu Ray player is like three inches.
Yeah, it's ridiculous.
I saw it direction.
You were angling yourself just inserted.
I said, oh, yeah, I got it.
Motherfucker flush games.
(29:32):
Here we go.
OK.
Some jackass shit.
Has one of those warnings ever actually had an impact on a person?
Probably not.
Can do a little antiquing.
And they're going to do a little fucking with their friend.
(29:53):
What's the bag of flour got to do with empty?
In Jackass, they fucking cover their hand in flour and slept.
Oh, sleeping person in the face.
Oh, the antiquing.
I don't.
Oh, I had no idea.
I've never I've never actually seen the film.
Well, I know that they do that.
I just had no idea.
That's what it was called.
(30:15):
They just dumped the whole motherfucking bag on.
See, I was expecting something like he was going to, you know, throw flour in the face.
Throw flour in his face or something.
Is this an amazing thing?
No, it's not.
I think I would respond with violence.
(30:40):
I would, too, because inhaling all that.
Oh, my God.
Well, I'm in my bed.
Flour in my.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's just called the fucking powder.
Looks real nice here.
(31:12):
Nice nipple.
Do a plant thing, very small and I'm trying to get my body back in shape.
Ready for this.
I just do a small scar tour for you to start out.
My bicep here got triply dislocated.
Tripoli.
(31:35):
How does that even happen?
Oh, my God.
I wear in a come and go shirt.
Oh, yeah.
Breaking TV's.
Fuck it.
Why?
Why are they holding one TV on top of the other one while they break the bottom?
(32:01):
Not as cool when it's not like an old school like CRT TV.
Yeah, those things were impossible to fucking break.
All three of them.
(32:26):
Is that the gay beard or is it bush?
What is it?
Bud.
Oh, Bud Light.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's OK.
Kid Rock likes Bud Light again, so everybody else does too.
(32:49):
That's the same thing.
He was like shooting or something.
Yeah.
But then after that, he was like, oh, they send me things and we're cool.
Fuck you, Kid Rock.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
I'm the guy.
(33:11):
Oh, shit.
Where are you putting that?
Not at.
That doesn't seem like a very good.
Not.
But the not wrong.
I could be wrong, but are you the not guys?
Oh, no, but.
Yeah, see why these are failed.
(33:36):
I would have hung up on this guy a long fucking time ago.
Can you also see why they're called comedians?
Yes.
Yeah, I'm loving this, though.
(33:57):
Yeah, they literally just saw Jackass and said, oh, we can do that.
But they can't.
Yeah.
Well, and it's also one that we probably know people like this.
Oh, yeah, dude.
Yeah, dude, after Jack, as we were all jumping off roofs and shit.
I know your group of friends definitely was.
(34:22):
All right.
I'm Corey Nelson.
This is Hillbilly landscape.
And let's do it.
You didn't do anything.
Does he know what any words mean?
Yeah, you didn't even try to take any of those branches down with you.
I gave him a second round two.
Yeah, you did a good job.
(34:42):
I love a supportive Twister with broken glass.
Here we go.
Oh, OK.
We're upping the ante a little bit here.
See, look, that looks like real life go go dancers at Fire Island.
Was I mistaken in thinking that Twister was just for play for teenagers?
(35:03):
I have never played it.
It's got to be, right?
This right hand blue.
You mean you're not going to play with your family, right?
That'd be weird.
I mean, if you're one of those people do.
I told you I've been practicing.
I'm getting my body back in shape.
Yeah, look at him.
(35:25):
Oh, yeah.
Listen, I think his body's perfect shape.
He's had his shit.
I think his body's perfect shape. He's had his shit.
I don't think he's fat, but he's definitely fat.
(35:48):
I would prefer him to lose a little weight.
He's not fat.
I don't know.
He's not as fat as that guy.
OK, he is.
And like, it's not all flabby.
Flabby. He looks like he was bursting at the seams.
I think I shaped insane.
(36:08):
Mike's got a wild shape going on.
Like, I think I can almost see that in my future.
My gut is.
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah.
Yeah, and I also have to be careful how I talk about fat guys, too, because my husband's headed there.
So he's already got a complex.
Yeah.
I love fat bald guys.
(36:29):
They're my favorite.
Oh, man.
I'm sorry.
Did you hear her pussy drying up while she said it?
What about ones with gout?
I see that you have gout.
Now I know the coffee is like an NU-EN, not a dirty thing.
It's a horror.
You can leave.
All right, then.
(36:49):
That's just the menopause.
Oh, OK, good.
We got tellies for that.
This is so weird.
So it's not weird.
It's weird that there's going to be an hour of this.
Yeah, I know, man.
So far, I'm not really feeling this one.
(37:11):
Once we hit terrible twister, I was like, oh, shit.
Yes.
But at the same time, like, this is what you do.
You get one of those electric tennis rackets, you feel like you're going to be in a ball.
At the same time, like, this is what you do, you get one of those electric tennis rackets,
you fuck with it.
So I mean, there is a certain level of relatability, I guess you would call it.
(37:36):
Uh-huh.
That kind of makes it feel real.
No, it feels real.
And a lot of real life is not interesting.
Yeah, this one's maybe going to be too long.
Oh, my God.
OK, now, listen, my cousins and I used to actively chase each other around with tasers.
(38:01):
And when I tell you we would take turns teasing each other in the testicles,
that is not a joke.
I don't even know if I could have kids.
I was just surprised that we...
I was just surprised that we kind of saw a dick.
That was a snappy one.
Did it hurt more?
Yeah.
I'm blaring big time.
(38:23):
Fuck yeah, dude.
Yeah, dude, at a certain age, you just saw everything.
It's like, put your balls on it.
Yeah, it was that.
It was around whatever age that was, like, I don't know, 10 to 30.
But you won't put your balls on it.
Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm actually gay because balls are really terrible to behold.
(38:51):
Yeah, balls are rough, man.
I don't know what's going on there.
A dick without balls would look even stranger, but.
Yeah, it would.
It'd look real weird.
Maybe.
It would.
Hey, yeah.
It would, yeah.
I don't know, man.
(39:11):
Okay, I've seen some neutered dogs.
That's what I mean.
It's wild.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Maybe.
Can we just show a video of this every time someone's being gay as a choice?
Lighting fucking asses on fire.
(39:36):
What are they even trying to do?
Unclear.
I think we're lighting the ass on fire.
Okay.
We're burning the ass.
He's trying to like he's trying to like blow fire into his ass onto the ass.
And I'm unsure if the other guy's trying to.
Usually it's like, you know, they try to fart.
That's what I thought we were doing, but now we're.
(40:01):
Yeah, you are.
They say we know all the lines to men in black.
That's what I was about to ask.
Hey, man, that makes you pretty cool in my book.
You know what the difference between you and me is?
I make this look good.
(40:24):
I probably know a lot of lines to the men in black movie.
I'll get first dibs and then you get run off pussy.
You get run off pussy.
They're going to use mom's credit card to get pussy.
Oh, yeah.
Get a little run off pussy.
Hell yeah.
That's a lot.
Yeah, that's a lot.
(40:49):
That's a lot of movie that someone's going to quote.
Maybe it's just so smoky.
Yeah, smoking is cool.
I think so.
I hate it.
I also hate it.
I think I'm going to.
Yeah, dude, you fucking taste the cigarette and you're like, fuck this.
Well, it's mostly the smell of them, right?
(41:09):
Because I'm like, not appealing.
Who's that?
Now, that's David.
That's the director of the movie.
You think anyone's going to watch this and be like, wow, the camera angles were great.
Go start saying that more often.
Wow, the camera angles were great.
Yeah.
(41:29):
I'm pretty sure that's legitimately how I tried to sell Saladin.
When he's sober, he doesn't want to actually do anything.
He wants to talk about it, but he won't actually do it.
Then you get him liquored up a little bit and he's ready to go and he's super awesome.
(41:50):
But then he keeps going and then it's like, I'm done for the night.
I don't want to do anything.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
I can relate.
I don't know.
OK, straight to jail.
Yeah, I was like, as soon as I saw the thing, I was like, they're going to do something.
(42:11):
I almost gag a little bit.
Yeah, that was gross.
Slurping fucking cigarette butts.
Straight to jail.
Hell yeah.
We're peeing on everybody.
Oh, no.
(42:31):
He's got poop on that pain.
Yeah, he has.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
That's so fucking gross.
Oh, he wiggled it.
He wiggled his butt.
Oh, my God.
(42:55):
And we have a happy man today.
Watch him pull up his pants and not white.
Uh huh.
That's exactly what he's going to do.
Oh, you can't paint him.
Oh, yeah.
You got some color paint for me?
(43:17):
Oh, God.
Oh, my God.
It's almost worse when you go, do you got the toilet paper for me?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's bad, dude.
That is bad, dude.
I messed up.
The beast.
(43:44):
No, no, no.
No.
If you tongue punch my fucking exposed bone, I'm going to stab you to death with it.
Do you understand me?
Yeah, like what the fuck, man?
You're not even recording this.
This is great.
And I'm trying to go with like a like a sailor like gay.
(44:08):
Yeah, you nailed it.
But go.
You've been gay for some time throwing darts.
That is good.
Hell, yeah.
Human dart board.
Yeah.
Oh, OK.
We're about to do some pain.
And women.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(44:37):
Yeah, dude.
Don't fuck up my cutting board, dude.
It's for serving my cheese when I have friends over.
That'll make it funny then because you'll fuck up and you'll be right.
Yeah, it looks fucking great.
It looks fucking great.
It's a fucking video.
This is what it's a fucking video.
I understand.
I understand.
But, dude, you're taking this way too fucking far.
(44:57):
No, it's a fucking video.
It's all like that's the fucking point of this, dude.
Cooking it on the pizzazz.
Uh huh.
This is great.
Hell, yeah.
I'm honestly surprised that a pizzazz could cook a pizza, to be honest.
I've never actually used one in my life.
I didn't know anyone actually owned one.
(45:19):
Yeah.
OK.
Me either.
There's no way it's better than an oven.
Well, or like even...
You're fucking sick, dude.
It can't be more convenient at all.
It seems like kind of a bitch to clean.
I don't know.
Yeah.
And then your pizza's just out in the open.
(45:40):
That's what I mean.
Just warm one around.
Yeah.
That's the way it's getting crispy.
Hell, yeah.
It was almost... This is the thing.
It was like almost good.
They went to cartoon when it was time for the like downward spiral into mayhem.
(46:03):
Right?
Yeah, it was like cartoonishly psycho, right?
Yeah, it was too goofy, too slick.
And also there was about 30 minutes too much of the dick and balls.
And just, yeah, it was definitely too long.
(46:23):
You're saying there's too much dick and balls.
Well, the behavior was dick and balls.
We only saw a couple of balls, but...
Oh, yeah, OK.
Balls?
Some we've been seeing lately.
Way more balls in this one.
Yeah.
I'd like more dick and less balls, maybe.
(46:45):
Balls don't really do much for me.
Yeah, yeah, it's all about the dick.
I like to know that they're there.
They can make an appearance.
Yeah.
They don't need to be the star of the show.
They're definitely not the star, but...
They're great supporting cast.
Yeah.
Don't neglect the balls.
Don't neglect the balls.
(47:07):
You've got to, you know, you've got to pop in, say hello to the balls.
Yeah.
Let them know they're appreciated.
They're doing great.
Give them some words of affirmation.
I've just been over here fighting the urge to say that I kind of like balls.
No, that's fine.
Everyone can like balls.
There's something wrong with you, but...
(47:27):
Hi, my name's Lisa.
I'm what some people call a sex addict.
Yeah.
I mean, just because I like to have sex with a lot of boys doesn't make me a freak, OK?
Yeah.
No, I like some people's balls.
I don't like on principle just a set of balls.
So yeah.
Yeah.
(47:48):
Yeah.
I mean, yeah, just looking at balls.
No, not great.
Absolutely not.
Yeah.
This movie didn't...
It's like, you know, the whole premise of it is a bad jackass and, you know, they nailed that.
They did.
It is a bad jackass, but it's a bad jackass.
(48:10):
Yeah, maybe I'm also not the target audience for this.
I didn't actually watch the real jackass.
That's not really my thing.
I've seen clips of jackass and I do find them amazing.
I don't want to sit and watch like an hour of it.
(48:31):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, and that's exactly what it is, you know, fucking stunts and punk music and skateboard
videos.
Yeah, but by the end of the jackass movies, weren't they doing like Mission Impossible
level stunts and shit?
Yeah, they were getting like shot out of rockets.
Yeah.
Gored by bulls and shit like that.
(48:52):
True.
The first, I don't know, maybe 30 minutes or so of it.
I mean, yeah, it was bad stunts, which is what the movie is supposed to be, but it wasn't
entertaining.
Yeah, it was.
There was too many of them.
Things picked up a little bit when it got to I think it was Terrible Twister with the
(49:17):
broken glass on the twister board.
Well, I thought things were going to pick up.
That kind of piqued my interest a little bit.
I was, you know, kind of focused on it more than I was.
And then, yeah, it's got its, you know, peaks and valleys.
But this is, you know, the 2023 movie, whereas Family is 2024.
(49:38):
So if anything, I think things are just getting better.
As I said, I mean, this one was almost good.
It's just like, it didn't need to be an hour and 10 minutes.
And if it was going to be an hour and 10 minutes, about 20 minutes more of that at the end
should have been like part of the decline into weirdness, I think.
(49:58):
I thought at Twister things were picking up, but then it was like, oh, yeah, it's
then we kind of went back to more bullshit for a while.
And then all of a sudden just went into, yeah, him going crazy.
I would like to say, wow, the camera angles were great.
(50:20):
I do think for this, like this, like home video style, it actually was
a well shot, like home video thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I mean, like, you know, the whole kind of feel and atmosphere is 100 percent there.
Yeah.
Just like in Family, it feels real.
(50:42):
It feels like shit like we would do.
It definitely felt authentic.
And it also I think he obviously pays attention to sound because
he was playing literal slapstick comedy, real music for a majority of their ill-contrived
stunts.
And then the sound design did angle dark when it was time for now we're descending into
(51:07):
madness.
So I mean, it was almost it was almost good for me.
It was mostly just kind of irritating and felt long, though.
For me.
I sort of liked it.
I would have liked, you know, from Twister on to just be gradually like him getting worse.
Yeah.
(51:27):
Like, you know, just ramping up the depravity instead of like the peaks and valleys.
I guess we do a little bit, but they spend an awful lot of time like zoomed in on Mike
like and him sort of like ego tripping in a weird way.
We did get to watch him poop on to a canvas, so that was nice.
(51:51):
Loved that for me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was cool.
Squirt, squirt, squirt.
Yeah, I'm sure his diet's not that great.
Squirt poop.
Yeah, that was fucking disgusting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I liked when Jordan just came out and was like, that's that's bad, man.
(52:15):
Whatever the fuck you said.
Yeah, he said something like that.
Like, that's bad.
I was I was happy and edified by him addressing the gay pirate or the gay, the gay sailor,
because that's exactly what that costume was for the whole film.
That's why I was like a go-go dancer at Fire Island.
That's like how most people would be.
(52:36):
That's why I was like a go-go dancer at Fire Island. That's like how most of them dress
because go-go dancers, you've got like the slim cut ones, but then you've got the ones
that are like they spend some time bulking and now they're just like doing G at the club.
And that's kind of what they look like because they take G, don't drink any water,
(52:58):
just fucking shotgun, Red Bulls and vodkas and.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, have a little ascot and a gay fucking sailor hat.
Permanent bulking cycle.
Man, I wish I could remember the line, but I love the line that was like,
(53:18):
I don't know, something about his dad's dick and he's like, that's not true.
Oh, you're just like your dad.
That's not true.
My dick's way smaller.
Lisa, you star rating in your what the fuck moment.
I think I'm going to go two stars.
Oh, no.
Not bad from Lisa.
That's what I was thinking.
I must have to go lower than.
(53:41):
No, I I did kind of like this one.
I it is my least favorite David Dawson movie I've watched, though, of the three.
Yeah, two stars.
My what the fuck moment.
Two stars. My what the fuck moment is definitely him pooping on that fucking canvas.
(54:03):
That was disgusting.
And there's no faking that, like that was really him.
Now, now you don't think so.
No, absolutely not.
You don't think he just put on that canvas.
No, he had a you think so.
He had a little frosting container.
I think he did a little squirty square, but not a poop.
Yeah.
(54:23):
Yeah.
Now, that was not absolutely.
OK, I'm going to choose to believe like the angle and like, oh, I think it was aided by the angle.
That was a good.
This is a good camera angle.
Yeah.
Camera angles are great.
And just it's so fucking disgusting.
(54:44):
Yeah, like, oh, he's just squirting a little bit of poop on a canvas and then
he signs his fucking signature with the brush.
Yeah.
Yeah, because I'm willing to bet his come out even wetter.
Probably permanent diarrhea.
And then and then him in the background going, you got the toilet paper.
(55:09):
But you are his his right.
I guess you you already stood up and you've been sort of ambling about with the poop.
With the poop, but you don't don't stand up and walk about.
No, no, no, no.
I don't know, man, if you're just going to shit in the fucking backyard.
(55:32):
Water hose.
There's water hose.
And yet you got to take care of yourself, man.
I think so.
And, you know, I mean, if you're going to go that far,
I mean, don't even bring up the wiping part.
Yeah, it's too late in the game.
Did you bring toilet paper for me?
Dry toilet paper.
It's worse.
It's worse.
(55:53):
You want dry toilet paper outdoors in the light of our Lord?
I don't know.
Yeah, I just I didn't like it.
I didn't like anything about that scene.
That was terrible.
Not even the camera angles.
You didn't like the great camera angles.
Yeah, sure.
(56:13):
OK, cool, cool.
All right, though, what's your star rating and what the fuck from it?
I didn't like it.
I do think it was almost good, though.
So I guess we'll hang out with Lisa.
I like two stars.
OK.
Because unironically, I did think it was shot well.
I liked the sound design.
(56:34):
Yeah.
I think just sort of the writing and direction was a bit suspicious.
Maybe for me, my what the fuck moments going to be him, Hottie number one, his name, I
can't recall already.
Gabe, gay sailor, Jordan bent over by the bonfire while friend number three goes
(56:58):
underneath his legs with the lighter.
And Mike spews lighter fluid into his agape asshole to virtually no effect.
But they do it several times just over and over.
Yeah.
So now your actual intestinal lining has lighter fluid in it.
(57:22):
And we didn't even get a fireball.
So I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I don't even what were they even trying to accomplish?
What were they even trying to accomplish?
I think they were trying to burn their ass hair at his ass.
Yeah.
Trying to send ass hairs, I guess.
OK.
Because before that, they had a little conversation, something like,
(57:44):
I'll just grab you and hug you if you're on fire still.
Yeah. I know they were trying to light him up.
I think he was just literally trying to blow fire at him.
And OK.
But into the exposed asshole.
It would have worked.
I would have thought so, too.
You would have squirted lighter fluid into a flame.
(58:05):
Yeah.
It's going to fucking go.
I think so as well.
So.
Shit.
I don't know.
All I can say is user error.
I'm not sure.
I think he was really just trying to get an eyeball up in that ass.
Yeah, dude.
Well, I think they probably just couldn't find a way to fake it.
So they had to make it up.
Yeah.
(58:25):
It's probably not something you should do.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's probably like an insurance nightmare.
I'd imagine.
Yeah.
But yeah, I'm saying it would work.
It would probably work better than you wanted it to.
I think.
Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.
I think more than your ass.
(58:45):
I think your ass is like the only thing getting singed.
Mm hmm.
But, you know.
What about you, Christopher?
What's your star rating and what the fuck moment?
I'm going to give this one of three reasons I've said.
(59:07):
It's a little slow, but it was exactly what I think it set out to be.
Yeah.
My what the fuck moment is going to be.
I'm going to piggyback on these slightly during the Jackson Poo Lock stunt.
(59:29):
He poops on the canvas and then grabs paintbrush and makes a happy little mountain,
which is obviously a Bob Ross technique.
It has nothing to do with Jackson Pollock.
(59:49):
I was going to call that out while we were watching.
Yeah, I did appreciate the like Jackson Poo Lick.
That's amazing.
Yeah.
Even then, I mean, that's when you want the wet fucking diarrhea shits, right?
So you can splatter it.
Yeah, you do get more of the canvas covered.
It's definitely a little bit more impressionist.
(01:00:13):
That's the Jackson Pollock style.
It is just splooge it all over that canvas.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right, there's some how spicy is this movie?
This movie is that fucking pizza that he made on that stupid little.
(01:00:36):
It's a pizzazz.
Pizzazz thing.
Wet soft dough.
Soggy pizza that's just been cooking on your countertop of your not so clean house.
With a thin villainous layer of cheese on top.
Yeah.
And then, you know, add some hot dogs on top.
(01:00:59):
What a great pizza.
Hot dog pizza is pretty dark side.
The sauerkraut on there.
Oh, you got you a meal.
You show up to my house with a fucking hot dog pizza.
I consider that an act of domestic terrorism.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's what this is.
This is a hot dog pizza cooked on your fucking countertop.
(01:01:21):
Pizzazz straight to jail.
I'm not going to knock the pizzazz.
Supposedly it works.
I'm calling bullshit on a pizzazz.
That is a bullshit.
Bullshit.
I don't know.
I don't know.
If you're like, if your toddler is the one cooking and you don't trust them with the
oven, maybe.
(01:01:42):
Maybe.
Yeah.
How does it?
Is there a heater on the bottom too?
It must be something going on.
Because I know that that one little piece is obviously heat source.
There's got to be a heater on the bottom or yes, it's just it's fucked.
It's not going to get crispy at all.
Like.
I don't want to buy one and try it because.
Absolutely not.
(01:02:03):
Where the fuck am I going to?
Where am I going to put up his ass?
And the counter space.
We have so many other things we can do with the counter space.
I got to cook three, four fucking pieces at a time, man.
Yeah.
I can't do one piece at a time.
That's the other thing.
One of those pizzas is a light work for myself personally, because that was a tiny ass little
(01:02:23):
pizza.
I fold that bitch over like a taco.
Om nom nom.
It's gone.
It's done for.
And not all frozen pizzas are the same fucking size.
What are you going to do?
Is it going to hang off the fucking edges?
Yeah.
What if it's a dijon now and it's actually got some crust going on?
You can't tell me that thing cooks crust.
(01:02:46):
That thing's good for a thin villainous Tony.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that's Tony.
Yeah.
You got to do a red Baron.
Which among the among the frozen pizzas of that caliber,
red Baron's got to be like us here.
I think.
Dude, let me tell you, man, I don't know if you've tried it, but Motor City Pizza.
(01:03:10):
I think I know what dish fucking pizzas.
Oh, God damn.
I have not tried them, but I think I know what to what you're referring.
Because I have seen them.
Fuck and get you one next time you want a frozen pizza.
Probably the best I've ever had.
I will.
And then ironically, I know this is stupid, but I sometimes I want frozen pizza.
(01:03:31):
I don't want like to order a pizza.
I like actually want a frozen pizza.
I prefer frozen pizza a lot of times over like real.
Like the other day we got it like eight of those like just, you know,
little ones because something about I don't know what they put in them bitches.
But yeah, this little party.
Oh, the party pizza.
Something about this specifically is just, um, num, num, num, num.
(01:03:54):
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
What is it about those things?
Crack some sort of some sort of crack.
It's a special pizza.
I don't know, but it's fucking delicious.
And it's, it's just not the same as like a good pizza is a pizza.
That's great.
But this is something else.
Yeah.
And it's weird because there's like maybe three fucking strands of cheese on that.
(01:04:20):
I know.
Fucker dude.
But I think honestly that's part of it for me because I don't hate cheese, but like,
I don't need, I can like feel it in my arteries if I have too much anything dairy related.
And not in a way that pleases me.
So maybe that's part of what enhances it for me.
But there's also something flavor wise going on.
(01:04:40):
That's not going on in a pizza.
There's some unnatural shit going on.
Listen, and it's probably terrible, but I'm going to keep.
Oh yeah.
I'm going to keep shoving it up my ass.
Right.
Yeah, dude.
Because I love it.
Something's wrong.
Yeah, it's so right.
Oh God.
It's so with the party pizza, dude.
(01:05:01):
Yeah.
Man, we can talk about pizza all night.
I really could.
Bo, how spicy is this movie?
This one's like.
Like you ever you ever give a blow job with a condom on?
(01:05:22):
I haven't.
No.
Flavored.
Yeah.
Like the Jolly Ranchers.
Yeah, this is like, this is like sucking a dirty dick, but it's got a Jolly Rancher condom on.
OK, hell yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:05:43):
Shit.
All right.
What about you, Christopher?
How spicy is this film?
Oh my God.
I should have thought about this.
I had so much time.
No, that's what happened to me because I don't think these are spicy.
So I'm like, I can't really say any spicy foods, but it was unpleasant.
So.
Yeah, it's a it's pretty mild.
(01:06:08):
This is a.
Well, shout out to fucking Taco Bell Taco Bell fucking mild sauce.
Looking at you, Illinois.
Yeah.
Not a Mexican pizza.
Special thanks.
Taco Bell.
Not a sponsor, just free advertisement tubes.
Girl, you just said it's like a Taco Bell.
(01:06:29):
You didn't even fucking pick anything off the menu.
I said a mild sauce.
I want mild sauce.
Did you?
I want to I wanted to say mild sauce.
Yeah, you did.
Did Taco Bell mild sauce.
Oh, OK.
It's a Taco Bell.
I swear I didn't pick up the mild sauce thing at all.
I was like, what?
I don't know.
(01:06:50):
This went harder than family, though, right?
Yeah.
It's not going higher for me.
I think I meant like I meant like spicy wise.
Like gore.
Oh, yeah, definitely that.
Yeah, but OK, it's a Taco Bell medium.
Medium, not a mild.
Yeah.
(01:07:10):
All right.
Now, where's it going to go on my leaderboard?
Yeah.
It's going to go on my new number 16 spot.
It's going to go right above worms.
Right below a Serbian film.
Oh, yeah.
No. 16 for Lisa.
Yeah.
But where is it going to go on your leaderboard?
(01:07:32):
I think it'll be my new number 23.
No, it'll be my new number 24.
Right below August underground and above tumbling dollar flesh.
All right.
What about you, Christopher?
I think I'm going to make it my new.
(01:07:55):
Yeah, it's kind of like playing darts there in the middle.
I couldn't really decide, so I just fucking picked one.
Yeah, that's kind of where I'm at.
And like, I think I'm you know, it's been so long since we've seen some of these.
I'm like, they're pretty fucking good.
Yeah, but I know for a fact, that's a lie.
Yeah, I think I'm just going to have to land at number 26 below devil's experiment above worms.
(01:08:21):
Don't feel 100 percent about it, but that's where it's going.
I think I might have to put tumbling doll three.
I don't feel good about the two on tumbling doll, man.
I don't know.
Well, you can't change it now.
So wasn't that most it?
(01:08:43):
It was.
You did not appreciate most of that film.
According to your own feedback.
Yeah.
That's not true.
That's not true.
Two seems like it's such a fucking low score to give some, I agree.
That's that's that's why we even when.
I agree.
(01:09:03):
I got to revamp my entire fucking rating system.
I'm kind of figuring it out on the fly.
As of right now, I feel like almost everything probably needs to go up a star.
Sometimes I feel the exact opposite.
Anyway, that was the David Dawson double down.
(01:09:25):
If you like found footage, horror, juggalo shit.
If you like jackass shit, check these out, man.
Yeah.
Next week, we will be doing another listener request.
Okay.
This one is coming from iPod Todd.
(01:09:49):
Nice.
We will be reviewing the 1970 I drink your blood.
Okay.
It's a hippie exploitation horror film.
Nice.
Decided to check it out.
Join us next week when we cover.
(01:10:11):
I drink your blood.
Yeah.
That's it for this episode of what the fuck are you watching?
Say bye bitch.
Bye bitch.
That's damn good.
Did you think this podcast was as good as instant noodles?
Or is it more like a cobalt blue tarantula?
(01:10:32):
Leave us a rating and review wherever you listen to this podcast at.
Get in touch with us at wtfruwatchingpod at gmail.com where you can leave reviews for
the movies we've been watching, recommend other movies for us to watch, or leave any
questions or comments for us to answer.
Either way, thanks for listening.
You will be given a test to determine your ability to withstand shock.
(00:05):
Well, look who's here.
This is the night when fear and horror walk hand in hand.
Do you feel up to it?
The most terrifying form of evil is that which lurks within the human mind.
(00:25):
Rated X.
Welcome to What the fuck are you watching? We're the gayest podcast on the internet.
I'm Chris and this is.
Hi, my name's Lisa. I'm what some people call a sex addict.
I mean, just because I like to have sex with a lot of boys doesn't make me a freak.
(00:46):
Okay.
Oh, yeah, that's me. I love it. I was hoping for that one.
We need to. I don't know, man. It's so good, but we have to cut some of it out.
I know it's a little long.
Yeah, it's Lisa.
It is me with a brand new introduction.
(01:06):
New year, new Lisa.
And we're also joined by.
Bo. Oh, my God.
It's Bo.
Oh, my God.
Shout out to Portland.
Portsmouth.
Portsmouth.
Gateshead.
Quilmese Quilms.
It's in Argentina.
(01:27):
Let's see, are these fucking territories of Narnia?
What's going on?
Baloney.
Oh, my God.
Bologna.
But you I don't know how you don't sound Italian when you say Italian words.
(01:48):
He has a disability.
Yeah, he does.
Yeah, he does.
Bologna.
Yeah, OK.
And besides, it's baloney.
Herkimer.
I see. I often see a word with a G and I'm like, no, that's baloney.
(02:10):
Herkimer.
Herkimer.
Carlsbad.
Love the caverns.
Vallejo.
Love the paint.
And a special shout out to Newmarket Enduroberplops.
Is this?
It was German.
OK.
I don't know what the fuck it really was.
I kind of thought so.
(02:32):
And I was like, surely.
The way the way syllables are formed in your mouth, though, when they're presented for me.
Sometimes it is hard to.
That's why that's why he looks like a little boy.
Learned to announce his colons.
(02:52):
Yeah, yeah.
For clarity, really.
Whoa, Lisa, what the fuck are you watching?
I'm watching two of David Dawson's movies.
Blush Games from twenty twenty three and Family from twenty twenty four.
Oh, yeah.
It's the motherfucking David Dawson double down.
(03:15):
It sure is.
It's our first ever double bill.
It could be a huge disaster.
We're going to see what happens.
I don't have much of a director spotlight for Mr. David Dawson, but I can share with
you a little bit of what I've gathered.
He's a fan of the King Cobra.
That's what's up, tubes.
He likes ICP.
(03:37):
Oh, awesome.
Likes Tegan and Sarah.
So he's got to be cool.
What a spectrum.
I know.
And a big fan of fucking beans.
OK, like the canned variety.
I think just all kinds of beans.
I just love beans.
Does he like sharing them over a campfire in the woods with a male partner?
(04:01):
A friend or out of a glass boot like that guy on YouTube?
No, I mean, I think it was just like his stove top.
I also like sharing a can of beans with a homie over a campfire in the subdued wilderness.
Petui.
Petui.
(04:25):
Now, in pretty much every episode and in the show notes of every episode, I post links to
where you can buy the movies at, and I'll be doing that for these.
There's a few different places you can get these.
You can get them direct from the source like I did through Instagram.
David Dawson's Instagram, ProboCop77.
(04:48):
You can also go to srscinema.com to grab a Blu-ray of Flesh Games.
It's also got some tapes at GoshDarnVideo.
OK.
Yeah.
So first up, we're going to be watching Family.
Fam-Illy.
(05:09):
This movie.
It's a short film.
A little short, boy.
Two struggling Juggalo rappers put blood, sweat, and tears into their newest music video.
Well, not if it only took them 19 minutes.
Yeah, I'm sure things do not end well.
We first discovered David Dawson during the unnamed footage festival live stream
(05:33):
where we watched The Leech.
Loved it.
Yeah, we did.
Can't wait for it to get a release if it does, because we'll fucking be covering it on the podcast.
We half-assed covered it on our coverage of the film festival.
It was like some world premiere shit and I was afraid to spoil things.
So I don't even think we really talked about it that much.
(05:55):
No.
But so, yeah, these are both found footage POV style movies.
So shout out to the found footage bros.
Starting with fucking Family.
Let's see how it goes.
This is also our first ever fucking physical release since I got a Blu-ray player for the
computer now.
(06:15):
So I'm going to do a little foley work here.
Smell it.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
It smells like the Midwest.
Is that Ranch?
Cheese curds.
Cheese curds.
Yeah, that makes sense.
(06:35):
Cheese curds dipped in ranch.
It's just lots of dairy.
Heavy dairy.
All right, motherfucking Family.
2024.
Let's do it.
Hey.
Oh, it's that guy.
(06:56):
Hell yeah.
We got ourselves a rap battle right now.
Hell yeah.
You dogs ready for this in this corner?
Rap battle in the street.
And on this side, Carni J.
(07:19):
Too bad you weren't feeling it back there in the street.
Yeah, you should never do that again.
Not in public.
Troy.
Yeah.
I love his hairstyle.
(07:39):
I would fuck the shit out of him.
If I'm being completely honest with you.
The raps did it for you.
Oh, listen, I need him to not talk at all, though.
No, I was just thinking like looking at him from this way.
(08:01):
He actually doesn't look bad.
No, he's really hot.
We gotta not speak.
They gotta go meet Terry.
What's popping off in here that they worked with at the haunted house 20 years ago?
Hell yeah.
Oh, the fucking green album.
(08:24):
Green book on vinyl.
The green book, sorry.
It's like my favorite twist.
It's the one we went and saw.
Yeah.
I love him.
(08:46):
What do you think, man?
What do you think?
I mean.
I mean, because when I piss, it goes two ways.
(09:07):
This is the music video.
I hope so.
Oh, Carney with a K.
Oh, yeah.
(09:31):
These athletes are wild.
God damn it, man.
This is amazing, dude, the beard.
Oh, what's a step?
(10:00):
Not that show, honey.
This makeup combined with the hair and the beard killing me.
That's my childhood.
That's a juggler rapper right there.
Yeah, my God.
Look at his fucking shirt, man.
Yeah, just all over.
(10:21):
Pack a lunch.
Step dead.
Where we go?
He wants to be entertained.
I'll entertain his fucking ass.
What are you doing?
I'll entertain his ass.
Yeah, take a pencil.
Big time.
You play a key fucking role on this.
You understand?
I need you more than ever hatchet.
(10:43):
Oh, yeah.
Oh, man.
Fuck.
Yeah.
Family.
Family.
Ah, yeah.
I didn't hate it.
No, I found it very amusing.
I did, too.
I liked it.
(11:04):
I didn't like love it.
It felt like.
Like.
But it is only 18 minutes long, so like, you know.
It was like a nostalgic fever fever dream that was like.
Yeah.
My whole family.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah, no, it's very nostalgic, man.
(11:24):
Like.
If when I was, you know, like 15, if we were fortunate enough to have a fucking camera,
yes, it probably fucking be us.
No, absolutely.
Maybe without the murder.
I don't know.
But yeah, dude, now this is fucking awesome.
I love this movie.
I mean, I think my only I just wish it was longer.
No, no, no, no.
(11:45):
That's what I was going to say.
I think this might be the only movie that I say I wish it was longer.
I won't I won't go that far.
I think this is like the perfect, you know, this said everything I needed to.
And then it got the fuck out of there.
Yeah, I guess.
Yeah, you're probably right.
Now, you're probably right.
Because, you know, you know, it was exhausting after about half an hour.
(12:08):
Juggalos.
Yeah.
Carni J.
Yeah, I've been to those concerts.
I've smelled these people, you know.
I like the movie.
I think that I like Leech better.
But I do like this one, too.
Yeah, this is great.
It's hilarious, man.
I left a lot.
(12:29):
I love the fucking rap that they do.
It's hilarious.
That song is like the perfect.
That's so.
As perfect.
Yeah, bad juggler rap.
Yeah, that's exactly what the fucking tweakers in the trailer park I was hanging out with
would walk around and do when everyone thought they were a rapper.
The fucking what you know about family.
(12:51):
Step dad.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Another line was I'll entertain his ass.
Yeah, that's good.
That's a bigger line.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Carni J.
Carni fucking J.
(13:12):
I'll entertain his ass.
He's hot.
Pack a lunch.
Pack a lunch.
Oh, man.
All right, Lisa, let me just start reading in your what the fuck moment.
Oh, shit.
Sissy's are fucking like new movies.
I guess we won't spoil the ending.
I figured you guys probably already knew that.
(13:33):
I figured like maybe like new movies, maybe only I don't know the cut off for new movies,
but if they're like super new, maybe we just won't spoil the ending.
If that's what you want, daddy.
Yeah, bitch.
Sissy's are some fucking new movies.
And, you know, I think you should fucking buy them.
We're not going to spoil the ending.
(13:54):
OK.
Even though we usually spoil everything.
Yeah.
Watch your what the fuck moment and your star rating.
All right.
God damn it.
What you know about family?
My star rating.
(14:16):
Um, my star rating is going to be three stars.
Hell, yeah.
Damn good score from Lisa.
Yeah, my what the fuck moment is going to be the.
Ending of the movie, I guess.
Yeah.
The penultimate climax.
(14:39):
Yeah.
Gets wild.
Chaos ensues.
Bo, what's your star rating in what the fuck moment?
I think I'll go like four stars.
And make sense.
Yeah, I love I love little things like this.
I wish more creators would, you know, get in and get out.
(15:02):
Yeah, we don't got to make feature.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And the cool thing about this, I don't know, maybe it's because it is so short.
I could watch this like any fucking time.
Well, and that's exactly it's got some replay value because it doesn't absorb
a fucking good chunk of your lifespan.
Yeah, I mean, it's shorter than even an episode of a TV show.
(15:24):
Right.
And I like that.
Also, the nostalgia factor.
We're all ICP fans here.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
So it's got more of a twisted fan.
Well, you know, just so we're clear, I'm more of a twisted fan.
She wants to be bathed in their sweat.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
(15:46):
Baptized, if you will.
I I am like completely obsessed with monoxide now, like justifiable.
I am just fucking obsessed with him.
Yeah.
And I felt like he just kept looking right at us the whole time.
And it was the most amazing thing ever.
I could go for a monoxide.
I get it.
(16:09):
It looks right at me.
Oh, my God.
No, he didn't just look at us.
I felt like he was just like staring at us.
It wasn't just a look.
Yes.
Yeah.
He knew we were real fans.
Yeah.
He said, I bet they could do with a third.
Fuck yeah, we could.
Monoxidase.
Go look.
(16:32):
I'll entertain you.
Yeah.
My what the fuck moment's going to be.
Yeah.
The ad libs, but out of appreciation.
Yeah.
Special shout out to what did he say?
(16:55):
His stream goes too late or sideways.
Oh, my gosh.
When I piss goes too.
Yeah, it goes two ways.
Yeah.
And that really resonated with me.
I took that seriously too hard.
It's sticky.
I like that.
(17:15):
And I think differently abled people should rap more often.
Yeah.
What about you, Chris?
What's your star rating and what the fuck moment?
I just don't know what to take away from it.
Like I do kind of want to give a five.
I think if the quality of the ending,
(17:40):
I think that's why it didn't get a five for me.
Yeah, I'm going to give it four.
Four feels good.
Yeah, it's tied with Daddy, Cannibal Holocaust, and Song of Solomon.
All bangers.
Oh, my what the fuck moment is.
That's a fucking tough one.
I guess I'll go with the rap battle that they have with the white trash.
(18:06):
Carney Jay got fucking ate the fuck up in that little rap battle.
Yeah, not a battle rapper.
Not at all.
Bless him for trying.
He kept the energy up.
He might have rhymed once.
(18:26):
Yeah, he drew out some syllables very long.
Yeah.
But hey, you know, what are you going to do?
He was against the trailer trash Kendrick.
You can't compete with that.
Yeah.
You got to you got to take those L's.
Nisa, how spicy is this movie?
(18:48):
Oh, fuck.
All right. This movie is a really warm, like sat in the sun all day bottle of root beer
flavored Fago.
Gross.
Okay.
And it also has like some Tabasco sauce added to it.
(19:08):
So you take that drink and you think it's just root beer and then it's a little spicy at the end.
Okay.
Just a few drops of Tabasco.
Just a few drops.
How spicy is this movie?
This was just this was just a num num num num like cotton candy, but you've got to eat it through
(19:34):
your face painted beard.
Oh, yeah.
It's kind of rough.
Yeah.
Not spicy.
This is a little bit spicy.
Not spicy. This was not a spicy.
Cotton candy Fago.
Yeah. Cotton candy Fago.
There you go.
On brand.
Well, I was going to use Fago, but yeah.
We all have to use Fago.
Yeah.
(19:54):
Fucking 50 flavors of Fago.
That's why I chose a specific flavor of Fago and added my own twist to it.
Yeah. This is this is cotton candy flavored like orange Fago.
Yeah, but you got to eat it through your face painted beard.
Hell yeah.
I don't know if you've ever had face paint in your beard.
(20:14):
No, I don't think you've had face paint in your beard.
What about you, Chris?
How spicy was this film?
Okay.
This film right here is a flat two liter of moon mist mixed with the bottomist of shelves.
(20:36):
Kentucky deluxe.
Yeah. Tequila mixed way too strong.
It feels like an attack.
That is a good one. I wish I would have thought of that.
I thought mixed drink at first, but this wasn't spicy to me.
So it was just fun.
This was fun.
Yeah, I know. But you know, we're kind of fucked up.
(21:00):
So the ending might be a little bit spicy for some people.
That's why I added my.
Yeah, it was fun.
Two liter of moon mist and tequila fun.
Yeah, it was fun. I don't know if it's still fun.
Yeah, it's probably not still fun.
It might be.
When I was a teenager, it sure as fuck was.
Passing out in the back of a fucking truck bed or some shit.
(21:21):
All right, Lisa, I need you to slot this in on your leaderboard.
Oh yeah. Okay.
What's a leaderboard, daddy?
I'll tell you.
Before you put on a blindfold and we play a little game called blind man.
Oh, you're going to put your hand up, me knickers.
(21:45):
Put the blindfold on first.
OK.
And then I'll tell you the rest of the rules.
Oh, my God.
The leaderboard is where we slot our personal favorite movies
that we've covered on the podcast.
So Lisa, where does fam, Billy fall on your leaderboard?
(22:06):
I think it's going to be.
Oh, my God.
I think it's going to go.
My new number six spot.
Damn.
Almost cracked it.
Beat out Lucky Sky Diamond.
That's a big play.
It's between Song of Solomon and Lucky Sky Diamond.
(22:31):
I can't believe it.
Mine's pretty close to that.
I think mine's going to go.
I think mine's going to be the number 10.
It's going to go right underneath August underground and above Song of Solomon.
It's hard.
I want to put it higher than that.
But these other ones were like.
My top 10 is like good films, so it's hard.
It was really hard for me, too, because I was like, I usually do it by what I would rewatch.
(22:58):
Well, that's what I was just thinking, too.
Yeah.
Like, if I'm being honest, I would rewatch this before any of these movies because it's only 18
minutes long.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
It's got economy on its side.
Yeah.
I think everyone should take a note from this.
Yeah.
I'd start doing short films.
Girl.
(23:19):
And they're badass.
Yeah.
Where's it going on your leaderboard, Daddy?
Well, I'm going to make it my new number nine, dropping down Song of Solomon.
And it's going to be right below Cannibal Holocaust.
Chris is in a better mood today.
You can tell.
I am.
(23:41):
Well, that's Family.
Damn good movie.
It's in all of our top 10s.
Crack the top 10 list on the leaderboard.
Hell yeah.
See if his feature link pairs the same.
Yeah.
If you have any interest in, you know, juggalo shit or anything like that, I think you have
(24:08):
got to watch this movie.
I would kind of like to maybe play it for somebody that has no idea what the fuck that even is
and maybe see how they feel about it.
Yeah.
But I still think it would be hilarious because it's just funny.
It's a funny fucking movie.
Not, you know, extreme like we usually cover, but shit gets pretty dark, I think.
(24:29):
So I don't know anyone who, even if you've not, even if you're not familiar with ICP,
we all knew someone who, when hanging out, decided to start freestyle rapping and it
was terrible every time.
That's like the staple of every group, I think.
Yeah, everybody knows a wannabe rapper.
Yeah.
And if you don't, it was probably you, you know.
(24:53):
So, you know, that's, I think this is relatable.
You won't get that.
You won't get the Faygo shit or the, the makeup maybe, but.
Right.
Yeah.
Wasn't a whole lot of, you know, like ICP references and shit like that.
Yeah.
I don't think there was really any.
Not directly.
I don't think.
But yeah, man.
(25:14):
Highly recommended.
Now I bought, I bought mine directly from David Dawson.
You can get in touch with him on Instagram at BroboCop77.
There'll be a link in the show notes.
Damn good movie.
Will Flesh Games fare the same?
Stick around to find out.
(25:34):
Does Kearney J have an OnlyFans?
Dude, you gotta see him in fucking leech, man.
Yeah.
I'm waiting.
He told me leech was going to be playing somewhere in Oklahoma at like a festival.
He just wasn't sure where and I was like, if you find out, fucking tell me.
I guess it's still just making the fucking festival runs, trying to get somebody to pick it up.
(25:56):
All right.
On to movie number two.
Yeah.
Of the David Dawson double down.
This one's called Flesh Games.
It follows a group of stuntmen.
It follows a group of stuntmen and comedians who achieved little to no success.
Oh, I'm going to love this one, too.
(26:18):
Written and directed by David M. Dawson, starring Jordan Acosta and Mike Miller.
Forgot to do that on family, but it's the same fucking thing.
Same two guys.
You better show the dick.
Show your fucking dick.
You bitch.
You don't have to show your dick.
You've got to show.
Are you still on my screen?
Yeah.
(26:39):
Here's that dude.
Fucking clean cut.
He's hot.
Yeah, look at him.
I already know.
Fuck yeah, he is.
Yeah.
I already know.
Holy shit.
This is Jordan Acosta.
Yeah.
Bench press me.
Break me in half.
Piss in my mouth.
(26:59):
Call my dad a racist.
You know.
Eat you for lunch, ninja.
I'll pack a lunch.
It's your car.
Your car is my lunch.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
Let's crack this motherfucker open.
Oh, yeah.
(27:19):
Now you can buy this one directly from David Dawson on Instagram
or you can go to srscinema.com and get it.
It's a Blu-ray.
Yeah.
Flesh Games was a group of virtually unknown stuntmen and comedians.
Hailing from the mighty cornfields of northern Illinois.
(27:41):
My years of it.
Those cornfields are I didn't know Illinois is known for its cornfields.
Oh, a section of it is.
Uh huh.
I guess the northern side.
After years of inactivity, they've decided to mount their comeback.
To some, it's just a game.
(28:01):
To others, it's much more.
This is their final tape.
Yeah, get it.
Was that an was that an ASMR endeavor or like cerebral palsy?
Both.
There's an overlap.
Well, I don't think any of the well, maybe it doesn't.
(28:26):
It's like it filtered out any of the noises that DVD thing.
Oh, sure.
Yeah, probably.
There's a lot of fucking bullshit going on in this quarter.
It's helpful.
It didn't really make a sound when it popped out.
OK, good, good packaging.
That's not good.
Yeah, it's not good to throw your DVD player.
(28:51):
Oh, who's that?
The devil.
I was like, hopefully it's just the movie playing already.
Yeah, it is.
How does that?
Well, I didn't know you had already put it in.
I said, yeah.
How many times have you heard that?
Do that, but just launched off my fucking computer.
And I don't know how.
(29:11):
OK, I was like, I thought the devil's the devil's with us.
Yeah, the fucking cord on this Blu Ray player is like three inches.
Yeah, it's ridiculous.
I saw it direction.
You were angling yourself just inserted.
I said, oh, yeah, I got it.
Motherfucker flush games.
(29:32):
Here we go.
OK.
Some jackass shit.
Has one of those warnings ever actually had an impact on a person?
Probably not.
Can do a little antiquing.
And they're going to do a little fucking with their friend.
(29:53):
What's the bag of flour got to do with empty?
In Jackass, they fucking cover their hand in flour and slept.
Oh, sleeping person in the face.
Oh, the antiquing.
I don't.
Oh, I had no idea.
I've never I've never actually seen the film.
Well, I know that they do that.
I just had no idea.
That's what it was called.
(30:15):
They just dumped the whole motherfucking bag on.
See, I was expecting something like he was going to, you know, throw flour in the face.
Throw flour in his face or something.
Is this an amazing thing?
No, it's not.
I think I would respond with violence.
(30:40):
I would, too, because inhaling all that.
Oh, my God.
Well, I'm in my bed.
Flour in my.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's just called the fucking powder.
Looks real nice here.
(31:12):
Nice nipple.
Do a plant thing, very small and I'm trying to get my body back in shape.
Ready for this.
I just do a small scar tour for you to start out.
My bicep here got triply dislocated.
Tripoli.
(31:35):
How does that even happen?
Oh, my God.
I wear in a come and go shirt.
Oh, yeah.
Breaking TV's.
Fuck it.
Why?
Why are they holding one TV on top of the other one while they break the bottom?
(32:01):
Not as cool when it's not like an old school like CRT TV.
Yeah, those things were impossible to fucking break.
All three of them.
(32:26):
Is that the gay beard or is it bush?
What is it?
Bud.
Oh, Bud Light.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's OK.
Kid Rock likes Bud Light again, so everybody else does too.
(32:49):
That's the same thing.
He was like shooting or something.
Yeah.
But then after that, he was like, oh, they send me things and we're cool.
Fuck you, Kid Rock.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
I'm the guy.
(33:11):
Oh, shit.
Where are you putting that?
Not at.
That doesn't seem like a very good.
Not.
But the not wrong.
I could be wrong, but are you the not guys?
Oh, no, but.
Yeah, see why these are failed.
(33:36):
I would have hung up on this guy a long fucking time ago.
Can you also see why they're called comedians?
Yes.
Yeah, I'm loving this, though.
(33:57):
Yeah, they literally just saw Jackass and said, oh, we can do that.
But they can't.
Yeah.
Well, and it's also one that we probably know people like this.
Oh, yeah, dude.
Yeah, dude, after Jack, as we were all jumping off roofs and shit.
I know your group of friends definitely was.
(34:22):
All right.
I'm Corey Nelson.
This is Hillbilly landscape.
And let's do it.
You didn't do anything.
Does he know what any words mean?
Yeah, you didn't even try to take any of those branches down with you.
I gave him a second round two.
Yeah, you did a good job.
(34:42):
I love a supportive Twister with broken glass.
Here we go.
Oh, OK.
We're upping the ante a little bit here.
See, look, that looks like real life go go dancers at Fire Island.
Was I mistaken in thinking that Twister was just for play for teenagers?
(35:03):
I have never played it.
It's got to be, right?
This right hand blue.
You mean you're not going to play with your family, right?
That'd be weird.
I mean, if you're one of those people do.
I told you I've been practicing.
I'm getting my body back in shape.
Yeah, look at him.
(35:25):
Oh, yeah.
Listen, I think his body's perfect shape.
He's had his shit.
I think his body's perfect shape. He's had his shit.
I don't think he's fat, but he's definitely fat.
(35:48):
I would prefer him to lose a little weight.
He's not fat.
I don't know.
He's not as fat as that guy.
OK, he is.
And like, it's not all flabby.
Flabby. He looks like he was bursting at the seams.
I think I shaped insane.
(36:08):
Mike's got a wild shape going on.
Like, I think I can almost see that in my future.
My gut is.
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah.
Yeah, and I also have to be careful how I talk about fat guys, too, because my husband's headed there.
So he's already got a complex.
Yeah.
I love fat bald guys.
(36:29):
They're my favorite.
Oh, man.
I'm sorry.
Did you hear her pussy drying up while she said it?
What about ones with gout?
I see that you have gout.
Now I know the coffee is like an NU-EN, not a dirty thing.
It's a horror.
You can leave.
All right, then.
(36:49):
That's just the menopause.
Oh, OK, good.
We got tellies for that.
This is so weird.
So it's not weird.
It's weird that there's going to be an hour of this.
Yeah, I know, man.
So far, I'm not really feeling this one.
(37:11):
Once we hit terrible twister, I was like, oh, shit.
Yes.
But at the same time, like, this is what you do.
You get one of those electric tennis rackets, you feel like you're going to be in a ball.
At the same time, like, this is what you do, you get one of those electric tennis rackets,
you fuck with it.
So I mean, there is a certain level of relatability, I guess you would call it.
(37:36):
Uh-huh.
That kind of makes it feel real.
No, it feels real.
And a lot of real life is not interesting.
Yeah, this one's maybe going to be too long.
Oh, my God.
OK, now, listen, my cousins and I used to actively chase each other around with tasers.
(38:01):
And when I tell you we would take turns teasing each other in the testicles,
that is not a joke.
I don't even know if I could have kids.
I was just surprised that we...
I was just surprised that we kind of saw a dick.
That was a snappy one.
Did it hurt more?
Yeah.
I'm blaring big time.
(38:23):
Fuck yeah, dude.
Yeah, dude, at a certain age, you just saw everything.
It's like, put your balls on it.
Yeah, it was that.
It was around whatever age that was, like, I don't know, 10 to 30.
But you won't put your balls on it.
Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm actually gay because balls are really terrible to behold.
(38:51):
Yeah, balls are rough, man.
I don't know what's going on there.
A dick without balls would look even stranger, but.
Yeah, it would.
It'd look real weird.
Maybe.
It would.
Hey, yeah.
It would, yeah.
I don't know, man.
(39:11):
Okay, I've seen some neutered dogs.
That's what I mean.
It's wild.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Maybe.
Can we just show a video of this every time someone's being gay as a choice?
Lighting fucking asses on fire.
(39:36):
What are they even trying to do?
Unclear.
I think we're lighting the ass on fire.
Okay.
We're burning the ass.
He's trying to like he's trying to like blow fire into his ass onto the ass.
And I'm unsure if the other guy's trying to.
Usually it's like, you know, they try to fart.
That's what I thought we were doing, but now we're.
(40:01):
Yeah, you are.
They say we know all the lines to men in black.
That's what I was about to ask.
Hey, man, that makes you pretty cool in my book.
You know what the difference between you and me is?
I make this look good.
(40:24):
I probably know a lot of lines to the men in black movie.
I'll get first dibs and then you get run off pussy.
You get run off pussy.
They're going to use mom's credit card to get pussy.
Oh, yeah.
Get a little run off pussy.
Hell yeah.
That's a lot.
Yeah, that's a lot.
(40:49):
That's a lot of movie that someone's going to quote.
Maybe it's just so smoky.
Yeah, smoking is cool.
I think so.
I hate it.
I also hate it.
I think I'm going to.
Yeah, dude, you fucking taste the cigarette and you're like, fuck this.
Well, it's mostly the smell of them, right?
(41:09):
Because I'm like, not appealing.
Who's that?
Now, that's David.
That's the director of the movie.
You think anyone's going to watch this and be like, wow, the camera angles were great.
Go start saying that more often.
Wow, the camera angles were great.
Yeah.
(41:29):
I'm pretty sure that's legitimately how I tried to sell Saladin.
When he's sober, he doesn't want to actually do anything.
He wants to talk about it, but he won't actually do it.
Then you get him liquored up a little bit and he's ready to go and he's super awesome.
(41:50):
But then he keeps going and then it's like, I'm done for the night.
I don't want to do anything.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
I can relate.
I don't know.
OK, straight to jail.
Yeah, I was like, as soon as I saw the thing, I was like, they're going to do something.
(42:11):
I almost gag a little bit.
Yeah, that was gross.
Slurping fucking cigarette butts.
Straight to jail.
Hell yeah.
We're peeing on everybody.
Oh, no.
(42:31):
He's got poop on that pain.
Yeah, he has.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
That's so fucking gross.
Oh, he wiggled it.
He wiggled his butt.
Oh, my God.
(42:55):
And we have a happy man today.
Watch him pull up his pants and not white.
Uh huh.
That's exactly what he's going to do.
Oh, you can't paint him.
Oh, yeah.
You got some color paint for me?
(43:17):
Oh, God.
Oh, my God.
It's almost worse when you go, do you got the toilet paper for me?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's bad, dude.
That is bad, dude.
I messed up.
The beast.
(43:44):
No, no, no.
No.
If you tongue punch my fucking exposed bone, I'm going to stab you to death with it.
Do you understand me?
Yeah, like what the fuck, man?
You're not even recording this.
This is great.
And I'm trying to go with like a like a sailor like gay.
(44:08):
Yeah, you nailed it.
But go.
You've been gay for some time throwing darts.
That is good.
Hell, yeah.
Human dart board.
Yeah.
Oh, OK.
We're about to do some pain.
And women.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(44:37):
Yeah, dude.
Don't fuck up my cutting board, dude.
It's for serving my cheese when I have friends over.
That'll make it funny then because you'll fuck up and you'll be right.
Yeah, it looks fucking great.
It looks fucking great.
It's a fucking video.
This is what it's a fucking video.
I understand.
I understand.
But, dude, you're taking this way too fucking far.
(44:57):
No, it's a fucking video.
It's all like that's the fucking point of this, dude.
Cooking it on the pizzazz.
Uh huh.
This is great.
Hell, yeah.
I'm honestly surprised that a pizzazz could cook a pizza, to be honest.
I've never actually used one in my life.
I didn't know anyone actually owned one.
(45:19):
Yeah.
OK.
Me either.
There's no way it's better than an oven.
Well, or like even...
You're fucking sick, dude.
It can't be more convenient at all.
It seems like kind of a bitch to clean.
I don't know.
Yeah.
And then your pizza's just out in the open.
(45:40):
That's what I mean.
Just warm one around.
Yeah.
That's the way it's getting crispy.
Hell, yeah.
It was almost... This is the thing.
It was like almost good.
They went to cartoon when it was time for the like downward spiral into mayhem.
(46:03):
Right?
Yeah, it was like cartoonishly psycho, right?
Yeah, it was too goofy, too slick.
And also there was about 30 minutes too much of the dick and balls.
And just, yeah, it was definitely too long.
(46:23):
You're saying there's too much dick and balls.
Well, the behavior was dick and balls.
We only saw a couple of balls, but...
Oh, yeah, OK.
Balls?
Some we've been seeing lately.
Way more balls in this one.
Yeah.
I'd like more dick and less balls, maybe.
(46:45):
Balls don't really do much for me.
Yeah, yeah, it's all about the dick.
I like to know that they're there.
They can make an appearance.
Yeah.
They don't need to be the star of the show.
They're definitely not the star, but...
They're great supporting cast.
Yeah.
Don't neglect the balls.
Don't neglect the balls.
(47:07):
You've got to, you know, you've got to pop in, say hello to the balls.
Yeah.
Let them know they're appreciated.
They're doing great.
Give them some words of affirmation.
I've just been over here fighting the urge to say that I kind of like balls.
No, that's fine.
Everyone can like balls.
There's something wrong with you, but...
(47:27):
Hi, my name's Lisa.
I'm what some people call a sex addict.
Yeah.
I mean, just because I like to have sex with a lot of boys doesn't make me a freak, OK?
Yeah.
No, I like some people's balls.
I don't like on principle just a set of balls.
So yeah.
Yeah.
(47:48):
Yeah.
I mean, yeah, just looking at balls.
No, not great.
Absolutely not.
Yeah.
This movie didn't...
It's like, you know, the whole premise of it is a bad jackass and, you know, they nailed that.
They did.
It is a bad jackass, but it's a bad jackass.
(48:10):
Yeah, maybe I'm also not the target audience for this.
I didn't actually watch the real jackass.
That's not really my thing.
I've seen clips of jackass and I do find them amazing.
I don't want to sit and watch like an hour of it.
(48:31):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, and that's exactly what it is, you know, fucking stunts and punk music and skateboard
videos.
Yeah, but by the end of the jackass movies, weren't they doing like Mission Impossible
level stunts and shit?
Yeah, they were getting like shot out of rockets.
Yeah.
Gored by bulls and shit like that.
(48:52):
True.
The first, I don't know, maybe 30 minutes or so of it.
I mean, yeah, it was bad stunts, which is what the movie is supposed to be, but it wasn't
entertaining.
Yeah, it was.
There was too many of them.
Things picked up a little bit when it got to I think it was Terrible Twister with the
(49:17):
broken glass on the twister board.
Well, I thought things were going to pick up.
That kind of piqued my interest a little bit.
I was, you know, kind of focused on it more than I was.
And then, yeah, it's got its, you know, peaks and valleys.
But this is, you know, the 2023 movie, whereas Family is 2024.
(49:38):
So if anything, I think things are just getting better.
As I said, I mean, this one was almost good.
It's just like, it didn't need to be an hour and 10 minutes.
And if it was going to be an hour and 10 minutes, about 20 minutes more of that at the end
should have been like part of the decline into weirdness, I think.
(49:58):
I thought at Twister things were picking up, but then it was like, oh, yeah, it's
then we kind of went back to more bullshit for a while.
And then all of a sudden just went into, yeah, him going crazy.
I would like to say, wow, the camera angles were great.
(50:20):
I do think for this, like this, like home video style, it actually was
a well shot, like home video thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I mean, like, you know, the whole kind of feel and atmosphere is 100 percent there.
Yeah.
Just like in Family, it feels real.
(50:42):
It feels like shit like we would do.
It definitely felt authentic.
And it also I think he obviously pays attention to sound because
he was playing literal slapstick comedy, real music for a majority of their ill-contrived
stunts.
And then the sound design did angle dark when it was time for now we're descending into
(51:07):
madness.
So I mean, it was almost it was almost good for me.
It was mostly just kind of irritating and felt long, though.
For me.
I sort of liked it.
I would have liked, you know, from Twister on to just be gradually like him getting worse.
Yeah.
(51:27):
Like, you know, just ramping up the depravity instead of like the peaks and valleys.
I guess we do a little bit, but they spend an awful lot of time like zoomed in on Mike
like and him sort of like ego tripping in a weird way.
We did get to watch him poop on to a canvas, so that was nice.
(51:51):
Loved that for me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was cool.
Squirt, squirt, squirt.
Yeah, I'm sure his diet's not that great.
Squirt poop.
Yeah, that was fucking disgusting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I liked when Jordan just came out and was like, that's that's bad, man.
(52:15):
Whatever the fuck you said.
Yeah, he said something like that.
Like, that's bad.
I was I was happy and edified by him addressing the gay pirate or the gay, the gay sailor,
because that's exactly what that costume was for the whole film.
That's why I was like a go-go dancer at Fire Island.
That's like how most people would be.
(52:36):
That's why I was like a go-go dancer at Fire Island. That's like how most of them dress
because go-go dancers, you've got like the slim cut ones, but then you've got the ones
that are like they spend some time bulking and now they're just like doing G at the club.
And that's kind of what they look like because they take G, don't drink any water,
(52:58):
just fucking shotgun, Red Bulls and vodkas and.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, have a little ascot and a gay fucking sailor hat.
Permanent bulking cycle.
Man, I wish I could remember the line, but I love the line that was like,
(53:18):
I don't know, something about his dad's dick and he's like, that's not true.
Oh, you're just like your dad.
That's not true.
My dick's way smaller.
Lisa, you star rating in your what the fuck moment.
I think I'm going to go two stars.
Oh, no.
Not bad from Lisa.
That's what I was thinking.
I must have to go lower than.
(53:41):
No, I I did kind of like this one.
I it is my least favorite David Dawson movie I've watched, though, of the three.
Yeah, two stars.
My what the fuck moment.
Two stars. My what the fuck moment is definitely him pooping on that fucking canvas.
(54:03):
That was disgusting.
And there's no faking that, like that was really him.
Now, now you don't think so.
No, absolutely not.
You don't think he just put on that canvas.
No, he had a you think so.
He had a little frosting container.
I think he did a little squirty square, but not a poop.
Yeah.
(54:23):
Yeah.
Now, that was not absolutely.
OK, I'm going to choose to believe like the angle and like, oh, I think it was aided by the angle.
That was a good.
This is a good camera angle.
Yeah.
Camera angles are great.
And just it's so fucking disgusting.
(54:44):
Yeah, like, oh, he's just squirting a little bit of poop on a canvas and then
he signs his fucking signature with the brush.
Yeah.
Yeah, because I'm willing to bet his come out even wetter.
Probably permanent diarrhea.
And then and then him in the background going, you got the toilet paper.
(55:09):
But you are his his right.
I guess you you already stood up and you've been sort of ambling about with the poop.
With the poop, but you don't don't stand up and walk about.
No, no, no, no.
I don't know, man, if you're just going to shit in the fucking backyard.
(55:32):
Water hose.
There's water hose.
And yet you got to take care of yourself, man.
I think so.
And, you know, I mean, if you're going to go that far,
I mean, don't even bring up the wiping part.
Yeah, it's too late in the game.
Did you bring toilet paper for me?
Dry toilet paper.
It's worse.
It's worse.
(55:53):
You want dry toilet paper outdoors in the light of our Lord?
I don't know.
Yeah, I just I didn't like it.
I didn't like anything about that scene.
That was terrible.
Not even the camera angles.
You didn't like the great camera angles.
Yeah, sure.
(56:13):
OK, cool, cool.
All right, though, what's your star rating and what the fuck from it?
I didn't like it.
I do think it was almost good, though.
So I guess we'll hang out with Lisa.
I like two stars.
OK.
Because unironically, I did think it was shot well.
I liked the sound design.
(56:34):
Yeah.
I think just sort of the writing and direction was a bit suspicious.
Maybe for me, my what the fuck moments going to be him, Hottie number one, his name, I
can't recall already.
Gabe, gay sailor, Jordan bent over by the bonfire while friend number three goes
(56:58):
underneath his legs with the lighter.
And Mike spews lighter fluid into his agape asshole to virtually no effect.
But they do it several times just over and over.
Yeah.
So now your actual intestinal lining has lighter fluid in it.
(57:22):
And we didn't even get a fireball.
So I'm not sure.
I'm not sure.
I don't even what were they even trying to accomplish?
What were they even trying to accomplish?
I think they were trying to burn their ass hair at his ass.
Yeah.
Trying to send ass hairs, I guess.
OK.
Because before that, they had a little conversation, something like,
(57:44):
I'll just grab you and hug you if you're on fire still.
Yeah. I know they were trying to light him up.
I think he was just literally trying to blow fire at him.
And OK.
But into the exposed asshole.
It would have worked.
I would have thought so, too.
You would have squirted lighter fluid into a flame.
(58:05):
Yeah.
It's going to fucking go.
I think so as well.
So.
Shit.
I don't know.
All I can say is user error.
I'm not sure.
I think he was really just trying to get an eyeball up in that ass.
Yeah, dude.
Well, I think they probably just couldn't find a way to fake it.
So they had to make it up.
Yeah.
(58:25):
It's probably not something you should do.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's probably like an insurance nightmare.
I'd imagine.
Yeah.
But yeah, I'm saying it would work.
It would probably work better than you wanted it to.
I think.
Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.
I think more than your ass.
(58:45):
I think your ass is like the only thing getting singed.
Mm hmm.
But, you know.
What about you, Christopher?
What's your star rating and what the fuck moment?
I'm going to give this one of three reasons I've said.
(59:07):
It's a little slow, but it was exactly what I think it set out to be.
Yeah.
My what the fuck moment is going to be.
I'm going to piggyback on these slightly during the Jackson Poo Lock stunt.
(59:29):
He poops on the canvas and then grabs paintbrush and makes a happy little mountain,
which is obviously a Bob Ross technique.
It has nothing to do with Jackson Pollock.
(59:49):
I was going to call that out while we were watching.
Yeah, I did appreciate the like Jackson Poo Lick.
That's amazing.
Yeah.
Even then, I mean, that's when you want the wet fucking diarrhea shits, right?
So you can splatter it.
Yeah, you do get more of the canvas covered.
It's definitely a little bit more impressionist.
(01:00:13):
That's the Jackson Pollock style.
It is just splooge it all over that canvas.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right, there's some how spicy is this movie?
This movie is that fucking pizza that he made on that stupid little.
(01:00:36):
It's a pizzazz.
Pizzazz thing.
Wet soft dough.
Soggy pizza that's just been cooking on your countertop of your not so clean house.
With a thin villainous layer of cheese on top.
Yeah.
And then, you know, add some hot dogs on top.
(01:00:59):
What a great pizza.
Hot dog pizza is pretty dark side.
The sauerkraut on there.
Oh, you got you a meal.
You show up to my house with a fucking hot dog pizza.
I consider that an act of domestic terrorism.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's what this is.
This is a hot dog pizza cooked on your fucking countertop.
(01:01:21):
Pizzazz straight to jail.
I'm not going to knock the pizzazz.
Supposedly it works.
I'm calling bullshit on a pizzazz.
That is a bullshit.
Bullshit.
I don't know.
I don't know.
If you're like, if your toddler is the one cooking and you don't trust them with the
oven, maybe.
(01:01:42):
Maybe.
Yeah.
How does it?
Is there a heater on the bottom too?
It must be something going on.
Because I know that that one little piece is obviously heat source.
There's got to be a heater on the bottom or yes, it's just it's fucked.
It's not going to get crispy at all.
Like.
I don't want to buy one and try it because.
Absolutely not.
(01:02:03):
Where the fuck am I going to?
Where am I going to put up his ass?
And the counter space.
We have so many other things we can do with the counter space.
I got to cook three, four fucking pieces at a time, man.
Yeah.
I can't do one piece at a time.
That's the other thing.
One of those pizzas is a light work for myself personally, because that was a tiny ass little
(01:02:23):
pizza.
I fold that bitch over like a taco.
Om nom nom.
It's gone.
It's done for.
And not all frozen pizzas are the same fucking size.
What are you going to do?
Is it going to hang off the fucking edges?
Yeah.
What if it's a dijon now and it's actually got some crust going on?
You can't tell me that thing cooks crust.
(01:02:46):
That thing's good for a thin villainous Tony.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that's Tony.
Yeah.
You got to do a red Baron.
Which among the among the frozen pizzas of that caliber,
red Baron's got to be like us here.
I think.
Dude, let me tell you, man, I don't know if you've tried it, but Motor City Pizza.
(01:03:10):
I think I know what dish fucking pizzas.
Oh, God damn.
I have not tried them, but I think I know what to what you're referring.
Because I have seen them.
Fuck and get you one next time you want a frozen pizza.
Probably the best I've ever had.
I will.
And then ironically, I know this is stupid, but I sometimes I want frozen pizza.
(01:03:31):
I don't want like to order a pizza.
I like actually want a frozen pizza.
I prefer frozen pizza a lot of times over like real.
Like the other day we got it like eight of those like just, you know,
little ones because something about I don't know what they put in them bitches.
But yeah, this little party.
Oh, the party pizza.
Something about this specifically is just, um, num, num, num, num.
(01:03:54):
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
What is it about those things?
Crack some sort of some sort of crack.
It's a special pizza.
I don't know, but it's fucking delicious.
And it's, it's just not the same as like a good pizza is a pizza.
That's great.
But this is something else.
Yeah.
And it's weird because there's like maybe three fucking strands of cheese on that.
(01:04:20):
I know.
Fucker dude.
But I think honestly that's part of it for me because I don't hate cheese, but like,
I don't need, I can like feel it in my arteries if I have too much anything dairy related.
And not in a way that pleases me.
So maybe that's part of what enhances it for me.
But there's also something flavor wise going on.
(01:04:40):
That's not going on in a pizza.
There's some unnatural shit going on.
Listen, and it's probably terrible, but I'm going to keep.
Oh yeah.
I'm going to keep shoving it up my ass.
Right.
Yeah, dude.
Because I love it.
Something's wrong.
Yeah, it's so right.
Oh God.
It's so with the party pizza, dude.
(01:05:01):
Yeah.
Man, we can talk about pizza all night.
I really could.
Bo, how spicy is this movie?
This one's like.
Like you ever you ever give a blow job with a condom on?
(01:05:22):
I haven't.
No.
Flavored.
Yeah.
Like the Jolly Ranchers.
Yeah, this is like, this is like sucking a dirty dick, but it's got a Jolly Rancher condom on.
OK, hell yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:05:43):
Shit.
All right.
What about you, Christopher?
How spicy is this film?
Oh my God.
I should have thought about this.
I had so much time.
No, that's what happened to me because I don't think these are spicy.
So I'm like, I can't really say any spicy foods, but it was unpleasant.
So.
Yeah, it's a it's pretty mild.
(01:06:08):
This is a.
Well, shout out to fucking Taco Bell Taco Bell fucking mild sauce.
Looking at you, Illinois.
Yeah.
Not a Mexican pizza.
Special thanks.
Taco Bell.
Not a sponsor, just free advertisement tubes.
Girl, you just said it's like a Taco Bell.
(01:06:29):
You didn't even fucking pick anything off the menu.
I said a mild sauce.
I want mild sauce.
Did you?
I want to I wanted to say mild sauce.
Yeah, you did.
Did Taco Bell mild sauce.
Oh, OK.
It's a Taco Bell.
I swear I didn't pick up the mild sauce thing at all.
I was like, what?
I don't know.
(01:06:50):
This went harder than family, though, right?
Yeah.
It's not going higher for me.
I think I meant like I meant like spicy wise.
Like gore.
Oh, yeah, definitely that.
Yeah, but OK, it's a Taco Bell medium.
Medium, not a mild.
Yeah.
(01:07:10):
All right.
Now, where's it going to go on my leaderboard?
Yeah.
It's going to go on my new number 16 spot.
It's going to go right above worms.
Right below a Serbian film.
Oh, yeah.
No. 16 for Lisa.
Yeah.
But where is it going to go on your leaderboard?
(01:07:32):
I think it'll be my new number 23.
No, it'll be my new number 24.
Right below August underground and above tumbling dollar flesh.
All right.
What about you, Christopher?
I think I'm going to make it my new.
(01:07:55):
Yeah, it's kind of like playing darts there in the middle.
I couldn't really decide, so I just fucking picked one.
Yeah, that's kind of where I'm at.
And like, I think I'm you know, it's been so long since we've seen some of these.
I'm like, they're pretty fucking good.
Yeah, but I know for a fact, that's a lie.
Yeah, I think I'm just going to have to land at number 26 below devil's experiment above worms.
(01:08:21):
Don't feel 100 percent about it, but that's where it's going.
I think I might have to put tumbling doll three.
I don't feel good about the two on tumbling doll, man.
I don't know.
Well, you can't change it now.
So wasn't that most it?
(01:08:43):
It was.
You did not appreciate most of that film.
According to your own feedback.
Yeah.
That's not true.
That's not true.
Two seems like it's such a fucking low score to give some, I agree.
That's that's that's why we even when.
I agree.
(01:09:03):
I got to revamp my entire fucking rating system.
I'm kind of figuring it out on the fly.
As of right now, I feel like almost everything probably needs to go up a star.
Sometimes I feel the exact opposite.
Anyway, that was the David Dawson double down.
(01:09:25):
If you like found footage, horror, juggalo shit.
If you like jackass shit, check these out, man.
Yeah.
Next week, we will be doing another listener request.
Okay.
This one is coming from iPod Todd.
(01:09:49):
Nice.
We will be reviewing the 1970 I drink your blood.
Okay.
It's a hippie exploitation horror film.
Nice.
Decided to check it out.
Join us next week when we cover.
(01:10:11):
I drink your blood.
Yeah.
That's it for this episode of what the fuck are you watching?
Say bye bitch.
Bye bitch.
That's damn good.
Did you think this podcast was as good as instant noodles?
Or is it more like a cobalt blue tarantula?
(01:10:32):
Leave us a rating and review wherever you listen to this podcast at.
Get in touch with us at wtfruwatchingpod at gmail.com where you can leave reviews for
the movies we've been watching, recommend other movies for us to watch, or leave any
questions or comments for us to answer.
Either way, thanks for listening.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Intentionally Disturbing
Join me on this podcast as I navigate the murky waters of human behavior, current events, and personal anecdotes through in-depth interviews with incredible people—all served with a generous helping of sarcasm and satire. After years as a forensic and clinical psychologist, I offer a unique interview style and a low tolerance for bullshit, quickly steering conversations toward depth and darkness. I honor the seriousness while also appreciating wit. I’m your guide through the twisted labyrinth of the human psyche, armed with dark humor and biting wit.