I Drink Your Blood

Its listener request week! This one comes from the one and only Ipod Todd.

I Drink Your Blood (1971).

Satanic hippies invade small town America, only to be infected with Rabies and all hell breaks loose!

Join us as we revel in old school Grindhouse greatness!

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Lisa: @lisawtfareyouwatching

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Buy the movie: Grindhouse Releasing

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
You will be given a test to determine your ability to withstand shock.

(00:05):
Well, look who's here.
This is the night when fear and horror walk hand in hand.
Do you feel up to it?
The most terrifying form of evil is that which lurks within the human mind.

(00:25):
Rated X.
Welcome to What the Fuck are you watching? We're a weekly movie cat- fuck. Start over.
It washed over you.
Welcome to What the Fuck are you watching? We're a weekly movie podcast discovering
the disturbing, the extreme, and everything in between. I'm Chris and I am joined by...

(00:48):
Hi, my name's Lisa. I'm what some people call a sex addict.
Lisa.
Hello.
How you doing, Liz?
I'm good. I like my little intro thing. Makes me happy going into the podcast.

(01:09):
And you're also joined by...
And we're also joined by...
Bo. Oh my god.
Bo. How are you, Bo?
Okay.
Hell yeah. Before we get started today, I got some shit to tell you.
Okay.
Here's an email. It's from James. Okay, see James. Hey. Wait, that's my email to James.

(01:36):
Glad you liked the episode.
All right. This is James' email.
Hey, it's James again. Love the episode on Salo. Full disclosure, I've never actually seen it
and didn't recommend it because I thought you'd like it, but I wanted to hear you guys discuss it.

(01:57):
Lisa's commentary during the film was magical.
He's talking about the cannoli part.
Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
I haven't listened to the episode still, so I don't know what he's talking about.
Well, you implied, and not even implied, outright stated that you now prefer circumcised dicks

(02:20):
given their comparable nature to a cannoli, cream center included.
And that's going to excite a lot of people out there. And Chris left that in.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm getting a lot looser with the edits. So if you don't want something in,
don't say it. I don't know what I'm saying the whole time.

(02:42):
Look, what now?
Just expecting you to cut it off.
Yeah, no, because then you also went on a sort of uncomfortably long rant about
how like, yeah, you know, just like when I eat a cannoli, I let it sit in between my ample bosoms,
sort of like a heater, kind of like an oven lamp.

(03:04):
Yeah, no, I didn't say that.
I got a little fucking off the rails.
It was kind of wild. I'm into it.
No.
I would also like to mention that Lisa has started reading the film, and I'm sure you've heard of
that, but Lisa has started reading the 100.

(03:25):
For the first time in her entire life.
No.
So give her a little, some words of encouragement.
Yeah.
She's working through hop on pop right now.
Oh my God.
No, Lisa has started.
How many books did you read last year, Chris?
If you give a mouse a cookie.
Zero.

(03:47):
Probably zero.
I don't know.
No, that's the joke, because Lisa and I are like the book club nerds.
Yeah.
I was like, because I know for sure I read like 165.
So yeah, I was like, I think I might have hit the 200 mark, but I'd have to, I'd have to check.
I know I was like right around 180 on my little.

(04:09):
Yeah.
I know I bought at least 200 books last year.
Yeah.
Yeah, Lisa set her goal at 150 books, and she fucking did.
She set her goal at 150 books and she fucking smashed it this year, dude.
Yeah.
Horatious.
So she has started reading the 120 days of Sodom.
Now, what I need you guys to do, if you are interested.

(04:33):
And Lisa doing book reviews on extreme disturbing books.
I need you to go on Instagram.
Find Lisa.
Lisa, what the fuck are you watching?
I need you to direct message her and tell her.
That she has got to start doing book reviews.

(04:55):
Pictures of uncircumcised penises to the front of the line.
Make sure they have cream fillings.
Oh my God.
Gotta have cream.
I'm going to have to do a lot of work tomorrow.
It's also mail day here at the what the fuck are you watching studio.

(05:19):
Oh, yeah.
Got a small package here.
I want to open it up.
Okay.
Some foli work here.
W2.
Motherfucking love dumb.
Yeah.
It is a short film.
We're going to do one more Sam Hill short film.

(05:41):
And we'll do a little double episode on it.
Sam hell.
Yeah.
We got to come up with a good name for that one.
Sam hell six suck.
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
Breed me daddy.
Why do the gays say breeding when it's literally breeders who breed?

(06:05):
I wondered the same thing.
Why is it breed me daddy and it's a boy saying it.
I don't know.
Get a grip.
Dude say that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Breed me.
Whoa, Lisa, what the fuck are you watching?

(06:27):
I am watching.
I drink your blood from 1971.
Shit.
Now this is a listen to recommendation from the one and only iPod Todd.
Yeah.
I think Todd has given us a little history lesson with this one because this was the first film ever to be rated X by the MPAA based on violence alone.

(06:57):
Oh, okay.
You know, a lot of things that were rated X for, you know, nudity and sexual content.
This one got the X from pure violence.
Okay.
So we got a little, you know, historical landmark here, I think with I drink your blood.

(07:21):
This is also kind of a grind house type movie.
It is 100% a grind house type movie.
It was a double feature.
Uh huh.
Yeah, it was a double feature paired with I eat your flesh or no, I eat your skin.
This one is written and directed by David E. Durston starring Baskar Roy Chow hurry.

(07:49):
Baskar Roy Chowdhury.
Jaden.
Jaden Wong, Rhonda Foltz, George Patterson, Riley Mills, John Damon, a lot of others.
A lot of people.
Uh, there's a little storyline for you.
This one's from Josh Pasnak.

(08:10):
Yeah.
A band of Satanist hippies roll into a town and begin to terrorize the local folk.
They rape a local girl and her grandfather goes after them.
He fails and is given LSD.
Is that really a failure?

(08:32):
This bothers his grandson who gets back at the hippies by feeding them meat pies infected with blood from a rabid dog.
They turn into crazed lunatics and start infecting and or killing everyone and everything in their path.
That sounds fucking crazy.
Uh huh.

(08:54):
Yeah.
You gave my grandpa LSD so I'm going to give you meat pies with infected dog blood.
Turn them into rabid fucking Satanic hippies dude.
I guess age wasn't a thing yet was it?
Oh yeah, I had a good smile.
Uh, David E. Durston.

(09:15):
This only has seven director credits.
Died in 2010.
His last director credit was for Manhole in 1978.
That sounds super gay.
Manhole.
Oh, it is gay.
Two vice cops infiltrate New York City's gay underworld to entrap homosexuals who engage in illegal sex acts.

(09:39):
Oh my gosh.
Not in trap.
That's terrible.
That's another X rated boy.
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
Old gay stuff is really depressing.
Yeah.
1970s.
A different reason is that new gay stuff is also depressing but it's for entirely different reasons.

(10:02):
Yeah.
Oh man.
Now, you might be wondering, you know, I am greatly worried about Satanic hippies and I would like to teach my kids the dangers of hippies and or Satanism.
Can I show my children this movie?

(10:24):
Luckily, we have the parents guide to guide us.
Sex annuity has been rated moderate.
Occasional sexual comments made in the film.
Nothing overly crude and never are rated.
Comments include that a woman needs to be riveted.
Physically?

(10:47):
Yeah.
Riveted.
Reamed.
Tapped.
It's all machinist terminology.
Yeah.
Female nudity seen during opening Satanic ritual.
Hell yeah.
Running naked women, bare butts of dudes.

(11:09):
Yeah.
A woman with rabies makes a comment that implies she has had sex with many of the men she's standing with.
Oh my gosh.
Many men, many, many, many, many, many have come in me.
Violence and gore has been rated severe.
The violence is very fake.

(11:31):
The violence in the film is very graphic and gory.
Yeah.
Okay.
The film opens with a chicken getting its throat slit.
We see blood spray and pour out.
We'll give a fuck about a chicken.
Yeah, that's like, oh my God, what was it?
Okay.
Oh yeah.
Flour.

(11:52):
Flour.
Flour.
Yeah.
Flour, flesh and blood.
Yeah.
Yeah, dude.
I wrecked like, I don't know, at least 80 chickens the other night just from eating their wings.
I eat a dozen eggs almost daily.
Yeah, so.
Get fucked, chickens.
A man's feet are cut.
We see much blood drip out.

(12:15):
An old man is punched in the stomach.
He spits out a lot of blood, which stains his shirt.
Oh no.
A man is kicked in the groin.
Profanity has been rated mild.
Some uses of the word shit, damn, ass, and hell.
Oh no.
Alcohol, drugs, and smoking has been rated moderate.

(12:36):
Hippies take LSD, among other narcotics.
Frightening and intense scenes has been rated severe.
The entire film is remarkably intense and full of shock scares.
There's a shock every few minutes.
The intense tone and horror of the film is quite constant and relentless.
Yeah.

(12:59):
All right, here's a review for you.
One out of 10 stars.
It's titled, Pass the Barf Bag.
About the worst piece of stinking garbage ever seen.
Shocking? Nope.
Gross? You bet.
Seems everyone in this film and behind the lenses is tripping on acid.

(13:20):
Enough said.
Sounds like a good time to me.
Yeah.
Why do you say we watch this movie?
Yeah, let's watch this movie.
Are you excited?
I'm not.
Good.
Are you riveted?
No.
Are you reamed?
No.

(13:41):
Is your muffin buttered?
No.
Would you like us to assign somebody to butter your muffin?
No.
You're growing right now? I need you to be moaning.
Yeah, not a lot of moaning, Lisa.
Yeah.
Going live.
Oh, this is very 70s.

(14:04):
I wonder if this will be even the real version because of fucking...
Maybe.
It was at this point Chris realized that streaming services only offer their rated cut of the film.
He also thought that one hour and 23 minutes did not equal 83 minutes.
Chris is an idiot.
You can purchase the ex-rated cut of the film through Grindhouse Releasing.

(14:27):
There is a link in the show notes.
I checked out runtimes.
The similar?
Well, they're all fucking different, but there's like a 70 something minute one and then there's like an 80 something minute one.
This one's hour 23, so I don't know what the fuck's going on.
Well, this is 83.

(14:49):
Oh shit.
This is 83?
Yes, an hour and 23 minutes would be 83 minutes.
It sure would.
Fuck, this isn't the one I want, I don't think.
Right, well.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I think we want the 73 minute one.
Why?
That's shorter.

(15:11):
The 73 minute is supposed to be the fucking crazy one.
That makes no sense.
I know.
Yeah.
And it's the original 73 minute form.
I Drink Your Blood was rated X by the MPAA.
The film was re-edited, different scenes were added, and the film was released R rated at 83 minutes.

(15:32):
That is so fucking weird.
We made a longer and worse.
That's a hot take there.
That's crazy.
We just got to fucking go with it now.
Yeah, it'll be okay.
Okay, so we could only, unfortunately, we can only find the R rated cut.
So we will not be watching the X rated cut tonight.

(15:54):
Disappointed in myself.
That's all right. I'll flash my dick.
All right.
Let's watch this movie.
I like what's going on here.
It's a rabid hippie right there.
Yeah.
Doesn't immediately make you think foaming at the mouth.

(16:16):
You ever been sucked off by a crackhead?
No.
Unfortunately not.
They're probably very enthusiastic.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They can, once they set their mind to something.
And afterwards their face looks just like that.

(16:37):
Pretty much.
I just sucked a dick, didn't I?
Yeah.
Was that your penis?
All righty.
Let's see if we can get this thing.

(17:00):
Is it showing?
Is this acceptable?
Yeah.
Okay.
It was very loud for me.
Let it be known to all the spirits.
That I am a Capricorn.
Not the Power Ranger Mules.
It's more for time.

(17:21):
Capricorn!
He's the Capricorn.
He's the goat.
Let all the spirits hear.
I am the firstborn son of Satan.
I think that girl's going to get in trouble.
She's hiding behind the tree with her clothes on.
That's not allowed.

(17:45):
And together we'll all freak out.
Oh my gosh.
Together we'll all freak out.
As they have a naked lady laid out like a feast.
Hell yeah.
Oh no, here comes the chicken.

(18:10):
That was pretty gross to watch.
Yeah.
This is pretty gross to watch.
Chicken blood on the titties.
Yeah, just drizzling it all over.
Does Satan get pissy about sacrifices like God does?
You know, the thing of it is,

(18:36):
there are conflicting schools of thought on that.
I think if you sacrifice a chicken to God, he would not be happy about it.
He wouldn't. He had a lot of fucking specific.
He was very prissy about his fucking sacrifices.
In the Old Testament.
Can't be inviting the local girls here.
I'll look at her limping away.
Looks like the girl limping away and daddy.

(18:59):
Just so you know, I think she got raped.
Yeah, but these guys are all way hotter than daddy was.
Yeah.
He doesn't look like she's doing too good.
Yeah, look at her.
Oh man, her legs are fucked up.
I'm gonna get your grandfather.
Is this the grandson that shoots rabid dogs?

(19:22):
Oh man.
Dude, that'd be fucking great.
I hope so. I hope it's his little nine year old fuck.
I'll show these hippies.
Son of a bitch.
Son of a bitch.
What is this diction with which he speaks?
Dude, I don't know.
You don't know.
I think he's got like a.
You have to make it to the next town on foot.
An Indian thing going on, right?

(19:43):
Yeah, he is.
But he has the strangest accent.
Oh, it's strange to like give into half the stereotype,
but then go transatlantic with the voice.
I'm not sure.
Population 40.
So it's going to be 48.
Oh, sometimes the face isn't hot.

(20:04):
Yeah.
It's just the body, honestly.
Yeah, you might be right.
I thought he was a pretty good looking dude there for a minute.
No, he's got the fucking jawline and the cheekbones.
Yeah.
That was not a good angle.
Yes, there's a Dr.
Oaks.
I'm sure Roger would let Dr.
Oaks.
Yeah.
Is this Pokemon?

(20:25):
Yeah.
Somebody certainly treated her like one.
What do you think happened?
Nobody around here could have done it.
I think she got railed, honey.
She was playing too many games of blind man.
You play blind man.
I bet it was daddy.
It's always daddy.

(20:46):
My God.
Hey, you, wait a minute.
I'm driving with the kid hanging out the window.
I know you've got problems, but so do I.
We've got to talk.
I'm going to start starting every conversation.
I know you've got problems, but so do I.
That car is not sound good.

(21:09):
The car is on the fucking brink.
What is going on?
I know what the car is, the damn project.
Yeah, I was like, it might be the equipment in the background.
OK.
There's nobody left in Valley Hills because of your damn damn.
Not the damn jokes.
Yeah, my dad used to always tell the damn joke.

(21:33):
I'm sorry.
Were people in the 70s just like super hot or what, dude?
Well, they were like for like 20 minutes.
And then they hit like 30 and it was a fucking rap.
Was it fucking like Woodstock happened?
Fucking game over.
Fucking Rick, dude.

(21:57):
Yeah.
Hey, honey, rape is a little out of an engineer's domain.
Big help.
You are.
Look, I'll do what I can.
Engineers don't rape people.
Good morning, Mrs. Nash.
How are you?
Fine, thank you.
They'd get too caught up in the logistics of the rape and the.

(22:20):
Yeah, the structural integrity of the rape.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This place is.
What was that Mickey Mouse shit?
Yeah.
We ought to do like we did.
Oh, my God.
We should just.
Staring.
What a rat hole to get stuck in.
You're beautiful.

(22:41):
But if you ain't careful, I'm going to skin your ass alive.
I'm a Capricorn.
Yeah.
They react to the hippies just like the hippies things are going to react to them.
Oh, no hippies.
Open for business.
We have a few meat pie.
Any milk?
We have a hungry bunch waiting out there.

(23:04):
You see, we are all members of a rock music group.
What's a meat pie?
On the plane engagement.
It's a pie made of meat.
OK, so it's literally just that.
Yes, it is.
You ever seen Sweeney Todd?
I've seen him.
He is a great guy.
I think he's a great guy.
But he doesn't feel so good.
I got one on the way.
Well, the hotel boarded up.

(23:25):
Sorry.
Two years.
I'm uncultured, man.
Houses are coming down in another few weeks.
How much.
Oh, I'll settle for five dollars.
These ones are garbage version.
So I like the I like the like Indian version.
Meat pies is basically like a.
The Lord.
Yeah.
It's like a fry bread filled with.

(23:46):
OK, it's like a chicken pot pie.
That's what that version is.
So she was so she was nice to him and she gave him some cakes.
And she only charged him five dollars for all their stuff.
Any empty house, the whole.
And he told her, he told her the Lord will bless you.

(24:09):
The Lord will bless you.
This is a hell of a party of people, dude.
Yeah, it is like.
And what's up with the rapier?
The sword.
Yeah, this is seriously.
The rapists have a rapier like.
A party that you would assemble in like Dragon Quest or something, dude.

(24:30):
We got to put this bitch is in full.
Yeah, I'm a geisha gown.
Uh huh.
Because she's trying to think the one in the Moo Moo thing is pregnant.
This is the village people.
Yeah, she's she's in a broken chair now.
Is she pregnant?
Is that why she gets? I think so.

(24:53):
That's also why everything she sits in immediately breaks.
Yeah.
You know, she's just so big because she's pregnant.
You ever find a chair?
Oh, the little boys watch and I'm breaking into the house.
I ain't safe to go on.
Why not?
It's haunted.
Nobody's lived in there for years and years.
Oh, big rats.

(25:15):
So we'll have a rat.
Oh, man, they're really having a rat hunt.
Yeah.
He was serious.
Yeah, I don't think this guy's a joke telling type.
Oh, my God.
Those are rats.
All right.
Uh huh.

(25:36):
Oh, fuck.
He's just going to shoot him.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, and an abandoned house just slaying all the rats.
See, level one fucking Dragon Quest quest, dude, or like, yeah, I'm pretty sure you do
the exact same quest and fucking Morrowind.

(26:00):
You do everything.
Yeah.
Yeah, literally.
Go in the cellar and slay the rats.
Diablo.
Go in the cellar, slay whatever's down there.
Yeah, every every all of the witcher as well has a couple ghostly these rats.
They're having a rat barbecue.

(26:22):
Just like God, just like Siskebub.
Oh, just a whole stick full of rats.
Burn all of them.
Yeah.
Pain and blood are signs of life, not death.
Did not expect that voice from that lady.
So I said that let's put it to the test.
If there is fear among us, then we must get rid of it now.

(26:45):
That's what I mean.
We're given into all the visual stereotypes, but the voice is coming out.
It is not a true member.
Oh, yeah.
There's nothing to be afraid of, dear, dear.
Well, it's patently untrue.
Take this, that disorders.
If you like talking about it.
Oh, it was horrible.

(27:10):
I'm so ashamed.
All the more reason why I should know what happened.
Don't you think I caught him stealing a chicken?
You are.
You ain't going to fuck these chickens, are you?
You ain't cool.
Whisters.
No pig.

(27:33):
Oh, you're a pig.
Now we can sacrifice you.
Oh, yeah.
Slice that foot up.
He's got to take the attic.
Take him up to the attic.
He passed out.
We can't have that.

(27:54):
He's got to be awake for it.
Dude, if you slice the bottom of my fucking feet, man.
Yeah, I'm not into fucking game over, dude.
Yeah.
You're not going to walk for weeks.
Yeah.
I feel the exact same way about all these bitches like blood oath.
Let's fucking slash my palm in my hand.
Yeah.
I go back in the house.

(28:16):
Grandpa's going somewhere.
He's hunting wabbits.
What the fuck?
They've hung him up now and they're just swinging him around.
Yeah.
This is what happens when you put black people in charge.
They're doing one of those Spirograph things with the bloody feet.

(28:40):
Oh, yeah.
They're making art.
Yeah.
Oh, he's going after them because they killed a chicken.
I think he's going after them because they might have raped his granddaughter.
Oh, maybe.
I forgot that was her.
I forgot that was the same girl.
But we can go with he's just there because of the chicken.

(29:04):
Listen, I think it was important to him.
You don't just take a man's chicken.
I forgot she was the same girl when she was telling him the story.
Like, oh, I met this boy and he took a chicken.
These guys need to figure out suspense music.

(29:27):
All right.
That's enough.
Cut him down.
We have a visitor.
We have a visitor.
Is there something you want?
Are you planning on using that thing?
Yes, you son of a bitch.
Around here, we don't fool around with punks like you who attack and beat up young girls.

(29:48):
Your glasses are dirty.
Let's clean them for you or you'll never aim properly.
I'm very good at cleaning.
No, he's not.
There you are.
Nice and clean.
Oh, my God.
He's going to put the broken glasses back on him.

(30:09):
I'm starting to think you have no intentions of cleaning those glasses.
Yeah, I'm trying to think.
This was a joke.
Gramps, we want to cooperate with you.
You could have at least shot somebody.
I know.
Yeah, dude.
Anybody.
Old people from the 70s are supposed to take like no shit at all.

(30:31):
Yeah, he should have just come in by this guy.
It was a little too reasonable.
Yeah.
And his grandkids just waiting outside.
You're pretty yummy for a dirty old man.

(30:54):
Fresh, fresh, no hands.
Stay sweet for hours.
What have you done with my grandfather?
He's been outside having a groovy time.
Cool it, Cherub.
Right here.
Not a Cherub.
Hey, Midget.
Come over here.
Hey, Midget.
I want to talk to you.

(31:17):
Kicked him in the nuts.
Yeah.
Yeah, and coming at him with a stick.
Yeah, that kid don't play.
Yeah, this kid's not taking any shit.
Little drunk Cherub, do you think you can handle him?
Yes.
Give us a kiss, handsome.
He's a little drunk Cherub.
Yeah.
It's okay.
Grandpa's just drunk now.
Come back real soon.

(31:39):
Bye.
My childhood led me to believe I'd encounter a lot more rabid dogs in my life than I have
as well.
Yeah.
I don't know if this is just a me thing, but.
Yeah, rabid to anything, really.
Yeah, not a lot of rabidity in my day-to-day life.
Yeah.
Lots of acid in the woods though.

(32:02):
Oh, man, Grandpa's tripping now.
He's not having a good time.
It's a bad trip.
You didn't do meth in nom, Grant?
They're here in this room.
They've come back from the grave.
This poor old man, he's the only good actor in this film, isn't he?

(32:23):
I think so.
Yeah, that's unfortunate for him.
Yeah, things like get out of here.
What did they give you to drink, Grandpa?
Got him seeing dead people, dude.
Yeah.
What happened to Grandpa?
Got drunk as shit.
He said they got him drunk.
He's not drunk, stupid.
He's been doped.
Huh?
With that stuff that they call LSD.

(32:44):
The whole bunch take it.
What does it do, that L, whatever you call it?
Oh, no.
We really don't know anything.
Boy, you really don't know anything.
Wow.
I do think we need to bring a little bit of that back.
I don't know for sure because I'm not a parent and never will be,
but we really, really baby the kids nowadays.
Yeah.

(33:06):
Just remind them that they're fucking idiots.
Yeah, dude.
Wow, you really don't know anything.
Oh, my God.
You know, it's how to load a shotgun.
Yeah, see, this is what I mean.
This guy is self-sufficient because he's been reminded.
You got to fucking learn some shit.
Look at that fucking flashlight.

(33:27):
I need another flashlight.
I liked the fucking mallet flashlight.
The fucking mag light.
Yeah.
Wielded as a weapon.
Yeah.
But the beam on that motherfucker, pointless basically.
Yeah, dull as shit.
It takes like what, 8D batteries or something.

(33:49):
It's going to last you about 40 minutes.
Yeah.
Hey, it's that dog.
Pete, what did you do?
Nothing.
Don't lie to me.
What was that shot I just heard?
Don't get excited.
That was so gay.
Little hand flip and everything.
I may not know about that else, but it makes you crazy.
I know about rabies.
Grandpa told me all about it.

(34:10):
Oh, yeah.
I'm going to go upstairs and I'm going to stay with Grandpa.
Somebody's got to get him through this trip.
He needs a spirit guide.
Yeah, he does.
He's seeing dead people already.
Dang, he had a rabies PSA above his sink and everything.
Yeah, he does.
He knows all about rabies.
That's what I mean.
We were really prepared for rabies as children.

(34:32):
I was anyway.
I don't know what else other people had going on.
But it wouldn't do the same for you.
Is that a penis pump?
Hell yeah, it is.
It is a penis pump.
I'll show you, hippies.
I'm going to pump your dick.
The kids gather in supplies or something.
Did you know that Q-tips were originally called baby gays?

(34:54):
What?
Is that true?
I think so.
Man, this kid is getting ready.
He's got the penis pump, the IV bags, the gloves, some syringes.
Yeah, he's got a plan.
And a fucking cellar.

(35:15):
Yeah.
Coming up from the cellar.
Q-tips baby gays was the original name of the cotton swab invented by Leo Gerstavang in 1923.
The name was later changed to Q-tips and eventually baby gays was dropped.
That was a mistake.
If you go in there and get me a batch of baby gays, I'll clean out my ears.

(35:46):
What?
Oh, that was supposed to be foam on the dog's mouth.
Yeah, he's a rabid dog.
I thought it was like ice.
I was like, why is the dog half frozen when nothing else is frozen?
Real chilly.
It's their weird foam.

(36:10):
He said, you know what will calm them hippies down?
It's a fucking rabid.
Yeah.
Yeah, you know.
This is insane.
Like who the fuck?
This kid's got a fucking plan.
And it might not be the fucking best one, but.
Well, hell no, it's not the best plan.
Good morning, kid.

(36:31):
Oh, he's cooking all right.
Yeah.
Has the child holding something behind their back ever not look suspicious?
No.
Yeah.
But I can help you with some of the chores.
Especially cooking these pies.
Especially these meat pie chores.
How the fuck are you going to remember which ones you did this to?

(36:57):
Oh, no.
Shot up the meat pies with rabid dog blood.
Oh, yeah.
He must have thought like, yeah, like kill him or something.
I guess.
Maybe, but like he he knows all about rabies.
Remember?
That is true.

(37:18):
He should know.
You eventually die.
Yeah.
But when you get rabies, you go fucking rabid.
Why would you want these hippies going rabid?
I don't think so.
Hey, don't you have anything else?
The meat pies are ready now.
Hot right out of the oven.
We got a special.
Have you seen those videos of people with rabies and they're like scared of water?

(37:41):
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's fucking crazy.
We take the meat pie.
Hydrophobia.
Yummy.
No, no, no, not me.
We'll make a banker out of you yet, Kate.
No, I'm going to be a veterinarian.
Nope.
Yeah.
He doesn't want to be a baker.
Yeah.
How about you shut your mouth, bitch?

(38:03):
No, it's bakery.
Yes, Dr. Banner.
We had we had Dr. Oates and Dr. Banner.
Yeah.
What happens if a human gets rabies?
They go insane and die.
Why do you ask?
Well, funny story.
What happened was I like how he asks after he shoots the meat pies.

(38:27):
I slurped the meat pies.
Mm hmm.
Why is she using her hands?
Dude, that girl's like really hot, but so fucking weird.
Mm hmm.
It's too hot.
I think she is like.
I think she's hot.
Maybe not.
It's that weird kind of hot.
I'm getting one of the balls on that rat.

(38:52):
If I could ever see you like being fucking normal for a second.
I don't think we're going to get that.
How do you feel?
I'll live.
Listen, Sylvia, I'm awful sorry for what happened on a site.
A lot of good that does now.
I was trying to see what happened to her.
Listen, I'm going to leave that idiot group.
Yeah.
They're no damn good anyhow.
Probably got removed or like.

(39:13):
Yeah.
I had to get mixed up with them in the first place.
I don't know if I was a fucking.
Paying attention.
But I didn't see a fucking thing.
I didn't show.
I guess you don't believe in God.
I don't know.
That's a fact.
Can you believe in Satan and not believe in God?
Is this bitch stupid?

(39:37):
This guy is just a menace.
Yeah.
He's the firstborn son of Satan.
I knew that wig was terrible.
I don't know why she's fucking got it on.
Yeah.
He's Capricorn.
I got a pain in my gut.
What does that mean?
Cramps.

(39:58):
Devil's cramps, huh?
Comes in mysterious ways.
Devil's cramps, hell yeah.
This is so fucking weird.
The food must have been spoiled.
Yeah, they show her anxious to unload
those meat pies off on us.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Well, we raped his granddaughter and dosed the granddad.
Trying to get even with us for last night.
Maybe.

(40:20):
What's up with this damn subplot?
I don't know.
All right, well pick up a new can of moose
on the way you used all of it this morning.
I think the rabies is setting in.
What the fuck?
I know, good God.
It's really fucking his stomach up.

(40:41):
What the hell is that?
I haven't been skinny in a while, so I can't relate.
That didn't seem crazy to me.
Yeah, I was like, I think he was just really
sucking his stomach in.
Yeah, because if I lay down and suck in,
I look like a fucking creature.
Yeah.
And I'm not even skinny like I used to be.

(41:04):
Oh man.
Oh my God, the death card.
Oh my God.
Which is a misappropriation of the tarot death card.
It doesn't actually mean that.
Mm-hmm.
That's sacrifice somebody.
Yeah, she said, oh, I drew the death card.
Now we have to sacrifice this guy.

(41:27):
The guy that got his feet sliced up.
I think so.
Yeah.
No!
Oh!
Woo!
Fuck this music, dude.
Oh my God.
That guy immediately went to just murder everybody.

(41:50):
The rest of them are still just having stomach cramps.
Well, he's already exhibited the proclivity anyhow, I think.
Yeah.
He got put in charge for two seconds,
he was chopping up feet, so.
Yeah.
Oh, look, even Horace is like, oh shit, he killed that guy.
He said, well, so it begins.

(42:13):
Very symmetrical puncture wounds on that chest, good job.
Yeah.
Stabbing guy.
I don't know any of these people's names.
I don't either.
Oh, our token black guy is going on a murder spree.
Yeah, he just walked in with the axe

(42:34):
and started trying to smash.
Yeah, she did.
God damn it.
Oh, we got to have a duel?
With the sword and the axe.
What do you think?
What do you think in that duel, the axe or the rapier?

(42:55):
I'm thinking axe, but.
Yeah.
Rapiers got the reach, though, dude, that thing was fucking long.
Is it actually sharp?
That I don't know.
You know.
Oh, my God.
He cut the guy's leg off and is chasing the girl around with it now.

(43:17):
It's a fun time. Yeah.
Little game of footsie.
See, she was smart.
She just got back in her car and got the fuck out of there.
Don't go back for those girls.
He's a pregnant lady walking down the street.

(43:42):
Don't feel bad for.
It's like a fucking sci fi smoke alarm or something, dude.
It is an irritating sound.
It is, yeah.
Shut down.
Yeah, kid, you don't answer the door.
Grandpa answers the door with the gun.

(44:03):
I'm a boomstick.
Yeah.
These are crazy times, the two of them.
I've only seen one successfully use it.
We just didn't have to seven.
Would you join us?
I've got to use your phone.
I must reach Roger.
Dan, I think I've been confusing that lady for the grand.
Yeah, me too.

(44:26):
No, turn the light out.
It's OK.
Yeah, window lights.
Do any.
That's what I was thinking.
The what? Yeah.
Did he eat those pie?
No, he stepped us to the side.
That's what I thought.
Yeah, a couple of them did not eat the pie.

(44:47):
Some girls really will just fuck on anything, huh?
Yeah.
I mean, to tell you, Andy is not the one.
Yeah, dude, he got that girl raped.
Why is she still dealing with that guy?
I don't know, because he said he was going to leave the group.

(45:09):
He's sorry.
The damn men are going.
That's serious, huh?
I'm not sure. I'm not sure.
This must be a town in the middle of nowhere.
Well, the population was only 40, so that makes sense.
The damn men are also the law men.
I'm thinking like.

(45:31):
North, North California or like.
Can a population of 40 be considered a town?
Well, that's what I'm saying.
I don't even think it's a town like.
Listen, there's one called one almost in Kansas.
It's like 90 something people. Yeah.
It's like my stepdad was the fucking mayor for a little bit.

(45:53):
This is like fucking perfection in the tremors.
So yeah, just like three houses.
The colored boy, Rallo, you remember?
Yes. He killed poor Shelley tonight.
He stabbed him 10 times. I was there.
I saw it. Then he came after me to catch me.
They'll kill me.
Remember when you got me raped?

(46:14):
You want to fuck about it?
Yeah, I don't know what I'm going to do.
Should I report it to the Fuzz or what?
There's a sheriff of Chatham Springs.
I don't know. Did you report my rape?
And if I do, how much do I involve myself?
There's a sheriff in the town eight miles away.
We can go report it to him.
Man, you are.
Yeah, it's not working.

(46:36):
Well, so I guess in the context of being raised in a town of 40,
maybe I kind of get it.
My car is right over.
Yeah, I guess.
New day.
Come along with that flashlight.
Yeah. You know.
I don't know. That's true.
Yeah. Because this town is not that small and I've ran through this bitch.

(47:06):
Howdy hoo. Yeah.
Well, they're going to stop for that.
She doesn't have any pants on.
You ever smelled an unwashed pussy boy?
Where you heading? Valley Hills.
Give the girl a lift. Hop in the back.
There you go.
They bang in the back of that truck all the way there. No.

(47:26):
Somebody's living here. All right.
Hell, yeah.
Shit. Fuck these sound effects.
Yeah, this is.
Oh, man, come on, let's get out of here.
Messing away, Jim.

(47:47):
Get a hold of yourself. Hold it.
Look at.
But we were told to check this place out, right?
Well, I ain't doing it alone.
Headphone warning, if you thought the sound effects so far were grating, wait until you hear this.

(48:17):
Oh, yeah. Love this buzzing, dude.
Fuck it. Yeah, get louder.
I still have a few points of hearing left. Keep it coming.
Fuck, yeah.

(49:00):
I can't even focus on what's happening in this movie right now.
Bo took his headphones off.
Straight to fucking jail.
Straight to jail. Yeah. Death to them all.
I know this is terrible.
It just gets worse.
I know. Oh, my God.

(49:20):
The fucking guts that just fell out of there when he stabbed him.
Oh, a roll in the hay.
Yeah. Just what about what about hay in the pussy?
Yeah. It can't be as bad as like sand, right?

(49:41):
Nothing's as bad as sand. Yeah.
I don't think so. I hate sand.
So cool. It gets and gets everywhere.
Hey, it's got to be a little stabby, though.
So yeah.
Pokey, pokey, pussy, pussy, pussy, pokey.
They're coming in the barn.
They got to pick an accent.
Yeah, dude, I can't.

(50:02):
Yeah, I can't fucking put a finger on any of these people, man.
It's crazy.
I don't know about these damn guys.
Yeah, they're almost worse than the hippies.
Uh huh.
And the dicks, man.
You guys miss station wagons?
Yeah, dude. Yeah.

(50:23):
Love one, dude.
Yeah.
That wood grain shit.
Mm hmm.
Yeah.
Going rabbit.
She's more man but.
What the fuck was that?
I don't know, but they got to give it up with the soundboard.

(50:44):
Oh, she bit him, huh?
I love the feet slapping on the fucking floor.
That depends on the Constitution.
What?
What?
That depends on the Constitution.
Yeah.

(51:06):
I don't know.
You got to look it up in the Constitution.
This virus is bound to cause unthinkable complications.
Shit's about to get complicated.
Yeah.
Why did they wait till now to establish that she's defective?
Yeah.
We've been known.
It's not her fault. She's mute.

(51:28):
Which also means real fucking stupid.
She doesn't know any better.
Oh, yeah.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Oh, yeah.
Oh.

(51:50):
This one hell of a fucking night went.
Yeah.
It's not her fault. She's mute.
Uh-huh.
Whatever she is, she is ethereal.
Yeah.
I think she's got the alien beauty thing you were talking about last week.
She's like a fairy.

(52:14):
She kind of has similarities to the first, well, the soon to be first lady again.
Oh.
Oh, Melania.
Yeah.
I can't remember where she's from.
She's a Russian.
Russian motherfucking spy, dude.
It is Russian, huh?

(52:36):
The damn boys got rabies.
Jesus Christ.
She fucked all them boys.
This is STD at this point.
Uh-huh.
Come on, we'll be much safer down at the quarry.
Come on.
One of them had like a fucking fantasy sword.
Yeah.

(52:58):
Oh.
He just fell the fuck down.
Yeah.
Oh, is it good in the water?
Oh, yeah.
They're scared of water.
Okay, yeah.
Good thinking.
Yeah.
It's a good plan.
Oh, his moose is giving up.

(53:20):
Yeah.
Should have got that dapper Dan.
Yeah.
Snake farm?
No, thank you.
Yeah.
It's only a quarter to go in, though.
Wow, did you see the spell?
Yeah.
Honey, no.
Somebody tried their best, man.

(53:42):
We're somewhere off the beaten path.
Uh-huh.
Oh, man.
You can just open the enclosure and go in.
Those snakes are cool, man.
Yeah, they are.
They're really nice, too.
Yeah, they are.
They're really nice, too.
Yeah, hopefully he's not gonna do anything fucked up to the snake.

(54:04):
He's gonna eat that fucking snake.
Well, something's gonna go awry.
Yeah.
Speaking.
Parcel tongue.
Hey, you.
What the hell do you think you're doing?

(54:26):
Oh, wow.
Coming out in his long jaunt.
Oh, god.
You can't move like this out in nature and fucking expect me to take you seriously.
Oh, man.
He was.
What was that?
That was a.
That was a.
A jaunt?

(54:48):
A pram?
Oh, his dentures fell out.
His dentures fell out.
He's in his mouth.
And now we're gonna see a snake wearing dentures.
Wait, did he die?
What?
I don't know. That was so ridiculous.
He just fell over.
Well, elder fags known for their lack of resilience.

(55:10):
Yeah.
Once they lose the dentures.
We haven't seen him in a while, I don't think.
He's just been in the woods with his axe.
Yeah, he's.
Just prowling.
Just doing woodsman things.
Being a black creep.

(55:34):
Oh, man.
We got a.
See, how come COVID wasn't more like this?
Yeah.
What do you mean, what's wrong, bitch?
Don't you know?
You've got rabies. You're contaminated.
The whole group has it.

(55:56):
You mean like dog?
Almost exactly like that.
Yeah.
Especially considering it came from dog blood.
Help me get me to a hospital.
I'm all alone.
I thought she didn't fuck with the pie.
She ate some of hers.
And then she went to somebody else.
Why does she insist on one in that way?
I don't know.

(56:18):
I just don't know what she's got going on in her life.
You set out in the world, you think you're going to have the devil's baby.
Yeah.
Instead, you just get rabies in the woods.
So.

(56:42):
That mysterious rope.
That little rope will never hold you.
Yeah.
If this is to be a hanging.
That is a very convenient rope.
Oh, man.
But it's tied to a stake.
Tied to a wooden stake, yeah.
Poke the belly.
Yeah, do it.
Do it.

(57:10):
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Stab yourself in the stomach.
Fuck every noise that happens in this movie when something happens.
And the sound design is.
Psycho.
Psycho plays on the side.
Yeah.

(57:32):
You have to know that you have to know that you have to.
Maybe it's not so bad, like listening to it, like on your TV or something,
but in head phones.
I hate this regardless of what it's coming out of.
This is fucking.
Yeah, this like schizo alarm sound happening.
I don't know about her. Yeah.
I know it is a testament to the time.
Because.

(57:54):
Even like TV shows and stuff.
The way he looks so scared when he got to that water.
Now he's running away.
Wow, dude.
Yeah.
He looked like Dave Chappelle during the.
That's exactly what he looks like.
Tyrone Biggums. Yeah.

(58:16):
I hear she is. I wondered what had become of her.
She's got shit going on.
Yeah, she does.
It's her. She's got her little dagger.
What is this walk?

(58:41):
Oh, I think we just ran her the fuck over.
There's no by me, no, no, I wasn't being strange.
See, this is how she's like a stereotypical Chinese
mystical lady.
I expected her to do kung fu by this point.
Well, I also didn't expect her to sound like the most real person one layer.

(59:04):
Yeah. You know,
and also just for a good measure, let's throw out the meat.
Yeah, I'm not even sure I can get through.
I don't think I'm going to be eating anymore.
Yeah, dude, barring up the doors.
Yeah, but Miss Wong, don't give a fuck.

(59:26):
Yeah, she's got gas.
I was about to say it, but there's also some conflicting like
motives happening for the.
Well, here comes Nightwolf.
This movie is so garbage.

(59:47):
Die.
What?
Excuse me.
I know that was weird.
Oh, she's going to do the monk burn.
OK, OK.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(01:00:08):
And my ancestors didn't run opium dens here for the past
200 years for me to die at your hands, you hit.
Yeah, she just set herself on fire.
I'm taking the Oriental Express to hell.

(01:00:29):
This dude's still chasing them with an axe.
How wide he why was he able to run through that puddle?
That right there is a track start.
And.
Wow, it's like they just forget the other people are there.
They just want to kill each other.

(01:00:51):
Are we finally going to get the duel?
They should have just fucked ages ago.
Yeah, the fuck over with.
Sorry, all out of me, Pines.
OK, sound design has really just fucking left the chat.

(01:01:11):
That was like two different laughs happening.
Yeah, it was.
See, that's another thing.
Rapiers like stabby and I don't know, I think I'm going to act.
I'm not sure. Yeah.

(01:01:31):
Well, OK, if this guy was like using it right.
Yeah, there's that.
And both as well, I suppose you could make him keep his distance.
Yeah, you stab him.
You could definitely outreach an axe.
And things like, yeah, like fucking four feet long, dude.
He's like using it like a regular sword.

(01:01:52):
Oh, my God.
So that other lady won't open the door for them because they said,
don't trust anyone, anybody could be infected.
The damn guys are hot.
And yeah, the damn guys are coming up on the granddaughter and grandson.
Oh, dead goat.

(01:02:13):
They have their dead goat with them.
Yeah, just dragging it along. They're really blasting.
Oh, yeah, they're going through the ammo.
And we get to see every single reload, which.

(01:02:34):
Yeah, we do.
You know, unspent.
So.
I mean, all your fire. Oh, yeah.
Hold your fire after they've already shot fucking
a thousand rounds.
It's dark now, too.
Yes, and they've been shooting for a long time.

(01:02:57):
It was fucking high noon.
Just two seconds ago.
OK, Petey, boy, come on.
That's a Petey boy.
Don't be a dick to me now, man.
There we go. OK, thank you very much.
Bet you know a lot about rabies now, don't you, Petey boy?

(01:03:20):
Oh, instantly, Roger, you better get a hold of Mrs. Nash right away.
She's got to be inoculated. Right.
Yeah, she did get ate up.
It's going to be sexy.
Yeah. Oh, yeah, it is.
This is going to be sex.
Yeah, I guess.
So hot. Oh, you're also listening.
Why? Damn nightmare.

(01:03:40):
Why is this beautiful? Yeah, damn, damn.
Real hot after you've been in a gunfight, dude. Damn.
So that was I drink your blood.
What do you think about the movie?
Um.
It wasn't great.

(01:04:01):
I guess I didn't hate it.
It wasn't really gory.
Kind of like cut away from all the real gore parts.
Fucking sound was terrible, though.
So there's that.
I wish we could watch the X rated version.
I'm assuming maybe we would have seen more
the gory stuff in the X rated version.

(01:04:24):
Yeah. But I really do want to watch it now.
So I can compare like, yeah, it's different.
I know. Let's see if we can find it.
But, you know, all in all, I thought it was a pretty fun movie.
It's just, you know, easy kind of greenhouse movie.
And I really like the kind of premise of it.

(01:04:49):
Kid feeds rabbit dog blood and meat pies to a bunch of satanic hippies.
What's not to love?
Yeah. But I mean, I feel like a kid that doesn't know about rabies would do that.
A kid that says he knows all about rabies would understand

(01:05:10):
that that's a bad fucking plan.
All he knows is, you know, rabies can kill you.
And.
But it makes you crazy.
I'm pretty sure he's just going off the flyer that's hanging above his bathroom sink.
For some reason.
And so he probably did the best with the information he got.

(01:05:31):
He doesn't have all the details.
But yeah, this the sounds, the sound design during like all the kills, it was just.
I mean, I'm anything suspenseful.
I'm going to leave it in the podcast.
I mean, you're going to have to hear everything.

(01:05:51):
But I I've lost points of hearing from this movie, and maybe it sounds not as it's not as bad.
Maybe when you're watching on like a TV or something, but in head phones, I did have to take the headphones off for the.

(01:06:12):
The like.
Tornado siren type.
Yeah, that's a good one.
The siren type.
Almost like in.
Yeah, there's a scene when the freaking damn workers are walking up the stairs and there's a hangman's news.
And it's a tense moment, I guess.

(01:06:36):
And it's just this buzz and it gets louder and louder and louder.
And like you can't even focus on what's happening in the movie because your ears are just getting fucking wrecked.
I took one of my headphones off.
How many headphones you got on?
You know, I just moved one ear off.

(01:07:01):
She's one can you took off a can.
Yeah.
Well, she's not doing the cam cam.
Oh, my God.
Well, I thought it was kind of a fun movie.
It's it was fine.
It was almost exactly what I expected.
Yeah.

(01:07:22):
I everyone was a terrible actor.
Most of them, you know, which is about what I expected to.
Yeah.
So maybe Grandpa and the mute girl.
Grandpa was great.
Maybe the mute.
Hard to fuck up being a mute.

(01:07:42):
Yeah.
Your whole gig is to stand there and look pretty and you're that pretty.
A lot of dead animals in this one that I wasn't expecting.
Yeah.
A lot of dead animals.
I guess you don't really I guess you see the chicken get killed.
Yeah, we get chickens assist assist kebab of rats.

(01:08:05):
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, they fucked them rats up.
Yeah.
Go.
And then they had the goat.
They're just dragging and dragging.
Yeah.
Go.
We didn't see him kill it, but yeah, they're dragging a goat that has its throat slit.
So the animal deaths are on full display.
Maybe not to the level of our cannibal movies, but.

(01:08:27):
Yeah, we're not a cannibal Holocaust, but we're.
Uh, like cannibal genocide.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Can't.
That's where it's a genocide or a Holocaust.
So we can think you in on this.
You know, they like to decide what a genocide is.
Yeah, we'd have to.

(01:08:48):
I want to say genocide, but maybe I don't even.
I feel like it's worse.
Maybe I don't really know where a Holocaust is.
Well, we only have the one we have the one right.
Yeah.
Uh, no, yeah, I liked it except for everyone's accent was really stupid.
Yeah.
Some strange.
Changing.

(01:09:09):
Yeah, the transatlantic thing is like, uh, sort of the staple of the time, but.
Uh, they couldn't decide what they were doing.
So every time anyone said anything, it was different.
Yeah.
Probably the worst defender was when that chick was like, oh, they're coming for the born.

(01:09:31):
The born.
Yeah.
I was like, honey.
Nobody says it like that ever.
The boys.
It's pretty rough.
That was rough.
Yeah, that one was rough.
Oh, man.
Valenov for what it is.
I really liked it.
Uh, just a fun, cheesy movie.

(01:09:51):
Um, you know, I think I could.
Recommend it.
I mean, it's not, you know, hardcore by any means, but it's fun.
Uh, I would like to get my hands on the rated X version.
We didn't do a whole lot of Satanism.
No, no, it was kind of front loaded.
Wasn't it?
Yeah.
Get that one little ritual at the very beginning.

(01:10:12):
Uh huh.
And.
And then, you know, they were trying to sacrifice their friend.
Yeah.
Um.
I still don't know how Satan feels about chicken sacrifices.
Uh, Satan's just happy to be included.
I think.
Yeah.
Maybe.
Yeah.
It's so strange because like actual Satanists, it's like the like churches of Satan.

(01:10:34):
It's really not like a, it's not a violent thing.
It's more like about we are our own gods.
Let's appreciate ourselves.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Uh, modern day Satanists are all.
Pretty cool.
Yeah.
Ironically.

(01:10:54):
Yeah.
Uh.
Yeah.
If I was going to join anything, I guess it would be the Satanists.
I think so.
Cause I also think I'm a God, a golden God.
Uh.
I'm also leaning towards Hellenistic.
I'm just trying to bring back the Greek gods.
You want.
Listen, I'm all about some Greek shit.

(01:11:15):
Yeah.
Uh.
You know, I'm not going to be a Christian.
I'm not going to be a Christian.
Uh, you know.
Cover me in common.
Stick me in a temple.
There's a fucking shit ton to choose from.
And if one fucks you over, you got fucking, I don't know, 10 others that you could worship.
Yeah.
I want to, I want to do some temple of Aphrodite type activities.

(01:11:39):
I want to Jack guys off and eat grapes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They Dionysus dude.
You'll love them.
Yeah.
Party animal.
I want to wear, I want to wear flowing gowns.
Hell yeah.
I bet with my dick out.
Yeah.
Yeah, dude.
Uh, it's all I want.
All right, Lisa.

(01:11:59):
Yeah.
Give me your star rating and your what the fuck moment.
Yeah.
I was just thinking about this.
I don't have a what the fuck moment.
I can't, I can't think of a what the fuck moment.
I think my star rating is going to be three stars.
Yeah.
I think I'm going to go with three stars.

(01:12:21):
Um, my what the fuck moment.
Lisa is just a tempest in the star rating department.
I love that there's no way for me to guess.
Yeah, absolutely not at all.
Yeah.
Cause when she said I kind of liked it, I thought we were going to be in the
1.5.
So did I.

(01:12:42):
Historically.
I was going, I was going to do 2.5 and then I decided to bump it up to three.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Yeah, I think it's just a cheesy freaking movie.
Yeah, it delivers on what it is.
So I can't really like hate it.

(01:13:05):
What the fuck moment though.
That's a hard one.
My what the fuck moment is just going to have to be that horrible fucking long,
drawn out siren sound that we talked about in the scene where they're taking the guy
up to hanging by the noose where, you know, me and Bo both had to like take off our
headphones.

(01:13:25):
And cause it started out as just grading and then it actively progressed to like.
Yeah.
Active nuisance.
Louder.
And louder.
Just when you think it's the loudest, it's going to get, it gets fucking loud.
Yeah.
Audio terrorism.

(01:13:47):
Took place here.
I think Geneva should be involved.
Yeah, it was bad.
I think we should put some sanctions in place.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah.
And I think that's my biggest fucking negative on the movie is just the fucking
sounds.
Anytime, you know, like some core shit would happen.

(01:14:10):
They just fuck your ears with sounds.
But what's your star rating and what the fuck moment?
I didn't like it.
But it's like it's that type of film though.
It is what it is type of film.
So I guess I'll give it.

(01:14:30):
No, we're going to go like two stars.
Yeah, I think the sound design was just a testament to like a sort of amateur film making.
Uh huh.
I think I liked I liked the plot in theory.
It got sort of we went nonsensical real fast.

(01:14:51):
Yeah.
Which is also kind of fine for this kind of movie, but it's maybe it's not for me.
I'm not sure.
Yeah.
I don't know why rabies turns Midwestern Asian mystics into like self.
What's that called when he said he's emulating emulation?

(01:15:11):
Yeah.
I don't know why I drive some to that and others to like pack mentality.
Just brutalist endeavors.
Yeah.
Would you say that's the same thing?
Yeah.
Yeah, which like we can't really get it.
It's not that it's not that deep.
I know.

(01:15:31):
I think it was just because of that that that monk that set himself on fire.
I only know about it because of the self title Rage Against the Machine album cover.
So thanks for that.
Rage Against the Machine.
Banger Band.
This creates that by a significant amount there, right?

(01:15:51):
Yeah. See, I don't know when the actual monks set themselves on fire.
Well, so the monks, that's a that's a traditional act of.
Do it all the time.
Test.
I wouldn't say it's like on a, you know, oh, there's another monk this week.
I don't think it was like that, but it is like a traditional.

(01:16:14):
There are several accounts historically of monks using that as a form of protest.
Okay.
I didn't know they were down with gasoline.
Well, I said monks, monks have their ways, I guess.
I'm not sure.
Yeah. What what do mugs need gas for?
How did they get it?

(01:16:36):
Girl, I don't really understand the point of.
I don't understand monks.
Yeah.
That's not a thing I can relate with.
They walk.
I understand wanting to live in a mountain and be unbothered.
Yeah. Yeah.
They walk up a lot of stairs and for some reason they love goat.
Jazz, according to a Serbian film.

(01:17:00):
Yeah, but they also they also.
Have like varying degrees of like vows of chastity and.
Yeah, listen, one thing you can depend on me to do is come.
Right.
And yeah, dude, there's probably all kinds of like weird sex scandals going on up in the mountains,

(01:17:23):
dude, and we just don't know about it.
Oh, yeah, those monks are butt fucking.
Yeah, because they also take vows of silence.
They can't talk about their.
Why do they do that?
Because one guy, one guy 5000 years ago was really fucking irritated.
They figured it out.
They see what's going on in the Catholic Church and they're like, everybody shut the fuck up.

(01:17:45):
Yeah, we can't we can't they can't find out if you'll say no words.
Yeah, just walking around with hard dicks and flowing robes,
fully goat jizz and manges.
I don't know.
Not for me.
My what the fuck moment.

(01:18:08):
I like how I can make my eyebrows disappear in my glasses.
Like I have no eyebrows.
And then I do.
I can kind of.
I don't.
And then I do.
What's your what the fuck moment, Bo?
I don't even know if I like you people.
I'm pretty cool.
I don't know.
Stop it.

(01:18:29):
I don't know.
Yeah, I felt like there wasn't really a lot of choices for what the fuck moments.
I don't know.
Chris, I'm going to hit you if you don't quit.
Call him daddy when you do it.

(01:18:52):
I can't recall a single thing that happened this entire film.
Dude, what the fuck was your heart on this one, man?
There is the whole meat pie situation.
I think I was thinking about that.
And then I was like, I think you're having a harder time with meat pies than I am.
Yeah, maybe it's the Irish of it all.
I don't know.
Oh, there's also a penis pump.

(01:19:14):
What was going on with that penis pump?
Yeah, I just pulled it out.
I pulled it out for a second.
Gave it a few pumps.
Yeah, and put it in his bag.
Well, maybe that's what he was actually going out to the woods to do.
And then, you know, just found the dog.
Yeah, the opportunity struck.
Because he was going to.

(01:19:36):
Yeah, he was going to come.
He was going to come in there pies.
He said, I got something for them pies.
And then he's like, or rabies.
Yeah, because the syringe he used to get the blood was way smaller than that glass fucking vial.
And he displayed the syringe that going into the bag as well.
Have you ever seen someone use one of those?

(01:19:58):
No.
It's wild.
Does it work?
Ish.
But it's also not like, and now my penis is bigger for every situation.
No, yeah, you got like you got five minutes, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And also, depending on how big your dick is, you might need to take a nap.
You know, I have a feeling it kind of works like, you know, like those people that were

(01:20:21):
like sucking on cups to make their lips bigger.
That's what I was going to say.
I guess that blows their fucking lips out.
You can pull your fucking dick out.
Probably.
Probably.
And he got a floppy.
Imagine being hard and floppy.
Sagi Dick skin.
Nobody wants to suck a saggy day.
Yeah, I do.

(01:20:42):
I don't have a what the fuck moment.
I think we're going to I think my what the fuck moment is the very beginning
where we combine for some reason like Satanism.
I'm a Capricorn.

(01:21:04):
Esoteric Zodiacism.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't because like so this is all esoteric, but they're not all related.
And then it also never comes up again.
Yeah.
Except for maybe when the Midwest Asian princess pulls out a tarot card.
Yeah.

(01:21:24):
Which is also not necessarily related.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think the one with the beginning, we started off with a bang and then it never was mentioned
again.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The Satanism of it all was pretty weak.
Yeah.
Yeah, they might have mentioned it a couple of times.

(01:21:44):
They mentioned being sons of Satan.
They're like, oh, yeah, the Satan cramps.
Yeah.
What was that shit?
You got the devil cramps.
I don't know.
Sounds like a bad time, though.
Yeah, it was weird.
Did you?
I would like to say it angled me towards expecting a lot more nudity that didn't actually happen.

(01:22:08):
So I was disappointed.
Yeah.
Did you say two stars, Bo?
I did.
OK, I was like, I didn't write it down.
Like, I can guarantee you that the X rated version probably isn't any better, but like,
I just keep thinking like the X rated version is probably fucking crazy.
Well, I know it's not.
I know it's not the same practical effects and stuff.

(01:22:30):
And for me, that was like because they're so goofy.
Yeah.
The only thing is the worst things were like the dead animals.
Doesn't take a lot to fucking make a dead animal.
Classical school move, I guess.
Well, if you kill that goat over there, that'll fuck him up.

(01:22:52):
Yeah, you're right.
What about you, Chris?
What's your star rating and what the fuck moment?
OK, now I'm pretty sure Lisa and I have lined up at some point in our lives.
I'm going to give this one three stars.

(01:23:14):
OK.
So you have like I mean, it would be nice to know that you've agreed on something in
your lives.
Yeah.
Three children.
We don't agree on those.
You agree that that one's a huge dick.
Yeah.
Yeah, true.

(01:23:36):
I don't know.
I almost want to do three point five.
I think, you know, in the year 2025, I'm going to try to fucking start rain shit higher,
man.
I need to, you know, stop being such a hate it.
Fuck.
That's what you size feels like a dick move.
But I'm like.
I didn't love it.
You know, I don't know star ratings.

(01:23:57):
I don't know how to do them.
I think basically he's just do whatever feels right from what I've gathered.
Two stars is fucking bad.
There is no one star.
Two star is one star.
And so on and so forth.
Now, I've definitely got one star.
I mean, I was gonna say I like I like a good one star.

(01:24:21):
This one wasn't that bad.
I'm going three stars.
I lost a few points of hearing from this one.
And, you know, at this point in my life, it is kind of whatever.
But I do need to preserve what I have.
What I have to hear you at least is yapping.
Yeah.
Well, I've already tuned that out, so that's not really a big deal anymore.

(01:24:45):
My what the fuck moment is going to be when the little boy,
I'm assuming his name is Petey.
I could not fucking tell you.
And his name is Peter.
He.
Yeah.
Petey's what the fucking dick cop.
The little boy who fucking poisoned the meat pies.

(01:25:06):
He's like, yo, I don't know very much about that L word, but I do know a lot about rabies.
And then he walks to his bathroom and there is a rabies flyer sitting over his sink
that I'm assuming he reads literally every day.

(01:25:26):
And that is his rabies information.
Why does he have that over his sink?
I don't know.
Apparently a prolific thing in this area.
Yeah.
I guess from the wildlife, I'm not sure.
You can't tell me the town of 40 has like a great library.
They're like, you're going to read what you got to read.

(01:25:48):
True.
Yeah.
I mean, okay.
Usually in a bathroom above the sink is a mirror in this house.
It's a rabies flyer.
Well, was that even the bathroom though?
Because that looked like a.
Yeah.
You come in and take your boots off and clean your kill type room.
Oh shit.
Really?

(01:26:09):
I think it was the type of sink that made me feel that way because they don't really
show the rest of the room necessarily.
Yeah.
The shelf full of penis pumps and other varied accoutrement.
Yeah.
There's no telling me.
I mean, those old houses are crazy.
They got mud rooms.
Yeah.
That's mud room.
That was what I was trying to do.
Mud room.
Yeah.
Okay.
Either way, dude, why is there a rabies flyer in the mud room?

(01:26:33):
Got to have that info available.
Yeah.
Shit.
Apparently.
Damn.
Yeah.
They left out the part about meat pies on it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What can meat pies, man?
I kind of want one though.
I can make listen.
Look, meat pies, the ones I'm most familiar with are actually like Native American like

(01:26:55):
meat pies, like the ones I was describing.
I'll make us meat pies.
I make I learned how to make that type of shit from Lenora.
You take like a bomb, like a like a torta, split it open, throw some meat in there.
It's a meat pie.
Yeah.
What you do is you make like the mix.
It's usually basically just like taco meat is what it equates to.

(01:27:19):
And you can put whatever you want in that pretty much.
Okay.
Well, like when you just fry it, basically.
When you say meat pie, I mean, it's just so vague, right?
It could be anything in that pie.
Well, and there is just anything on there.
And it's like, like regionally meat pie can mean a completely fucking different experience.

(01:27:40):
If I buy into a fucking meat pie and it's like fucking to lobby or some shit.
Well, straight to jail, fish pie straight to jail.
It's a meat pie.
You can't mean a fucking pie with fish in it.
I like fish.
You give me a fucking pie with fish in it.
I'm calling the local authorities.

(01:28:01):
We're all in and up on a list.
That's a meat pie, though, right?
That does count.
Laysom, how spicy is this movie?
Well, this movie is a meat pie shot up with rabid dog blood.

(01:28:21):
Okay.
Okay.
That's what this movie is.
How would you decide?
How would you describe that flavor profile?
It's probably pretty gross.
It'd be great.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That pregnant lady didn't like it.
Those meat pies seem like they were already cooked and that kid just fucking straight
injected blood in there.

(01:28:43):
Red drops on the fucking top of one of them.
Yeah.
Like you didn't even cook the blood.
Yeah.
Because it's worth mentioning.
Think of the reddest red you've ever seen in your life.
And that's every type of blood presented in this film is the reddest red.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Classic 70s fucking red paint blood.
And garbage.

(01:29:05):
Yeah.
Bo, how spicy is this movie for you?
We're going to go like vanilla pudding, but it's like a bread pudding,
like a vanilla bread pudding with baked fish in it.
Okay.
Hell yeah.
Okay.
Cause I didn't, I didn't particularly find it spicy, but it wasn't, it didn't digest well.

(01:29:33):
What about you, Christopher?
How spicy was this film?
This film right here is a stuffed crust jalapeno pineapple pizza.
Did you guys like this Pringles?
Yeah.
Dude, I didn't eat any of them.
They're still on the counter.
I'll also say I'll bring more.

(01:29:53):
I've got more.
All that's left to do is slot this movie in on our leaderboard.
This leaderboard is where we rank our personal favorite movies that we've covered on this podcast.
So Lisa, where does I drink your blood fall in on your leaderboard?

(01:30:14):
I don't like where I have, he never dies.
I feel like that's really strange.
Right. Listen, this is something else we visited in the last podcast.
The nonsense that is your leaderboard.
Yeah.
Now I have, he never dies way too high because it should not be above August underground or a Serbian film.

(01:30:35):
I agree wholeheartedly.
I think it should go down to that's all I'm saying.
He never does this fucking great movie.
Not better than August underground.
All right.
Or a Serbian film.
Anyway, I drink your blood is going to have to go.
I think it's going to have to go in my new 16 slot under a Serbian film and above flush games.

(01:31:01):
Oh, that's wild.
Yeah.
No, I think that's exactly where mine's going.
I think.
All right, Bo, where's it going to go on your leaderboard?
Well, is it should it go above or below metal veins?

(01:31:23):
I feel like I could probably throw this on.
This is like a good time gal.
It is.
And black metal veins is like something else.
Yeah.
So I guess it's got to go above metal veins.
So yeah, 16 slot as well.
Yeah, I did.
I was just thinking I was like, this is getting desperate.

(01:31:44):
I know.
I lose the net.
Yeah, I feel the same.
Mine still looks more coherent than yours.
Yeah.
There's a couple notches where it's like, oh, it's still going to go above metal veins.
Yeah.

(01:32:06):
There's a couple notches where it's like, oh, veered left there.
But yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, my leaderboard's fucked up too, man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Ours is remarkably similar, though.
Yeah.
For the most part.
I feel like I'm fucking doing August Underground dirty right now.

(01:32:28):
Well.
Always mine.
You got mine.
Mine's significantly higher than yours.
That one fucking five stars.
Mm hmm.
It's the best found footage film I think I've seen.
Yeah.
I think it's like I think it's that's the benchmark for that.
Yeah.

(01:32:50):
For me.
Yeah, I gave her four, but it's on number 20.
I think I would watch this before I'd watch Caramel Ferox again.
So I'm going to make I drink your blood.
My new number 19.
Pretty damn good movie.
I think we could recommend it.
It's a fun fucking wacky movie.
All right, guys.

(01:33:12):
It's fucking our pick for next week's movie.
Do you guys got anything in the chamber?
It's our pick.
I thought you said we had like 60 fucking.
Yeah.
Yeah, but we're doing a recommendation and then our pick and then.
Yeah, recommendation and then our pick.
I see.

(01:33:34):
I have a movie.
Well, maybe did you want to do?
OK, I've been saying I want to do some fucking nasty, disgusting.
I want to get fucked up.
I want to do terrible meal.
Terrible meal.
Yeah.
Well, baked fish comes to mind.
Terrible meal.
Yeah, terrible meal from 1995.

(01:33:56):
Yeah.
Terrible meal from 1995.
Vomiting fetish pornography sadism.
Japan.
I think this one's going to be pretty fucking nasty.
I don't really know much about it.
Man, I've gotten so used to these underwear that like separate your balls from your penis.

(01:34:18):
But when I wear regular underwear, it's like a disaster going on down here.
Dude, you got the underwear with the little nutsack pocket.
I'm obsessed with them.
Yeah. Are they cool?
Absolutely.
Highly recommend. OK.
Now, when I wear the regular ones, because I got home and changed real quick.

(01:34:40):
I just got I just got dick on balls again, like a fucking peasant.
I don't know.
Damn. OK.
Damn. I got to try them.
Yeah, they're nice.
They're nice and like airy and snug.
And I don't feel like, you know, because every now and then your dick decides, oh, we're going to go left.
Yeah. And so no more of that.

(01:35:02):
Oh, shit.
Yeah. Highly recommend.
OK. OK.
The stick and balls all in one little pouch.
How did we live like this for so long?
I know. I don't know if I can taste those.
I don't know if I could taste those fruits, Bo, because, you know, yeah, I'm never going to be able to go back.
It's it's rough. That's what I'm saying.
I've spoiled myself and now I'm like, can't wear

(01:35:27):
regular ass fucking underwear.
It's fucking yeah, it's not great.
I don't like it.
OK. I can't find a trailer for terrible meal.
I want to get fucking wrecked.
You know what I mean? I guess go for it.
I guess you pick because, like I said, my two main picks are things that you don't want to do right now.
And my other one is called Sweet Movie.

(01:35:50):
And all the comments I read were like, this is the most fucked up movie I ever watched, you know.
But then I kind of skimmed through it today and it doesn't seem that fucked up at all.
Yeah. People say everything I ever look up on anything we've ever watched, all the comments are like, this is the most fucked up thing I ever watched.
Yeah. People say that about fucking Sallow.
Yeah, I know. That's why it's like I don't remember.

(01:36:11):
Well, Sweet Movie was included with things like Sallow.
Yeah, I mean, we'll definitely have to do it eventually.
What are some of the other movies you want to do?
That I have Sweet Movie Martyrs.
I spit on your grave and then that Liver Leaf movie that we saw on that one trailer.

(01:36:32):
Cool. It just looks pretty cool.
Yeah.
Blood on the snow always looks fucking cool.
Yeah, it does, man. It sure does.
Okay.
Next week, I think we got a fucking rough one coming, dude.
We're going to do Terrible Meal now.

(01:36:55):
I don't really know anything about this movie.
I know it's kind of like a fetish type movie.
I don't know if it's really going to have any cinematic value from what I understand.
It's really just kind of like a gross out sort of thing.
I'm going to have my barf bucket handy because I think if any movie is going to make me puke, it will probably be that one.

(01:37:19):
I'm a little bit nervous for it.
But anyway, we'll find out next week.
What the fuck are you watching?
Say bye, bitch. Bye, bitch.
Bye, bitch.
That's damn good.

(01:38:02):
Bye.