Kill List

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
You will be given a test to determine your ability to withstand shock.

(00:04):
What the fuck are you watching?
I mean what was left wasn't even a body.
The most terrifying form of evil is that which lurks within the human mind.

(00:26):
Rated X.
Welcome to What the Fuck are You Watching?
We're a weekly movie podcast exploring the disturbing, the extreme, and everything in between.
I'm Chris and this is...
Hi, my name's Lisa.
I'm what some people call a sex addict.
Lisa.
Hello.
How are you Lisa?

(00:48):
I'm good.
Great.
We're also joined by...
Bo. Oh my god.
It's Bo.
Hi Bo.
Hi.
How are you?
I'm well. How are you Chris?
Amazing.

(01:10):
Good.
Now that we're watching another movie together, I feel great.
Yeah.
Listen, I never know the right time to say that...
I really love my little clip because the first night...
The first day I met Chris, he was like, hey, I heard a song with your name in it.

(01:34):
Yeah dude.
And then he played that for me.
Yeah, that little clip goes way back.
Oh, we're old.
Yeah, we're fucking old as fuck.
Yeah.
God damn.
Oh man.
Before we get started today, I got a hell of a male day.

(01:56):
Male week here at the What the Fuck Are You Watching studios.
Now if you were on Instagram, you would have seen all this shit.
So, you know, it's on you.
Now you're just going to have to deal with me explaining it.
If you were on Instagram and looked at Chris's stories.
He posted on the stories, so make sure you're looking at the stories.

(02:16):
Yeah man, they fucking disappear.
So if you jump on Instagram expecting to see some shit like my naked body, you missed it.
Our first package comes from Black Lava Entertainment.
And what we got from Black Lava is going to be a future episode.
A little necrophilia double feature.

(02:38):
We have a necrophile passion.
Sexy cover.
Look at those nipples.
And the reason I got these, I'm sold by covers and artwork on movies.
It gets me every time. I don't even have to know what the movie is.
This little fucking piece of art right here.

(03:00):
Yeah, say less.
Exactly. Look at those two boobies squished together. It's amazing.
Look at her ass in the air.
Tongue in an eye hole.
Yeah.
Romance post-mortem.
Uncle Frank did this artwork.
Follow him on Instagram.
Uncle Frank Pro.

(03:21):
Damn fine artist.
I want to commission some porn.
Yeah.
You know, porn's going to be illegal, man.
I think I'm just going to get some hand drawn pictures.
Yeah, we need to take it back to the olden days.
I need oil paintings.
Hell yeah.
I need homemade vignettes on a projector. Sound optional.

(03:48):
And this next fucking package comes from our man Silas.
Guy did our artwork for the podcast. I ordered a bunch of movies from him.
He's selling a lot of his duplicates and stuff.
And I now have a movie collection. I now collect movies.
Don't mind the Super Mario Brothers in here. That was actually mine from the start.

(04:10):
And the Guyver.
Is that the movie?
Yeah.
But I got this fat stack right here.
Notable entries are slave dolls to red rooms.
I think that might be a good one.
Forced entry.
It says vintage porn collection on it. So I think this might be a porno.

(04:35):
Maybe. So that's cool.
Oh, you might be interested in this.
Yeah, these look cool.
This is he told me that this was the inspiration for Kill Bill.
I was just about to say it's giving kill.
Color schematics are giving kill Bill.
Yeah, I'm excited to do these because I think we all fucking love Kill Bill.

(04:56):
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, and check these out.
These are Sam Hell movies.
Love Dump and Flesh Eater X with Silas's artwork on them.
You got to flip Love Dump around.
Oh, you do be having the artwork.
Yeah, that's fucking cool.
Singapore Sling.

(05:19):
We also have a Singaporean maid employed here.
Yeah, I think employed is the wrong word.
More like enslaved.
Not only that, he sent us a bunch of fucking we got a bunch of cool shit for extra fucking awesomeness, dude.
These stickers next time you come over, I'm gonna give you some of these nice stickers that he made.

(05:44):
I put one on my water bottle at work.
The ice pick abortion.
Oh, I like that one.
Yeah.
And then some art prints.
Yeah, dude, those are so cool.
Yeah, I like that white one.
I like the black one too.
I really like the white one.
Yeah, I know.
I love them.
Hell yeah.

(06:05):
If you want the white one, I can give you the white one.
I'll keep the black one.
Yeah.
And I'll give you some of these stickers and stuff next time we come over.
No.
Yeah, so he hooked us the fuck up.
And not only did he give us all that cool shit, he gave us a storybook, a children's book that he did the.
Illustrations on.
Yeah.

(06:26):
Artie the anthropophagous.
I can't anthropopagic.
A cannibal.
It's a fancy word for a cannibal.
Yeah.
He did all the artwork in it.
It's fucking sign numbered nice.
Lisa, if you petition Lisa hard enough, she will read it to us on the podcast.

(06:49):
And the artworks sect here is a nice little bedtime story.
Now, I think I think he he was selling these on his on his web store.
I think he's like running out or is almost out or might even be out at this point.
So if you want a cool children's book and it's actually is like I think you could read this to a kid, too.

(07:15):
It's not like fucking crazy.
I think you got to only read them the Bible for like 13 years.
Then.
Yeah. My favorite part of the Bible is when like Noah like fucks his kids.
Yeah. I liked the part where like they catch him drunk or naked or something and you like fuck some.
Yeah. I also liked in Sodom where like the angels came to like deliver the news that shit was going to go down and the townspeople were trying to rape them.

(07:45):
But then old dude was like, no, here, just have my daughters instead.
Right then, dude, that is almost the one story that I think I would believe out of the Bible angels come down and everybody's.
Yeah. Yeah.
You're not going to try to fucking angel bullshit.

(08:06):
Also, there was a.
Okay. So this is just the hand. Oh, I have a formal announcement to make.
I am submitting naked photos to a psycho not on my own free will.
And he is not holding my family hostage.

(08:30):
Oh, my God.
Despite our several offers.
And that is all. Thank you very much.
Yeah.
It should be noted that Chris definitely doesn't look panicked or under duress.
He's definitely not reading a cue card at gunpoint.
Okay, moving on. Yeah. Thank God. I know. I just had so many movies to show.

(08:54):
Bo, that was a haul. Yeah, I know. That's what I'm saying. I think I collect movies now.
Shout out to Manchester. Fucking hitting it hard this week.
Oh, I'll say fuck Manchester United.
That's not that's not the lane we're in.
Okay. I'm back on track.
You just inspired something in me. I thought you were shitting on Arsenal like in front of my face.

(09:19):
I'm sorry, man. I didn't know you said I.
I didn't know you were that into.
Go, Arsenal, I guess. I don't know. I have no loyalty.
Portland, Dublin, Baltimore, Philadelphia, Fontana.

(09:43):
Shout out to our fucking Finland bros, man. Helsinki and Vanta.
They've been holding it down for a while now.
Same with our our Denmark bros, Copenhagen and Fredericksburg.
They've been on the down for a long time.
I'd like to give a shout out to the Waltham Forest.

(10:04):
That's treebeard side of the country.
He hit me up. He said, where's the hose at?
And I couldn't tell him because I don't know.
So Lord of the Rings joke for you.
Because I can't find any of the lady trees, you know?
Yeah. Yeah. Where the hell is that?
I'll never say anything unless it's worth taking a long time.

(10:33):
That's the real I can talk.
That's what I was just going to say. That was the original.
OK, you've heard of California. You've heard of Mexico.
But have you heard of Cal Lexico?
Hmm. Is that like a taco boy? No.

(10:57):
Is that Tex-Mex fusion on the go?
It's got to be right. Yeah. Cal Lexico.
Do they have drive through?
It also somehow sounds like a cat food.
And it's a depressant.

(11:18):
I'm not drinking anything.
And a special shout out to I quickie.
She lay.
Wow, Lisa, what the fuck are you watching?
Well, I guess since we spun that wheel and it shows this movie,
we're watching Kill List from 2011.

(11:42):
Oh, yeah. We hopefully it's a good movie.
We have laid hands on the wheel of Sodom.
And I already want to sodomize something, dude.
I might even suck a dick, man. I don't know.
I think these were pre-existing conditions.
I don't think you can be insured for this.
That's what I was going to say. That's just your baseline.

(12:04):
Yeah. I have been prophesized to be bisexual for weeks now.
Yeah.
Months probably. I don't know. Podcast time is a whole different animal.
This does seem to exist in a vacuum that I don't really understand the parameters of.
Yeah, dude. Yeah. So we spun the wheel of Sodom last week.

(12:26):
Those are all recommendations from our artist and friend Silas.
Follow him on Instagram. Psychonaut. Commission some artwork.
You know, they might be... You never know. They could be banned and porn.
Have him draw you some boobies or wieners.
He'll send them to you. Quick, too, man.
What if testicles were boobs?

(12:48):
There you go. He could draw it.
Yeah.
That's what evolution should have did.
Imagine breastfeeding in public then.
It's only natural, guys.
This is fine.
Mommy, your cock's in my eye.

(13:11):
For those following along at home, I think the next few listener requests are locked in and scheduled.
Our next listener requests week, I think it's got to be Hexy locks because we've had them in time out for weeks now.
We got to bring them out. I was kind of fucking around when I said we were going to put them in time out.

(13:36):
And then we did it for like nine weeks.
I'm saying M. What was that movie called? Life in the Hole.
Life in the Hole. No, they earned that time out. That was justified.
After that, we're swinging back around to James.
Then we are a new challenger approaches Slayer of Geese.

(14:01):
Do we need geese?
I'm not against them, but yeah, I've seen them fucking go crazy.
Yeah, I know they're like protected in some areas.
I don't know why, though.
I mean, I'm not mad. I consider them something of a personal nemesis.
I'm fine with their extermination, I think.
And I'd encourage everyone to contribute to that endeavor.

(14:25):
I think I'm down with the geese, man. I'm down with the geese.
I lost a fist fight with a goose when I was about seven.
Yeah, yeah. I was a small child, to be fair, and in my brain, hollow bones meant easy victory.
And it was anything but.
In defense of my sister, it was harassing her.

(14:48):
And I said, don't worry, I'll just punt this bitch.
And instead, what had happened is we both got bullied the fuck out of there.
Yeah, geese are pretty fucking big, aren't they?
All especially because I was a fucking midget.
Yeah, dude. I mean, you never know when you're walking in the fucking goose territory.
Like, no, but they sure the fuck tell you about it way too late.

(15:10):
Anyway, new challenger approaches the Slayer of Geese.
They recommended the movie right after James's week.
We're going to do the Slayer of Geese.
And I'm telling you right now, Slayer of Geese, I bought this movie just for you.
They also say that they're really interested in, you know, these kind of movies.

(15:36):
But they're too squeamish to watch them for themselves.
And you're not alone, Slayer of Geese.
You know, and that's why some people like our podcast.
That was the original intention of the spicy scale.
So we could kind of give people that are too squeamish to watch these movies kind of an idea of how spicy the movie is,

(16:05):
how hardcore it is. But it's kind of devolved from there.
It's become its own thing.
And I don't know if you could really go off of it anymore.
On a scale of one to ten, with ten being the most helpful,
how would you rate the helpfulness of having, I don't know, a dozen or so entries as different flavors of Cheetos?
Or ramen.

(16:27):
Or ramen.
That's fine. The spice scale has kind of become its own monster at this point.
There's no I didn't spend my entire life eradicating all traces of empathy just to start being helpful now.
Yeah. And then after Slayer of Geese, I think we have one more Spamula to do.

(16:48):
And then we'll probably hit the wheel of Sodom again.
Well, that's a lot.
Yeah. I told you guys last week, I think just in requests alone, we got a year of podcasts.
Oh, God. I wasn't kidding.
I know about popular.

(17:10):
Keep the requests coming. We will definitely get to them.
I have turned down a couple, though, so I guess I can't say we'll do any requests.
That's true.
We'll do almost any requests.
Yeah, just don't make it gay.
Yeah, nothing gay.
I got tricked by I think I watched the fucking gay porn or the beginning of all me by your name.

(17:34):
No, I don't know the name.
And it was this guy eating like a turkey leg in a hot tub.
And I was damn, dude, that's the fucking life right there.
You know what I mean? Oh, see, I had a different reaction to that description.
Okay. Well, he's alone in the hot tub.
And it's like, it's like, it makes it better.

(17:55):
It's got to be from a movie because it had like the grain and shit.
It looked old. It looked old. Yeah.
Okay. Yeah. And I was just kind of like, that is nice.
Okay. Yeah. And then the camera pans over and there's this other guy just walking to the hot tub and nothing but a towel.
Yeah, he doesn't have a turkey leg.
I think he's going to gobble on something else.

(18:18):
Probably. But then the video stopped.
No, no, we'll never know.
I'm real happy you shared that anecdote with us. Yeah.
I know it was a gay porn.
That's definitely gay porn for sure.
I've not seen a lot of gay porn involving a turkey leg.

(18:39):
Admittedly. Yeah.
Seems a little strange.
Eating in a hot tub.
I don't know. I don't know. I don't appreciate that.
I don't like that.
No.
It's the same energy as people who like make their little trays that go cover the breadth of their bathtub and have food in there.

(19:06):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what you're talking about. Yeah.
Similar energy. It's the bathtub's much worse if we're going straight to jail for that.
Yeah. Yeah. I'm not that clean of an eater. I'm going to drop some in the water.
Yeah. Well, it's that. And it's also just, you know, food in the bathroom.
Straight to jail.

(19:28):
Hot tub's a little bit better, especially if it's not yours.
Yeah, it's not as bad then, I guess.
Still, I'm uncomfortable. I don't appreciate this.
You know, he's getting ass blasted in that hot tub. So I mean, what's wrong with eating a turkey leg in there too?
Yeah, maybe.
Maybe.

(19:49):
I think I think hot tub sex is overrated.
Yeah, I'm sure sex is already sweaty, dude. If I'm standing in a hot tub too, man.
There's that the temperature, first of all, for me is an issue. So I'm always hot.
It's hot.
But then, yeah, and then you've got the water. There's too much water, especially if you're if you're fucking a butthole, unless it's like blown out.

(20:16):
Sometimes what does it mean better like you'd want to lube wet, but not just water.
Yeah, water, you know, water's the worst fucking lube ever. Yeah, it's not a lube. It's terrible. It's not.
So, yeah, I don't think this is great.
Tracks.
Thank God the turkey's already dead and didn't have to witness this.

(20:37):
All right. This is kill list from 2011.
Listen to requests from Silas.
Now, I'm pretty sure I'm like 90 percent sure this is the movie he told me going fucking blind to.
So I don't know if we got a M. Night Shyamalan style twist going to take place or what.

(21:01):
But just know, dear listener, that we are probably going to be spoiling this movie for you.
So if you think you might want to be you might want to watch it better do it before you listen to this podcast.
We watched the trailer last week and it looked like it almost looked like an action movie, man, like a running gun.

(21:23):
Snatch. That's probably my favorite. Never mind.
And it's a usual of aspects. Oh, yeah, that's a fucking good one. That is a good one. Damn.
Anyway, fuck. This one is directed by Ben Wheatley and written by Amy Jump and Ben Wheatley.

(21:47):
Starring Neil Maskell, Myanna Buring, Harry Simpson, Michael Smiley, Emma Fryer,
Stuart Struan, Roger and a whole lot of others. Ben Crompton.

(22:08):
I think I've seen that face before. Looks familiar.
Well, you do Ben Crompton. Yeah, you can't forget that. Oh, he's fucking Game of Thrones.
That's where he's from. Game of Thrones, boy.
Well, he's been in a fuck ton of shit. Yeah, he was Edison Toilet and Game of Thrones.

(22:29):
I think that's what they called him, right?
Or Ed, maybe maybe it was just Ed. Yeah, I scrubbed most of that show from my memory, I feel.
And I think the rest of the world did, too. Yeah.
All right. Let's see what else Ben Wheatley has done.

(22:50):
He did Meg Two in The Trench 2023. That's that big fucking shark movie.
He did a segment on the ABCs of Death, a horror anthology where every letter is a fucking way you get fucking killed or something.
He did segment you for unearth.
Shout out to our Irish bros at the Graveyard Club. They're covering the ABCs of Death. So if you're interested in that, go check them out.

(23:20):
All right, motherfucking kill list. Here's a little storyline for you.
Nearly a year after a botched job, a hitman takes a new assignment with the promise of a big payoff for three killings.
What starts off as an easy task soon unravels, sending the killer into the heart of darkness.

(23:41):
Fun fact, Shell, woman in the movie, she does a phone call in Swedish, entirely improvised by my Anna Buring.
The filmmakers had no idea what she was saying until much later.
Another fun fact for you, the rainbow featured in this movie is in fact a real one.

(24:06):
That's a difficult relationship with this fun. Yeah, rainbows are fun.
Rainbows are fun as fuck, dude. I agree.
I do like being reminded of God's promise to never wipe us out with a flood again, which is universally what a rainbow signifies.

(24:28):
All right. So you might be wondering this kill list here.
You know, I'm trying to teach my children life skills.
Maybe I could use this movie to show them how to make their own kill list.
You can't. Luckily, we got the IMDb parents guide to tell you sex and nudity has been Lisa.

(24:55):
What are you doing in your chair? I'm just moving.
Sorry. You are very far away from your microphone.
It's OK. Go ahead. I'm just listening to you. All right.
Sex and nudity has been rated moderate contains strong sex references nudity and sexualized images.

(25:16):
Some strong verbal sex references brief site of pornographic covers featuring featuring images of sexualized nudity.
A man is suggested to be a child abuser that is moderate, almost mild in my opinion.
Damn, dude. I'm trying to avoid the spoilers because I really do want to go into this one as blind as possible while still doing what we usually do.

(25:46):
You know what I mean? Violence and gore has been rated severe.
Some scenes of bizarre and brutal violence, including some brief sadistic imagery.
Several people are shot throughout the film, including uses of automatic firearms to tear through people, spraying blood and guns to shot people in the head, mostly with blood splurts spurts and more brutal gun violence.

(26:17):
Yeah, that's great. Hell, yeah.
A man has his neck and hands burnt with a cigar for information.
He has been beaten with a hammer first on his knee, then his hand and finally his head, which is shown fully on screen with graphic and brutal imagery.

(26:39):
Shocking and disturbing.
A man's head is brutally slammed into a wall multiple times.
The man throws him on the ground and you see his extremely gourd and disfigured face before he gets shot in the head two times.
Disturbing and bloody.

(27:00):
A man is subjected to argument with his wife, and they fight and swear in several scenes.
Not try to draw the line. Yeah, one of these things is not like the other.
This yapping.
Not only is he he's not engaging in an argument with the white with his wife.

(27:22):
He's subjected to argument.
Yeah, he's subjected to it. I don't know.
This feels just about right.
I don't know. Unfortunately, in my dynamic, because a lot of people think about the gay, so like, well, which one's the girl?

(27:43):
And like the notion that it's actually just two bros.
Like that escapes them.
But I think if one of us is the bitchy wife, it's got to probably be me.
I don't know, man. Like, like, I think if I had to assign gender roles in your relationship, I think Jack's the woman.
Well, in almost every sense of the word. Yeah.

(28:08):
Yeah, but on paper, you would be the woman.
Yeah, no, I would. I'm the woman.
That also makes sense to me.
I'm fucking slaving over hot. I almost cut my fucking finger off just trying to make food to keep Lisa happy.
Trying to make nachos.

(28:30):
If I don't have a hot plate on the table by the time she gets home, dude, I catch a fucking fist.
Yeah, she's known to beat men.
And I was just in such a hurry and I almost cut my fucking finger off.
Yeah. And then you still got beat.
Yeah. Yeah.
Because dinner took three more hours.

(28:52):
Yeah, it was a fucking rough time. I had to get the kids to help me.
Anyway, goddamn it.
Profanity has been rated severe around one hundred and fifteen uses of fuck and four uses of cunt.
Seven uses of shit. Two uses of bastard. Two uses of Jesus Christ.

(29:15):
Two uses of Christ and two uses of Jesus.
I'm wondering if those are the same things.
Does that not just equate to four of each?
Or it could just be Jesus Christ and they're fucking parceling them out. You know what I mean?

(29:36):
Maybe it's fucking tree beard.
Fucking dwarf book of grudges right here.
Yeah, that's wild. Who's counting words?
There's also one or two uses of piss and bugger.
You mean to tell me two things. I have two issues.

(29:59):
Yeah, you managed the 115 count.
Uh huh.
But then you couldn't track the two.
Yeah.
And also bugger.
Yeah. Yeah.
I didn't know. Yeah.
And why is it lumped in with piss? And why is it one or two after this fucking itemized receipt?

(30:24):
That's what I mean.
Of words.
Get a life. I don't understand.
If this is a hobby of yours, I say if you're going to do this, you need to take it a step further.
You need to indicate how many of these hundred and fifteen uses of a singular slur were used in a pejorative sense.
Present tense. I need to know the informing like adjectives and adverbs involved.

(30:48):
I need to know the nitty gritty.
Yeah. Yeah.
So big or get the fuck out.
Yeah, I think they got to piss and bugger and we're like, fuck, man, I can't remember if it was one or two.
And I really don't want to watch this movie again because I've already watched it three times trying to fucking get the fucks and the cunts.
You just go through with a little tally mark. You can make a list of words to the little tick.

(31:13):
I mean, unless you're fortunate enough to have like a script or something.
I don't even know if you can go off the script. What if they add what if they ad libbed a bugger?
You know what I mean? Surely any buggers are ad libbed.
If you're writing a bugger into your script and it's not a period piece from seventeen hundred England, what the fuck are you doing?

(31:37):
Alcohol, drugs and smoking has been rated moderate, contains drug use and scenes of smoking.
Both main characters drink at some points and one smoke cigarettes.
Oh, no. A man smokes a spliff in his garage.
Spliff.

(31:59):
When's the last time someone asked you for a spliff?
Has anyone in real life ever asked you for a spliff?
No. No.
I think it might be a regional thing, maybe. I don't know. I don't know, though.
It feels like in an FBI, like at a lecture for like FBI school, they're like, oh, you'll come across words like spliff.

(32:25):
I don't know.
Or like a undercover agent trying to fucking bust somebody.
Hey, kids, fellow youths, you got any smack or spliffs?
Yeah, I would like to purchase three spliffs.
All right. Frightening and intense scenes has been rated severe.

(32:47):
The tone of the film is dark, disturbing, intense and very violent.
Stop fucking with that table, Lisa. It depicts a violent man.
Not a moral.
Hey, Lisa, I hear you like I'm young.

(33:08):
That's not ever going to sell black.
This is Kill This from 2011.
Watch this movie.
Yeah.
K Film Council.
It is all gone.
Well, how can it possibly be fucking gone? There was 40 grand in there.

(33:32):
Yeah, eight months ago.
Sounds like Snatch.
Baby.
He's being subjected to these arguments.
It doesn't make sense.
God damn.
I haven't worked a single day for eight months.
I'm also subjected to a beating.
100% attack, 0% damage.

(33:54):
Yeah.
Tighten the money for the jacuzzi at the holiday.
Can't have it out of action from my back.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
What the fuck?
There is no fucking holiday money and there is nothing wrong with your back.
It's all in your fucking head.
What a bitch.

(34:17):
I'm going to kill her.
Fuck.
Fucking.
He just wants to hop in the jacuzzi with a turkey leg, dude.
I'm telling you, it's the thing to do.

(34:41):
I don't know about a turkey leg.
It's just a very, very expensive thing.
It's a very cheap thing.
It's very cheap.
I don't know if you see freaking bird meat, man.
There's something about it.
Maybe.
I know I've enjoyed turkey legs in my life.
I don't.

(35:03):
I think it's been a long time though.
And I can't say that.
I'm like, Hmm.
I'd love.
Yeah.
I'm not a wine.
And almost intensifies the buds.
Now, do it in a hot tub.
Deal.

(35:24):
Press melt away.
I'm going to slap your back.
Don't shave either.

(35:45):
Yeah.
Honey.
No.
I'm going to do this argument with Lisa.
Every time I go to the store.
Where's the toilet paper?
You just bought beer.

(36:07):
You spent $200 and bought nothing.
You were supposed to buy.
I'd like to know.
There is a stranger.
In toilet paper roll form in my restroom.
Currently.
Even though I keep a basket full of good toilet paper.

(36:28):
And I'm.
You know, I'm not a picky eater.
I'm not a like fussy person, but like toilet paper.
If we have good toilet paper that I know to like, we all like.
Yeah.
Why would you put up this.
Dollar store stranger toilet paper.
Yeah.

(36:49):
What are you doing?
I don't know, man.
I definitely don't get the cheapest toilet paper.
But I do kind of lean on the moderate cheaper side.
Because I'm just shitting on it.
Well, I get that.

(37:10):
I think it's cotton.
Oh, yeah.
So it's not like expensive, but it's not the cheaper.
It's somewhere in the median.
It's like 10 bucks for 12 rolls.
Maybe.
Oh, I can tell you from the sinkhole that he's got no balls or.
No balls are dead.
Yeah.

(37:32):
So.
It's funny because he doesn't.
So.
There's your balls.
Has your wife taken them from you?

(37:54):
No, it's fucking crazy, man, because like.
Where are they?
How do you have negative balls?
I mean, usually, you know, it's going to fucking get cut one way or another, one leg or another when you're sitting like that.
Uh huh.

(38:16):
There's literally nothing there.
What had happened?
Unless it's like in his ass right now.
Maybe. Oh, is he just pervert act?
Those people are among us.
I don't think it is because of those pants are really in.
The crack.
What's going on?

(38:37):
Once he's too brave and honorable soldier.
Oh, no, I hope that sword to the stomach's not foreshadowing.
Yeah.
Mommy's a fucking menace, dude.
You should fucking mind your own business.

(38:59):
I can't just call you lady.
I'm me.
Do it, Daddy.
Killer.
Yeah, bro.

(39:21):
You got it.
You got to get away from these people.
Hi.
That was a weird guy is fucking.
Not the knickers.

(39:42):
I know you're in danger of getting your knickers ripped off later.
Big girl.
Big girl.
Big girl.
Big knickers.
Not eating anything red.
Not eating anything red.

(40:03):
Yeah.
What about the diet?
No, but.
No red.
Somebody fucking clarify the chain of command there.
Who's wagging the dog?
I had my testes formally removed from me.
Yeah.
He's the last cleared that up.
We are done.

(40:24):
Bon appétit.
Tuck in everyone.
The blandest looking food I've ever seen.
Listen, this country as a whole, ironically has some of the best Indian food and Chinese food on the planet.
They're native dishes straight to jail.
And there was the whole like conquest for like spices and whatnot.

(40:48):
And not an ounce of it was used in the cooking.
So what sort of, do you just sell anything?
Do you sell your balls?
No, it's mainly sort of IT stuff.
It's commercial sales.
Almost a spit take there, man, because like we should have seen these balls.

(41:14):
I agree.
I'm disturbed by the lack of balls.
It's not like.
It really looks like a slit all the way up.
It did.
I gotta put that in the screenshot.
Whatever the fuck is cool.

(41:39):
That lady's face is alarming.
She's an.
She's strange to behold.
Just like a you'd see your face on like a totem pole, I think.
Yeah, like shrunken head.
Carved out of wood.
I don't know.

(42:00):
It's meant to be in the fields.
Playing blind man.
No time.
Extraneous.
The Nazis.
Here we go talking about the Nazis again.
We're just trying to have dinner, man.

(42:23):
I'll finish.
That's a fucking magic trick, dude.
Damn.
Yeah, man.
I thought it was cool enough that he just flipped his plate upside down before he left.
And then he just rips the tablecloth off.

(42:48):
That's great.
I want to try it.
And the other man's putting his kid back to bed.
Yeah, he's fucking that lady, dude.
Yeah, it's probably his fucking.
Probably.
Don't you ever drink to hear me promise?

(43:09):
Don't you have a drink?
He says not even water.
No, don't drink water.
The government puts stuff in it.
Just drink your balls.
Look at your daddy.
Okay.
Did you get out of my bedroom?
Who are you?

(43:31):
Do you know I'm nine years old?
I knew how to do this.
Cat eating the lamb.
Yeah.
Cat's having a good time.
Where do you get those little chef hat looking things that fit on the bone pieces, man?
I've never seen them before.
I've only seen them in movies.

(43:54):
I must have missed it.
Here we are.
I wish they would have done this man the service of not having him sit this way.
Yeah.
He was emasculated enough throughout this film.
At least the jeans are.
They're a little better.

(44:15):
A little better.
Not as tight.
I'm thinking this might be the spliff smoking.
Dang, they imported some Budweiser.
They also have a gun.
G36.
Played Call of Duty.

(44:41):
Yeah, yeah.
I know.
This man was eight months ago.
You gotta go back and horse again.
You know what I mean?
It should be easier now that you've got new balls.
This friend guy has a face that you cannot trust.
I don't trust the thing he fucking says to me, dude.
Yeah, he's a sort of slimy character.

(45:05):
Yeah.
Is that a real human?
I don't know.

(45:26):
Those two are made for each other, man.
They got just wild looks.
This is what we should do at game nights, guys.
Slow dance.
Slow dance.
You can slow dance with Jack.

(45:52):
That's a weird thing to do.
Yeah.
Stick the mirror off the wall and carve the symbol into the back of it.
Is this a Rhino plastic on wrong?
Is that what happened to her?
Oh, maybe.
No, you might be right.
Because her profile, she's just the flattest face.

(46:13):
I don't know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Very large eyes, too.
Stuff in her bra.
I've seen this.
She picked up the toilet paper.
It was bloody and then she stuffed it in her bra.
Or later.
This woman carved a symbol into the back of whatever the...

(46:36):
I can't remember any of these names.
Oh, yeah.
I don't even try with the names.
Carved a symbol in the back of their bathroom mirror.
Yeah.
Yeah, an odd thing to do.
I've seen the same thing happen in Hotline Miami.
Great game.
Not in the bathroom mirror.

(46:57):
They usually leave it right on the front door.
I was supposed to say, is where you can see.
On that fucking door in the market house.
Yeah.
Hotline Miami 2 is pretty fucking good, too.
But you get shot off the fucking screen a lot.
Yeah.

(47:18):
The first one's a little bit more contained.
Let's see what's going on a little bit better.
But Hotline Miami 2 does have an expanded story.
It's a lot bigger.
It's a lot bigger game.
Both are great.
So he's just sitting in this empty hot tub.

(47:43):
Drinking a beer.
Yeah, that's no problem.
What?
Why is it?
Because now you can.
You guys just shout.

(48:04):
No.
I've never once shouted.
This is insane.
Just like screaming.
Yeah, he's in the backyard.
She's in the kitchen.
I've never heard her come there.
Yeah, it's crazy.
It's an off-the-wall.
Not an insult.
No, she's taking the piss.
She's a cat.
Can't take the piss.

(48:26):
Oh, no, Jay.
Ew.
What?
OK, Jay.
What the fuck?
Bro.
And how do you know what it is by licking that?
This is a hobby of his, evidently.
That was a pile of entrails.
Yeah, and he said, oh, let me taste it.
Definitely rabbit.
I want to cook it up.

(48:47):
Wow, Jay.
No wonder your wife's giving you shit all the time.
I'm starting to take her side after you did this little shenanigan.
That is showing off.
It's you two.
Is it in a rabbit?
From the cat.
He has to do it outside there so when he starts explosive shitting himself, it's contained to the external of the house.

(49:12):
He's eating it in the middle of the backyard because he's trying to prove to the cat that they have enough food.
OK, Jay's a little fucking crazy.
What's that on that man's feet?
Is that a pillow duct tape?
That's what it looks like.

(49:34):
I don't know for sure what it was.
He's not a shoe.
He's going through some stuff, you know.
Those padded booties so you don't get bed sores.

(49:57):
Nice little family life situation, you know.
And for those listening, that's pretty much how all of our game nights play out.
Pretty much.
Guts in the backyard and everything.
Yeah.
Woke up this morning with a dear John tipped him a cock.

(50:22):
I leave all my goodbye notes taped to a cock.
Woke up with a dear John note taped to his cock.
That's something right there.
I don't even think I could be mad.
Yeah, it's my preference to wake up alone anyway.
So is it the spice girls?

(50:43):
Oh, man, that's that real rainbow.
That is a real rainbow.
Yeah, you can tell.
Could you imagine if they did like a CGI fucking rainbow right here?
I don't know, are they doing their like mission they were talking about in the garage?
Joe Biden.
There's Joe Biden.

(51:04):
Sleepy Joe Biden.
Mr. President, are you lost?
That's fucking Joe Biden.
It really is.
You come with the recommendation.
Well, good.
Necessary.
OK.

(51:25):
Palm cutting.
Damn, dude, what the fuck happened to?
Hello.
How are you?
Cut each other's fucking palms.
They're going to sign their names and fucking blood and shit for this mission.
I hear Kiev was stormy.
I'm in the process of rewriting it.
Good.
Blow on it.
It's important to learn from one's mistakes.

(51:47):
I was fine.
Then explain your eyebrows.
They were like wavy.
Yeah.
Fucking old people, man.
Yeah, we should put them down.
Just let you know that he knows.
Yeah, that's not going to stop.

(52:08):
You got to put some pressure on them, man.
Yeah, I'm going to keep bleeding.
Is that your wanking hand?
Hell yeah.
Every time.
One of each.
Yeah, there is somebody cut me on my wanking hand, dude.
I'd be fucking pissed.
Yeah.
I don't know, man, if I'm about to do like some contract shit, man.

(52:31):
I want my hands.
You're going to need both hands.
I feel this way in every cinematic experience I've ever dealt with or encountered in my life.
We're about to go to like open a lock that's open with blood.
Everyone always chops the fucking palms up.
You're about to you're about to engage in physical activity.
Yeah.
And that wound is never going to close, dude.

(52:53):
No.
Cut my arm.
Cut my arm piece up.
My forearm.
And, you know, I always assume if we're cutting fucking palms open, this is some ritual shit.
So I'm not in anymore.
I thought we were just killing some brown people.

(53:14):
OK.
Yeah.
So he's going off on a trip, a business trip.
I guess.
He's going to get fucking sacrificed.

(53:38):
Beaselbud.
You're on business crackers, excuse me, nobody caring.

(54:04):
UK had the chip reader on their cards.
Well, before we did, we got to see that here in 2011.
Little business transaction.
Fun fact for you.
You're right, Chris.
That fact was fun.

(54:25):
Yeah.
Almost as good as the real rainbow used in this movie.
Yeah.
Also a delight, a sheer delight.
A lot of ominous music.
Yeah.
Almost like weird alien music to like X-Files music or something, you know.
So what do you reckon?

(54:47):
Do the usual follows kind of run.
See what he gets up to here.
What do it properly?
I'm not just mowing down.
I reckon you're too old for these hair flips.
You did the emo fucking hair blue.
Yeah, you did.
You got a dog to shoot the dog to.
I don't know, man.
I kept my top piece pretty long.

(55:08):
So like if I still had hair, I'd probably be accidentally doing the fucking hair flip, you know.
So maybe it's for the best.
I bought Jack for it pretty incessantly.
Yeah, Jack has a ridiculous amount of hair, though.
He's a hairy bitch.

(55:30):
Keeps it very well maintained, though.
I bought him special shampoo and conditioner when he moved in.
And now he's obsessed with it.
Yeah.
For his curly hair.
Yeah.
Well, if I can do him now, no one will blame you.

(55:53):
He's not even playing chords.
Oh, he is. It's just a very out of tune guitar.
Yeah, something's going on there.
All of them should be put to death.
Yeah, just stick to Wonderwall, man.

(56:15):
Thank you.
If you. Yeah.
This is how you deserve to be treated.
Sometimes God's love can be hard to swallow.
You know what's not hard to swallow?
My cock, because it's not there.
I'm all good.
I'm all good.
I'm not in restaurants.

(56:38):
I have some fucking decency.
You're so many places in a very isolated location
where no one's likely to be for about a fucking hundred years.
OK, just trying to get laid, Brit.
I mean, seriously, though, and also if you're bad at it, wait even longer.

(56:59):
I'm very sorry about my friend.
Please accept my most humble apologies.
At least wait till everybody's drunk first before you bust the guitar out, dude.
Double orange juices all around.
This soundtrack is absolutely insane.
Yeah, it's getting wild.
It's getting bad. It's getting bad.

(57:22):
Feel like I'm being soared by bees.
Oh, yeah, that was for what?
What purpose did that serve?
Fucking pretty brilliant.
You need to wear this one, girl.
At least it's not a toddler.
Yeah, this is the devil's work.
I don't know.
Yeah, you're right.

(57:46):
The priest.
The priest.
OK.
At least I need you to be explaining this movie.
You're the explainer.
I can't do it.
Yeah.
I just, you know, my allergies have been killing me for days.
I took Benadryl and I think it made me tired.

(58:08):
Yeah, you're falling asleep over there.
I just can't do any of this.
You need to explain the movie.
Well, um, are the two middle aged bros are apparently contract killers and they are.
Getting ready to kill the priest.
Yeah, in the middle of fucking service, apparently.

(58:31):
This is the thing about Catholics that we've always got some.
It's always service time.
Listen, there's never a dull moment.
Yeah.
Especially for the little boys.
You know, for contract killers, I think, you know, they've been doing pretty well so far.
They, you know, cleaned all their weapons before the killing using Q tips.

(58:58):
It looked like he was scratching the serial numbers off.
Yeah.
We're breaking in and then putting gloves on, which is a suspicious order of business.
Right.
But they made a.
They deliberately use a napkin to open the door.
Oh, did they when they had gloves the whole time?

(59:21):
Hey, you know.
Yeah, everybody's got a plan until you get punched in the mouth.
Just blow the candles out.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
That's cooler to pinch them out.
Is it?
Yeah, it is.
It is.
Dude, blowing stuff is gay.
You might be right.

(59:43):
He's already got the collar on now.
He doesn't do the blowing, though.
Yeah, that's true.
He gets blowed upon.
Thank you.
So we found the priest in the back.
We waited until service was over or he was isolated and alone.
Yeah.
Sounds pistol shot.

(01:00:04):
This basically hit man, silent assassin.
What we're doing here.
When he told him to turn around, he said, thank you.
Which is weird.
That's a weird thing to say to the guy to kill you.
Yeah.
Maybe he knew he deserved it.
Yeah.
He was like, thank God I can finally stop raping these little boys.

(01:00:28):
Well, they're also confused by.
They are incinerating his corpse.
Yeah, you ran in front of me.
What the fuck?
Yeah, mate.

(01:00:53):
His wife knows about the contract killings.
Yeah.
They probably shouldn't be talking about this.
Yeah, she's about to get fucked right now.
I got a gold man.
Sam's calling.

(01:01:14):
I don't know who the fuck Sam is, to be honest with you.
Could be the kid could be her boyfriend.
Yeah, they're just kind of Sam's.
I could I think it said Fiona's here with a gift for Sam and I think
Fiona's the scarecrow girl.
Yeah.
And we've established they just kind of yell at each other from across the
house.

(01:01:35):
So when she says Sam is calling, you could just be screaming for her.
My guess would be just shout.
Yeah, I think this is a very shoddy bunch.
I would have an alpha Romero, I would have a conduct killings in, but I guess
it's inconspicuous, comparable to a Chevy Spark.

(01:02:01):
Maybe not.
Maybe it's cooler than Chevy Spark.
It's got to be bigger than a spark.
Sarah and I had a fucking spark for a while.
That thing was.
It's a cool tall.
Why is that what we had?
I don't know.
Well, I hope so.

(01:02:24):
I hope so.
Details.
Put it this way.
I had to shave my pubes afterwards.
That doesn't help at all.
What the fuck is happening?
I can't fucking do anything.
So I think they're all the crowds.

(01:02:45):
That's got to be it.
That's the only reason.
That's the only reason.
Yeah, that was a weird thing to say.
So I think they're on to the next target.
Yeah, they have any useful information.
Bit of a demon in the sack.
They have a list of people they have to kill, I guess.

(01:03:08):
Well, yeah, their job consists of three killings.
They dispatched up the priest quickly.
And I think they're on to the next one.
They've been staking out the location,
talking about a woman giving that dude crabs.
Now I think they're making their move.
Making their way downtown,
walking fast because there's no balls to provide resistance.

(01:03:32):
Do do do do do do.
They're going to the warehouse.
We didn't have a big white title card for this victim.
It's a wank then.
There's this porno we heard about.
What?

(01:04:13):
Is this Slattered Vomit Dolls?
Yeah, I don't know.
The librarian.
Well, they didn't like it, whatever it was.
Yeah.
They're being much more aggressive with people.
Sound like a pterodactyl or something.
Yeah.

(01:04:40):
Seeing you fucking that mogwai.
Mogwai's really...
What's a mogwai?
A gremlin.
Oh shit, yeah.
God damn it.
I guess it still works.
They screamed.
Kind of like a muskrat.

(01:05:02):
It screamed like that, yeah.
Don't fuck him after midnight.
Putting something in his butt right now.
He was burning him.

(01:05:29):
What does that mean?
You have a very discomforting presence.

(01:05:51):
Wow, that was weird.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
I'm intrigued.
Wow, they're beating that dude's fucking knees in.
Yeah, bashing his freaking knee with a hammer.
Now it's hands.
He just keeps saying hands.
Yeah.
Thank you.
So hard.

(01:06:14):
Good God.
Bash this fucking skull in and you've seen all the bits fly out.
Yeah.
Oh fuck.
That was wild.
Craziest thing we've seen so far for sure.
You can just fucking mess up yourself, you know that?
Yeah, I think our boy Sal...

(01:06:36):
What's your fucking name?
Tommy.
Al Caddo.
Got a little wild.
He got a little out of control.
I can't remember this guy's name either, but a crazy face guy is, you know, having reservations
about his friend Tommy or Sal.

(01:06:58):
Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Sal fucking went insane at the librarian's house.
Beat him with a hammer to death.
He went what was described as well off list.
Yeah, well off list.
Yeah, I know exactly what that means.

(01:07:21):
And
before they beat that librarian dude's brains in, they got an address.
I think they might be at this address.
Now Tommy and or Sal went to...
He went in alone.
This might be where he goes off list.

(01:07:46):
Or I guess he's well off list at this point.
And a crazy face is gonna go in here.
I don't like this fucking sound that's happening.
Yeah.
Dead dog.
Yeah.
Thank God.
Fortunately, not a real dead dog.

(01:08:10):
So there is that.
I think we have to make that clarification.
A man's hair is too small for his head.
He almost looks like an exaggerated version of the fucking Sal Goodman.
Bob Odenkirk.

(01:08:33):
Yeah, like a little inflated.
A little stretched out or something.
So Sal fucking murdered the dog and some dude.
I don't even know if that was the target.
I don't think the dog was the target.
So we're just kind of following the trail.
We're beating something.
Yeah.

(01:08:57):
Yep.
Fashion some fun.
Oh wow.
That's 20 minutes.
Let's get the fuck out of here.
Is that 20 minutes?
She's.

(01:09:19):
Fucking brilliant.
I think I'm a here when we removed his testicles, we also removed a bit of self-restraint.
OK.
I guess I was going to say, you know, they're supposed to murder these people.

(01:09:42):
So so what if he bashes their brains on the wall?
Better than than his bitch wife.
He's just taking aggression out at this point, man.
Everybody's up outlet for their anger.
He's had an empty hot tub for months.

(01:10:08):
They're burning these corpses out in the desert.
I didn't know the UK had deserts or if this even is a desert, I probably just might not.
And they don't.
Yeah, they were bad people. They should suffer.
Now, I don't know what that dog did.
All right.
I used to love looking at fires when I was a kid.

(01:10:31):
Oh, yeah.
My favorite thing to do, just staring at fires.
You know, you were fucking weird.
Fires are pretty cool, I guess you can get lost in them.
When they start telling you things, that's when you need to be worried.
I don't know.

(01:10:53):
Moses seemed pretty convinced.
He sees a waving lady off in the distance and he waves back.
Yeah, waving lady.
That's fucking Fiona.
Yeah.
Looking better somehow.
No.

(01:11:14):
And there definitely is rhinoplasty.
Yeah.
I guess she looked better in the sense that it was darker.
Maybe. Maybe.

(01:11:36):
Hi, babe. I wasn't expecting you back.
Hi, Jay. You're back.
What does that mean?
What? They fucked each other?
Yeah, I should get me.
What does a moan mean?
I don't know.
Oh, no, don't be silly. You went first.

(01:12:00):
Oh, that means they were bitching, huh?
My guess.
Women.
Yeah.
Good show.
Tommy, you're fucked up.
You're unwell.
Jesus.
Got the shingles.
That's something, man.

(01:12:24):
Oh, yeah. That fucking Joe Biden guy cut my hand.
I'll get some cream.
Yeah, some cream.
Yeah, just get some cream.
That'll be fine.
Yes.
Why do you think that is? Any particular reason?

(01:12:45):
Professionally, some financial stuff.
Oh, and have no testicles.
Yeah.
Now, what about your sex life? How's that?
Also bad, given the no testicles.
My wife said I had to come so you could look at my hand.
You're fine.
Impotence does drive a lot of dudes crazy, man.

(01:13:08):
Oh, for sure. I'd imagine so.
There's a large contingency of serial killers that have dick problems.
What happened to Dr. Batkin?
If the ads I get on things are to be of any indication,
there must be a lot of dickless men out there, too.
Yeah.
Not in the trans way either.

(01:13:31):
I don't know what's going on.
Apparently, a lot of dudes can't get hard, though.
Yeah.
Well, you know, Sal's back from the hospital
and he's taking pills and drinking whiskey
while this kid fucking throws dice and shit.
Now, fucking, uh, better call Saul.
He's looking at pictures.

(01:13:52):
Pictures of them taking pictures.
So not great.
I also also seen that symbol that the Fiona bitch
carved on that dude's bathroom mirror.
Yeah, I think Fiona's also leaving dead animals strung up at their.

(01:14:13):
That's their cat in it.
Kids, maybe.
Our gypsies.
You like bags?
I told you this is a snatch.
Someone's murdered the cat.
I fucking love that cat.
Come in. Someone's murdered the cat.
Yeah, you're getting hotline Miami, dude.

(01:14:34):
I never did I to that.
I'm telling you right now.
Yeah.
What's the message, isn't it?
Yeah, receive loud and clear.
There's pictures of us outside the priest's house, Jay.
They've got a file on fucking Kiev.
Where the fuck did they get that from?
So fucking what?
Your ass hole's gone, mate.
Listen, man.
What?

(01:14:56):
If you're going to be fucking over the top every time you get a fucking copper in your hand.
I've never heard that before in my life.
I'm really sorry, mate. I'm so sorry.
Listen, man. You're going in there like a fucking psycho on crack.
What the fuck's going on?
Wait until you see me after this fucking shit.
Brilliant.
I'm not going to bury my fucking cat and you can fuck off out of my gaff.

(01:15:18):
Beginning the movie, I thought the wife was a bitch at this point, man.
I think I'm on the wife's side.
I don't I don't think I'm on anybody's side here.
I'm not.
I think the wife's a bitch.
Yeah, I think he's a bitch.
I think this kid's a piece of shit.
I think better call Saul's a bitch.

(01:15:40):
Yeah, it is a creature of the night.
Yeah, I don't trust you for a second, dude.
Better call Saul. I don't know.
I don't know about him yet, man.
I think he might be the only like he might be the best bet.
I think so, too.
Everyone else in here is a fucking rat man.

(01:16:02):
Yeah.
If I judge a book by its cover, I'm not trusting better call Saul.
But so far, I mean, he seems like the only fucking normal one here.
Yeah.
Good. He's gone soft.
Wake up. You wake up.
Fucking wake up.

(01:16:23):
I'm awake.
Wow.
I think she's lost her asshole, too.
Yeah, I think we're a bunch of assless.
See, these types of relationships are not my vibe.
I don't know.
Yeah, I'd like to know what she's got to do with the secret mission.

(01:16:45):
Yeah.
Fucking Joe Biden.
Thanks for infecting me with your fucking palm knife, bitch.
Yeah.
Fuck you very much and good night.
And you die.
And your families, they die.
I don't fucking like them anyway.
They want out, but Joe Biden's telling you, you're in too deep.

(01:17:08):
Uh-huh.
It's how his wife's leaving him.
She's very concerned about the mission
and the compromisation of the mission.
She's lost her asshole, basically.
He's lost his ass, mate.
Is that more acceptable than a priest?

(01:17:31):
I can't say I'm not relieved.
I'd take out an MP, fuck them.
Yeah.
That's all that matters.
It's one thing to join the military or whatever.
But to join the military...
And to be the military cop.
I don't really understand why you're calling him that.
He's the doucheiest douche of all douche.

(01:17:52):
Yeah, for real, dude.
No, you shouldn't fucking treat your wife like a doormat.
She's a lovely wee woman.
All your relationships have been so very successful, gal.
So thanks very much for your advice, you cunt.
Oh, what the fuck is that?
Fucking...

(01:18:13):
Wait.
Not in the face.
Saul and Saller have a...
Tiff.
Saul just smacked him like his wife does.

(01:18:38):
I'm telling Shell you've started it.
She thinks I'm a saint.
You're really trying to glue that plate together or something?
I don't know what the fuck you're doing.
I can't get that feeling out of my head, you know?
Really?
Yeah, he can't either, dude.
Don't really know her, gal.
I saw her in the field the other day.

(01:19:00):
These things happen like that sometimes.
She gaffer-toped your cock.
I'm putting that down as neurotic cry for help.
Dad, dude, I'd never forget if somebody taped a note to my dick, dude.
I can't remember what I was like before, Shell.
I periodically change the background of Jack's iPad to pictures of my dick.

(01:19:21):
Show this to someone for everyone, man.
It's basically the same thing.
Yeah.
Right, let's go and kill this MP, then.
It's still wild that they're drinking Budweiser.

(01:19:44):
It is strange, yeah?
Yeah, dude.
I don't know, I guess it's like no different than us drinking like Ionicon or something.
Well, it's strange for a couple reasons.
One, it's a film.
I don't know.
It's strange.
Just get the cheapest beer you can find, right?

(01:20:05):
Or, I don't know.
And I don't think that'd be Budweiser in this scenario.
I'm assuming it's, you know, more expensive like our imports are.
I would think so.
It is good.
I don't think I've ever had Budweiser in a different country, though.
No, don't get fresh out of it.
Me either.

(01:20:26):
I would assume it'd be the same.
Maybe it's just because like we're like Americans, so we're like, yeah, fuck Budweiser, but I don't know.
Maybe other countries are like, hell yeah, Budweiser.
I don't know, but in other, like I meet, especially in Europe, I'm drinking like 14 point something.
And they're always like, yeah, fucking American beers like piss or something like that, you know?

(01:20:49):
I don't know.
Maybe the Budweiser there is stronger, too.
I don't know.
Yeah, I don't know, man.
Canundrum.
Rabbits.
Yeah, that guy loves rabbits.
We were going to establish that.
They're going to have a cup of tea.
They're going to have a cup of tea and some rabbits around the campfire.
Some hunting rabbits.

(01:21:11):
Don't give him any ideas, man.
That guy's wild.
He's lost his asshole.
Oh, Mr. Bunny, it's going to get cold.
You're taking your coat off your back.
Mr. Bunny, what do you think?

(01:21:34):
I love it when this guy sings.
Yeah, he's got some strange things to say.
Looks like real rabbits, by the way.
Yeah, he did, didn't they?
Fuck rabbits, though.
I don't know.
They're not an endangered species by any means.

(01:21:56):
Some rabbits are fucking scary, dude.
Well, like the jackrabbit.
The jackrabbit.
Fuck them.
Good use of a red light in this scenario.
Doesn't travel as far as white light.

(01:22:18):
I'm really sorry about that stuff.
Yeah, I know.
You mean the coffee mug to the back of my head.
I'm missing you.

(01:22:41):
I think it's time you lost your asshole.
Yeah, I'm going to find it for you.
Ptooey.
Ptooey.
No, what would the kids say?
Yeah, I know, man.
We basically created another hock to it.
I didn't mean to, but I think I like to be better.

(01:23:03):
Oh, I prefer Ptooey.
This far less cryptos games going on.
They see fucking Fiona out here in the woods.
I can.
Lively.
Land rally.
Yeah.

(01:23:25):
I can.
Witch convent.
I'm telling you, dude, if this is some demon shit, I would like to say I called it right when they slit that dude's fucking palm open.
Well, it's definitely demon shit.
There's like fucking.
Symbols getting carved into the back of mirrors and oh, yeah, yeah, animals get sacrificed.

(01:23:54):
I just want to know what he did in Kiev.
Yeah, for real.
I don't care about none of this fucking demon shit.
All right, so.
We're in the woods doing witch shit.
I like how that person was just wearing a nice cardigan and then had this weird ass mask on.

(01:24:19):
We got boob out.
Bitches with boobs out.
Yeah.
A whole fucking gang of them.
Yeah, it's a gaggle.
I don't think they have clan rallies in the UK, so I don't know.
I don't know anymore.

(01:24:42):
That man just scotch taped hay to his face.
Yeah.
Highly flammable.
These masks.
That's what I was just thinking, man.
Why are they playing with fire wearing fucking hay masks?
Torches.
Oh, she's waving like Fiona.
Is that Fiona?
No, she's blonde.

(01:25:05):
Yep.
She has a nose.
That's a chick from fucking Glee.
Now, one of these masked people is Fiona.
She's going to hang herself and we're all going to applaud.
Uh huh.
Okay.
Yeah.
That's a little A frame, almost like the symbol that

(01:25:30):
Fiona was drawing.
Oh, his name's Jay.
I thought it was Sal.
One's name Jay and one's name Sal.
You've been just saying all kinds of shit, though.
I don't know who anybody is.

(01:25:56):
Is this zombies?
It is.
This is exactly how zombies feels.
Or maybe like a resiny will for when you first roll up into the village.
Yeah.
They are in a strange tunnel.

(01:26:17):
Uh huh.
This is an abstract representation of a poop shoot.
They found the asshole.

(01:26:42):
Yeah, I guess they're in the UK.
It's all kinds of weird catacombs and shit, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, they've apparently happened upon a dead end there.
Probably what you don't want to do.

(01:27:03):
Just kick it in.
It's fine.
You know, these like.
I'm not claustrophobic, but I do have an issue with.
The cultists have found them.

(01:27:30):
And it really is zombies.
A zombies situation.
Yeah.
Except for this is like zombies on easy mode because they come in single file at you through the tiniest tunnel.
I mean, you got a little choke point, you know.
Yeah.

(01:27:57):
Bold move to just charge naked with a knife.
Yeah.
They sound like zombies to them.
The shrieking.
Notable.
I'm just waiting like they blow one of their heads off and then the fucking plog has come out with the whip things.

(01:28:24):
One of them to just get back up.
Has his name been Jay the whole time?
I thought it was Sal.
One's Jay, one's Sal.

(01:28:56):
You should shoot before the stabbing.
For sure.
Oh, it's better call Sal. Yeah, he got fucking wrecked.
Yeah.
He's been calling him Gal the whole time.
I assume that was short for something.
Yeah, it's probably just like one of those little gay names that you give your friends like his name Sal.

(01:29:18):
But we call him Gal because he's a bitch.
Yeah.
Or it's Jeffrey.
We call him Gal because he's so ladylike.
Oh, honey, you're exposed.

(01:29:39):
Oh, yeah.
I got no asshole, but your intestines are showing.
Lost your asshole over it.
You want me to tell my own wife that you're sorry?

(01:30:06):
Tell my kids I love them.
By my kids, I mean your kids.
Sal took out Gal.
Incongruous fucking soundtrack.
Yeah, it's kind of, it's been decent at points, but then it gets fucking crazy.
Yeah, they do too much for a lot of the time.

(01:30:29):
Yeah, now he's just fucking fleshing out his.
Like, why would you just play with your fucking.
Tommy, Sal, Gal.
No, not definitely not Gal.
Comes home.
To his wife and kids.
It's all over.

(01:30:50):
Distressed.
But he feels like it's not over.
There's a note on his door, too.
Is that important?
Nah, it's fine.

(01:31:12):
Shut this shit the fuck down.
Oh, man.
Who noisy?
Oh, honey, you're fucked.
Somebody set burning torches all around his house.
Hundreds of them.
Give her a gun, too.
Apparently she was in the fucking Swedish army or whatever.

(01:31:33):
This is a setup, right?
Yeah.
There was no MP.
But if there was, fuck.
Oh, man, he just got hit.
Well, he didn't got snuck up on.
You've got no asshole.
Ah.

(01:31:57):
Better not have been fucking Tommy.
Him too, man.
Yeah.
If it moves, it's getting shot.
I'm with her.
Yeah, honestly, they just grab Jimmy and get the fuck out of there.

(01:32:19):
I can do.
You know, it's annoying.
Fuck.
It's too loud.
Too noisy.
I'm literally saving you from the fucking zombies, bro.
You're a fucking piece of shit.

(01:32:42):
The hunchback.
That's Joe Biden right there.
Yeah.
That's Fred Armistead.
That's Mary Magdalene.

(01:33:10):
Yeah, I don't.
With the palms.
Yeah.
Can you leave my hand skin the fuck out of it?
Oh, marching bands coming in.

(01:33:31):
Sal's turn to do some cult shit.
They put a straw mask on him.
We're about to have.
That's the hunchback right there.
But they have a good old fashioned knife fight.

(01:33:56):
Oh, no.
Who's the hunchback going to be?
Oh, stabbing him right in the hunchback.

(01:34:18):
Brother.
Hey, shaking titties.
Fucking Fiona.
Bitch.
Oh, no, the hunchback was your own wife.
Yeah, it's rough, man.

(01:34:40):
She's fine with it.
I don't know the back of the hunch was.
Old Jimmy.
All right.
Why do movies do that?

(01:35:02):
This is a Serbian film situation.
Hey, get the crown of straw.

(01:35:30):
So for what?
I think that's kind of like really what I would have liked to have seen.
I mean, I think that's kind of like the reason for any of this.
Yeah.
Like even anything.
I mean, I guess we don't need like.
The reason, but.
Also, what was Kiev about?

(01:35:52):
What did he do in Kiev?
That was so fucked.
We mentioned it the whole time.
I don't know.
I think.
I think movies just use that shit.
Like.
Oh, remember this fucking.
European country.
That was wild.
You know.
Remember, I was in the Taliban.
What's up?

(01:36:15):
Man, I don't know, man.
I was in, dude.
I was so in.
And I just said this when you went to tell the children.
Good night.
There's no,
it is gonna have a really anticlimactic endings in it.
No, it did.
I don't know.
Dick. So I don't listen.

(01:36:36):
I honestly was falling asleep throughout the end.
You're on a bottle and a and a Benadryl that weren't you?
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. You probably shouldn't drink on Ben.
I don't know. It didn't say not to.
I guess I don't use this to make your child sleepy.

(01:36:59):
Oh, my God.
Who killed their kid with Benadryl that we've got that on there?
Yeah, somebody did.
Someone did, though. Yeah.
Oh, God.
So what I'm saying is I have absolutely nothing to add to
anything we're talking about, and I'm sorry.

(01:37:20):
That's all right.
I don't know. I guess he's just king of the fucking straw people, you know, right?
Because I don't know that
that librarian guy was like, yeah, you're cool.
Thank you for fucking beating my ass.
Yeah, he's obviously like the chosen one.
Yeah, he's got it. He's like the neo, you know?
And, you know, you kill your own wife and kid.

(01:37:43):
Get your little straw crown.
Hey, I honestly it was compelling.
It was, man. I really did like it.
It's just in the last few seconds, it's like, wait, what?
Yeah, it's all right.
Well, that was that I was even down with the with the whole

(01:38:06):
ending leading up to it when it was like, this is a crazy cult.
I was left wanting more, even just just just a smidgen, you know?
Yeah, just a smidge of context.
Yeah, because I was I was I was pretty fucking invested in it.
Pretty fucking invested.
It did a couple of things well during his sort of rampages.

(01:38:29):
Those displays of like gore were pretty good.
Oh, yeah, they were.
They were pretty damn good. Yeah. Yeah.
His palm, his palm hole was pretty good.
Yeah. Yeah. The special effects were fucking on point.
Yeah. Yeah.
So not not a great story, I guess.

(01:38:50):
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
Compelling characters,
just not enough of a reason for any of this to be happening for me.
Yeah, I don't know.
Maybe I need a second watch just to maybe piece some shit together
that I didn't catch this time.

(01:39:13):
Yeah, I wonder if I missed something. Yeah.
I spent a lot of time talking about his lack of balls,
so there's a very good chance I missed something.
Yeah, absolutely.
But you can't open with an obviously dickless man
and expect me not to focus on that.
I'm sorry. I'm a simple creature.

(01:39:34):
Yeah, no, he was strangely dickless.
I've never I've never seen a crotch like that in my life.
Even a vagina would have had.
More of an impact, more protrusion.
Yeah. Yeah.
All in all, I guess pretty good pick from Silas,
kind of one of the slow burners, I guess you would say.

(01:39:58):
Yeah, good special effects, slightly suspicious story,
highly suspicious soundtrack and audio design.
Yeah, she got wild with them sounds.
Yeah, we got to rein it in with just the fucking random beeping.
And I mean, I was rooting for him to kill that family since pretty much minute two.
So I'm glad he got to do that.
Yeah. What's up with his wife?
Just fucking whooping his ass all the time.

(01:40:19):
I don't know.
I know people like this, though.
I don't relate to that relationship dynamic, but I I know people like this.
Mm hmm. All right.
Lisa, tell me your star rating and your what the fuck moment.
I am going to say that I'm going to give this movie two and a half stars
because that's real average. All right. And

(01:40:42):
you know, I have no opinion.
My what the fuck moment is,
you know, I guess,
bashing that head in with that hammer or whatever it was.
Yeah, that's pretty crazy. That was pretty. Yeah.
All right, but what's your star rating and your what the fuck moment?
I'm going to go like it's like like three and a half.

(01:41:04):
It would be higher, but like I said, I don't have a.
There's no motivation, so I've got no like investment really.
But I think it did good at the things that did do.
My what the fuck moment's going to be
Joe Biden without warning.
And it is just a Joe Biden impersonator.

(01:41:25):
I'm not it's not even like funny.
Dude, the little guy looked like Joe Biden.
It was fucking Joe Biden with like long likes longer hair.
Yeah, more hair. Yeah.
And it was more ability to make words come out of his mouth.
And yeah, yeah, yeah.
So when Joe Biden unprovoked slash that guy's palm open, I was like, oh,

(01:41:53):
so I'll go with that. Yeah.
What about you, Chris? What's your what?
This what's happening?
What about you, Chris?
But there's things that you're supposed to do now.
Yeah, you're star rating and what the fuck moment?
I think I'm going to give this one four stars.
I think the only the only hang up I have on it is
I just kind of want a little bit more.

(01:42:14):
I was I was kind of in for the whole thing.
I would like that ending to be a little.
I just want more from the end.
My what the fuck moment is going to be towards the beginning of the movie.
Our protagonist finds a big pile of guts in his backyard.

(01:42:34):
It's a good thing.
Then he said, well, first, he licks them.
Yeah, to discern that it is, in fact, rabbit guts.
And then he cooks it and eats it in the backyard.
But he was able to discern that it was rabbit guts
by taste of raw intestine alone.

(01:42:54):
And he ate it to show the cat
that they did indeed have enough food.
Now, I have I have a you might call it volatile relationship with my own cat, too.
We get into heated debates verbally.
Constantly, but I don't.
They present me with dead mice on occasion.

(01:43:16):
I don't just cook it up and eat it.
So I don't really.
Maybe you should.
Maybe they'd stop if you if you did.
You should.
I'm not going to, but.
I'm not going to, but.
All right, Lisa, how spicy is this movie?
How spicy?

(01:43:38):
You know.
Just a real average level spice food.
Macaroni and cheese.
OK, it's that.
That's not like buffalo mac and cheese that Domino's has right now.

(01:43:59):
That's what it is.
OK. Yeah.
All right, well, how spicy is this move?
We're going to go with.
I go with a tough.
Overcooked lamb chop.
OK. Yeah.

(01:44:19):
Covered in an
like a sriracha barbecue situation.
Yeah, it's like fine.
It's fine. Yeah, good even.
But it's a chewy and there's not enough meat on the bones.
Yeah.
How spicy is this film?
I think this one's got a little spice to it, man.

(01:44:39):
I mean, the guy murders his whole family.
There was a I'm pretty sure that that was some real rabbits.
That they were skinning.
So I'm probably going to put this one at a.
Habanero hot sauce type level.
Oh, I got a I got a habanero honey mustard hot sauce right now.

(01:45:00):
I don't know if you could call it hot sauce, but it's a habanero honey mustard sauce.
Pretty good.
This one's delicious. Yeah, a little spicy.
That's good.
All right, Lisa.
All that's left to do is slot this in on your leaderboard.
It's going to go in my 20 spot under worms.

(01:45:22):
That's what I'm going to do.
All right, Bo, where does kill list fall on your leaderboard?
What is a family?
What you know about family step does.
Oh, right. OK, OK.
OK, I think I just could not for the life of me, remember

(01:45:44):
what that was. Pack a lunch.
Yeah. Gotcha.
Damn good movie.
Yeah, it was. I think this is going to go right beneath that.
So this will be my new number 12.
I would honestly rewatch this over a lot of that top 10.
But I, you know, I think it's got to go.

(01:46:06):
I think it's got to go here.
Yeah, I think so, too.
Like, I think this is a pretty rewatchable movie. Yeah.
And I definitely do want to rewatch it just to, I don't know,
get a better grasp of it.
Number 12 for Bo.
Where's this going on your leaderboard?
I think I might be doing just about the same thing.

(01:46:29):
I figured it's not being family.
Family's fucking good.
Yeah, as a banger.
I think I'd watch.
I had to ask, so I was like, I don't remember at all what the fuck that movie was.
Yeah, I'm going to make it my new number 11.
Right below family and right above Song of Solomon.

(01:46:53):
All in all, pretty damn good pick from Silas.
Yeah, I liked it on the old wheel of Sodom.
Yeah, damn good movie.
I think I think I would recommend it.
I think it is a slow burner.
Yeah, it's it's breath.
And it's mostly because I know I'm so desensitized.

(01:47:16):
I feel like this was really tame comparatively, even though.
It does culminate in him murdering his own family.
You know, it's surrounded by naked witchery.
Yeah, it was.
But at the same time, it had like these surprising moments, like when he
bashed that dude's head in with a hammer and like brain and skull bits

(01:47:40):
go flying out everywhere.
Or, yeah, like when he's just running amok.
When he's just running amok.
No special effects moments, they were they were pretty.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was punctuated by.
Some intensity. Yeah.
Yeah, and this is kind of I mean, it almost didn't seem like a horror movie

(01:48:02):
until like the end of it.
Yeah, it was the sound design.
Let me know for a lot of it that it was supposed to be a horror film.
Yeah, the sound got fucking crazy there for a few of a lot of moments.
A lot of we we we.
Yeah, and there was that one frame at the very end
after he's just stabbed his own son to death inadvertently.

(01:48:26):
But it's still and we get the high pitched ringing noise
that I think people should just stop doing.
Yeah, there was one moment is probably that moment
that I was reaching to take my headphones off.
Yeah, so was I.
It was like this last longer.
I'm going to riot.
Yeah, I got some hearing damage from that part guaranteed.

(01:48:47):
So next week on what the fuck are you watching?
It's our pick now, Bo, I'm going to let you be the judge of this one.
OK, we got three choices.
I don't have the movies here, but I figured since I have
so many fucking movies, we should probably knock some of them out.
We can either do another Fred Vogel movie.

(01:49:12):
We can do a Sam Hale double feature
or we can do a necrophilia double feature.
The choice is yours.
I say we knock out the Fred Vogel.
We've done we've done another Sam Hale sort of recently with the worms.

(01:49:32):
I agree.
I agree. And we've done some I guess we haven't really done overly necrophilia.
Yeah, that is a good choice because I shared on Instagram
that we would be covering the movie probably like a month ago.
So yeah, my vote's for Fred.
All right. So next week on what the fuck are you watching?

(01:49:55):
We will be covering.
Sella, Tersica.
Hope it's not bad.
I got high hopes for it.
August Underground was wild, man.
Yeah, I was.
It was the best fun footage movie I've ever seen.
I think. Yeah.
Damn good movies, even though it's kind of low on my leaderboard, at least.

(01:50:17):
You got August Underground at number 10.
I think I saw I saw that a little short because like it's a it's a tough one
to watch, hard to rewatch, I guess you would say.
So I wouldn't necessarily even want to rewatch
any of those August films, but it was like, like I said,
I think in that genre, it's kind of the benchmark.

(01:50:41):
Yeah. And you know, we love our found footage movies here.
And when the found footage in the extreme cross streams.
It's a magical moment.
Join us next week when we cover
Selaterska. I'm excited to see Fred Vogel's next movie.

(01:51:03):
Till next time. Say bye. Bye, bitch. Bye, bitch.
Mr. Bunny, it's going to get cold.
You're taking your coat off your back.
Hey, Mr. Bunny, what do you think? What do you think?

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