Martyrs

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
You will be given a test to determine your ability to withstand shock.

(00:05):
Well, look who's here.
This is the night when fear and horror walk hand in hand.
Do you feel up to it?
The most terrifying form of evil is that which lurks within the human mind.

(00:25):
Rated X.
Welcome to what the fuck are you watching? We're a weekly movie podcast exploring the disturbing,
the extreme and everything in between. I'm Chris and this is.
Hi, my name's Lisa. I'm with some people call a sex addict. I mean, just because I like to have sex

(00:51):
with a lot of boys doesn't make me afraid. Okay. Hello. Hey Lisa, how are you? I'm good.
How are you Chris? Fantastic. As always, I keep it on the sunny side of life.
Always on the sunny side. We're also joined by.

(01:14):
Melanoma.
Bo, how are you Bo? Mostly carbon.
Hell yeah. That's probably a good thing. Yeah. I, in opposition and almost defiance
of you. Yeah. Keep it exclusively on the shady side. Oh, okay. That's why we, you know,

(01:39):
balance each other out. Yeah. Uh huh. Yeah. I'll check this out, man. I. Oh God.
Is it a butthole? No, it's not a buckle. A butthole. Oh no.
But whole. Oh no. My fancy belt buckle dude. What sort of second grade bullshit you think I got going

(02:02):
on over here that I get fucking giddy and gay over a goddamn belt buckle. I don't know. You see,
I heard buckle. Yeah. It's like, man, I wish I had a buckle now. Yeah. Uh. Grow up.
I flayed like the top piece of my finger off this Valentine's day. Yeah.

(02:28):
As a present is in tribute. Yeah. I mean. Yeah. He said like how much I love you.
I bleed for you, Lisa. Yeah. Uh. Anyway, I got this little skin flap action. I'm going on.
Oh, you did play it. Yeah. Yeah. It's hanging on like right here at the fingernail. I just kind of

(02:49):
hold it back over and I'm just hoping for the best at this point. Uh. Yeah. It's got a little
neat sport on there. It will be fine. Yeah. Um. I offered up on our Instagram. If anybody
wanted to see it, I would send them pictures and actually got some takers, which was cool.
Yeah, he did. Uh. Yeah. You should show it going into stuff now. Yeah. Uh.

(03:13):
Or fastening things like buckles. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I thought it. I thought I should treat it like a
dick pic situation. I saw it was like. Picks on request, you know, I didn't want to just
blast it out there. Oh, that's not been my experience with the dick pics. Yeah. Well,

(03:34):
I'm trying to, you know, be responsible. I've never I've neither been asked for permission
nor ever asked anyone for permission. Yeah. My dick pic games pretty weak. Uh.
I've got a really good dick pic. Yeah. Yeah. Is there like a science to it or?

(03:56):
Uh. There's for sure a formula I'd imagine. Step one is to have a decent cock. Yeah,
that definitely helps. I think I nailed that one. OK. Thank God. Hallelujah. Uh. Chris is good there
too. Yeah. So the rest is really just angle angle and lighting. Yeah. Yeah. He's just got to work

(04:20):
on the angle and lighting, I guess. I don't know. I don't get dick pics from him often enough to know
if they're good or not. That's the thing. I feel like I need to ask. And if I ask, the answer is
always no. Yeah. And when you've asked, I've said no. So I think I need to just fucking put it out
there. She gave you she already said I do. If you can't rape your wife. Yeah, that's true.

(04:48):
OK. I shouldn't have agreed to that. Yeah. Lisa gets it.
Yeah, I think that's my problem. I keep asking. I need to start taking. OK. So the last time he said
I was having a shitty day or something and he's like, would a dick pic help? And I was like, no.

(05:10):
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, God. Yeah. Have Chris and I always been the same person?
Yeah, I think so. How disappointing for all of us.
That's the kind of feedback Jack has a lot of bad days and that's about the feedback he receives.

(05:32):
Yeah. Oh, well, does he ever say pick help? Does he ever say he does not ever say no.
He never says no. See, OK. Correct. This is kind of a bitch. If you didn't know, this is kind of a bitch.
What endeared her to me in the first place? Yeah. Oh, it's before we get started today,

(05:56):
it's a male day at the What the fuck you watching studios? Oh, we're going to see what we got here.
Yeah, we got some mail. It's a very long tube. Oh, that's my clonal willy.
That's a fucking monster. I know what this is. Three foot long.

(06:23):
Monster fucking tube. Is this a is this a scroll? A poster? Oh, a poster. Didn't you order some posters?
Yeah, it's got to be a poster. Oh, yeah. That's supposed to all the staples are fucking it up.
Yes, poster right there. Yeah. I don't want to open it until I get like a frame.

(06:47):
Oh, yeah. This is the Vanya poster. I love the art of Vanya, man. And now. Yeah. I have a big
fucking poster. Yeah. Going to have to review the movie sometime. Man, I can't wait. I bet this
looks fucking cool, dude. I can't wait to open it. I can't really see it from inside the

(07:09):
roll. Yeah. All I see is light blue and white font. Yeah, this is going to be cool.
Follow us on your Instagram and I will post this when I get a frame for it.
Right. And also follow our Instagram if you want to see my
delayed finger. It's starting to heal up, though. I'm like three, four days out at this point. So

(07:30):
that's not as gross as it was. It is a little crusty, though. OK, moving on from your finger.
Shout out to everybody that sent us voice clips of them saying, What the fuck are you watching?
I'm going to be putting them in our new intro. It might be on this episode. I don't know.

(07:56):
I haven't started it yet, so it won't be. It might not be. That's a big negative.
And for those of you that are wondering what the fuck I'm talking about, that's an Instagram
exclusive thing. I put the I put the call to arms out on Instagram. Send me a voice clip. Are you

(08:18):
saying what the fuck are you watching? And I'll put it in the intro. So if you're hearing this
now and you want to do it, you just send it to me and I'll make room for you. Shout out to fucking
Carl's bad. They're hitting it hard this week. Gave us a lot of listens. What forward the UK,
a Detroit. It's got to be shaggy to dope. Maybe he sham the unholy.

(08:48):
East Side Hoes and money. Brockport. Salem love the witches. Not so much the cigarettes,
but that's all right. We don't like cigarettes. I like cigarettes. I just don't like sales.
I love cigarettes. Cool, dude. I fucking hate them now. I wish they didn't smell like they did.

(09:14):
Cigarettes smell great on occasion and in a place like the lingering odor of like consistent use,
though, is not appealing. Right. Yeah, it's the after odor, right? Yeah. But like, I don't know,
man. I smell I walked by somebody smoking the other day and this shit's not good.
Oh, my God. I like it. I like I like it. I like the whole act of it.

(09:41):
Love nicotine. Love carcinogens. Yeah, dude.
Uh, shout out to Scranton. I'm going to refrain from making an office joke. Sure. You heard them
all. Shout out to Warsaw. Love the packs. Special shout out to rim chicken.

(10:08):
Excuse me. Rim chicken. You need to say it with a more German accent. Her name chicken.
I sound like right. He was correct. That was the element I needed. Yeah.
Sound like fucking Street Fighter. It did sound like some sort of jump kick.

(10:33):
Whoa, Lisa, what the fuck are you watching? Oh, my gosh. I'm so excited because we are watching
martyrs from 2008. I'm excited, too. Lisa actually picked a movie. This is my first actual pick. Yeah.
30 some episodes in. Lisa made a pick. Can't believe it. Well, to be fair, I've had a couple

(10:54):
of picks. You just didn't really want to do them. We did slaughtered vomit dolls. As I say, that's
not fair. We did slaughtered vomit dolls. That was not my pick. Set us on an entire
could be embarrassed. Vomit gore fucking journey, dude. Yeah. Saga. Yeah. I would change the
trajectory of this whole podcast with that one. Yeah. Yeah. I'm I'm excited to watch this movie.

(11:21):
It's one of the first movies that we watched when Chris first started wanting to watch extreme
horror kind of movies. Oh, spoiler alert. It's a damn good one. It is. Now we don't do this very
often, but some of you guys don't like to watch the fucking movies we review. Let me tell you,

(11:45):
you haven't seen this one. You really need to watch it before listening to our episode or any
episode or any review, because I think it's really worth going in blind. There's a lot of twists and
turns. Yeah. I think the whole movie changes about the halfway point. Yeah. It's an all around good

(12:05):
time. If you like the idea of the Silent Hill 2 kind of pyramid head guilt demon thing, I think
you'll like this movie. It's a good movie. And I don't say that about many movies that we watch.
I know, man. I can't wait to see what Lisa rates this one. I know. Three stars. I really liked it.

(12:27):
It's going to be high for sure. I don't know. Now I noticed you picked the 2008
Martyrs, Lisa. Is there a reason why you didn't pick the 2015 American remake?
Well, I was going to say, are you referring to the American one? Yeah, because the American one

(12:51):
fucking sucks. It sure did. We loved this one so much. And then finally we were like, let's try to
watch the American one. And it was so terrible. Yeah. This movie is pretty nihilistic and bleak
and sad. And it's almost like they were trying to have a glimmer of hope or something in the

(13:19):
American remake. Yeah. And I hated it. Yeah. It's an all around bad time. So do yourself a favor
and don't watch the American remake. If there's somebody out there that prefers the American remake
over the original, please let us know why. Let us know. We want to talk about it. You should

(13:41):
let everyone you ever meet know and probably in the opening remarks, just so that we go ahead and
know what kind of person you are before investing any of our fucking energy in you.
This is also our first French movie. That's so crazy. I can't believe it's our first French movie.

(14:02):
So it's a fucking shit. These are all French names. This one's written and directed by
Pascal Pascal Lagier, lagier, starring Mariana Louie and goddamn, Myline Jamponoy.

(14:28):
This is my first French movie, man. I don't know how to do French name.
Sorry. I'm like the Japanese like you usually do.
Are you Italian? You turn everything Italian. Yeah, Italian. Myline Jamponoy.

(14:51):
Catherine, beginning. We can go out. We can say on principle.
And this is coming as a native English speaker. So I understand that French is a nonsense language.
Just on principle, baseline, objectively, nonsense language. It's insane. It's insane.

(15:24):
I think I nailed Aloui though. I think so too.
The Myline Jamponoy. It's got a lot of squigglies and dots on it though. So that's a rough one.
I don't know. Not the spriggles. Yeah, dude. Anyway, here's a little storyline for you.

(15:46):
This one's by Wedgwood. 15 years after a horrifying experience of abduction and
prolonged torture, Lucy embarks on a bloody quest for revenge against her oppressors.
Along with her childhood friend, Anna, who also suffered abuse, she quickly and hopelessly

(16:07):
descends into madness and her own delusions. Anna, left on her own, begins to re-experience
what Lucy did when she was only 12 years old. Don't know if I agree with that one, but yeah,
that's what it is. Not quite. Here's a tagline for you. They haven't finished being alive.

(16:31):
Hell yeah. Okay. Fun fact. Myline Jamponoy was the viper in the French version of Kung Fu Panda.
Oh, okay. There's your extreme horror kids movie connection that seems to happen a lot.

(16:54):
Who was ours? Lucy Liu? Lucy Liu, yeah. Hot. Yeah. Had no idea. I don't know anything about Kung
Fu Panda. And Myline Jamponoy is half Chinese, so works. Yeah. Appropriate.

(17:18):
And Mariana Allouy is half Moroccan. Well, this craziness going on in France, man. I didn't know
they were so intermingled. They all still like them real young. Oh yeah. Who doesn't?
I mean, I know. Reaching to the choir, but. No, you might be wondering, man, the guys here at

(17:44):
What the Fuck You Watching really love this movie. Maybe I should show the kids. Yes, you should.
I think we got the IMDB parents guide to tell us how to feel sex and nudity. Been rated moderate.
A girl kisses another girl very briefly. Does not go beyond that. Thieves.

(18:10):
That's disappointing. A tortured woman is stripped of her shirt, bearing her breasts.
In this film, there is no sex at all, but female nudity often flashes and especially breasts.
For example, in the Vic and the female victim, we see naked breasts, which are also noticeable

(18:34):
when she lies in the bathroom. Female has breasts. All right. Got it. Damn shame. Oops. Titties.
Do we like the word titties? Yeah, I'm not against it. I don't typically use it, though.
Titties seems a little more like like sports bra. Did he see my titty? I don't know, man.

(18:58):
I feel like you put breasts in a sports bra because you're doing sports. They're not.
We're not sexualizing these breasts. Oh, doing sports. They're in a sports bra like mammary glands.
Titties are hot. Titties are hot. Covered in beer and cum. Yeah. Yeah. OK.

(19:24):
Lucy is often followed by a disgusting woman that is completely naked and covered in blood.
Her breasts and buttocks are exposed every time she appears in the movie. Makeup effects
prevent further exposure of this character's anatomy. OK.
Makeup effects prevent further exposure of this character's anatomy. OK.

(19:56):
Violence and Gorsman. Maybe it's Maybelline for the pussy. I don't know.
Yeah. Hell or Matt.
Violence and Gorsman rated severe. A little girl shows another girl her bleeding arms.
A girl is stabbed twice in the thigh with a short blunt object. Her arms are also clawed at,

(20:21):
leaving shallow but bloody cuts. We see a slightly disfigured woman for some time.
A woman is shot in the forehead. A bloody entry wound is seen for two seconds.
Prof. Counted them seconds, man. Yeah, I just know someone to go on with if I can stop.

(20:44):
Profanity has been rated mild. Some minor profane language. One brief instance of slut.
Brief instance of it. What's. They said it real fast. Cut them off halfway.
Monosyllabic word. What do you mean?

(21:06):
What's the alternative? You slu. Yeah. Alcohol, drugs and smoking has been rated mild.
People are briefly seen drinking wine at a gathering. Oh, shit.
Frightening and intense scenes rated severe. A couple of minutes later, a woman is shot in the

(21:29):
head of a man, a man at a gathering. Oh, shit. Frightening and intense scenes rated severe.
A couple scenes, including feeding of what appears to be green soup where the person
gags it out, gagging out that soup. Terrible meal style. These fucking comments are so stupid.

(21:54):
The half of the film, roughly 40 minutes, is intense and shocking. And no, this is not true.
It's the complete film that is disturbing.
OK. I hate everyone involved.

(22:15):
Uh, in these descriptions that we read, uh. Maybe maybe you Genesis were right.
Uh, yeah, this person's weird, of course. This person's thinking out loud, I guess you would call

(22:38):
it her. No, no, they thought they they thought they ate with that to the thing. Yeah. No. Did
they use a semi colon after? No, no, it's a it's a regular. I didn't figure it's a common actually.
Yeah, you didn't say the word, so I assumed not. Yeah. So it's a mistake. Number two. Yeah.
Actually, mistake number three. The first mistake was using the word briefly so often in this fucking

(23:03):
rant. Maybe keep this shit brief. Yeah, bitch. That's a wild. That's a wild one right there.
No, no, that's not. And no, what I've said so far is absolutely not true. No, I'm a liar.
Are you gagged? Did I get you?

(23:25):
Yeah, I know it just needed a site. Yeah, yeah. J.K. Smiley face.
A woman slitting her wrist in close up with a huge knife.
OK, very emotional atmosphere. And that's frightening.

(23:48):
I'm scared of emotions. Yeah, I haven't had them in some time.
Yeah, this movie overall is disturbing, grimy, unsettling and sad.
That's mostly true, but I still love it. So am I. Yeah.

(24:08):
Fun fact, the girl that plays Anna broke three bones in her foot.
She fell off a soundstage. Not as fun. Yeah. Your fun facts are always so much fun. So fun.
I thought I thought the Kung Fu Panda one was pretty fun. Yeah. And that's not on IMTV either.

(24:30):
So I did a little digging for that one. Oh, good job. And that's fun. That research. Yeah.
Hmm. Yeah. Apparently, our Pascal, Laogier.
God damn it. I wish I knew to say his name. Laogier.

(24:50):
Laogier. Laogier.
Apparently, our boy Pascal.
Mm hmm. Oh, it almost seemed like he was doing kind of like a shining thing with Kubrick and
a Shelley DeVille. You know how he was a huge dude. Maybe not to the level of Kubrick, but,
um, you know, the the two girls are supposed to be, you know, stressed out.

(25:16):
So he was like, I'm going to stress you out in real life. Break three bones in your foot.
Yeah. And, you know, like isolating them and shit from the rest of the crew. And, uh,
you know, the two actresses didn't come out and say, like, you know, it was like crazy abusive
or anything. They just kind of said it was rough time. OK. I think if I was a director, that's

(25:40):
what I would do, too. I would isolate a couple of people that I've hired and like have them
shoot all alone. Yeah. And then none of it would be in the film. And afterwards, they would be in
the film. Afterwards, that woman would be like, well, why was in that? Why was I in that room

(26:03):
pissing on myself? Yeah. But, you know, I'll end the fuck out of her. Right. Yeah. So why did
we play so many games? A blind man. Well, I had all these silk knickers. That's what the CK. Yeah.

(26:26):
Hard are they always. Yeah. Yeah. You always put a hard on knickers. Yeah.
Our boy, Pascal, he confessed that, you know, he was crazy depressed when he wrote this movie.
Borderline suicidal. He was kind of inspired by hostile. Because, you know, American America

(26:51):
was doing, you know, the hostels and the saws and the torture, porns and all that. I can see that.
And, you know, he just kind of wanted to make it about pain, though, suffering.
He also thinks that the American remake sucks. It does. And he's also mad because apparently

(27:15):
didn't get paid for. Oh, that's wild. Yeah, that makes it even worse. Don't watch the American
remake. Forget what I said. We're not ready to start this movie. I'm ready. OK. He's just been
going on for a while. Right. Well, you know, I had like a ton of fucking cool facts and shit for you,

(27:37):
but I guess we'll just watch the movie. Like a metric ton. Yeah. Well, like an ass load.
Like a boat load. OK, it's a boat load, which is roughly equal to an ass ton. Yeah. But whose but?

(28:03):
Well, that's when things get a little iffy. Not all butts are created equal, but they do all have
the same potential. Also, just not true. I don't know, man. I've seen some wild things going to
some very small butts. That's true. I guess I probably could fit this in my butt, but like

(28:30):
we're not all making it out of there alive. Right. You know? Well, I mean, you're going to
have to go through like a training montage and then. Yeah. And then once you realize that there
is no butt. Yeah. Kind of like a matrix thing. Then. Yeah. Boom. You've unlocked your anal

(28:51):
potential. You guys ready to watch this movie? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. You better be. I've been ready
for like an hour now. Oh, yeah, you have. Since I said, I'm so excited. We're watching Martyrs.
This is Martyrs 2008. Let's watch this movie. Yay.

(29:19):
It's taking care of business films.
It's a TCB. Yeah, it even had the lightning bolt. That's like an Elvis ripoff right there.
Got a little girl running away. Running. Running from a. Running strangely. An abandoned warehouse.

(29:43):
I guess she has been abused for years. Cannot critique her running. Yeah. I'd like to see you
run this far. My leg is longer than her body. I'm like a gazelle.
And that girl has a fucked up eye. That's the same girl. That's the running girl.

(30:12):
Now they're going back to where they found her. Yeah. Abandoned factory. Yeah.
This is where she lived.
She wasn't raped. Yeah, she did have hypothermia, malnutrition and dehydration though.

(30:32):
This is probably the only torture dungeon in the world where the girls don't get raped. Yeah.
She won't talk about what she endured.
Who gave her that haircut? Well, as I say, she tried to give herself bangs. That's all that happened.

(30:54):
Yeah. Yeah. She doesn't like other kids. Or trees. Yeah. Or anything really.
I get it. Shout out to the fucking casting department. That actually looks like the woman
as a child. Yeah.
Yeah. That's a Marlene Giambionni.

(31:21):
All kids are creepy. Little girls. Yeah, dude. With their fucking full heads of hair and shit.
I don't know. Something dark sided going on. Yeah. Especially like, was this like Super 8 or some
shit in like creepy dresses? Yeah. Yeah. With their frocks. Yeah. But she finally found a friend.

(31:49):
She decided she didn't hate all the other kids. And they're talking to her friend,
Anna, trying to get her to help them figure out what happened to Lucy.
Because Anna is the only one Lucy talks to. Because Lucy doesn't want to remember sometimes.

(32:09):
It's the scariest fucking counselor in the world. Looks like a fucking...
What's the French Special Forces called? I don't know.
No idea. Losers? The Croissant Club. Oh no, Lucy didn't come to lunch. Lucy.

(32:38):
Got some splaining to do. Oh my god, I was gonna make that joke.
Cut herself in the bathtub. Yeah. Lucy's cutting herself in the bathtub. It wasn't her though.
She didn't do it.
But she doesn't want to sleep with you. I'm not gay, bitch. Yeah. I'm abused, not lesbian.

(33:18):
Oh no.
Something got through her chair blocked door.
I guess that might be kind of a jump scare for some people. Yeah. That's a jump scare, man.

(33:43):
God damn, get some chapstick. I see that fucking chainsaw lip is a jump scare.
There's a literal monster under Lucy's bed. Now on the end of her bed.
Yeah, that's scary, man. Yeah. Scary monster. This is the first scary movie we've watched.

(34:13):
Plus TARD. 15 years later. Whoa, man. French don't give a fuck.
Oh, well, we know which one the TARD is.

(34:45):
I hate that in films when it's like
whimsy filmed as horror. Yeah. You didn't like that? I hate it. I thought it was kind of cool.
Looked like, you know, she was another victim. It's good. I just hate it.

(35:09):
It's good, but I hate it. Yeah. Yeah.
We got a family just hanging out, doing family stuff. Mom's putting in work, man.
I don't know if she should be fucking with that. Those pipes like that, though.
You know what's going on? I'm hammering on a pipe, dude.

(35:33):
Yeah, I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.
You're hammering on a pipe, dude. Yeah. Well, you know, maybe she knows what's
happening. And mom brings in a dead mouse to show everyone. Is mom off her meds?
Yeah, mom's a little out there. I found this while I was hammering the pipes.

(35:58):
Yeah, she says she found it in the pipe. That's why they didn't have good water pressure.
You didn't do shit, mom. You just found a dead mouse in that hole.
You fucking whacked on a wrench.
Kids are fighting like kids do. Yeah. The mom says your brother's a visionary.

(36:28):
He's like a Sigourney Weaver. Yeah. Or Linda Hamilton. Yeah.
You want to drop out to be a pastry chef, you dummy. You don't know what you want.

(36:49):
Doorbell rings and the daughter says, who's the pain in the ass?
Oh, it's a girl with a shotgun and she just fucking blows dad away.
Hell yeah, dude. That's how you make an entrance right there.
And there's mom. Fucking blast them. Yeah.

(37:13):
And the kids are just like, oh, let me stand here.
Double barrel shotgun was not a good choice. But this is France.
Sit down at the table, boy. Do you know what your parents did?
He almost seems like he knows he's like, hey, I don't think he seems like he knows.

(37:34):
He seems like he knows. I think you want to be a pastry chef.
Yeah. Yeah. And she blows him through the frickin door.
Lena's fuck all now. Yeah. The powerful shotgun.
Dude, that kid knew, man. He knew what was going on.
He gave you that fucking 18 year old. I don't think so.

(37:58):
Yeah, I seen it. All right.
Little girl. Yeah. Yeah. Where is she?
Could she be under this bed? Let me shoot through it just to see.
Fucking blast. And yeah, feathers everywhere.

(38:20):
I saw it right there, baby. Oh, yeah.
Got him. Yeah.
Love. You almost made it.
Love a good child murder. You don't see that often enough in movies.
I don't think our assailants not happy about it.

(38:41):
Yeah, she seems to be sad about what she's done.
She's definitely conflicted. She's kissing the mom now.
And asking her how she could do that to her.
You're supposed to ask the question before you can shoot them.
They can't answer you now, man. And she's not happy about it.

(39:06):
Why won't this bitch just answer me? I'm going to shoot her fucking kid again.
It's nice how she just has a sandwich lay in there.
Oh, yeah. You burn carbs murdering a family.

(39:28):
She eats when she's stressed. She took one bite and littered.
Yeah, the pay phones ring and I got to go.
It's Lucy calling to tell her that she found the people.
Yeah, they got the child casting for main crazy number one well, but Anna got less cross-eyed.

(39:56):
That's good. Yeah, they didn't do Anna very well.
You're calling from their house. What's wrong with you, Lucy?
Damn it, Lucy.

(40:17):
Lucy's just going to sit there and think about what she's done.
Yeah, just thinking in the porch swing. It's the best place to think.
Too little thinking. Gaze at the blood of a murdered family on your hands.
We're hanging out in their house. Take a shower.

(40:40):
Why would you have not reloaded that shotgun already?
Why are you just sitting there with a not loaded shotgun?
She's only got one bullet.

(41:00):
You just wasted your only bullet on a door frame.
She nailed that door frame. She sure did.
Oh my God. Someone's just cranking in the kitchen.
It's a naked person. Good thing you brought that razor with you. She says, see the blood. I did it.

(41:21):
Oh man. She just got attacked by that naked person.
Getting pounced on her. Thrown through a coffee table.
Oh no, you let the monster have the razor. Bad plans all around.

(41:46):
Slicing her back.
Push the shit out of that monster dude.
Yeah. Thinking back to being chained to a chair.

(42:23):
Good use of things called jump cuts.
Where the guy grabbed the little girl's face and then.
Yeah. Or when she shot in the bird flying.
She's trying to come out of the closet.
It's not safe. The monster's waiting for you, dude.
Yeah. That's about how it feels.

(42:45):
Yeah.
Oh, Anna's here. She's in the house.
And Anna says, I know bandages are up. She's such a good friend.

(43:08):
Anna needs to go look at the house and see what happened.
Lucy's just going to headbutt a tree while she's gone.
Hell yeah. Massacre.
Yeah. Anna's like, what the fuck am I walking into?

(43:32):
Dead bodies everywhere.
And by now they've evacuated their bellies.
Oh yeah. Lucy's just been hanging out with all the shit.

(43:53):
Yeah. Anna needs a fucking minute alone, man.
This is goddamn. I just need a break.
It's been 15 fucking years.
Anna's a mother at her fucking wits end, dude.
She sure is.

(44:14):
And Lucy's just at the bathroom door. Mom, mom, mom.
Mom, she hurt me again.
Worse than before.
Yeah. Except, you know, it's not just siblings fighting.

(44:37):
It's that your toddler like friend has just murdered a household full of people.
She says, hey, you called me from their fricking house.
They're going to know you killed these people. I don't care.
Yeah, honey. It's a sewing needle.
Yeah. She's stitching your fucking back up. Of course it hurts.

(45:00):
It hurts. Does no one own tapstick or bottled water? What's going on?
Sigourney Weaver had nice lips. What's your guys?
Yeah. It's tough out there.
This seems to be a well-to-do family. Nice house.
Yeah. Weird shower though. Where's the curtain?
Different country. Different kind of-

(45:21):
They just fucking let it ride.
Showers, man. I have to pee again.
Would you like us to pause?
No, but you're going to have to take over talking about what's happening.
All right. They brought all the victims to the bathroom.
And they smell it. That awful smell.

(45:42):
Yeah.
It smelled like she bent over me. Chicks are hot, man.
They are, right?
Anna's hot, but Lucy is striking.

(46:06):
Chicks are always way hotter, covered in blood and gross stuff.
I don't know what it is.
Yeah, it's a shelved. I don't know either.
I think it's a deep childhood thing for me.
I think you could trace it back to Mortal Kombat, Annihilation.
There's a fight scene with Sonya Blade, and I want to say maybe Jade.

(46:29):
They fight in that big mud pit. Mud wrestling was hot at the time.
I remember. It was raining. And I think after the fight, Sonya wins.
And Jax says, you look damn good in mud or something like that.
And I was like, you know what, Jax, you're right. And it's been a thing for me ever since.

(46:51):
You did a good job talking about the movie while I was gone.
It was pertinent.
Everyone acting like Sonya was the hot one in Mortal Kombat, the crime of our lifetime.
Yeah, dude. How can Katana?
Yeah, I think Katana is probably the hot one. I can't really remember at this point.

(47:13):
Yeah, if you keep the mask on the like,
Mm hmm.
Snake mouth thing.
The baraka teeth. Yeah.
Oh yeah. Melina. Yeah, Melina's hot. Well, she's also a quine.
Yeah. Of Katana. So.
Yeah. You might as well just take Katana at that point.
Yeah, I guess so.

(47:35):
Well, Anna is now dragging the dead bodies to bury them in the backyard.
Yeah, she's doing a lot of the lifting.
Yeah.
Shaped like a stick man.
Yeah, she's she's small.

(47:59):
I'm glad you're here to explain the movie for us.
We're not doing a very good job, please.
I know you're not.
Oh, shit. The mom's alive.
Yeah.
Oh, God. And she screamed and it woke Lucy up.
Listen, I don't really know what you guys said while I was gone,
but I was just going to say both of these girls are pretty hot.

(48:22):
Yeah, dude.
They are hot.
Yeah.
It was mostly just that.
Yeah.
And then it led to Mortal Kombat.
Yeah, Lucy is.
She's mad or she's trying to figure out what's going on now

(48:46):
because she woke up to someone screaming.
She needs some lip therapy, dude.
It's the eyes like she has such pretty fucking eyes.
I honestly think Anna's hotter, but it's Lucy's eyes.
Anna's definitely hot.
I think Lucy has like this.

(49:09):
I don't know.
You don't see people that look like Lucy very often, I guess.
So like, I don't know, she just stands out a little bit more to me.
Yeah. Well.

(49:31):
Anna told her that everything's fine, basically, and.
Continued trying to bury some bodies.
Yeah, and his literally mom.
Yeah.
But now Lucy's screaming from inside the house.
So she's got to go figure out what the fuck's happening.

(49:51):
The monster's back.
And it's in the bathroom with Lucy.
And this monster is very scary.
Yeah, she is contorted.
I remember this being a lot more disturbing for me when we watched it the first time.
So yeah, it's probably a scary monster.

(50:16):
The monster is naked.
Not in a sexy way, though.
Yeah, not at all.
And she really wants to murder Lucy.
The monster makes prominent use of a razor blade.

(50:39):
It's a weapon wielding monster.
Well, Lucy's the one that always brings the razor blade.
Yeah, she's like, why won't you leave me alone?
I killed them and their kids.
Can't negotiate with monsters, Lucy.
Yeah.
I don't know if you've ever dealt with someone with like schizoaffective disorders.

(51:00):
This is exactly how my uncle would get on every like every Fourth of July.
Yeah.
Flashing back to being chained up in the chair again.
What did they do to that poor girl's hair, man?
Yeah.

(51:21):
Fucking buzz it or something.
Yeah, they're gonna feed her.
The chopped and screwed.
Oh, yeah, it's so bad.
They're feeding her this green goo.
She doesn't like it.

(51:42):
I think she's gagging it out as that one comment.
So yeah.
Oh, yeah.
The lady decides to unchain her while she's spitting.
While she's spitting on her for some reason.
Yeah, we're seeing how young Lucy escapes.

(52:05):
Yeah.
The torture warehouse.
I'm just saying like she was obviously in an honry mood.
Why would you unlock her chains?
Yeah, she was feeling honry.
Yeah.
Oh, there was the slut.
It was grief.
Yeah.

(52:25):
I didn't even hear it.
Yeah, I wish I could hear it so I'd know how to say slut in French.
Young Lucy sees another torture victim.
Yeah.
But what will she do?
Yeah.

(52:47):
An older Lucy says, forgive me.
It's not my fault.
Nothing you could do, Lucy.
You didn't have the keys.
You got to stump you around your way out of there.

(53:12):
You're in time out.
You keep stabbing yourself.
She locked you in the bedroom.
I need a fucking moment of peace, dude.
Mommy's got a fucking mess to clean up.
She just needs a break from your shit.

(53:33):
And Anna is trying to get the mom away from Lucy.
I think Lucy has a sense of it too.
She senses the betrayal happening right now.
I know.
Unfortunately, Lucy always wakes up when the mom is making noise.

(53:58):
The mom's like, why did she do this?
I think at this point, it's very unclear if this is actually
the torturers that Lucy murdered.
It is.
It is unclear.
An ambulance for my children.
Usually they were dead.
I guess she had already been shot by then.

(54:19):
Yeah, that's true.
And Lucy has found them.
And it's going to make sure the mom's dead.
With a hammer?
Yeah.
Bashing her head in.

(54:39):
Lucy's just trying to stop the demons at this point.
Yeah, she's got to kill these people to make up for not saving that lady.
She wants to know why Anna would help someone that hurt her.

(55:06):
Anna was all Lucy had for the last 15 years.
And to see Anna helping the torture mom?
Yeah.
And now Lucy's realizing that Anna doesn't believe her and she thinks she's crazy.
Just knock that fucking bookshelf over.

(55:28):
Demon lady's back.
Monster lady.
Now after the ultimate betrayal by Anna, I think the only one Lucy has left in her life
is the razor demon.
Yeah.
They're just going to hug each other.

(55:54):
And then the demon starts slicing her arm with the box knife.
Except, oh, wait.
It's just Lucy slicing her own arm with a box knife.
There is no monster lady.
No.
Monster lady's bashing her head into the wall.

(56:23):
Ran right through the glass.
Yeah, there's the doorway right there.
Yeah.
It's like a bird. She didn't even see the glass there.
Fucking Windex commercial, dude.
So clear she didn't even see it.
Except for all those black lines of the frame running through it.
Set off to Windex.

(56:44):
Not a sponsor.
You want that street free shine?
Oh, shut up.
The trick is, you can't see the glass.
Shut up. The trick is to use newspaper.
Yeah.
Lucy just slid her own throat in the rain.
Yeah, Lucy.

(57:05):
We could have been done dead there, though.
You know.
Completely given into the razor demon.
Yeah.
That's all she had left.
Yeah.
And Anna's there to catch her just as her body falls to the ground.
I don't think you can save her by putting pressure on it, though.
You might be able to stuff it with something.

(57:29):
I got something I can stuff it with.
Yeah, put your dick in there.
That'll give you enough time to, I don't know, get to the hospital.
Not believe it.
Not bleeding as much as I thought throat slit would bleed.

(57:53):
There's an impressive gush at the beginning.
True.
He's also done a lot of bleeding in general.
Yeah.
Ain't got much love.
So far.
Yeah.
Bleeding and screaming.
Blood pressure has tanked.
I think Anna should consider some new friends.

(58:20):
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, I should probably say Anna, huh?
It's not Anna.
I don't think it matters.
It's definitely Anna, though, because it's French.
Yeah.
Anna's calling home.
Calling her mom.
And her mom's like, what the hell?
I haven't talked to you in two years.
What do you want now?

(58:41):
Fuck you, Anna.
Yeah, not in any trouble.
Everything's fine.
How do you live, Anna?
Yeah.
Yeah. Are you still with her?
Are you still under her influence?

(59:04):
No.
She's a bitch and a pervert and a loser.
A pervert.
I think we were talking about Mortal Kombat during the scene
where Anna tried to kiss Lucy.
And Lucy was kind of like, what the fuck are you doing?

(59:26):
Oh, yeah.
Oh, Lucy.
Anna found a secret doorway, though.
Yeah. Goes into a creepy basement looking thing.
She sure does.
Thread tunnel.
At what point are you like, fuck this, I'm out.

(59:47):
So nearer the precipice, I think closer to the beginning.
Yeah.
Of this endeavor.
Like when you walked in and saw that your friend
murdered a whole house full of people.
Like when you're in a parking lot with a nice hoagie.
You buy a pay phone and you hear it ringing.
I just don't pick up.
Yeah.
Yeah, for sure.

(01:00:08):
Or even if you do pick up and your friends like,
yeah, I just murdered a whole family.
Please help.
That's wild.
But she didn't actually tell her that she did that.
She just said she found them and that she was at their house.
I don't know.
I'm split.
I'm split because have I had these own fantasies myself?

(01:00:32):
I wasn't like kept in a dungeon or anything.
Yeah.
I don't know.
It depends on whether, you know, am I on drugs?
I might be down.
Who knows?
Yeah.
Well, Ana has found a lot of pictures in this weird basement tunnel.

(01:00:55):
Yeah, there's a whole line of them.
Almost set up like movie posters with very disturbing imagery.
Yeah.
I think roughly half of those images are real.
Fun fact.
Damn.
Well, I was going to point out that the reason she found this secret tunnel
is because the hammer that was on the counter kept getting moved.

(01:01:21):
Or like kept, you know, getting bumped or something.
And then it ended up being on these weird stairs to the basement.
Like someone moved it there.
And now she's found a trap door that goes even further down.

(01:01:42):
Yeah, dude.
Double basement.
Absolutely not.
Yeah.
Nothing good happens in a basement.
Definitely not.
Nothing good happens in a double basement, dude.
Well, and it's like something this this finished.

(01:02:07):
This is like this is a bunker, right?
Not.
Yeah, this is definitely a bunker.
Fucking concrete.
Steel.
Polished steel.
Yeah.
Still windows.
Still windows too.
I'm not sure what's going on here.
Yeah. How the fuck do you have windows that far underground?

(01:02:30):
Oh, and then the sad poop chair.
Yeah. Here's the here's the fucking potty chair with the chains
that, you know, your friend Lucy was telling you was here and you didn't believe her.
If I see a potty chair in any room, it doesn't even have to be a basement.
I think I'm fucking done, dude.
Potty chairs are creepy.
I might pop a squat.
I don't know.
This is just a very like.

(01:02:58):
Hey, look at that.
There's a person in the basement.
I guess this would be in a very emotional part of the movie.
Like you haven't believed your friend this whole time.
She killed herself because you didn't believe her.
And now you find the torture basement.
Wait, she might have been right.

(01:03:18):
She killed herself because she was a fucking schizophrenic.
Well, yeah.
Yeah. But I mean, you know, the final thing was like, oh, shit, you don't believe me.
Yeah. She's going to have some guilt over this item.
Yeah.
I just think like, God, how shitty must that feel?

(01:03:39):
Yeah. But kind of what a relief.
Like, thank God that was such a chore.
I don't have to fucking be a mom to someone now.
Yeah. To someone bigger and stronger than me, who's crazy.
It must be the relief women feel when they have abortions, right?
I don't know.

(01:03:59):
Maybe even more so because you only got to deal with the fetus for a little bit.
Like, I think I could be like, you know, really supportive.
But 15 years.
18 years. She got you for 18 years.
Yeah.

(01:04:21):
And we're bringing the basement dweller into the light of day.
This is a symbolism.
This is the image of what I looked like the last time I went to jail.
Yeah, this is a full day of playing video games.

(01:04:43):
You don't realize that it's the next morning.
Yeah. I've got my metal diaper on.
Yeah. Yeah. She brought this lady upstairs.
She brought this lady upstairs and the lady's wearing nothing but like a metal
diaper looking thing and a metal oculus looking thing.

(01:05:05):
A metal diaper is fucking heinous, dude.
And also barbed wire around her stomach.
Yeah, she's it's definitely fashion over form.
Yeah. She's definitely trying to make a statement here.
Anna does. It's starting to hit on it.

(01:05:29):
Oh, wait.
I can't do anything about this.
My healing powers have no effect.
Yeah.
Let's go get in the bathtub and I'll throw the toaster in there with you.
I mean, honestly,

(01:05:51):
though, I think you just mercy kill at this point, right?
That's what I'm saying. Yeah.
I'm just gonna throw the toaster in the bathtub.
It'll be fine.
Yeah. And this lady can't see anything because of her metal oculus.
And so she doesn't know where the fuck Anna is leading her.
And then all of a sudden she's in a tub of water.
It's strange.
It hasn't had any of the green mush in a while, I guess, because she's

(01:06:16):
very skinny.
Gallator.
Yeah.
Strange bathtub in the middle of a room.
Well, she can't see how strange the bathtub is.
And it's strange.
Yeah, it's really not that strange. A lot of bathtubs are like this.
This is a normal bathroom situation.
A lot of. Yes.
Absolutely not.
And then the showers, it's in the showers, its own separate little area.

(01:06:37):
Yeah.
Okay, Lisa, look at this room.
This is weird.
It's really not that weird, though.
Like, it's okay.
Yeah, I guess I don't know about the finer fucking bathrooms in life.
I, you know,
rent shitty houses.
Yeah, the metal Oculus is nailed into her head and Anna's taking the metal, taking the nails out.

(01:07:08):
And it is not an enjoyable experience for anyone involved.
Pretty rough.
Oh, my God.
The swamp.
The slime.
Yeah, the way she ripped it off and it was like a layer of slime.

(01:07:29):
Don't put dry towel on it.
Yeah.
Fused to her head.
Yeah.
Yeah, and then she just puts a towel over her head.
I mean, your eyes are going to be super sensitive to fucking light for sure.
She's going to water.
Your full-fledged column at this point.

(01:07:57):
But when you get rid of your first Lucy, what you don't want to do is go straight into adoption.
Yeah.
You know.
Yeah.
I think you got to you've you've earned some me time.
Well, she said I can't help you.
And then she just immediately started helping her.
I mean, she's.

(01:08:18):
And sometimes by helping, we hurt.
I think we should have just put her down.
I think Anna might be a martyr.
She's apologizing to the corpse of Lucy.
Hey, you were right.
There's a crazy torture basement here.
I knew this whole family were torturers.

(01:08:40):
You think it was a family gig?
Yeah, dude, the little girl was in on it, too.
I don't think so.
Dude, the parents were like trying to like get them into the family business.
That's why they wanted that boy to be a lawyer instead of a.

(01:09:00):
Pastry chef like a big dummy.
Yeah.
Yeah, they needed a fucking lawyer in the family so they could, you know,
find loopholes in the laws and shit.
Like, you know, metal diapers are fine.

(01:09:21):
Yeah.
Basement ladies out of the tub and trying to cut her own wrist.
Lucy number two.
I mean, she's sawing that fucking wrist.
Well, it's just fucking bone.
Yeah.
Yeah, and it doesn't affect her.

(01:09:43):
She's still just running crazy.
Scraping her head against that wall.
Yeah, just rubbing her head on walls and.
Now this basement lady shares a striking resemblance to the razor demon.
I think now she just got shot in the head.

(01:10:03):
Who the fuck shot her in the head, though?
The BSAA.
Black ops looking lady.
That's Chris Redfield.
Yeah.
I think the same scene happens in Resident Evil 8.
Yeah, it is.

(01:10:27):
Who's the girl on the couch?
Lucy.
Lucy, who?
Lucy Gerard.
Lucy Gerard.
And you?
She's on a.
It's been a while since we've tried to get a nice phone.
It's been busy.
The phone wasn't hooked.
It shouldn't have happened.
Yeah, these people have been trying to call for hours.
The phone was off the hook.
Anna, raising a barn.

(01:10:49):
Put the phone back on the hook, dude.
Yeah, and this lady's going to drag her out by her hair.
Dragging her to the basement by her hair.
Have another beer.
Smell this one.
Is it really?
Oh, OK.

(01:11:10):
Sorry, I didn't know you were going to be a beer drinker.
And I would have got some more.
Yeah, bro.
OK.
Yeah, these people have came in and
chained Anna up in the basement.
And started.
Bury in fucking bodies.
At the septic tank the Sigourney Weaver was wrenching on her.

(01:11:34):
Yeah, she made the perfect
body burying hole.
Oh, yeah.
While she was finding that rat in the
pipes.
Oh, man, who's this stylish
old lady?
Wearing a turban herself.
Yeah.
Yeah, she says, oh, Lucy escaped
15 years ago, didn't she?

(01:11:56):
Yeah, we were less organized
back then.
Lucy's only a victim
like all the others.
It's easy to create a victim.
So this was an organized
ring the whole time?
Yep.
A cartel of torture.
Yeah.

(01:12:18):
You just create victims.
And you make them see
things that don't exist.
Just very curious about
Lucy's visions.
Lucy number two kept seeing cockroaches
all over. That's why she's scraping her head on the wall.
Yeah.
That'll do.
Mm-hmm.
Martyrs are very rare.

(01:12:40):
Victims are everywhere.
But martyrs are extraordinary.
Martyrs train
martyrs transcend
themselves.
Let me show you some pictures.
She's still alive.
Look at her eyes.
This one's alive, too. Look at her
eyes. Ordinary
housewife and atheist.

(01:13:02):
Look at her eyes.
They tried everything. Even
children.
But women are the most responsive.
Young women. Can't be
fucking old women. Yeah.
Good thing I'm safe.
Yeah. Turban lady would never
be a martyr. Yeah.
Why do you think it's
young women?

(01:13:26):
Well, what the fuck
was that pump fake?
I'm gonna come back.
Just kidding. Eat this napkin.
Yeah.
What the hell?
I think I saw you gasp
and breathe in the chloroform.
Yeah. They're very
organized now.
They don't make mistakes like they did 15

(01:13:48):
years ago. Maybe they use
uh. The process got fucking
toppled by a fucking schizo
skeleton.
So it's not doing so great.
Yeah.
You know, Lucy's been a problem
for 15 years now.
Do you think they use
women? Because like, uh,
you know, with like, you know, child

(01:14:10):
birth and stuff, you kind of almost sacrifice
yourself in a
martyrish sort of way.
Maybe that's why women are more
receptive to being martyrs.
Uh, I think it's because
systemically and statistically
uh,
women have a higher capacity
for uh, psychological
development than men.

(01:14:32):
Mm-hmm. Just in general.
Yeah.
Maybe they
also just make like
better torture victims.
Well, they have a higher pain threshold
to...
And they're hotter.
Mm-hmm. Makes a better
movie.
There's more holes.

(01:14:54):
Alright.
So
Anna's straight up in the torture basement now.
She's...
Yeah. We're gonna make a martyr
of her. Yeah. She's chained up
now. She's either gonna be a victim
or she's gonna be a martyr.
Either way, you pissing in that chair.
Yep.
Do you suppose you guys would farewell

(01:15:16):
uh, in isolation?
Eh.
No, man.
With like, right here with
literally nothing to do.
Uh, I probably wouldn't do very well.
But I think I could do well like in a
nursing home or something if I had, you know,
like a game boy. And
you know, like a bunch of pain
medicine that they give old

(01:15:38):
people. Yeah. I'd probably
have the time of my life.
Yeah. And here they are
to feed Anna some of the...
Pitiful pudding.
Yeah. Like gross fucking goo.
Just gagging it out.
Yeah. No. Gagging it out.
They said sit up bitch.

(01:16:00):
You get more.
They really want her to eat.
God damn, they want her to eat that soup.
Yeah. Yeah.
You spit your food out,
we're gonna slap you.
What a terrible meal.
And they're just shoveling it in too

(01:16:22):
like so fast.
Nom nom.
And she keeps having to spit it out cause
her mouth's just so full.
Very
clinical
or, you know,
cold. The setting is for sure.
Uh huh.
Like...

(01:16:46):
Not your typical torturers I guess.
They're not relishing in the
pain or the torture
itself. They just want to feed that
lady and go back to whatever the fuck they were
doing. Is it a pee?
She's peeing in the bucket.
A pee for the pale?
She's not happy about it.
Not proud of it.
Well, I think this is

(01:17:08):
the least of your worries. Yeah.
Just pee in the pot, man.
Yeah. Don't know how much time
is passing, but time
is definitely passing.
Now there's a man coming in.
Oh, he's letting her go.
That's cool.
I hope you enjoyed your stay at our
Airbnb.

(01:17:30):
Best five stars.
Slap the shit out of her.
Damn.
She makes a run for it, but that was a bad
decision. That shit gets
fucking gut punched.
It was a test,
bitch. Ha ha, you failed.
Beat the shit out of you now.

(01:17:54):
Knocked her out
and woke her back up so we could knock her out again.
That's fucking brutal.
God damn it. Geez.
Just punch her while
she's knocked out.
She was on her way down and
he fucking
assisted her.

(01:18:16):
Oh, they're giving her the haircut.
Here's the mad
mistress of mayhem.
This is a...
It's not even like a more economic
use of energy or time than just bringing out
the clippers.
Exactly. This is a...

(01:18:38):
Just buzz cut these people.
A well-funded organization.
And there's not a set of clippers
too?
No, we've got these dull scissors.
Oh, she didn't get it as mad.
She just gave up halfway. Fuck it.
Bitch is crying.
Not a terrible haircut.
Not comparatively.

(01:19:00):
We've seen her...
We've seen her other work.
Could have been worse.
Have they not tried one time to make a better
meal for these people?
Listen, we got one recipe.
Everybody just spits this back
all over my shirt.

(01:19:22):
Maybe I should make
something else.
All I've got is MREs and
water.
Try carrots.
This guy's back to
beat her some more.
I'm assuming like weeks have passed
at this point. She just gives her daily pea
soup and fucking
beating.

(01:19:44):
Maybe.
We don't know. We don't know how much
time has passed.
Well, I hope all this didn't go down in one
day. Well, I know it's not one
day, but we don't know how long it
is.
That's a lot of fucking soup for one day.
No wonder she's spitting
it out.
She has had the only...

(01:20:06):
Only the one pea
pail though.
Oh, sponge bath time.
This is the first bath we've seen.
Oh, but it's pea
pail bath.
I don't want to be
pea pail bath.
I don't know.
That was just water.
Yeah, I got it.

(01:20:28):
We'll see what happens, I guess.
They gave her a buzz cut.
They did give her an actual buzz cut.
They said,
uh,
we were less organized than...
I think once you get the pea
soup like all in your hair and it gets all
crusty, I mean, might as well just
shave it off.
This lady's scrubbing real hard.

(01:20:50):
Yeah. Not very gentle
these people. Yeah.
Yeah, sponge baths, I thought they were
hot. Yeah.
Isn't very hot.
Mm.
Didn't even do her boobies.
Yeah.
God damn it. She's

(01:21:12):
beating so
merciless, dude.
He's just rubbing her head and then...
He's the big boy and she's
the tiny, tiny girl.
Uh huh.
Oh, man.
She's still trying.
Yeah, she's trying to fight back
still.
I'm amazed she can even lift those chains

(01:21:34):
up still. Uh huh.
Wrecked.
Get knees to the face
are rough, man.
Yeah.
See, that's what I think. I think
that talking to myself
would happen like so fast.
Yeah, dude, like day one or two.
Uh huh. Yeah.
For sure. A couple minutes.

(01:21:56):
Yeah, dude.
Big time. And then I think I'd be fine
because I'd be so batshit
so fast. I'd be like, it was fine. Whatever.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah, I would break really fucking fast in this
little... Well, it's just like, I'd
see... I think though if I go
apeshit, it'll be like the giddy
kind, I think. Right.
Yeah. Like looking forward to

(01:22:18):
the daily beatings almost. Yeah.
Like I'll have a boner about
it.
Yeah.
Now she hears someone talking to
her.
Or maybe reminiscing
of the past. Yeah.
Her talks with Lucy.
Yeah, thinking back on her talks with Lucy.
Be honest,

(01:22:42):
Lucy wasn't a very
good friend.
I think Ana had the hots
for Lucy, which
I think makes sense. Listen, it wasn't Lucy's fault.
You know, Lucy needed to go
on. I agree. She should have gone and killed all these
people. Right. Yeah.
I think that might be why Ana
stuck around a little bit longer than I think
anybody else would. She's trying to

(01:23:04):
get in them pants, you know.
Well, the lady's here to feed her her pea soup
for the day. And today
it's delicious. Yeah, she's enjoying
it, it seems like. She's not
spitting it out or anything.
Completely giving in
at this point. I'm just going
to eat the soup. Also,
I'm going to save my poops
for during the feeding.

(01:23:26):
I'm going to poop in my
bucket while you're feeding me. Yeah.
Exclusively.
If I can even generate poop off
of whatever this pitiful
pudding is. Uh huh.
Here's
this guy just beating her on a mattress.
Go to sleep.
Sleep.
Sick of you

(01:23:48):
having cheekbones.
Yeah.
Strange music choice
for that pit, right? Mm-hmm.
Ah, damn, her eyes are swollen
shit. Eyes wide shut.
Yeah.
She's not scared now.
The makeup department in this film
really went off. Yeah.

(01:24:10):
Oh, so
it was filming this stuff.
I understand now why they would say
it was kind of a rough shoot. If the
director was like keeping them isolated
for like this stuff, I get it.
Yeah.
That's sort of rough.
She'll be alright, your suffering's almost over.
Only one more
stage. Yeah.

(01:24:32):
And this dude's going to carry her
into this weird
contraption.
Hyperbolic time chamber.
Dropping her in.
Yeah, this is an organization that has
too much money because you could
have just put her on her stomach
on a bed. No.
No, you need her to be all exposed.

(01:24:54):
Cut the clothes off.
After you've already strapped her in.
What are they doing?
I don't know where he put
those scissors at, but she's not liking it.
Now she's in a wheelchair.
Covered in a sheet.
A bloody sheet.
Yeah.
And yeah, I think she's been flayed.
Yeah.

(01:25:16):
Yeah.
She sure has.
The skin is no longer with us.
Oh, God.
Those feet.
Yeah.
Bit of suspicious.
Oh, God.
It's just the face left.
Yeah.
Oh, the skin's gone except the face.

(01:25:38):
Why'd they leave the face?
I don't know, but it's so creepy looking.
Dude's got to go change.
Change out of his beaten clothes.
Show us the ingredients for this
dark-sided blended beverage you
keep producing for our guests.
Yeah, dude.
You're licking your fingers.
There's no way it's good.

(01:26:00):
She's the only one who likes it.
She said, I think it's great.
She just keeps making it for everybody.
Just like Grandma Ma made showing the
purge.
The beater and the feeder, I guess,
are leaving, are living in the
house or, I don't know, working
from there.
And he's watching,

(01:26:22):
washing up to, I don't know,
go watch the game or something.
He took a whole-ass shower but missed
this spot of blood on his neck.
How?
Well...
Dudes don't really wash themselves
very well in the shower.
You know, they assume the water

(01:26:44):
hits it so it's clean.
I'm going to go get some water.
I'm going to go get some water.
Yeah.
She went down to feed her and she's never
seen an expression like this.
She let go.
Completely. It's her eyes.

(01:27:06):
She's alive, but look at her eyes.
Look at her
eyes. Yeah.
She sees nothing
around her, but she's looking.
She's definitely alive.
Stare at the ceiling for a little while,
I guess.

(01:27:28):
They think you're a martyr now.
Yeah.
How do the French say it?
Martyr.
I think it's just like that.
Goes great with fish.
Yeah.
I think we're seeing the
afterlife right now.

(01:27:50):
Wormhole.
Bright white light.
She has seen what lies beyond.
This is just a bright white
light. Mortal
realm.
The

(01:28:12):
fuck was
that?
Here's
the old
lady coming to
see.
I'm not an engine guy.
Mercedes.
Mercedes.

(01:28:34):
Mercedes.
Mercedes.
So laid out.
This old lady's happy.
Yeah, she loves
martyrs.
She's so excited to see what's happening
right now.

(01:28:56):
Her old pussy is
moist down there.
I got her in a tub of goo now.
I got her in a tub of goo now.
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
Did you see the other world?
Honest whispering something to the old lady.
What's she saying?
Secrets of the universe.
Uh huh.

(01:29:18):
She saw the other world.
Ten years from now
I will introduce a drug called
Ozambique.
I just figured it'd be like
eldritch screeching
like
That's what it should be.
Now all the old people
are showing up to the house to see

(01:29:40):
what's happening.
Very stigmata.
Of course it's a bunch of fucking old people.
They're the worst.
Yeah, in 20 years they could be our president.

(01:30:12):
Yeah, yesterday in this very
house Anna was martyred.
Anna got martyred.
She's only the fourth
to get martyred in 17 years.
And the first to have relayed
what she saw in the other world.
Her state of ecstasy lasted
two hours and fifteen minutes.
The old lady heard her testimony

(01:30:34):
and she's going to share with them in a moment.
Old lady's taking off all her makeup.
Naked.
Naked.
Yeah.
Crystal clear.
Precise.
She's taking off her turban.
Can you imagine what there is after death?
No, mademoiselle.

(01:30:56):
Yeah, she takes a gun out of her purse.
Keep doubting.
And then blows her freaking
brains out.
Yeah, she's taking off her turban.
brains out.
brains out.
Martyr.
Non adjective

(01:31:18):
div.
Dugrega martyrus.
Timon.
Timon.
Pfff.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
And here's Anna.
And here's Anna.
And here's Anna.
Comes after death.

(01:31:40):
Comes after death.
She said.
Reruns of Paw Patrol.
Ha ha ha.
Can you kill me now please?
Ha ha ha.
Yeah.
Aww, it's just Lucy.

(01:32:04):
I haven't seen this movie
in probably
a decade.
Maybe more.
Oh god, it's already 2025.
Okay, so more.
It was more.
Yeah.
This is still such a fucking banger.
Yeah.
This movie is fucking great, dude.

(01:32:26):
It's such a good movie.
Damn good movie.
N credits with Lucy and Anna.
Playing as kids.
Playing.
Fucking creepy in the woods.
Yeah.
Creepy in the woods.
What a good movie.

(01:32:48):
Yeah.
I'm happy to see you
redeem yourself after the
slaughtered vomit dolls
debacle.
Yeah.
It's about time you picked a good one, Leif.
Yeah, dude, I fucking love this movie.
It's probably one of my
favorite movies.
Yeah, it's so good.

(01:33:10):
It's probably
the best depiction of
like, survivor's
guilt that I think
I've ever seen.
A lot of parallels to
like I said, Silent Hill 2.
If I was a smart person
I'd probably write a paper
on it or something. Probably get a
PhD off of it.

(01:33:32):
Yeah. So there you go.
That's a free
PhD right there to whoever needs
it. Yeah. It's not really how
dissertations work. It's fine.
I've seen it on Cannibal Ferox.
Yeah. Oh, that's right.
That's right. Yeah.
But yeah, it has been a while since
we've seen like a really fucking good movie.
Yeah, it has. I guess

(01:33:54):
we needed, we needed this.
We did. To
lift our spirits.
And our cocks.
I've been hard for an hour.
Especially when some beatings
took place. Yeah.
Boing, boing, boing, boing.
Well, like I said, I really wanted to do this movie
because it was one of the first ones that

(01:34:16):
we watched when you first started getting
into extreme horror. Yeah.
And, you know,
it's been a little
over a year since we recorded our first
podcast episode.
Yeah. So I
wanted to do something special for that.
Yeah, we watched this, I think, about
two years ago, maybe a little more
less.

(01:34:38):
Yeah, something like that. Have you been like
perpetually and consistently
disappointed with everything
you've watched since then?
Kind of.
Well, I mean, we
I don't know, man. We watched so many
good ones.
We did watch
the beginning because we had like a little marathon
of fucked up movies. It was Martyrs. It was

(01:35:00):
a Serbian film. It was Inside,
another French movie.
Serbian's good, Tim. Yeah.
So we watched like
the good ones. Yeah.
And then
got up in the trenches.
Now we're just the atheists in the foxholes.
Yeah.
We sure are.

(01:35:22):
Yeah, dude, I love this movie, man.
Not much
bad to say about it.
No. I do think
the first half is probably
my favorite up until I think
Lucy Commits
Suicide is a fucking
literal perfect
movie other than
I don't know how she cuts her own back

(01:35:44):
piece of. I do take issue with that
one part.
I don't know. I guess
you could reach maybe.
I don't know. I guess a little weird.
I don't know why, because I
really think that
the woman that child
Lucy sees
the razor demon
and the basement

(01:36:06):
lady are the same
person. They are.
The only thing I could
how I justify the razor
to the back is
we discount
like traumatic disorders
and like schizoaffective disorders
and stuff because, you know, the
progenitor of that disorder is
internally based. And it's so

(01:36:28):
it's like
it's very easy to discount from
onlooker because it doesn't feel
real because you're not experiencing it.
But for someone experiencing it, it is
very fucking real.
So
I justify the backstabbings
that way. So I was like
for Lucy that she was really getting stabbed in the
back. Yeah.

(01:36:50):
I mean, I think she was because Anna stitched her up
and I think
Anna's seeing, you know, reality.
Maybe Lucy's just a very flexible
person and she can slice her own back
up. I could
jab myself a few times. Yeah.
I could probably, I don't know.
Yeah, well, I think that
when you see Anna
stitching her back up, it's not

(01:37:14):
as bad as what it looked like
when it was just Lucy's perspective
to. The cuts
weren't nearly as bad
as what you first
saw. I also don't know why
this secret society
has kept
the basement lady
for, I
don't know, fucking 20 years at

(01:37:36):
this point. She's obviously not going to
martyr. And
you put a fucking metal visor
on her head so you can't see the eyes
at all. So what are you doing?
Well, so like
that's the issue with any
movie like this where like it's
an organization with some secret endeavor
that they, you know,

(01:37:58):
you know, falsely inflate
to reconcile the like insane
shit they're doing. It's always nonsense.
So
everyone's
line is going to be different where like
the nonsense is like acceptable.
I think all of that part is
nonsense. I'm assuming
it works the same way. It's like
you know, any kind of organization

(01:38:20):
that gets funding from
any kind of source. They
always got to have something happening like
you know, oh, we're spending all the money
on this one basement lady.
Yeah. Well, we got Roach Girl down there.
You know, someone's got to buy these
peas. We still need the pea soup
budget because we still have basement
lady. Yeah.
Yeah.

(01:38:42):
And these beatings are not going to pay
for themselves. Yeah. My guys on
Korea team. You think that shit's free?
Yeah.
I definitely do love this movie. I don't think it
a lot of people call it, you know, like
torture porn in the same vein
of like Saw and
Hostel. I don't think it's that at
all. I think it
really is a movie of like pain and suffering

(01:39:04):
and guilt.
Also, Saw didn't feature one
good actor in the entire franchise.
And maybe no
clever writing either.
Oh, man. Dude,
it's all one when the dude fucking stood
up. No, it's all one.
It's the one exception that was good
or whatever the fuck he says. And

(01:39:26):
then everything after that was garbaz.
Garbazino.
So no,
I guess
yeah, it's probably belongs in the same
genre. But
this one was like actually
like
artful. Yeah.
I think it kind of
comes down to like, you know,

(01:39:48):
there's a big difference between
seeing
somebody being skinned
alive and
seeing somebody
that has been
skinned alive.
Seeing the act and seeing the
result, I think
are two different things.
Yeah, for sure.

(01:40:10):
Because we didn't see it.
It's a sad fucking movie.
And, you know, I think
it's kind of one of the detriments when we kind of
just watch the shit together. We're kind of just, you know,
talking shit the whole time.
So it doesn't hit as
hard like with all the
movies, honestly, because
yeah, dude,
when I watch this shit like this by myself

(01:40:32):
or just me and Lisa,
this is a sad fucking movie,
man. Oh, it's incredibly depressing.
But it's also,
you know, because the nihilistic thing
you can tell. Yeah.
Because
it is nihilism gets a bad
rap. It's a two sided
coin, just like any sort of paradigm
is, you know, on the one hand,

(01:40:54):
you can successfully achieve martyrdom,
I guess, and see through the veil.
But the secret is the same either
way. It's just like there is
nothing afterwards. Get fucked.
So, like,
some people find that incredibly
depressing. Others,
like me, find
that incredibly comforting.
Yeah.

(01:41:16):
No responsibilities.
Well, it's like, well, there's no real
permanence to anything. So,
like, get a grip.
Like, it's not that deep, you know.
Also, that's what I wanted to discuss.
Like, OK, so
Anna, you know, sees the other side.
She tells the old lady about it.
Yeah. And the old lady just shoots
herself. Yeah. So, like,

(01:41:38):
what did she see on the other side that
this lady
decides she needs to
kill herself?
You know what I mean? Well, she
either learned that
she's a stupid bitch.
And that the, you know, her life's endeavor was fruitless.
Or she learned

(01:42:00):
that the real and only catharsis
imaginable is a total
absence of sensation
and awareness at all.
Which, you know, is why for some
of us every now and again
munching on a bullet
just doesn't seem like that bad a deal.
So, like,
maybe try suicide.

(01:42:22):
You know?
What do you think?
What do you think it was, Liz?
What's the answer?
I don't know.
That's what I'm saying.
Like, I really
liked the ending because it doesn't
just give you the answer.
Like, you know, she
whispers to the lady what she saw.
Yeah. And then the old lady
gathers everybody there.

(01:42:43):
And then before she goes to the
other side, she says,
she gathers everybody there.
And then before telling them anything, she just
shoots herself.
Right.
So it's like whatever
Ana told her she saw
was obviously what the old lady wanted.
You know what I mean?
Because she was like, oh, well, I have to have that now.

(01:43:05):
I have to kill myself to go to the other side.
Sort of a French
story.
Yeah. Yeah.
A lot of French stuff I've read
and like, and then everyone dies.
Yeah. Sort of a
dick move. I always really like it.
Old lady's part.
I know. Like, why gather everybody there
and then shoot yourself before you even tell

(01:43:26):
them anything?
I'm here for it.
That's, you
know. Yeah.
Yeah. I think it's kind of one of those things
like the question is always better than the answer.
You know, I think if it would have went any
other way, like if it had
an answer, it would have sucked.
Yeah.
Oh, it would have for sure.

(01:43:47):
I think so, too.
It's like the it's like the briefcase in
Pulp Fiction.
They keep opening the briefcase and it's glowing
and it's like, oh, it's in it.
And you never find out.
And it's just so much cooler because you don't find
out.
Yeah, man. I don't know.
Like, you know, I guess my first
thought, because, you know, we're all
kind of like raised Christian.
You always kind of like go like, oh,

(01:44:09):
heaven, hell. But I mean,
nobody knows what's on the other side.
Really? It could be
an elder tentacle monster
just screeching.
Well, that's the thing is like, I don't
even even the heaven, hell
situation.
Neither of those outcomes sound ideal
to me.
And it makes no sense to how

(01:44:30):
like the old lady acts.
You know what I mean?
Right. Right.
Right. By no means would she go to
heaven. And if she is going
to hell, why would she fucking
shoot herself? So like, I think that's
just out.
Whatever it was, she
wanted to get there as fast as possible.
And she didn't want to tell anybody about
it because she's a dick.

(01:44:51):
And I assume
this whole society just keeps going
and torturing young women.
I guess the moral of the story
is eat the rich.
I thought it was beat young women.
Yeah.
Well, you know, take what
you will from the story.
Fuck old people. Old rich
people, dude.

(01:45:12):
They're gross. Bad news.
It was all old people that showed
up. Yeah.
Looked like a fucking congressional meeting.
Hey.
All right, Lisa, give me your star
rating and your what the fuck moment.
All right.
My star
rating.
I think I'm going to have to give this

(01:45:33):
one five stars because it's
the only opportunity I'm going
to have to give a five star movie on
this podcast.
No fucking way.
This is an unprecedented moment.
Lisa gave something five stars.
Yeah, I have to.
It's the only movie that's ever going to be
five stars on this podcast.

(01:45:55):
OK, there's been a few
five star movies on this podcast.
No, you just choose not to
rate them first of all.
You're just a bitch.
No, you're just a bitch.
It's going to be my only five star movie
on this podcast. We'll see.
We'll find you something good.
We'll see.
Yeah. Yeah.
So fucking star. Five stars.

(01:46:19):
Because, yeah, I really do like this
movie. Like, this is a movie
that I would watch just to
watch.
Yeah.
I'm not just watching it because we're
doing this podcast, you know?
Yeah. Yeah.
I've actually watched this one like three, four
times. Yeah, it's a damn good movie.
It's fucking sad and a little depressing,
but it's really fucking good.

(01:46:41):
Uh huh. My what the fuck moment
is going to be
the first shot we get of
full body Ana
with no skin, except
for her face. Skin
peeled off and
just the face remaining.
Yeah. It's pretty
creepy. Yeah, it was. Yeah.
And it was it was

(01:47:03):
yeah, like we're saying, like it's just a fucking
sad, depressing moment, whereas
you know, a lot of the movies we watch
like, you know, something like bouquet of
guts and gore.
It's just kind of a fun time.
Yeah.
I guess. But
yeah, that's that's gotta be my what
the fuck moment.
Oh, yeah. Because it was creepy.

(01:47:27):
All right, Bo, what's your star rating
and what the fuck moment?
I'm going to go with you
on the five stars.
Yeah.
Love it.
Uh huh.
What the fuck moment's probably going to be
the stupid,
the stupid mom
character

(01:47:49):
being
trying to hobble
out with Ana.
Being like, why did she do this?
Yeah.
Uh huh.
Excuse me.
Still, pardon me.
Fuckin
straight face.
Liar, dude.

(01:48:11):
The fuck you mean?
Yeah, because you know she was on
pea soup duties. Yeah.
Yeah.
Fucking shot in the gut. She's still
just sticking to the story.
And obviously
she had an unwashed vagina
because
what apparently marred

(01:48:33):
dear Lucy the most was the scent
of this woman.
I could smell her.
Oh, god.
So, uh, yeah.
That'll be my what the fuck moment
because she's, why would she do
this? Yeah.
Excuse. I, I know.
What?
What about you, Chris?

(01:48:55):
I'm just starting what the fuck moment.
Well, I guess I'll give this
one five stars too.
Okay. Five stars all
the way around. Yeah.
Unprecedented moment. Uh huh.
Feels good.
To finally have a good movie. Yeah, it does.
I disagree with you, Lisa. I think we've
had a few pretty fucking good movies.

(01:49:17):
We've had a few bangers. Yeah,
we've had a few okay movies. A few surprise
hits too.
Like Daddy. Daddy.
Damn good. Lisa did not like Daddy.
Yeah, I disagree. I haven't.
Tokyo gore police.
Yes.
For different reasons. Yeah.
I've been wanting to sing the
praises of Daddy because I don't think

(01:49:39):
nobody talks about that movie.
I had never heard
of her or this film. Yeah.
But that's unfortunate.
Can't convince anybody
to watch fucking Daddy, I guess.
People should watch it.
Yeah. Watch fucking Daddy.
Anyway,
my what the fuck moment.

(01:50:01):
Damn.
I guess it's going to be
when Anna's just getting the shit
kicked out of her.
I don't know.
Months. But there's this one
particular moment where she's
up against the wall and the dude's just
beating the fuck out of her.
It's bad. Yeah.
I think she passes out and

(01:50:23):
she starts falling down.
And as she's falling down,
he fucking
hooks her right in the fucking face.
Yeah, just knocks
her the rest of the way down.
It was brutal.
Yeah. Yeah, Kittis, that actress, she really flopped herself
around for a lot of this film.
Yeah. So did all the
actresses really. These women

(01:50:45):
yeah, fucking killed
her. Really had to do the damn thing.
All right, Lisa.
How spicy
is this movie?
This movie is
some really
good
nachos.
With extra
jalapenos.

(01:51:07):
Just real good nachos.
Yeah. Kind of like what you make
sometimes. Every once in a while
I'll make some good nachos. Every once in a while
I'll make some good ones.
Most of the time garbage.
Yeah. Yeah. He makes them like once a week.
But you know, every once in a while
they're good.
Sometimes
I cut half my fucking finger off.

(01:51:29):
That's true.
That wasn't nachos though.
That was fajitas.
A lot of Tex-Mex
going on in the what the fuck are you watching
studio.
That's all I know how to cook
anymore. Yeah, he only knows how to cook
Mexican food.
On an Asian journey.
Oh fuck, we got way off track.

(01:51:51):
Yeah, I got
some shit to do at the end. You don't know like
it. It's gonna take a minute.
It's gonna take a minute. I'm just telling you right now.
Okay, well it's ten o'clock and
you know. Well, you know, quit fucking around.
Damn, so sorry.
Bo, how spicy
is this movie?
This movie, Lisa,
is still spicy.

(01:52:17):
It is
a food that is
spicy.
You know foods.
Yeah, I know foods. Okay.
This is like
I can't think of anything
edible that exists.
Yeah, I was having the same problem.
This is like an

(01:52:39):
Auntie. What's Auntie
Anne's? What's the pretzel place?
Annabelle's?
Anna Kendrick's? I think it is Annie.
Annie's. Is it Anne?
Auntie Anne's? I think
so. Anna. I think
it is. Auntie Anna?
This is like a, yeah.
Scrum diddly-umptious,

(01:53:01):
warm baked pretzel.
And that last bite was just
all salt.
All salt.
That's my favorite bite.
And a salt, if you will.
I don't like salt.
I really like it on those pretzels.

(01:53:23):
I really like the salty bites.
I like the big, yeah.
Yeah, those big ridiculous pieces of salt.
Like how does that even happen?
Well, I don't know.
They need to get a good...
Did civilians buy that salt?
I've never seen it before.
I've never
searched it out, so I don't know.
True. Yeah, I guess I haven't either.

(01:53:45):
What would I put it on? I don't like salt.
It can't go on anything but a pretzel.
Yeah.
Maybe, I don't know. Some form
of potato? I don't know.
Yeah, there's fucking potato wedges or
something. Yeah. That crazy.
What about you? Could I stuff it? How spicy
is this philum? Okay.
I'm a little disappointed that nobody went with
pea soup. Well,

(01:54:07):
I couldn't because this movie was good,
so I can't make it sound bad.
Yeah. Yeah, true.
And pea soup's not good, even if
it's a good pea soup.
Yeah, there's no way
to make it good. Fuck that. It's an oxymoron.
Yeah,
like all I have anymore is
disgusting foods.
Yeah.

(01:54:29):
That and shit I know I've
already used before.
Okay. This is
kind of oddly specific
and I don't think anybody's going to get it,
but very few. Back in my
day, MREs
used to have
a meal called,
I think it was called
chicken penne pasta.

(01:54:53):
Probably
one of my least favorite
MREs.
But the sauce in there was very
green,
like a pesto. Yeah, it was a pesto
sauce.
Really gross, but
it usually came
with a pack of Skittles in it,

(01:55:15):
which is
kind of a rarity.
I was just about to say, was this one of the ones
with the candies? Yeah, yeah.
Every once in a while you get one with a candy
in it. A big bag of
Skittles too.
Not the fun size.
Full size bag of Skittles.
High trade value.

(01:55:37):
So
don't know where I'm going with that, but that's what it is.
Okay. Yeah, yeah.
Some of those MREs are fucking dark
siding. Yeah, dude.
Vegetarian omelet. None of them are great.
Some of them are pretty fucking good, man.
I think there's like all new shit
out now though. So. Well, I'm sure
I haven't had, I haven't seen any in
a long time. So, you know.

(01:55:59):
Yeah. Yeah, I think they're all
different now. So. Yeah. Just give
me food pills.
I don't, you know, I don't gotta
do all this pomp and circumstance.
Yeah, a lot of times I wouldn't even eat the main
main course out of them. You just
eat all the little snacky bits.
Like the bread and fucking peanut butter.
Pound cake.
But anyway.

(01:56:21):
All right, so all this stuff to do is slot
this one in on your leaderboard.
Okay. I wonder
where it goes.
Yeah.
Tough choice.
I think this is gonna be my new number
one movie. Yeah.
Your fucking
five star film
was the top of the list.

(01:56:43):
Yeah, I know, right? I fucking quit.
It almost seems
unfair because like this
movie. It's just
so much better.
And the budget
on it was pretty big, I think.
I think almost like two million dollars
or something. Yeah. I mean, you could tell
because it was like a real fucking movie.
Which I

(01:57:05):
can't remember the budget. We don't get those very often.
Yeah. I don't remember the budget
for a Serbian film, but I think
it was pretty high.
But usually like all
the movies we cover, the budget's like
five thousand dollars or something. Yeah.
Yeah. Hopes and dreams.
Yeah. So it's a little
unfair, but
our leaderboard.

(01:57:27):
It is and it isn't because
budget doesn't always mean good.
True.
Looking at you, Star Wars.
Bo, where's it gonna go on your leaderboard?
I'm gonna guess
probably number one as well.
So
Tokyo Gore Police is gonna

(01:57:49):
keep a special place in my soul.
Yeah. Yeah.
This does have to go above
above it though. So
I guess number one.
I don't know. Bloodshok was
a fucking banger, man.
Yeah. Yeah.
We got some good ones up here.
This one, rewatchability
wise, this is the best thing we've ever

(01:58:11):
watched. Yeah, for sure.
But Tokyo Gore Police, I think
is more of a fun time.
Oh, it's absolutely just a good time
gal. Yeah, it is.
This one is a little depressing.
This one. Yeah.
I think it kind of hurts the rewatchability
a little bit.
Yeah. Keep it at number one.
Yeah, I think so.

(01:58:33):
I try to keep rewatchability
as like the main factor, but
then, you know, this is just a quality
film. Yeah, I can't. I can't act
like Tokyo Gore Police is like a better
film. Yeah.
Even though I might like it more.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's really hard.
I'm having the same issue.
I think, you know,

(01:58:55):
because same with Bloodshok.
Bloodshok, they did
quite a bit with, like you said,
much less money.
You also can't forget that as
soon as anyone has fucking
aligned in that movie.
True. Yeah, we really
fucking
prick the balloon.
Yeah. Yeah.

(01:59:17):
This is just better.
Yeah, dude. I know. Let's see.
They're going to be martyrs or Tokyo Gore Police.
They might even be number one.
It's got to be martyrs.
I just love it. Our top
threes are all exactly the same.
Yeah, it doesn't start getting hectic
until like after the top 10, I think.
Shout out to Tokyo
Gore Police, though. I held the number one slot

(01:59:39):
for a long time.
A long time. It's a fucking banger.
It is. Yeah. That was a long
time ago. Twenty, twenty
weeks. Uh huh.
The number one slot for twenty weeks.
Martyrs highly recommended
from us here. What the fuck are you watching?
Uh huh.
Damn fine movie.
All right. So

(02:00:01):
next week
it is
Listener Request week.
Uh huh.
Now what we're doing this
week, we got
a ton of recommendations
from our artist
Silas.

(02:00:23):
Follow him
on Instagram. Psychonaut.
There's a
link in
the show notes.
He gave us
a ton of recommendations.
Now what I decided to do
was to put all those recommendations
on a wheel.
And we'll call it

(02:00:45):
the Wheel of Sodom.
So whenever it's
Silas's week, we'll just spin
the Wheel of Sodom and that will be the movie
we cover.
Lisa, go ahead and roll out the Wheel
of Sodom.
Keep it hot, though.
Lisa,
bring in, bring in

(02:01:07):
the Wheel of Sodom.
I made it out of salt.
Pillar of salt.
OK.
Oh, I see what
you did there.
I wanted to leave the boobies on
the wheel
from the pillar of salt.
But it was throwing off the
velocity of the wheel

(02:01:29):
and skewing
the results, so I had to take the boobies off.
Heaving
heaving bosoms.
Lisa, where's the fucking Wheel of Sodom?
Yeah, Lisa.
Fuck you and your wheel.
All right,
Lisa.
Not playing along, as usual.
Anyway.

(02:01:51):
All right, so we have the Wheel of Sodom here.
As of now, there are
28 entries on
the Wheel of Sodom.
God, now
I'm not going to go through all of them,
but we do have a couple
of
there's a couple of repeating requests
on here, like My Chance Daily Life
that we might end up doing

(02:02:13):
before we spin it on the Wheel
of Sodom.
Also, there's
philosophy of a knife
on the Wheel of Sodom.
Now, if you guys don't remember,
this was recommended to us
by James.
It is a four hour
long movie.
James

(02:02:35):
has since
rescinded his
request for philosophy of a knife.
He was afraid
that you guys would never forgive him
for doing that.
But
Silas has no such
qualms.
He doesn't care if we like him or not.
James, send in me pictures.

(02:02:59):
He didn't. He didn't.
God damn it, James.
Silas said that he
is recommending
philosophy of a knife as
a punishment to you too
for shitting
on a bouquet of guts
and gore.
You misunderstand a couple things

(02:03:21):
here, Silas.
The relationship with punishment does not
elicit the reaction you might anticipate.
Yeah.
We like punishment. Yeah.
A four hour long fucking movie punishment?
I can keep it hard for a very
long time.
Also,

(02:03:43):
you're not the fucking boss of me.
Yeah, so I
figure, you know, we only take punishment
from daddy. Yeah.
In a blindfold.
Your punishment's
on the
fucking wheeled sawed
so if we spin it, I

(02:04:05):
guess we're fucking watching it.
We'll see about
that.
It might be playing somewhere.
Someone might
be watching it. We barely made
it through fucking melancholy.
God damn, I was so concerned
that it would never end.
I know, I was so checked out.

(02:04:27):
I have a very like
good attention span.
I do not. I do.
I really do. God damn, that
film. Yeah, it was a rough one.
It was a rough one, dude.
Maybe it'll be good. Maybe the four
hours will fly by. I doubt
it. I'm sure.
I don't know, man.
I'm kind of I'm dubious.

(02:04:49):
I think anything longer than two and a half
is an ego stroke by a director
and it's almost never
a rewarding one for the audience.
There are very few exceptions.
I know. We'll have to figure out how to tackle that one when the time comes, I guess.
Yeah, I should probably be allowed to do drugs again by then.
Yeah.
All right. For now,

(02:05:11):
I'm going to go with
a
we will spin the wheel of Sodom.
See what it lands on.
OK. Lisa, spin the wheel.
OK. Fine.
Spinning the fucking wheel.
Click the fucking click the mouse.
There you go.
She can't even the disgust.

(02:05:33):
At the clicker.
There you go.
You can't even the disgust.
There's the clicker.
There you go.
The clicking of the mouse.
All right.
We have a winner.
Kill List 2011.
OK.

(02:05:55):
Well, hopefully our first
movie from the wheel of Sodom is a good one.
Hopefully you don't disappoint us already.
Silas.
I'm trying.
We have the name of the contributor listed for these films.
It's all Silas.
Yeah.

(02:06:17):
Silas.
This whole wheel is all his recommendations.
He loves eight recommendations.
Silas.
Now who needs to punish?
Naughty boy.
Dude, our our listeners have literally given us like a year worth of fucking shit to do.
Yeah.
I think I owe Silas a game of blind.

(02:06:40):
Yeah, dude.
I think I could be wrong because, you know, he gave me 28 recommendations.
But I think this is this one.
He said it was very important to go in blind.
I remember.
Yeah.
Let's watch this trailer.

(02:07:02):
Of course he wants us to go.
We're not going in blind.
We're watching the trailer.
I guess.
Listen, I'll go through this whole experience blind.
And death.
Looks like fucking Joe Biden.
Uh huh.
What the fuck?
Maybe not.
Sleepy Joe Biden.
Do it for corn pop.

(02:07:25):
Nerf shredding.
Gonna leave your.
Dude, we gotta work on like taglines like that, dude.
This will leave your bones rattling.
At the benchmark.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Or nerve shredding.
Uh, uh, uh, reeling in your heads are spinning.

(02:07:46):
OK.
Well, I still feel like we're going in blind because that trailer told us nothing.
It didn't.
All right.
Seems kind of interesting.
Yeah.
Like I said, hopefully it'll be good.
Hopefully he doesn't disappoint us with his first movie.
Yeah.
Hopefully all the movies are going to disappoint me.

(02:08:09):
Yeah.
Yeah, they will.
Anyway.
Yep.
Join us next week when we cover 2011's kill list.
Decided to see what Silas has in store for us.

(02:08:31):
Stop kicking that fucking table, please.
Anyway, God damn it.
Uh,
chicken.
I know.
Kill this next week on what the fuck are you watching?
Bye bitch.

(02:08:53):
Bye bitch.
That's damn good.
Did you think this podcast was as good as instant noodles or is it more like a cobalt blue tarantula?
Leave us a rating and review wherever you listen to this podcast.
Get in touch with us at WTF.
Are you watching pod at Gmail.com where you can leave reviews for the movies we've been watching.

(02:09:18):
Recommend other movies for us to watch or leave any questions or comments for us to answer.
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