Melancholie der Engel

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
You will be given a test to determine your ability to withstand shock.

(00:05):
Well, look who's here.
This is the night when fear and horror walk hand in hand.
Do you feel up to it?
The most terrifying form of evil is that which lurks within the human mind.

(00:25):
Rated X.
Welcome to What the Fuck are you watching?
We're a sometimes weekly movie podcast exploring the disturbing, the extreme
and everything in between.
I'm Chris and this is.
Hi, my name's Lisa.

(00:45):
I'm what some people call a sex addict.
It's Lisa.
Hello. How are you doing, Lisa?
I'm good. Good to hear.
And we're also joined by Bo.
Oh, my God. It's Bo.
Hey, how are you, Bo?
I'm good. How are you?

(01:08):
You sound good. Yeah. Great, even.
Yeah.
Do I am now?
Well, we didn't have an episode last week.
We've been ravaged by disease.
Yeah. Well, we might have AIDS.

(01:29):
Yeah. I think I don't think people are really tested for it anymore.
I for sure am.
I keep telling them I got AIDS, but they don't listen.
Oh, my God.
But we have risen from the ashes with a brand new fucking podcast artwork.

(01:51):
Yeah. Should be going up on this episode.
Uh huh.
Done by the one and only Silas does like artwork for all kinds of movies, man.
Did the artwork for worms, a bunch of other Sam Hill stuff, all kinds of stuff.

(02:12):
It's wild. Yeah.
We really like the worms artwork.
And we really like our podcast artwork.
Yeah, we do. What do you think of it?
I love it. I just kept staring at it.
And like the longer you look at it, the cooler it gets.
There's just so much detail in it.
Yeah, it's pretty amazing.
Somehow managed to make me look better than I already do.

(02:35):
Yeah, somehow.
Yes, because there's no personality to a picture.
You know what I mean? Yeah.
Well, it's when that, you know,
it's not that the color of the experience of you.
Right. I mean, accurately,
I am literally oozing personality in that picture.

(02:57):
Yeah, you're using.
I don't know if it's personality.
Yeah, I usually have a little bit more corny bits in my beard,
but, you know, that's just a little nitpick.
A largely corn based diet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
It's by the handful.
Yeah, just gobs. Yeah.
And I baby birded in Lisa's mouth.

(03:19):
Num num num num.
Yeah.
Do you like that?
That's the part where I say no, that doesn't happen.
But anyway, make sure to follow him on Instagram.
I'll be linking in the show notes.
It's a psycho not.
And, you know, he does all kinds of commissions and shit.
So if you need some shrieking gross artwork with like deflated boobies and stuff,

(03:43):
he's your guy.
He could probably also do like good looking boobies, too.
But just have to go over, go over with him.
You know, what do you want? Do you want good looking boobies?
Saggy gross boobs.
We got the saggy gross boobies, but I didn't specify what kind of boobies I wanted.
OK, I need a break for a second.
I
I

(04:12):
was going to be a good one.
Yes.
I straight up got home and played Call of Duty Zombies again,
because it's of my personality again.
I told Jack I never wanted to play Call of Duty.
So I played on a competitive team for a while and it really ruined me on it.
Mm hmm. But zombies is its own beast.
Yeah, it's good, solid fun.

(04:34):
Oh, my God. And they've made it so much better.
Really? Yeah.
And it was already great. So I fucking love it.
I got to end the fuck a Stardew Valley again.
That's that means another trap.
I can fucking I can waste.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
You put like 18 hours in, you're like, this wasn't enough.
No, I agree. I had months of my life went to that fucking game.

(04:57):
Like I would go to work, but then it was it was just Stardew Valley.
I it's like the perfect like sick game.
I started playing it when I got sick and it's like it's good.
It's like chicken noodle soup in game form.
Speaking of which, I when I was sick, I had a potato soup.
And that go down for you after our.

(05:20):
I got it. I forgot about that.
I got about halfway through before it.
I was like, oh, this looks exactly like the terrible meal soup.
Yeah. Oh, terrible meal. Terrible lunch.
Pack a lunch. Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, it was really hard to finish, man.

(05:41):
It really was because, yeah, it looked a lot like it.
I forgot about that when I bought it for you.
I was going to make chicken and dumplings last, but I made chili instead
because of our friend, terrible lunch.
Yeah, yeah.
I said, oh, so I've still got the chicken frozen.
So I'm like, I can't. Yeah, it's real, man.

(06:02):
It's real. Yeah.
I was so fucking hungry, though, and I was just scarfing it down.
And yeah, once I got, you know, a little full,
that's when brain started taking.
And I was like, wait a minute. Mm hmm.
Oh, and it was like almost the right.
It was thick, you know. Yeah.
Oh, God, I can't even think about it.

(06:24):
It was gross. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. And what you don't want to do is you're not feeling very good.
And you're making me want to throw up.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Lisa.
All right. Where the fuck are we?
Um, you talked about our artwork.
Fresh new artwork for a fresh new podcast.

(06:46):
Yeah. Fresh.
What's fresh and new?
The artwork. OK.
And, you know, just our vitality.
I don't think so.
Well, usually every time I get sick, like I always think about,
you know, all the times I wasn't sick and I was like, man, I took that for granted.

(07:07):
Mm hmm.
And so now that I'm starting to feel a little better, you know,
I got a new lease on life.
Well, hopefully I'll get there soon.
Yeah, I'm mostly like I'm in the.
Let's throw this body out the window.
All right. Yeah. Yeah.

(07:28):
Let's let this energy go to something more productive, like the ground.
Turn you into a nice potato garden.
Yeah, I could make some mean potatoes, I bet.
Oh, yeah, dude.
Because vodka was my diet for probably a good half of my life.
Oh, and mashed potatoes still going strong.

(07:49):
So, yeah, dude, I love mashed potatoes.
OK. We love all potatoes.
I really can't think of a bad form of potato.
No, not at all.
What's what's taters?
Yeah, dude, in the throes of my sickness,
I was smelling like buttered mashed potatoes.

(08:10):
And then I got kind of nervous because I thought that was
like a stroke sign. Yeah.
Yeah. Like I was like, my brain's actually melting because it's and it smells so good.
I hope when I die, I smell
about it, mashed potatoes and not my own evacuated bowels.
Yeah, dude. Yeah.

(08:31):
He said, do you smell?
Do you smell like mashed potatoes?
And I was like, I'm going to be honest with you.
I can't smell a fucking thing.
Jack and I take the places on this conversation a lot,
because every time I walked into my kitchen for the past couple of weeks,
it kind of smelled like something was burning to me as well,
even though fuck all was going on.
And Jack was like, you're you're losing your mind or I can't smell.

(08:54):
So I know I can walk outside and smell fresh dog shit.
So that's cool.
It works then.
Yeah, dude, I can get through anything.
And I can fucking smell that.
Now, if you were following us on Instagram,

(09:14):
you would have got a little sneak peek of our artwork.
So you should do that if you haven't.
You get all kinds of sneak peeks.
I've given you sneak peeks in the movies we might be covering in the future.
Plus the artwork, plus my Valentine's Day special edition barf
bucket, put that on there.

(09:35):
You could see it in the flesh every once in a while.
I put pictures of Lisa on her.
Yeah. And one of these days I will eventually actually do something on Instagram.
I have an Instagram. Yeah.
I yeah, you do.
I'm very hesitant to do anything on there because I really hate social media.

(09:55):
And even though I sound super cool on the podcast,
I am very awkward in real life.
Is that true?
Maybe it's not. Maybe it's all in my head.
She doesn't sound cool at all.
The awkward bit, for sure.
Cool.
Well, Lisa's been getting messages on Instagram and she just ignores them.

(10:18):
Is it about her boobs, though?
No. Oh, I wish I were.
She's got a nice rat, guys.
Ask her about it.
Yeah. So Silas gave us,
I don't know, fucking 30 recommendations.
So we're going to do something special with that to be revealed at a later date.

(10:43):
OK. Follow us on our Instagram to get fucking cool sneak peeks
and updates and shit.
WTF are you watching, Pod?
Follow Lisa and harass her.
Lisa WTF are you watching?
Bo doesn't have an Instagram yet.
I don't think he's going to make one.

(11:06):
I don't know. I don't know about her.
I'll get there one day.
I'll make eventually Jack will do one for me. Yeah.
I'll send a shout out to Oklahoma City.
Now, I don't know if we just have multiple people from Oklahoma City
listening to us or if it's just James
downloading our podcast on every device he owns.

(11:31):
But we got down a lot of downloads from Oklahoma City.
So shout out to them.
Fun fact about Oklahoma,
they're playing around with the idea of just completely banning porn.
Yeah. So I would like to take this opportunity to say that
we do not live in Oklahoma and never have.

(11:53):
Although it would be kind of cool to run like a pirate porno radio station.
We just review porns and stuff. Sure.
Shout out to Newcastle, Philadelphia.
Go birds. Yeah.
Fucking destroyed the chiefs.
Cannot believe it.

(12:14):
Hopefully Alex from Philly's celebrating.
Is every local from here a fucking Kansas City fan?
Because everyone is like catching to me like, oh, they got paid to lose the Super Bowl.
Yeah, because it's like the closest team to us.
Yeah. So pretty much everybody.
Yeah. So pretty much everybody here goes for the chiefs.

(12:35):
No, I go for the chiefs because go Taylor's boyfriend.
Yeah.
Shout out to the
shout out to Pistola Pistola.
Shout out to Shick Natati.

(12:57):
Are we just chatting as the piss and shit towns?
Yeah, he always just finds the weird ones.
Shout out to Christchurch. Christchurch.
I bet they enjoy it.
Shout out to a chorus.
Oh, wait, that's not a Chinese chores from Poland.
How do you say chores out in Poland and Polish?

(13:19):
The like hyper white languages are so
baffling, like audibly the way they sound and the way they're said.
Like their relationships with J's and K's and shit are so strange.
I don't know.
Yeah, I don't know how you would say it.
Oh, you know how, you know, you start like a
a survival game or whatever and you got to name the world

(13:42):
and the default name is New World.
Yeah. Mm hmm.
Shout out to New City.
I hope you come up with a name soon.
But that bitch is old as fuck.
Probably.
And a special shout out to first and first in Field Brook
and St. Nicholas Delos Garza.

(14:04):
Move the fuck on St.
Mars, Sir, Delac.
Whoa, Lisa, what the fuck are you watching?
Apparently, I'm watching something called Melancholy
Der Engel.
Tell you, 2009, I think it's translated to the angels

(14:25):
melancholy or something like that.
Melancholy during go.
Yeah, it's our first German movie, I think.
Yeah, I think so, because, you know,
Black Mass was not what it was supposed to be.
Not a German in that motherfucker.

(14:48):
This one's directed by Marion Dora,
written by Frank Oliver and Marion Dora, starring Zinza
Raggy, Karsten Frank, Frank Oliver, Jeanette Weller,
Bianca Schneider, Patrizia Johan, Peter Martell

(15:10):
and a whole lot of others.
Now, this is also our first Marion Dora movie.
Marion Dora seems to be a spicy boy.
OK.
On the cutting edge of the extreme cinema genre.
Almost crossing the line at some points.
Oh, he likes to fuck around with dead bodies.

(15:36):
A lot of real animal murder going on in this movies.
Of course, a lot of kind of questionable stuff.
But, you know, I guess that's the name of the game.
Sure.
He started in the early 90s, making short films,
making short films, Blue Snuff one and two.

(15:59):
Two was withdrawn because it was too extreme.
Hmm.
Made a movie called Cannibal in 2006.
There was like an Internet case.
Dude gets on the Internet and it's like,
found somebody that wanted to get eaten.
Mm hmm.
So this dude took him up on an offer, I guess, and ate him.

(16:21):
And now that you're talking about it, I've heard of it.
Yeah.
Mm hmm.
Anyway, he's a spicy boy, like I was saying.
Mm hmm.
Here's a little storyline for you.
That's very long.
Strap in.
A dark secret connects cats and brow to middle aged men.

(16:45):
Cats has the clue that his end is near, the two friends meet again after years to share
their last days in the old house where everything happened a long time ago.
With three women they met on their way.
The atmosphere begins to recur a second time.

(17:06):
Who wrote this?
There's no there's no credit or anything.
So fired.
Completely.
Completely anonymous.
Death to them all.
Yeah.
When Heinrich, an old artist, decides to attend after all, the friends have their last chance
to renew and cut with the history and to settle an old score.

(17:31):
In the melancholy of the near end, Katz passes again all the situations in his life.
In the hour of death, he is not alone anymore.
His body is gone and his soul stays back in the same place where his destiny and fulfillment
occurred.

(17:52):
Yeah.
That was a little wild.
Let me give you a little a different one.
This is the IMDB summary.
Two friends meet again to share their last days in an old house where everything happened
a long time ago.
They gather a group of people which results in a disastrous turn of events during which

(18:15):
reveals the deepest human depths.
A little bit better, but not much.
This is not good either.
Yeah.
Yeah, this movie sucks.
Yeah.
Yeah, and it's long.
And it's gonna suck for a long time.

(18:37):
You might be wondering.
Can I play this epic for the children?
We're always wondering that, daddy.
Well, daddy's gonna tell you.
Oh, God.
I did not like that.
Daddy's gonna learn you good.
Yeah, daddy gonna tell you.
Come over here, let daddy tell you.
I don't like any of that.

(18:59):
Christmas triangle.
I'm gonna tell you.
Oh, God.
I'm gonna tell you about the melancholies of the Durangles.
I thought it was Christmas.
I don't know what's going on.
Can we get out of this?
Man, this is one of the rare, severe all the way down.

(19:26):
Sex annuity has been rated severe.
A woman urinates on a charred body.
Yeah.
A woman urinates into a cup and proceeds to drink it.
A man shoves his finger into a woman's anus.
Anus.

(19:48):
Bloody feces can be seen coming out.
Body feces?
Bloody feces.
Bloody feces.
Body feces works, too.
I was like, what?
Oh, man.
A woman has sexual interest towards a dead, discarded pig and touching its genitals.

(20:09):
Yeah.
There's nothing wrong with some interest.
Yeah.
Well, I got weird thoughts, you know?
Yeah.
Stop kicking my chair.
After a woman claims to have a headache, a naked man pisses all over himself, then starts
having a seizure.

(20:30):
Oh, okay.
I wish that was the reaction to me having a headache.
Yeah.
Uncontrollable pissing.
Bunch of nudity.
Bunch of ejaculations.
A woman masturbates while watching a snuff video involving an abortion.

(20:51):
Hell yeah.
Violence and gore has been rated severe.
After a woman runs away from a begging monk.
She stumbles upon a mutilated fox, which is brief but gruesome.
We got some animal violence.

(21:11):
There's a lot going on there.
There's some animal violence.
There's some rapes.
There's some stabbings.
There's dismemberments.
There's just genuine brutality.
Yeah.
And a small newt is squashed under somebody's foot.
Not a newt.
An old man cuts a cat's throat open.

(21:33):
Oh, look at profanity.
Funny thing about the cat.
It's kind of disputed if the cat is a real cat or not.
Yeah.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say that, well, actually, I don't know.
I guess there's more than one way to skin a cat.

(21:54):
Yeah.
Definitely.
Definitely.
We still have to be the judges here, but I feel like it's going to be a real cat.
There's a story that Stephen Biro tells, owner of Unearthed Films, because I guess he had
like interest in the movie.
He wanted to distribute it.
And I guess one of the selling points that Dora was using was like, yeah, man, this movie's

(22:20):
fucked up, man.
We killed a cat, dude.
And at that point, Biro's like, OK, fuck you, dude.
I don't want this movie.
Then if you killed a cat.
That's what I'm thinking.
And you opened his descriptions with known for animal cruelty.
So I feel like it's going to be a fucking cat and I'm going to get real irritated.

(22:43):
And then I guess after Biro was like, yeah, I don't want this movie anymore.
Then he's like, yeah, that cat was fake.
It wasn't a real cat.
I don't believe you, bro.
And like even on the Wikipedia, it's like the cat has been proven to be a fake cat,
but there is no citation.
Proven.
Yeah.
So I don't know what proof they have that it's a fake cat.

(23:11):
Trust me, bro.
But I guess we'll see when we watch the movie.
Profanity has been rated severe.
The movie's director gets called the N word.
Not the N word.
Now it is Germany.
Is that new?

(23:31):
They might have a different N word in Germany.
It might be new.
Although the film's dialogue is in German, when translated to English, the language is
extremely profane.
So yeah, that's what I said.

(23:52):
Another one of those.
Although it's German, if it was English, it would be profane.
Do they know they're an idiot?
Do you know you're a stupid person when you're this kind of stupid?
Because like I know I'm a stupid person and I know most of the areas in which I'm a stupid

(24:12):
person because it's most of the areas.
But you know what I you know what I don't struggle with is thinking that.
Well, it's German.
It becomes profane now that it's English.
Yeah, you know, huh?

(24:33):
You're a fucking idiot.
Well, it depends on what language you're speaking to your fucking idiot.
I mean, it's only profane because I can understand it.
Fucking idiot.
You know, your language is you stupid bitches.
I remember Darcy.
And alcohol, drugs and smoking has been rated severe.

(24:54):
The characters snort cocaine at points of this film.
They drink smoke and do loads of other drugs at the house almost constantly.
Oh my God.
Stop trying to sell me on this lifestyle.
I'm already on board.
Yeah.
Frightening and intense scenes as also severe.

(25:16):
This is one of the most disgusting films ever made.
It's going to be fucking a job in the park, isn't it?
Every time we hear this is what it's fucking mild as fuck.
Yeah.
No, no.
Cat murder sounds pretty bad.
But yeah, seems to be a lot of animal murder in this movie.

(25:40):
So we'll see.
Seems like might be a pretty rough one.
Oh, I forgot to mention that this is a listener recommendation from Spamela Anderson.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Check out her movie reviews on Instagram.
That's pretty good.
Yeah, I still need to go check her out.

(26:01):
I haven't looked at her Instagram.
Check out all the other movie reviewers, man.
They're a lot smarter than we are.
Yeah.
They speak words good.
Yeah.
They actually are better.
They actually know what they're talking about sometimes.
Yeah, for real, dude.
Like if you if you want like some, you know, analyzing themes and whatnot, check out Pod

(26:23):
Mommy's podcast.
She's always doing this shit.
Kelly's taboo terrors.
That's what she is.
I was like, I don't remember Pod Mommy's real name.
You know, themes and cultural extremism.
Smart people, man.
Yeah.
I like them.
Oh, and you know, on that note, I am going to try to work on my rhetoric during this

(26:52):
movie.
I'm going to attempt to use better words than I normally do.
So just putting that out there.
Oh, God, I can't wait for a real world displays of this.
Yeah.
All right.
It's going to be great.
I'm more interested to learn what the scale is on how you qualify better words.

(27:14):
Yeah.
What's the gradient looking like there?
Are you going to review and analyze extemporaneously the cinematic experience?
Yeah.
Exactly.
Yeah.
More syllables is better.
Yeah.
That's basically the formula, I think.
OK.
I've got this.
Uh huh.
Let's watch this movie.
Yeah.

(27:38):
Told us what actually was told by whom who actually existed and fuck.
By them.
It's not whom this is going to be an issue, isn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, gosh.

(28:03):
She pregnant.
Yeah.
Those are worms.
Caterpillars.
Those are caterpillars.
Yeah.
On some carcass.
Oh, that's a big old bone.
Sure is.
Yeah, I already don't like this.

(28:24):
How come?
Just a pregnant belly.
Yeah, I just know something bad's coming.
What the fuck is happening?
It's ET.
Chicks at the petting zoo.

(28:46):
You should wash your hands before eating those fries.
You don't know that they didn't.
You don't know that they did.
Or just keep seeing clips of different things happening.
You don't even know if they were the people at the petting zoo.
It's called Porsche.
Yeah.
Porsche.

(29:06):
I forgot.
I gotta be fancy with my words.
That's a Porsche.
Yeah.
I think they're at Bells.
Yeah, I was going to say, is this like a theme park?
Bells, we're not from Oklahoma.
RIP Bells.

(29:27):
Yeah, I know.
These animatronics are creepy.
Animatronics baseline are dark-sided in general.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's the uncanny valley territory of it all.

(29:47):
Yeah.
That one looks like a Cabbage Patch doll or something.
Oh yeah, and it's cutting back and forth between the robots and the people.
The people are the robots, man.
Oh, okay.
These are nuanced themes.

(30:10):
There it is.
I was like, okay.
I was waiting for the more better words.
Yeah.
How would you describe that man more better, Christopher?
I would call him the...

(30:35):
He's living life on the rails.
He's in his own animatronic hell.
It's a brilliantly absurdist performance.
You know, the...
Seems a bit reductive.
The coin...

(30:56):
You're supposed to put 75 cents in there, but somebody only put 50.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or 230.
One thing...
Dude, that's like what my fingers look like right now.

(31:21):
Did I show you the fucking layers?
Oh, okay.
Oh, Jesus.
Well, not that.
I'm ripping layers of skin off my fingers for the past two days.
I don't know if I'm allergic to something new.
Huh.
What I did.
Yeah, because mine get really dry, but never like that bad.
I'm talking like, you ever had like a fully like burnt slap of skin, like sunburn level

(31:47):
peeling skin off?
Yeah.
That's crazy.
I know.
Maybe we do actually have AIDS.
I hope.
And it...
Yeah, I've had a good life.
I haven't, but it's fine.

(32:07):
Yeah.
This is a tour de force.

(32:29):
And would you say that you feel informed by the introduction thus far as to what sort
of film we're to experience?
Well, you know, I think it's really just kind of nuanced themes that the audience...
You got to decipher them for yourself.

(32:52):
You know, art's subjective.
You know, ants crawling on a doll could mean something different to me and to you.
Some see a vivid depiction of, you know, decay to subconsciously remind us of our own mortality.

(33:21):
Right.
You see a nice cozy bed.
Yeah.
It's been really meditative so far.
Yeah.

(33:43):
I always shoot straighter when I can feel a sort of turgid thinly veiled cock
against my thigh.
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, look at that guy picking his nose over there.
What is that beard situation?
Don't like that.
Do you see that little patch of hair?

(34:03):
Yeah.
Get it off.
Get a grip and get it off.
One of these guys is the writer for the movie.
I want to say Frank Miller, but that's not Ryan.
That's the comic book guy.

(34:27):
Frank something.
And apparently him and Mary and Dora had had a falling out because the movie's too fucked
up.
And the Frank guy wanted to cut some shit or something.
Yeah.

(34:51):
So for those paying attention, we are not doing the extended cut of the movie.
The extended cut adds like six minutes, but it didn't have subtitles.
So I just went with this one.

(35:13):
Okay.
Things I should have mentioned beforehand, but I forgot.
I don't write things down.
It's strange.
I like watching German movies.
It's like an excuse to learn or an excuse to use a mostly useless skill I have.

(35:34):
Yeah.
And then.
But then it's like dubbed bullshit like this.
And you know, what the fuck is going on?
I'm clear.

(35:54):
The sound engineering problems are numerous.
There's myriad complications involved in successfully executing sound design on this scale in a live
action cinematic.
Something just sounds like really like what would you call it?

(36:15):
Like canned or something?
Yeah.
I mean, my fucking headphones, though, I haven't checked.
No, it's not.
It removes the dimension, though, because it also like changes the direction the sounds
coming at you from, because now it's just a track instead of.
I mean, you can you can successfully engineer tracks to sound as though they're coming from

(36:36):
certain directions and whatnot.
But that's not what's going on here.
Yeah, they meet these girls and then take them down into a cave.
Oh, yeah.
Just to talk to them.
Do you guys ever go into the cave zone of Casabonita?
No.

(36:57):
Oh, man.
It was an experience.
Get some soap up his dude.
That's what it looked like right here.
It's a cave.
Had like waterfalls and stuff.
Uh huh.
God damn Casabonita, dude.
So I guess Casabonita was a hallmark of a time that predated me in Tulsa, because when

(37:25):
it went down, I hadn't actually been to it and that everyone was so upset.
Yeah.
Similar to Bells, I'd never actually been to Bells, but everyone referred to that as
Bells.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, it was so fucking cool.
This is weird.

(37:49):
This is dancing.
This is how to dance.
Hell yeah, it is.
Yeah.
We didn't mention that girl that was like peeing standing up, though.
That's pretty cool.
Yeah.
That girl was peeing standing up and the guy walks in and they just kind of look at each
other and then she walks away.

(38:11):
I try to tell Lisa all the time she can pee standing up and she won't do it.
No.
I think if the like, if I sat down to pee once and my dick touched the water and it

(38:32):
was so discomforting.
Yeah, it's a little weird.
But otherwise I think I would prefer to sit down to pee.
Maybe.
I don't know.

(38:52):
Maybe not though.
I don't know.
It depends on, you know, if I got stuff to do or not.
If I'm trying to kill time.
Yeah.
Do I have my phone?
Yeah.
Am I at work?
Am I at work?
I'll sit down for whatever.
Yeah.
Dude, what is going on with the sounds?
I don't know.

(39:12):
I think it's a design choice.
I don't know.
They recorded something like a Nokia or something.
Yeah, something.
The way I want to just pinch that little patch of fur on his, I just want to yank.

(39:34):
Yeah, dude.
It's inspiring something visceral within me.
I don't know.
Yeah, this guy's completely bald.
I don't even know if he has eyebrows, but he's got a little soul patch.
And it's like clothed.
That's like the only hair on his body.
I hate it.

(39:56):
No phones, bitch.
Yeah, the sound is going to irritate me for this entire.
Dude, it's so bad.
Yeah, I don't understand.
Shit.
Oh, yeah.
Go stomp it.
Yeah.
He's like, I got it, man.

(40:17):
Don't worry.
Bald guy is unhinged.
He's sort of some ineffectual stomping.
Yeah, that was really low impact stamping.
It really was.
Yeah.
It's that impotent rage.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
So they brought the carnival girls to their crib.
Yeah.

(40:37):
And all of a sudden, these girls are not having a good time.
Smash the phone.
I can't imagine why.
This seems like so much fun.
Yeah.
They threw the phone against the wall, and then the bald guy smashed it and then cried
at the other girl's feet.
It's a weird situation.

(40:59):
She's going to receive love and pain both.
Well, they got the footsteps loud enough.
Yeah.
That straw slurping earlier, too.
A surly ass lets off no happy fart.

(41:30):
Yeah.
Good advice.
These guys are poets, dude.
Yeah.
Every time I hear the words in succession, a surly ass.
I know I'm in for a good time.
Oh, yeah.
That's off.
No happy fart.
The bald guy's having a rough time.

(41:54):
Yeah.
Well, that's his fucking face.
It's been a terrible ride.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
And what a pathetic creature he is, too.
Someone needs to put him down.
I want to see violence happen to that.

(42:15):
Yeah.
Dude, please.
And exclusively that man.
Fuckin torture that guy, dude.
Yeah, he deserves it.
That's how I feel every day now that I'm like married.
Yeah.

(42:35):
I prefer the atmosphere of my own company.
Yeah.
Those mornings of solitude.
Yeah.
Just jacking off at the river.
Uh-huh.
Riding a horse naked.
This is like fucking this lighting is.
Uh-huh.
Sort of Peter Pan situation is going on here.

(42:58):
Yeah.
Makes everything look like dreamy and weird.
Making flowers because I'm deep, baby.
Well, the way he's holding them with a handkerchief, I'm assuming they're supposed to be like poison.
He's gay.
He's got to find his buried treasure.

(43:21):
Is it his hair?
No.
No, it's a fucking doll head.
I hope it was a wig.
Remember when we used to bury Barbie dolls out in the backyard?
I told you not to speak about that surly ass.

(43:42):
You remember blind man surly ass.
Thank God.
Maybe you can remind me.
God damn it.
Fuck this movie.

(44:04):
God damn.
This is going to really piss me off, I think.
Why does it sound so fucking bad?
Because it is.
What is on the microphone?
There's like, you're just, you can't hear anything.
Everything sounds like it's fucking down the hallway or something.

(44:37):
Hell yeah.
We're eating dinner.
It's all watermelon.
Eat up.
Okay.
So ASMR is like not my thing.
In fact, I'm like, I'm not, I don't want to yuck anyone's yum.
I don't want to hear you chew.

(45:00):
It inspires, we'll say rage, like unbridled rage.
Yeah.
No, it's like that man's fucking soul patch situation.
I'm tired of looking at him.
Dude, I know every dude, literally all ASMR is fucking terrible meal, man.

(45:23):
Oh, this is the newt.
This newt's not going to go well.
The newt.
Oh, it's already a dead newt.
It sure is.
Not doing good.
Strange man.
There's no dexterity to that newt.
It wiggled a little.
Oh, it's the baby doll, man.

(45:46):
Sure is.
Yeah, about the dolls boys.
This is, I'd be, are you a fucking vampire?
Yeah.
I'd be happy to be allowed to enter.
Sure you would.
Oh, he brought company too.

(46:09):
Wheelchair lady.
Hell yeah.
She is struggling.
It's a muddy, muddy yard you got here.
Yeah.
What's going on?

(46:31):
No one fucking knows.
What the fuck?
Oh, yeah.
This is going to piss me off.
This is what I hate.
This.
Wow.
Squish the fucking newt.
Yeah, there was no reason for that.
The newts are so cute.
I understand that one was already dead, but.
Yeah.
Probably because they fucking killed it.

(46:55):
Yeah.
Okay, so we're getting together at the party house, right?
Old man baby doll showed up with the toys, I guess.
He's got a couple of suitcases.
Brought us here.

(47:16):
Get up these stairs.
They are coaxing the wheelchair lady up the stairs.
Bald guy has no pants on.
He also has no, no like upper body's chain.

(47:40):
Yeah, they just dropped wheelchair lady.
Oh no.
Oh, they bit down her wheelchair.
No, they broke her fucking wheelchair.
They're just going to leave her there too.
She's never going to get up the stairs at that rate.
Yeah, they said fuck you.
You're stuck here now with no wheelchair.
Yeah, they said you're differently abled, bitch.
Get up here differently.

(48:01):
Yeah.
And the girls are going to help her up the stairs.
Carnival lady's got it.
Standing pisser is not having any of it.
She's a hard woman.
She stands up to pee.
She takes no shit.
Well, this little girl just carried her up the stairs when the two grown men couldn't

(48:25):
fucking do it.
Yeah, that makes complete sense to me.
What's this old man's name?
I don't know.
Looks like a Merle.
Heinrich.
Oh, okay.
Snails and grasshoppers, baby.
Mealworms.
It's a feast.
Devil meal.
Yeah.
Dude.
Nobody brought a snack tray to this party.

(48:50):
We're really going to eat bugs.
You saw the watermelon.
Oh, true.
Yeah.
That Beal took the fuck off.
This goddamn sound design.
Mm hmm.
He gave her a book.

(49:13):
Now her wheelchair is up there and it's just fine.
This lady looks like if Lana Del Rey's wax figurine was like melted a bit.
I don't know how to describe this creature.
Who the standing pisser?
Yeah.
And also if she had a chopped off, it was obviously self self-inflicted.
She's got that summertime sadness.

(49:36):
I bet hers is fucking year round.
Yeah.
Is that how you refer to your turgid member?
A tense excitement.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah.
That guy's always thinking about depopulation plans.
That's what I was going to say.
She's talking about depopulation plans.

(49:57):
Yeah.
Is Dicks only hard after a good meal of watermelon and crickets?
Yeah.
Are you what?
Keep showing me that fucking man's face.
I'll depopulate all of us.
I'm going to do that.
I'm holding us.

(50:17):
I can break it out the cow bell, dude.
Yeah.
He got so excited about the horniness of a meal.
He had to break out the cowbell.
Wheel girl wants to get to know before the debauchery.

(50:42):
Yeah get out like.
Yeah.
There's no getting out.
Oh yeah.
That's a wheelchair girl.
Right?
No, I don't think so.
But they brought him out to like the middle of nowhere.
Okay.
So this is just the what?
The nihilist round table.

(51:04):
Yeah, this is.
What's the point?
I'm not like an art elitist.
I'm really not.
Yeah.
He just licked her nose.
Garbage.
Yeah.
And he just licked her entire mouth.
Is he hot or is he like pro magnum?

(51:24):
He's got a little caveman in him for sure.
I don't think he's a bad looking guy.
I mean.
I know.
I was trying to decide if he was hot.
I don't know.
We've only ever seen him next to a fucking bald guy though.
So yeah.
I don't know.
Maybe.

(51:45):
Two of these three girls are hot.
Yeah, that's true.
I don't know.
I think caveman guys.
All right.
Yeah.
He's caveman though.
Yeah.
I don't know.
He could do a guy commercial or whatever.
Yeah.
No makeup.
Yeah.

(52:05):
Wow.
This is boring.
It's going to be boring for the whole time I think.
At least that guy's getting sucked off I guess.
I guess.
In this fucking music.

(52:27):
We're really just doing salo over again, aren't we?
Yeah.
Similar.
Similar vibe I guess.
Yeah.
Kind of similar.
Shooting drugs up.
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
That gets titties out.

(52:48):
Yeah.
Pull some boobs out.
That'll get Chris interested.
There we go.
Oh man.
He's bringing the scalpel out though.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Not a very sharp one though.
I was like that's got to be the dullest fucking scalpel ever.
What the fuck?
Bring me the 50 gauge dull scalpel.

(53:11):
Yeah.
I think I read that these are real cuts though, which I guess I believe.
What the fuck?
That's insane.
Why would you?
You don't like the booby cuts?
No.
Wow.
Why would you let them actually cut you?

(53:33):
Some people like it.
What the hell?
Did you like that?
No.
Oh, okay.
What's happening with her?
She's having an experience I think.
And so is he.
Overdosing right now?
She's getting real slimy.
I don't know.

(53:54):
Her face has been all slimy.
She is coated in slime.
I hate this.
I was trying to figure out what the fuck was going on with her face.
It's not because it's disturbing.
It's just fucking stupid.

(54:15):
Yeah.
It's so ridiculous.
This fucking relentless vamping ambient soundtrack can go straight to fucking jail.
Go fuck yourself.
You piece of shit.
Yeah, dude.
Is this the aftermath?
Yeah, it's gotta be, right?

(54:37):
Waking up after the party.
Yeah.
In the fucking fresh wake of our Lord's light, this is a dark scene.
You slimy bitches.
I think maybe I'm just not in the right headspace for this film.
I think it's bad.
I think it would be better if it wasn't bad.

(54:59):
Yeah.
You know?
Side by deal?
Okay.
Whoa, yeah.
She shit all over herself.
I actually really like these.
I like the set production.
I like how all the sets look.
I like how this all looks.
I like the fag.

(55:20):
Get the fag off the TV.
I'm not watching that, you know?
Yeah.
Freaking nasty old house.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah.
I like all this.
Yeah.
I mean, I think this has potential to be a better sallow.
If it didn't sound so fucking stupid, it sounds so bad.

(55:44):
Yeah.
It looks like she's going to fucking wear your skin.
Yeah.
She's a rough and tumble woman, that one.
Yeah.
That's fine German stock.
Yeah.
I think is what they would say.

(56:06):
That's a disservice.
There are a lot of hot Germans.
Yeah, dude, these other chicks are German.
They're pretty hot.

(56:27):
I don't know if they are.
Yeah.
I don't really know what a German looks like, except for Hitler.
I don't even know if he was German, to be honest.
We're all quite a bit of German.
Oh, yeah.

(56:48):
I think I'm German.
Yeah.
That's just what they tell me.
I don't really know for sure.
I'm going for a walk in the woods.
Seems like a great plan.

(57:09):
Ghost sleepers.
I'm going to go back to just reviewing porn, dude.
This is like, what he really said was like dormant spirits.
It might be my fault.
I haven't been reading any of the words that they said.

(57:30):
Some of them are goofy.
I noticed no one reacted to a musty ass, so I had to reference that one.
That girl's pretty hot sometimes.
Yeah, I think she's the hottest one.

(57:50):
The women are mostly hot.
Not one creature, not so much.
Oh, doing a little puppet show?
Hell yeah.
With a skeleton.
With an animal skeleton.
It's a brilliantly absurdist performance.
It's better entertainment than that lady telling stories in Salo.

(58:14):
Maybe.
I don't know that story about the dog.
Calling across the floor.
Bracing that dog was pretty cool.
Any animal carcasses from surrounding cities are burned here.
They just gather them all up and burn them here.
Oh yeah.

(58:34):
That's a big fucking grasshopper.
Yeah.
That good fishing bait right there.
That's the ones that'll bite you.
Did you see it latched onto that piece of grass?
Yeah, I did.
That's what happened on my finger.
I wondered if the finger was going to get rotten.

(58:58):
I remember you telling me this story.
Yeah, it was just like fucking hanging off my finger, man.
It wouldn't let go.
They freak me out so bad.
Yeah, that fucking beard.
It's like the little curl on it.

(59:19):
It's real stupid.
Get it off.
It was 2009.
Inexcusable.
Yeah.
Thanks Obama.
Yeah, they can never understand each other deep down.

(59:42):
That's because when you speak to each other, it's in fucking non-secular nonsense.
You fucking creatures of the night.
Are we speaking surly asses?
My surly ass released the sweetest fart.
I hate every word they say.

(01:00:10):
God damn it.
Fuck this movie, dude.
What if you just started singing?
The hills are alive.
None in the plains.
Random mirror.
Mountain.
Yeah.
Hot chicks going to play with that goat, dude.

(01:00:31):
There is some cool...
What the fuck is up with that goat?
Goats get fucking wonky, man.
I think they should...
I don't know about goats.
Yeah, I'm not a fan.
Yeah, fuck that.
Whatever that is, fuck it, dude.
I don't like it at all.
Gary dude

(01:00:51):
Yeah, they're dark-sided I
Watched my neighbors goats eat the car like they had a car parked in the other side of the house. They ate that bitch
Yeah, goats are crazy, yeah, and they just spend their spare time fucking headbutt in the house

(01:01:14):
One of my friends neighbors had goats and they had the biggest fucking nut sex I ever seen it
time big balls, yeah
Dad would be there with a fucking BB gun. He'd shoot him in the nuts. Oh
To get him off the porch cuz they'd be on this porch
And they didn't flinch at all. They didn't care you shot him in the nuts

(01:01:37):
Listen, we had buddy for these balls fun
Now we used to have a goat and my brother used to like poke its balls with sticks
huge balls
cuz yeah, they're freaking huge for goat for the size of a goat monster balls
Everyone I know here has stories of like yeah, we used to we used to fuck with

(01:02:02):
Just fucking
Terrorized nut sex
Yeah, I just remember my brother would freaking get sticks and poke that goats balls and
You're saying the goats didn't flinch but this goat did not like it and he used to headbutt my brother all the time
Really? Yeah
I

(01:02:23):
Mean, I guess it flinched a little bit. It'd be like, but like it wouldn't move
Like it wouldn't get off the porch
What the fuck is happening why is there a nun in the middle of the forest
Listen lady, I think we got to give up the ghost. This is gonna be a bunch of pointless bullshit

(01:02:45):
It's gonna so it's unironically. I appreciate some of the pretty cinematography. Yeah
And that is where the values end for me
It's a cool place
Nice wooded area hot chick walking through the woods. I love it's great looks cool
Yeah, I need it for two hours. I just

(01:03:07):
Need it for two hours. I don't know. This is a music video at best. Yeah
this is a
Shania Twain music video Shania Twain
Little more faith Hill maybe
I haven't seen one designer smock so far

(01:03:28):
I'm sorry. Dead Sunflowers in a field
My daddy was a freak and he fucked real good
I look for you in the mirror in the mountain

(01:03:58):
That what this is this what that fucking fleet with my sons about I saw your reflection in the snow-covered hills
Yeah, it was the nun mirror in the side of the mountain but it was just this
Man with a beard I

(01:04:20):
Wish this was Stevie Nicks it'd be much better. Yeah
Dead animals as far as the eye can see just fucking dead animals everywhere
She's very upset about her rip-stocking
He's gonna set the dead animals on fire
Hell yeah, hell yeah, dude. Fuck it. Yeah. What what else would you do when you see a dead fucking rat?

(01:04:44):
No, what's he gonna do to that nun?
Why does everything sound like it's a fucking dream
Talking. Well, it's this fucking ambient soundscape bullshit
They've got going on as an underlying fucking I hate it so much and it is irritating and maddening

(01:05:08):
Yeah
Because it's been what solidly 10 minutes of this right? Yeah, I'm not gonna look at the runtime dude
It's no cuz it'll piss me the fuck off. Yeah
We're probably 30 minutes in at the most
I

(01:05:30):
Don't know if that intro is kind of long too it was
Yeah, I had more fun at the carnival
I guess the cut and boobies kind of cool. I guess
I'm just gonna go with the

(01:05:51):
Yes, oh I'm just
I did not appreciate the boob. I'm gonna I didn't
I'm gonna pretend it was a consensual booby-cutting. She seemed real into it. She fucking drooled and lathered herself in her own slime
Yeah, she was slimed the fuck out Wow. She got oozy-goozy

(01:06:14):
Goosy
I got a piss. I'm just gonna let this play fuck this movie
It's this fucking Gregorian chant fucking didgeridoo have an ass sound going on

(01:06:39):
I'm fucking Jesus. It's relentless. Yeah, I hate it
Why is he stepping on dead birds?
I want to know why they spent so much time gathering up this many dead animals. Yeah
Are we corrupting the nun?

(01:07:01):
I don't know what's happening to the nun. I think she's in the woods having her first period and is real concerned
I can't really tell for sure. Oh
Was that the nun? I don't know. I thought it was the other girl. It probably was I have no idea
Yeah, I I have no idea which girl it was one of them's having her period in the woods

(01:07:21):
so you can only inundate me with aimless cinematography and
perpetually vamping
Gregorian chant soundscapes for so long without me losing all sense of fucking
Linear storytelling. I have no foot. Yeah, I've been just walking around for I don't even know how long no, that's been a while

(01:07:42):
Yeah with like the Skyrim loading screen going on. Mm-hmm the sound as in the background
Except for less less exciting because there's no fucking
Actual lyrics it's just the chanting. Yeah, we just need the little tips that say

(01:08:03):
Make sure to save often. Yeah and call me the Dovahkiin and suck my dick
Glass armor is cool
Did anyone actually like glass armor I
I liked it in Morrowind I think yeah. Yeah, I

(01:08:27):
Never played enough to know I
Wish they'd redo Morrowind
There's a mod I think they've been working on it for a while now
Making it in the Skyrim engine
Morrowind because Morrowind was the real banger. I know Morrowind so fucking good, dude. It's the best. It's the best one

(01:08:50):
I agree. I agree wholeheartedly and it's just a you know, it was just a little
Head of is ahead of its time. Yeah big time, dude
But you're playing it now man, it's kind of hard it is hard because you have to like regress
I'm so used to like a little compass that tells me where to go all the time. Yeah

(01:09:12):
so I
And what game was I think Jedi Survivor has
This going on where them you basically have to like actually go look around
It's not a contest situation
Oh really and it's like open-world II. Yeah. Yeah, it's fucking hard to do now, man

(01:09:34):
It's kind of fun though to like have to read because I am the same way. I got really programmed to like follow the tracker
Where's the glowing trail? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah Marlon would be like, yeah, man go to the
Fuck is a verbal description tree by the lake to the west
Yeah, you actually have to pull out your physical map that came with the game

(01:09:58):
And I was explaining that to Jack on his last attempt at Skyrim. I was like, I think you would have hated it
Yeah
Yeah, I got into a little oblivion a little bit. That was the only one
Oblivion was a binger too
Yeah, oblivion is good. It just kind of looks like shit
It does look so bad

(01:10:20):
Like marwan looks any better. I remember when oblivion came out and you were fucking amazed at the graphic
It was a different time now
2006 me dude. Yeah real fucking chain physics, dude
I spent so long in the dungeon that you start out just pushing that chain around

(01:10:43):
Simpler times. Yeah, that's great
Yeah, dude, you step foot out of the the dungeon into like
Sierra the world. Yeah
And it looks great. Uh-huh
It's the people that don't look very good anymore. Yeah. No, yeah their head their heads are insane

(01:11:06):
No matter where you put those sliders on the character customization
It's just like shit no matter what you've got. You've got a skinny long head and that's what you're gonna have
Oh my god
It's the sound is it is there a crackling thing happening out here? Yeah, okay

(01:11:31):
This can all go fuck itself
This is a pig farmer there
Yeah, get naked give me something to care about these
During their walking journey they stumbled upon a pig farmer I guess I assume

(01:11:55):
Squishin newts
Just yeah, I can raw dog and dead newt sorry
So ridiculous
I don't know. I just been a frog the legs look pretty for it did look like a frog at first
None lady has made her way into a church

(01:12:18):
Mm-hmm her cheer church. I assume I don't know. She looks a little confused. So maybe this is not her church. Oh
She was praying and some guy brought a coffin up behind her that could be why she's confused
This isn't how funerals were a little alarming. I guess
Yeah, and also once you put the casket in the ground, it's supposed to stay there

(01:12:41):
I mean, yeah, I was like, it's a very nice looking body
Pills also covered in blood still there. So that's well. Yeah
So maybe it's not decomposed. Maybe it's just fucked up
And the weird bald guys here looking paler somehow it's cuz the Sun is out. Yeah

(01:13:02):
That's why you don't see Heinrich he's the vampire
A fag yeah
She's looking a little more confident now, I don't know how but she's ready for whatever comes

(01:13:27):
Yeah, she's gonna pray to Jesus
Everything's gonna be alright
Uh-huh. Oh
My god, do you know how hard it is to have a Bach organ sonata playing and I still be pissed off at the sound and they fucking
managed it
You stupid bitches
I think we're doing some raping or something. Yeah

(01:13:49):
Pig is not having a good time. Well, they're also stabbing that pig, right? Uh-huh. Yeah, somebody's stabbing a pig
I think that's the pig farmer
and then the
Kind of hot caveman guy is raping. I think standing up peeing girl

(01:14:12):
In a swamp, yeah, I guess I don't know no, I think they're in different places I
Yeah, that's the hot girl that's what the pig murder what the fuck oh
Why through the nose?
Wow
What are they doing to that pig?

(01:14:35):
This girl was just randomly walking through the woods came upon this pig farm and decides to join in in the killing of this pig
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah, this is insane
That was just cutting back and forth between a hot naked nun a dead pig and a rape scene

(01:15:02):
Uh-huh. Just bang bang bang
Yeah
Got that smell
Yeah
Oh
Hey, look at that dick. Yeah
Hey, look at that vagina. Yeah. Oh the nuns sucking his finger. Yeah

(01:15:30):
Uppercut
That was so fucking weird, oh my god
Knock that
Some cold Steve Austin that is so stupid everything that's happened. It's

(01:15:52):
Hock I had a nice cock and it did not even redeem this
Yeah, the nun is just left confused
Yeah, that's right
Thanks, it's my meatballs man
He just put a bunch of random shit in her hand and then walked away

(01:16:15):
Feeling accomplished
My god, it's a chicken foot in a
Anchor chip in her hand and then just
Real confidently walked away. These will reveal their purpose to you in due time

(01:16:36):
Yeah
What's going on out there yeah, we
We have had a day
Yeah, all she's turning off his hair after he but raped her in the fucking river. That's nice of her. Yeah

(01:17:00):
They're cute I think they're gonna make it I
Helped some farm boys slaughter a pig. Yeah. Yeah the boobs were out
Uh-huh. I didn't want the pig to feel alone so many exposed nipples on that one day. Oh

(01:17:23):
My god, I guess we've all had a big day
Yeah, I think I'll go shit in this concrete hole now
You like my shit blood period?
Don't need those anymore. Yeah get a good whiff. They didn't let me pack clothes

(01:17:46):
No one told me to wipe when the poop comes out you mean I can take them off before the poop
Oh
No, that's wheelchair wheelchair go and the fag
That's a little Merle and
He's not taking care of her

(01:18:09):
He was taking care of her he put her on the toilet she's covered in shit
Didn't say he was good at it
I'm trying times by helping we hurt
If they don't cut it the fuck out with this soundtrack oh
My fucking god the whole damn thing it's better than fucking Brian Adams fucking chime sounds to get a grip

(01:18:36):
Nobody expect you to read that story
Honey, this is just a blank piece of wood
What a dark-sided room this is oh my god
This fucking wall. Oh god. I hate this somehow the cleanest room in the house. Yeah, that's true
Hello

(01:18:57):
I look at bald man's bed
He's got a cell basically yeah where he limits
Oh, yeah
Shut up you cunt
Shut up you cunt
She has a headache
Okay
He's not a mute. Yeah

(01:19:18):
Hey
Yeah
You like this play? Okay, that's not at all. What was described to us. No
bald man is peeing and seizing
I'm pretty sure it said the woman peed on him
I don't think so. Okay. Well, those those fucking things we read were bullshit anyway, uh-huh

(01:19:42):
It's the coolest thing bald man's done so far bigger cock than I expected yeah
It's not great bigger than I expected. All right. Yeah. Yeah, I expected a
Wolf thumbtack. Yeah
Wheelchair girls got a very large wheelchair
Yeah, that's a two-person wheelchair. I think she's probably also like

(01:20:08):
Dumbelina sighs
Yeah
I guess murals rolling out. He's had enough fun
Heinrich's leaving and he's leaving wheelchair girl
It's like your problem now
She's being honoree
Yeah
I'm gonna push you around the table

(01:20:29):
You're about to get dizzy
You're about to get dizzy
This crackling is gonna get to me
Yeah, he is violating the wheelchair girl. Yeah, he is and like an old swimming pool or something
Don't you gonna fuck her colostomy bag

(01:20:54):
You want to fuck my poop hole daddy caveman you've gone too far
Yeah, we're just getting started
Yeah
There's poop in that hole. There sure is. You know what else is going in there my fucking hand bitch
Yeah, yeah

(01:21:14):
Yeah
Oh
God damn. Yeah. Wow. All right. I
Don't think she likes it. No, I

(01:21:35):
Can't tell for sure. Ah
That'd be the perfect time to like I
Have butt sex because I don't think there's poop in the butt
You might be on to something. There's also no sensation for her. So like yeah
Yeah
Yeah, don't waste your time in the colostomy hole dude go for the butt yeah, well that's the new butthole

(01:22:02):
He said another poops why I'm here though
Poor wheelchair girl, man, she didn't deserve that. She's just sitting her. Uh-huh
Do that to the bald guy fuck him
He was like smell my finger

(01:22:27):
I never left
I know
Who the hell's that
Oh
That's the girl that was reading the bedtime story. Yeah, I think that's the other girl
Other girl haven't fucked with her very much. Uh-huh

(01:22:51):
They gave her that book to keep her occupied for a while
Took her a while to get through it
Yeah, all all zero pages of it. Mm-hmm. That was the fucking book cover
Oh, look he's dreaming about him in the rabbit in the woods. He's a creature of the night

(01:23:13):
God get off that fucking ugly piece of shit. This guy is you know, I don't want a log
Yeah
Well, okay. So here in the light of our Lord
You can tell it's actually even smaller than I thought it was but it's still not as small as I thought it was but oh
He just jumped off that log. Mm-hmm
He's doing tricks and shit

(01:23:36):
Think of the statue of David the statue of David dick was attached to a bad body
Type situation
You know, he's real happy though. He's in love. They're through the woods
This is just what you do when you're in love

(01:23:59):
This is some of the better like
Like dreamscape
Cinematography I've seen yeah. Yeah, it's very dreamy
Unfortunately, we're watching
Pooh. Yeah, this could be something if I wasn't already so fucking over it. Yeah, this everyone involved in this

(01:24:20):
straight to jail you have the tantalizing imagination of a 12 year old boy with
burgeoning psychosis
You fat bitch
Well, look at that moly baby doll. Yeah, is that mo is that what it is? I was like what's that?
It's definitely moly
Oh
God I I already can't breathe. I don't want this. Yeah, I'm like don't do that. That's rough, man. Oh god

(01:24:47):
They are infected
Yeah, don't fucking play with mold
Yeah, don't fucking play with mold I hated that okay. Yeah
uh
It was giving last of us. Yeah
Yeah, dude. Yeah the heart the hot chick already almost has the face of a clicker

(01:25:11):
Even though she is going on. I don't know. Yeah, I agree
Fuck every word. They say this movie
His heart remained pure even if he had nothing but debauchery on his mind
I'm assuming cats is the ball guy through the winding road
Fucking music here. Good

(01:25:31):
Yeah
Yeah, this isn't meaningful. This is meaningful music and this is not meaningful
Content this is like
Moral of the story music. Yeah
So well back on our journey
Here's what i've learned so far
I like fingering pupils and colostomy beds

(01:25:52):
So hot
Yeah
Especially if I put a bag over your head. Yeah, she likes to fuck dude. Yeah, she does
Those are some those are some
Engorged pussy lips
It except for that one time she got raped I don't think she liked it. Yeah, but then afterwards

(01:26:16):
I think she was I think it was role play. She's like the one that is down
Yeah, because after
After him raping her she was like all over him drying his hair for him and shit
So I don't think it was really rape
And I don't know. I think she was giving giving the rape fantasy. I'm not sure. Yeah

(01:26:40):
She was also bleeding from her vagina she was
Yeah, yeah, I don't fucking know what's happening
We do get a lot of incongruous like nosebleeds in this movie, too
Maybe that I don't know. Oh, hey
Yeah, that's a real close-up close as you can get without getting your eyes wet

(01:27:01):
I
I'm gonna need to pause for a minute girl. I don't know if we even need to pause
Probably not we can if you want. Okay, okay
Okay, let's do a quick pause

(01:27:21):
Break time. Oh my fucking god
Oh, my god, uh-huh an hour left an hour left. Yeah. Oh
I'm rioting in the street
I'm really hoping this is not the cat that they kill. Oh for sure is
All right. Let's fucking

(01:27:44):
Fuck
Dude all the animals
I mean maybe 80 percent of the animals so far have been like already dead
And then they just kind of fuck with it
Mm-hmm
now that we've seen like
this cat alive
Yeah, I swear to god they better not fucking kill this cat dude. Wow

(01:28:09):
I'm nervous now
Yeah, they're not gonna kill that cat
They killed that cat didn't they yeah they fucking did I don't know no that was
Yeah, that wasn't actually a cut. No
You can't hold a cat by its back legs though, dude

(01:28:30):
You cannot that you can't do that. I'm pretty sure they drugged it
I don't think they actually cut it though. Now that like I saw it when they picked it up cut was missing. Yeah
I think they put it to sleep. I don't know
Wheelchair girls just been in the room the whole time. Yes. Yeah threw the dead cat in there
Is that because she's dead from the pussy down?

(01:28:55):
The two girls are tied up in a barn
blindfolded
One of them's blindfolded once not
What's gonna happen?
You know what i'm not gonna do is just walk the fuck around. Yeah, just stumble around
The girls are trying to escape but murals stalking them. This is the uh suspense music

(01:29:21):
I
Sounds like it's in the fucking next movie over
Like everything else
I don't know
Who fucking engineered this and was like, yeah nailed it. Yeah
Melanie is not who you want to be tied to in a fucking crisis situation. Yeah

(01:29:44):
This bitch is just sort of
pre-ambling about
Yeah, yeah, I was just thinking the same thing like god she sucks
You you suck
Yeah
They're in the baby doll dungeon it seems. Yeah, well it's like a texas chainsaw massacre looking room

(01:30:06):
She's got some real hot cleavage melanie she does have like
Porn boobs. I don't know how to describe it
Yeah
I don't know
I don't know
Porn boobs. I don't know how to describe it. Yeah, they're always glistening for some reason

(01:30:29):
Yeah, she's a sweaty bitch
The girls have been glistening for a lot of this movie
Bald man's having another breakdown and the crickets are unamused
How'd they make the how'd they make this little german bitch sound like a fucking

(01:30:54):
Waifu from some anime too, by the way
Fucking up some worms
See it meanwhile in worms they won't even drop a worm we're topping them in half over here
Yeah, yeah, he's just cutting that worm up with a scalpel yeah for no fucking reason

(01:31:20):
Yeah, he just made like eight worms, dude
It's always looking like a fucking resident evil boss
She's a fucking bio weapon, dude
Yeah
This is the woman that peace standing up and she is I don't even know she's strung up or something I think

(01:31:48):
Uh tap of her own affairs to this is hot to go. Yeah, she is skewered
Here
Oh
I don't even think I could pee that hard man. She was pushing

(01:32:14):
I think why is why is colostomy bag cripple the one that seems to crave being alive so much?
I think it's a bit incongruous to me. Yeah
Was life so good

(01:32:38):
I guess murals gone crazy
Beating girls in the head with drinks his name is heinrich. Oh
Is it murl? Cuz the murl hackered
I don't know. He just kind of looks like a murl to me
Yeah, like, you know usual kind of like hobo drifter kind of name

(01:33:00):
I just kind of went with murl
Uh jebediah would work
Yeah
What is he doing eating her
Maybe
Of course caveman. What do I care about bitch getting eaten?

(01:33:21):
I don't care about anything. Yeah
bald man is still just
Having a complete breakdown. Yeah, but
Fetal position just shaking. Yeah, he's not having a good time. Most he could do is he's got

(01:33:43):
Cut up a worm
He's got big like smegle energy
Yeah, dude
We hate it
Yeah, put him down
Finally took will to hurl out of the dungeon. Oh my god the fucking vampy
Meaningful music is back

(01:34:05):
Oh god, I am so fucking irritated at this movie
We bring our sins into the light of day
In a wheelchair
So you did all that just to fuck it this is what I mean what were we clinging on so hard for

(01:34:27):
Shumps off a cliff girl. Just fucking oh god. God damn it
I'm dead at the river with her nipples out. Oh, yeah
Yeah
That was some dignity we'll yeah, you bitch

(01:34:48):
Yeah, dude
That lady still had cuts on her boobies and I know these people
Do not care about continuity. Yeah
So it makes me believe that that was real. Yeah
Okay
Dude

(01:35:10):
Dead mouth says a bookmark. Yeah, that is that's a soft cock
That's a golem dude. You that you're right. Yeah, that's a golem move
Yeah, whacking off in the cave
This whole movie should have just been a supercut of everything this guy's got going on. Yeah
It'd been 20 times better

(01:35:33):
I don't need to see nothing else. I've only invested in him
So much fucking dead shit in this movie
And he's interested

(01:35:56):
Make him kiss
This right here is a depiction of um, prometheus, um
Chained to a mountain getting like eaten by birds and shit
I think it's a good one
I think if we're going theological with it or theosophical it's gonna be

(01:36:20):
the angels being dragged down
By fucking mortal sin. Okay. Yeah, that's better
Or this is a bunch of fucking idiots with a budget
Um
Hey, there's the squirt poop. Yeah, I lost it and shit on that lady. Yeah, I rubbed it in

(01:36:46):
Eww, it's on his fingers. So why is poop on the fingers grosser than poop in the pussy?
It is to me though. I don't know why he pooped right on that pussy. Yeah, he did. He slid it in
He gave it a little pat. She's got some extra to go with it. Yeah
He's got a little bit of a

(01:37:06):
He's loose in his mind. Yeah, I think he's doing fine
Now hey we finally see that girl's boobs

(01:37:27):
Yep, we do a lot of soft cock jerking
Uh-huh. It's giving monkey in the zoo
Okay, yeah, you like it when I wipe my shitty ass

(01:37:47):
You like my shitty ass wipe? Oh my god finger my poopy butt
Eww
Suck your shitty finger down your throat and puke
Yeah
And now you're a pink eye he's not a bad person he just beats women

(01:38:15):
He probably deserved it melanie you are a stupid whore
You haven't tried to leave this shit hole once
Yeah pull that soft cock out daddy, uh-huh. Oh, yeah talk it

(01:38:35):
I don't mind his head looks hard though. Just pissing. Yeah, it's a boner
Yeah, what the fuck? Simple is that?
That's great why is there a dick right there there's the penis just resting by his oh he's peeing on that little girl

(01:38:58):
Is this hot
No, oh
Yeah, I think if i'm gonna pee on somebody I would like them to be a little bit more um
Um enthusiastic about it
Would you like a boner in your ear while you did it?
It might help me I don't know if it would help the

(01:39:19):
receiver of the urine
Yeah, why is she crawling like this?
I don't know
That's how you escape seems to be crawling inefficient
It's not an economic use of your energy that
What was that

(01:39:45):
That wasn't wheelchair girl, I know it because she threw herself off a cliff
No, I don't know why was she doing that. I don't know
Maybe she likes it
Oh
Dead body in the clock
Oh, guess what crawling girl did not get away. Yeah, not the three soft cocks of the apocalypse

(01:40:13):
Oh, no, that one's the girl
No, I bet she's got a soft cock in there somewhere. Yeah, I think so too. I know when I see her
I've only got one kind of cock on me
Oh
Wow, I should have stood up and ran away

(01:40:35):
My escape's been foiled
Just beat the shit out of her back dude, yeah just punching her in the back
Except that is a wheelchair girl. Isn't it? That is her. That's the same girl
Is it? Yeah

(01:40:58):
Who threw themselves off the cliff?
Wheelchair girl, I thought yeah
Listen, I don't it didn't gotta make sense. Nothing fucking else did
Yeah
I'm like 99% sure. That's what I call them
I thought this was storybook girl
Maybe it is maybe I'm wrong

(01:41:18):
Maybe i'm wrong. That's who I thought it was but I don't know
I thought she had the same face as wheelchair girl, but they all fuck I don't know. Mm-hmm
Oh, whoa, yeah

(01:41:42):
Hmm oh, yeah
Yeah, it's gonna right up in there
But don't mind if I do
Melanie's realizing these are not good people. Yeah

(01:42:07):
Melanie
Uh, yeah, she's like a little girl like I thought she was a little girl
Dang she got asplasso so hard her mouth's bleeding. Uh-huh. You do a lot of mouth bleeding in this movie, too

(01:42:28):
Yeah, there's the good stuff yeah got to get that poop
Oh, did you hear like a weird chirping sound she got hit with that wrench I did
There's not been any sounds in this film that made sense to me though, so I yeah
You know how much of a an accomplishment it is to make every sound in a two and a half hour movie fucking irritating

(01:42:54):
I'm gonna go ahead and do the same thing. I'm gonna go ahead and do the same thing
Melanie and her glistening boobies again, uh-huh tickle tickle tickle
Are we wrenching the pussy no, that was a knife. Okay, you think she asked for him to rearrange her guts

(01:43:18):
Uh
Uh, this is the abortion watching fingering, uh-huh
Yeah
But like she took the abortion movie out and threw it away
And now she's masturbating now. She's virtually signaling herself. She's a look how good I am
Melanie is a strange one

(01:43:41):
What's that?
I don't know for sure what came out of that little girl's vagina. Is that a little sausage?
Little blood sausage
Is it a poop sack what the fuck poop butt everyone's so poopy
Yeah
Not a wet wipe to be had

(01:44:03):
What did they pull out of that girl?
I don't know they're gonna fucking
Winnie the Pooh bear all the way back to the house
All the way back to the house, yeah, what the fuck is going on man
Wow
Don't bother with the pants now, sir

(01:44:25):
You're nearly there
Guess myles fucking off on a boat
fucking fag
I don't know if this raping lifestyle's for me anymore boys. I think I beat my last bitch today
Takes a man to realize when you're done

(01:44:46):
and you know, i'm not gonna say that's uh
last little girl i'm gonna rape and pull strange body parts out of but
Do you know I just don't have it in me anymore I
I don't get that same rush like I used to
I think it's time to hang up my hat boys

(01:45:14):
Anyway, y'all won't show me your peckers again
Ah, you can't just get out of the raping club man, yeah
You gotta die
Born in the game
Pulled all his guts out. Yeah, just super fast pulled all his guts out

(01:45:36):
well, he's
He's old he's old and viscous
Survive if this is wheelchair girl still i'm gonna fucking punch this tv screen
That is book reading girl, you're right that was the book reader, uh, I can tell by her fucking weird ass cheeks

(01:45:57):
Uh-huh
But only from a certain angle because these women's faces change dramatically. Yeah different
Yeah, they kind of looked similar
The wheelchair girl in the book girl
Is this fag crawling away from the book girl?
Is this fag crawling away after having his whole intestine removed?

(01:46:21):
Yeah
Oh, yeah, he's tough old bastard
Well, this girl got beaten the head with a wrench over and over and then got something cut out of her vagina
Yeah, she's missing body parts, too
Yeah, and she's just crawling along
It's a tramp

(01:46:42):
I guess we're just gonna crawl for another 30 minutes. He's dragging his little tube. Yeah
This little body tube that's probably not good
Probably not. It's probably gonna get infected. Yeah
You're gonna want to clean that off

(01:47:02):
Oh
All evanescent is but a parable don't bring amy lee into this the um inadequate
Here it's happening. It's indescribable
Here it's done
Bitch is bringing us down. That's what they said. Yeah
Yeah, it's all about adam and eve, isn't it? Women are a detriment to society

(01:47:25):
I think that's what they said. Yeah
It is their fault we keep regret like we keep having a society so you might be onto something
Uh-huh. Yeah, stop making people. I have to I get to stop watching these kinds of movies
Melanie's just been fucking
Whacking with

(01:47:48):
Abortion tapes. Yeah, yeah
Just tips and
for hours
Everybody's just covered in shit. Uh-huh a lot of poop
For hours everybody's just covered in shit. Uh-huh a lot of poop

(01:48:09):
Shitty girl
He's my little shitty girl
Look an extra cave man there
Yeah, that was
Fucking forehead is an issue. Yeah
Yeah, they're setting up a funeral pyre. Yeah, what the fuck? Whoa, that goat was eating her out, dude

(01:48:33):
Hey, get it. How you live. Whoa, she loves it. She's fucking that goat right now. Yeah, she likes it
Whoa
Fucking goats going crazy. Get it go
Everybody else is
No, is this where we is this where we is this where we come
In yeah, I think we're throwing all our bodies on the fire

(01:48:59):
Still alive this bag pretty impressive
Melanie's filming it now. She's
Part of the club. I'm gonna finger myself so hard to the shit
Uh-huh. Why is this what makes you puke? You just shat yourself and fingered yourself

(01:49:21):
Yeah, you're looking at the bonfire
I guess human burning probably isn't a great smell. Yeah. Yeah, the smell's probably really bad. Yeah, I guess I get it
I think it smells pretty good, but the poop of it all
Close to my heart. Oh now we get

(01:49:43):
Who is responsible for this fucking soundtrack?
This movie is my 13th reason
Yeah, that's a rough one man, it really is spam alum
Yeah, I'm a lot listen here my little turkish turkey

(01:50:08):
Yeah, we're about to put a spamel on time out. I've got some issues
Didn't she give us some bangers before this? Yeah, uh, I thought so
She did bring it up like in a sallow conversation
And I guess this is sallow. This is sallow adjacent. Uh, mention that it was
Equally as pretentious and whatnot

(01:50:31):
Okay
She's completely right on that
Except for it's strange
I would agree that they think they're being pretentious, but what they actually are is fucking stupid
Yeah
I think it's one of those kind of recommendations like you're not gonna like this but

(01:50:53):
No, okay. Well, I agree. I agree
then spam alum this was a group of idiots attempt to fucking
Pretentious art I think
Because I think that's what a lot of our recommendations are now like you're gonna hate this
Oh god, but it was like I want it. I want to hate something because it's so like visceral that it elicits

(01:51:15):
a reaction. I don't want to want to kill myself because
Finally another hard dick
Finally another hard dick
I don't know. I can't tell for sure
That's possibly a real dick

(01:51:36):
Maybe that's i'm gonna go real dick. I think it's real ugly though
Well, I think it was bald guy's dick. So
That's a terrible head. There's a terrible dick head
Yeah
Does he have any attractive qualities?
Look at this fucking sick soul patch

(01:51:57):
No
Look at the head of that thing
Look at it in the eye. Oh
Man she really is just featuring the best boobs, huh? Yeah. Yeah, she's just got the boobs more fucking snails

(01:52:24):
Whoa
That girl's a peeing fucking machine, dude
And pooping is that the same thing? Is that poop? Yeah, that was poop. That was poop
We're surely winding down here. We gotta be man. It's gotta be getting close
We have
All of a sudden an english this fucking all of a sudden we got english song

(01:52:49):
Oh, Melanie, what the fuck?
Just snip that snail's
Snails eyes antennas off. Yeah, and it made this guy freak the fuck out
He's having another
He's very connected to that snail
This is a snail heavy movie, man. Yeah

(01:53:11):
You killed gary
Is that's a spongebob thing, right?
Yeah, it is. See I knew spongebob
Spongebob. Oh, yeah, i've never seen an episode of sponge bomb, but I did I did know
I was pretty certain that the snail was called gary. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know what his role is, but

(01:53:32):
Dude fucking I don't even know 70% of this movie is just melanie walking around
Well, you and I did call it when we were starting. I said this is gonna be a lot of scenic
scenic bullshit with
Arbitrary music playing and boy golly wasn't it?
Fuck dude all of it god damn it, but then punctuated by

(01:53:55):
The most nonsensical non-sequitur dialogue
Oh, yeah
The only the only
Just wearing a gas mask, yeah
It's a little late for that, eh and she's pulling intestines out and shoving them into the dead body's mouth

(01:54:20):
Should've wore that for the mold dude. Oh my god. I think that fat guy's hard cock really turned me straight
That was a disgusting thing to behold
It was kind of a
Strange dick man. I don't know. I don't know
Do camera angles work on dicks too? That wasn't they absolutely do but like I've I've been on my knees underneath a hard dick

(01:54:43):
It didn't look it doesn't supposed to look like that
I don't know. I don't know. Wow, like I got burnt up just his eyes
Just like the baby doll, uh-huh, you know what you know what those burnt eyes look like though

(01:55:04):
Huh looks like them shitty butt holes
Yeah, now that's symbolism, uh-huh. I hope someone fingers them
So that survived though, hallelujah. Yeah, it's bad as soul patch to get burnt off
What is going on?

(01:55:26):
Why are there so many worms and like creepy crawlies
Well, it's because these people are fucking heat seeking missiles to fucking roadkill. Hey, there's the nun. Yeah
All right
Good to see she's doing well
There wasn't a single thing good to see in this fucking movie some nice hillsides

(01:55:49):
I got hills at home
I got better looking naked guys at home, too. This is a fucking travesty
Soul patches died long live soap. Look at it. Look at it
She's just gonna cover his face up with dirt. It's okay. Yeah, but the soul patch will stick out. Yeah

(01:56:15):
It's like a
It's on his face. No wonder it's so bleached. That's what he would have wanted. Yeah
She's a pissing machine dude, she'd be pissing a very pissy girl with a force
Pussy pussy pussy
Pretty ice too

(01:56:36):
It's Lana Del Rey's face if something went, you know if she didn't like it, she'd be like, oh my god
It's Lana Del Rey's face if something went, you know, if she didn't pump the brakes on the plastic surgery when she dead
Yeah
Where'd you get all them rocks bitch

(01:56:57):
From the nun.
Does that nun have a chin?
No.
How is there still more?
I know.
There's always more.
Yeah.

(01:57:18):
There's more and then there's more after that.
Oh my god, finally.
You piece of shit.
Fuck the best part of the movie right here.
I never felt so relieved.
Uh huh.
Yeah, that was rough.
Wow.

(01:57:42):
That was melancholy.
Yeah.
And we did not like it.
It's all around bad time.
Oh my god.
Listen, there was too fucking long.
There's a there's a super cut version of this.

(01:58:05):
That's pretty okay.
You act every bit of dialogue and you just show us music video.
Yeah.
Yeah, definitely.
Oh my god.
I don't.
Yeah, I don't even know what to say.
It was so long.
It was so long.
It was so long and so bad.

(01:58:25):
For what?
It's walking around the woods.
Yeah.
And beating bitches.
Beating girls and fingering asses and colostomy holes.
And I mean, that's great.
But I mean, and dead animals.
That's I mean, what?

(01:58:48):
Maybe 20 minutes.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
There's a 30 minute version of this that's pretty impactful.
Just for like, like, like shock and all.
Yeah, you got like two hours of bullshit in this movie.
Yeah, mom, this is garbage.
Yeah.
In the sound, the entire mixing of the entire movie is fucked.

(01:59:15):
I hope whoever sound engineered this is the last of that fucking
bloodline, and I hope when they go to meet their ancestors, they know
what the fuck they've done.
Like it sounded like the whole thing was like in the next room or something.
Yeah, the sound was bad.
It was too long and there was nothing good happening.

(01:59:42):
Yeah, I'm real glad that's over with.
I'm real bad, that was a very like draining experience.
Yeah, I never felt like so good about a movie ending like once that fucking
first credit hit, it felt so good.
Yeah.

(02:00:03):
Melancholy, Daringle.
Yeah.
Lisa, I need you to start reading in your what the fuck moment.
OK, what am I going to rate this fucking movie?
I don't know. On the one hand, I want to give it zero because I've never like
the urge to end it all has this is as strong as it's been for some time.

(02:00:26):
Yeah.
But we did get some bankers like fingering a colostomy hole is pretty rad.
Yeah, it's fresh, man. That's fresh.
And Melanie was hot.
Melanie was hot glistening titties.
Yeah.
I wish I would have seen them more, though.
Yeah. I'm going to go with one star.
No. One star.

(02:00:50):
My what the fuck moment is.
That girl squishing that little newt or frog or whatever the fuck it was
in her fingers for just no fucking reason, just sitting there squishing that thing.
That was yeah, I do think afterwards she held up the legs
and it looks very much like frog legs.

(02:01:11):
Yeah. Yeah. It looks like a little frog.
And I didn't have the little tail thing that I would assume the newt would have.
Yeah, she's sure they just squish the fucking shit out of it with her hands.
Yeah. The level of dead animals in this movie is insane.
Yeah. Relentless.
Like, I don't know, man.
I kind of thought, like in 2009, we would kind of be done with that shit.

(02:01:36):
But apparently not.
So I almost expected at this point from, you know, like a 70s or 80s movie.
But I kind of thought maybe we learned.
It's not cool to kill animals in movies.
Nope. All right, though, what is your star rating and what the fuck moment?

(02:02:02):
Yeah, I'm going to have to go zero, I think.
OK, I want to give it something just because there were some like,
no, we're going zero. Fuck everything about this.
I hated that I just spent two and a half hours on this.
Yeah.
Y'all didn't eat this.
God, my what the fuck moment is going to be.

(02:02:27):
A musty ass never made pretty farts.
No, surly.
A surly ass, a surly ass, not a musty ass.
Yeah, surly ass.
Yeah, loved that.
I loved that.
I loved fingering a colostomy bag.
Yeah.
In fact, I loved his dedication to fingering every shitty hole he could find.

(02:02:49):
Yeah.
So I want to give this something, but honestly,
the way this movie is going to be, I think,
yeah, the way this was presented, it was like they thought they were doing something.
They really thought they were doing something.
And you all weren't doing shit.
You were just doing shit.
Yeah, you were just shit.

(02:03:12):
It's got it's got some moments, but it's so watered down in the runtime that.
Yeah, it's wrapped up in this.
Yeah, zero stars.
Surly simulator.
Yeah, very pretty, very pretty bits.
I don't need two goddamn hours of it.
Uh huh. You bitch.

(02:03:36):
Yeah, so zero stars surly ass.
And what about you, Christopher?
What is your star rating and what the fuck moment?
I'm with you, man.
I want to give it something because it did have some good moments.
Some stuff we never seen.
I haven't seen Colostomy Bags yet.
And that's a really that's a I think there should be more shit about Colostomy Bags.

(02:03:58):
That's fucking wild.
Untap market. Yeah.
Yeah, but it's just so diluted in.
Two hours and 30 minutes of bullshit
that I can't give a good score like this is
it's black man's in life in the whole level.

(02:04:19):
Yeah, that's where it's at for me as well.
So, yeah, man, I think I think
I think I got to give it one star.
OK, because you don't have any zeros.
I don't have any zeros.
Mm hmm.
Well, he famously thinks one star is zero stars.
Yes. Yeah.

(02:04:39):
You know, it had a couple of, you know, cool
cinematic moments, a couple that got old.
It's pretty fucked up.
Things happen.
The Colostomy Bag and whatnot.
Mm hmm.
The whole the whole.

(02:05:00):
Mixing or sound engineering or whatever, it's just off.
I don't know. Maybe that's just the version we're watching or or what, dude.
But it was so bad.
I mean, it probably wasn't aided by that, but also it was all dubbed
and it was obviously like purely sound engineering.
So I think it's just garbage.

(02:05:22):
Yeah.
I want to give a special caveat shout out to the actor,
whoever he was that played Katja, the fat golem.
Probably four stars just for him,
because he really he really played whatever that was.
Yeah, he did.

(02:05:44):
And fuck everybody else and everything else.
I guess my what the fuck moment is when Fat Golem is going through one of his
spasms, I guess you would call it.
Many episodes.
Yeah, one of his episodes.
And he just gets up off this bed and just shits on that woman's vagina.

(02:06:07):
And then just diarrhea shits all over.
Yeah, because they really spread it out.
Yeah, and then he just rubbed it in and then walked away.
And then, of course, she and of course, she starts pissing.
Yeah, yeah, that's a good idea.
I got to get the poop out.
And it was just so battle left field.

(02:06:29):
Uh huh. It was crazy.
Five stars for that scene alone.
So I'm pretty sure that was real poop, man.
So I want to I want to help and pray that they wouldn't poop on someone's pussy.
Yeah, but I don't know.
I don't know either.
And then since we I guess we haven't brought it up on the podcast yet,

(02:06:54):
but we talked about it.
We both and I were wrong on flesh games when we said that guy didn't poop on the painting.
Yeah, literally.
On the painting. Yeah, Lisa.
Oh, right. Lisa called it.
She's like, he pooped on that painting.

(02:07:14):
Well, I thought surely, surely not.
I thought that was like why they angled it the way they did.
If you're actually going to poop, I thought they would have shown.
The poop. Yeah, I think that's just the world we're living in, like.
Yeah, we're like if somebody's poop and we're up in it, we're going to see the poop.
But yeah, but yeah.

(02:07:37):
And the angle that we had in this movie.
It looked like pooping.
It looked like pooping.
But it's just this.
I understand she was like willfully boob cut.
Yeah, I guess you can also be willfully pussy pooped.

(02:08:00):
Oh, God. Yeah.
That's some people's thing, I'm sure.
I just feels very unhygienic.
If you have that seems problematic, I don't know for sure.
I know pussies are incredible and capable of many wonderful things.
Yeah, I also have like pH balances and shit.

(02:08:24):
That's what I mean.
I also know they're prone to a lot of shenanigans.
And I don't know if you should introduce poop into the pussy ecosystem.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's probably frowned upon.
But I mean, she's a wild woman, dude.
Listen, she's done.
She knows what she wants. I'll give her that.

(02:08:44):
I think. Yeah.
All right, Lisa, how spicy is this movie?
This movie is a frozen bean and cheese burrito.
Is it because of the poop consistency?
Yeah. And, you know, and then you like warm it up in the microwave

(02:09:05):
and then you dump a whole bunch of Louisiana hot sauce on top.
Spicy poops.
Yeah, that's what this movie is.
Yeah. Yeah.
I see. Yeah.
Oh, Bo, how spicy is this movie?

(02:09:26):
You know, it was like
it like wasn't spicy. Am I crazy?
I don't know. I think it wasn't what we were expecting spicy wise.
But yeah, there is some crazy shit.
There's like it's it's a spicy movie.
It's just so diluted.
Yeah, that's what it is.
So yeah, that's yeah.

(02:09:47):
So what it is is it's
it's it's cereal, but.
The cereal is like dehydrated ghost peppers that that you eat in a bowl of milk.
OK, so it tastes bad.
It's terrible to get through.
You're chewing for a very, very long time.

(02:10:10):
And then you poop everywhere
because you're lactose intolerant and you've just eaten
a bunch of dehydrated ghost peppers.
Yeah, uncontrollable shit.
Yeah. Spotter pain.
Jackson Pooleck Jackson Pooleck.
Poop pussy.
Oh, my gosh.

(02:10:32):
What about you, Chris? How spicy is this film?
This film right here is
I'm going to go with S cargo.
Oh, there's a lot of snails featured.
Yeah. Yeah. Boiled in piss.
Yeah. I don't know.
I mean, as card as cargo, I assume you boil them.

(02:10:55):
Maybe you just fry them, huh?
I think there's a couple of different versions.
Yeah. Boiled and piss.
No.
I eat them.
I eat them theoretically.
Oh, and that I will never.
I don't.

(02:11:16):
For what?
You don't want to you don't want to admit to eating snails.
Just for what? You know, survival.
I understand that for funsies.
Yeah. Yeah. I don't know about her.
I mean, if we're going to branch, if we as a society
are going to branch into eating bugs, I guess snails is an all right place to start.

(02:11:38):
See, I'm in the well, I guess.
Yeah. Like PMS, maybe when they're crunchy,
you make anything like crunchy, I can probably manage.
Yeah. I mean, you slather anything in enough like sauce and seasoning.
I fucking eat it, dude.
Yeah. Dip it in some barbecue.
Yeah. Yeah. You won't take the vinegar based kind. Yeah.

(02:11:58):
I can probably I mean, Taco Bell gets away with it.
So I've had those big crickets before the grasshoppers
that are like as long as your hand.
I've had one of those that was like roasted on a fire thing.
But I was in a literal fucking I was in South America
and it was like what we were doing there.
I don't know.

(02:12:19):
I'm not going somewhere and ordering fucking expensive.
I'm not ordering snails.
Yeah. Fuck no.
Mm hmm. Especially when there's like shit like, I don't know, steak
on the menu, a nice bowl of rice.
Why would I fuck around with snails? Yeah.
A glass of fresh potable water.

(02:12:40):
Yeah. Fuck it. Fuck this.
All right. All this has to do is slot this in on your leaderboard.
Oh, shit. Yeah.
Um.
Good God.
OK.

(02:13:00):
This is a really hard one for me right now.
It's going to go above terrible meal.
Damn. I know.
OK. I know it was very hard.
That is. I think I'd watch terrible meal before I watch this again.
I don't know.
Yeah, I really didn't like terrible.

(02:13:23):
Economy wise. Yeah, definitely.
I would. I don't know.
I would maybe almost give this one another chance just to make sure it's not,
you know, just me. Yeah.
It's really it's a hard sell to know that something is.
Two and a half hours of something you did to us a lot.

(02:13:46):
Yeah, that's a lot.
For there to be so few like highlights in two and a half hours is.
Uh huh. Yeah. So new number 31 for me.
Did better than I thought it was going to for Lisa. Yeah.
But where is it going to go on your leaderboard?

(02:14:06):
Mine's going to be, I think, almost the same.
I think mine will be number is it is it is it above or below Lolita?
I think it's well below Lolita, but I think so.
Yeah, I know. I had a bad day that day.
I know. Yeah, I'd watch Lolita fucking 10 times before I watch this again.

(02:14:26):
Yeah, I think I have to.
I think it's going to go right below Lolita.
Or should I? No, I can't put it above Lucky Sky Diamond, can I?
I'm so sorry. I lied.
It's got to go below Lucky Sky Diamond.
Yeah, life in the hole.
Lucky Sky Diamond's way better than this, except for the screaming.
If if not for the screaming.

(02:14:48):
I know I kind of I don't really like Lucky Sky Diamond.
Yeah, the screaming of it all.
I want to watch Lucky Sky Diamond again.
Simply because I know I'm a good old days.
Yeah, I told you guys that almost good.
No, I didn't.
It boiled down to I almost didn't survive the first couple of minutes

(02:15:11):
because it was just the leadless screaming and the beating.
And I was like, OK, I can't do this.
Yeah.
So it's a lot of my issues with these movies are sound based.
So this one, the sound.
Yeah, maybe if even the soundtrack was something different,
I wouldn't have hated this one so much.
I don't know for sure, but it was what it was.

(02:15:33):
So it's it's poop, mama.
Poop. Yeah, man, you fix the fucking mixing on this.
I would probably be a lot better, too.
Oh, yeah, maybe. Yeah, maybe.
What about you, Chris?
Was it going on your leaderboard?
Oh, man, I'm kind of surprised how high you guys have this one.

(02:15:53):
I thought this is going to be like bottomless.
Well, I kind of wanted to.
And then I remember I'm reminded what the bottom of the list
actually looks like. And I'm here to tell you.
Yeah, they're they're all competing for last.
By the time you get to like 30 ish, they're all competing for last.
Uh huh. Yeah, my 31 and down is all just.

(02:16:15):
Yeah, garbage, fresh, hot garbage.
And, you know, I might change my mind on some of those later,
like Devil's Experiment.
Well, I was just thinking, I was like, maybe Lucky Sky Diamond deserves better.
Yeah. It's again with the screaming.

(02:16:36):
I know I'm kind of the same boat with Android.
I was I was hating on that movie, but I didn't care for it.
I didn't know what I had at the time.
Yeah, that's true. We were younger.
But yeah, those were better times.
And we're naive. Yeah.
I wish I had enjoyed Notre Dame right now. Yeah.
Oh, man, this is going to go.

(02:16:58):
It's fucking bottom of the barrel for me, guys.
Yeah, it's real. Wow.
It's bad. Worse than Nazi sex.
Those are there.
That's the thing. They both have some life in the hole.
This one had better moments than Nazi sex was, though, I think.
See, that's I fucked up life in the hole needs to be on the bomb.
Uh huh. Yeah, that makes sense.

(02:17:20):
It's black mass bad, but at least at least at the beginning of this one,
we called it what this would be.
And then we just had to endure it.
You spent all of black mass asking, where's the is he the sex wizard?
Yeah.
Also, though, did you guys hear any in words in this movie?
I didn't hear shit. Yeah.

(02:17:40):
I can't hear a fucking thing.
Well, I heard, uh, I heard three racial epithets that could be equated to it.
OK. Yeah, I was like, I don't remember seeing it.
I also didn't see it in the subtitles,
but also some of those subtitles weren't even spelled correctly
and were just like, I don't know.

(02:18:01):
Some of those subtitles weren't even spelled correctly and were just the wrong words.
So I don't know who was responsible for that, but they they were wrong a lot.
Yeah. Some titles were fucked.
They had weird symbols and stuff. Yeah.
Yeah. A lot of money.
I'm putting it at the very bottom, dude.
All right. Bottom of the list.

(02:18:22):
That's valid garbage.
I still think life on the whole is a little bit worse, but.
My list is fucked up.
Mm hmm. It's got problems.
Yeah, just like you.
Well, that's it.
We're finally done with this damn movie.
Yeah, we got to get out of here.

(02:18:42):
This was bullshit. It ruined my day. Yeah.
It's a fucking school night.
That's it for melancholy.
They're in go.
Mm hmm. Next week, it's our pick.
It's my pick.
What? What? Lisa has a movie.
Yeah. Wow.

(02:19:03):
OK. It's my pick.
I've been pushing this movie off for a while, and finally I'm like, hey,
this is what we're doing.
Is that how to lose a guy in 10 days?
No, we're going to do martyrs.
OK. OK. Martyrs.
Yeah. The French version. Oh.

(02:19:23):
Because the American version was shitty.
Yeah. I was about to say, did you guys see the?
Yeah. Yeah, we did.
It's for the worst movie we've ever seen. Garbage.
Yeah. The American one was shit.
Yeah. Real bad.
Mm hmm. It made me like the original one a little bit less.
It was so bad. Yeah.
Yeah. Anything that could be responsible for this.

(02:19:46):
Like.
Sins of the father.
For the pod. Yeah.
Save it for next week. Anyway, martyrs.
Martyrs. Yeah. Martyrs next week.
My pick is going to be the best movie we've watched.
Yeah. I don't know.
Last time you picked it was slotted vomit dolls.

(02:20:08):
That's not true. I have never picked a movie on this podcast.
I think it's going to be one of the few that we've all three seen.
Yeah. Already.
It's just a rarity. Uh huh.
Tune in for martyrs next week.
Yeah. Oh, what the fuck are you watching?

(02:20:29):
Say bye, bitch. Bye, bitch. Bye, bitch.
That's damn good.
Did you think this podcast was as good as instant noodles
or is it more like a cobalt blue tarantula?
Leave us a rating and review wherever you're listening to this podcast at.
Get in touch with us at WTF.

(02:20:50):
Are you watching pod at Gmail dot com where you can leave reviews
for the movies we've been watching, recommend other movies for us to watch
or leave any questions or comments for us to answer.
Either way, thanks for listening.

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