January 4, 2025 • 64 mins
Deep from the bowels of WTF are you Watching comes an episode long forgotten.
Terrifier 3 (2024).
This episode also marks the first appearance of the mythical Jack.
Enjoy!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I was cleaning out the attic of the What the Fuck Are You Watching studio and stumbled upon this episode, masturbating with a shard of glass. 2 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,000 Who knows how long it's been here?
(00:13):
It's your problem now.
You will be given a test to determine your ability to withstand shock.
Well, look who's here.
This is the night when fear and horror walk hand in hand.
Do you feel up to it?
The most terrifying form of evil is that which lurks within the human mind.
(00:39):
Rated X.
Welcome to What the Fuck Are You Watching?
We're a weekly movie podcast discovering the bizarre, the disturbing, the extreme, and everything in between.
Most of the time for the first time.
Before we started this podcast, I had only ever seen The Land Before Time.
(01:07):
It's right on that.
Yeah.
So this has been an eye-opening experience for me.
I'm your host, Chris.
This is my final girl, Lisa.
Hello.
We're also joined by, it's Bo.
(01:30):
That's me.
Oh my God.
And we got a special treat for you today.
Folks.
I'm trying not to use gendered language anymore.
Folks.
Jack likes it when you use terms like sport and pal and buddy.
What if we start saying kids?
(01:52):
Hey kids.
I hate that one by the way.
I mean, you know, we make a lot of pedophile jokes.
Yeah, but I don't want to talk to them.
That's not what they're here for.
Anyway, we interrupted you.
Very, very special guest to me.
It's Jack.
(02:13):
You've heard about him for so long.
He's here.
It's Jack.
Yes, it is.
I am here.
Thank you for having me.
Thanks for joining us, dude.
I know.
We're excited you're here, Jack.
Oh, I'm nervous, but excited too.
I got a little bonus episode for you today.
(02:35):
We are going to cover Terrifier 3.
We got to watch it in theaters and we thought we'd do a little episode on it.
Little bonus episode.
Talk about our thoughts and our feelings.
I'm going to say right off the top.
(02:56):
Probably going to spoil literally everything.
Yeah.
Or nothing because it was two weeks ago and none of us paid that much attention apparently.
That is also correct.
So just, we might not spoil anything, but just go into it thinking we're going to spoil everything.
Yeah, because we are not going to be careful with our words.
(03:18):
Sorry.
In more ways than one.
Which will differ from past iterations of this episodic journey we're on because we're typically so careful and calculated and considerate.
Yeah.
Terrifier 3.
First of all, I'm a little disappointed that nobody in our theater threw up or passed out.
(03:41):
There was barely anyone in our theater.
Oh, it's funny that there was like 14 people there and we were what, eight of them?
Yeah, that's true.
Or seven.
Seven, yeah.
Yeah, we were probably half of the audience.
We were.
They weren't even going to start the movie for us.
(04:02):
Yeah, they forgot we were even there.
Like, I don't know.
There was only one other movie playing and it's just not a big theater.
So you're just not going to play 50% of the movies playing at that time.
Two buttons is a lot.
This was a calculated attack.
This was like a formal, like silent protest and they didn't want to play the movie for us.
(04:25):
Yeah, they saw a bunch of fags and kids going into that fucking showroom.
I don't know about that.
I'm just not going to play anything and see how long they sit in the fucking theater.
It was a social experiment.
Yeah.
Oh my God, it was so crazy.
It would have kept going too.
Like I had to go in, I had to go find them and say, turn the movie on.
(04:49):
Yeah.
Well, I guess we'll just kind of go to our just kind of general thoughts of the movie.
I thought the movie was awesome.
I really liked it.
It's fucking Gore City.
We watched a guy gets a chainsaw shoved in his ass.
Yeah.
And ripped all the way up his back.
And then the dude gets flipped over and you just see his cockatiel balls just get shredded by that chainsaw man.
(05:16):
And it's just going up, cutting him from Lynn.
Look at intestines everywhere.
And then in the blood pool, Arthur Clowns just makes a little blood angel snow angel type thing.
It was a beautiful scene.
This is music playing in the background.
(05:39):
Beautiful scene.
This movie sets the stage really well from the beginning, though.
It's very like a Hallmark Christmas movie.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, the beginning.
Yes.
Yeah.
(06:00):
When Jack was younger and naive and thought he could survive this movie going experience.
Yeah.
He told us he told us about the opening scene.
He was like, yeah, I heard the opening scenes bad.
And I thought, I don't know, because they compare it to where we end up.
(06:21):
Yeah. On the tamer side, that opening.
I don't even know if I really remember it that well, to be honest.
Oh, it's a lot of it's more like psychological damage and gratuitous score at first because it's the little girl.
Well, it's the bitch wife.
Yeah.
Yeah. To the husband. Relatable.
You know, just the happy happy.
(06:42):
Yeah. Yeah.
That's what us bitch wives do.
Yeah. You guys just don't know.
You know.
Yeah.
She's the she's.
She the daughter hears something on the roof.
She says something on the roof.
She comes into the bedroom to call attention to it, to the parents.
(07:04):
Yeah.
The bitch wife goes and assures the girl.
This is where the plot lost all plausibility for me because she to a slay the girl and convince her and bribe her to go back to sleep.
She says, well, if you go to sleep, I'll leave out some milk and cookies for.
Santa's elves who are here checking to make sure we have enough roof space to accommodate his load.
(07:29):
Important.
Hell, yeah. But this is where we lose our regulation reality because then the little girl goes to bed and the mom actually pulls out some fucking milk and cookies.
Are you parents of children telling me that if that lie worked on your child, you would actually then produce the milk and cookies?
(07:54):
Oh, yeah, because she's going to call you on it that later that morning, you're going to have to deal with more bullshit early in the morning.
Maybe I don't know. I can't relate because we never did the Santa bullshit with our kids.
Well, that's a wild thing in and of itself, right? Yeah.
Like my kids have always known there's no Santa.
We told him the cold, hard truth.
I can tell by his facial expression that Jack does not relate with.
(08:17):
I know Jack's like, oh, wow, what the fuck?
Right. Yeah, no. Sorry, man.
But hey, to each their own.
Are you a hearty Santa Claus believer?
I already know the answer to this in my soul.
Well, I kind of figured it out when I was six, when I caught my parents bringing stuff in.
So the magic was there. Not for long.
(08:39):
Right. Yeah. Yes.
Where were you at on that? Where were you at on that? Tooth fairy.
Bullshit. The entire thing.
OK. But yeah, I digress.
Yapping life notices that the door is now unlocked and she attributes this to her
husband having forgotten to lock the door again.
(09:00):
So she goes back upstairs for yappy, happy happen time.
Yeah. And she even tells him to make sure he eats the cookies.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That little girl hears more noises.
So she's on the she's an investigator.
He's going to be Jones. She's Cindy Lou who?
But with a more human nose and way less hairspray.
(09:28):
I'm pretty sure that fucking the actor, David Howard Thornton, I think he was the Grinch.
Not the Jim Carrey Grinch, but obviously.
Yeah.
He wasn't Jim Carrey.
He was playing.
Grinch.
I don't even know who he's saying.
(09:50):
Art the clown.
Yeah, yeah.
Art the clown.
Yeah.
He was the Grinch.
I mean, that man really was great at this.
Oh yeah.
He fucking kills it.
Yeah.
So Art the Clown is a meme.
Yeah.
I love art.
Which is a great place to start from.
Yeah.
I think this dude's got like actual mime work too.
(10:14):
Is that a difficult skill set you think?
Uh, diff.
Oh shit, I don't know.
I think I could pull off Mimory.
Well you know, hopefully since Terrifier 3 is blowing up, he will go on to some bigger
parts.
Yeah.
(10:34):
Cause he's very good.
Oh yeah.
I liked.
Have we heard him speak though?
What if that's a fucking...
What if his voice is a shit show?
What if he sounds like me?
Uh, he doesn't sound as gay.
He sounds a little bit gay.
Yeah.
If you don't come from theater and start playing the mime.
Yeah, right.
(10:55):
I'm sucking a couple cocks.
Okay, so he made a movie called The Mean One where he played a Grinch character.
It's like a horror movie.
Okay.
Well, little girl goes on the prowl and then she finds Santa Claus standing with his back
(11:16):
turned towards her, towards the Christmas tree, as well as his sack full of goods.
And he then starts producing the sack full of goods.
Namely like a fireman's hatchet act situation.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He has a bunch of weapons in there.
(11:38):
And then he like goes upstairs to the little boy's room, doesn't he?
Yeah, he goes to the little girl's brother's room first.
And she, instead of, you know, trying it all to save the life of that poor boy, just sort
of stood there and watched and listened as Arthur...
(11:59):
It's implied through sound that he hatchets the boy pretty good.
There's some loud noises too, man.
Yeah.
And he slashes and slashes and crunches.
Yeah.
It's those exaggerated sound effects that we love so much.
(12:20):
It's pretty brutal, man.
You didn't even see anything, but you felt it.
Yeah.
I guess we do jump straight to Gori pretty much immediately afterwards though, because
he goes to the parents' room next and starts with the husband.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then she's like, what's going on?
(12:41):
You know?
Yeah.
Somehow not.
This is what would happen.
Someone could come hatchet Jack to sleep right next to death right next to me and I would
wake up sort of similarly.
Did you chill the fuck out?
Did you fucking piss yourself?
Why are you wet?
No, he got like eight solid swings in on the husband before she even actually kind of started
(13:02):
to wake up.
It's just like, okay, what?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Yeah.
How about that one?
Yeah.
And she just, yeah, I don't even, I think she did say something along the lines of like,
can you calm down or what are you doing?
Or.
And then she's like.
Yeah, she's in the irritation at some point.
And then she's like trying to like push him, you know, and.
(13:25):
I told you to.
Wack off in the bathroom.
Damn it.
I think she actually like feels the huge puddle and she's just like, how would you know, he's
obviously a bed wetter because she doesn't seem that the puddle.
Yeah.
Then the hue of it seemed to trigger something for her though.
(13:45):
Yeah, I get that.
Yeah.
Yeah, dude.
You wake up in puddles pretty often.
Yeah, all the time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, you know, I'm working on it.
She started making me sleep in a trash bag.
Oh, yeah.
Oh my God.
That intro was pretty wild.
(14:07):
Holly jelly Christmas.
It was.
Yeah.
And then, you know, we just see where the second movie left off.
I liked how they started where the second movie left off with Chris Jericho.
Oh yeah.
I thought the what's her name?
I think Victoria or Vicki or something like that.
(14:28):
Yeah.
Girl with the crazy face.
Yeah.
I thought she did a pretty good job.
She's fucking wild, man.
The devil, the devil bitch.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I liked her.
Yeah.
So she was the victim from the first movie.
Got her face chewed off by Art the Clown.
I made out with a guy like that once.
(14:50):
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah, someone who like gets there like almost like a running start and like mouth agape.
Yeah.
Like like like even Tyler, you know, they just want to drool.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(15:11):
She's really cool, man.
Art the Clown fucking kills it in this movie.
I think he's getting like he's kind of hamming it up a little bit more in this one.
Which were my favorite parts from the first two.
So I loved it.
Yeah.
Well, I thought that's why Chris's friend Jack here was going to make it because I thought
(15:31):
that there would be enough comedic relief from our friend Art that it could sustain
him somehow.
Yeah, no, no.
Sorry.
At some point in that movie, he stops being funny.
I mean, he stays pretty.
He stays pretty goofy.
Oh, no, you're right.
Yeah.
My favorite was at the very end when Sienna's like tie that chair.
(15:56):
Anytime he walks past her, he starts to sweat in the back of the head.
I love that too.
Yeah.
Now, my favorite starts in that very first scene.
The wife's like Rod Curly screaming now that she's noticed her husband being butchered
and Art just starts pantomiming the like screaming.
(16:17):
Oh, yeah.
Everything he does is hilarious to me.
Yeah, for sure.
Me too.
Do you guys think he's like unstable slasher status up there with like Freddie and Jason
all that?
Most definitely.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think so.
I think it depends on where the franchise ends up, right?
(16:41):
Because these it's not I think he's qualified.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He doesn't have the same.
I guess you got to build up the legacy or something.
Yeah.
He doesn't have the prestige of them yet.
He's working up bodies and he's doing it in style.
Yeah, for sure, dude.
You never know what he's going to pull out of that bag.
(17:02):
Yeah, I know.
Sometimes it's a fucking pistol, dude.
I know.
That's my favorite part because it's like a slasher movie.
Like he's just cutting people up and then out of nowhere, he'll just pull out a gun
and shoot.
Yeah.
Never expect the fucking gun, dude.
You never expect it.
Yeah.
And I'm sure some people don't like that because, yeah, your usual slasher has like their weapon,
(17:25):
a machete or fucking butcher knife or something.
Art uses whatever the fuck he wants, dude.
Sometimes it's a nine millimeter.
I also like how in every movie he always goes to like his little crafting station and crafts
a new fucking wild weapon that he ends up using later in the movie.
(17:47):
I think another one of my favorite parts, funny parts was the bar scene.
That was probably my favorite part.
I liked this a lot too.
I like hanging out with strangers and then pissing on them or like just pissing on the
(18:09):
floor.
Yeah.
That's great.
I can't think of a single situation that that doesn't bring the mood up.
Oh yeah.
That is great, man.
And I guess that's where he gets his Santa Claus outfit because he meets a Santa Claus,
a mall Santa, I guess you'd say.
(18:32):
He lets him sort of, he sits like on his lap on that bar still for a second, doesn't he?
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
And mall Santa's drunk and then he's like, all right boys.
They're having a good time.
I'm wearing the suit.
So I'm saying I'm all let him do Santa stuff.
Yeah.
Well, Santa's like a good guy, right?
(18:52):
He can tell this guy's fucking off kilter.
Yeah.
Yeah, dude.
Santa was a fucking real one, man.
Yeah.
He was just like, okay.
He wasn't even Superman about getting peed on.
Yeah.
I mean, he kept calling him clowning.
Come on clowning, let's get out of here.
Let's get out of here clowning.
(19:12):
I was really disappointed when Art killed that guy, man.
Yeah.
It was a pretty brutal way too.
Yeah.
Liquid nitrogen, fucking fire extinguisher.
Yeah, dude.
Art basically builds like a freeze ray or some shit, turns him into a snowman.
(19:34):
Breaks his arms and shit.
Yeah.
And then his arms, his shins, and his face.
Yeah.
The shins going really hurt me.
I don't know if it brought me back to soccer days or what, but I.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I didn't like that.
(19:57):
Fucking rip Santa Claus beard off.
Well, yeah, because he was pulling on his beard at first, you know, and he was like,
oh, it's real.
Yeah.
That's how you know I'm the real Santa.
I have a real beard.
I think Art killed him out of a sense of justice.
He's like, well, you lied.
You're not the real fucking Santa.
Yeah.
(20:18):
Well, and Art had to take the beard so he could be the real Santa.
Yeah.
And the whole rest of the movie is wearing this bloody old nasty beard, dude.
It was crazy.
Yeah.
A solid runner up is near the end, I guess, where he's finally got his.
Santa Claus.
(20:39):
We've shown how he arrived at the Santa Claus costume and he's at the mall.
Oh, yeah.
And they have a they have a corral set up with children.
I call them Lane Bryant moms.
They all have the little yoga pants and puffy vests on.
They all have the same costume.
(21:00):
But I've seen this in real life, so it's real.
This is what they look like.
And it goes on a break and Art
Seizes the opportunity to fill in for mall Santa and he's giving actual gifts to the
children who come and sit on his lap.
Yeah, he just wants to be Santa.
Yeah, dude, those kids are loving it, too, man.
(21:22):
Yeah.
So one gets a fucking bomb.
Yeah, one gets a bomb.
Well, no.
Well, so the parents finally start to catch on.
Or like one of the arrows gets something like that's not fucking Santa.
That dude smells bad and is also a different person.
My makeup line took them way too long to figure out that was not Santa Claus.
(21:49):
Oh, yeah.
Well, you know, how stoned are you?
And you didn't have to go anywhere today, Jack.
Say what?
Said how?
Well, I was going to make a comparison.
I was like, how stoned do you have to be to be a fucking mall elf?
Oh, you got to be pretty fucking baked.
Yeah.
Oh, I see.
I mean, it's doable and you can enjoy it, but you got to be pretty, pretty high up there.
(22:13):
Because I might just I might just let it play out if I'm one of them all else.
I'm like, well, let's see what this guy's got in store.
I don't know.
I don't care.
You know.
Yeah.
Fuck them kids.
And I don't think art gave the kid the bomb.
I think that was the kid pulled it out of the bag.
(22:34):
Yeah, because art's already been like ran off by now.
Oh, really?
And it's left there.
And one of the kids is like, well, who's my presence?
So he's looking through what's left and he finds that one, which, you know, if he wouldn't
have dug through somebody else's bag, he wouldn't have got a fucking bomb.
Mind your business.
Yeah.
Teach your kids to fucking not be assholes.
(22:57):
I was not expecting a bomb.
I really thought it's going to be like, I don't know, a dead cat or something.
Or I don't know, somebody's face bomb.
I was I was kind of expecting all the presence to be a bomb, to be honest, but not that big
of a explosion.
All of us are little ones.
Yeah, dude.
Just blowing up each individual kid.
(23:19):
That would have been hilarious.
It's like a line of kids blowing up as they open their presents.
Yeah, yeah.
Pretty much.
I guess it would have been a little on that, like because this whole thing was a little
bit it felt like the Joker, like it like the animated Joker.
(23:41):
Yeah, it was especially this whole bit.
I expected like, you know, like Jack in the Box type stuff, because those are scary anyway.
So that would have been cool.
Oh, another fucking wild scene was tell me what the fuck happened here, because Art gets
(24:02):
his new head, right?
And him and Vicky are I don't know, they find a little house to settle down in for a while.
They almost go into like a hibernation.
Art sits in a rocking chair, which is an homage to Black Christmas.
Vicky fucking I don't know, she's not happy that her face is all fucked up and she slips
(24:23):
her wrists and chills in a bathtub.
And they sit there for five years until a demolition crew goes in to clear the house,
probably looking for squatters or something.
Probably have to do that.
Yeah.
Unfortunately, they stumble upon Art and fucking icky Vicky and chaos ensues.
(24:44):
Who do you want to follow, like do you want to happen upon Vicky or Art?
Which one do you want to be?
You got to be one of them.
I think I'm going to be one of them.
If you're going to happen upon one of them in a house, which one do you think you can
take?
I think I'll take, I think I guess I'll try to take Vicky.
(25:07):
I don't know.
Art's got a bag full of guns and shit.
Yeah, that's true.
But that's also hilarious.
Yeah.
Vicky is a fucking wild animal though.
So she's got that, she's got that dog in her.
Yeah.
I'd go with Art because I'm going to die either way.
You're fucked.
(25:27):
Yeah.
It's fucking hilarious.
He's at least cool to hang out with.
Yeah.
I'll just laugh the whole time he's killing me.
Yeah.
All Vicky can do is suck your dick and it won't even survive.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
I don't know.
What are you going to get from Art, man?
It could be a quick death.
You could peel your fucking face off.
Yeah.
(25:48):
He might just honk his little horn at you.
Yeah.
Piss on your lap.
Yeah.
Listen, I'm all into that.
But yeah, those, the demolition crew, they get the worst of it.
And Art's like peeling one's fucking face off basically, I think with like maybe a box
(26:08):
knife or something.
Yeah.
And Vicky's off in the doorway, pleasuring herself with a broken piece of mirror.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She's going to war.
Yeah, that was rough.
Oh, it's brutal.
And then when Art is done killing that guy, he like shakes his finger at her like this.
(26:32):
Yeah.
Bad girl.
Yeah.
Maybe that's her.
Like she misses being a young, a young lady in her prime.
She's like, I need my monthly blood.
Yeah.
I don't know what the fuck's going on with Vicky.
I don't know.
She's like, I also don't know what to tell you about their hibernation.
(26:54):
I will say where this movie is typical of the genre, though.
It's a lot suspicious, so I don't know what to tell you.
I guess they just needed a break.
You know, everyone gets burnt out.
Maybe they just needed a little breather.
I mean, Art did get decapitated.
Yeah, he's probably tired.
(27:16):
Yeah.
He had a girl, a whole new head, like inside of Vicky's womb, I'm assuming.
That was the most cartoonish scene.
Yeah.
I was I was very confused by that.
Like I was not understanding what all was going on, but I figured it was probably something
from the previous movie that I missed.
(27:39):
So yeah, that's a continuation of it.
But it was it was still cartoonish.
Yeah.
Well, in Terrifier 2, Art gets decapitated by Sienna with her magic power sword.
Yeah.
That's the end of the movie.
OK.
So she out of nowhere just births.
(28:01):
She's locked in a mental hospital and Art's been decapitated.
And then all of a sudden she's giving birth to his head.
So she's like holding the head like a baby.
It's just Art's fucking nasty looking head.
Yeah, it doesn't make any sense, but whatever.
It's horror movie logic, I guess.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's fine.
I know these are like hell spawn creatures.
(28:21):
I don't you know, I don't.
Yeah, that's why it gets kind of weird, because I mean, the first movie you kind of almost
assumed Art was like human because you even seen a paint his face.
Yeah, I don't know if this was a this is like a deal with the devil thing.
I don't know how we ended up where we did.
(28:43):
But maybe shit changed now that he got decapitated.
I don't know the story behind an art.
I don't think anybody does.
I don't even think maybe with her dying breath, Becky, like made a deal with Lilith or something
and was like, I'll be here.
Yeah, she's 100 percent demon, right?
Yeah, that's the fucking that's that's a devil bitch.
I think she was even trying to like, is this kind of like open a gate to hell or something?
(29:09):
Or she does.
I don't know.
Yeah.
And I don't I don't even know what Art's role is in this whole little thing.
No, I guess our final girl, Sienna and Art are.
They are linked in some way, destined to duel it out like Batman and the Joker.
This was supposed to be five years after Terrifier 2 then.
Yeah.
You said they hibernated for five years.
(29:31):
Yeah.
OK.
Well, they I think they said so on the on a screen.
Yeah, I was like, yeah, because Sienna has spent the last five years in a mentalist place,
not an asylum, but like a rehab place, I guess.
I'm telling you, they got better shampoo in that rehab than I got.
(29:53):
Because she comes out fucking full, you know, 18 inch yaki bundles of voluptuous locks.
Oh, my gosh.
Yeah.
So what do we think of like Sienna as a final girl, almost like the Sidney Prescott's of
Scream or the Laurie Strauss of Halloween?
(30:16):
Do you think she's?
I liked her.
Oh, yeah.
I think she does that.
Like I'm seeing visions over there, but pretty convincingly.
Oh, yeah.
That was pretty cool scene, too.
Because then she's she's good at snapping back into it and being like, all right, we
all know that was weird.
I'm going to go fuck off now.
Yeah.
The brother, though.
(30:40):
Get a grip, my guy.
This little twink.
I don't know about her.
That's why I was like, it's supposed to be five years later, because I don't feel like
he's grown up five years in that time.
Well, he's purportedly in college.
It doesn't he's not aided by the fact that that's what he fucking looks like, dude.
That's a fucking 11 year old boy.
(31:01):
I know.
I see him on Instagram and stuff.
And like, he just looks terrified all the time.
Which you know, like this permanent face like.
That's how we got the ropes.
They're like, well, that's what we need.
We need a fucked up kid here.
That kids obviously seen some shit.
(31:24):
But yeah, I think I do like Sienna as a final girl type character.
I really liked how they're kind of going like a weird fantasy direction.
They kind of did it more in in two, where she's almost like this Valkyrie warrior angel
girl.
Yeah, but I thought I was dissatisfied by like they kept leaning into that.
(31:46):
But then they I don't know.
She didn't really do shit in this movie.
That last little battle sequence was so farcical that I I know I was dissatisfied by that bit.
And it's it kind of took almost like a I don't know, maybe like an anime or a Power Rangers
sort of thing where it's like.
(32:07):
It absolutely did.
I've got this fucking gets her only sword and I'm the fucking chosen one.
Yeah, she gets her ass whoops the whole fucking movie until the very last second when she
gets the fucking sword in her hand and now everybody's fucked.
Hopefully we don't rinse and repeat that for the next fucking hundred movies.
Yeah, we're going to I think though.
(32:29):
Probably.
Because the next one's surely what the the the mission to go save her little niece or
whatever.
It's got to be.
They've got to go to hell to save them.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And get the sword because it fell down there, too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(32:50):
I know, man.
Is that that whole bit, too?
They're like, she's dangling off the edge.
Let me hold on to this fucking blade.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
They try to pull you up.
Yeah, there's there's like pillows and curtains and shit right next to you.
Mm hmm.
Well, I think she's a sword.
I think she knew the power of the sword.
(33:11):
She can never be cut by the sword.
I mean, she definitely got cut by the sword, but it healed up.
But I want devil bitch break every bone in her wrists right before this.
So I don't.
Yeah, you know, you don't have grip strength anyway.
Don't use what you got on the fucking sharpest ordained holy sword at her disposal.
Her hands are all fucked up.
(33:32):
And then, well, yeah, because at first she's like, she can hold the blade just fine and
try to pull the girl up.
It's got the healing.
And the heartbeat, she goes from cerebral palsy to fucking Valkyrie.
Yeah, it's a little wild.
Which I guess, yeah, typical horror movie.
I couldn't see any of this at this point.
Oh, yeah, this is when he had his face buried.
(33:54):
This is when you assumed the sort of what would you call that position?
Sideways fetal.
Yeah, I guess.
Anything to not be involved with the whatsoever.
Yeah, walking out.
Yeah, I'm glad you didn't walk out on us.
(34:14):
I wonder if he wants to use the restroom at a sort of pinnacle part.
I know.
I thought I was.
I wonder if he's returning.
Motherfucker.
I have to go fish him out of the parking lot.
I don't know.
I went to I mean, I didn't use the restroom, but I also wanted to hit my pen a couple of
times and hit the vape.
Yeah, because in the in the lead up to us watching the movie, I would always see people
(34:38):
talking like, oh, that shower scene, that shower scene.
And then Jack goes to the bathroom and then I see the fucking shower and I'm like that
motherfucker.
I know he knew about it.
And also the only smut.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What are your thoughts on CNN?
(35:01):
I liked her.
You know, we watched all three recently, so we saw her for the second one to this one.
And I've liked it.
And I do compare her a lot to Sydney from Scream.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think she has that same kind of final girl vibe.
(35:22):
Yeah.
I think that actress is good.
I think a bit of her is probably more attributed to the writers.
She had some goofy bits.
Yeah.
I don't really know if that's on her.
Yeah, I agree.
What do we think about the.
What is this, her sister and her sister's husband?
(35:45):
I think it's her aunt.
Yeah, but I'm so confused by this.
Me too, because I thought sister is if that's her if that's her aunt's daughter.
That's just your cousin.
That's her cousin.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I was confused by this for the whole film.
I couldn't really decide what the relationships were here.
(36:07):
I swear it was.
She kept saying on it.
Well, the old guy kept calling her her niece or her his niece or whatever.
Yeah.
Old guy.
Older guy.
None of these people were old.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The old guy that was probably like my age.
He's hot.
I mean, he was supposed to be the uncle.
Yeah, I guess.
(36:27):
I know.
He didn't look that much younger than them.
No, the age differences weren't very big there.
Yeah, I don't know.
There's a big fucking hole to me, man.
The whole like going to the college to get Jonathan leading into the final battle where
(36:49):
the title of the chairs.
It seems so I feel like something is fucking missing.
There is.
So how the fuck did Jonathan die?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're going to kill Jonathan off screen.
I think I think that we're going to see Jonathan back in the next one.
I don't think he's really dead.
Yeah, it can't be.
(37:11):
That's probably the best take because I thought it was also goofy as shit because they had
what his head in a little cage.
They're like, yeah, this is your daughter's head.
But the turns out it wasn't.
And then they put a pair of glasses on Jonathan's glasses.
And they're like, yeah, I just want.
(37:33):
That's what I think.
I think he's going to be back.
I think it's going to be one of those where he's not really dead.
I mean, I'm all right with killing them, but you got to do it on screen.
I was looking forward to it because he was a pitiful creature and I should put those
down.
All right, you guys want to get into your favorite kill scene favorite?
(37:56):
Oh, I guess.
But I don't want to go first.
Jack, what's your favorite kill scene?
I do not have one.
If I'm being completely honest before that, I want Jack to narrate for us.
I I feel like I watched a different movie than him.
(38:16):
So from your perspective, what happened here and how did it affect you?
So the killer clown that got killed in the movie before got brought back to life as a
fucking demon.
Helping them kill, they go on a killing spree and the girl that is trying to warn everyone
(38:37):
about it is being told, oh, no, it's fine.
You're just crazy.
And in the end, she's not crazy and she gets strong.
So I mean.
It was very gory and the bombing scene was definitely disturbing, but it was cool.
Oh, yeah.
(38:58):
Would you say that was the that was the scene you found most disturbing?
No, the scene that actually found most disturbing was something that we haven't talked about
yet.
And that is when the sister or aunt is tied to the chair and has the tube.
Yeah.
That's the one we lost here.
(39:19):
That's the one you think this is my favorite.
Yeah, me too.
And then even art, the actor who plays are almost there while recording that scene, too.
So I'm justified for kind of hating that scene the most.
So what he's describing is what I believe is going to be Chris and mine's favorite
(39:40):
murder sequence.
Can you explain it to us, Jack, in gritty detail?
Oh, my God.
He doesn't know because his face was into my arm by this point.
Yeah, I did not see it.
I'm telling you, there was like the one part where art was like by the Christmas tree or
(40:02):
something and the girl was running up the stairs and then art was there.
And Jack jumped so hard, like like it was the worst jump scare ever.
And then it was very quickly after that he started hiding his face.
(40:22):
I like it.
I'm sorry we did that to you, Jack.
No, you're good.
I agree to it.
So I regret nothing.
Oh, yeah.
All right, yeah, so the Impost's favorite kill scene, man.
The fucking aunt is tied to a chair and Vicki and Art cram this big old tube down her throat
(40:48):
like, I don't know, pipe, cram it down her throat, pound it in with a mallet.
Yeah, I think PVC but clear.
And then they start putting little rats down in there.
Yeah.
They're not even that little.
Yeah, they're not little.
Yeah, they're big rats.
They're big rats.
They're some chunky boys.
And they fucking hold some fire or some shit next to the pipe so the rats go down to her
(41:13):
throat.
Yeah.
And rats are just going down her throat and burrowing in there.
And then they fucking slit that chick's throat and all the rats fall out.
Yeah.
It's a clever, it's like a clever take on, this is a like a medieval thing where they
would put rats under a pot on a stomach and then like, they did it in the Game of Thrones
(41:44):
books.
I don't think they really showed it on the show, but it was in the books.
Yeah, they call that guy the tickler.
Yeah, something like that.
The rats tickling death.
Yeah, they're involving like too fast too furious had a scene too.
What the fuck really?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what it was.
Dang, I don't know what are they doing in fucking the 10th one?
(42:07):
They put a freaking rat on a guy's stomach and put a pot over it and heated the pot up
and the rat started eating through his stomach.
I thought they just raced in that movie.
I'm pretty sure that's what movie it was.
It was a weird movie.
It was a weird movie for it to happen on.
I swear it was too fast too furious.
(42:27):
You're probably right.
I mean, I can't argue with it.
I must have seen that one because I watched them.
I think I watched the first three because Paul Walker is a divine creature.
To behold, but I couldn't tell you a single thing that happened in any of the ones I saw.
(42:49):
I mean, I Google it and it comes up with a YouTube video that says too fast too furious
rat in a bucket scene.
I didn't doubt you at all.
I just I don't remember a single thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's just, I don't know.
It's such a crazy thing to happen in a racing movie.
Yeah.
It's like the guy from freaking that's what's his name?
(43:11):
I think his name is Bobby and something.
He sounds like anarchy guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So yeah, that's by far my favorite kill scene.
I don't know.
The chainsaw in the ass is good, but I think the rats are a little more creative.
Yeah, it's a little more ominous.
Freaking tin bucket.
(43:31):
Yeah.
What about you Lisa?
What was your favorite kill?
Man, I don't even know.
I know I'm probably forgetting some.
The construction workers were underrated.
When you think you've happened upon a suicide situation in a bathtub and then the bitch
pulls the glass out of her own wrist and fucks your shit off.
(43:55):
That's pretty brutal.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I think that probably my favorite probably was the shower scene.
It was good.
And then he did the little blood angel thing afterwards.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I thought the shower one was good.
I know.
(44:16):
I think a lot of the kills kind of get overshadowed by the shower and the fucking rats.
So much that it's like, it's hard for me to remember any of the other ones.
Great kills, crazy gory.
Suspicious storyline.
Yeah.
Let's get into the storyline and see if maybe we can figure it out.
We can't.
(44:36):
Okay.
I think it.
Yeah.
We're not going to be able to.
Okay.
Well, I'm not going to be able to.
I don't.
Well, we've discussed that Art and Vicky are obviously some sort of demons.
Right.
And you know, Sienna has lived through it and is now having visions and all this that it's
(45:03):
happening again.
Because obviously she's somehow linked to art.
Like Harry Potter always knew when Voldemort was back, you know.
Yeah.
I think it was art.
She's obviously some kind of portal.
Like this is a trope that's happened before where someone has the appropriate bloodline.
(45:26):
And if I inhabit their body, then I can summon, you know, like the horde or whatever they're
trying to do.
And that seems to be like what they're getting at with this last bit is that because she's
trying to like get her to give up so that double bitch can inhabit her instead.
Yeah.
Like I guess Sienna is like the foil to art.
(45:50):
And if a fucking demon possesses Sienna, it's nothing to worry about.
Right.
Yeah.
I guess a foil, the fucking arch nemesis.
It's a word.
I swear it's a fucking word.
I'm not making up words.
Okay.
I don't know if he's making up words.
I just understood what he meant.
Okay.
A foil in a story is a character event or social issue that contrasts with another character
(46:16):
to highlight their traits.
I mean, it works.
Yeah.
I've never heard that used like that before.
Well, you know, I'm kind of like a literary dude.
Yeah.
You're not.
So.
Yeah.
When I think, you know, literary prowess or...
Yeah.
You think foil.
...firm grasp on any language.
(46:38):
Deuterogonist.
He thinks of you.
That's where he's going with that.
He thinks of you when he thinks of those things.
Yeah.
I mean, I...
You think linguistic expertise.
Yeah.
I'm your foil.
Unflappable grammaticisms.
We highlight each other's character traits.
Yeah.
And all that.
(46:58):
We're foils.
Yeah.
Because I'm a big dumb dumb dumb.
Oh, okay.
It's all right.
You know, maybe you hang out.
Keep hanging out with me.
I know.
I'll get to your level one day, pod daddy.
I'll rub off on you a little bit.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Rub you off.
Someone needs to.
My heart is, fuck.
Another...
Okay.
(47:19):
Well, in Twin Peaks, The Return, episode eight, season three.
Can you talk about how much airtime Twin Peaks gets on this podcast?
I know.
You talk about Twin Peaks a lot.
(47:40):
Yeah, we do.
I know.
I'm here for it.
I just thought I'd mention it.
Laura Palmer is born as a direct response to Bob being put into the universe.
Okay.
They come out as little orbs.
Bob's a little black orb.
Laura Palmer's a little gold orb.
They're foils.
(48:05):
What about that fucking weird scene?
I guess it's like a dream that CNN has.
It's like some weird little fucking demon goblin or whatever making the sword, I guess.
There's like Mother Mary or something over here.
That's a painting.
Isn't it?
(48:25):
It's a painting?
What they depicted in that scene is an actual painting.
Oh, shit.
Okay.
Yeah, I can't think of what it's called now, of course.
But yeah, it's like evil being held in check by Piety, which I guess is supposed to be
a metaphor for what this bitch is supposed to be doing.
Yeah.
(48:47):
So I actually thought in a vacuum, that scene itself was very cool, excepting I don't think
it belonged in this movie, maybe.
It was a little odd.
Does that make sense?
It didn't.
Yeah, it was weird.
I don't know.
I knew that he was making the sword.
Yeah.
But yeah, it was so fucking weird.
(49:07):
But then this movie did get way more fantastical than I was anticipating.
Yeah.
Well, and I expected maybe more of that because we saw the second one.
And I felt like it was kind of a lead up, you know?
And then we didn't really get much of it.
I did see the second one, but I think I was really drunk.
(49:30):
And it was like when it came out.
Yeah.
So I just watched it like a couple of weeks ago.
I just feel like there was so much kind of crammed into that little end section that
it was just so fucking weird.
It became convoluted because no...
(49:51):
In my brain, what separates good movies from sort of not is like character development
versus plot development.
And in this last like 20 minutes, we got a fuck ton of plot development and no character
development.
So, you know, we have all these plot points shoved forward, but the characters are still
where we left them.
So yeah.
(50:11):
I mean, I did kind of like a little bit of the kind of dealing with the trauma of seeing
this trauma from the second movie.
I really liked when she's seeing her dead friend at the dinner table.
Pass me the rice.
She was just talking shit the whole time.
Yeah, that was pretty crazy.
(50:32):
Yeah, because that was definitely what her friend was like.
Anyway.
How much to this day do you think this film impacts you, Jack?
Because it was a solid week afterwards that I heard you still mentioning art.
It's going to be a while longer.
So I know this is a thing that people deal with where they watch an intense film and
(50:56):
they like have struggle like sleeping or they don't want the lights off and stuff.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I've never experienced this in my life, though.
So I have a very difficult time treating this seriously.
I'm so sorry for you.
And that I'm your partner.
You're good.
I'm just going to be checking all the dark phases and clauses and stuff before going
(51:21):
to bed.
Mm hmm. Making sure that we're safe.
I don't mean to marry.
You're marrying the danger.
I don't think it's registering for you yet.
We're not safe, and it's because of me.
(51:43):
I will deal with that later when you're dressed up as a clown
with those teeth and those crazy eyes.
So I get closer every day.
Oh, my God, dude.
Both going to get a fucking art costume and just hide in the corner waiting for you to
get home or some shit and just fucking scare the fuck out of you, dude.
(52:06):
It's rare that I'm home and he's not.
So that on the off chance that they are almost like clockwork every time I hear him
coming up the stairs outside and then I hear the key going to the door.
So I go and wait behind the door.
I don't like jump out.
It's scary. Just poke.
It elicits a jump every time.
(52:28):
Yeah. And I feed on that.
Hell, yeah. I thrive.
If you enjoy the terrifying movies,
all the gore, all the blood, all the guts, fucking insane kills,
awesome practical effects, come join us at what the fuck are you watching?
(52:50):
Where we kind of explore the more kind of extreme or indie or underground.
If you want more of super gore, nastiness, I think I would recommend
American Guinea Pig Blood Shock.
That's one of our favorites here at the podcast or the Japanese Guinea Pig
(53:14):
Flower of Flesh and Blood, Tokyo Gore, please.
It's our current number one favorite movie here.
Join the dark side.
Join us as we explore the most fucked up things we can find.
Yeah. And have such a great time doing it.
Oh, yeah. I guess we'll just go around and give a what the fuck moment for this movie.
(53:37):
Lisa, what's your what the fuck moment?
I think my what the fuck moment is Vicky masturbating with that piece of glass.
Oh, yeah. That's pretty fucked up.
The blood was aggressive.
Yeah. I mean, the jabbing was aggressive.
So the blood being aggressive makes sense, but.
(53:58):
Yeah, she's getting with it. Yeah.
I've seen gentler fingerings. Yeah.
Yeah, that show was uncalled for.
Yeah.
I really did like this movie, though.
Like I I liked it a lot.
I know we're probably not adding it to our leaderboard or anything,
(54:20):
but it would be my favorite movie if we were.
I know. Yeah, I'm right there with you.
All right, Jack, what's your what the fuck moment?
Well, I probably have to be there at the beginning in the mental ward.
Where's the Vicky?
Yeah, Vicky.
Or she's just sitting there screaming, cuddling his head.
(54:41):
He made me do it.
Uh huh.
That was the fuck.
That was probably my what the fuck?
Yeah. Yeah.
That head was looking fucking gross and it had this big ol.
I don't know.
Was it an umbilical cord or something, dude?
I thought it was a spinal column.
Yeah, it was huge.
(55:02):
Whatever it was.
Oh, what the fuck? Yeah, that was crazy.
Yeah, it was at least eight inches.
Yeah, that's a good one.
I kind of forgot about that.
All right, well, it's your what the fuck moment.
I think we got to go with
that having no wrist bones
(55:22):
and clutching a sword, trying to pull your friend to safety.
Yeah, that sort of I I couldn't deal with that one very well at all.
Yeah.
That whole scene was sort of what the fuck, but I'll go with that.
Yeah, she hit the fucking sword underneath the tree as a present to,
(55:43):
I guess, herself.
I don't know.
That's kind of weird.
But, uh, so this is that's a part where you get so contrived
because she's like, I know I'm not crazy.
I get that if they had left the character develop more,
it would have played out better where she's like trying to decide
if she's crazy or not.
Yeah, because I relate to that.
Sometimes I'm like not so sure about myself.
(56:06):
So I get that.
I guess it's not a like a super important moment, but she's like,
you know, I got to go get the sword from the carnival, the terrify ride
and we never see it.
And so I don't know.
I think a big moment because at this point, she doesn't completely know
if art is real or not.
(56:26):
She doesn't know if she's hallucinating, blah, blah, blah.
So I don't know.
I think seeing her going to get the sword and yeah, I think that would have been
impactful.
That definitely could have been included.
I wonder if it was.
I wonder if they just I wonder if they shot something like that
and didn't like it or something or if they just didn't feel it necessary.
Yeah, I guess.
(56:48):
Yeah, because the only thing we got was when she got back to the house
after she was talking about she had to go get it.
And the hands were all dirty.
You know, yeah.
Like that was it. That was the only thing showing us that she had dug it up.
And then I think Jonathan said something to her about did she get it?
And she was like, yeah.
Yeah.
But I guess, you know, if you had to cut something, I guess that would be
(57:09):
something to cut.
I'm I'm hearing like they had to cut a lot like he had.
Damien Leone, the director, had a much longer movie.
It is a fucking he's not a bad looking dude.
I'm not a bad looking dude.
I think I think he's hot. But anyway.
(57:29):
But he had a much longer movie.
I think he had to cut a lot.
And I really think it shows.
Well, because it was already over two hours long.
Yeah.
And I think it's, you know, just a product of trying to add
a story to as much story as he could.
A gore movie like you can't cut any gore out because at its heart,
(57:51):
that's what it is.
And I think he's just trying to add something to it.
And I think he's just trying to add story to give it a little bit of credibility.
Maybe we've mentioned this on here before that sometimes
it almost affects the impactfulness of the thing when they add just a
a story for a story's sake is not always a beneficial thing.
(58:15):
And I think I think some parts of that
were present here.
Yeah, because I like I do love Sienna.
And I like that we got her in Terrifier 2.
But at the same time, I think Terrifier 1 is my favorite
just for the simplicity and the kind of style of it.
I agree. I really like this movie.
(58:35):
It's definitely well where this podcast is concerned.
It's definitely my favorite thing we've watched.
But I also like Terrifier 1 better.
What about you, Chris?
What's your what the fuck moment?
Yeah, thankfully you guys didn't take it, but it's the fucking rats in the throat.
I think it would be someone's.
Yeah, that shit was crazy, man.
(58:57):
Yeah. All those live rats pouring out of that lady's throat.
Yeah. Well, it's satisfying.
That was going to be yours.
Yeah, I figured it's good when
they can actually like keep climaxing the displays of violence.
Yeah, I think they did that really well.
Yeah, definitely.
I know, man, they're just going to have to keep stepping it up.
(59:19):
Every single movie eventually
because you're going to plateau at some point, right?
Well, that's why they all beer fantastic.
It's like I have the same issue.
I don't like I'm kind of over Jason and stuff like he's
some sort of like supernatural deity.
Yeah. Now, and that I'm just, you know, it loses some of the edge for me.
It's at least scarier to me when it's like some dude who lives next door.
(59:43):
Yeah.
Who is just fucking psycho.
Yeah, that's scarier to me. Yeah.
Which is why August Underground.
Exactly. Is the most disturbing movie we've watched for me.
I agree.
Yeah, I mean, I haven't I haven't fucked with the slasher
movies in so long just because they're kind of boring and predictable.
(01:00:07):
Yeah, it's always about virginity.
Yeah, have sex. You're going to fucking die.
Mm hmm. Yeah, this is all just one long con like owed to mean girls.
I swear to God. Yeah.
Yeah. Sex. Get pregnant. You die.
I didn't think I would like a slasher movie as much as I like this one.
(01:00:27):
All right, at least we're going to do our patented.
What the fuck are you watching?
Spicy on a scale where we compare.
The extremity of the movie
to the extremity of spicy food.
Yeah. I don't like going first.
Oh, just the way it goes, man, it's the flow.
(01:00:49):
I'm going to say this is
I think I've used something similar before, but whatever.
Yeah, we're just for second with everything at this point.
This is like a volcano taco.
With hot Cheetos added.
And fire sauce.
Oh, yeah. OK. Yeah. OK.
Oh, yeah. Spicy.
(01:01:10):
I don't like that.
All right, Jack, what spicy food would you
equate this movie to?
Now, you want to talk suspicious palates.
What flavor of Kool-Aid was this?
What?
I cannot compare it to Kool-Aid, but spicy I can do.
(01:01:35):
And I'm going to have to go with the noodles that Bo and I get from the.
From the Asian marketplace.
It's pretty spicy.
It's sometimes so hot that I have to put it down for a bit.
Yeah. But they're ultimately pretty good.
Yeah. Hell, yeah.
I think it's going to be a little bit spicy.
(01:01:57):
Good. Yeah. Hell, yeah.
Dude, we got a pretty fucking sick porn to watch tonight.
Jack, if you want to join us.
No, I'm good.
Just thought I'd offer. I'm good.
Thank you. It's probably very bloody and involves puke.
And I don't know.
I really don't know.
I'm sure it's bloody. I don't know about puke yet.
(01:02:19):
I don't think there's puke in it.
Bo, how spicy is terrifier three?
It's like jalapeno cornbread.
But you took a bite thinking it was banana bread.
OK. So like, it's actually really just good.
But you thought it was something else.
It was a surprise. Yeah. Yeah.
How about you, Chris?
(01:02:40):
How spicy was this movie?
OK, I'm going to go with.
The fruit gushers.
But the filling is like a ghost pepper hot sauce.
OK, you burst that motherfucker open in your mouth, gushes you
like a chainsaw to the asshole.
(01:03:02):
Which, you know, if you've got a gummy full of liquefied ghost pepper,
you could argue.
That it's going to feel like a chainsaw in your asshole at some point.
One way or another, you're fucking getting a chainsaw to your ass.
You're fucking getting a chainsaw to the ass.
(01:03:22):
It's going to be red.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I think that's going to do it for our bonus episode
of What the Fuck Are You Watching? Yeah.
If you like the Terrifier series, come see what else we have to offer.
We got gore. We got puke and piss
and a rumored Nazi sex wizard just waiting for you.
(01:03:46):
Here at What the Fuck Are You Watching? Say bye, bitch.
Bye, bitch. Bye, bitch.
These idiots forgot to rate the movie.
I've gathered their scores and it averages to four stars.
(01:04:07):
Jack later went on to watch the murder porno.
He said, oh, fuck, and we never heard from him again.
I was cleaning out the attic of the What the Fuck Are You Watching studio and stumbled upon this episode, masturbating with a shard of glass. 2 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,000 Who knows how long it's been here?
(00:13):
It's your problem now.
You will be given a test to determine your ability to withstand shock.
Well, look who's here.
This is the night when fear and horror walk hand in hand.
Do you feel up to it?
The most terrifying form of evil is that which lurks within the human mind.
(00:39):
Rated X.
Welcome to What the Fuck Are You Watching?
We're a weekly movie podcast discovering the bizarre, the disturbing, the extreme, and everything in between.
Most of the time for the first time.
Before we started this podcast, I had only ever seen The Land Before Time.
(01:07):
It's right on that.
Yeah.
So this has been an eye-opening experience for me.
I'm your host, Chris.
This is my final girl, Lisa.
Hello.
We're also joined by, it's Bo.
(01:30):
That's me.
Oh my God.
And we got a special treat for you today.
Folks.
I'm trying not to use gendered language anymore.
Folks.
Jack likes it when you use terms like sport and pal and buddy.
What if we start saying kids?
(01:52):
Hey kids.
I hate that one by the way.
I mean, you know, we make a lot of pedophile jokes.
Yeah, but I don't want to talk to them.
That's not what they're here for.
Anyway, we interrupted you.
Very, very special guest to me.
It's Jack.
(02:13):
You've heard about him for so long.
He's here.
It's Jack.
Yes, it is.
I am here.
Thank you for having me.
Thanks for joining us, dude.
I know.
We're excited you're here, Jack.
Oh, I'm nervous, but excited too.
I got a little bonus episode for you today.
(02:35):
We are going to cover Terrifier 3.
We got to watch it in theaters and we thought we'd do a little episode on it.
Little bonus episode.
Talk about our thoughts and our feelings.
I'm going to say right off the top.
(02:56):
Probably going to spoil literally everything.
Yeah.
Or nothing because it was two weeks ago and none of us paid that much attention apparently.
That is also correct.
So just, we might not spoil anything, but just go into it thinking we're going to spoil everything.
Yeah, because we are not going to be careful with our words.
(03:18):
Sorry.
In more ways than one.
Which will differ from past iterations of this episodic journey we're on because we're typically so careful and calculated and considerate.
Yeah.
Terrifier 3.
First of all, I'm a little disappointed that nobody in our theater threw up or passed out.
(03:41):
There was barely anyone in our theater.
Oh, it's funny that there was like 14 people there and we were what, eight of them?
Yeah, that's true.
Or seven.
Seven, yeah.
Yeah, we were probably half of the audience.
We were.
They weren't even going to start the movie for us.
(04:02):
Yeah, they forgot we were even there.
Like, I don't know.
There was only one other movie playing and it's just not a big theater.
So you're just not going to play 50% of the movies playing at that time.
Two buttons is a lot.
This was a calculated attack.
This was like a formal, like silent protest and they didn't want to play the movie for us.
(04:25):
Yeah, they saw a bunch of fags and kids going into that fucking showroom.
I don't know about that.
I'm just not going to play anything and see how long they sit in the fucking theater.
It was a social experiment.
Yeah.
Oh my God, it was so crazy.
It would have kept going too.
Like I had to go in, I had to go find them and say, turn the movie on.
(04:49):
Yeah.
Well, I guess we'll just kind of go to our just kind of general thoughts of the movie.
I thought the movie was awesome.
I really liked it.
It's fucking Gore City.
We watched a guy gets a chainsaw shoved in his ass.
Yeah.
And ripped all the way up his back.
And then the dude gets flipped over and you just see his cockatiel balls just get shredded by that chainsaw man.
(05:16):
And it's just going up, cutting him from Lynn.
Look at intestines everywhere.
And then in the blood pool, Arthur Clowns just makes a little blood angel snow angel type thing.
It was a beautiful scene.
This is music playing in the background.
(05:39):
Beautiful scene.
This movie sets the stage really well from the beginning, though.
It's very like a Hallmark Christmas movie.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, the beginning.
Yes.
Yeah.
(06:00):
When Jack was younger and naive and thought he could survive this movie going experience.
Yeah.
He told us he told us about the opening scene.
He was like, yeah, I heard the opening scenes bad.
And I thought, I don't know, because they compare it to where we end up.
(06:21):
Yeah. On the tamer side, that opening.
I don't even know if I really remember it that well, to be honest.
Oh, it's a lot of it's more like psychological damage and gratuitous score at first because it's the little girl.
Well, it's the bitch wife.
Yeah.
Yeah. To the husband. Relatable.
You know, just the happy happy.
(06:42):
Yeah. Yeah.
That's what us bitch wives do.
Yeah. You guys just don't know.
You know.
Yeah.
She's the she's.
She the daughter hears something on the roof.
She says something on the roof.
She comes into the bedroom to call attention to it, to the parents.
(07:04):
Yeah.
The bitch wife goes and assures the girl.
This is where the plot lost all plausibility for me because she to a slay the girl and convince her and bribe her to go back to sleep.
She says, well, if you go to sleep, I'll leave out some milk and cookies for.
Santa's elves who are here checking to make sure we have enough roof space to accommodate his load.
(07:29):
Important.
Hell, yeah. But this is where we lose our regulation reality because then the little girl goes to bed and the mom actually pulls out some fucking milk and cookies.
Are you parents of children telling me that if that lie worked on your child, you would actually then produce the milk and cookies?
(07:54):
Oh, yeah, because she's going to call you on it that later that morning, you're going to have to deal with more bullshit early in the morning.
Maybe I don't know. I can't relate because we never did the Santa bullshit with our kids.
Well, that's a wild thing in and of itself, right? Yeah.
Like my kids have always known there's no Santa.
We told him the cold, hard truth.
I can tell by his facial expression that Jack does not relate with.
(08:17):
I know Jack's like, oh, wow, what the fuck?
Right. Yeah, no. Sorry, man.
But hey, to each their own.
Are you a hearty Santa Claus believer?
I already know the answer to this in my soul.
Well, I kind of figured it out when I was six, when I caught my parents bringing stuff in.
So the magic was there. Not for long.
(08:39):
Right. Yeah. Yes.
Where were you at on that? Where were you at on that? Tooth fairy.
Bullshit. The entire thing.
OK. But yeah, I digress.
Yapping life notices that the door is now unlocked and she attributes this to her
husband having forgotten to lock the door again.
(09:00):
So she goes back upstairs for yappy, happy happen time.
Yeah. And she even tells him to make sure he eats the cookies.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That little girl hears more noises.
So she's on the she's an investigator.
He's going to be Jones. She's Cindy Lou who?
But with a more human nose and way less hairspray.
(09:28):
I'm pretty sure that fucking the actor, David Howard Thornton, I think he was the Grinch.
Not the Jim Carrey Grinch, but obviously.
Yeah.
He wasn't Jim Carrey.
He was playing.
Grinch.
I don't even know who he's saying.
(09:50):
Art the clown.
Yeah, yeah.
Art the clown.
Yeah.
He was the Grinch.
I mean, that man really was great at this.
Oh yeah.
He fucking kills it.
Yeah.
So Art the Clown is a meme.
Yeah.
I love art.
Which is a great place to start from.
Yeah.
I think this dude's got like actual mime work too.
(10:14):
Is that a difficult skill set you think?
Uh, diff.
Oh shit, I don't know.
I think I could pull off Mimory.
Well you know, hopefully since Terrifier 3 is blowing up, he will go on to some bigger
parts.
Yeah.
(10:34):
Cause he's very good.
Oh yeah.
I liked.
Have we heard him speak though?
What if that's a fucking...
What if his voice is a shit show?
What if he sounds like me?
Uh, he doesn't sound as gay.
He sounds a little bit gay.
Yeah.
If you don't come from theater and start playing the mime.
Yeah, right.
(10:55):
I'm sucking a couple cocks.
Okay, so he made a movie called The Mean One where he played a Grinch character.
It's like a horror movie.
Okay.
Well, little girl goes on the prowl and then she finds Santa Claus standing with his back
(11:16):
turned towards her, towards the Christmas tree, as well as his sack full of goods.
And he then starts producing the sack full of goods.
Namely like a fireman's hatchet act situation.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He has a bunch of weapons in there.
(11:38):
And then he like goes upstairs to the little boy's room, doesn't he?
Yeah, he goes to the little girl's brother's room first.
And she, instead of, you know, trying it all to save the life of that poor boy, just sort
of stood there and watched and listened as Arthur...
(11:59):
It's implied through sound that he hatchets the boy pretty good.
There's some loud noises too, man.
Yeah.
And he slashes and slashes and crunches.
Yeah.
It's those exaggerated sound effects that we love so much.
(12:20):
It's pretty brutal, man.
You didn't even see anything, but you felt it.
Yeah.
I guess we do jump straight to Gori pretty much immediately afterwards though, because
he goes to the parents' room next and starts with the husband.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then she's like, what's going on?
(12:41):
You know?
Yeah.
Somehow not.
This is what would happen.
Someone could come hatchet Jack to sleep right next to death right next to me and I would
wake up sort of similarly.
Did you chill the fuck out?
Did you fucking piss yourself?
Why are you wet?
No, he got like eight solid swings in on the husband before she even actually kind of started
(13:02):
to wake up.
It's just like, okay, what?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Yeah.
How about that one?
Yeah.
And she just, yeah, I don't even, I think she did say something along the lines of like,
can you calm down or what are you doing?
Or.
And then she's like.
Yeah, she's in the irritation at some point.
And then she's like trying to like push him, you know, and.
(13:25):
I told you to.
Wack off in the bathroom.
Damn it.
I think she actually like feels the huge puddle and she's just like, how would you know, he's
obviously a bed wetter because she doesn't seem that the puddle.
Yeah.
Then the hue of it seemed to trigger something for her though.
(13:45):
Yeah, I get that.
Yeah.
Yeah, dude.
You wake up in puddles pretty often.
Yeah, all the time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, you know, I'm working on it.
She started making me sleep in a trash bag.
Oh, yeah.
Oh my God.
That intro was pretty wild.
(14:07):
Holly jelly Christmas.
It was.
Yeah.
And then, you know, we just see where the second movie left off.
I liked how they started where the second movie left off with Chris Jericho.
Oh yeah.
I thought the what's her name?
I think Victoria or Vicki or something like that.
(14:28):
Yeah.
Girl with the crazy face.
Yeah.
I thought she did a pretty good job.
She's fucking wild, man.
The devil, the devil bitch.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I liked her.
Yeah.
So she was the victim from the first movie.
Got her face chewed off by Art the Clown.
I made out with a guy like that once.
(14:50):
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah, someone who like gets there like almost like a running start and like mouth agape.
Yeah.
Like like like even Tyler, you know, they just want to drool.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(15:11):
She's really cool, man.
Art the Clown fucking kills it in this movie.
I think he's getting like he's kind of hamming it up a little bit more in this one.
Which were my favorite parts from the first two.
So I loved it.
Yeah.
Well, I thought that's why Chris's friend Jack here was going to make it because I thought
(15:31):
that there would be enough comedic relief from our friend Art that it could sustain
him somehow.
Yeah, no, no.
Sorry.
At some point in that movie, he stops being funny.
I mean, he stays pretty.
He stays pretty goofy.
Oh, no, you're right.
Yeah.
My favorite was at the very end when Sienna's like tie that chair.
(15:56):
Anytime he walks past her, he starts to sweat in the back of the head.
I love that too.
Yeah.
Now, my favorite starts in that very first scene.
The wife's like Rod Curly screaming now that she's noticed her husband being butchered
and Art just starts pantomiming the like screaming.
(16:17):
Oh, yeah.
Everything he does is hilarious to me.
Yeah, for sure.
Me too.
Do you guys think he's like unstable slasher status up there with like Freddie and Jason
all that?
Most definitely.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think so.
I think it depends on where the franchise ends up, right?
(16:41):
Because these it's not I think he's qualified.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He doesn't have the same.
I guess you got to build up the legacy or something.
Yeah.
He doesn't have the prestige of them yet.
He's working up bodies and he's doing it in style.
Yeah, for sure, dude.
You never know what he's going to pull out of that bag.
(17:02):
Yeah, I know.
Sometimes it's a fucking pistol, dude.
I know.
That's my favorite part because it's like a slasher movie.
Like he's just cutting people up and then out of nowhere, he'll just pull out a gun
and shoot.
Yeah.
Never expect the fucking gun, dude.
You never expect it.
Yeah.
And I'm sure some people don't like that because, yeah, your usual slasher has like their weapon,
(17:25):
a machete or fucking butcher knife or something.
Art uses whatever the fuck he wants, dude.
Sometimes it's a nine millimeter.
I also like how in every movie he always goes to like his little crafting station and crafts
a new fucking wild weapon that he ends up using later in the movie.
(17:47):
I think another one of my favorite parts, funny parts was the bar scene.
That was probably my favorite part.
I liked this a lot too.
I like hanging out with strangers and then pissing on them or like just pissing on the
(18:09):
floor.
Yeah.
That's great.
I can't think of a single situation that that doesn't bring the mood up.
Oh yeah.
That is great, man.
And I guess that's where he gets his Santa Claus outfit because he meets a Santa Claus,
a mall Santa, I guess you'd say.
(18:32):
He lets him sort of, he sits like on his lap on that bar still for a second, doesn't he?
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
And mall Santa's drunk and then he's like, all right boys.
They're having a good time.
I'm wearing the suit.
So I'm saying I'm all let him do Santa stuff.
Yeah.
Well, Santa's like a good guy, right?
(18:52):
He can tell this guy's fucking off kilter.
Yeah.
Yeah, dude.
Santa was a fucking real one, man.
Yeah.
He was just like, okay.
He wasn't even Superman about getting peed on.
Yeah.
I mean, he kept calling him clowning.
Come on clowning, let's get out of here.
Let's get out of here clowning.
(19:12):
I was really disappointed when Art killed that guy, man.
Yeah.
It was a pretty brutal way too.
Yeah.
Liquid nitrogen, fucking fire extinguisher.
Yeah, dude.
Art basically builds like a freeze ray or some shit, turns him into a snowman.
(19:34):
Breaks his arms and shit.
Yeah.
And then his arms, his shins, and his face.
Yeah.
The shins going really hurt me.
I don't know if it brought me back to soccer days or what, but I.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I didn't like that.
(19:57):
Fucking rip Santa Claus beard off.
Well, yeah, because he was pulling on his beard at first, you know, and he was like,
oh, it's real.
Yeah.
That's how you know I'm the real Santa.
I have a real beard.
I think Art killed him out of a sense of justice.
He's like, well, you lied.
You're not the real fucking Santa.
Yeah.
(20:18):
Well, and Art had to take the beard so he could be the real Santa.
Yeah.
And the whole rest of the movie is wearing this bloody old nasty beard, dude.
It was crazy.
Yeah.
A solid runner up is near the end, I guess, where he's finally got his.
Santa Claus.
(20:39):
We've shown how he arrived at the Santa Claus costume and he's at the mall.
Oh, yeah.
And they have a they have a corral set up with children.
I call them Lane Bryant moms.
They all have the little yoga pants and puffy vests on.
They all have the same costume.
(21:00):
But I've seen this in real life, so it's real.
This is what they look like.
And it goes on a break and Art
Seizes the opportunity to fill in for mall Santa and he's giving actual gifts to the
children who come and sit on his lap.
Yeah, he just wants to be Santa.
Yeah, dude, those kids are loving it, too, man.
(21:22):
Yeah.
So one gets a fucking bomb.
Yeah, one gets a bomb.
Well, no.
Well, so the parents finally start to catch on.
Or like one of the arrows gets something like that's not fucking Santa.
That dude smells bad and is also a different person.
My makeup line took them way too long to figure out that was not Santa Claus.
(21:49):
Oh, yeah.
Well, you know, how stoned are you?
And you didn't have to go anywhere today, Jack.
Say what?
Said how?
Well, I was going to make a comparison.
I was like, how stoned do you have to be to be a fucking mall elf?
Oh, you got to be pretty fucking baked.
Yeah.
Oh, I see.
I mean, it's doable and you can enjoy it, but you got to be pretty, pretty high up there.
(22:13):
Because I might just I might just let it play out if I'm one of them all else.
I'm like, well, let's see what this guy's got in store.
I don't know.
I don't care.
You know.
Yeah.
Fuck them kids.
And I don't think art gave the kid the bomb.
I think that was the kid pulled it out of the bag.
(22:34):
Yeah, because art's already been like ran off by now.
Oh, really?
And it's left there.
And one of the kids is like, well, who's my presence?
So he's looking through what's left and he finds that one, which, you know, if he wouldn't
have dug through somebody else's bag, he wouldn't have got a fucking bomb.
Mind your business.
Yeah.
Teach your kids to fucking not be assholes.
(22:57):
I was not expecting a bomb.
I really thought it's going to be like, I don't know, a dead cat or something.
Or I don't know, somebody's face bomb.
I was I was kind of expecting all the presence to be a bomb, to be honest, but not that big
of a explosion.
All of us are little ones.
Yeah, dude.
Just blowing up each individual kid.
(23:19):
That would have been hilarious.
It's like a line of kids blowing up as they open their presents.
Yeah, yeah.
Pretty much.
I guess it would have been a little on that, like because this whole thing was a little
bit it felt like the Joker, like it like the animated Joker.
(23:41):
Yeah, it was especially this whole bit.
I expected like, you know, like Jack in the Box type stuff, because those are scary anyway.
So that would have been cool.
Oh, another fucking wild scene was tell me what the fuck happened here, because Art gets
(24:02):
his new head, right?
And him and Vicky are I don't know, they find a little house to settle down in for a while.
They almost go into like a hibernation.
Art sits in a rocking chair, which is an homage to Black Christmas.
Vicky fucking I don't know, she's not happy that her face is all fucked up and she slips
(24:23):
her wrists and chills in a bathtub.
And they sit there for five years until a demolition crew goes in to clear the house,
probably looking for squatters or something.
Probably have to do that.
Yeah.
Unfortunately, they stumble upon Art and fucking icky Vicky and chaos ensues.
(24:44):
Who do you want to follow, like do you want to happen upon Vicky or Art?
Which one do you want to be?
You got to be one of them.
I think I'm going to be one of them.
If you're going to happen upon one of them in a house, which one do you think you can
take?
I think I'll take, I think I guess I'll try to take Vicky.
(25:07):
I don't know.
Art's got a bag full of guns and shit.
Yeah, that's true.
But that's also hilarious.
Yeah.
Vicky is a fucking wild animal though.
So she's got that, she's got that dog in her.
Yeah.
I'd go with Art because I'm going to die either way.
You're fucked.
(25:27):
Yeah.
It's fucking hilarious.
He's at least cool to hang out with.
Yeah.
I'll just laugh the whole time he's killing me.
Yeah.
All Vicky can do is suck your dick and it won't even survive.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
I don't know.
What are you going to get from Art, man?
It could be a quick death.
You could peel your fucking face off.
Yeah.
(25:48):
He might just honk his little horn at you.
Yeah.
Piss on your lap.
Yeah.
Listen, I'm all into that.
But yeah, those, the demolition crew, they get the worst of it.
And Art's like peeling one's fucking face off basically, I think with like maybe a box
(26:08):
knife or something.
Yeah.
And Vicky's off in the doorway, pleasuring herself with a broken piece of mirror.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She's going to war.
Yeah, that was rough.
Oh, it's brutal.
And then when Art is done killing that guy, he like shakes his finger at her like this.
(26:32):
Yeah.
Bad girl.
Yeah.
Maybe that's her.
Like she misses being a young, a young lady in her prime.
She's like, I need my monthly blood.
Yeah.
I don't know what the fuck's going on with Vicky.
I don't know.
She's like, I also don't know what to tell you about their hibernation.
(26:54):
I will say where this movie is typical of the genre, though.
It's a lot suspicious, so I don't know what to tell you.
I guess they just needed a break.
You know, everyone gets burnt out.
Maybe they just needed a little breather.
I mean, Art did get decapitated.
Yeah, he's probably tired.
(27:16):
Yeah.
He had a girl, a whole new head, like inside of Vicky's womb, I'm assuming.
That was the most cartoonish scene.
Yeah.
I was I was very confused by that.
Like I was not understanding what all was going on, but I figured it was probably something
from the previous movie that I missed.
(27:39):
So yeah, that's a continuation of it.
But it was it was still cartoonish.
Yeah.
Well, in Terrifier 2, Art gets decapitated by Sienna with her magic power sword.
Yeah.
That's the end of the movie.
OK.
So she out of nowhere just births.
(28:01):
She's locked in a mental hospital and Art's been decapitated.
And then all of a sudden she's giving birth to his head.
So she's like holding the head like a baby.
It's just Art's fucking nasty looking head.
Yeah, it doesn't make any sense, but whatever.
It's horror movie logic, I guess.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's fine.
I know these are like hell spawn creatures.
(28:21):
I don't you know, I don't.
Yeah, that's why it gets kind of weird, because I mean, the first movie you kind of almost
assumed Art was like human because you even seen a paint his face.
Yeah, I don't know if this was a this is like a deal with the devil thing.
I don't know how we ended up where we did.
(28:43):
But maybe shit changed now that he got decapitated.
I don't know the story behind an art.
I don't think anybody does.
I don't even think maybe with her dying breath, Becky, like made a deal with Lilith or something
and was like, I'll be here.
Yeah, she's 100 percent demon, right?
Yeah, that's the fucking that's that's a devil bitch.
I think she was even trying to like, is this kind of like open a gate to hell or something?
(29:09):
Or she does.
I don't know.
Yeah.
And I don't I don't even know what Art's role is in this whole little thing.
No, I guess our final girl, Sienna and Art are.
They are linked in some way, destined to duel it out like Batman and the Joker.
This was supposed to be five years after Terrifier 2 then.
Yeah.
You said they hibernated for five years.
(29:31):
Yeah.
OK.
Well, they I think they said so on the on a screen.
Yeah, I was like, yeah, because Sienna has spent the last five years in a mentalist place,
not an asylum, but like a rehab place, I guess.
I'm telling you, they got better shampoo in that rehab than I got.
(29:53):
Because she comes out fucking full, you know, 18 inch yaki bundles of voluptuous locks.
Oh, my gosh.
Yeah.
So what do we think of like Sienna as a final girl, almost like the Sidney Prescott's of
Scream or the Laurie Strauss of Halloween?
(30:16):
Do you think she's?
I liked her.
Oh, yeah.
I think she does that.
Like I'm seeing visions over there, but pretty convincingly.
Oh, yeah.
That was pretty cool scene, too.
Because then she's she's good at snapping back into it and being like, all right, we
all know that was weird.
I'm going to go fuck off now.
Yeah.
The brother, though.
(30:40):
Get a grip, my guy.
This little twink.
I don't know about her.
That's why I was like, it's supposed to be five years later, because I don't feel like
he's grown up five years in that time.
Well, he's purportedly in college.
It doesn't he's not aided by the fact that that's what he fucking looks like, dude.
That's a fucking 11 year old boy.
(31:01):
I know.
I see him on Instagram and stuff.
And like, he just looks terrified all the time.
Which you know, like this permanent face like.
That's how we got the ropes.
They're like, well, that's what we need.
We need a fucked up kid here.
That kids obviously seen some shit.
(31:24):
But yeah, I think I do like Sienna as a final girl type character.
I really liked how they're kind of going like a weird fantasy direction.
They kind of did it more in in two, where she's almost like this Valkyrie warrior angel
girl.
Yeah, but I thought I was dissatisfied by like they kept leaning into that.
(31:46):
But then they I don't know.
She didn't really do shit in this movie.
That last little battle sequence was so farcical that I I know I was dissatisfied by that bit.
And it's it kind of took almost like a I don't know, maybe like an anime or a Power Rangers
sort of thing where it's like.
(32:07):
It absolutely did.
I've got this fucking gets her only sword and I'm the fucking chosen one.
Yeah, she gets her ass whoops the whole fucking movie until the very last second when she
gets the fucking sword in her hand and now everybody's fucked.
Hopefully we don't rinse and repeat that for the next fucking hundred movies.
Yeah, we're going to I think though.
(32:29):
Probably.
Because the next one's surely what the the the mission to go save her little niece or
whatever.
It's got to be.
They've got to go to hell to save them.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And get the sword because it fell down there, too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(32:50):
I know, man.
Is that that whole bit, too?
They're like, she's dangling off the edge.
Let me hold on to this fucking blade.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
They try to pull you up.
Yeah, there's there's like pillows and curtains and shit right next to you.
Mm hmm.
Well, I think she's a sword.
I think she knew the power of the sword.
(33:11):
She can never be cut by the sword.
I mean, she definitely got cut by the sword, but it healed up.
But I want devil bitch break every bone in her wrists right before this.
So I don't.
Yeah, you know, you don't have grip strength anyway.
Don't use what you got on the fucking sharpest ordained holy sword at her disposal.
Her hands are all fucked up.
(33:32):
And then, well, yeah, because at first she's like, she can hold the blade just fine and
try to pull the girl up.
It's got the healing.
And the heartbeat, she goes from cerebral palsy to fucking Valkyrie.
Yeah, it's a little wild.
Which I guess, yeah, typical horror movie.
I couldn't see any of this at this point.
Oh, yeah, this is when he had his face buried.
(33:54):
This is when you assumed the sort of what would you call that position?
Sideways fetal.
Yeah, I guess.
Anything to not be involved with the whatsoever.
Yeah, walking out.
Yeah, I'm glad you didn't walk out on us.
(34:14):
I wonder if he wants to use the restroom at a sort of pinnacle part.
I know.
I thought I was.
I wonder if he's returning.
Motherfucker.
I have to go fish him out of the parking lot.
I don't know.
I went to I mean, I didn't use the restroom, but I also wanted to hit my pen a couple of
times and hit the vape.
Yeah, because in the in the lead up to us watching the movie, I would always see people
(34:38):
talking like, oh, that shower scene, that shower scene.
And then Jack goes to the bathroom and then I see the fucking shower and I'm like that
motherfucker.
I know he knew about it.
And also the only smut.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What are your thoughts on CNN?
(35:01):
I liked her.
You know, we watched all three recently, so we saw her for the second one to this one.
And I've liked it.
And I do compare her a lot to Sydney from Scream.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think she has that same kind of final girl vibe.
(35:22):
Yeah.
I think that actress is good.
I think a bit of her is probably more attributed to the writers.
She had some goofy bits.
Yeah.
I don't really know if that's on her.
Yeah, I agree.
What do we think about the.
What is this, her sister and her sister's husband?
(35:45):
I think it's her aunt.
Yeah, but I'm so confused by this.
Me too, because I thought sister is if that's her if that's her aunt's daughter.
That's just your cousin.
That's her cousin.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I was confused by this for the whole film.
I couldn't really decide what the relationships were here.
(36:07):
I swear it was.
She kept saying on it.
Well, the old guy kept calling her her niece or her his niece or whatever.
Yeah.
Old guy.
Older guy.
None of these people were old.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The old guy that was probably like my age.
He's hot.
I mean, he was supposed to be the uncle.
Yeah, I guess.
(36:27):
I know.
He didn't look that much younger than them.
No, the age differences weren't very big there.
Yeah, I don't know.
There's a big fucking hole to me, man.
The whole like going to the college to get Jonathan leading into the final battle where
(36:49):
the title of the chairs.
It seems so I feel like something is fucking missing.
There is.
So how the fuck did Jonathan die?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're going to kill Jonathan off screen.
I think I think that we're going to see Jonathan back in the next one.
I don't think he's really dead.
Yeah, it can't be.
(37:11):
That's probably the best take because I thought it was also goofy as shit because they had
what his head in a little cage.
They're like, yeah, this is your daughter's head.
But the turns out it wasn't.
And then they put a pair of glasses on Jonathan's glasses.
And they're like, yeah, I just want.
(37:33):
That's what I think.
I think he's going to be back.
I think it's going to be one of those where he's not really dead.
I mean, I'm all right with killing them, but you got to do it on screen.
I was looking forward to it because he was a pitiful creature and I should put those
down.
All right, you guys want to get into your favorite kill scene favorite?
(37:56):
Oh, I guess.
But I don't want to go first.
Jack, what's your favorite kill scene?
I do not have one.
If I'm being completely honest before that, I want Jack to narrate for us.
I I feel like I watched a different movie than him.
(38:16):
So from your perspective, what happened here and how did it affect you?
So the killer clown that got killed in the movie before got brought back to life as a
fucking demon.
Helping them kill, they go on a killing spree and the girl that is trying to warn everyone
(38:37):
about it is being told, oh, no, it's fine.
You're just crazy.
And in the end, she's not crazy and she gets strong.
So I mean.
It was very gory and the bombing scene was definitely disturbing, but it was cool.
Oh, yeah.
(38:58):
Would you say that was the that was the scene you found most disturbing?
No, the scene that actually found most disturbing was something that we haven't talked about
yet.
And that is when the sister or aunt is tied to the chair and has the tube.
Yeah.
That's the one we lost here.
(39:19):
That's the one you think this is my favorite.
Yeah, me too.
And then even art, the actor who plays are almost there while recording that scene, too.
So I'm justified for kind of hating that scene the most.
So what he's describing is what I believe is going to be Chris and mine's favorite
(39:40):
murder sequence.
Can you explain it to us, Jack, in gritty detail?
Oh, my God.
He doesn't know because his face was into my arm by this point.
Yeah, I did not see it.
I'm telling you, there was like the one part where art was like by the Christmas tree or
(40:02):
something and the girl was running up the stairs and then art was there.
And Jack jumped so hard, like like it was the worst jump scare ever.
And then it was very quickly after that he started hiding his face.
(40:22):
I like it.
I'm sorry we did that to you, Jack.
No, you're good.
I agree to it.
So I regret nothing.
Oh, yeah.
All right, yeah, so the Impost's favorite kill scene, man.
The fucking aunt is tied to a chair and Vicki and Art cram this big old tube down her throat
(40:48):
like, I don't know, pipe, cram it down her throat, pound it in with a mallet.
Yeah, I think PVC but clear.
And then they start putting little rats down in there.
Yeah.
They're not even that little.
Yeah, they're not little.
Yeah, they're big rats.
They're big rats.
They're some chunky boys.
And they fucking hold some fire or some shit next to the pipe so the rats go down to her
(41:13):
throat.
Yeah.
And rats are just going down her throat and burrowing in there.
And then they fucking slit that chick's throat and all the rats fall out.
Yeah.
It's a clever, it's like a clever take on, this is a like a medieval thing where they
would put rats under a pot on a stomach and then like, they did it in the Game of Thrones
(41:44):
books.
I don't think they really showed it on the show, but it was in the books.
Yeah, they call that guy the tickler.
Yeah, something like that.
The rats tickling death.
Yeah, they're involving like too fast too furious had a scene too.
What the fuck really?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what it was.
Dang, I don't know what are they doing in fucking the 10th one?
(42:07):
They put a freaking rat on a guy's stomach and put a pot over it and heated the pot up
and the rat started eating through his stomach.
I thought they just raced in that movie.
I'm pretty sure that's what movie it was.
It was a weird movie.
It was a weird movie for it to happen on.
I swear it was too fast too furious.
(42:27):
You're probably right.
I mean, I can't argue with it.
I must have seen that one because I watched them.
I think I watched the first three because Paul Walker is a divine creature.
To behold, but I couldn't tell you a single thing that happened in any of the ones I saw.
(42:49):
I mean, I Google it and it comes up with a YouTube video that says too fast too furious
rat in a bucket scene.
I didn't doubt you at all.
I just I don't remember a single thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's just, I don't know.
It's such a crazy thing to happen in a racing movie.
Yeah.
It's like the guy from freaking that's what's his name?
(43:11):
I think his name is Bobby and something.
He sounds like anarchy guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So yeah, that's by far my favorite kill scene.
I don't know.
The chainsaw in the ass is good, but I think the rats are a little more creative.
Yeah, it's a little more ominous.
Freaking tin bucket.
(43:31):
Yeah.
What about you Lisa?
What was your favorite kill?
Man, I don't even know.
I know I'm probably forgetting some.
The construction workers were underrated.
When you think you've happened upon a suicide situation in a bathtub and then the bitch
pulls the glass out of her own wrist and fucks your shit off.
(43:55):
That's pretty brutal.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I think that probably my favorite probably was the shower scene.
It was good.
And then he did the little blood angel thing afterwards.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I thought the shower one was good.
I know.
(44:16):
I think a lot of the kills kind of get overshadowed by the shower and the fucking rats.
So much that it's like, it's hard for me to remember any of the other ones.
Great kills, crazy gory.
Suspicious storyline.
Yeah.
Let's get into the storyline and see if maybe we can figure it out.
We can't.
(44:36):
Okay.
I think it.
Yeah.
We're not going to be able to.
Okay.
Well, I'm not going to be able to.
I don't.
Well, we've discussed that Art and Vicky are obviously some sort of demons.
Right.
And you know, Sienna has lived through it and is now having visions and all this that it's
(45:03):
happening again.
Because obviously she's somehow linked to art.
Like Harry Potter always knew when Voldemort was back, you know.
Yeah.
I think it was art.
She's obviously some kind of portal.
Like this is a trope that's happened before where someone has the appropriate bloodline.
(45:26):
And if I inhabit their body, then I can summon, you know, like the horde or whatever they're
trying to do.
And that seems to be like what they're getting at with this last bit is that because she's
trying to like get her to give up so that double bitch can inhabit her instead.
Yeah.
Like I guess Sienna is like the foil to art.
(45:50):
And if a fucking demon possesses Sienna, it's nothing to worry about.
Right.
Yeah.
I guess a foil, the fucking arch nemesis.
It's a word.
I swear it's a fucking word.
I'm not making up words.
Okay.
I don't know if he's making up words.
I just understood what he meant.
Okay.
A foil in a story is a character event or social issue that contrasts with another character
(46:16):
to highlight their traits.
I mean, it works.
Yeah.
I've never heard that used like that before.
Well, you know, I'm kind of like a literary dude.
Yeah.
You're not.
So.
Yeah.
When I think, you know, literary prowess or...
Yeah.
You think foil.
...firm grasp on any language.
(46:38):
Deuterogonist.
He thinks of you.
That's where he's going with that.
He thinks of you when he thinks of those things.
Yeah.
I mean, I...
You think linguistic expertise.
Yeah.
I'm your foil.
Unflappable grammaticisms.
We highlight each other's character traits.
Yeah.
And all that.
(46:58):
We're foils.
Yeah.
Because I'm a big dumb dumb dumb.
Oh, okay.
It's all right.
You know, maybe you hang out.
Keep hanging out with me.
I know.
I'll get to your level one day, pod daddy.
I'll rub off on you a little bit.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Rub you off.
Someone needs to.
My heart is, fuck.
Another...
Okay.
(47:19):
Well, in Twin Peaks, The Return, episode eight, season three.
Can you talk about how much airtime Twin Peaks gets on this podcast?
I know.
You talk about Twin Peaks a lot.
(47:40):
Yeah, we do.
I know.
I'm here for it.
I just thought I'd mention it.
Laura Palmer is born as a direct response to Bob being put into the universe.
Okay.
They come out as little orbs.
Bob's a little black orb.
Laura Palmer's a little gold orb.
They're foils.
(48:05):
What about that fucking weird scene?
I guess it's like a dream that CNN has.
It's like some weird little fucking demon goblin or whatever making the sword, I guess.
There's like Mother Mary or something over here.
That's a painting.
Isn't it?
(48:25):
It's a painting?
What they depicted in that scene is an actual painting.
Oh, shit.
Okay.
Yeah, I can't think of what it's called now, of course.
But yeah, it's like evil being held in check by Piety, which I guess is supposed to be
a metaphor for what this bitch is supposed to be doing.
Yeah.
(48:47):
So I actually thought in a vacuum, that scene itself was very cool, excepting I don't think
it belonged in this movie, maybe.
It was a little odd.
Does that make sense?
It didn't.
Yeah, it was weird.
I don't know.
I knew that he was making the sword.
Yeah.
But yeah, it was so fucking weird.
(49:07):
But then this movie did get way more fantastical than I was anticipating.
Yeah.
Well, and I expected maybe more of that because we saw the second one.
And I felt like it was kind of a lead up, you know?
And then we didn't really get much of it.
I did see the second one, but I think I was really drunk.
(49:30):
And it was like when it came out.
Yeah.
So I just watched it like a couple of weeks ago.
I just feel like there was so much kind of crammed into that little end section that
it was just so fucking weird.
It became convoluted because no...
(49:51):
In my brain, what separates good movies from sort of not is like character development
versus plot development.
And in this last like 20 minutes, we got a fuck ton of plot development and no character
development.
So, you know, we have all these plot points shoved forward, but the characters are still
where we left them.
So yeah.
(50:11):
I mean, I did kind of like a little bit of the kind of dealing with the trauma of seeing
this trauma from the second movie.
I really liked when she's seeing her dead friend at the dinner table.
Pass me the rice.
She was just talking shit the whole time.
Yeah, that was pretty crazy.
(50:32):
Yeah, because that was definitely what her friend was like.
Anyway.
How much to this day do you think this film impacts you, Jack?
Because it was a solid week afterwards that I heard you still mentioning art.
It's going to be a while longer.
So I know this is a thing that people deal with where they watch an intense film and
(50:56):
they like have struggle like sleeping or they don't want the lights off and stuff.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I've never experienced this in my life, though.
So I have a very difficult time treating this seriously.
I'm so sorry for you.
And that I'm your partner.
You're good.
I'm just going to be checking all the dark phases and clauses and stuff before going
(51:21):
to bed.
Mm hmm. Making sure that we're safe.
I don't mean to marry.
You're marrying the danger.
I don't think it's registering for you yet.
We're not safe, and it's because of me.
(51:43):
I will deal with that later when you're dressed up as a clown
with those teeth and those crazy eyes.
So I get closer every day.
Oh, my God, dude.
Both going to get a fucking art costume and just hide in the corner waiting for you to
get home or some shit and just fucking scare the fuck out of you, dude.
(52:06):
It's rare that I'm home and he's not.
So that on the off chance that they are almost like clockwork every time I hear him
coming up the stairs outside and then I hear the key going to the door.
So I go and wait behind the door.
I don't like jump out.
It's scary. Just poke.
It elicits a jump every time.
(52:28):
Yeah. And I feed on that.
Hell, yeah. I thrive.
If you enjoy the terrifying movies,
all the gore, all the blood, all the guts, fucking insane kills,
awesome practical effects, come join us at what the fuck are you watching?
(52:50):
Where we kind of explore the more kind of extreme or indie or underground.
If you want more of super gore, nastiness, I think I would recommend
American Guinea Pig Blood Shock.
That's one of our favorites here at the podcast or the Japanese Guinea Pig
(53:14):
Flower of Flesh and Blood, Tokyo Gore, please.
It's our current number one favorite movie here.
Join the dark side.
Join us as we explore the most fucked up things we can find.
Yeah. And have such a great time doing it.
Oh, yeah. I guess we'll just go around and give a what the fuck moment for this movie.
(53:37):
Lisa, what's your what the fuck moment?
I think my what the fuck moment is Vicky masturbating with that piece of glass.
Oh, yeah. That's pretty fucked up.
The blood was aggressive.
Yeah. I mean, the jabbing was aggressive.
So the blood being aggressive makes sense, but.
(53:58):
Yeah, she's getting with it. Yeah.
I've seen gentler fingerings. Yeah.
Yeah, that show was uncalled for.
Yeah.
I really did like this movie, though.
Like I I liked it a lot.
I know we're probably not adding it to our leaderboard or anything,
(54:20):
but it would be my favorite movie if we were.
I know. Yeah, I'm right there with you.
All right, Jack, what's your what the fuck moment?
Well, I probably have to be there at the beginning in the mental ward.
Where's the Vicky?
Yeah, Vicky.
Or she's just sitting there screaming, cuddling his head.
(54:41):
He made me do it.
Uh huh.
That was the fuck.
That was probably my what the fuck?
Yeah. Yeah.
That head was looking fucking gross and it had this big ol.
I don't know.
Was it an umbilical cord or something, dude?
I thought it was a spinal column.
Yeah, it was huge.
(55:02):
Whatever it was.
Oh, what the fuck? Yeah, that was crazy.
Yeah, it was at least eight inches.
Yeah, that's a good one.
I kind of forgot about that.
All right, well, it's your what the fuck moment.
I think we got to go with
that having no wrist bones
(55:22):
and clutching a sword, trying to pull your friend to safety.
Yeah, that sort of I I couldn't deal with that one very well at all.
Yeah.
That whole scene was sort of what the fuck, but I'll go with that.
Yeah, she hit the fucking sword underneath the tree as a present to,
(55:43):
I guess, herself.
I don't know.
That's kind of weird.
But, uh, so this is that's a part where you get so contrived
because she's like, I know I'm not crazy.
I get that if they had left the character develop more,
it would have played out better where she's like trying to decide
if she's crazy or not.
Yeah, because I relate to that.
Sometimes I'm like not so sure about myself.
(56:06):
So I get that.
I guess it's not a like a super important moment, but she's like,
you know, I got to go get the sword from the carnival, the terrify ride
and we never see it.
And so I don't know.
I think a big moment because at this point, she doesn't completely know
if art is real or not.
(56:26):
She doesn't know if she's hallucinating, blah, blah, blah.
So I don't know.
I think seeing her going to get the sword and yeah, I think that would have been
impactful.
That definitely could have been included.
I wonder if it was.
I wonder if they just I wonder if they shot something like that
and didn't like it or something or if they just didn't feel it necessary.
Yeah, I guess.
(56:48):
Yeah, because the only thing we got was when she got back to the house
after she was talking about she had to go get it.
And the hands were all dirty.
You know, yeah.
Like that was it. That was the only thing showing us that she had dug it up.
And then I think Jonathan said something to her about did she get it?
And she was like, yeah.
Yeah.
But I guess, you know, if you had to cut something, I guess that would be
(57:09):
something to cut.
I'm I'm hearing like they had to cut a lot like he had.
Damien Leone, the director, had a much longer movie.
It is a fucking he's not a bad looking dude.
I'm not a bad looking dude.
I think I think he's hot. But anyway.
(57:29):
But he had a much longer movie.
I think he had to cut a lot.
And I really think it shows.
Well, because it was already over two hours long.
Yeah.
And I think it's, you know, just a product of trying to add
a story to as much story as he could.
A gore movie like you can't cut any gore out because at its heart,
(57:51):
that's what it is.
And I think he's just trying to add something to it.
And I think he's just trying to add story to give it a little bit of credibility.
Maybe we've mentioned this on here before that sometimes
it almost affects the impactfulness of the thing when they add just a
a story for a story's sake is not always a beneficial thing.
(58:15):
And I think I think some parts of that
were present here.
Yeah, because I like I do love Sienna.
And I like that we got her in Terrifier 2.
But at the same time, I think Terrifier 1 is my favorite
just for the simplicity and the kind of style of it.
I agree. I really like this movie.
(58:35):
It's definitely well where this podcast is concerned.
It's definitely my favorite thing we've watched.
But I also like Terrifier 1 better.
What about you, Chris?
What's your what the fuck moment?
Yeah, thankfully you guys didn't take it, but it's the fucking rats in the throat.
I think it would be someone's.
Yeah, that shit was crazy, man.
(58:57):
Yeah. All those live rats pouring out of that lady's throat.
Yeah. Well, it's satisfying.
That was going to be yours.
Yeah, I figured it's good when
they can actually like keep climaxing the displays of violence.
Yeah, I think they did that really well.
Yeah, definitely.
I know, man, they're just going to have to keep stepping it up.
(59:19):
Every single movie eventually
because you're going to plateau at some point, right?
Well, that's why they all beer fantastic.
It's like I have the same issue.
I don't like I'm kind of over Jason and stuff like he's
some sort of like supernatural deity.
Yeah. Now, and that I'm just, you know, it loses some of the edge for me.
It's at least scarier to me when it's like some dude who lives next door.
(59:43):
Yeah.
Who is just fucking psycho.
Yeah, that's scarier to me. Yeah.
Which is why August Underground.
Exactly. Is the most disturbing movie we've watched for me.
I agree.
Yeah, I mean, I haven't I haven't fucked with the slasher
movies in so long just because they're kind of boring and predictable.
(01:00:07):
Yeah, it's always about virginity.
Yeah, have sex. You're going to fucking die.
Mm hmm. Yeah, this is all just one long con like owed to mean girls.
I swear to God. Yeah.
Yeah. Sex. Get pregnant. You die.
I didn't think I would like a slasher movie as much as I like this one.
(01:00:27):
All right, at least we're going to do our patented.
What the fuck are you watching?
Spicy on a scale where we compare.
The extremity of the movie
to the extremity of spicy food.
Yeah. I don't like going first.
Oh, just the way it goes, man, it's the flow.
(01:00:49):
I'm going to say this is
I think I've used something similar before, but whatever.
Yeah, we're just for second with everything at this point.
This is like a volcano taco.
With hot Cheetos added.
And fire sauce.
Oh, yeah. OK. Yeah. OK.
Oh, yeah. Spicy.
(01:01:10):
I don't like that.
All right, Jack, what spicy food would you
equate this movie to?
Now, you want to talk suspicious palates.
What flavor of Kool-Aid was this?
What?
I cannot compare it to Kool-Aid, but spicy I can do.
(01:01:35):
And I'm going to have to go with the noodles that Bo and I get from the.
From the Asian marketplace.
It's pretty spicy.
It's sometimes so hot that I have to put it down for a bit.
Yeah. But they're ultimately pretty good.
Yeah. Hell, yeah.
I think it's going to be a little bit spicy.
(01:01:57):
Good. Yeah. Hell, yeah.
Dude, we got a pretty fucking sick porn to watch tonight.
Jack, if you want to join us.
No, I'm good.
Just thought I'd offer. I'm good.
Thank you. It's probably very bloody and involves puke.
And I don't know.
I really don't know.
I'm sure it's bloody. I don't know about puke yet.
(01:02:19):
I don't think there's puke in it.
Bo, how spicy is terrifier three?
It's like jalapeno cornbread.
But you took a bite thinking it was banana bread.
OK. So like, it's actually really just good.
But you thought it was something else.
It was a surprise. Yeah. Yeah.
How about you, Chris?
(01:02:40):
How spicy was this movie?
OK, I'm going to go with.
The fruit gushers.
But the filling is like a ghost pepper hot sauce.
OK, you burst that motherfucker open in your mouth, gushes you
like a chainsaw to the asshole.
(01:03:02):
Which, you know, if you've got a gummy full of liquefied ghost pepper,
you could argue.
That it's going to feel like a chainsaw in your asshole at some point.
One way or another, you're fucking getting a chainsaw to your ass.
You're fucking getting a chainsaw to the ass.
(01:03:22):
It's going to be red.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I think that's going to do it for our bonus episode
of What the Fuck Are You Watching? Yeah.
If you like the Terrifier series, come see what else we have to offer.
We got gore. We got puke and piss
and a rumored Nazi sex wizard just waiting for you.
(01:03:46):
Here at What the Fuck Are You Watching? Say bye, bitch.
Bye, bitch. Bye, bitch.
These idiots forgot to rate the movie.
I've gathered their scores and it averages to four stars.
(01:04:07):
Jack later went on to watch the murder porno.
He said, oh, fuck, and we never heard from him again.
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