WTF is on my Mind?!
Author, Speaker, Whistleblower and award-winning Director Mark Vicente was behind the sleeper hit “What The Bleep Do We Know?!” Several books have been written about the film’s remarkable grassroots marketing campaign, which led to its unprecedented success. Mark was born in Johannesburg, South Africa in 1965. Taking his first photograph at age four, he quickly discovered his passion for being behind the camera. After attending film and drama school in South Africa, he began working his way up the ranks of the camera department, from Assistant to Operator to Cinematographer. His first big break came as Director of Photography on the musical “SARAFINA,” starring Whoopi Goldberg. In 1992, he set his sights on Hollywood and relocated to Los Angeles to shoot his first studio picture for Disney; “FATHERHOOD,” starring Patrick Swayze and Halle Berry. At the age of 26, he became one of the youngest cinematographers to shoot a big-budget studio picture. Over the next few decades, he went on to shoot an additional 14 feature films and numerous documentaries, music videos and commercials. Mark soon found there were in him, untold stories he desperately wanted to express as a Director. He was driven by the conviction that tales of greatness, nobility and introspection could be exciting and financially successful. Perhaps because of the very obvious race and class iniquities in South Africa, he found himself propelled to question certain fundamental assumptions at a very young age. Beliefs about human behavior, cosmology, religion, existentialism and mysticism. Along the way, he stumbled into a few situations where leaders with malignant pathologies (masquerading as saintly philosophers) spoke the talk of self-improvement but did untold damage to their followers... and him. Looking back, he can now say he has been in at least two cults. His last foray into personal growth and his defection from NXIVM was chronicled in the HBO series “The Vow”. Mark and a few plucky whistleblowers exposed the criminal activities of the organization, resulting in multiple arrests and indictments. He doesn’t consider himself a cult expert, but by his own admission, “I’m an expert in being screwed over, waking up, and knowing how to spot them.” He’s got a pretty salty approach to most things and is fascinated by the myriad patterns in the human psychodynamic that create the best and the worst in civilization. Join Mark as he unpacks a whole range of topics to do with: Psychology, Consciousness, Morality, Narcissistic Abuse, Spirituality, Cults, Propaganda, Science, Filmmaking, and Philosophy.You never quite know what you’re going to get, as it really does depend on… WTF is on his mind?!
Episodes
In this episode, I sit down with Richard Grannon to ask the question that’s been on my mind for a while: What is Borderline Personality Disorder? And when you're trying to figure out someone's irrational behavior, is it BPD? Complex PTSD? Or Vulnerable Narcissism?
I’ve encountered some wildly confusing behavior in recent years—emotional whiplash, contradictions, disappearing boundaries—and I’ve been trying to make sense of...
This conversation with Richard Grannon covers a topic I’ve been wanting to unpack for a long time: the tension between self-reflection and what often gets labeled as victim blaming.
If you’ve experienced narcissistic abuse, coercive control, or cult manipulation, you’ve probably come up against this moment — where someone talks about agency or healing, and it lands like blame. I’ve felt that too.
Richard and I dive into why that ha...
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What if narcissistic abuse doesn’t show up right away… but builds up like radiation in the body—silent, invisible, and devastating over time?
In this solo episode, recorded from Cape Town, I reflect on family lineage, legacy, and the long-term effects of being around nar...
In this episode of WTF is on My Mind?!, I sit down with Dr. Peter Salerno — a retired psychotherapist and author who has spent decades studying personality disorders, psychopathy, and complex trauma.
Our conversation dives straight into one of the most heated debates in psychology: are narcissists shaped by trauma and upbringing, or are some people simply born with traits that evolve into full-blown disorders? Dr. Salerno ...
New Youtube Channel and Podcast - "Remember Your Greatness"
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In this episode of WTF Is On My Mind?!, I sit down with Richard Grannon for a deep dive into the strange history of psychology, its blind spots, and what happens when we ignore the transpersonal, morality, and meaning.
We ask the uncomfortable questions: Why did Freud’s worldview win out over Jung and Adl...
In this follow-up conversation, filmmaker, whistleblower, and podcast host Mark Vicente sits down again with Sarma Melngailis, the woman at the center of Netflix’s Bad Vegan.
While the series portrayed her as complicit with Anthony Strangis and ignored key truths, Sarma’s new memoir, The Girl with the Duck Tattoo, reveals the deeper story: years of coercive control, psychological abuse, and dissociation.
1st Inter...
In this episode of WTF is On My Mind?!, filmmaker and whistleblower Mark Vicente explores what happens when we try to understand an irrational or dangerous mind. Whether it’s a cult leader, an abuser, or the mainstream media—attempting to “map” insanity can destabilize one’s own sanity.
Brain Talk: How Mind Mapping Brain Science Can Change Your Life & Everyone In It - by David Schnarch
Mark unpacks the concept of mind mapping—our...
In this episode of WTF is on My Mind?!, filmmaker and whistleblower Mark Vicente sits down with Richard Grannon for a conversation that begins with vampires and then branches into a whole labyrinth of topics. They explore how myths like Dracula and other vampire lore may have been early attempts to explain narcissism and psychopathy before psychology even existed. From there, the discussion moves into why narcissists drain people t...
In this episode of WTF Is On My Mind?!, Mark Vicente pulls back the curtain on one of the most insidious tools of social control: shunning — not just as a personal act of rejection, but as a systemic, psychological weapon masquerading as moral high ground.
This isn’t just about cults. It’s about how cult behavior has gone mainstream — how families, political factions, media outlets, and activist circles now use public exil...
What happens when people finally see through the lies? Mark Vicente breaks down the Epstein cover-up, government blackmail operations, and why we can't wait for heroes to save us. Mark connects the dots between cult dynamics and political power structures, drawing from his experience as a NXIVM whistleblower.
The Epstein Cover-Up and What It Really Means: Mark digs into why the official narrative around Epstein's...
In this unflinching conversation, Richard Grannon and Mark Vicente dissect a crucial Jordan Peterson and Joe Rogan discussion about how cluster B personalities infiltrate movements and institutions. We explore the dark psychology behind "parasitized empathy" and why good intentions can make you vulnerable to manipulation.
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Key Topics Discussed:
- The 4-5% Problem: How cluster B personaliti...
Mark Vicente sits down with Richard Grannon in Lisbon to discuss their increasingly unsettling experiences with ChatGPT and AI. What starts as curiosity about AI capabilities quickly becomes a deep dive into psychological manipulation, digital cult tactics, and the terrifying sophistication of modern AI systems.
Key revelations from this episode:
- How AI accurately profiled Richard's personality, IQ, and behavioral ...
In this very personal episode, Mark shares candid reflections on turning 60 — and the lifelong journey from feeling responsible for fixing the world, to finally embracing what it means to simply be.
He opens up about childhood moments that shaped him, the weight of perfectionism, and the myth of “enlightenment” that led him into high-control groups. Mark explores how healing, authenticity, and connection matter more than c...
What happens when you leave a cult—but the cult is still running a program in your mind?
In this episode, Mark Vicente sits down with author and trauma educator Richard Grannon to explore the long tail of coercive control. They talk about the psychological residue that lingers after you’ve exited—whether it’s from a high-control group, a toxic relationship, or a narcissistic parent.
They dive into:
• Why so m...
Episode Summary:
In this deeply intimate conversation, Mark sits down with his old friend Karen Unterreiner — a woman who spent four decades at the epicenter of what the world came to know as NXIVM. Once a high-ranking member, deeply entangled both professionally and personally with Keith Raniere, Karen shares her long journey of waking up from psychological captivity.
What does it mean to have your entire adult identity shaped by so...
Breaking the Spell — Motherhood, Escape & Reclaiming her Voice | Part 2
In Part 2 of this powerful conversation, Bethany Joy Lenz — actor, singer, and author of Dinner for Vampires — continues her story of life inside a high-control religious group while navigating fame on One Tree Hill.
This episode picks up where we left off: unpacking the emotional, spiritual, and psychological cost of living under manipula...
Living Two Lives — Hollywood Fame & Hidden Cult Control | Part 1
“You can’t be human here.”
In Part 1 of this raw and revelatory conversation, One Tree Hill star Bethany Joy Lenz opens up about the decade she spent inside a high-control religious group — all while filming a hit TV show and hiding a double life.
We talk about:
- The slow creep of coercive control masked as faith
- The emotional...
This episode contains candid discussion about narcissistic abuse, psychopathy, high-control systems, workplace trauma, and cult dynamics. Please listen with care.
What if the charming, high-achieving leader at your company—or in your government—isn’t just a narcissist… but a full-blown corporate psychopath? In this revealing episode, I sit down with Dr. Cynthia Mathieu, a psychologist and professor who studies “dark leadership”—the ...
Guest: Jacob Skidmore (@TheNamelessNarcissist)
“People say narcissists wear a mask… I am the mask.”
Jacob Skidmore has been diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. He’s one of the very few who talks about it—openly, unfiltered, and without a script.
In this raw and revealing conversation, we dive into the unsettling inner world of NPD: the chronic emptiness, the relentless need for admiration, t...
In this episode, Mark Vicente unpacks the concept of self-sealing systems — those airtight ideological loops used in cults, extreme religious groups, and even political tribes to block out dissent and lock members deeper into belief. Drawing from his own lived experience in NXIVM (aka ESP), Mark explains how these systems use circular logic, linguistic reframing, and fear-based conditioning to keep followers compliant and questioni...
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