September 13, 2023 • 22 mins
© 2023 Raw Material Entertainment
Hosted by: The Global Zoe, Eric Biddines & Drego Mill
Are your expressions of affection getting lost in translation? Ever pondered how the words you use and the actions you take manifest as your unique love language? This episode takes you on a journey to uncover the love languages beyond the ones we're traditionally taught. We delve into the fascinating realm of affectionate expressions, which may take the form of words of affirmation, acts of service, or even the usage of one-of-a-kind nicknames.
Speaking of nicknames, have you ever wondered the significance of these special monikers? We discuss the importance of nicknames, how they're derived, what they symbolize, and their prevalence in different settings. From sports teams to schools, nicknames are more than just an eccentric tag; they're an intimate shorthand in our relationships. Plus, you'll get to hear some of our own amusing and heartwarming nickname stories!
Imagine having close ties with someone you've never met face-to-face. In this digital age, that's more than just a possibility. We examine how online relationships impact our love language, and the unique challenges that come with balancing online friendships and real-life relationships. From managing expectations to prioritizing connections, we share insights on making sense of these complex dynamics. Join us as we journey through the intricate labyrinth of love languages and online relationships in this enlightening episode.
⏰ Chapter Markers ⏰
0:00 - Exploring Love Languages and Personal Needs
8:28 - Love Languages and Nicknames
12:38 - Internet Relationships' Impact on Love Language
20:27 - Balancing Online Relationships With Real-Life Priorities
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, you just you just stimulated something in my
mind where you said when wethink of love languages, we
always talk about what Bringstogether.
Right, but there can be alanguage in love To where, with
withdrawal, actually makes you abetter lover.
(00:23):
But I don't never see those onthe list.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Nobody won't talk about it, nobody want to be
honest when it, because my, IMay have is I don't know the
word for it, but I may have a.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
There may be something that's in my love
language that's not on the listand it might be on the side that
you address.
That's not necessarily in theaspect of Giving what the other
person need, right, but it mightbe on the side that we might
look at as negative, like youmight.
(01:00):
A person's love language mightbe.
I don't need to see you Hearfrom you for two days straight.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Here's okay.
Here's the question.
So I'm gonna ask you straightup what is your love language?
You got to come up with a wordfor it because she's gonna want
to know.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Oh, somebody always gave me my love language.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
No, I never agree to it.
Oh okay, okay, let's use youfor example.
What's your words?
Speaker 1 (01:24):
of, I'll be told words of affirmation yeah, I
don't accept nothing.
I don't accept none of these.
I listen, maybe that's how it'sperceived, but truly I don't
know my love language, becausethere's things I I clock went in
the in the context of how weuse love.
(01:45):
I have some Concerns that Idon't that, on that I don't
agree with.
So my love language Might be ona different side of the
spectrum that we, not that thatwe are ignoring.
You got to find out.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Yeah, that's important for you to find out.
Well, we, we need, we need tothere's a quiz Let thing that
was able to identify what it wasfor me.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
I forgot where I got it from this is the quiz, is
Something gonna come outregardless, because you gonna
click something there if I wasto do the quiz.
They may be things I might nothave a response for, but I'm
gonna have to say it Anyways,because a response need to be
generated in this and now I'magreeing to that.
(02:31):
So I'm agreeing, yeah, whereit's affirmation is my love
language.
But in reality, do I need thewords, do you?
Know, that's the question.
No, I've you know for sure.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
So no, I was all your people around you, I mean
saying nothing but negativethings to you.
Or when you, when you go outthere I don't know you, let's
say yours a Friday and you justwant to go out dinner and you
just put it on the table and noone don't say nothing.
That act like it's regular, buteveryone's like, hey, thank you
for bringing dinner tonight.
That that was perfect.
This is exactly what I wanted,man, you just, you just do a
(03:09):
phenomenal job.
Man, you always know what Iwant.
Like just hearing that from,like, let's say, a partner.
That would be like words ofaffirmation, like confirming
that.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
If it don't define my language of love like that,
just that, just feel good I'm.
I'm almost we expecting us todo that regardless for each
other, things like that it feelsnice.
But when I'm taught, when I'mgetting into the intricate teach
, intricateness, interest Idon't know the word when I'm
(03:45):
getting into the details of mylove language.
I Wouldn't hold you to.
I Wouldn't hold you to, I guess, the languages of love that
that can be there, like I'mgonna take into consideration
(04:06):
Inconsistency and stuff likethat there's.
There are some things thatmight sound negative.
That's gonna be more my lovelanguage, my love language.
I know that you will every day.
You ain't going to do this.
I know that every it.
Some days I might not want tosee you at all.
Sometimes I might want to.
(04:28):
I might have a desire for astranger Like not nothing sexual
, but like strangers arestimulating, like when you
having a conversation you justmeet somebody random and you go
yeah, yeah, y'all just talk andit's like oh, it's a good
conversation.
We don't know nothing abouteach other.
Sometimes, you even expressmore to a stranger than someone
(04:53):
you know.
So there's things that wouldstrengthen my relationship with
somebody I love that have zeroto do with them.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
That falls under that category too, though.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
So it's the same category Of what Affirmation?
Words of affirmation, but youstimulated something when you
talked about like the withdrawal, and that can be a love
language.
It could be a warning as well.
It could be a warning, justlike the what's the one for
(05:25):
gifts like that can be a warningfor somebody who ain't got it.
So there's some things that'sin the language and it might be
out there.
Somebody might have a moredetail that shows the what we
may consider red flags.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
So let me ask you this so because let's just say I
can't give right now, but Ilike to, instead of giving, I
like to help, that's still fallsunder that category, doesn't?
Speaker 2 (05:52):
it give.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
Like like.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
I forgot the yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Yeah, it's still falls under that category of
giving.
You know what I'm saying.
If I know I can't give thatperson this, but I like to help.
Let's just say you're movingand I like to come in and help
out.
Like you know what I'm saying,it's just all falls under that
category.
It's just like that category ofgiving.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
We needed a woman.
She wouldn't know all the words, of course.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
So when we have that interview, yeah, we can have
that conversation.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
You can't let us know that in the comments?
Speaker 3 (06:19):
They got us, they won't put it.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
They can't get this, but I get you.
I don't know.
I think it's, and I'm notsaying your love language.
That's the like.
That's probably gonna be themain one Cause I think you can
probably relate to all of them.
That exists.
But, like I think, the way Iwas brought up right and in the
Haitian household, your momain't telling you I love you
(06:41):
back in the day.
And I ain't talking abouttoday's Haitian parent, I'm
talking about us growing upright, your mama as a kid.
Did she ever come home and belike I love you?
Speaker 3 (06:49):
Then people don't say I love you, I'm giving, but did
you ever hear that?
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Like you know what I'm saying.
So for me, like, so what I'msaying and I'm not saying this
right, but like in my adulthoodI'm not really looking for that
for someone to come by and belike, hey, I love you, hey, I
appreciate it, like I feel likeyour action it was kind of more
of action, I think, as long asthey knew you had a roof over
your head, they put food on thetable, they gave you the best
(07:13):
clothes that they could give youand I'm talking about for folks
who's like, born in the 80s.
I think that's the way of likeyou should know this Like I'm
doing this because I do love you, but they ain't say it.
So I guess for me, like when Icould relate to the love
language is this, because Idon't go around looking for that
but if you the words ofaffirmation, like if you just
let me know, like if I'm go outmy way to do something for you
(07:35):
or I'm just doing what I'm doingand you acknowledge it, you
know what I'm saying I come homewith a new business, a new
venture, a new idea and youlisten and you digest it and
gives me some good feedback onit, like that will mean more to
me than you sitting here tellingme like I love you, oh I care
for you, like you could sit downand we could bust a play
(07:56):
together, like that's a littledifferent from just than I
thought I had.
Or an idea and you helping me,you looking into it and getting
back to me Like that's how I'mrolling, that's why I started
understanding that, oh, this isreally a thing.
Then I also dealt with folkswho, like they just wanna, after
eight o'clock, they wanna getin this bed.
Just hold me, let's watch theTV.
I don't worry about nothing.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
I don't care how much money you got right now.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
None of that is a concern.
If we can find a good movie andyou hold me till I fall asleep,
we good Like that's a realthing.
That's me right now.
You know what I'm saying?
You a?
Speaker 3 (08:30):
cuddler?
No, I'm not a cuddler, my girlis she just yeah, she just yeah,
touch, Touch is the lovelanguage.
You're not a cuddler.
No man, I think I won't.
No, no, no, you look like acuddler.
Well, you, yeah, you look likea cuddler.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
What's funny?
I'm trying to think of that.
I'm interested in you, but I dolook at you like a cuddler.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Yeah, you look like a cuddler.
Well, I'm putting, I'm startingfrom the beginning, like all
the way up, like I can see yourfeet between her feet cuddling
with y'all in a springingposition.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
And you always dress cuddling.
Yeah, you got on the slide, youa cuddler in, a cuddler Like
that's just K for cuddling.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Trying to act like you ain't no cuddler, that's
another thing.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Yeah, I could be cuddling man.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
Oh listen, I'm not a cuddler, but I bet you got a
snuggie.
No, I don't.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
I definitely don't.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Do I want one.
I do want one.
You got to wait at.
Blinkett, I had one, ok, you acuddler, you a cuddler, you a
cuddler, you got a body pillow.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
A body pillow.
Yeah, she got a body pillow.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Now definitely not, that's too funny.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, man.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
That's crazy.
Oh cuddler, you look like acuddler.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Wow, wow, oh man.
I like the concept of lovelanguages.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
They are OK.
The person closer to you isdefinitely going to let you know
what your love, your lovelanguages.
The closest person to you.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
I definitely got that .
Speaker 1 (09:55):
I definitely got that .
I some, and this, this is a meproblem.
I don't like to be given alabel that I ain't really I
ain't really sell on myself.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
OK, so you don't accept nicknames Like like, if
the homies gave you a nickname,all my nicknames didn't come
from me.
Drago was not.
I didn't come up with Drago.
It used to be before.
Drago was D or big D, because Iused to be really really,
really big, I thought nicknamesBig Diego.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Big Diego, big Diego, big Diego, big Diego, big Diego
.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
But yeah, so again, I think nicknames should be given
to you, to me.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
I mean, that's how it was, especially growing up
Right and usually Haitians.
It's on your disability, bro.
Like you had a sleepy eye.
They call you TeeJay, which youknow what I'm saying with me
little eye.
Like they literally picking onyour handicap.
You know what I mean.
So it was like what the heck,they still call you doodoo.
Bro dawg.
(10:59):
It is crazy, man, I'll tell youthat, and I think we kind of
did it when I played football.
The biggest doodoo on the team,we call them tiny.
See I just man, it's crazy.
It's crazy with the nicknames.
But I'm about to say, becauseshoot, what nicknames you got
besides Eric B.
I know I say slab.
That's just because I think Iknow you from that era.
(11:20):
I still say slab sometimes theyused to.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
When I played on a little league football, they
called me water break.
Water break I would take.
I would just go take waterbreaks anytime I was thirsty,
but I didn't know that there wasa time to take water break.
And they was looking for me andI was there, was like where you
was?
I was like I want to get somewater.
(11:43):
They were like you don't go,get no water, water break.
This was the coach star.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
He on a water break.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Go take a little go take a little.
So last night everybody startedcalling me water break Because
I was this literally.
It was literally Dairy Rocks.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Oh, you play for the Rocks.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Yeah, yeah they kind of transcended over into like
school to people that were likethe other football players that
went to the school.
They would call me water, breakthrough the hallways and stuff.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
At the LA.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
No, this was on middle school.
Yeah, so this was middle school.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Okay, I'm about to say Okay, water break, water
break.
Wow, look at that, water breakyeah their names are supposed to
be given.
So Drago.
Why Drago from DA?
Why Drago?
Speaker 3 (12:31):
Because it was close to.
Okay, I'm going to put it outthere.
Sorry, X's, it is what it is.
Drago was from an ex-girlfriendand she was calling me Drago
because I was.
I used to be in school, beatingon tables, bathroom doors,
whatever, so Dra, Dr.
(12:53):
Dra was the biggest thing, ofcourse, at the time, and the
government is Diego, so why notreplace the I with the R?
She said Drago, why don't wejust call you Drago?
And I'm like, oh shit, thatshould sound hard.
So we just went with Drago.
So it's a set of DA.
Go with the I.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
You just shut out the dreams.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Yeah, exactly, so I'm going to produce, I'll make
beats.
Started to make beats in highschool.
They called me Drago, so I waslike, okay, that shit went hard
and I just stuck with it.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
If I was to talk about my love, language and
association to relationshipsthrough the ways of internet,
social media.
We met so many peoplethroughout the years, like, I
(13:46):
think, about all the people thatI've met over time through the
internet, some that I didn't see, or whatever the case may be.
When I came here into thisworld it was very small.
The world felt so tiny, right,and everybody was around you.
Then you opened up the internetand now there's people I know
(14:07):
in other countries.
I've seen them have kids.
I've seen so much growth in you, knowing a lot, a lot of people
.
You're having a lot ofrelationships and then it kind
of affects you in a way to whereyou miss more than you can
(14:31):
actually have access to.
I guess I don't know what I wastrying to say with that.
I don't have the words for itbecause, it's not something we
necessarily address as adiscussion, but knowing so many
(14:54):
people through the internet forso many years on top of the
people you know physically, thepeople that you know online,
people I've known for like sevenyears I only know they handle.
I only know them by the time Isee them.
That's what I know them as, butI know them just as well as a
(15:16):
person I might have went to highschool with.
I might know more about themthan I know about a cousin.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Yeah, I'm with you.
I've got about 15 year plusrelationships from people that I
met on the internet and we'vestayed in contact from social
media.
We even got each other numbers.
We don't talk as much, ofcourse everyone's grown, got
kids, but we do check in on eachother from time to time, from
(15:44):
birthdays or holidays.
It's just super cool to havethat.
You know, they seem like someof them, you know, depending on
how you could tell when someoneaddresses me, you know what they
met me, what time of the lifethey met me and, yeah, it goes
that far back and that isamazing and I do cherish that,
because I've met people inreality who probably wasn't as
(16:04):
loyal or done shady things thatmade you want to keep your
distance, not communicate withthose individuals anymore.
But these people that I didn'teven have a chance to meet in
person some of them, but some ofthem are made in person but we
got the best relationships andthey always supported me from
day one and to now.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
This mess up my love language because I can go back
to people and I have, like this,these nostalgic memories of
people Like there was a girl Ionce worked with.
She ended up committing suicidebut I still remember her from
(16:42):
the mind space.
Days Like now think how longago that was, but I still
remember her.
Obviously she committed suicide.
That was sad, but I think abouther.
I know people that have hadkids.
I can remember pictures thatthey may have posted.
One time I was on Instagram andI was going back through people
I had known to somebody, olderpictures Like just going down
(17:08):
memory lane and like going likeoh, this is a picture I remember
.
This is when I met you.
Oh, you look like this and youthinking about these people.
If anybody out there wonderingif people you knew from the
internet think about you, peopledo be thinking about people.
You miss some of theserelationships of internet people
(17:31):
.
They are very, very real andsometimes people check in on you
and you'd be like wait, peoplereally checking in on you from
your internet relationships Likeyou.
On a mind like these, itexpands sometimes further than
what's like right in proximityof you.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Right in proximity.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
Music does that for me, Like if I sing, let me see
your monkey shawty spread.
I know exactly where I was,where I heard it.
I know all the events I wasdoing.
I heard it.
You know what I'm saying.
Music does that for me.
I know what you mean when yousay that.
(18:17):
Trust me.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
It messed up.
I can say it messed up, my lovelanguage.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
Which one?
Because we have multiple.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
What messed up the internet relationships.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Yeah, the internet relationships.
It messed up my love languagebecause I have situations where
I'm right there with a person,but then I might be thinking
about somebody from the internet, not even in an inappropriate
way, but like a friend, likegoing.
The profile may come up.
(18:49):
I might click on a personprofile just to see what they're
doing.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Why are you with the other person?
Speaker 1 (18:56):
Yeah, I've done that before.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
I mean, yeah, one day I think there's a time and a
place for that.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
I'm saying that the internet affected my love
language.
So yeah, I agree with youthere's a time and a place for
that.
But I'm telling you what I haveto do.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
That's what you wanted to do.
In that moment I thought ofthis.
Something compelled me.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
I might go to the bathroom.
Sometimes you take a bathroomyou doodling and then you're
scrolling through and then yousee a profile of a friend or
somebody you know.
You click on a page.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
No, that's cool.
I mean, once again, you're notin that.
I don't know who you are around.
Depending on their status, Ican see how that can cause some
conflict, to say the least.
Yeah, yeah, not.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
If I'm being honest, it caused conflict because these
are real relationships, theseare real people.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
These are real memories.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
So it's like a, it's another domain that is separate
from you and we try to pretendlike it's not so real,
especially for us, because weremember before social media.
So you're kind of acting likeit ain't a threat.
(20:18):
But then you, as time goes on,you're like wait, these
relationships online can be athreat.
But we came in, oh, theinternet, just internet, my
space, my face did it.
Facebook, facebook.
Like you, you're not expectingwhat you're saying there to
actually you get in trouble forit, like when I was in a
(20:42):
relationship and girls commentand I'm like man, it just comes.
Like the insecurities.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
Oh, I like to say the insecurities.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Yeah, the insecurities, I understand that.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
The thoughts real, the heart, emojis real, the
winky eyes, definitely real.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Even the emojis are real.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
right, yeah, what you left on the, what you put on
the heart picture, what, yeah,but I was able to lie and act
like it wasn't real, but thatbenefited me.
Now fast forward to now.
I miss some of these people.
The memories are real, theassociations are real, the
interactions are real, the DMsare real.
(21:20):
No, no the sharing of secretsand problems and issues.
All those are real and you'd belike I got these memories, I
got this, this, this baggage.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
This is going to affect my love language going
forward, so do you think let'sjust say when you get in a
serious relationship, let's saywhen you are.
Do you think, well, I'm notsaying it.
Do you think you will stillhave a struggle?
Now, let's say you meetsomebody, right, you with
somebody.
And now you, you already havethis great relationships you
have with people on the internet, for example.
(21:53):
You don't hang with them everyday, but you probably messes
each other and have greatdialogue in the DM or inbox,
whatever.
So is that always going to be achallenge?
Or do you think eventually youmight have to minimize the
internet friends, like they'regoing to have to play a backseat
, backseat.
I'm talking about the schoolbus.
You know the one-seater all theway in the back.
(22:13):
Why?
Why?
The new persons in theforefront with you?
Do you think you're going tohave to choose ever?
Or you, it's able, you're ableto balance both.
It's just depending onprioritizing.
And hey, if I'm with you, I'mdoing this, if I'm not with you,
I can't stroll and have a goodtime as well.
It's more than just a podcast.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
It's exposure you, you, you, you, you, you, you,
(26:35):
you, you, you, you, you, you,you, you, you, you, you, you,
(32:35):
you, you, you, you, you, you,you, you, you, you, you, you,
(38:35):
you, you, you, you, you, you,you, you, you, you, you, you,
(44:20):
you, you, you, you, you, you you.
Well, you just you just stimulated something in my
mind where you said when wethink of love languages, we
always talk about what Bringstogether.
Right, but there can be alanguage in love To where, with
withdrawal, actually makes you abetter lover.
(00:23):
But I don't never see those onthe list.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Nobody won't talk about it, nobody want to be
honest when it, because my, IMay have is I don't know the
word for it, but I may have a.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
There may be something that's in my love
language that's not on the listand it might be on the side that
you address.
That's not necessarily in theaspect of Giving what the other
person need, right, but it mightbe on the side that we might
look at as negative, like youmight.
(01:00):
A person's love language mightbe.
I don't need to see you Hearfrom you for two days straight.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Here's okay.
Here's the question.
So I'm gonna ask you straightup what is your love language?
You got to come up with a wordfor it because she's gonna want
to know.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Oh, somebody always gave me my love language.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
No, I never agree to it.
Oh okay, okay, let's use youfor example.
What's your words?
Speaker 1 (01:24):
of, I'll be told words of affirmation yeah, I
don't accept nothing.
I don't accept none of these.
I listen, maybe that's how it'sperceived, but truly I don't
know my love language, becausethere's things I I clock went in
the in the context of how weuse love.
(01:45):
I have some Concerns that Idon't that, on that I don't
agree with.
So my love language Might be ona different side of the
spectrum that we, not that thatwe are ignoring.
You got to find out.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Yeah, that's important for you to find out.
Well, we, we need, we need tothere's a quiz Let thing that
was able to identify what it wasfor me.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
I forgot where I got it from this is the quiz, is
Something gonna come outregardless, because you gonna
click something there if I wasto do the quiz.
They may be things I might nothave a response for, but I'm
gonna have to say it Anyways,because a response need to be
generated in this and now I'magreeing to that.
(02:31):
So I'm agreeing, yeah, whereit's affirmation is my love
language.
But in reality, do I need thewords, do you?
Know, that's the question.
No, I've you know for sure.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
So no, I was all your people around you, I mean
saying nothing but negativethings to you.
Or when you, when you go outthere I don't know you, let's
say yours a Friday and you justwant to go out dinner and you
just put it on the table and noone don't say nothing.
That act like it's regular, buteveryone's like, hey, thank you
for bringing dinner tonight.
That that was perfect.
This is exactly what I wanted,man, you just, you just do a
(03:09):
phenomenal job.
Man, you always know what Iwant.
Like just hearing that from,like, let's say, a partner.
That would be like words ofaffirmation, like confirming
that.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
If it don't define my language of love like that,
just that, just feel good I'm.
I'm almost we expecting us todo that regardless for each
other, things like that it feelsnice.
But when I'm taught, when I'mgetting into the intricate teach
, intricateness, interest Idon't know the word when I'm
(03:45):
getting into the details of mylove language.
I Wouldn't hold you to.
I Wouldn't hold you to, I guess, the languages of love that
that can be there, like I'mgonna take into consideration
(04:06):
Inconsistency and stuff likethat there's.
There are some things thatmight sound negative.
That's gonna be more my lovelanguage, my love language.
I know that you will every day.
You ain't going to do this.
I know that every it.
Some days I might not want tosee you at all.
Sometimes I might want to.
(04:28):
I might have a desire for astranger Like not nothing sexual
, but like strangers arestimulating, like when you
having a conversation you justmeet somebody random and you go
yeah, yeah, y'all just talk andit's like oh, it's a good
conversation.
We don't know nothing abouteach other.
Sometimes, you even expressmore to a stranger than someone
(04:53):
you know.
So there's things that wouldstrengthen my relationship with
somebody I love that have zeroto do with them.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
That falls under that category too, though.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
So it's the same category Of what Affirmation?
Words of affirmation, but youstimulated something when you
talked about like the withdrawal, and that can be a love
language.
It could be a warning as well.
It could be a warning, justlike the what's the one for
(05:25):
gifts like that can be a warningfor somebody who ain't got it.
So there's some things that'sin the language and it might be
out there.
Somebody might have a moredetail that shows the what we
may consider red flags.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
So let me ask you this so because let's just say I
can't give right now, but Ilike to, instead of giving, I
like to help, that's still fallsunder that category, doesn't?
Speaker 2 (05:52):
it give.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
Like like.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
I forgot the yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Yeah, it's still falls under that category of
giving.
You know what I'm saying.
If I know I can't give thatperson this, but I like to help.
Let's just say you're movingand I like to come in and help
out.
Like you know what I'm saying,it's just all falls under that
category.
It's just like that category ofgiving.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
We needed a woman.
She wouldn't know all the words, of course.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
So when we have that interview, yeah, we can have
that conversation.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
You can't let us know that in the comments?
Speaker 3 (06:19):
They got us, they won't put it.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
They can't get this, but I get you.
I don't know.
I think it's, and I'm notsaying your love language.
That's the like.
That's probably gonna be themain one Cause I think you can
probably relate to all of them.
That exists.
But, like I think, the way Iwas brought up right and in the
Haitian household, your momain't telling you I love you
(06:41):
back in the day.
And I ain't talking abouttoday's Haitian parent, I'm
talking about us growing upright, your mama as a kid.
Did she ever come home and belike I love you?
Speaker 3 (06:49):
Then people don't say I love you, I'm giving, but did
you ever hear that?
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Like you know what I'm saying.
So for me, like, so what I'msaying and I'm not saying this
right, but like in my adulthoodI'm not really looking for that
for someone to come by and belike, hey, I love you, hey, I
appreciate it, like I feel likeyour action it was kind of more
of action, I think, as long asthey knew you had a roof over
your head, they put food on thetable, they gave you the best
(07:13):
clothes that they could give youand I'm talking about for folks
who's like, born in the 80s.
I think that's the way of likeyou should know this Like I'm
doing this because I do love you, but they ain't say it.
So I guess for me, like when Icould relate to the love
language is this, because Idon't go around looking for that
but if you the words ofaffirmation, like if you just
let me know, like if I'm go outmy way to do something for you
(07:35):
or I'm just doing what I'm doingand you acknowledge it, you
know what I'm saying I come homewith a new business, a new
venture, a new idea and youlisten and you digest it and
gives me some good feedback onit, like that will mean more to
me than you sitting here tellingme like I love you, oh I care
for you, like you could sit downand we could bust a play
(07:56):
together, like that's a littledifferent from just than I
thought I had.
Or an idea and you helping me,you looking into it and getting
back to me Like that's how I'mrolling, that's why I started
understanding that, oh, this isreally a thing.
Then I also dealt with folkswho, like they just wanna, after
eight o'clock, they wanna getin this bed.
Just hold me, let's watch theTV.
I don't worry about nothing.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
I don't care how much money you got right now.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
None of that is a concern.
If we can find a good movie andyou hold me till I fall asleep,
we good Like that's a realthing.
That's me right now.
You know what I'm saying?
You a?
Speaker 3 (08:30):
cuddler?
No, I'm not a cuddler, my girlis she just yeah, she just yeah,
touch, Touch is the lovelanguage.
You're not a cuddler.
No man, I think I won't.
No, no, no, you look like acuddler.
Well, you, yeah, you look likea cuddler.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
What's funny?
I'm trying to think of that.
I'm interested in you, but I dolook at you like a cuddler.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Yeah, you look like a cuddler.
Well, I'm putting, I'm startingfrom the beginning, like all
the way up, like I can see yourfeet between her feet cuddling
with y'all in a springingposition.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
And you always dress cuddling.
Yeah, you got on the slide, youa cuddler in, a cuddler Like
that's just K for cuddling.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Trying to act like you ain't no cuddler, that's
another thing.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Yeah, I could be cuddling man.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
Oh listen, I'm not a cuddler, but I bet you got a
snuggie.
No, I don't.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
I definitely don't.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Do I want one.
I do want one.
You got to wait at.
Blinkett, I had one, ok, you acuddler, you a cuddler, you a
cuddler, you got a body pillow.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
A body pillow.
Yeah, she got a body pillow.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Now definitely not, that's too funny.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, man.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
That's crazy.
Oh cuddler, you look like acuddler.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Wow, wow, oh man.
I like the concept of lovelanguages.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
They are OK.
The person closer to you isdefinitely going to let you know
what your love, your lovelanguages.
The closest person to you.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
I definitely got that .
Speaker 1 (09:55):
I definitely got that .
I some, and this, this is a meproblem.
I don't like to be given alabel that I ain't really I
ain't really sell on myself.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
OK, so you don't accept nicknames Like like, if
the homies gave you a nickname,all my nicknames didn't come
from me.
Drago was not.
I didn't come up with Drago.
It used to be before.
Drago was D or big D, because Iused to be really really,
really big, I thought nicknamesBig Diego.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Big Diego, big Diego, big Diego, big Diego, big Diego
.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
But yeah, so again, I think nicknames should be given
to you, to me.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
I mean, that's how it was, especially growing up
Right and usually Haitians.
It's on your disability, bro.
Like you had a sleepy eye.
They call you TeeJay, which youknow what I'm saying with me
little eye.
Like they literally picking onyour handicap.
You know what I mean.
So it was like what the heck,they still call you doodoo.
Bro dawg.
(10:59):
It is crazy, man, I'll tell youthat, and I think we kind of
did it when I played football.
The biggest doodoo on the team,we call them tiny.
See I just man, it's crazy.
It's crazy with the nicknames.
But I'm about to say, becauseshoot, what nicknames you got
besides Eric B.
I know I say slab.
That's just because I think Iknow you from that era.
(11:20):
I still say slab sometimes theyused to.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
When I played on a little league football, they
called me water break.
Water break I would take.
I would just go take waterbreaks anytime I was thirsty,
but I didn't know that there wasa time to take water break.
And they was looking for me andI was there, was like where you
was?
I was like I want to get somewater.
(11:43):
They were like you don't go,get no water, water break.
This was the coach star.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
He on a water break.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Go take a little go take a little.
So last night everybody startedcalling me water break Because
I was this literally.
It was literally Dairy Rocks.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Oh, you play for the Rocks.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Yeah, yeah they kind of transcended over into like
school to people that were likethe other football players that
went to the school.
They would call me water, breakthrough the hallways and stuff.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
At the LA.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
No, this was on middle school.
Yeah, so this was middle school.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Okay, I'm about to say Okay, water break, water
break.
Wow, look at that, water breakyeah their names are supposed to
be given.
So Drago.
Why Drago from DA?
Why Drago?
Speaker 3 (12:31):
Because it was close to.
Okay, I'm going to put it outthere.
Sorry, X's, it is what it is.
Drago was from an ex-girlfriendand she was calling me Drago
because I was.
I used to be in school, beatingon tables, bathroom doors,
whatever, so Dra, Dr.
(12:53):
Dra was the biggest thing, ofcourse, at the time, and the
government is Diego, so why notreplace the I with the R?
She said Drago, why don't wejust call you Drago?
And I'm like, oh shit, thatshould sound hard.
So we just went with Drago.
So it's a set of DA.
Go with the I.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
You just shut out the dreams.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
Yeah, exactly, so I'm going to produce, I'll make
beats.
Started to make beats in highschool.
They called me Drago, so I waslike, okay, that shit went hard
and I just stuck with it.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
If I was to talk about my love, language and
association to relationshipsthrough the ways of internet,
social media.
We met so many peoplethroughout the years, like, I
(13:46):
think, about all the people thatI've met over time through the
internet, some that I didn't see, or whatever the case may be.
When I came here into thisworld it was very small.
The world felt so tiny, right,and everybody was around you.
Then you opened up the internetand now there's people I know
(14:07):
in other countries.
I've seen them have kids.
I've seen so much growth in you, knowing a lot, a lot of people
.
You're having a lot ofrelationships and then it kind
of affects you in a way to whereyou miss more than you can
(14:31):
actually have access to.
I guess I don't know what I wastrying to say with that.
I don't have the words for itbecause, it's not something we
necessarily address as adiscussion, but knowing so many
(14:54):
people through the internet forso many years on top of the
people you know physically, thepeople that you know online,
people I've known for like sevenyears I only know they handle.
I only know them by the time Isee them.
That's what I know them as, butI know them just as well as a
(15:16):
person I might have went to highschool with.
I might know more about themthan I know about a cousin.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Yeah, I'm with you.
I've got about 15 year plusrelationships from people that I
met on the internet and we'vestayed in contact from social
media.
We even got each other numbers.
We don't talk as much, ofcourse everyone's grown, got
kids, but we do check in on eachother from time to time, from
(15:44):
birthdays or holidays.
It's just super cool to havethat.
You know, they seem like someof them, you know, depending on
how you could tell when someoneaddresses me, you know what they
met me, what time of the lifethey met me and, yeah, it goes
that far back and that isamazing and I do cherish that,
because I've met people inreality who probably wasn't as
(16:04):
loyal or done shady things thatmade you want to keep your
distance, not communicate withthose individuals anymore.
But these people that I didn'teven have a chance to meet in
person some of them, but some ofthem are made in person but we
got the best relationships andthey always supported me from
day one and to now.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
This mess up my love language because I can go back
to people and I have, like this,these nostalgic memories of
people Like there was a girl Ionce worked with.
She ended up committing suicidebut I still remember her from
(16:42):
the mind space.
Days Like now think how longago that was, but I still
remember her.
Obviously she committed suicide.
That was sad, but I think abouther.
I know people that have hadkids.
I can remember pictures thatthey may have posted.
One time I was on Instagram andI was going back through people
I had known to somebody, olderpictures Like just going down
(17:08):
memory lane and like going likeoh, this is a picture I remember
.
This is when I met you.
Oh, you look like this and youthinking about these people.
If anybody out there wonderingif people you knew from the
internet think about you, peopledo be thinking about people.
You miss some of theserelationships of internet people
(17:31):
.
They are very, very real andsometimes people check in on you
and you'd be like wait, peoplereally checking in on you from
your internet relationships Likeyou.
On a mind like these, itexpands sometimes further than
what's like right in proximityof you.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Right in proximity.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
Music does that for me, Like if I sing, let me see
your monkey shawty spread.
I know exactly where I was,where I heard it.
I know all the events I wasdoing.
I heard it.
You know what I'm saying.
Music does that for me.
I know what you mean when yousay that.
(18:17):
Trust me.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
It messed up.
I can say it messed up, my lovelanguage.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
Which one?
Because we have multiple.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
What messed up the internet relationships.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Yeah, the internet relationships.
It messed up my love languagebecause I have situations where
I'm right there with a person,but then I might be thinking
about somebody from the internet, not even in an inappropriate
way, but like a friend, likegoing.
The profile may come up.
(18:49):
I might click on a personprofile just to see what they're
doing.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Why are you with the other person?
Speaker 1 (18:56):
Yeah, I've done that before.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
I mean, yeah, one day I think there's a time and a
place for that.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
I'm saying that the internet affected my love
language.
So yeah, I agree with youthere's a time and a place for
that.
But I'm telling you what I haveto do.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
That's what you wanted to do.
In that moment I thought ofthis.
Something compelled me.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
I might go to the bathroom.
Sometimes you take a bathroomyou doodling and then you're
scrolling through and then yousee a profile of a friend or
somebody you know.
You click on a page.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
No, that's cool.
I mean, once again, you're notin that.
I don't know who you are around.
Depending on their status, Ican see how that can cause some
conflict, to say the least.
Yeah, yeah, not.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
If I'm being honest, it caused conflict because these
are real relationships, theseare real people.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
These are real memories.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
So it's like a, it's another domain that is separate
from you and we try to pretendlike it's not so real,
especially for us, because weremember before social media.
So you're kind of acting likeit ain't a threat.
(20:18):
But then you, as time goes on,you're like wait, these
relationships online can be athreat.
But we came in, oh, theinternet, just internet, my
space, my face did it.
Facebook, facebook.
Like you, you're not expectingwhat you're saying there to
actually you get in trouble forit, like when I was in a
(20:42):
relationship and girls commentand I'm like man, it just comes.
Like the insecurities.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
Oh, I like to say the insecurities.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Yeah, the insecurities, I understand that.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
The thoughts real, the heart, emojis real, the
winky eyes, definitely real.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Even the emojis are real.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
right, yeah, what you left on the, what you put on
the heart picture, what, yeah,but I was able to lie and act
like it wasn't real, but thatbenefited me.
Now fast forward to now.
I miss some of these people.
The memories are real, theassociations are real, the
interactions are real, the DMsare real.
(21:20):
No, no the sharing of secretsand problems and issues.
All those are real and you'd belike I got these memories, I
got this, this, this baggage.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
This is going to affect my love language going
forward, so do you think let'sjust say when you get in a
serious relationship, let's saywhen you are.
Do you think, well, I'm notsaying it.
Do you think you will stillhave a struggle?
Now, let's say you meetsomebody, right, you with
somebody.
And now you, you already havethis great relationships you
have with people on the internet, for example.
(21:53):
You don't hang with them everyday, but you probably messes
each other and have greatdialogue in the DM or inbox,
whatever.
So is that always going to be achallenge?
Or do you think eventually youmight have to minimize the
internet friends, like they'regoing to have to play a backseat
, backseat.
I'm talking about the schoolbus.
You know the one-seater all theway in the back.
(22:13):
Why?
Why?
The new persons in theforefront with you?
Do you think you're going tohave to choose ever?
Or you, it's able, you're ableto balance both.
It's just depending onprioritizing.
And hey, if I'm with you, I'mdoing this, if I'm not with you,
I can't stroll and have a goodtime as well.
It's more than just a podcast.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
It's exposure you, you, you, you, you, you, you,
(26:35):
you, you, you, you, you, you,you, you, you, you, you, you,
(32:35):
you, you, you, you, you, you,you, you, you, you, you, you,
(38:35):
you, you, you, you, you, you,you, you, you, you, you, you,
(44:20):
you, you, you, you, you, you you.
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