December 5, 2024 • 29 mins
Have you ever felt the pressure to give the perfect holiday gift without breaking the bank? Join Shay Cook and Vanessa McNelley as they unravel the complex and often stressful relationship between holiday gift-giving and financial balance. Drawing from 2 Corinthians 9:7, they emphasize giving from the heart rather than out of obligation. They share personal anecdotes of navigating holiday traditions and the emotional tug-of-war between lavish and meaningful gift-giving. This episode is packed with reflections on the nostalgia of childhood holiday catalogs and the commercial influences that shape our perceptions of the "perfect" holiday season.
Listen in as we explore the profound impact small gifts can have, often eclipsing their more extravagant counterparts. With personal stories ranging from abundant Christmases to those with a singular, cherished gift, we highlight the true spirit of the holidays: heartfelt generosity over materialism. Vanessa shares a touching story about a small, thoughtful gift during a lonely Christmas that underscores the deep emotional impact of genuine giving. We reflect on the values passed down through our families and how they mold our holiday traditions, sometimes making it difficult to transition between different styles of celebration.
The episode also shines a light on the power of small acts of kindness and the ripple effects they create. From sharing a simple Christmas card with a neighbor to unexpectedly receiving support during tough times, these moments can transform lives. We dive into the concept of paying it forward, suggesting that the value of a gift is in the intention and love behind it, not its price tag. As family gatherings loom, we advocate for setting realistic expectations and savoring the unique moments each celebration brings, reminding ourselves to appreciate the love and effort at the heart of every holiday gathering.
💸⛪🕍📿💵
Our podcast is proudly sponsored by Crusaders for Change, LLC (C4C) and hosted by our CEO and Founder, Mrs. Shay Cook. At C4C, we provide customized corporate financial wellness programs for businesses, government agencies, and nonprofit organizations. Our services are tailored to create happier, healthier, and more productive work environments. We also empower individuals and couples to overcome debt, improve their credit, boost savings, and more. Ready to learn more about how C4C can impact your life? Contact us today at https://www.crusaders4change.org/!
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Music by:
Lamonte Silver - Owner of essentialmusicclub.com | Previously by ROA - roa-music.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Shay (00:03):
Ever felt those awkward vibes when religion and money
come up?
You're not alone.
Welcome to Yahweh's Money, thepodcast where we tackle the
crossroads of faith and finance.
I'm Shay Cook, an AccreditedFinancial Counselor, and the CEO
and founder of Crusaders forChange LLC.
Vanessa (00:19):
And I'm Vanessa McNelley, Accredited Financial
Counselor and COO of Crusadersfor Change.
Join us on our journey as wediscuss topics like tithing,
saving, and conquering debtthrough religious perspectives.
Let's get started.
Shay (00:35):
Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Yahweh's
Money.
I can't believe it, Vanessa,but the holidays are almost here
, are you?
Speaker 3 (00:44):
really Like I I don't even know what to say to that
Like I feel like it was almostlike Christmas yesterday last
year.
Seriously, I know.
Shay (00:54):
Right, this year flew by.
I mean, I don't know if it'sbecause we get older, but they
don't seem.
They seem, oh my God, every day, it's just every year.
2024 is almost over.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
I know, I know my aunt always tells me that a year
feels like five months to her.
Shay (01:11):
Oh.
So maybe it's an age thing,Maybe, Maybe.
I wonder how it feels for my92-year-old grandmother.
You need to ask her, I knowWell, we're back y'all, and the
holiday season is a time forgiving.
But how much is too much?
In today's episode, Vanessa andI are tackling the question do
(01:32):
we overdo it during the holiday?
Yeah, Many of us feel thepressure to give the perfect
gifts, host amazing gatheringsand make everything picture
perfect, but sometimes it comesat the cost of our finances and
peace.
That part over and over right.
Let's explore how to find abalance between generous giving
(01:55):
and being good stewards of theresources God has entrusted to
us.
Second Corinthians 9, 7 sayseach one must give as he has
decided in his heart, notreluctantly or under compulsion,
For God loves a cheerful giver.
This basically tells us to givewith the right heart and
(02:16):
attitude, not out of guilt orpressure during the holidays.
Oh my God, Holidays is real.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
It really is, and we do feel that pressure and that
guilt, especially when somebodygives you a gift that you
weren't planning on giving agift that part.
I know my mom used to alwayskeep like two or three extra
gifts that were wrapped andready to go.
Oh my god, and like there waslike a lady's gift and a man's
gift oh, wow like yeah, so ifsomebody gave her something,
(02:44):
it's like, oh, oh, yes, I havesomething for you too, and you
know you're like, okay, you'regiving them socks and lotion Yay
, that's wonderful.
But it was like she always knewsomebody was going to give her
something that you know shewasn't prepared to give back.
Shay (02:58):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
Oh my gosh.
Shay (03:09):
You're there.
There is that pressure.
There is that pressure therereally is.
And I just, I don't like givinggifts anymore.
But we can talk about thatbecause in the word on this,
this scripture, it says a givingattitude is more important than
the amount to giving.
The person who can give only asmall gift shouldn't be
embarrassed.
Ooh, we were just talking aboutthat.
God is concerned about how aperson gives from his or her
resources, as we stated,according to the standard of
giving in the Macedonianchurches in the world is
(03:29):
difficult to match.
God himself is a cheerful giver.
Consider all he has done for us.
He is pleased when we, who arecreated in his image, give
generously and joyfully.
So do you have a difficult timeletting go of your money?
It may reflect ungratefulnessto God.
We kind of talked about that inthe last episode.
But yeah, this gift givingthing is real and holidays I
(03:52):
mean, it just gets like thepressure, like we said, gets
worse.
Because you see, if you watchcommercials which I don't, but
you hear it on the radio I juststay away because I'm a glutton
man.
If I see a commercial about acleaning supply, I just stay
away Cause I'm a I'm a gluttonman, if I see a commercial about
a cleaning supply, I'm buyingit.
So I know not to watch,especially around the holidays.
So yeah, and these kids areflooded with commercials on
(04:13):
YouTube and TikTok.
Oh my God, no wonder they'recrazy Like I want this, I want
this, I want this.
It's like oh my God, get a job.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Yeah, exactly, Do you remember getting like the Sears
catalog and you know, everyyear you'd sit down and you
could like go through the Searscatalog and you could make your
list for Santa Claus.
And it's like now, it's justlike that's on steroids.
Shay (04:32):
Girl.
I got an Amazon catalog theother day and I was sitting at a
table like oh my God, and theyput in their adult stuff and
kids stuff and I was like mydaughter's like throw that thing
away.
I can't believe.
Amazon sent me a catalog forthe holidays.
So, yes, Sears catalog was real, JCPenney, I remember that.
Yes, Kmart Well, all those hadlike their different like flyers
Even I get to, I don't know why, Cause I think it's my husband
(04:54):
buy bourbon at the NEX.
We get NEX Naval Exchange.
For those that don't understand, we get a catalog for them for
the holidays.
And it's this big.
Literally it's not even eightby 12.
It's like huge and it's all.
I was like, oh my God, y'allneed to go somewhere.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
I want to get one of those, just to flip through it
and dream that's what I want.
Shay (05:14):
Well, yeah, really, or be depressed, right, I miss all
that stuff.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
But you know, that brings us like to the next point
of this and it's like there ispower in small gifts.
Shay (05:24):
Yes, there is.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
And I think people don't think about this often
enough.
But you don't have to giveeverybody this amazing, huge
gift like being thoughtful andjust remembering someone that is
huge, huge, huge, huge.
Sometimes those small giftsmake the biggest difference.
It doesn't have to be a lavishgift, yeah, and I know like in
(05:45):
my past some of my favoritegifts that I've received have
been the ones that have justbeen thoughtful and from the
heart and have like either takentime or just some, you know,
some effort put into it, versussomeone saying here you go,
here's a hundred dollar giftcard to Amazon.
You know that there's no thoughtor love put into that, it's
just, you know, taking yourcredit card and swiping.
(06:07):
But you know when you take sometime and you put some thought
into this.
Like I love when I get, likehome homemade baked goods from
people, especially people whoknow what I really love yeah,
Because I don't keep a lot ofthat at home and I do crave
sweets constantly, especiallyduring the holidays, so I love
getting those things.
I love getting, you know, a $5Starbucks card to go get a
(06:30):
coffee, because that's it's solike it's just the sweetest gift
to me to be able to go and saythis coffee is from so-and-so.
Shay (06:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
I love those little things and those mean so much
more to me than those big things.
Shay (06:44):
I love that.
My neighbors in my last houseused to give us cookies and
stuff and I don't think theylisten to this podcast and if
they do, I forgive me.
But we were getting up and myhusband was like we don't know
where those people's hands beenat all.
He's one of those likegermaphobes.
In that kind of way I'm like Iwould always eat one because I
(07:10):
didn't want to lie, but then Iwould be like praying to god,
like oh my god, I hope I don'tdie or get sick because you
don't know how people in theirhouses are, and uh, but um, but
yeah, I love that too.
You know, it's funny.
I have a story when I'm nate andI I think I might have shared
this, but nate and I were datingmy parents had given me were
going to get me a stereo, likeone of those boom box kind of
stereo, but the two big speakerswith the CD changer.
(07:31):
This was 1999.
Like I mean, he had the fivedisc changer and everything and
I was so excited about thatRight.
And so my husband gave me thisbeautiful gold cross necklace
and when he gave it to me I waslike all right, thank you.
Now onto my, my other gift, my,like, my better gift, or I
(07:52):
don't remember what I say.
My husband remembers to thisday, 20 some years later.
He remembers Cause he was like,oh my God, like.
Okay, now onto, the gift ofwhatever I said was very
insulting, even when I thinkabout it.
Like I was like, oh my god,like.
And the funny thing is when wegot married this is before we
even got married when we gotmarried, they shipped the stereo
to Germany and they stole the,the speakers.
(08:14):
But I still have that necklace.
So it's like wow, it's like so,because I was trained that
bigger, better, like, morelavish is the best.
Yeah, like you don't get smallgifts where I, where I want my
family, like they never.
They were all about packing,stacking the tree with thousands
(08:34):
of gifts.
Like it was crazy, like we weresome spoiled behind kids we
definitely grew up in differenthouseholds that is for sure,
yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
I know yeah, I think I was telling you earlier I
literally would get something towear.
We would get like, and on topof that, underwear, socks, and
then we get like something fun,and then we get a stocking.
But I will tell you, thestocking usually had things that
came from the gas station on mydad's way home from work that
night, um, that he forgot totake the price tags off of oh my
god, yeah, yeah, it was likegashed.
(09:05):
You know, gas station, littletrinkets yeah um, and it was
like santa doesn't go to the gasstation to get his stuff, you
know, um, but it was always sofunny to like know that this is,
you know, all this stuff's fromthe gas station, um, but yeah,
so that was like our christmasevery year.
So I don't know what theseelaborate christmases are like.
I got a lot of them.
Oh, I think I would just beoverwhelmed completely with that
(09:25):
.
Just I wouldn't know what to do.
I mean, I've gotten some nicegifts from my family Don't get
me wrong, but there was alwayslike a number.
It was like you never went overthree or four gifts total.
Yeah, yeah, which I think is agood rule, honestly, to to have
like a specific number of thingsso nobody gets more than the
other or feels like they'regetting left out or whatever
(09:46):
there is yeah, exactly yeah,after I started my family with
my husband, like he was notabout that life.
Shay (09:52):
He's like we're not doing a bunch of gifts, we're not
getting all dressed up onChristmas because I would like
get Alana all dressed up inthese brand new pajamas and take
pictures.
He's like we ain't about thatlife.
She get a couple, she get a fewgifts Cause you know,
especially as kids are growingup, you'll get like I remember
giving Alana a lot of stuff ormy family center and a lot of
stuff and she would play withthat one thing or she'll play
with the box.
You always hear that story.
(10:12):
Alana was one of those kids.
She would play with the boxbefore she played with her gifts
.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
And kids get so much stuff and they can't even
comprehend.
Yeah exactly, exactly.
So, it is.
It's really hard to you know,to, I'm sure, to go from from
one extreme to the other.
Vanessa (10:29):
On either end of that.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
Exactly.
But we also have to rememberthat whatever we give, it needs
to come from our heart, and Godcan take that and he can
multiply it in ways that wecannot even understand.
So that's like a huge thing.
We need to remember that.
You know, we may give somethingthat in our minds is so
insignificant, but to someoneelse it can mean everything.
(10:51):
I remember three Christmasesago I was spending my Christmas
alone.
I was in Puerto Rico workingand it was just me and my little
dog.
And I remember my one of myneighbors came over Christmas
Eve with a little package for meand she knew that I love coffee
and she gave me this gift.
She said open it tomorrowmorning.
So I did open my one gift.
(11:11):
My dad didn't even send meanything that Christmas and I
opened my one gift and it wasthe cutest little pink coffee
mug with flamingos all over itand it was the sweetest thing.
It was that and some homemadepeach cake.
Vanessa (11:25):
That she put in there.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
So, you know, I'm sitting there on Christmas by
myself and I'm as happy as canbe because it's like I have this
sweet treat I love sweets and Ihave my cute little coffee mug
and I make coffee to put in itand I am just enjoying my at
home, alone Christmas.
So much because this one persontook a couple of minutes to wrap
something small for me Wow, andshe will never, ever know what
(11:48):
that meant to me that day,because she has no clue.
That was the only present thatI got that year, oh, wow.
So we need to be really mindfulof these things, that these
small things can make such adifference, such a difference I
know, growing up, something thatwe did as I was a young adult
and still try to do it as oftenas I can today is my mother, my
niece and I, instead of buyinggifts for each other, we would
(12:11):
go shopping on one of thoseangel trees at one of the stores
for elderly people who were innursing homes.
Oh, wow, and it was always.
It always put things intoperspective because of their
wants.
Most of the time it was grippysocks.
They wanted, yeah, handkerchiefsfor men, because they wanted to
have their you know, their cutelittle pocket handkerchief like
(12:33):
they used to have Older ladieslike baby dolls, especially when
they were going through somekind of you know Alzheimer's or
dementia, because it remindedthem of being a mother and
having their baby with them.
And it was these small things.
I remember my mom, my niece andI even when my niece was two
and three years old we had somuch fun going out together and
(12:54):
putting together these littlegift bags for these people.
We had no clue who they were,but we got to spend a lot of
time together.
It cost a whole lot less,honestly, than what gifts would
have been for both of them, andwe just got to enjoy the day and
make these memories with eachother.
I love that, yeah, so and I wasblessed so much from those small
(13:14):
times, and we have to remembertoo that this frees us up from
the pressure to give big and todo it all.
If we remember that there is somuch of that power in those
small gifts and we can rememberwhat that does for someone else.
Because I think that's thebiggest thing.
Is that pressure?
I mean just like you were saying.
You know from your childhoodand growing up in a family that
(13:35):
gave so much.
There's that pressure there tocompete with that and to outdo
and to to overdo, and you know,that's what you know, so that's
what you strive for.
Vanessa (13:46):
Yeah, and you know so.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
so what do you do when you don't anymore, and how
do you feel when you don'tanymore?
I'm sure there's that, thatinside pressure that's like I'm
not doing enough.
Shay (13:56):
Exactly, or that you know there's all this debt that comes
with it.
I mean, let's talk about thefinancial demand.
Ooh Lord, I mean, from what Iremember, my parents struggle
with that for the credit.
They put everything on creditor they use their dividends when
we lived in Alaska, as I saidearlier, and it was just
(14:16):
irresponsible to me.
Now that I look back, it's veryirresponsible and that's what
my husband was trying to to me.
Now, when I look back, it'svery irresponsible and that's
what my husband was trying toteach me.
Like you know, we all thesethings first of all, alana's not
going to remember, because Iwas doing it for her trying to
replicate for her.
she's like not gonna rememberthis mess and the big, the best
Christmases we have has beenabout the experience, like the
house that we were in or theplace that we lived or when we
(14:38):
went to Disney World or Hawaiior whatever.
Like those experiences, likewhen we did those trips we
didn't give gifts because thegifts was the trip, right, and
the experience and the beautifulpictures and all the memories
we were to create.
But yeah, you know, seeing ourfamily continue to do that, I'm
just like I'm gonna age now Idon't care, but when I was
younger I did and I felt like Iwasn't enough or didn't do
(15:01):
enough and you know there wasshame that came from them, like
why you didn't do all this forAlana, you know, when my child
she's still growing up, she's 24, but almost.
But you know she's notexpecting all of that and so if
never she has kids, she's notgoing to do that, cause she
knows experiences are more andthe small thing matters, right.
And I know, just seeing myneighbor's face, just the joy
(15:25):
that came from them when I gavethem a Christmas card.
I mean they were so shocked bythat because we were new to the
neighborhood and I just wantedto, you know, give them a little
bit of joy, and they were soshocked by that.
So those little things reallymatter.
You know, generosity reallycreates a ripple effect.
Small acts of giving can haveripple effects that we never see
(15:46):
.
Like, excuse me, like Vanessa,like you said, when that lady
gave you that mug and that peachcake, which sounds so good, it
was delicious.
I mean she didn't even know whatshe, like you, said what she
was doing and that's sobeautiful.
You know, or like when Nate andI were really struggling in
Germany, I think it was Alana'sfirst Christmas.
She turned one, she was born inDecember and I don't know if it
(16:09):
was Airman Relief Society orsomebody came over with gifts.
We were picked, as you know, wewere struggling military family
and they came in cooking allthese great gifts for Alana.
I and I'll never forget thatbecause you know they really
cared about their servicemembers and so those small acts
really really matter.
And you know, yeah, it's greatto give great big gifts, to
(16:31):
expensive gifts if you can, butpeople just want to be seen,
they want to be loved and theywant to feel that joy and all
times it's just showing up witha cup and some peach cake is all
you need to do exactly, yeah,yeah, and you know, and they
want to be remembered.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
I think that's the biggest thing, too is they want
to know that someone has takenthe time to think of them and to
make sure that they areremembered that day.
Shay (17:00):
Yeah, like I said, be seen Exactly, exactly, you know, and
imagine if your gift leadsanother to helping or your
donation helps fund a project orsomething even greater.
You know, when I uh one of myolder churches um, it's the same
church but they've done mergedand became something else but at
five I five, I used every, used, every year my daughter, I
would participate in thechristmas giving function event
(17:23):
where we would go out to lowerincome neighborhoods and give
gifts and you know money.
And I'll never forget one yearmy husband was going into giant,
a local grocery store, and hecame across two 100 bills and we
we are not this weird, we're soI don't even know what to call
(17:44):
us.
I guess we're so goody, twoshoes.
He was like I just found it to$100 bills.
I was like, oh shoot, and mostpeople I'm not saying most
people, some people would havebeen like oh, yay, we were like,
no, I called the store.
I was like it's, anybodyreported the money missing.
No, we literally were going backto John like asking them over
and over, and then we were likeNate's, like I'm not keeping
this money.
I'm like no, we are so blessed.
I mean, yes, we could have usedthat money.
(18:04):
We're like nope Cause it justfelt wrong.
So we gave a hundred dollars toone of the people at the through
the church and then I gave wethat was actually the year in
2018, we went to Hawaii and Igave my brother and his family a
hundred dollar bill and I justfelt like God was blessing us
and trying to see what we woulddo with this and I'm like we're
not keeping this for ourselves,we're giving this away because
we weren't expecting it, and Ijust don't feel right.
(18:25):
When I find money, I'm stillone of those people like oh my
God, I found $5.
I always give that money awaywhen I find something
no-transcript for Christmasgifts, you know and it's just
(18:47):
like oh my God.
So, but yeah, it's just nobodyyou don't know.
And then being able to fund andgive help people is where it's
at.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
Exactly yeah, and you can give in ways that really
does kind of spread that lovetoo, which is an amazing thing
you know and, like you said, youdon't even know half the time,
like what's going to come of itor what's going to happen, and
that's not for us to knowhonestly but it's, it's amazing
to kind of think about, like,what that could do for someone
(19:15):
else someone else who reallyneeds it, like, could that keep
their lights on?
this month, you know, feed theirfamily?
Could that, you know, give thema Christmas that they weren't
going to have before?
So there's so many blessingsthat can come out of that.
Shay (19:28):
And God uses our willingness to give, no matter
the size, to bless others.
So I know just every, like yousaid, he knows when he and I
find some money or we have anopportunity to give, we're going
to give, and so he continues tobless us in that way, so we can
continue to give and keep thatcycle going.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
Right, yep, and we should all strive to be like
that too.
Yeah, exactly, and have thatwillingness, and really that is
what holidays are about.
Yeah, you know, we've gotteninto this societal thing where
it's all about spending moneyand more and more and more, and
this picture perfect day, andthat's not the real meaning of
this.
And we have to take a secondsometimes and step back and say,
(20:08):
okay, what is the reality ofthis and what are they telling
me?
Shay (20:12):
What are they telling you?
This is supposed to be about.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
I think we forget about that a lot of times.
So we really need to just takea second sometimes and say, okay
, let me get back to where it'ssupposed to be and it's all
about, you know, kind ofbringing things out for other
people and really helping them.
So you know, and then when wegive um, you know we need to
move in faith and know that Godwill multiply our efforts.
(20:35):
And we're talking about thesmaller gifts again with that.
So you know, it may be you finda hundred dollars and you give
that to someone who really needsit.
Well, maybe a hundred dollarsis not what they needed.
Vanessa (20:48):
They needed $75 to make it work this month.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
So they have 25 extra dollars.
Yeah, and they're in just thisplace of such, you know, just
peace and happiness that theywant to give to somebody else.
And pay it forward, you know,and it really it can grow, and
it can multiply, and it canchange somebody's whole outlook.
And it can change their lives.
Shay (21:09):
Yeah, like I said, don't give more.
Give from your heart.
You know God, yeah, he's justwant to see where your heart's
at and I love that.
Yeah, Paying it for it.
I love when you get in thelines back in the day.
When I go through thedrive-thru I try to cook more
now, but you know, andsomebody's like your food's
already been paid, and so thenyou're like, all right, well,
I'll pay for the other person.
(21:34):
But I mean you want to keepthat going and I love that, that
trend, or just being able to bea part of that five and they
give 20, you know, so we cankeep it moving.
You never know, yeah never,know Exactly.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
You know, and God doesn't measure the size of your
gift.
He measures the willingness togive, and that's something we
have to remember too.
So, even if you find yourselfin this place where you can only
give a dollar or two, or youknow you can only, you know,
spare two things out of yourpantry, or whatever it might be,
or however you might give, ifyou are willingly giving that
(22:04):
with a happy heart.
God sees that and that's whathe's looking for.
He's looking for people who areso happy and so in love with
him that that is their joy inlife is to give and help others
because they feel so blessed.
Shay (22:19):
Yes, amen.
And don't compare your gifts toothers, right?
Because I know I struggled withthe envy back in the day,
especially with gifts and seeingcoming in family parties or
Christmas gatherings and, likeyou know, all the cousins are
bragging about what they got.
You know, and I guess weprobably were one of them, since
our parents was gettingeverything, including one
Christmas where we got the new,the first Nintendo ever, and my
(22:41):
mom bought 15 games to go withthat Nintendo and she used to
try to hide stuff down in thebasement in Alaska and we always
knew what she was giving us.
So I'll never forget 15Nintendo games.
I only remember playing like kidIcarus and Mario and all those,
but I was like I was thinkingother days like Icarus and Mario
and all those, but I was like Iwas thinking other days like I
don't even remember, but liketwo or three of those games, but
(23:04):
yeah, she, she used to just goall out.
So you know, obviously there'ssomething going on there with
her prior, with her backstoryand her family, um, but so who
knows what my family wasprobably like comparing to us,
because we had so much, eventhough you know there was the
financial piece, theirresponsible financial piece
with it, but try not to comparegifts.
(23:25):
This can be hard for somepeople, but you know God gives
you what you need and you shouldbe grateful for that Exactly.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
And I'll tell you, for most of my Christmas
experiences, the most expensivegift has never been my favorite.
I don't know about you, butit's usually not my favorite, so
just remember that when you'retrying to compare.
Shay (23:43):
Yeah, I have to think back on that Cause I'm thinking back
on the stereo that I wastalking about earlier.
That was a great gift, but itwasn't the gift Like that cross
gold necklace was, and that manthat gave it to me that was the
best gift I've ever had.
So, yeah, I have to do someself-reflection and see about
that.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Yeah, exactly I know.
Last year was my very firstChristmas with my boyfriend and
he gave me, so we didn't do ahuge Christmas last year and
we're not going to do anotherhuge Christmas this year.
But last year he gave mesomething.
I don't even think he knew atthe time when he purchased it
what it would mean to me.
I'm probably going to crytalking about it, but he gave me
something I don't even think heknew at the time when he
purchased it what it would meanto me.
I'm probably going to crytalking about it, but he gave me
a box of Marzipan candy.
Oh, and that was my mother'sfavorite candy, oh God, and it
meant so much to me that hewould give me something that he
(24:34):
didn't even know was my mom'sfavorite.
Shay (24:36):
What he just knew.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
Oh, I was going to say, oh, look at him listening
to you, oh wow.
He knew I talked about Mars,apollo and all these things but
um, and he knew Germany was likemy thing and all this stuff,
but that to me meant more to melast year than anything else.
So those little things mattermore than you know, that's crazy
.
You got a good one there.
Shay (24:59):
You know, we're hosting our first huge family Christmas
gathering this year and, man,it's hard not to compare to all
of the 20, 30, 40 years ofgatherings that have been going
on, like trying to compete withthat.
And my husband told my aunt anduncle a couple of weeks ago at
my brother's retirement that youguys need to set your
(25:20):
expectations very, very, verylow.
You guys need to set yourexpectations very, very, very
low.
She's like what she's like, no,he's like.
What I want you to do is makesure your expectations are
standard and low.
So, whatever we do, it'll begood, Because people are going
to come in thinking it shouldhave been like on Sherry's way.
But everybody's had thesedifferent gatherings and done
great things.
(25:40):
But sometimes they've been ahit or miss.
Sometimes they have so muchfood it's overwhelming and then
it's not good, or the list goeson of good and bad things.
So I don't want to compare eventhe experience.
We're saying don't compare yourgifts to others, Don't even
compare your experience.
If you're going to host a party, do it to the best of your
ability.
Don't try to, like my daughter,say don't do too much.
(26:03):
You're doing too much Cause I'mlike, Ooh, we can get
specialized ornaments we canhave.
I want to do like a KardashianChristmas.
I want to have snow coming downthe foyer.
She's like no stop.
I'm like, yeah, you're right,You're right, and plus I'm not
trying to go broke.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
I see the money flying right now.
Shay (26:28):
So I haven't done any of that and I'm trying to go to
black uh, black Friday sales andget the some you know stuff
there and make sure we don'tspend too much.
But all right, well, I'm goingto wrap with this Whittles
offering story.
So I think Mark 12, 41 through44 sums today's episode.
Well, it says Jesus sat downopposite the place where the
offerings were put and watchedthe crowd putting their money
into the temple treasury.
Many rich people threw in largeamounts but a poor widow came
(26:52):
and put in two very small coppercoins worth only a few cents.
Calling his disciples to him,jesus said truly, I tell you,
this poor widow has put moreinto the treasury than all the
others.
They all gave out of theirwealth but she, out of her
poverty, put in everything allshe had to live on.
(27:16):
Wow, I don't know if I could dothat.
That's faith, amen.
Any other follow-up thoughtsother than that's faith?
Speaker 3 (27:26):
yeah, you know I I talk about this every year, but
my grandfather grew up in thedepression and on good years he
would get an orange, and if wecompare what we get yearly to
his hopeful gift of getting anorange every year, I think we're
doing okay.
I love that.
And I think, if we're able togive that.
You know I think we're doingokay.
(27:47):
So just remember that, if youcan, can put yourself in that
place to where getting an orangeis an amazing Christmas.
I think we're doing good.
Shay (27:58):
When you told me that story, I was going to give my
nieces and nephews oranges, andmy daughter's like do you want
to do that?
I say, do it.
Yeah, with the upside of Iwould still give them their gift
, but I just want to see theirfaces and see their reactions.
So like, yeah, like everybody'sgetting orange this year, maybe
I'll do that for the Christmasparty.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
Like, everybody got an orange in a paper sack.
Shay (28:21):
Yeah, orange in a paper sack, wow Well, hey, everyone.
Thank you for joining us foranother episode.
Hope you have a wonderful day.
A big thank you for listeningto this episode.
We hope you found today's chatabout the intersection of
religion and money insightful.
We would love to hear yourfeedback.
Hit that subscribe button orfollow the podcast and please
(28:43):
feel free to leave us a review.
Vanessa (28:45):
Yes, and for the latest Yahweh's Money content, visit
us at www.
crusaders4change.
org or find us anywhere youlisten to podcasts.
Until next time, stayfinancially fit and spiritually
inspired and remember it'salways better Yahweh's way.
Ever felt those awkward vibes when religion and money
come up?
You're not alone.
Welcome to Yahweh's Money, thepodcast where we tackle the
crossroads of faith and finance.
I'm Shay Cook, an AccreditedFinancial Counselor, and the CEO
and founder of Crusaders forChange LLC.
Vanessa (00:19):
And I'm Vanessa McNelley, Accredited Financial
Counselor and COO of Crusadersfor Change.
Join us on our journey as wediscuss topics like tithing,
saving, and conquering debtthrough religious perspectives.
Let's get started.
Shay (00:35):
Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Yahweh's
Money.
I can't believe it, Vanessa,but the holidays are almost here
, are you?
Speaker 3 (00:44):
really Like I I don't even know what to say to that
Like I feel like it was almostlike Christmas yesterday last
year.
Seriously, I know.
Shay (00:54):
Right, this year flew by.
I mean, I don't know if it'sbecause we get older, but they
don't seem.
They seem, oh my God, every day, it's just every year.
2024 is almost over.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
I know, I know my aunt always tells me that a year
feels like five months to her.
Shay (01:11):
Oh.
So maybe it's an age thing,Maybe, Maybe.
I wonder how it feels for my92-year-old grandmother.
You need to ask her, I knowWell, we're back y'all, and the
holiday season is a time forgiving.
But how much is too much?
In today's episode, Vanessa andI are tackling the question do
(01:32):
we overdo it during the holiday?
Yeah, Many of us feel thepressure to give the perfect
gifts, host amazing gatheringsand make everything picture
perfect, but sometimes it comesat the cost of our finances and
peace.
That part over and over right.
Let's explore how to find abalance between generous giving
(01:55):
and being good stewards of theresources God has entrusted to
us.
Second Corinthians 9, 7 sayseach one must give as he has
decided in his heart, notreluctantly or under compulsion,
For God loves a cheerful giver.
This basically tells us to givewith the right heart and
(02:16):
attitude, not out of guilt orpressure during the holidays.
Oh my God, Holidays is real.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
It really is, and we do feel that pressure and that
guilt, especially when somebodygives you a gift that you
weren't planning on giving agift that part.
I know my mom used to alwayskeep like two or three extra
gifts that were wrapped andready to go.
Oh my god, and like there waslike a lady's gift and a man's
gift oh, wow like yeah, so ifsomebody gave her something,
(02:44):
it's like, oh, oh, yes, I havesomething for you too, and you
know you're like, okay, you'regiving them socks and lotion Yay
, that's wonderful.
But it was like she always knewsomebody was going to give her
something that you know shewasn't prepared to give back.
Shay (02:58):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
Oh my gosh.
Shay (03:09):
You're there.
There is that pressure.
There is that pressure therereally is.
And I just, I don't like givinggifts anymore.
But we can talk about thatbecause in the word on this,
this scripture, it says a givingattitude is more important than
the amount to giving.
The person who can give only asmall gift shouldn't be
embarrassed.
Ooh, we were just talking aboutthat.
God is concerned about how aperson gives from his or her
resources, as we stated,according to the standard of
giving in the Macedonianchurches in the world is
(03:29):
difficult to match.
God himself is a cheerful giver.
Consider all he has done for us.
He is pleased when we, who arecreated in his image, give
generously and joyfully.
So do you have a difficult timeletting go of your money?
It may reflect ungratefulnessto God.
We kind of talked about that inthe last episode.
But yeah, this gift givingthing is real and holidays I
(03:52):
mean, it just gets like thepressure, like we said, gets
worse.
Because you see, if you watchcommercials which I don't, but
you hear it on the radio I juststay away because I'm a glutton
man.
If I see a commercial about acleaning supply, I just stay
away Cause I'm a I'm a gluttonman, if I see a commercial about
a cleaning supply, I'm buyingit.
So I know not to watch,especially around the holidays.
So yeah, and these kids areflooded with commercials on
(04:13):
YouTube and TikTok.
Oh my God, no wonder they'recrazy Like I want this, I want
this, I want this.
It's like oh my God, get a job.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Yeah, exactly, Do you remember getting like the Sears
catalog and you know, everyyear you'd sit down and you
could like go through the Searscatalog and you could make your
list for Santa Claus.
And it's like now, it's justlike that's on steroids.
Shay (04:32):
Girl.
I got an Amazon catalog theother day and I was sitting at a
table like oh my God, and theyput in their adult stuff and
kids stuff and I was like mydaughter's like throw that thing
away.
I can't believe.
Amazon sent me a catalog forthe holidays.
So, yes, Sears catalog was real, JCPenney, I remember that.
Yes, Kmart Well, all those hadlike their different like flyers
Even I get to, I don't know why, Cause I think it's my husband
(04:54):
buy bourbon at the NEX.
We get NEX Naval Exchange.
For those that don't understand, we get a catalog for them for
the holidays.
And it's this big.
Literally it's not even eightby 12.
It's like huge and it's all.
I was like, oh my God, y'allneed to go somewhere.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
I want to get one of those, just to flip through it
and dream that's what I want.
Shay (05:14):
Well, yeah, really, or be depressed, right, I miss all
that stuff.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
But you know, that brings us like to the next point
of this and it's like there ispower in small gifts.
Shay (05:24):
Yes, there is.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
And I think people don't think about this often
enough.
But you don't have to giveeverybody this amazing, huge
gift like being thoughtful andjust remembering someone that is
huge, huge, huge, huge.
Sometimes those small giftsmake the biggest difference.
It doesn't have to be a lavishgift, yeah, and I know like in
(05:45):
my past some of my favoritegifts that I've received have
been the ones that have justbeen thoughtful and from the
heart and have like either takentime or just some, you know,
some effort put into it, versussomeone saying here you go,
here's a hundred dollar giftcard to Amazon.
You know that there's no thoughtor love put into that, it's
just, you know, taking yourcredit card and swiping.
(06:07):
But you know when you take sometime and you put some thought
into this.
Like I love when I get, likehome homemade baked goods from
people, especially people whoknow what I really love yeah,
Because I don't keep a lot ofthat at home and I do crave
sweets constantly, especiallyduring the holidays, so I love
getting those things.
I love getting, you know, a $5Starbucks card to go get a
(06:30):
coffee, because that's it's solike it's just the sweetest gift
to me to be able to go and saythis coffee is from so-and-so.
Shay (06:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
I love those little things and those mean so much
more to me than those big things.
Shay (06:44):
I love that.
My neighbors in my last houseused to give us cookies and
stuff and I don't think theylisten to this podcast and if
they do, I forgive me.
But we were getting up and myhusband was like we don't know
where those people's hands beenat all.
He's one of those likegermaphobes.
In that kind of way I'm like Iwould always eat one because I
(07:10):
didn't want to lie, but then Iwould be like praying to god,
like oh my god, I hope I don'tdie or get sick because you
don't know how people in theirhouses are, and uh, but um, but
yeah, I love that too.
You know, it's funny.
I have a story when I'm nate andI I think I might have shared
this, but nate and I were datingmy parents had given me were
going to get me a stereo, likeone of those boom box kind of
stereo, but the two big speakerswith the CD changer.
(07:31):
This was 1999.
Like I mean, he had the fivedisc changer and everything and
I was so excited about thatRight.
And so my husband gave me thisbeautiful gold cross necklace
and when he gave it to me I waslike all right, thank you.
Now onto my, my other gift, my,like, my better gift, or I
(07:52):
don't remember what I say.
My husband remembers to thisday, 20 some years later.
He remembers Cause he was like,oh my God, like.
Okay, now onto, the gift ofwhatever I said was very
insulting, even when I thinkabout it.
Like I was like, oh my god,like.
And the funny thing is when wegot married this is before we
even got married when we gotmarried, they shipped the stereo
to Germany and they stole the,the speakers.
(08:14):
But I still have that necklace.
So it's like wow, it's like so,because I was trained that
bigger, better, like, morelavish is the best.
Yeah, like you don't get smallgifts where I, where I want my
family, like they never.
They were all about packing,stacking the tree with thousands
(08:34):
of gifts.
Like it was crazy, like we weresome spoiled behind kids we
definitely grew up in differenthouseholds that is for sure,
yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
I know yeah, I think I was telling you earlier I
literally would get something towear.
We would get like, and on topof that, underwear, socks, and
then we get like something fun,and then we get a stocking.
But I will tell you, thestocking usually had things that
came from the gas station on mydad's way home from work that
night, um, that he forgot totake the price tags off of oh my
god, yeah, yeah, it was likegashed.
(09:05):
You know, gas station, littletrinkets yeah um, and it was
like santa doesn't go to the gasstation to get his stuff, you
know, um, but it was always sofunny to like know that this is,
you know, all this stuff's fromthe gas station, um, but yeah,
so that was like our christmasevery year.
So I don't know what theseelaborate christmases are like.
I got a lot of them.
Oh, I think I would just beoverwhelmed completely with that
(09:25):
.
Just I wouldn't know what to do.
I mean, I've gotten some nicegifts from my family Don't get
me wrong, but there was alwayslike a number.
It was like you never went overthree or four gifts total.
Yeah, yeah, which I think is agood rule, honestly, to to have
like a specific number of thingsso nobody gets more than the
other or feels like they'regetting left out or whatever
(09:46):
there is yeah, exactly yeah,after I started my family with
my husband, like he was notabout that life.
Shay (09:52):
He's like we're not doing a bunch of gifts, we're not
getting all dressed up onChristmas because I would like
get Alana all dressed up inthese brand new pajamas and take
pictures.
He's like we ain't about thatlife.
She get a couple, she get a fewgifts Cause you know,
especially as kids are growingup, you'll get like I remember
giving Alana a lot of stuff ormy family center and a lot of
stuff and she would play withthat one thing or she'll play
with the box.
You always hear that story.
(10:12):
Alana was one of those kids.
She would play with the boxbefore she played with her gifts
.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
And kids get so much stuff and they can't even
comprehend.
Yeah exactly, exactly.
So, it is.
It's really hard to you know,to, I'm sure, to go from from
one extreme to the other.
Vanessa (10:29):
On either end of that.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
Exactly.
But we also have to rememberthat whatever we give, it needs
to come from our heart, and Godcan take that and he can
multiply it in ways that wecannot even understand.
So that's like a huge thing.
We need to remember that.
You know, we may give somethingthat in our minds is so
insignificant, but to someoneelse it can mean everything.
(10:51):
I remember three Christmasesago I was spending my Christmas
alone.
I was in Puerto Rico workingand it was just me and my little
dog.
And I remember my one of myneighbors came over Christmas
Eve with a little package for meand she knew that I love coffee
and she gave me this gift.
She said open it tomorrowmorning.
So I did open my one gift.
(11:11):
My dad didn't even send meanything that Christmas and I
opened my one gift and it wasthe cutest little pink coffee
mug with flamingos all over itand it was the sweetest thing.
It was that and some homemadepeach cake.
Vanessa (11:25):
That she put in there.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
So, you know, I'm sitting there on Christmas by
myself and I'm as happy as canbe because it's like I have this
sweet treat I love sweets and Ihave my cute little coffee mug
and I make coffee to put in itand I am just enjoying my at
home, alone Christmas.
So much because this one persontook a couple of minutes to wrap
something small for me Wow, andshe will never, ever know what
(11:48):
that meant to me that day,because she has no clue.
That was the only present thatI got that year, oh, wow.
So we need to be really mindfulof these things, that these
small things can make such adifference, such a difference I
know, growing up, something thatwe did as I was a young adult
and still try to do it as oftenas I can today is my mother, my
niece and I, instead of buyinggifts for each other, we would
(12:11):
go shopping on one of thoseangel trees at one of the stores
for elderly people who were innursing homes.
Oh, wow, and it was always.
It always put things intoperspective because of their
wants.
Most of the time it was grippysocks.
They wanted, yeah, handkerchiefsfor men, because they wanted to
have their you know, their cutelittle pocket handkerchief like
(12:33):
they used to have Older ladieslike baby dolls, especially when
they were going through somekind of you know Alzheimer's or
dementia, because it remindedthem of being a mother and
having their baby with them.
And it was these small things.
I remember my mom, my niece andI even when my niece was two
and three years old we had somuch fun going out together and
(12:54):
putting together these littlegift bags for these people.
We had no clue who they were,but we got to spend a lot of
time together.
It cost a whole lot less,honestly, than what gifts would
have been for both of them, andwe just got to enjoy the day and
make these memories with eachother.
I love that, yeah, so and I wasblessed so much from those small
(13:14):
times, and we have to remembertoo that this frees us up from
the pressure to give big and todo it all.
If we remember that there is somuch of that power in those
small gifts and we can rememberwhat that does for someone else.
Because I think that's thebiggest thing.
Is that pressure?
I mean just like you were saying.
You know from your childhoodand growing up in a family that
(13:35):
gave so much.
There's that pressure there tocompete with that and to outdo
and to to overdo, and you know,that's what you know, so that's
what you strive for.
Vanessa (13:46):
Yeah, and you know so.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
so what do you do when you don't anymore, and how
do you feel when you don'tanymore?
I'm sure there's that, thatinside pressure that's like I'm
not doing enough.
Shay (13:56):
Exactly, or that you know there's all this debt that comes
with it.
I mean, let's talk about thefinancial demand.
Ooh Lord, I mean, from what Iremember, my parents struggle
with that for the credit.
They put everything on creditor they use their dividends when
we lived in Alaska, as I saidearlier, and it was just
(14:16):
irresponsible to me.
Now that I look back, it's veryirresponsible and that's what
my husband was trying to to me.
Now, when I look back, it'svery irresponsible and that's
what my husband was trying toteach me.
Like you know, we all thesethings first of all, alana's not
going to remember, because Iwas doing it for her trying to
replicate for her.
she's like not gonna rememberthis mess and the big, the best
Christmases we have has beenabout the experience, like the
house that we were in or theplace that we lived or when we
(14:38):
went to Disney World or Hawaiior whatever.
Like those experiences, likewhen we did those trips we
didn't give gifts because thegifts was the trip, right, and
the experience and the beautifulpictures and all the memories
we were to create.
But yeah, you know, seeing ourfamily continue to do that, I'm
just like I'm gonna age now Idon't care, but when I was
younger I did and I felt like Iwasn't enough or didn't do
(15:01):
enough and you know there wasshame that came from them, like
why you didn't do all this forAlana, you know, when my child
she's still growing up, she's 24, but almost.
But you know she's notexpecting all of that and so if
never she has kids, she's notgoing to do that, cause she
knows experiences are more andthe small thing matters, right.
And I know, just seeing myneighbor's face, just the joy
(15:25):
that came from them when I gavethem a Christmas card.
I mean they were so shocked bythat because we were new to the
neighborhood and I just wantedto, you know, give them a little
bit of joy, and they were soshocked by that.
So those little things reallymatter.
You know, generosity reallycreates a ripple effect.
Small acts of giving can haveripple effects that we never see
(15:46):
.
Like, excuse me, like Vanessa,like you said, when that lady
gave you that mug and that peachcake, which sounds so good, it
was delicious.
I mean she didn't even know whatshe, like you, said what she
was doing and that's sobeautiful.
You know, or like when Nate andI were really struggling in
Germany, I think it was Alana'sfirst Christmas.
She turned one, she was born inDecember and I don't know if it
(16:09):
was Airman Relief Society orsomebody came over with gifts.
We were picked, as you know, wewere struggling military family
and they came in cooking allthese great gifts for Alana.
I and I'll never forget thatbecause you know they really
cared about their servicemembers and so those small acts
really really matter.
And you know, yeah, it's greatto give great big gifts, to
(16:31):
expensive gifts if you can, butpeople just want to be seen,
they want to be loved and theywant to feel that joy and all
times it's just showing up witha cup and some peach cake is all
you need to do exactly, yeah,yeah, and you know, and they
want to be remembered.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
I think that's the biggest thing, too is they want
to know that someone has takenthe time to think of them and to
make sure that they areremembered that day.
Shay (17:00):
Yeah, like I said, be seen Exactly, exactly, you know, and
imagine if your gift leadsanother to helping or your
donation helps fund a project orsomething even greater.
You know, when I uh one of myolder churches um, it's the same
church but they've done mergedand became something else but at
five I five, I used every, used, every year my daughter, I
would participate in thechristmas giving function event
(17:23):
where we would go out to lowerincome neighborhoods and give
gifts and you know money.
And I'll never forget one yearmy husband was going into giant,
a local grocery store, and hecame across two 100 bills and we
we are not this weird, we're soI don't even know what to call
(17:44):
us.
I guess we're so goody, twoshoes.
He was like I just found it to$100 bills.
I was like, oh shoot, and mostpeople I'm not saying most
people, some people would havebeen like oh, yay, we were like,
no, I called the store.
I was like it's, anybodyreported the money missing.
No, we literally were going backto John like asking them over
and over, and then we were likeNate's, like I'm not keeping
this money.
I'm like no, we are so blessed.
I mean, yes, we could have usedthat money.
(18:04):
We're like nope Cause it justfelt wrong.
So we gave a hundred dollars toone of the people at the through
the church and then I gave wethat was actually the year in
2018, we went to Hawaii and Igave my brother and his family a
hundred dollar bill and I justfelt like God was blessing us
and trying to see what we woulddo with this and I'm like we're
not keeping this for ourselves,we're giving this away because
we weren't expecting it, and Ijust don't feel right.
(18:25):
When I find money, I'm stillone of those people like oh my
God, I found $5.
I always give that money awaywhen I find something
no-transcript for Christmasgifts, you know and it's just
(18:47):
like oh my God.
So, but yeah, it's just nobodyyou don't know.
And then being able to fund andgive help people is where it's
at.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
Exactly yeah, and you can give in ways that really
does kind of spread that lovetoo, which is an amazing thing
you know and, like you said, youdon't even know half the time,
like what's going to come of itor what's going to happen, and
that's not for us to knowhonestly but it's, it's amazing
to kind of think about, like,what that could do for someone
(19:15):
else someone else who reallyneeds it, like, could that keep
their lights on?
this month, you know, feed theirfamily?
Could that, you know, give thema Christmas that they weren't
going to have before?
So there's so many blessingsthat can come out of that.
Shay (19:28):
And God uses our willingness to give, no matter
the size, to bless others.
So I know just every, like yousaid, he knows when he and I
find some money or we have anopportunity to give, we're going
to give, and so he continues tobless us in that way, so we can
continue to give and keep thatcycle going.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
Right, yep, and we should all strive to be like
that too.
Yeah, exactly, and have thatwillingness, and really that is
what holidays are about.
Yeah, you know, we've gotteninto this societal thing where
it's all about spending moneyand more and more and more, and
this picture perfect day, andthat's not the real meaning of
this.
And we have to take a secondsometimes and step back and say,
(20:08):
okay, what is the reality ofthis and what are they telling
me?
Shay (20:12):
What are they telling you?
This is supposed to be about.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
I think we forget about that a lot of times.
So we really need to just takea second sometimes and say, okay
, let me get back to where it'ssupposed to be and it's all
about, you know, kind ofbringing things out for other
people and really helping them.
So you know, and then when wegive um, you know we need to
move in faith and know that Godwill multiply our efforts.
(20:35):
And we're talking about thesmaller gifts again with that.
So you know, it may be you finda hundred dollars and you give
that to someone who really needsit.
Well, maybe a hundred dollarsis not what they needed.
Vanessa (20:48):
They needed $75 to make it work this month.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
So they have 25 extra dollars.
Yeah, and they're in just thisplace of such, you know, just
peace and happiness that theywant to give to somebody else.
And pay it forward, you know,and it really it can grow, and
it can multiply, and it canchange somebody's whole outlook.
And it can change their lives.
Shay (21:09):
Yeah, like I said, don't give more.
Give from your heart.
You know God, yeah, he's justwant to see where your heart's
at and I love that.
Yeah, Paying it for it.
I love when you get in thelines back in the day.
When I go through thedrive-thru I try to cook more
now, but you know, andsomebody's like your food's
already been paid, and so thenyou're like, all right, well,
I'll pay for the other person.
(21:34):
But I mean you want to keepthat going and I love that, that
trend, or just being able to bea part of that five and they
give 20, you know, so we cankeep it moving.
You never know, yeah never,know Exactly.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
You know, and God doesn't measure the size of your
gift.
He measures the willingness togive, and that's something we
have to remember too.
So, even if you find yourselfin this place where you can only
give a dollar or two, or youknow you can only, you know,
spare two things out of yourpantry, or whatever it might be,
or however you might give, ifyou are willingly giving that
(22:04):
with a happy heart.
God sees that and that's whathe's looking for.
He's looking for people who areso happy and so in love with
him that that is their joy inlife is to give and help others
because they feel so blessed.
Shay (22:19):
Yes, amen.
And don't compare your gifts toothers, right?
Because I know I struggled withthe envy back in the day,
especially with gifts and seeingcoming in family parties or
Christmas gatherings and, likeyou know, all the cousins are
bragging about what they got.
You know, and I guess weprobably were one of them, since
our parents was gettingeverything, including one
Christmas where we got the new,the first Nintendo ever, and my
(22:41):
mom bought 15 games to go withthat Nintendo and she used to
try to hide stuff down in thebasement in Alaska and we always
knew what she was giving us.
So I'll never forget 15Nintendo games.
I only remember playing like kidIcarus and Mario and all those,
but I was like I was thinkingother days like Icarus and Mario
and all those, but I was like Iwas thinking other days like I
don't even remember, but liketwo or three of those games, but
(23:04):
yeah, she, she used to just goall out.
So you know, obviously there'ssomething going on there with
her prior, with her backstoryand her family, um, but so who
knows what my family wasprobably like comparing to us,
because we had so much, eventhough you know there was the
financial piece, theirresponsible financial piece
with it, but try not to comparegifts.
(23:25):
This can be hard for somepeople, but you know God gives
you what you need and you shouldbe grateful for that Exactly.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
And I'll tell you, for most of my Christmas
experiences, the most expensivegift has never been my favorite.
I don't know about you, butit's usually not my favorite, so
just remember that when you'retrying to compare.
Shay (23:43):
Yeah, I have to think back on that Cause I'm thinking back
on the stereo that I wastalking about earlier.
That was a great gift, but itwasn't the gift Like that cross
gold necklace was, and that manthat gave it to me that was the
best gift I've ever had.
So, yeah, I have to do someself-reflection and see about
that.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Yeah, exactly I know.
Last year was my very firstChristmas with my boyfriend and
he gave me, so we didn't do ahuge Christmas last year and
we're not going to do anotherhuge Christmas this year.
But last year he gave mesomething.
I don't even think he knew atthe time when he purchased it
what it would mean to me.
I'm probably going to crytalking about it, but he gave me
something I don't even think heknew at the time when he
purchased it what it would meanto me.
I'm probably going to crytalking about it, but he gave me
a box of Marzipan candy.
Oh, and that was my mother'sfavorite candy, oh God, and it
meant so much to me that hewould give me something that he
(24:34):
didn't even know was my mom'sfavorite.
Shay (24:36):
What he just knew.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
Oh, I was going to say, oh, look at him listening
to you, oh wow.
He knew I talked about Mars,apollo and all these things but
um, and he knew Germany was likemy thing and all this stuff,
but that to me meant more to melast year than anything else.
So those little things mattermore than you know, that's crazy
.
You got a good one there.
Shay (24:59):
You know, we're hosting our first huge family Christmas
gathering this year and, man,it's hard not to compare to all
of the 20, 30, 40 years ofgatherings that have been going
on, like trying to compete withthat.
And my husband told my aunt anduncle a couple of weeks ago at
my brother's retirement that youguys need to set your
(25:20):
expectations very, very, verylow.
You guys need to set yourexpectations very, very, very
low.
She's like what she's like, no,he's like.
What I want you to do is makesure your expectations are
standard and low.
So, whatever we do, it'll begood, Because people are going
to come in thinking it shouldhave been like on Sherry's way.
But everybody's had thesedifferent gatherings and done
great things.
(25:40):
But sometimes they've been ahit or miss.
Sometimes they have so muchfood it's overwhelming and then
it's not good, or the list goeson of good and bad things.
So I don't want to compare eventhe experience.
We're saying don't compare yourgifts to others, Don't even
compare your experience.
If you're going to host a party, do it to the best of your
ability.
Don't try to, like my daughter,say don't do too much.
(26:03):
You're doing too much Cause I'mlike, Ooh, we can get
specialized ornaments we canhave.
I want to do like a KardashianChristmas.
I want to have snow coming downthe foyer.
She's like no stop.
I'm like, yeah, you're right,You're right, and plus I'm not
trying to go broke.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
I see the money flying right now.
Shay (26:28):
So I haven't done any of that and I'm trying to go to
black uh, black Friday sales andget the some you know stuff
there and make sure we don'tspend too much.
But all right, well, I'm goingto wrap with this Whittles
offering story.
So I think Mark 12, 41 through44 sums today's episode.
Well, it says Jesus sat downopposite the place where the
offerings were put and watchedthe crowd putting their money
into the temple treasury.
Many rich people threw in largeamounts but a poor widow came
(26:52):
and put in two very small coppercoins worth only a few cents.
Calling his disciples to him,jesus said truly, I tell you,
this poor widow has put moreinto the treasury than all the
others.
They all gave out of theirwealth but she, out of her
poverty, put in everything allshe had to live on.
(27:16):
Wow, I don't know if I could dothat.
That's faith, amen.
Any other follow-up thoughtsother than that's faith?
Speaker 3 (27:26):
yeah, you know I I talk about this every year, but
my grandfather grew up in thedepression and on good years he
would get an orange, and if wecompare what we get yearly to
his hopeful gift of getting anorange every year, I think we're
doing okay.
I love that.
And I think, if we're able togive that.
You know I think we're doingokay.
(27:47):
So just remember that, if youcan, can put yourself in that
place to where getting an orangeis an amazing Christmas.
I think we're doing good.
Shay (27:58):
When you told me that story, I was going to give my
nieces and nephews oranges, andmy daughter's like do you want
to do that?
I say, do it.
Yeah, with the upside of Iwould still give them their gift
, but I just want to see theirfaces and see their reactions.
So like, yeah, like everybody'sgetting orange this year, maybe
I'll do that for the Christmasparty.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
Like, everybody got an orange in a paper sack.
Shay (28:21):
Yeah, orange in a paper sack, wow Well, hey, everyone.
Thank you for joining us foranother episode.
Hope you have a wonderful day.
A big thank you for listeningto this episode.
We hope you found today's chatabout the intersection of
religion and money insightful.
We would love to hear yourfeedback.
Hit that subscribe button orfollow the podcast and please
(28:43):
feel free to leave us a review.
Vanessa (28:45):
Yes, and for the latest Yahweh's Money content, visit
us at www.
crusaders4change.
org or find us anywhere youlisten to podcasts.
Until next time, stayfinancially fit and spiritually
inspired and remember it'salways better Yahweh's way.
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